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Ontopic Discussion => Current Scientologists (CoS) => Topic started by: Ididntcomeback on July 16, 2009, 05:39:15 PM

Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 16, 2009, 05:39:15 PM
    This thread is for accounts of people who were there.
These accounts should help to answer many questions and fill
in gaps about what went on behind the scenes inside Scientology
management over the years.

I`ll post these every so often.
I`m hopeful that any current or lapsed Scientologists who have made
their way here will  take the bold step towards freedom and let common sense

You will be aware of some of the fall out from the incidents mentioned
in these articles which stretch out over 59 years.
Truth is stranger than fiction.
Welcome to the Twilight zone....
First account follows
Leaving the CoS from a position in upper management can be quite a
"culture shock". For the people I've known who've done it,
re-integration into the world can take years. Leaving the CoS was
different for me. Backing off the lines slowly, there was no shock in
the transition.

After having spent 4 years in Sea Org upper management, in 1975 I
left the Flagship. My wife and I went back to my hometown of Denver.
While there we decided to stay and have a family. We got approval
from Mary Sue Hubbard to be posted in Denver, where I started and ran
the CoS of Colorado. After growing that org into one of the largest
in the world, I had one of my many "run ins" with the Guardians
Office, removed from my post as CO (Commanding Officer) of the org and
comm eved in LA. Even though I was exonerated, in 1978, I ended up in
Clearwater posted as Sea Org Chief, managing all the Sea Org units
around the world.

While in Flag management, I voiced serious disagreement with
Flag's management of orgs, as well as the treatment of Sea Org family
units. Having worked closely with Hubbard on the ship, I thought if I
could reach him, these "outnesses" could be resolved. Unfortunately,
he was unavailable. I was "busted" for not being a "team player", as
I continually refused to be involved with the crazy and unethical
orders and programs. I figured that I would just "tough things out".
Then my wife became pregnant with our second child. Since my
two-year-old daughter was already miserable there, my wife and I
decided not to bring up another child in that insanity. So as not to
be declared, we went through the painful process of "routing out" of
the Sea Org and returned to Denver as "freeloaders". I ended up in
1979 working for my father, managing his business.

That same year, 1979, a mission was sent from what was now upper
management (known as SU/Special Unit or WDC/Watchdog Committee) to
find me. I was informed that my evaluations of Flag management had
turned out to be correct, and was asked if I would return to
Clearwater. Turning down that offer, I was then told that my removal
from the CO Denver post was a mistake and that the org's stats had
crashed since my leaving. The mission wanted to know if I would go
back on post as CO Denver. Having a life and job in Denver now, I
proposed going back in the org in the evenings to get the stats back
up into the ranges that they were in when I left. After agreeing to
that, I gave the mission my conditions.

The first condition was that I must be left alone by all management
to do whatever I saw fit, giving me complete autonomous power with
regards to the org. Secondly, there would be additional conditions
once I fulfilled my part of the bargain and got the stats back up.
(1) My freeloader debt would be cancelled, leaving me a public person,
and (2) that auditing was to be set up for me at AOLA through OT 7.
My proposal was forwarded by the mission to upper management and
approved by Hubbard. Over the next many months, I fulfilled my end of
the bargain, and all my conditions were then honored. So, by 1980, I
found myself out of the Sea Org with no freeloader debt and just a
public person again.

Later that year, in May of 1980, I received a phone call at my job
from Dianna Hubbard. As if the call itself wasn't enough of a shock,
she then told me the purpose of her call. ..

For the rest...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 22, 2009, 11:22:36 PM

I moved my family to Clearwater several years ago to be in a community of Scientologists and to continue up the Bridge. When we first arrived here, there was an excitement in the air. There was the ground breaking of for Super Power. It was stated that donations were pouring in, auditors were being trained and in just a short time, the area would be filled with people from all over the world to do Super Power.

My kids enjoyed doing courses at Mace-Kingsley with other kids. (This was before C of S shut down the courseroom.)

I knew many people that were investing in real estate as the prices soared and some were cashing in with flipping houses. Seems a majority of the realtors in Clearwater were Scientologists.

There was excitement as the first new OTVIII attested. There was a big push to get 10 Missions opened around Flag. Tampa Org opened with smoke and mirrors. The first "Ideal Org." This was the first time I became aware that a building was to be funded by donations and not by paid services delivered.

Our business prospered, Our real estate seemed an awesome investment.

The kids did not attend "Scientology" schools, but used their LRH study tech, PTS tech, etc. and excelled. They did not want to attend events at the church as they would be constantly harrassed to join the SO and have attempts to degrade them for not going to a "Scientology" school. We are proud that today they are all in top colleges with scholarships and are pursuing their dreams.

Meantime, my wife and I were not having an easy time continuing up the Bridge. The courserooms and HGC's were not the "friendliest places on the planet."
We spent over $200,000 for redoing training, sec checks, preps, etc before actually taking another step on the Bridge. And of course we were to become Patrons of the IAS $40,000 in order to get on/stay on OT VII.

The new Mission holders were told that they could not have Missions within 20 miles of Flag, the Field Auditors were told they could not audit within 20 miles of Flag. The solution to that little problem was that there were no new Missions to open, Field Auditors quit auditing and/or moved away. The two existing Missions, (one owned by the Feshback's and the other by the Manier's) were told they could not service any public that had ever been on an Org's line and they had to empty out their courserooms. Most of the students were there because of the flexible schedule and could not be on the strict Flag student schedules.

And then "Basics" was announced. Messiah David Miscavige told us we were all stupid because the books were wrong (caused by those evil transcriptionists). Now, even though we had just completed a good deal of retraining, we had to all go back to the course room and start over with reading the books and listen to the lectures from the beginning. Odd, that this was now just an endless runway of significance and NO application.

This is when we finally admitted to ourselves, we had had enough. We stayed in Clearwater awhile longer. We noticed that people didn't socialize much now. I would occasionally see a Scientologist at the cigar shop or grocery store. There was not the friendliness of times past. We didn't discuss the Bridge, course, etc. We didn't talk about going to the Freewinds anymore. One new OT VIII said the only safe thing to talk about was real estate and health diets otherwise there could be KR's written if there was the slightest downside mentioned regarding the current situation of Scientology in Clearwater.

We sold our home to a newly arrived Scientology family from Europe. We even left them a complete set of the "new" books and lectures as a house warming gift. Yes, I feel a bit guilty about not warning them that their dreams may not come true in Clearwater.

We are in a new community. We both feel and look several years younger. We are enjoying talking to people and studying about "other" practices such as the Eastern religions, Tolle, The Law of Attraction, and whatever we decide interests us at the moment. We are reading novels, going to meet up groups, and finding wonderful people that practice living what they love.

We do not regret being "Scientologists" for most of our adult lives. We appreciate the legacy of L Ron Hubbard. We were challenged to have a successful business so we could pay for the services we recieved over the years and now we have our reliable source of income. We introduced others to Scientology and we applied the technology in our lives.

We reached the "End Phenomena" of this organized religion. Anything more would be an "Overrun." I have little BPC* on it. Perhaps I will write a novel about my full experiences which covers over 30 years.

BTW, a "new" OTVIII gave me a copy of a most useful book before I decided to leave Clearwater. I highly recommend it. J.J. Luna's "How to be invisible: The essential guide to protecting your personal privacy, your assets, and your life." You can find it on Amazon or Barnes and Noble will order it for you. And yes, he used it and we have used it. We are in touch by choice, but otherwise "Invisible."

My hope is that each of you find a way to live what you love and enjoy each day, each moment of your lives. Turn up the volumn on the good, and turn down the volumn on the bad.


Editor's addition:
*BPC = By-Passed Charge, a scientology term meaning roughly "some current upset from shit in the past"
We are the architects of our own lives. Design and build the life you want.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 24, 2009, 08:36:19 PM
        The Church of Scientology: spiritual community or destructive cult?

I have no control of the ads displayed on this web page, but at least I can write informative articles about the alternative religions and techniques promoted in the ads. I've written four articles on TM, which is featured in an ad for MUM. Now it's time for Scientology. The TM articles generated 241 comments. It will be interesting to see how many this article will accumulate. I have also written related articles on the ideal spiritual community and on cults.

Lisa Marie Presley, Tom Cruise, Chic Corea, and John Travolta are Scientologists. Some critics think Travolta's strict adherence to his Scientology beliefs resulted in his autistic son Jett's death.  Scientologists believe modern psychiatric medicine derives from an ancient alien civilization's plot to drug and enslave humanity. Tom Cruise vehemently and publicly oppose the pharmacological treatment of mental illness. Unfortunately, Scientology's own brand of therapy, called "auditing", is worthless, not much better than the prayers of faith healers. Recently, there has been speculation that Travolta is deeply distressed over his Church's inability to help Jett and it's insistence that he and his wife undergo testing to see if their negative attitudes may have contributed to Jett's death. Rumors have it that he's considering leaving the church. If that happens, he will be one of the highest level members ever to defect.

Other people who are thought to have been victim's of Scientology's quackery were Lisa McPherson and Elli Perkins. Lisa McPherson died of a pulmonary embolism while under the care of the Flag Service Organization (FSO), a branch of the Church of Scientology. Following her death, the Church of Scientology was indicted on two felony charges, "abuse and/or neglect of a disabled adult" and "practicing medicine without a license."

The charges against the Church of Scientology were dropped after the state's medical examiner changed the cause of death from "undetermined" to an "accident" on June 13, 2000. A civil suit brought by her family against the Church was settled on May 28, 2004.

On March 13, 2003, Jeremy Perkins, a 28 year old untreated schizophrenic, stabbed his mother Elli 77 times. She bled to death on her bedroom floor. Jeremy is currently being held at Rochester Psychiatric Center, having been found not responsible for Elli's murder by reason of mental disease or defect. Perkins, his mother and father, his sister, and her husband are all members of the Church of Scientology.


Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 25, 2009, 08:15:43 AM
                         Greg and Debra Barnes

Altering the Tech is a high crime in Scientology, punishable by expulsion (or as it’s known in Scientology, being declared a Suppressive Person.) So why are current members of Scientology allowing David Miscavige to make huge alterations to Hubbard’s writings once again? They should stand up and demand his removal.

Of course, people in the past who pointed out these alterations were themselves declared SP for daring to speak out. Here’s Greg and Debra Barnes to talk about what they went through in the 90’s.

Anatomy of a Declare

Greg and Debra Barnes discovered that someone was re-writing Hubbard bulletins and they they were excommunicated for making that discovery.

While they were doing Scientology’s confidential upper OT level VII the Barnes were shown a technical bulletin (C/S series 73RB) that Scientology’s new management claimed was written by Hubbard. The bulletin stated that the security checks (also called “refreshers”) they and all persons auditing on OTVII were being forced to undergo each six months contradicted what Hubbard himself had directed about such processes. They also realized that C/S series 73RA was 12 pages long whereas the bulletin they were reading was only 5 pages long.

So, why is that important and what are all the numbers? C/S Series 73RA means that this was Hubbard’s 73rd bulletin on Case Supervision of auditing processes; the “R” stands for “revised” – in other words, Hubbard may have changed some things in the bulletin after initially releasing it. The next letter shows how many times it was revised so in this case “A” indicates it was revised once; “73RB” means that the same bulletin was revised twice. That is important because the Barnes discovered that seven pages of Hubbard’s instructions had been removed from the bulletin by Scientology’s current management after Hubbard died in 1986. In Scientology, altering Hubbard’s writings is a criminal offense, so the Barnes took it upon themselves to bring these alterations to the organization’s attention.

The internal documents and reports listed on the Meet Greg and Debra Barnes page may be a little difficult for the “unitiated” to read but nonetheless, they offer a fascinating glimpse into how the organization conducts its internal affairs and the format in which Scientologists are instructed to resolve disputes and grievances, namely by writing reports.

Greg and Debra Barnes

Posted: 23 Aug 2009 05:36 AM PDT

Altering the Tech is a high crime in Scientology, punishable by expulsion (or as it’s known in Scientology, being declared a Suppressive Person.) So why are current members of Scientology allowing David Miscavige to make huge alterations to Hubbard’s writings once again? They should stand up and demand his removal.

Of course, people in the past who pointed out these alterations were themselves declared SP for daring to speak out. Here’s Greg and Debra Barnes to talk about what they went through in the 90’s.

Anatomy of a Declare
Greg and Debra Barnes discovered that someone was re-writing Hubbard bulletins and they they were excommunicated for making that discovery.

While they were doing Scientology’s confidential upper OT level VII the Barnes were shown a technical bulletin (C/S series 73RB) that Scientology’s new management claimed was written by Hubbard. The bulletin stated that the security checks (also called “refreshers”) they and all persons auditing on OTVII were being forced to undergo each six months contradicted what Hubbard himself had directed about such processes. They also realized that C/S series 73RA was 12 pages long whereas the bulletin they were reading was only 5 pages long.

So, why is that important and what are all the numbers? C/S Series 73RA means that this was Hubbard’s 73rd bulletin on Case Supervision of auditing processes; the “R” stands for “revised” – in other words, Hubbard may have changed some things in the bulletin after initially releasing it. The next letter shows how many times it was revised so in this case “A” indicates it was revised once; “73RB” means that the same bulletin was revised twice. That is important because the Barnes discovered that seven pages of Hubbard’s instructions had been removed from the bulletin by Scientology’s current management after Hubbard died in 1986. In Scientology, altering Hubbard’s writings is a criminal offense, so the Barnes took it upon themselves to bring these alterations to the organization’s attention.

The internal documents and reports listed on the Meet Greg and Debra Barnes page may be a little difficult for the “unitiated” to read but nonetheless, they offer a fascinating glimpse into how the organization conducts its internal affairs and the format in which Scientologists are instructed to resolve disputes and grievances, namely by writing reports.

Greg and Debra Barnes Knowledge Reports

Posted: 23 Aug 2009 05:35 AM PDT

These internal Knowledge Reports were exchanged in the organization in 1999 in accordance with Scientology’s Ethics procedures while the Barnes’ fought to clear their names and to get Hubbard’s technology applied correctly during the upper OT levels.

“Things That Should Not Be” Report
May 10, 1999

At the time Greg wrote this report, he didn’t understand that he was intentionally being “reverse audited” at Flag Service Organization.

On Friday I go into session with Therese Blum she flys my ruds. Asks do you have ARC X? Then looks up and asks do you have an ARC X? I answer and she says s/g that I could not understand. She then asks do you have a PTP? She then asks do you have a consideration and I said yes aren’t you going to complete the ARC X and she says ” it didn’t read”. This stuck my attenion and then she does not reask PTP and goes right to W/H and after she asks the? she looks up and says has a w/h been missed. We spent at least 45 minutes and I could not find anything for the longest time and we finally got how I was covert in a comm cycle.

Then next thing she said was that we are going to start the sec check. The ? was has RTC missed a W/H on you? I could not find a/g on this. She then started asking me about any out ethics in general and I told her that I had yelled at my son and my wife and had been invalidative. None of these are of recent nature. She then started asking for more out-ethics and she volunteered areas porn on the internet, entheta on the internet about Scientology, had I slept with Virgina McClaughry and she went on.

I asked her aren’t you going to take up any of those that I gave you and she said no I am just checking for an overview of out-ethics. She then took up my yelling at my son and after I told her about it she did not ask when or is that all or anything else. I asked her if she was going to finish the overt and she did. I was told by her that we were going to do this FPRD style and she hatted me on this but we did not handle this OW FPRD style we FN’ed it and then ended off.

After the session I decided to request another auditor because of the ARCX confusion and her not being an American maybe there was a language problem.

I called on Saturday and requested from Valerie a change of auditor and requested Debbie Titus who had been auditing my wife and had had great wins with. I was told that by Valerie that Debbie Titus was a review auditor and could not do Sec Checks. This made no sense since she was doing my wife’s eligibility, I also requested a change of C/S. I told Valerie that I had only 5 hours of sleep and was not sessionable she said come in anyways.

I arrived and Valerie the senior D of P denied my request for another auditor or C/S and told me that I was going to continue with this auditor and C/S. I told Valerie about the ARCX confusion in session and about her accent and she just acked me.

After Valerie had denied my request the auditor opens the door to the HGC and says to me ” problem with my accent?” She was sarcastic about it.

We went into her auditing room and I told her that I was not sessionable and she put the cans in my hands and told me that she was going to do a FPRD correction list. I told her no we weren’t because I was not sessionable and that was squirrel and I put down the cans. She tried to get me to pick up the cans and I refused. After some 10-15 minutes of my refusing to pick up the cans she said let’go.

I was then escorted back to the MAA office and then back up to the HGC. Causuma came up and said that my auditor was going to do an ethics interview.

I went back into the auditors room and she began asking me “what overt has been restimulated” this was run repetitively on me with no OW’s that I gave being taken up per standard handling of OW’s. I started to get enturbulated and asked if there was another question and she said no just answer this one. After some 20-30 minutes of having this question run on me repetitively with no FN’s indicated or OW’s per the standard handling I refused to continue and put the cans down.

She then got up and opened her door and Causuma and April came in and escorted me to the RTC rep(Italian girl) and told her that I was being uncooperative. I told the RTC rep that the auditor tried to do a FPRD correction list on me and I was not sessionable. April then told the RTC rep that I had shown ED Gonsolin C/S Series 73RB and that he was off the level. I told April she was lying. April then told the RTC rep that 10 people had seen the reference and this was also a lie. More discussion was had and Causuma told me that she wanted do an ethics interview and I agreed.

We went back to the HGC routed back into the auditing room and I told Causma to tell the auditor what we were going to do and she did. I sat down this time even more tired and the auditor began with “what overt has been restimulated”?? I told her we were suppose to do an ethics interview and she said this is it. This repetitive process of “what overt has been restimulated” went on for about 25 minutes and then I said no more. I told her that I was tired and getting hungry and she said “I just want to get this question answered”.! I continued for awhile longer and then said no more.

I stood up and the auditor stood up and tried to get me to sit back down and I told her that I just wanted to go see Causuma. She would not accept this and she blocked the door. I told her we were not going to continue this because I was tired and getting hungry and I wanted to go home and get some sleep. I told her we were not going to continue and that was that. I started to get pissed and she said “I know you want to hit me so go ahead” I told her that I wasn’t going to hit her I just had had enough. Cuasuma and April then came in and started to somewhat yell at me and showed me HCOB 6 March 1982R Confessional Tech Policies and told me that if I did not answer the question that she would put a non-enturbulation order on me. I told her go ahead I don’t care because this was going no where and I was tired and hungry.

I agreed to go at it somemore so the auditor came back in and we proceeded on the repetitive question”what overt has been restimulated”. This went on for another 10-15 minutes and finally I said no more. I was giving OW’s with the questions but none of them were taken down per how to handle OW’s and no FN ever indicated. After she got that no matter what she did I wasn’t going to continue Causuma and April came in like the door was never locked. They both said that this question is reading and you are going to answer it. I told them that I had been answering it and one of them said you are going to answer it somemore. April then sits down in the auditors chair and says I am going to ask you s/g pick up the cans. I told Causuma to stay and she did. April asked me “what overt has been restimulated?” I put the cans down and said no more.

The auditor then came back into the room and all three of them were blocking the door. I told them that this was too weird and that this wasn’t Scientology and I did not sign up for this insanity. I tried to get to the door and they were gently pushing me back and I said enough. I was threatened with non-enturbulation order and again I said I don’t care, I refuse to cooperate any further that this whole situation was over and that they could do anything that they wanted.

The auditor then came back inside and Causuma and April then left and she asked me if I could come back in tommorrow. I told her no and to have Cathy call me on Monday.

Cathy calls me on Monday and I tell her that I am not coming in. I get transferred to Causuma and I tell her that I am mailing her a letter and it will explain everything.

She trys to get me to come in to speak with her but I refuse and we both hang up. She calls back and leaves a message that if I am not there in :30 minutes she will put a non-enturbulation order on me for blowing a sec check. Causma calls me back and we talk and I tell her that I am not coming in and I won’t let Debra have done to her want was done to me because it was squirrel and she knew it.

Causuma tells me to come pick up my Non-Enturbulation order and I told her just mail it to me and we ended the comm.

This is what occurred and I wouldn’t have believed it if it didn’t happen to me personally. I want you to know that I did everything to cooperate for as long as I could and I should have stopped the entire madness a lot sooner than I finally did. It is obvious to me that there is an SP on the lines for something this gross to have occurred. I do hope that you can see that there was everything done to try and spin me in and make it look like I deserve a NON-Enturb order based on False Reports and a squirelly sec check or ethics interview.

more to come...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 25, 2009, 04:03:20 PM
Letter to Scientology’s International Justice Chief (IJC)
May 10, 1999

Last night (5/9) my wife and I went to our first hearing of our comm eve. We had requested K/R’s on Saturday and were denied copies of these by April the public MAA and the Heather Petzold the Senior Dir of I &R. I told the Dir of I & R that we needed a copy of the K/R’s per HCOPL so that we could respond to the charges she said you will see them at your Comm Eve. We were called by April later that night(Sat) and left a message that my wife and I could come in on Sunday evening to see the K/R’s @ 7:00PM approximately 30- minutes before the committee met. April also left on the same message that we were both under a non-enturbulatin order.

My wife and I went in and there were some K/R’s by April. I had 5 K/R’s plus a non-enturbulation order that I was not given a copy of and told that she only had one copy. I asked for copies of the K/R’s and was told by April that she would make copies and give them to me later. I never got copies. April asked me if Debra knew she was under a non-enturbulation order and I told her how were we suppose to know we never received a copy of any notice of such an action. Neither my wife or I have ever received a NON-Enturbulation order and a lot of ethics gradients have been skipped here, this is very ethics.

The hearing was short and I was asked by Art Webb how I pleaded to several charges just charges no specifics of why I was being charged with anything. I plead innocent to everything except causing a problem and I pleady guilty. I asked if I could tape the proceedings and was told that there is no policy stating you can. The committee had a tape recorder but I do not know if it was on or not. Since we were being denied a bill of particulars and K/R’s I wanted to have a record of what went on. I was not asked any questions by the committe regarding any of the evidence. I provide each committe member with the attached data.

After I gave my pleadings to the more than 8-10 crimes and I think there were some high crimes I was dismissed. This occurred around 8:00PM I am not sure of the exact time.

I went out and sat down in reception and was not seen again by the committee. I requested to see my Non-Enturbulation Order, from one of the members, she was a black girl, who kept on coming out of the meeting room. She told me to get it from April and I told her that April had given her only copy to the Comm Eve committee. The girl went in and was coming out with the Non-Enturbulation order when another member stopped her and the black girl said you will have to get a copy from April.

My wife went into the meeting and after she was done I told the black girl that we would be responding to the K/R’s that the committee was given on us. She told me that I could send the responses per policy to ethics and that they were not interested in receiving our responses and that it did not matter. The girl was polite but was very clear in that the committee did not want our responses. How can a committee of evidence evaluate correctly the innocence or guilt of someone if they do not have all the data. This is our concern that this fact finding body does not have all the facts and I do not know if we have seen all of the reports either.

I was shown 5 K/R’s and not given any copies otherwise I would have attached them for you to see.

Here is a rundown of what I saw:

K/R by Peaches Pook a public and friend of mine: She wrote that I told her that we tell all new people coming on board that we do not allow K/R’s to be written in our company.

Response: I did say that and we also tell people that if you have something to say you tell the person whom you have something to say to. Get in comm don’t just write a K/R apply ethics gradients.

K/R-Jessica (Public MAA Receptionist): This K/R stated that my wife was yelling at April concerning where are our K/R’s.

Response: Her voice was raised by not yelling and we were upset that we were being denied copies of K/R’s which violates HCOPL K/R’s as well as denied a copy of the bill of particulars. We were justifiably upset that here was a document that accused us of some very serious acts as well as acts that were totally false and the Heather the Dir of I & R was extremely short with me regarding my wanting to have a copy. She stated “that you have been furnished a copy and you read it and that is all we have to do and we do not want you to have a copy”.

K/R-Causma(Public MAA): Stated that I refused to come in and see her and told her to mail me my non-enturbulation order that she said that she was going to put on me for not coming in to see her. It stated other points as well but that were the main points that I recall.

Response: True I did tell her that I would not come in and that I would not let happen to Debra what had occurred to me in that non-standard “ethics interview” where I was asked repetitively”what overt has been restimulated” and I was not sessionable and told several terminals this as I stated in my earlier comm to you.

K/R-Theresa Blum(my auditor): One report said that I was evil and 1.1 and I refused to continue letting her audit me. Regarding the evil and 1.1 points of her K/R there were no specific acts that I recall that she gave and per HCOPL opinions are not part of K/R’s. There was more to the report but again I was not given a copy. Theresa also wrote at the top of the report the auditing command she was using “overt in restimulation” I am pretty sure that is what she wrote. The command she used and April used was what overt has been restimulated. I told April that that was the command and that that was a listing question and did she remember that and she just schrugged her shoulders.

Response: This could have been the session first thing Saturday afternoon where she wanted to do a FPRD correction list on me after I told her that I had had only 5 hours of sleep and even after I told her that she wanted to do the correction list and I put the cans down. This was also in another one of my reports that I sent to IJC as well as provided to the committee of evidence.

K/R-Theresa Blum (Do not have data on it ) Again I have no copy as of yet.

K/R-Ruth Valko written by April from an interview: Stated that I told her to read C/S Series 73RB and highlighted exception section and part B of page 4. Ruth told me to write up a Things that shouldn’t be report.

Response: This report was correct but I would like to make it clear that I did not get a copy and neither do I recall if there were other points on the K/R that I would respond to. What is the out-ethics on telling someone to read an HCOB?

K/R-Ed Gonsolin-written by his auditor and I was shown only the top paragraph where it stated that I had meetings at my house. It stated the Virginia and Ed and Debra and myself were the only attendees. The report stated that we met at Virginia’s house. Virginia lives in Idaho, Ed in LA and we live in Clearwater. I told April the above regarding our different states of residence and she stated that maybe it was here in Clearwater. I recall no time when Virginia and ED were together here at Flag and that is not to say that it did not happen but I do not recall a time of specific where we would have a meeting.

At the current moment my wife and I are very concerned that we will be declared suppressive persons. Many LRH references have been violated regarding the proceedings that have transpired so far and they are:

1) Denied a copy of the bill of particulars of the comm eve.

2) Not provided with copies of K/R’s written us and the comm eve committee not interested in our response.

3) False Reports being written on me and my wife as in the bill of particulars stating alarming crimes and high crimes which are not true and this bill of particulars being put in reception of the MAA’s office and we are denied a copy by the Senior Dir of I & R.

4) This entire situation is extremely enturbulating and suppressive to us because of the above stated points and we do not feel that justice is what is being gone after here.

Your immediate help in this matter is needed because we are concerned that we will soon be declared based on false reports.


Greg Barnes

more to come...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 26, 2009, 08:28:30 AM
                   Non-monetary contributions to Scientology
Letter sent May 19, 1999

Greg and Debra Barnes
Clearwater, Florida 33756

May 9th, 1999

Contributions of Greg and Debra Barnes:

Was awarded the #3 top street bookseller in the US in 1980.

Assisted Dissem org in getting the Tony Hichman interview put on cable TV stations in Dallas in 1984. Went and got several stations to put the interview on. Dallas Texas

Assisted the then Mission in Atlanta with regging and recruitment of staff. I regged an estimated 60-70 thousand dollars and got people moving onto auditing and training who were not.

When mission was becoming org we donated $500.00 to furnish the LRH office and our donation made the project happen. 1984-90

During the Portland trial we paid the plane ticket for someone to go and represent us.

1986, started WISE consulting company Atlanta Georgia and put over 70 doctors onto the bridge and some of these doctors staff joined mission staff. Many became Patrons and are still active today. These doctors spent in excess of $1 million with the church not to mention the others that they brought in that we don’t know about. We paid over 250,000 in royalties to WISE over a 4 year period and introduced LRH admin tech to over 300 doctors. Many of our doctors did L’s at Flag and we sent doctors into orgs in Ohio,Minneapolis and Atlanta and LA Day. Will provide names if desired.

Spoke at a public forum in Gwinette County Georgia against having a psych hospital put in. We went twice and Dwight Matheny who ran the CCHR Chapter in Atlanta can attest to this. 1989-90

Did radio talk show Media on Dianetics in 1986-87, estimate that we did 10-15 talk shows that got very good results.

Became Life time members of IAS right after the IAS was formed.

Moved to Dallas in 1990 and became active with OT committee and was on training.

Went to Chalokoe in Oklahoma City to participate in the support for the center when it was under attacked by David Mayo and other squirrels. Their was a mental health board meeting that was discussing Chalokoe and we were there to show support.

After Oklahoma Bombing a new mission was formed and did not have a supervisor. Debra is an interned sup and took two weeks off of work and went up there so that the mission could open and deliver courses. Her going there was vital for the mission to open. This occurred some 2-3 weeks after the Federal Building was bombed.

We housed for some 30-60 days the sup in training that the Oklahoma Mission sent down to Dallas to get trained.

Went on a OSA cycle with Carol South where we acted like wogs to get data for OSA Dallas on a squirrel group being run by Alan Walters this occurred around 91-92.

Assisted the DSA Austin in recruiting an OT to infiltrate another squirrel group in Dallas by Alan Walters. 93-94

Housed on two different occasions the CO Wise WUS Nattassia Briggs when she was in town to get members signed up. 92-93 estimated time

Housed Bob Bledsoe on two different occasions he was a Flag FSM and assisted him with names of individuals who could be Flag public. 93-94 est. time

Housed for almost two weeks a SO recruit tour. 94-95 est. time

Assisted the Flag World Tour everytime they came to Dallas on possible prospects. Assisted in closing an L-11 package on one Kay Proctor by telling her my success on L-11.

Became OT Committee Chairman in 1994-1996 and ran the most successful recovery program and got more students back on lines than any other OT committee in Dallas. Sponsored seminars with speakers like Jim Kalergis. These events were attended by 50-60 people and books and services were sold because of these seminars. These seminars are still taking place today by my replacement Hildegard Jessup as the OT committee chairman.

Our OT committee put on the most successful fund raising auction dinner for Jerry Boswell who runs the CCHR chapter in Austin Texas this occured in 1996. Our program was so successful that Houston and Austin did the same activity and the dinner is still going on every year and raising more money for CCHR Austin. The Dallas auction raised 15 – 18 thousand dollars. With Austin and Houston the total came to a estimated $35,000.

We personally donated over 2000.00 to CCHR Austin in 1996. We have continued donating funds in 1997 and 98. We have donated to the Clearwater CCHR chapter since we have moved here in November 1996.

In 1992 or 1993 a project was told to us at Flag to get an LRH autobiography published and we donated some 6500.00 to this project.

My wife finished paying for our Patron status in 92-93 and we have since continued donating when we can. We have put into the IAS an estimated 50-55 thousand.

Debra went to great extents to get a squirrel named Angie DeMarro, in 1992-93 off the level when Debra found that this terminal was back on 7 and at home auditing with confidential materials. Hy Levy can attest to this.

Since being in Clearwater November of 1996. Was a spokes person for the Church to the press regarding the Lisa McPherson situation.

Carol South, myself and another terminal took off from work and went to 3-4 TV stations to speak to the station manager or news manager on the Lisa McPherson story and to give them our side of the story.

Participated in March around police station.

Have offered my help to Andrea and Danielle several times to handle people with ARCX’s with WISE.

Have received Commandation Chit from President of WISE Int. at the most recent WISE Conference.

Wrote an article to the St. Pete times at the behest of OSA Brian Anderson regarding the proposed housing of the homeless in downtown and my article was published in the editorial section. I had two editorials published regarding our now defunct Mayor Rita Garvey.

Have told several people about my wins on the SNCC and have pushed people who work with us to get onto course. Got one Gregor Wisner who was a wog onto a course at the mission.


Gave a “What is Scientology” book to the guard at my bank First Union and he went into the Tampa org and started the Personal Integrity Course. 1999

Assisted Michelle Sledge in December of 1998 to get Tony Reid to finish his Lifetime or higher membership and I just last week donated $500.00 to help get books out on the effects of drugs on kids after the Colorado shooting.

After finishing the SNCC part 1 in Jan or Feb of 1999 I started the Hubbard Ethics Specialists course some 30 days later and was on it until recently. April 1999

Routed a doctor from our billing service to Valko Personnel Services for Life Repair in 1997-98

Have mendened ARCX’s between Scientologists since being here. One in particular was an upset that was between Delphi and the Comm Line Newspaper. Both Sandy Adair and Sally Heath can attest to this.

Assisted in getting Dr. Bob Neuwirth from Dallas to Flag for his OT levels 1995-96

Have routed other doctors to Ruth Valko for Life Repair in the past two years. One doctor Richard Lutz and Dr. Wilbeck.

Donated a picture from Author Services to the auction to raise money for the community services program that is put on by Scientology. Eve Witter can attest to this. 1998

Have donated computers and other equipment to Delphi on an ongoing basis. 1997-1999

Have been wearing one of the hats for call in for the Concern Business Association meetings

More to come...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 26, 2009, 06:59:26 PM
                                        Knowledge Report                                          re: misapplication of standard Scientology policies
June 17, 1999

——C/S International
——ED Int
——LRH Comm Int
——HAS Sandcastle
——Public MAA-Causma
——Public MAA- April Buchanan
——Auditor Terese Blum

Greg Barnes- Flag Public

Knowledge Report

Public MAA- Causma
Public MAA- April Buchanan
Auditor Terese Blum

On May 8th after being denied a change of auditor and C/S I was taken back to Terese Blum’s auditing room. Terese informed me that she was going to do a FPRD correction list and she put the cans in my hands. I told Terese that I had told the D of P Valerie that I had had only 5 hours of sleep and that to do a correction list was squirrel and I refused to let her do the action. This violates HCOB of 19 June 1980 The Auditors Code point 5.

After being routed to ethics because I was not cooperative Terese Blum began what she called the ethics interview with the repetitive command “What overt has been restimulated” . This is a non-standard listing question which violates HCOB 17 March 1974 Two -Way comm, Using Wrong Questions and violates HCOB 19 June 1980 The Auditors Code point 3 – I promise to administer only standard tech to a preclear in the standard way.

During the day after putting the cans down several times after being asked repetitively the “What overt has been restimulated” by Terese Blum and April Buchanan I was restrained from leaving by Terese Blum by her physically blocking the door and trying to physically escort me back into my chair. At one point April Buchanan, Terese Blum and Causuma all three block the door and tried to physically stop me from leaving.

The above mentioned act violates HCOPL of 13 July 1981 Ethics: Freedoms and Barriers where LRH states “Any effort to hold a person against his will deprives him of his power of choice and reduces his self- determinism. Return of self-determinism to the individual is one of the means by which the goal of Scientology is accomplished. Interference with the determinism of any staff member, student or ethics case by use of any form of force is forbidden. The class of offense under which such attempts may fall is covered in the HCO PLs referenced above under the “Crimes” and “High Crimes.”

LRH also states “Furthermore, holding someone against his will, threats of use of force to do injury to another, infliction of injury to another, wrongful or forceful entry upon the property of another and unauthorized confinement or restriction of liberty are violations of both Civil and Criminal codes.”
I was stopped from leaving for some two hours and threatened by Public MAA Causma with a non-enturbulation order if I did not cooperate and continue the squirrel process. Terese Blum at one point said ” I know you want to hit me so go ahead”.

LRH states in HCOPL Ethics: Freedoms and Barriers “No Student, staff member or any public individual on any Scientology org line may be detained against his or her will under any circumstance whatsoever.”
A more detailed account of what occurred on that day and what lead me to request another auditor and C/S is attached.

Knowledge Report about the Public Ethics Officer spreading false information to the Barnes’ friends.
—-C/S International
—-ED International
—-LRH Comm Int
—-HAS Sandcastle
—-Public MAA April Buchanan

Greg Barnes – Flag Public
Knowledge Report
Public MAA – April Buchanan

April Buchana has been calling up Debra and Greg Barnes personal friends and showing them a bill of particulars that has yet to be proven true as well as a K/R written by April Buchanan on Greg and Debra Barnes and Virginia McClaughry. The K/R written by April was partially withdrawn by April in that it contained opinion but it is not withdrawn in the report that she is showing others.

April’s procurring of our friends and the showing of a bill of particulars violates HCOPL 7 December 1969 The Ethics Officer, His Character – “An E/O should never discuss staff members who are merely under investigation or act in a way to 3rd party people. An E/O gets the facts and then acts.”

On or about the middle of May April Buchanan public MAA Sandcastle showed to Larry Geis a friend of ours from Dallas Texas who was here for his six month check our bill of particulars and other K/R’s on us. Larry Geis is not involved with this comm ev or even a witness. Larry then went to David and Bennetta Slaughter and told them to go see this bill of particulars and they in turn told Jeff and Sherly Schaffner and Craig Burton who in turn told one Brenda Spencer to go see the bill of particulars.

April’s actions are covered in HCOPL 25 August 1969 Third Party Investigations. “3RD Party = False Report, Anyone that went into agreement with him carried it forward, usually believing it to be true.” April’s actions also violated HCOPL 16 May 1980 Ethics Suppressive Acts Suppression of Scientology and Scientologists specifically “engaging in malicious rumor-mongering to destroy the authority or repute of one’s fellows” also “outright or covert acts knowlingly designed to impede or destroy Scientology or Scientologists is what is meant by Acts of Suppressive of Scientology or Scientologists.”

I confronted April Buchanan on the phone as to why she had shown our friends the bill of particulars since she knew that the recommendation and findings were not out yet and she stated “people are calling me and asking to see it”. This statement is false since Larry Geis did not even know of its existence till April Buchanan showed it to him and he told others. April also called on Steve and Pam Hackley and she tried to tell Pam Hackley over the phone and Pam told her she did not want to hear it. Steve Hackley a long time friend of mine who is on OT7 went down to see the bill of particulars and now he won’t let his 9 year old son even go to the movies with my 8 year old.


A person who I have known since 1979 wrote me a comm stating ” I am aware of your situation/cycle with our church. I read the bill of particulars at the Sandcastle MAA office last week. I am not interested in any verbal or written comm from you or Debra until you handle your ethics situation scene with the appropriate terminals at Flag” – This comm came from one Craig Burton.

Two of our closest friends Jeff and Sheryl Schaffner would not even write up what they had been told or shown by April to IJC as I had asked. Jeff told me ” I do not want to get into the middle of a war.”

April’s actions are right out of HCOPL 21 November 1972 PR Series 18 ” How to Handle Black Propaganda rumors and whispering campaigns” “He counts on utterances being picked up or distorted and passed on by the base people in the society.” “This is Black Progaganda. It is intended to reduce a real or imagined enemy, hurt his income and deny him friends and support”.

April’s actions of calling individuals known to us who have nothing to do with this comm ev or any of the points in the bill or particulars also comes right out of HCOPL 9 June 1975 PR Series 27 “The Enemy Line” – “When there is a concerted short or long term campaign going on against someone or something from a single or multiple source, there has been a black PR agreement as to what to say about that someone or something.”

April’s statement to me that “people are just calling her about the bill of particulars” can also be proven false by the report by one Ed Sharp who wrote a Things that shouldn’t Be because the receptionist at the MAA’s office (Jessica Greenwood) told her parents Derek and Rose Greenwood that we had not shown up for the comm ev and that Debra Barnes had refused to go in for a sec check on her 6 month check – both false statements made by Jessica. Ed Sharp was called by April Buchanan and told that he could come down to the MAA’s office to read the bill of particulars. April told Ed it was not for general public issue but mainly for AO public.

Dereck Greenwood is a public and is partners in a software company with one Julie Lee who then calls one of my contractors Tony Reid and tells him that she heard from Dereck Greenwood about our ethics situation and then offered Tony a job. The spreading of rumors is still another example of the Black PR campaign being supported by HCO terminal April Buchanan. I also faxed to the CJC at Flag that this was going on and heard nothing back from them.

April’s actions also violate HCOPL 16 May 1980 Issue II Ethics-Suppressive Acts – Suppression of Scientology and Scientologists” LRH states under Injustice:

“It must be remembered at all times that Justice must include a refusal to accept any report not substantiated by actual, independant data, seeing that all such reports are investigated and that all investigations include confronting the accused with the accusation and where feasible the accuser BEFORE any action is decided upon or taken. This is the primary breakdown of any justice system-that it acts on false reports, dicisplines before substantiation and fails to confront an accused with the report and his accuser before any discipline is assigned, or which does not weigh the value of a person in general against the alleged crime even when proven.”

In Ethics Officer , His Character LRH states “An E/O can be used by an SP (with false reports or stupid orders) to needle and hurt a group. The duty of the E/O is plain. FOLLOW POLICY.”

April’s showing of a bill of particulars which has no IA or specifics or any verifcation of truth is in violation of policy especially HCOPL False Reports. April actions are also violations of the HCOPL 16 May 1980 Ethics – Suppressive Acts -”Outright or covert acts knowlingly designed to impede or destroy Scientology or Scientologists is what is meant by Acts of Suppressive or Scientology or Scientologists”.

April’s showing of the bill of particulars but conveniently leaving out our responses to the charges as well as the fact that she denied us all copies of K/R’s as well as the HCO Dir of I & R denied us a copy of the Bill of Particulars which violates HCOPL Committee of Evidence. As LRH states in HCOPL 3 September 1980 Out of Sequence “Omitted data runs a close second to Out- of – Sequence as the most common outpoint.” As LRH states in HCOPL 19 Sept 1970 Data Series 18 Summary of Out-points “injustice is usually a wrong target out-point.”

LRH states in HCOPL 27 March 1965 “The Justice of Scientology its use and purpose being a Scientologist” “Nobody can be suspended or punished by the convening of a Committee of Evidence. It’s there to find the truth.” April’s actions of showing the bill of particulars to our friends and others at the Sandcastle violates this HCOPL. As LRH states in this HCOPL “some are guilty most are innocent.” “If a person is to keep the law, he or she must know what the law is. And must be protected from viciousness and caprice in the name of the law. If a person doesn’t keep the law knowing well what it is he or she hurts all of us an should be handled.”

As LRH states in HCOPL 1 July 1968 Warning Signs – “#2 An area which issues false reports can be considered to have had its ethics pass over the cliff way way back. This should be pounced on fast fast fast.” April’s showing to others this bill of particulars violates this HCOPL in that the Bill of Particulars violates HCOPL How to write an Ethics Order in that it contains generalities and false reports that can be disproven.

Letter to Scientology’s Ben Shaw, Director of the Office of Special Affairs (”OSA”)
July 5, 1999
Dear Ben,

It has been almost a month since you and I have been in communication about this cycle. In my original letter to you I stated that we wanted to see what reports were written on us and to answer these reports and get to the truth. So far nothing has happened administratively, to correct one of the squirellest events that we have ever experienced in Scientology, not to mention that it occurred at Flag.

If you and Kathy True have done something we(the interested parties) know nothing of what you have done.

Case in point no reports have been shown to us that would warrant any of the activities taken by Therese Blum,April Buchanan, Causuma,Haveva or Julia the receptionist of the Sandcastle MAA’s office. You mentioned to me that these individuals are not out to hurt us and that they were working off of some serious reports. What type of serious reports would warrant a Black PR campaign and squirrel processes run on two OT’s? (Greg Barnes, Virginia McClaughry)

You and Kathy both state that what was done was not Scientology and the four of us agree on that point. You and Kathy both state that you are investigating the scene but yet we are asked no questions about any of the events that occurred nor are we shown any of the “serious reports” that you spoke of on the phone to me on Friday night. Why don’t you simply apply LRH to the K/R’s written on us and let us respond?? It is only with the application of LRH administrative tech can this situation be truly sorted out. We want to see these serious reports!!!

All of the parties who have been mishandled are willing to answer any question asked of them and to respond to any report written on them but no questions or reports have been provided. Why?

I do appreciate your willingness to help and you have calmed a situation down but what has been resolved???? What I perceive is that we are all still under investigation and could someone just be honest enough to tell us why???

Until the truth is known to us on who ordered the squirrel handlings and the Black PR campaign put out by the MAA’s at the Sandcastle and all the reports are handled per how LRH states they are to be handled and the comm ev canceled and the non-enturbulation orders canceled and our names cleared and truth put on the line nothing is going to as-is for anybody.

When you are ready to sit down to go over the reports call me and we will arrange a time for all of us to meet that is step number 1 per LRH so let’s apply LRH, we will all win that way.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 02, 2009, 05:50:10 PM
Scientology’s Letter in Response
Greg and Debra Barnes
Clearwater, FL 33756

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Barnes:

We are in receipt of your request of a return of your donations to the IAS.

The rules of the IAS clearly state that contributions are not refundable. This rule is set forth on the IAS membership and donation forms. You acknowledged your understanding of this policy when you signed these forms.

Please advise if you have further informationregarding this matter you would like me to consider.


Lise Cohee
Legal Affairs Director
IAS Administrations on behalf of the IAS

Well, it seems that Greg and Debra did, indeed, have some further information they wanted Lise to consider, so they wrote her back the following letter:

From Greg and Debra Barnes

June 5, 2000

Dear Lise,

We certainly do have further information for you to consider it is where to start, is the problem.

First of all the IAS is an enforced membership that if anyone is to do services as long as we did and went as “OT” as we did you have to become members. The additional donations are harassed out of you with alarming tales of the tech being “attacked” or needed “publications” to alert the populace of the dangers of what ever the flavor of the month dangerous environment you guys dream up is.

We gave to your organization based upon the false reports by your representatives of the German Scientologists being persecuted by ex-Nazi Psychiatrists, when in actuality according to all the German Scientologists I spoke with at the Sand Castle, it was the financial irregularities and out 2-D activities of org executives in Germany as well as poor results, that created the attacks, which your representatives failed to mention conveniently.

We gave to your organization without knowing that RTC was rewriting LRH technical bulletins and his basic books which lower ones ability to obtain power and the results LRH speaks of. I gave to your organization without knowing of the criminal actions being perpetrated on Scientologists and ex not to mention the general public in which millions were spent, and are still being spent, defending your criminal actions in which you lose the cases. (specifically Mr. Hill in Canada and Bonnie Woods in England to name a few)

We gave to your organization without knowing of Fair Game still being practiced by the GO…oops we meant OSA. We gave to your organization without knowing that Mike Rinder’s opinion of spiritual sustenance was holding my friend down and forcing a concoction of illegally obtained drugs down her throat. Evidently you guys found some other lost tech that we did not know about.

We gave to your organization and attended the Patron Balls because we believed in your stated goals of “support and protect the Scientology religion and Scientologists in all Parts of the world so as to achieve the Aims of Scientology as originated by L. Ron Hubbard”.

Never in our wildest dreams did we ever think that we would be on the receiving end of your “Fair Game” and “Black PR” tactics. Never did we think or even vaguely consider that you would hold me against my will at the Sandcastle whilst one of your “Golden Age of Tech” auditor of the year award winning auditors would perform squirrel processes in an attempt to create a psychotic break and when that failed your organization turned on its “Fair Game” machine. Did I fail to mention the C/S was the deputy Senior C/S FSO. We did not see the “support and protect Scientologists” hat being worn here.

The fact that orgs in Germany, France, Russia and Spain are on life support and the fact that the “Church of Scientology” is on the way out in Europe is evidence of your hat not being worn regarding protecting Scientology. Some how I do not think that LRH envisioned your actions or inaction as the ” Aims of Scientology” he was talking about… I could be wrong there though. Oh, did I forget about you being kicked out of Greece and your charitable status being laughed out of England, in other words denied.

Regarding the Scientologists in France, Germany and Italy who went to jail for fraud and other interesting crimes did you protect them by bribing the prison guards to give them extra rations of cigarettes or was the CSW for a grant to help them denied because the funds were needed for attorneys else where.

Need we go one with the total disdain and contempt that we have for the despicable con job you are perpetrating on the Scientology public? I think maybe you got our point but if not please do not hesitate to write back and I will give you more.

J would think that an organization of such an “ethical purity” with such a crusade for “Total Freedom” would be insulted to want to keep the money of such people who think of you as we do. I would think that you would be glad to be free of the funds we gave you and wash your pure hands of our despicable association.

Well we think that we have given you enough to consider and we do hope that you will be sickened by the thought of holding onto dirty money such as ours.

Oh we will give you back the Patron Pin and Plaques upon receipt of our funds but the photos that were taken of us at the “Balls” we will keep.


Greg and Debra Barnes

P.S. I do not think that Loretta Miscavige had to write to you when you gave back her $40,OOO…oops…I guess no one was suppose to know that… well that is the story we were told.

This communication did seem to have an effect. This is the letter Greg and Debra received in response:

3 July 2000

Greg and Debra Barnes
Clearwater, FL 33756

Dear Mr & Mrs Barnes:

We are in receipt of your letter of June 13th, 2000. We find your allegations to be totally unfounded, nonetheless, and while under no legal obligation to make any refund of your donations, the IAS has decided, upon review of your letter and your clear indication that you no longer desire to be a member of the IAS, to return to you the donations you made.

Please find enclosed a Release and Waiver for your signatures. The Association will, upon receipt of the executed Release and Waiver, forward to you a cashier’s check in the amount of $40,660 being equal to all the donations you made to the IAS, and will cancel your memberships in the Association.


Lise Cohee
Legal Affairs Director IAS Administrations on behalf of the IAS

The Barnes sent their release and waiver in and in return they received the following letter with a check for $40,660 enclosed:

26 July 2000
Greg & Debra Barnes

Clearwater, FL 33756

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Barnes,

Find enclosed a check in the amount of $40,660 being the return of all the donations you made to the International Association of Scientologists in your name and on behalf of your family.


Lise Cohee
Legal Affairs Director IAS Administrations on behalf of the IAS
Release and Waiver
We, GREG and DEBRA BARNES herewith declare the following:

That we have made non-refundable donations to the International Association of Scientologists (”IAS”) in the amount of US$ 40,660. With the receipt of a return of that amount, being all funds ever donated by us to the IAS on our behalf and on behalf of our children, we waive all claims and rights against the IAS. All our claims against the IAS are settled for any legal reason with the receipt of the above sum.

That we, our heirs, our successors, representatives, agents, employees, attorneys and assigns release and forever discharge the International Association of Scientologists, IAS Administrations, and their respective successors, agents, officers, directors, divisions, shareholders, trustees, fundraisers and employees from any and all claims, damages, causes of action of any kind which we now have or may hereafter have, from the beginning of time, to and including the effective date of this release.

That we understand that the term “any and all claims” as used above, means and includes, but is not limited to, all claims of any kind, whether known or unknown, anticipated or unanticipated, past or present, contingent or fixed. We agree that the term “any and all claims” shall be interpreted liberally and as sufficiently comprehensive so that this agreement precludes any and all disputes, litigation or controversy brought by the undersigned.

That we have resigned our memberships and those of our children in the IAS.

That we are signing this Release and Waiver on our own free will and decision.

That we have read this Release and Waiver and understand completely each of its conditions and stipulations.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 02, 2009, 05:51:46 PM
The flood of Real stories is happening.
Here is another...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 02, 2009, 07:43:25 PM
               Trapped in Pacific Base - Chapter 1

So there I was. Staff at AOLA. A far cry from my previous post titles, but still respectable, still Sea Org, still one of the "elite of Planet Earth". I wore the white shirts and grey pants of a military-esque uniform. I had only two complete uniforms, making getting through the week rather challenging. I learned a number of tricks (such as table salt, mixed heavily with water, applied to the armpit regions of my shirts to prevent odor) to allow my precious two changes of uniform to get me through the week.

I was a good Scilon! In my post, day to day, I helped Scientology to the tune of millions of dollars. But every so often, the stress of the 12+ hour days would get to me. The rush, the deadlines, the overwhelming piles of paper, the crushing pressure would get to me.

I was too young to vote. I was too young to legally smoke the cartons cigarettes I chain-smoked and had no trouble obtaining. I had no idea what the "real world" was, being transplanted from my parent's care directly to the Sea Org. I thought I had the answer to life, the universe, and everything, and that, armed with "the tech" I could save the world from its own collapse, and build a world of peace, love, and happiness. It was an intoxicating formula; I was arrogant and on top of the world.

But then, every so often, the pressure of it all would get to be too much. And then I'd go see Tasha. She was my lifeline. She was this cute, 30-something gal with a winning smile and excellent figure. She was way too mature for me, but not so much that I had any trouble noticing what a beautiful woman she was. (Hey, guys are guys!) But that's not why I loved Tasha, that was merely icing on the cake. I loved her because I quickly found that she was the only person who I could really, really talk to.

See, in the Sea Org, there's a culture of being "tough". Everybody read the policies about how "many are called, and few are chosen". Most people can't hack it, being in the Sea Org is tough, and everybody pretty much wore that on their shoulder. Being nice was for the weak. But, even though everybody has to "play tough" while on staff, the truth is that we are all just human. And those who don't find somebody to confide this weakness to, usually don't last.

Tasha was my confidant. I could talk to her, I could cry, I could vent my frustration and despair, and she would listen. I tried as hard as I could to do the right things, to follow policy, and to make life better for everybody, but it's not easy. So, every month or so, when it all got to be too much, when I just couldn't take it anymore, when I just needed to unload, I sought Tasha out, and let her know that I needed to talk to her.

She was an ethics officer, it was her post to deal with the ethics and performance of staff members, so of course, she would never deny me. Even though I felt a very personal connection to her, I was also a stat to her! It was a win-win relationship. And once the door closed, once I knew that it was just her and me, the tears would roll, the sobs would splash, and it would all come out. It was cleansing, therapeutic, letting all the stress out in this torrential flood!

And invariably, she would note that I was young, working my very, very best, and would write up a commendation chit to my seniors, noting several good things that I had actually accomplished, and it would feel relieved, cleansed, and ready to "do it again" for another few weeks or so.

In retrospect, I hope she knew just how much I depended on her. I loved her. But then, she left, and thus began my fall from grace.

I mean, I'm tough, right? I'm an eternal being, billions of years old, and I can take it. I can work my ass off for 12+ hours per day with no end in sight, to then be yelled at for some minor transgression, and know that I'm doing this to save the world.


And it worked, for a while. For a few months, I held my composure firm. I was a tough, OT, a Sea Org member. But as the time wore on, and as the days began to blur together, my view of the world became increasingly gray and foggy. Rather than really care about what I did, it became just something I did. My slapstick sense of humor quieted down. I no longer leaped down the stairwells from landing to landing, choosing instead to simply step down them.

Yes, my stats were good, in a power trend, no less. (for those who don't know, that's as good as it gets!) I routinely got half-day libs on Sundays. My seniors loved me. But I was slowly dying inside, and I was actually well aware of it. I knew that I needed Tasha, and I knew that she was gone, and I knew that I was decaying from within. And because merely confessing that fact would most likely result in my being severely reprehended or even RPFd, I kept my mouth shut. I said nothing, and I tried to stick it out, hoping some other option would appear.

Until that fateful day.

I woke up, staring at the springs of the 3rd bunk above my 2nd level bunk in my male berthing room Lebanon Hall, and I knew it was time for morning muster. I should have been in a hurry to put on the cleaner of my two shirts and be out the door in a flash, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to go in today. There was no point, no reason, no desire to go in.

It was a strange sense of disconnection that I felt. I can honestly say in retrospect that I had simply "run out" of emotions. I had no more emotion energy left to burn. It takes emotion of some kind to motivate you to do anything at all, and I had simply run out. And I wasn't going to go into muster. Not today. Not because I hated it or disliked it or anything - I just didn't care anymore. It was like I sort of snapped, and suddenly, I was a different person. With different cares, feeling, everything.

So I laid there on my 2nd tier bunk and waited, until about the time that staff muster was over. It was about 10 minutes longs. I knew that my senior would be coming to my berthing, to see what was up. He would have already been upbraided for my absence, he would want to know where I was, one of his favorites. He would want to at least appear to care about me, since a big part of his good fortune was my doing.

So I rolled out of my Lebanon Hall berthing, throwing on some civies, and headed out to the fire escape, at the end of the hall. The door to the fire escape on the 5th floor was always open, in retrospect, I can't even remember if it could be closed. So I walked out on to the fire escape with a fiction book from the staff book exchange, and sat down, out of view of the hallway but in earshot of my room, and waited for them to appear.

And within a few minutes, they did. My senior (who, for anonymity's sake will remain un-named) appeared with a Pac Base Crew security guard (who had the master keys to the rooms) and knocked loudly on my door, calling my name. After several attempts, I could hear them entering my room, then leaving a few moments later, commenting on my absence.

"It's not like him, What's going on with ___?", I remember hearing my senior say. And I really, truly, didn't care. After waiting to hear them enter the elevator, and waiting another minute or two, I headed back to my room and continued reading my book for another half hour or so, before heading to breakfast.

Breakfast was served all morning long by the Pac Base Crew. The Main Mess was something like a school cafeteria. They had a half dozen or so large trays of food available. You lined up, and served food to yourself, usually a plate on a cheap fiberglass tray. They had a number of rotations of orgs, as there are many in the Pacific Complex, so breakfast was pretty much continuously served from 7:00 AM to 10:00 AM or so. There was an hour or so of cleanup before they started the lunch round, and so on. They didn't keep track of who is what or where, there were no tickets. It's all pretty much on the honor system.

So, if I simply walked in to the main mess as if I belonged there, got a tray, and fed myself, nobody said a word. The assumption was that if I didn't belong there, somebody would say something. And those who knew anything about me were busy in the org with their morning stat analysis and battle plans for the day, so nobody said anything.

And nobody bothered me, and I had a nice, slow breakfast of runny eggs, yogurt, coffee, and granola with a slice of overcooked bacon, which is pretty much what they served every morning. And then, the question: what would I do with my day?

I had perhaps $10 or so to my name. I had time, so much time, an entire day. What seemed to me an unbelievable, almost unlimited amount of time!

I decided to go to the Beach. A bus ticket is cheap in Los Angeles, and is good for as long as you stay on the bus. So buying a ticket (I think it was a $1.25 or so back then) on Santa Monica Blvd would let me stay, all the way to the beach.

And that's what I did. I wore shorts and a T-shirt, and finished my book on the long ride to Santa Monica Beach. And there, I sat in bars, listening to the live music. I argued philosophy with complete strangers. It seemed almost cleansing to take my Scientologist hat completely off, and just be... anonymous. Some guy, that nobody knew, but who was friendly and like to chitchat.

I made several pseudo-friends that day. People I knew I'd never meet again, but who I hung around with for the day. It was nice to be "friends". I never told a soul that I had anything to do with Scientology.

Being a minor, I was finally evicted from the bar I was in at around 7:00 or so, and ended up outside. I wasn't ready to go back, so I hung around the wharf, watching a pantomime for a long, long time. When he finally left, having blown horse-balloons for countless children, the busses weren't running any more, so I found a bridge a mile or so away and slept on a piece of cardboard underneath it.

Now one of the homeless, I fit right in.

The next morning, hungry, I spent my last $1.25 and got on the Santa Monica bus to head for the compound. I had blown my post for a day. I knew there would be hell to pay. And for some reason, that fact actually didn't bother me - it was well worth every minute of freedom I had enjoyed at the homeless-friendly Santa Monica Beach.

When I got back, around 9:30 AM, breakfast was still being served by PBC. So I ate another fine breakfast, and headed into the org for my ethics handling. This time, by an ethics officer I knew would be far less agreeable than Tasha.

more to come...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 02, 2009, 08:21:07 PM
                 Trapped in Pacific Base - Chapter 2
I don't think English has a word for the feeling you get when you've done something really, really wrong and yet you just don't know why it's so big a deal. What do you call it when you've done something that others deem to be just horrible and you don't think it's a big deal?

I can't think of that word, because I'm not so sure it exists. But if there is such a word, it's the word that describes my feeling on mid-morning that day.

I knew I'd have to do lower conditions, that I'd have to work extra hours, and put out an embarrassing CSW and ask for re-entry into the group, my group, AOLA. And I'll be honest, I loved the people of AOLA. As I write this, I still do, even though I now consider them to be nuts.

But they weren't nuts then, the day I faced the MAA (ethics officer) at AOLA the day after my unapproved jaunt to the beach.

I got to read the conditions in the ethics book. Again. Of course, it wasn't *my* ethics book, it was obtained from somewhere. And once again, the irony hit me that perhaps the most stolen piece of property that exists while a staffer is a Scientology ethics book. I ended up with several; I never purchased one. I never cared to; when you are paid $20 per week, why would you purchase a $35 book that you can always find for free, somehow?

So there I was, reading an ethics book of unknown ownership. And I had to do my conditions, to write up the conditions, spending a page or two to answer questions like "Find out who you really are." and "Find out what you are." and "Decide on the basis of the 'greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics' who your friends are.". And, armed with stats that never wavered from their power trend, and having done them before, I mopped the floors outside my office, I stripped and waxed them, and numerous other things that were hard, unimportant, and intended to look good on the appeal I wrote a week later to have signed by a majority of the AOLA crew.

And here's the truth: when you are a guy in lowers, most staff are simply annoyed with having to read your stupid appeal (called a "CSW", see definition at the bottom) They have better things to do than read your summary of having cleaned ashtrays and steam-cleaned sidewalks at 2:00 AM. Some enjoy looking down their nose at you, and making sure that you all but donated a kidney for your transgression.

But you only need to have 51% approve your CSW to get back into good graces. So pick the low-lifes, the ones at the bottom of the org chart, whose opinion doesn't matter anyway, but who are flattered by the fact that you are begging for their approval. Know how many approvals you need in advance, and get that +1 before re-approaching your MAA.

And so, a week later, having had nothing change but having another 10 pages of ethics writeups and staff signatures in my ethics file, I was officially returned to good graces. Except that I wasn't. My senior now looked at me with a bit of wariness rather than confident pride. I had blown. I was known to be weak. It was as though others on staff looked at me as if I was doomed.

And I was. Tasha had been re-assigned, was no longer available, and I still had no outlet for the pain of being on staff. The decay inside was so strong that I, for the first time, did lower conditions without really caring what the result was. Ironically, it was the shortest and most easily passed lower conditions cycle I'd ever done. I was able to look at getting my signatures objectively, rather than emotionally, for the first time. I just ran the numbers, and did what it took to get them.

Somehow, the greatest technology of human spirituality, the most powerful technology ever devised to heal the human spirit, could do nothing for the simple fact that I was burning out.

And so, a few months later, I stared, once again, at the springs of the 3rd tier bunk above me, and realized that once again, I couldn't do it. I could not go in, I could not put in another 12 hour day, ignored in the smoke-stained walls of my large, executive office, going through reams of paperwork to sort, file, and summarize in another weekly report.

People are creatures of habit; when they find something successful, they tend to do it again. And so, once again, I waited until I knew staff muster was just about over, I once again grabbed the latest science fiction novel I was reading, I headed out to the fire escape, I waited until my senior (and his senior, this time) and the security guard came to my room, pounded, opened, found it empty, and left.

I've heard it described that when you take cocaine for the first time, it's the most incredible high you'll ever experience. And that no amount of cocaine thereafter will allow you to re-experience that same high. And so you take more and more, until you die from overdose.

I guess something like that was happening here, too. Because I once again went to the mess, I ate a nice, full, relaxed breakfast, and I once again spent the $10 or so going to the beach and hung out in bars making day-friends until my minor age made them kick me out. The mime was there, again!

But it wasn't the same. Somehow, the lovely Santa Monica beachfront just wasn't quite so lovely. Somehow, it didn't feel like quite so much time. It felt hurried; I knew it was going to end. I knew that I would go back on the morrow, and that when I did, it would just be more of the same.

The first time felt like forever, like when school let out in high school. But now, it felt brief, hurried, anxious. It felt like a copy of my previous experience. And, this was going to hurt when I got back, and I knew it, so it wasn't quite as fun.

And so, after a night spent sleeping among weeds next to a business park, at about 11:00 AM the following morning, belly full from my undisturbed late-morning breakfast in the main mess, it no longer mattered so much that my stats were up, that I had provided immense value to Scientology. I had established a pattern: I blow. And it was now a big deal. I was going to pay for this. My conditions wouldn't be so easy to get through, I would work harder to show my dedication to the cause.

And still, I had no way to center myself, I had no grounding rod for all the frustration and pain of being on staff. I could talk to nobody openly, the auditors' friendly and chatty conversational style was no friendlier than a military drilling, even though I, having done the same TRs that the auditor had, was perfectly capable of the friendly, chatty banter that was required.

I was doomed, and I knew it. And if I didn't find some way to do what I did with Tasha, even if only for a little while, with somebody I really trusted, I was sunk.

Suddenly, the truth of the 2D became clear. It was understood among staff that those who had spouses did much better than those who didn't. And now I truly understood why. Your spouse wouldn't rat you out if you cried on his/her shoulder. You could vent your pain, you could heal for a bit, so that you could go back to facing another day of hell on staff. And without that vent, the pressure would just build.

Sooner or later, the bottle would shatter, and the bottle was me.

* * *
CSW = "Completed Staff Work" - it's policy that when you ask for something, you only present a solution, never a problem. So any appeal or request in writing on staff must include a solution to whatever problem you're trying to solve. Your work is not "completed" until it includes a solution, thus "Completed Staff Work")

Ka Kan (sp?) = an ancient Chinese emperor granted immunity to his favored warriors. They were called "Ka Kan" meaning "untouchable". Somewhere, I don't remember where, Hubbard referred to this when staff were upstat.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 03, 2009, 08:44:41 AM
                           Trapped in Pacific Base                    

                                         Chapter 3

I was on the ground floor of AOLA, in the new Ethics Officer's office which was strangely located near the Division 6 area. (raw public) Usually, the ethics offices were on the 2nd floor.

The ethics officer was newly assigned, he appeared to be 20-something, and he immediately struck me as somebody who was very friendly and understanding. I was immediately greatly relieved as his assignment, finally, I was going to be able to get rid of the grey film that had somehow descended over my everyday existence. I preferred the sharp relief of engagement, but I was not engaged. It was like living my entire life wrapped in a perceptual condom, and it was not fun.

I asked for a meeting, made an appointment, and later that day, there I was, in a molded plastic chair on the blue shag carpet in his room.

I explained my situation, I tried to be open. Keeping it shut wasn't working for me; I was becoming desperate. I really, really wanted to save the world from aberration, I really, really wanted to be one of the elite of planet Earth, and I was desperately trying to figure out some way to make things work, to keep myself in line, to deal with the crazy levels of stress, paperwork, and pressure of life on staff. A world without insanity, criminality, and war was the the most important thing in the world to me. I was willing to die for it, if necessary, if only I could get through tomorrow!

There's an interesting phenomenon that goes on as you relate to other people. The more time and communication you have with another person, the less the importance of each individual experience. There's a sort of "inertia" that you develop as you deal with other people over time... When you are dealing with an old friend you've known for years who is acting crazy at this exact moment, you tend to write it off as "just a mood" because you have years of experience to judge the person on.

But when it's somebody new, somebody you have no history with, every single word becomes highly important. You have nothing else to judge them with! A single phrase can be something you lock into, it's something that defines a very significant part of your relationship with that new person.

So there's a distortion that occurs when you are dealing with new people; you have to be very careful how you present yourself to new people while you build up the relationship history that lets them know they can trust you, even though you might get into a mood from time to time.

This is a lesson I learned from this conversation with this new ethics officer. Because, I made the mistake of unloading all my fears, all my worries, my frustrations on this poor gentleman, because he seemed to me to be approachable. And for whatever reason, he didn't hear any of the many things I said except a phrase something like "I don't think I can make this work if I can't figure this out".

He decided to interpret this to mean that I would purposefully destroy things if I didn't get my way. He let me know that I had "evil purposes" and that he would be investigating me.

Suddenly, I clammed up. The blood ran from my face, my throat choked up and instantly refused to speak. Despite his friendly demeanor, this was no friend. Rather than help me solve this problem, he was going to "stick it to me". It didn't matter how much effort I'd put in thus far, or how well I'd done while on staff, despite all the policies stating otherwise.

His vision of "helping me" was analogous to stretching me out on the rack, screaming and writhing in pain all the way. I knew the type - they were everywhere while on staff. But he seemed so open! But he wasn't. He wasn't there to help me, he was there to attack me as part of 'getting things done'. He would count me as one of the SPs removed from staff, and my pain would simply be considered proof of my degredation.

And it was then that I knew it was over. At that moment, in that chair, facing the faux wood desk, I knew I had to leave, but I didn't state it right then. It was a hard decision to make, to leave a group you believe in with all your heart, that you'd die for if you had the chance, but the alternative is utter, personal failure, so the choice was clear.

But if I said it right then, I'd be validating this smug bastard, and I wasn't going to do that. So I kept my mouth shut, I mumbled my way through the remainder of the meeting, spat out a few buzzwords about "making it go right" and "refusing to dramatize case" and left the room. Quickly.

But a few weeks later, I went to the HCO Area Secretary, and announced that I wanted to route off staff. After a half day of them trying to convince me otherwise, and a few more days writing up my crimes against humanity, and more importantly, Scientology, I was officially put on an "ethics cycle", I was informed that I was not to tell other staff that I was leaving, instead to say that I was undergoing an "ethics cycle", and report to the Director of Tech to arrange for my leaving staff Sec Check. (Basically, this is a lie detector test using their E-Meter to find out any crimes/sins I have against Scientology)

In retrospect, it strikes me as a conflict of policy: The Ethics doubt formula requires you to "Join or remain in or befriend the one which progresses toward the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics and announce the fact publicly to both sides.". Yet, having clearly made up my mind to NOT be a member of staff, I'm required to STFU and not tell any other staff that I'm leaving! But if I was a member of, say, the American Psychiatry Foundation, I'd be asked to go out of my way to write a personal letter to all members announcing my intention to leave. Why does it work one way, but not the other? I thought these ethics conditions were supposed to be "universal truths" about the operation of the universe?

So anyway, I was still staff, but being in lower conditions, I was assigned 1/4 of normal staff pay. As I recall, this was about $8/week. I'd have to cut back pretty sharply on my chain smoking.

I was assigned to the Director of Technology Services (DTS, the guy in charge of delivering auditing) of AOLA, to beg for the chance at getting some auditing so that I could leave.

And in the meantime, I was expected to work on whatever the DTS wanted me to do. He had vast amounts of typing he needed done, and I was a proficient typist. So, with no delay, DTS found a computer for me to type on, and all kinds of stuff to type up. Reports. Statements. Dictations. Letters to public. The amount of typing that a DTS at AOLA can find for a willing servant is all but infinite.

Every day, I would ask about progress finding an auditor who could do my several-hour auditing session. And every day, I would be dismissively told that he was working on it. Every day, the same routine. No change, at all.

In order to leave in good graces, I had to have this Sec-Check. It was part of the "Leaving Staff Routing Form" with Chuck Beatty's name at the bottom. (No, Chuck, if you are reading this, I don't blame you. At all.) And I was willing to sit there, and confess my crimes, because, in all honesty, there wasn't anything I'd done wrong other than take a few unscheduled trips to the beach and sometimes skipping out on my "staff enhancement", which everybody did. But he wasn't really willing to invest these resources into letting me go.

And, why would he care about me? If he did what he was supposed to, I would disappear quickly, and I was quite valuable to him as a typist! And I was a zero-risk target - as somebody asking to leave, I had the status of a cockroach. So, he did nothing at all to let me go, despite me making it perfectly clear that I did not want to stay.

If I just left, I would be declared suppressive. As somebody who still believed, this was abhorrent. No way I wanted to be declared, to be disconnected from all my friends, my way of life, the things that mattered most to me! Yet, there was no way that I could determine that I was going to get my Sec-Check.

I was trapped. I couldn't leave. I couldn't stay. I believed in Scientology, I really wanted to save the world, but I couldn't hack it being on staff. I was hoping that I could leave, make some money, and buy my way up the bridge rather than do it as a staff member. I was told repeatedly what a deadbeat I was, how I was destined to fail, but it was clear that being a staff member wasn't working for me, so what choice did I have?

But I couldn't leave. The DTS wasn't getting me a Sec Check. Staying wasn't helping me any. Since I wanted to leave, I had no credibility, and so I had no ability to force the issue. Nobody wanted to talk to me. What was I to do?

Finally, after almost two months of begging for any kind of auditor, for any kind of progress on my Leaving Staff Routing Form (LSRF), I realized that this DTS offered me nothing at all. He wasn't going to get me in session, he had no motivation to do so, no intention to ever do it, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Going in and typing for another 12 hour day wasn't going to improve anything. But the policies on blowing were very clear: If I left, I was blown, and I would be declared SP. But if I didn't leave the base, I wasn't exactly "blown", because I was still there. There were policies about "blowing your post", but I wasn't, at that point, assigned to any post. I was officially in a ethics cycle, and so was "off post".

So I did the only thing I could do: nothing. Once again, thinking all this through, I stared at the springs of the third bunk above me, and realized that I wasn't going to go in and type more compliance reports for the DTS of AOLA, that there was no point. And, being a creature of habit, I waited until about the time that staff muster was going to complete, I grabbed my paperback book, I stepped out into the fire escape, and read my book, waiting for them to appear.

They did, again, as they had before, right on schedule. They knocked on the door. The security guard let them into my empty room. I waited until I heard them re-enter the lobby elevator, and for the door to close.

Having found a loophole in the Scientology policy, I had just become a ghost. And that's when my life as a vagabond in the belly of Scientology began.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 03, 2009, 08:46:48 AM
                                Tapped in Pacific Base

                                               Chapter 4

There's a curious culture of trust in Scientology. You are among friends, and anybody who presents the right "air" is immediately trusted, often called "esprit de corps". It's like a high-school gang, only there's no possible way that you could conceivably know everybody. So you subconsciously look for certain clues that let you know if you are among friends.

There are security doors, with card readers and key codes. To enter the secured areas, you must slide the card key and enter in the code. Everybody was briefed: don't let ANYBODY in, even if you personally know them - they might be a plant! They have to see security to get a card re-issued!

But the reality was very different: if you stood by the door, and looked like you confidently belonged, the next guy to come by would let you in. It happened to everyone: you left your card in your wallet in your room, your other pants, etc. And anybody who went through the hassle of getting a card re-issued (going through lower conditions, working "amends" after hours, getting everybody in your org to sign your stupid CSW for permission to get a security card, etc) never wanted to do it again.

So staff were pretty nice about letting you in, even if you didn't have a card and had no idea who you were if it looked like you belonged.

Scientology staff is a culture of exceptions. Scientologists are quick to believe that their stories are special cases, that they are handling entheta of incredible magnitude, or they're on a special missing to 'handle' some terrible evil.

So even though there's a strict schedule to follow, nobody bats an eye when it's obvious that you aren't following it, if you don't "look overty" - averted eyes, shrunken disposition, any look of anything other than gross defiance. You are probably on some "special" mission to solve some problem, and there's little point in bothering you, since you are probably pissing off somebody with int-level clearance, and who wants to mess with that?

For all their talk about "ruddy individualism", Scientology staff are impressively docile.

So with an air of defiance, smiling demeanor, and a casual air taught me by extensive TRs, I established a routine that I followed for several months, with nobody ever discovering me despite me living in close quarters with thousands of Scientologists.

Life as a staffer in PAC base was very rhythmic. Everybody woke up together, ate together, worked together, showered together. Orgs staggered their meal times and schedules, but the schedules were very dense and often overlapped.

As a non-staffer at PAC base, the lifestyle was all about living in the off-beats to the normal rhythm of each day. I avoided being present during any of the normal points of the day, eking out a lonely, quiet, somewhat pathetic existence during the times when nobody was around.

And these gaps in the daily schedule are huge. The point was to not be present at any time or place where you'd be expected. Nobody bothered to look at any other time!

The first matter was the obvious one: food. If I went in and ate along with the other staff members of my org, then I had to face the dreaded ethics officer or the other officers of the org (who all knew me well) and I would be brought in, yelled at, made to work, and other gruesome details.

Additionally, I would be made to eat beans and rice, rather than good food. Who wants to eat boiled, unflavored beans and rice? One thing about PAC base, is that the food was actually pretty decent, all things considered.

However, after each of the three meals, there was a period of time about 30-45 minutes or so before the cleaning crew (often EPF) came to clean everything up. If I showed up in that time window, I could get any food I desired from the smorgasboard-style food bar without fear of reprisal from any of the staff, since they were all at staff muster.

So I ate my meals in silence, alone in the large mess hall, eating slightly stale eggs, fruit yogurt, coffee and granola for breakfast, burgers and warm fries for lunch, steak and potatoes for dinner, while watching the cleanup crew do their thing. They never bothered me; I never bothered them.

Then came the next need: entertainment! Life in the underbelly of Scientology is terribly boring. And there's not much to be made in the way of money, so you can't buy entertainment. Televisions are all but non-existent, but books and radios are too cheap and ubiquitous to be gone.

I discovered that on the (4th? 5th?) floor of the Main Building, in the lobby, there was a staff book exchange. Basically, just a bunch of shelves made from some crappy boards and milk crates with used books strewn about casually. Somebody had drawn up a sign indicating that you were to leave as many books as you took. The selection was pretty good, lots of science fiction (always my favorite!) thrillers, and modern dramas. Although there were perhaps 100 - 200 titles available at any time, the turnover was intense - I'd see a very different set of books when I re-visited every few days.

I donated a few of my own personal selection, including the entire series of the much-coveted-among-staffers, expensive "Mission Earth" hardbound books that I never saw again. It was a small price to pay, since I was bored out of my mind.

Maybe I was a horribly out-ethics dirtbag, wishing damnation for all of Earth for wanting to leave Scientology, but I wasn't going to be dishonest at the staff library!

I had a pair of headphones that I kept plugged into my AM/FM alarm radio, and listened to KROQ talk radio at night. "Loveline" with Dr. Drew and "the poor-man" was my favorite show - always entertaining!

Laundry: This is perhaps an area that I still, to this day, find the most interesting.

Staffers at PAC had a pretty demanding schedule: work every single day from about 8:00 AM until 10:00 PM, with Sunday morning off to take care of personal stuff. Sunday morning was "libs". Yes, "libs" was rarely a full day, unless you asked for it AND your 3-week graph was up. And people who asked for full days were typically resented, so you didn't do it very often.

Staffers all tried different strategies to get around the fact that libs was just a half day. Some stayed up late on Saturday night, renting videos and watching them either in the mess hall or in the AOLA front lobby. (which had a projection TV/VCR normally used to play Scientology event videos to public) Other staffers woke up early on Sunday to get a near-full day's time in before showing up for duty at 1:00, after lunch.

There was a staff laundry room that was available for use any time, any day. It was unmonitored, at the back of the compound above the diesel generators and the utility rooms, and you put quarters in the machines to make them go.

So in effect, between the end of day on Saturday (10:00 PM) and early Sunday afternoon, you had some thousand or so people trying to get their laundry done in a small laundry room with perhaps 25 washers and 25 dryers. That it could be done at all is a testament to the determination of the staff! It was chaotic. You carefully tracked the 25 minutes it took to run a load of wash, because laundry that sat for long was pulled out and piled in a corner someplace, hopefully on a bag or something so it wasn't just sitting on the dirty floor.

In any event, on Sunday, mid-afternoon, the laundry room was empty of people, and full of garbage. Other man's trash... my treasure!

I got laundry soap by going through the mostly-empty boxes and pouring them together. Surprisingly, I never had a problem with the "mystery soap". At first, I half-expected the laundry to react chemically and "eat" my clothes, but it never happened.

Since there was almost always a few clothes left behind, it was my chance to try them and see if they fit. Since I was a common size, this is how I kept my wardrobe "fresh". For the sake of honesty, I left clothes on the shelf at the end for a day so that people had a chance to pick up their stuff. It was always completely gone by the end of the week; I just assumed that somebody was picking up the remainders and disposing of them.

But even more amazing: this is where I got my money! See with the mad rush of people trying to get their laundry through the machines, people dropped change, which often rolled under the laundry machines. And if you can imagine this swarm-fest, standing room only, with piles of laundry, garbage, and clothes everywhere, you can be sure that staffers didn't look too hard for that quarter.

With some 1,000 people in less than 24 hours, this change added up pretty quickly. Actual amounts varied, but often exceeded $10. This was enough to wash my laundry and buy cigarettes, the two economic staples of a staffer. (and enough money to visit the beach every so often, if I didn't spend much more than a bus ticket)

For comparison, normal staff pay was about $15 per week.

And finally, personal hygeine This is perhaps the only part that I never felt entirely comfortable with, which may be why I bring it up last. I never, ever had to buy soap or shampoo. I would use the showers mid-morning, after staffers had used them and they were empty, but hadn't been cleaned up yet. (which happened mid-late afternoon) I used the big shower stalls on the 6th and 7th floors of the Main Building.

My first step was to look for soap and shampoo. There were usually thin soap flakes and mostly-empty bottles of shampoo in the stalls. I had a soap container, so I'd smash the soap after rinsing them down and let them dry to make a cohesive bar. The shampoo I just poured into my shampoo bottle.

And then I showered! I bought my own razor blades at the drug store next to Barnsdall Park, but discovered that if I shaved while in the shower, the softened, wet hair didn't dull the blades much, and I could use a single razor for weeks before it became to dull to use.


I bought smokes using laundry machine money. Since I had more time than money, I rolled my own smokes to save money. I don't remember where I got the cigarette roller, but it was a nice one with a vinyl belt and sliding rollers.

Every so often, I paid a room-mate $5 for a hair cut. He had been a barber in his past life as a wog, and did a good job.

I don't know how or why, but even though AOLA considered me "blown", the PAC crew had confirmed that I was still staying in my berth, and wasn't "blown". So AOLA paid for my bunk, and nobody bothered to figure out what was actually going on. They all had their own stuff to worry about - who had time for me?

My bunk was never disturbed or re-assigned.

In this manner, I had plenty of good food to eat, and smokes. I had clean clothes that fit, and plenty of books to read. I was clean shaven, clean cut, and had clothes to wear. I never had any problem looking like I belonged.

Of course, I didn't belong. Slowly, over time, this became more and more clear to me. Months went by.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 04, 2009, 02:42:42 PM
 NOTE: Posting this, not as a tl;dr but I have heard from several new ex Scientologists recently that this letter, which has been on the internet since 2005 was one of the major reasons they felt they could leave the cult after going into doubt about their continuing participation. From what I understand they were already on the fence due to upsets and anomalies inside the cult.

This is not copyrighted
It can re-posted on other forums freely.

12 November 2005

Dear Scientologist,

I completed New OT8 in February 1990 after being in Scientology since
1973. During that period I was mainly "public" but did several years as
a staff member in Paris Org as Qual Sec. I trained up to be a C/S, FPRD
and Confessional auditor and solo auditor. I was a Scientology
celebrity as an international fine artist, creating beautiful paintings
of "visualized" music. Many Scientologists (thousands) knew me
personally from my art tours of orgs and missions in the early 1980s.
Samples of my art can be seen at Michael Pattinson's Photos- powered by SmugMug

Though you may read about how and why I actually left Scientology on
the internet (you would probably have to use a non-Scientologist's
computer, however) and see the data at
Michael Pattinson's Experiences in Scientology, MPES - View from the end of Scientology's the bridge to total freedom, I wanted to address a simple letter
of "Truth Revealed" to you here. After all, that is the very name of
the OT8 level.

As I read the lists of many Scientology staff names and addresses so
recently published on the world wide web I was filled with compassion at the fact of your commitmentand devotion to Scientology and its basic aims. I was also a proud
trooper for decades and was utterly convinced that Scientology was
really everything I read it was and heard it was. Peer agreement was also a strong re-enforcement of my convictions and myunrelenting in-KSW attitude that I applied very well despite itsometimes coming back at me with counter-emotions and counter-efforts.

Like you, I too have made things go right when things looked very
bleak. I, too have spent a lot of money on services and donations that
I really could not afford. I have done the "yo-yo" exercise and stood
and applauded and cheered LRH's photo over and over again at events.

Like you I have also held back the tears of protest and dismay when
"handlings" went wrong or were off-target and waited endless
frustrating hours in waiting rooms for folders, C/s"s and D of P
interviews. I have, maybe like yourself, had serious doubts as to the
unexplainable mysterious "outnesses" in the Scientology lines and
terminals that seemed to be so quickly smothered, hurried away or
blanket-defined as "entheta". I quietly "wondered" (but better not say
anything) at seeing the sudden painful hostilities towards and
upsetting disappearances of staff members, the sadness of the RPFers or
the black hole money pit my money got sucked into so fast.

I have also had the personal wins from auditing, feelings of group ARC
in the briefings and in courses in LRH tech, admin and ethics training,
though in retrospect I could wish that they had been as permanent as my
payments were to purchase them. I have also seen the F/Ns and the VGIs
from my pc's and (in cramming) auditors from applying tech. Without
those wins along the way I would never have made it all way up the
Bridge to New OT8, as you know. Going OT is an uphill battle all the

I have been in your position when my own ethics handlings went both
well or badly, when conditions were applied both to eventual wins and
to the strained "E.P" of satisfying the fixed ideas of tech or ethics
terminals who were aiming at a specific result I had to attain. I have
done conditions formulas till they were coming out of my ears, and tons
and tons of other ethics, tech and admin applications. I personally
knew the Flag Class 12 auditors from the Apollo as I trained with them
at Flag, I have known the Int Execs since they were teenagers, I have
personally known all LRH's children. I have known and frequented many
of the Scientology celebrities too.

I WENT ALL THE WAY UP THE BRIDGE (there is no available level above
New OT8).

What happened then is why I am writing this letter. I wish it was not
necessary to write this but it is. I firmly believe that Truth is a
friend to, and that lies are an enemy of survival. Yes, feel free to
investigate what I write about here...

It is truly heartbreaking for me to have to inform you that you have
been lied to, and not just in a small way. I am so, so sorry to have to
tell you this, but please bear with me.

You have been lied to regarding the "Bridge to Total Freedom" as it
does not arrive at Total Freedom. I know this because I have been there
and experienced it. OT8 is NOT Total Freedom, yet there is no more
Bridge to travel.

You may have wondered why OTs still behave in "strange" or weird ways
and still exhibit aberrated behaviors. They are on the big secret
missed withhold of not having received what LRH promised. Every non-OT
"misses" the withhold.

You have been lied to about O.T.powers. I will not go into any case
data or OT level data as it is not necessary, but I can tell you that
the advertised and promised O.T powers LRH writes about such as
telekinesis (moving objects as a thetan), perfect total recall, "clear"
of any and all aberrations, permanently Cause over Life, real-life
Cause over MEST, etc are NOT in reality delivered by Scientology (in my
direct experience and in that of many others).

You have been lied to about LRH's death, and the lies were criminally
false. The "story" about LRH deciding to causatively but regrettably
depart his body, go off to research further OT levels, etc. was very
likely a pack of lies. The coroner's report found a psychiatric drug
(Vistaril") in LRH's body after death as well as many needle marks. The
surrounding circumstances of LRH's death such as a very unkempt body,
changing his Will a day before he died, the hurried cremation, the
refusal of autopsy, all make for a very suspicious situation. LRH had
been hiding out at the Creston ranch under the false name "Jack
Mitchell" so as not to be served with lawsuits, as those who knew have

You have been lied to about LRH's biography, and in many aspects of it,
not just a few.

Though this may seem to be shocking enough or upsetting already there
are many other big and awful lies you have been told and false data you
have been fed. In fact enough false data to fill books which expose and
clarify them. Such books as "A Piece of Blue Sky" by Jon Atack, Bare
Faced Messiah by Bent Corydon and L.Ron Hubbard Jr., L.Ron
Hubbard:Messiah or Madman?" are full of truths revealed and internal
Scientology mysteries unfurled.

The internet is a source for you to explore the truths that hundreds of
former Scientologists, some from Int Exec strata, have written and

Truth, being made of pure Life itself can never be "entheta". It is
pure theta, even if shocking in its first impact ;like the sunshine
that dazzles the eyes of someone emerging from a deep and dark cavern,
having followed a closely taped path to nowhere but blind obedience.

But why, you may ask, not let us down slowly? Well, we who "found out"
were not let down slowly and we survived the truth and its powerful
re-orientations. So can you.

I invite you to explore the internet and finding your own freeing
truths. I ask that you open your eyes and see for yourself. I invite
you to see both sides of the Scientology coin.

For example;
Operation Clambake - The Inner Secrets Of Scientology
and other linked sites.

BEWARE of those who say "Do NOT look!" or try to label the truth or me,
or other brave ex-members who have the integrity to seak out despite
personal dangers as "entheta" or SP's. To my knowledge I have NOT been
declared SP, and have even asked Scientolgy terminals if there was such
a "declare" on several occasions to no avail, so I would welcome you to
be in communication with me.

I am proud to have been a companion of many, many Scientologists along
the way and I am equally proud of those who have had the guts to speak
out publicly. I regret the lies we were told and the fraud that took
advantage of our trusting good nature. I believe they must be fully
exposed and dealt with appropriately.

In closing, I salute your positive goals, your will to survive, your
bravery in facing new viewpoints and especially the divine spirit
within you that is immortal, beautiful and full of the Light that
shines as bright as the Sun. This inner Light is your real Source.

Michael Pattinson

mpattinson AT gmail DOT com
Got some anons asking for my art link

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 09, 2009, 09:14:37 AM
                          EARLY YEARS

Hi. I have been wandering around ESMB for a while and made a few posts. Time to tell my story.
I got into Scientology in 1977 in Adelaide. The org in those days was in Pulteney Street having moved not so long ago from a house is Restormal Avenue Fullarton.
Adelaide was affected by the fallout from the Anderson Enquiry. Initially a lot of Victorians moved to Adelaide and the org did well. Then the SA Parliament passed legislation effectively banning Scientology. It went underground and changed its name to “The Church of the New Faith”.  In the late 70s the Psychological Practices Act had been changed to exclude scientology so it could make something of a come back.
The org in Pulteney Street was a complete hole. The cheapest bit of real estate available. However the rent was affordable and the org was able to expand.  Several of the staff were sent to Flag for exec training including Andrew Simes who was appointed ED.
When I got involved the org was being run by SO garrison missionaries, David and Tina Myers.  Andrew arrived back to great fanfare in early 1978.
I had a friend who got involved in Scio; Chris Francis.  Chris was an old school friend and we played in bands for a number of years.  Chris had wins from auditing and disseminated to me.
I enrolled in the com course which was a sort of medium hard trs course for public in those days.  It was meant to be a reasonably quick introductory course before getting into the more meaty stuff.  Communication was my particular button and I was keen on achieving the ep of the course, which was to be at ease communicating to anyone or some such.
I spend about 4 weeks on the course, spending some hours at TR 0 trying for a major stable win which I interpreted to mean exterior with full perceptions.
The ED, David want me to complete on the course and told me that I would not get all the gains of scientology out of the com course and that I should attest and move on to other things.
I then went on the Student Hat which had all the old unedited SHBC tapes with explanations of R6EW.   Also got my first exposure to KSW  which I guess I was more concerned to ensure I didn’t leave a word misunderstood than the real content of that policy letter.  I was told by the supervisor that I would have to redo the course from the point of the MU so I was  careful about ensuring I knew the words. Because there were some pretty meaty case concepts in the student hat especially in the tapes, I felt I got a pretty good education about scio in that course. 
I then went on to study the HSDC – Standard Dianetics Course. I had to do three practical sessions to pass the course. I took my last pc into session at about 11am on Thursday. This was the Flag Rep of the local org, Duncan Grant, when orgs actually could have someone on that post.  Good fellow.
Anyhow, we got out of session before 2pm and I managed to complete within the obligatory time frame. Didnt get to do too much auditing after that.

Go to next page

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 10, 2009, 12:10:27 AM
                ANZO "Old Timers" treated like Crap by David Miscavige

This is a story from the Int Base for all the guys out in ANZO. This will have slightly more significance for all of the ex’s out there as it concerns some of the “royalty” of ANZO old timer scientology families. I will try and keep it mainly about the ANZO guys that were at the Int Base.

So there are a few families that have been around forever in ANZO. Children and grand children of at least two of those families ended up at the Int Base. The two families I am talking about were the Conleys and the Allens. From the Conley side, you would have Gary Conley, Gary was the son of Jim and Kaye Conley. Kaye’s sister Cherie was Kate Ceberano’s mum. For all of those outside on ANZO, Kate Ceberano is the aussie superstar recording artist that has had several platinum record albums and regularly shills for the Scilons every chance she gets. Okay so Jim and Kaye were in PR in LA. They would routinely get put on high profile PR jobs such as representing for Scilons at the 1988 LA Olympics all the way to taking care of LRH’s old house in Arizona. Jim and Kaye were both in the Sea Org. Their son Gary, also in the Sea Org would reach the highlight of his Sea Org career in the late 1980’s when he was the Inspector General MAA in RTC. He worked directly for COB and the IG – Marty Rathbun. He was basically the highest MAA post on the planet.

As for the Allens, there was Lisa and Kate. They were the twin daughters of Elaine Allen. Elaine Allen had been in ANZO from day one and was supposedly the first registered Scientology minister in Victoria as of May 1977. Both Lisa and Kate had their ups and downs and were regularly in trouble at the Int Base. In the early 1990’s they would both end up busted off of their posts in CMO Int and end up posted in Golden Era Productions, the so called bottom feeders of the Int Base. Kate would end up being an electrician and Lisa was posted as the Director’s Assistant in the Cine Division were they produced all of the videos and films for Scilonville. Their brother Shaun, worked in OSA in LA. I think there was another sister, but I am not sure where she worked.

Kate was married to this very cool Swedish guy in the Estates Division named Matz Markowitz. Matz was an engineer and could probably fix anything. Matz was never going to be anything but an engineer and was a good worker. Kate looked out of place in Electrical and had hopes of getting out of there one day.

Gary Conley would also take a fall - literally. After being busted out of RTC and posted in the Estates Division, the bottom feeders of Golden Era, Gary was working high up in the ceiling of the garage building cleaning the rafters. Without a safety cable or any kind of harness, you can guess what happened. He slipped and fell to the hard concrete below and shattered both ankles and his feet in several different places. Doctors told him he would be lucky to ever walk again, and after several years in a wheelchair, he actually did, with an odd limp, but he did end up walking.

Gary ended up being posted in the E-Meter manufacturing building I think mainly due to the fact that sitting down was the only kind of work he could do now. The only light in Gary’s life at this point seemed to be that Kate Ceberano was his cousin. He had her music cassettes and would force us to listen to them every chance he got. He would constantly have to remind people who the hell it was as she was popular in ANZO but had never been heard of in the states.

While Kate was slaving away in Estates and Gary was rolling around the Int Base, Lisa had bigger and better plans. She used her connections on the Director’s Assistant post to get in good with COB RTC and slowly rose up the ranks until 10 years later, she would become the Commanding Officer Gold. Lisa would regularly tell stories about her mum back in ANZO and how she was the Commanding Officer at the Advanced Org there. Her mum, Elaine Allen had met LRH in 1973 aboard the Apollo and was an old school Scilon and had been working in Scilonville well before David Miscavige was knee high to a grasshopper. Her being the CO AOSH ANZO was no surprise and as far as anyone was concerned, she would hold that post until she died.

Lisa was married to a guy named Paul Schroer. Paul was in RTC during the time where Vicki Aznaran was COB RTC and therefore when Dave Miscavige showed up, he promptly busted everyone out of RTC that worked with Vicki. Paul was one of these people. Because Paul had this past stigma stuck to him, no matter what he did, no matter where he was posted, every time he ended up doing anything that Dave Miscavige was involved in, he would end up getting in trouble.

The situation with Paul came to a head in the early 2000’s. Paul was the Director of A/V Manufacturing and Lisa was the CO Gold. David Miscavige had this big plan to re-release all LRH lectures on CDs was going down to A/V manufacturing just about every day to check on where things stood. Paul had no chance. David Miscavige was going off on a trip somewhere and had a message for Lisa. David Miscavige told Lisa, “You get rid of him or I am not coming back!” She had to take Paul off post and send him to the PAC RPF, or COB RTC was not going to come back to the Int Base. It was unclear to some if David Miscavige realized that Lisa was married to Paul. We knew that he knew. This was another one of his sick twisted ways he did shit. Get the Wife to RPF her own husband because David Miscavige was sick of him and had been sick of him since the day he became COB RTC just because Paul had worked for his nemesis, Vicki Aznaran. Paul did end up going to the RPF in PAC and Lisa divorced him so that she could keep in good graces with David Miscavige.

As if that was not enough, one day Lisa was told by someone in CMO INT that her mom had been flown to LA from ANZO for an ethics handling. When Lisa inquired further about this, she found that her mum was being routed into the RPF for Out-2D! Now while I have no doubt that older people can still get it on as good as the next person, her mum was in her 60’s. She was the CO of a Sea Org installation and that last thing that a 60 year old woman that works over a hundred hours a week is going to have time for is to get some nookie on the side. Lisa could not believe this. It was one of those things that just did not make any sense. Lisa was going to LA for something else and arranged to meet her mum down in PAC.

“CO GOLD here to see Elaine Allen,” Lisa said into the security console at the Horseshoe in PAC. Dressed in the RPF black shorts and T-shirt her mum came out of the Big Blue building escorted by another RPF’er. They had not seen each other in many years and now the circumstance were not at all good. They both cried and hugged. Then Lisa asked what the hell was going on. Elaine proceeded to tell her about some stupid Ethics Mission that had been sent from Management to yell at everybody in the AO and get the stats up. Typical of Scilon upper management that they send out some green weenies from LA that had never worked in an org before, only been in the Sea Org a few years, and only knew what David Miscavige’s “ Ideal Orgs” should be like and anything short of that was a criminal activity that should be destroyed. Elaine was none too impressed by these guys and they saw her as an enemy. When the stats for the AO were down, they piled into a room and put Elaine on the meter. Gang Bang Sec Check. After hours of yelling at Elaine and accusing her of having sex with a public Scilon, Elaine joked, “Yeah that’s it, I went Out-2D!” They had their confession! Even though they knew Elaine was being facetious and not serious, they rolled with it and wrote up the whole back story and even picked out some local public guy that they knew Elaine had met with before. This was it. After more than 30 years of dedicating her life to Scilonville, she was going to go to the RPF in Los Angeles for something that she never did by some kids from Hungary that joined the Sea Org 2 years ago so that they could get free room and board. After Elaine told the whole story to Elaine, Lisa was pissed. Lisa had enough power to maybe make this right again and told Elaine this. Elaine was upset, The Ethics Mission in ANZO had already spread the lies about Elaine. They had also screwed up enough other stuff at the AO that it was doomed at this point anyway. The org had already not been doing well, the new programs coming down from Int management had all but closed the place down anyway. Elaine was tired of being the hard ass Sea Org member. She wanted a break. Too bad the PAC RPF would be the furthest thing from that.

While Elaine did not want to do the RPF, she did not want to go back to ANZO either. It was a lose lose situation. Elaine was getting on and the RPF was the last place that an older person should be. Elaine could not believe how many old Sea Org members were on the RPF in PAC. Back, knee, and hip problems were the order of the day down there. Elaine was worried that she would end up broken and disposed of down in PAC. They hugged some more and Lisa said that she would have some stuff sent down to her mum to help her along until this whole thing got sorted out.

When Lisa got back to the Int Base, she went up to CMO INT. She asked a whole bunch of questions and tried to find out who sent the mission, who the people on the mission were and everything about this mess that landed her mum up on the PAC RPF. The dust was still settling from all the destruction these guys had caused and the CMO INT people told Lisa that they would let her know as much as they could find out.

Meanwhile an International Event was being pre-produced at the Int Base and David Miscavige wanted to review some footage in the Edit bays and Lisa had to go meet with him there.

Often, when David Miscavige would come into the edit bays to review an editor the latest music score for a video, he would make small talk or lay into someone before the review started. Today would be no different. As he sat there waiting for a few more people to show up, he started making small talk with Lisa.

“So did you hear about this old slut in ANZO?” David Miscavige says. “Yeah, we’ve had a mission down there and they put this chick on the meter and she confessed to all this lurid shit. Turns out this old hag down in ANZO has been fucking this big FSM down there and smoking his pole every chance she got. And she like 60 years old! She was the fucking CO of the AO! No wonder my new programs have not been getting done. Anyway, I could not believe it ” David Miscavige laughs as he recounts the story.

Everyone in the room besides David Miscavige is quiet. Pretty much everyone knows that Elaine was Lisa’s mum. Lisa is stunned into total silence and just stands there as he talks. He is oblivious as he flings out insult after insult.

Knowing that Lisa once hailed from Down Under he asks, “Did you know this bitch?”

“Yes, Sir. She is my mother Sir.” Lisa answered. You could see David Miscavige squirm for a second there. Here he was in a good mood and just trash talking about some old dag down in ANZO and all the sudden he is being made out to look like the bad guy here.

“Not really? She is your mom? I had no idea, really I didn’t.” David Miscavige knew that even his normal vulgar insensitive banter was over the line this time. He was literally shitting all over her mom and to top it all off, it was all bullshit.

“Lisa Allen is my maiden name Sir.” Lisa tells him so he can connect the dots.

After Lisa explained to him the whole story, he said that he would check into it and sort it out. He never did. Elaine stayed on the RPF. She did end up having the normal pains that 60 year old people have that work over 100 hours per week. On the RPF you are not allowed to walk. You have to run everywhere you go. Most RPF’ers have perfected the fast walk that looks like a light jog, but either way they are not walking. To add insult to injury, the RPF are not allowed to use the elevators. The RPF work in the basement and their showers and berthing are on the 6th floor. So in the best case scenario, you have these people jogging up at least 12 flights of stairs daily just to get to get to and from their rooms.

What’s the point of all this? I guess there is no point. This is just how David Miscavige ruins lives on a daily basis. It does not matter where they are from. I am aware that there are people in ANZO that are on the fence as to what they should do in regards to Scientology. I thought that many of them would know of the Allens and the Conleys. Obviously the Rinders are also old time ANZO Scientologists, but most people know about Mike Rinder and his departure from the organization.

I know there may even be some people out there in ANZO that hated Elaine Allen. She might have been a hard ass that no one liked. She was still someone’s mother and she was still a person. While there might be such a thing as Karma and she might have gotten what she deserved in the end, it does not mean that people can be treated like animals and this stuff should be allowed to take place in a modern day world.

To all those fence sitters out there in ANZO, is this what you signed up to support? As long as the money stops or slows flowing up the line to David Miscavige, new random programs will continue to come out. More and more people will disappear to the RPF in LA and you will be forced to buy things that you already have and get new E-Meters that put the old one to shame etc. More and more families will be disconnected and more and more people will be hurt by this organization.

What will it take for you to face reality? And I am not talking about the one you “created.”

No wucking furries eh?

Until next time...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 26, 2009, 06:47:12 AM
          Mark Fisher - Former Assistant to DM - Thanks Anonymous

Hello to Anonymous.

I wanted to say a big thank you to Anonymous for all that you are doing to expose the corruption of David Miscavige and Scientology.

For those of you who don’t know, I was in the Sea Org for many years and worked as DM’s assistant for almost 7 years before finally leaving in September 1990 after becoming more and more disaffected with DM and what he was doing to the group that I had dedicated my life to. One of the final straws was his physical attack on me in the garage at the Int/Gold Base. I would not put up with that behavior and shortly thereafter left for good.

Part of my story was told in the SP Times articles and videos at the link below a few weeks ago:

Scientology: Mark Fisher video | St. Petersburg Times

After leaving, little did I know that I was being spied on full time by Scientology hired and paid for Private Investigators in Las Vegas when all I was trying to do was earn a living, make a life for myself and recover. Thanks to Marty Rathbun, I was able to get the true story about what was happening regarding these spies and found out that my closest friend for the past 10 years was actually a paid spy for DM and Scientology.

Scientology: What happened in Vegas, Part 2 of 3 in a special report on the Church of Scientology - St. Petersburg Times

One of the attacks made by Scientology against me to the SP Times Reporters was that I was a “member of Anonymous” and participated in protests against Scientology. As if there was something wrong with this???

Anyway, I wanted to let you all know that I in fact did come out to support your protests early on. I was so impressed by your first protests around the world, that I decided to come out and show my support in Las Vegas in March 2008 when the Las Vegas Anons marched down the Las Vegas Strip. I wore a hat and mask to hide my identity as all the other protestors did, but I did talk with several of the Vegas Anons during the protest and told them a bit of my story. At first they thought I was a cop or spy for Scientology because of the way I looked.

Following that protest, I went to LA for the April 2008 protest against Scientology’s disconnection policy which they deny they practice. This time I went with several of my former Sea Org friends and we decided to not wear masks. Here is a photo of me at that protest in from the Management building on Hollywood Blvd:

Continued here.... With photos.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 02, 2009, 06:22:47 PM
                           Man Says Scientologists Enslaved Him as Boy

     LOS ANGELES (CN) - A man claims the Church of Scientology forced him to work as a "virtual slave" for 16 years at jobs ranging from washing pots and pans to restoring old films produced by Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard. John Lindstein says he was kept "busy, poor, tired, and uninformed" by Church of Scientology leader David Miscavige at the church's ranch in Hemet, and feared that "things would get even worse if he did not work as ordered."
     Lindstein's Superior Court complaint alleges human trafficking and violations of hour and wage laws at the church's "Gold Ranch" compound near Hemet, a semirural area east-southeast of Los Angeles.
     Lindstein says that from 1990 until 2006, starting when he was just 8 years old, he "performed this work as a virtual slave, working 16 to 24 hours days with no sleep, no time off and no personal freedom" at Gold Base, a mysterious and once-secret headquarters that "resembles a prison camp," with razor wire, security guard patrols, surveillance posts and three roll calls each day.
     By age 16, Lindstein says, he was working for Golden Era Productions, Scientology's film production company, restoring Hubbard's films from the 1970s. He says he often worked 24-hour days at the "tedious, frame-by-frame work that would normally cost more than $400,000 per movie to accomplish at industry rates."
     Lindstein and his crew of five were paid $50 per week, he says.
     Lindstein says Miscavige and others "intentionally, consciously and wrongfully made a tactical decision to ignore labor laws, take [their] chances with a compliant and intimidated work force, and hope that the running of the statute of limitations would in the long run save [them] millions of dollars."
     Lindstein says that Miscavige "runs the Scientology enterprise with an iron fist, according to his own rules, and enjoys the lifestyle and job benefits of royalty while those at the bottom of the food chain live like slaves and inmates."
     Those who tried to escape from Gold Ranch and were caught were assigned to the "Rehabilitation Project Force," in which workers faced "a brutal regime of manual labor, have no freedom of movement and are subjected to almost total deprivations of personal liberties," according to the complaint.
     Church of Scientology spokeswoman Karin Pouw said the church would not comment on the allegations.
     "The complaint filed by John Lindstein against the Church of Scientology International and others has not been served," Pouw said. "We do not comment on cases to which we are not a party."
     In his complaint, Lindstein says he was eventually "pushed to his breaking point and he found a way out."
     He says he has since been "declared an enemy of Scientology, given a large illegal bill for his purported scientology training, and cut off from friends and family who are still under the control of the Scientology enterprise."
     Lindstein wants the church to pay him at least minimum wage for his years of work. He is represented by Barry Von Sickle of Roseville, Calif.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 08, 2010, 02:27:41 PM
               Post by Aaron Saxton copied from EXSNB

It is embarrassing the lengths the Church will go to to silence critics.

For any Scientologists in doubt as to the church of Scientology`s tactics, here are four examples:

1. The Church of Scientology attempted in Auckland, New Zealand in November 2009 to have me charged for "Extortion". For an incident that took place in 2005. The Department of Public Prosecutions threw it out, laughing. Mike Ferris the local Director of Special Affairs failed.

2. The Church of Scienotlogy sent Private Investigators to my mothers house in December 2009. Lied to her, and attempted to gain information.

3. The Church of Scientology AOSH ANZO sent Sue Hunt via request from Vince Spataro, outside the organization while I was on protest at the church 4 times to approach me and another individual. She has now attempted to file a Violence Restraining Order against me. The Constable involved at the Redfern police station is laughing at it, although for proper conduct, she will attempt to serve it.

4. In response to the allegations made by Xenophon, the Church did not respond to the allegations, but chose to violate the Privacy Act and take information out from my PC file and Ethics file - none of which is allowed to be publically issued, and made public those statements.

If your a member of the church of Scientology then look above. The Church will not deny any of these matters as they are true.

What makes it OK to do ANY of the above? If it is OK with you, then your one that does not belong in a civilized society. And, the fact that you as a Scientologist accept any of these actions as acceptable is proof that you, too, are not only out-ethics, but condone activities usually reserved for a hard line communistic minded or Nazi minded movements.

Your church leaders in America and here in Australia have refused to meet to accept information on the abuses in your Church from myself, despite me offering names, dates and times. They have been asked on a number of occasions. The truth is they are not interested.

Your own leader of the Church here in Australia, Virginia while preaching the value of Scientoloy has for over 20 years refused to speak to her own father because of his viewpoint on Scientology.

So you think your Church is not in the business of harassment and intimidation?

             Wake up.

Post by: NED on January 08, 2010, 02:47:52 PM
Go Aaron!  Rock on!! 
Stop the criminal Cult!!!!!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 11, 2010, 11:49:26 PM
                Ex Sea org member speaks out

4 vids on youtube.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 16, 2010, 07:11:31 AM
                Transcript of Aaron Saxton`s latest vids.

See link at bottom of this article

Good evening. My name is Aaron Saxton. I'm a previous member of the Sea Organization and member of the Church of Scientology International.

The purpose of this audio presentation is to present information to media outlets, the general public, and politicians, primarily of the United States, and to release information that can be verified and used to prosecute the Church of Scientology International for violations of labor laws in the United States.

A brief introduction about myself: My name is Aaron Saxton, previously known as Aaron Tweddell. I served in the Sea Organization from 1989 to early 1996. I spent the years 1992 through to 1996 in the United States. I am now outside of the United States in Australia and I am presenting this information as follows.

This audio presentation will be brief, approximately 15 minutes in length, and will cover the following areas:
(1) The names of my recruits, so that they may be contacted and verify that this information is true and correct;
(2) The Cadet Organizations of the Sea Org, their true purpose, and incidents involved in the Cadet Organization that were not reported to the police by the Church of Scientology International;
(3) I will advise why the CMO and certain divisions of the Sea Organization used young children, as opposed to adults, for recruitment;
(4) I will provide information on the illegal certificates provided;
(5) I'll provide the results of our activities.

Firstly, who did I recruit? During the years 1992 through to 1996, I served primarily as the Division 1 Secretary of the Commodore's Messenger Organization International Extension Unit, which is located at the Hollywood Guaranty Building, 6331 Hollywood Boulevard, in Los Angeles. As the Division 1 Secretary, my prime responsibilities were for the ethics of that organization and to see that it correctly policed all of middle management. I was also responsible for the personnel of that organization.

During that time, the following people were recruited by myself, primarily, or I assisted in. Of the following list of names, I directly recruited more than 90 per cent mentioned. I do not have a complete list of those people, and this represents approximately 50 per cent of all people recruited by me. The list is as follows:

Melissa Bylsma
Chrystal Cisco
Edward Dickey
Marissa Profittlich
Eric Profittlich
Jamie Guay
Mike Valiente
Tyrone Webb
Hender Alvarez
Dorian Andriette
Dan Bosa
Jessica Bulet
Shawna Christiansen
Javier Montez
Deborah Downing
Robbie Downing
Robert Fulmer
Wayne Furnell
David Gutierrez
Zane Hollingsworth
Andrea [surname I do not remember]
Jenny Lenacheck
Page [surname I do not remember]
Rob Willett
Jenny [surname I do not remember]
Mandy [surname I do not remember]
Javier Montez
Dan Modras
Suzanne Mochrie
Christina MacDaniel
Barbara [surname I do not remember]
Kendra Lister

Most of the people that I have just named were between the ages of 13 and 17 years of age.

The next topic I will record is that of the Cadet Org. The Cadet Org. What is the Cadet Org? In every major Sea Org International location, an organization was established to house, furnish, feed, educate, and train all young members of the Sea Organization. Whilst not considered young members of the Sea Organization, being the children of Sea Org members entitled them to such a title, and as such, they were financed and protected by the Sea Organization. Branches were established: one in the Flag Land Base and one in Los Angeles. The one in Los Angeles, out in Ventura County, where some 30 to 50 odd young Sea Org members were housed between the ages of 4 to 13. During this time they received "an education in the real world" and "an education in Scientology." However, as young members, they were given instructions and treated like Sea Org members. They had jobs, positions to do, wore hats, and slept in berthing not unlike what Sea Org members also went through. They were allowed and permitted very little time with their parents. The Ventura location County was so far away from the Sea Org location in Los Angeles that it was a physical impossibility for the children to really associate with their parents in any great extent.

The advantage of a Cadet Org is that it gave the Sea Organization a very unique resource pool: people that have not been exposed to the outside world, people that were fully indoctrinated in Scientology and had already agreed to join the Sea Organization at a later date when they are old enough to legally be able to be permitted. It should be noted here that, "legally permitted" ... I mean ... when we felt ... in the Sea Org, we could get away with it, legally enough to avoid prosecution.

At the Cadet Org, several illegal activities were undisclosed, such as... Often, Sea Org cadets would be involved in sexual activities at a young age of 13. While it's not illegal to do this with another underage person, there were instances, such as the Flag Land Base of one particular recruit, Sarah is an example, from the Cadet Organization, in 1992, having sex with people over the ages of 16 and 18. Primarily, this occurred during the Estates Project Force training. Here, all details of these were withheld from the police and not reported. This also occurred at the Ventura County, and all unusual relationship activities of all children were never reported to the police, even if they involved adults.

Why did the Sea Org like to enjoy the recruitment of young people? The answer lay in the history of the CMO. The CMO, the Commodore's Messenger Organization, was established on the ship by L. Ron Hubbard, aka the "Commodore" of the Sea Org. Young children provided a very unique perspective: one, they were easily taught, easily trained, and could easily be made to worship or deify a senior authority or person. When they saw the horrors of the Sea Organization, such as heavy ethics and justice, it wasn't hard to convince a person to join the CMO. CMO typically, from continent to continent, and particularly in Los Angeles, enjoyed a higher level of berthing conditions, food conditions, and welfare conditions above any other members of the Sea Org. Also, being children, they would naturally have a fear of adults. Being in the CMO was of a great advantage, because here they were made authoritative and given total authority over all other Sea Org members. This gave them the authority they needed to feel protected. Also, love-bombing, a commonly documented technique in cults, was very prevalent in the CMO. CMO ate away from the rest of the Sea Org, we berthed away from the rest of the Sea Org, and we had our own separate quarters, our own separate musters and conditions. Such an environment was very conducive to young children. As an example, in the Commodore's Messenger Organization in Los Angeles at the Hollywood Guaranty Building, very few messengers were over the age of 18. This created a good, unique environment for children to thrive in, where they felt they were part of a similar group of people.

Policies in the Sea Org that allowed us to bring the children in at such an early age did not exist. Simply, what existed was the desire to have Sea Org members. I recruited public Scientologists as young as 15 years of age to come into the Sea Org and join the CMO. Why did the parents permit this? The parents permitted this because, primarily, they knew that if their children joined an organization such as Bridge Publications Incorporated or Celebrity Center International, they would receive some form of status and better treatment than the average Sea Org member. However, allowing them into the CMO offered their children a very unique chance to be part of a more elite group.

Also, within the CMO, we provided and guaranteed education to our children. However, none of this was ever delivered. In fact, the moment a person started working for the CMO, no education was allowed at all. However, we had a legal responsibility in regards to allowing children to be educated. How we got around this is that there were several educators involved in the WISE group, called "World International Scientology Enterprises Incorporated", around the world, and these educators existed in Los Angeles, and what would happen is we would pay them and we would send one of the Messengers out. And what they would do is what was known as a pre-examination, where they were actually given the actual exam required to pass the legal requirements. They would always fail, because they hadn't received an education. What would then happen is the answers were fed to the children over a period of several hours and then they were given the exam "for real." Of course, they would pass the examination. Passing the examination, they were then given a certificate of educational requirements. The Office of Special Affairs in Los Angeles and all Church of Scientology International directors were well aware of the scam. However, legally, it couldn't be rebuffed, as the parents of Scientologists would not refute that this had actually happened, and they would stand by their children and say they had received an education, even when they had not. The last known example of this that I was involved in was the sending of Suzette Barnett to the International Base. Her mother, a prominent Scientologist out in the field, condoned and accepted her daughter to go through illegal certification of her educational requirements in order to facilitate her daughter rising through the ranks of Scientology.

I want to outline to the politicians and the media that may be listening to this audio presentation the severe results of our actions. The result of these actions resulted in children that no longer pursued sports, no longer pursued arts, crafts, or any other form of career, and as a result, the children grew up without having any other options in their life, other than to pursure careers within the Sea Organization. In particular, children that had grown up in the Cadet Organization were literally condemned to a life within the Sea Org, regardless of what they wanted, because their parents were in it, and they hadn't known anything in their entire lives. Children that were recruited publicly and then put into the CMO had a second option: if they did leave the Sea Organization, they could hypothetically get another career. However, if years had passed between these dates, they were now young adults and would no longer be qualified to go through standard educational lines. This is one of the reasons why parents of Sea Org members, particularly young Sea Org members, often assist and keep their children within the Sea Org after this, and once they decide to leave. It is because they know that they can't particularly have much of a career outside of the Sea Org.

I have provided this very brief information as a guide to others out there about just how many children were involved in this in Los Angeles and the ages of those children. There isn't a single person I have named that cannot be contacted and have verified through their personnel records that they were in fact in the Sea Org at too early of an age. Such staff members such as Dan Modras and Zane Hollingsworth are clear examples, including Tyrone Webb, of people being allowed in at far too early of an age.

It would be impossible for the Church of Scientology International to deny the existence of such a program to recruit young people, and I stand by to assist with anybody who wishes more information.

Thank you.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 23, 2010, 04:17:15 PM
          Former Scientology Marketing Staffer Speaks Out After Leaving 'Cult'

A former senior writer in the Church of Scientology’s “Central Marketing Unit” has left the organization to join a dissident group of independent Scientologists. A rambling account of Steve Hall’s life inside Scientology’s headquarters can be found on Rediscover Scientology, the dissident group’s web site.

The church disputes his account and says Hall was kicked out of the organization after he claimed to be Jesus and Bhudda, and sent a fellow parishioner a 12-page letter claiming he was channelling the man’s deceased wife.

Hall (pictured) claims he wrote Scientology’s current advertising tagline, “Know Yourself; Know Life,” as part of an effort in the mid 1990s to make Scientology more useful to potential recruits and less like a cult. He left the church because its leader, David Miscavige, disagreed with his efforts, he says:

    Starting in 1995, Steve began to use his position as Senior Writer to overhaul Scientology marketing and make [L. Ron Hubbard] products and services relevant. Ads that robotically parroted survey buttons were replaced with marketing that was more sophisticated, fresh and humorous.

    And readers began to notice. For Dianetics he teamed up with Caroline Mustard and wrote, “When life becomes a battleground, your mind is the best weapon.” In 1997, he coined the tag line for Scientology still in use today, “Know Yourself; Know Life.” Scientologists who were there in the 1990s may remember the shift when Scientology’s marketing took on on new life.

    As Steve recalls, “The ads demonstrated it was possible for Scientology to be useful and valuable in solving life problems, instead of being a cult.

Miscavige hated it, Hall claims:

    Steve’s consequent attempts to “de-cultify” Scientology’s image and create a positive future put him on a violent collision course with David Miscavige.

    Miscavige screams obscenities and assaults people and instead of observing the obvious, staff become specialists in justified thought, afraid to rock the boat.

    The few remaining staff who continue to defend Miscavige are classic cases of the ‘battered person syndrome’…

Hall claims that when he finally left the church in 2004 he was presented with a bill for $82,181 for the church’s services, which included a $3500 “life orientation course.”

Tommy Davis, pr chief for Scientology, dismissed Hall’s story. “This guy’s a lunatic,” Davis said. “He’s a sick guy.” Davis told BNET that Hall was merely a copywriter at the Church and was “dismissed” after behaving erratically. Hall’s exit from the church came after he sent a letter to another Scientologist in which Hall said the man’s dead wife was speaking through him, Davis said. Davis also said the $82,181 bill was cancelled and not pursued. “He has no credibility.”

Rediscover Scientology is run by “rebel Scientologists” who believe “the Church has drifted from its original humanitarian purpose laid down by LRH.”

Correction: The original headline on this story incorrectly referred to Hall as a marketing “chief.” Apologies for the error.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 07, 2010, 10:49:30 AM
For anyone still in the cult.
Here is an interesting read.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 18, 2010, 07:53:27 AM
                        The Scientology Bridge to Total Freedom

From an OT 8 !!!

$$Scientology's "Bridge to Total Freedom" is a horrible and deceptive

It should be called "THE PIER TO TOTAL FLOTSAM"


Scientology's Bridge is not that.

It does not have a far end that reaches anyplace.

I walked it right to the end (New OT8) and it does NOT lead
to Total Freedom. I had paid half a million dollars for bridge, not a

It was not a bridge at all but basically just a pier leading away from
the shores of real life, self-worth, success and love and out into the
stormy disturbed waters of cult dependency, financial ruin, oppression
by totalitarian beaurocracy and heartless abuse by injustices and
tyrannical whims.

I could not go further as there was no more road to walk. (Feb 1990).
The end of the OT road was a realisation (NEW OT 8 END PHENOMENON:"NOW
in fact that was the state I was in BEFORE spending $500,000 on the
cult's "Bridge".
I tried finding my own way forward (reading things from
non-Scientology subjects) that helped me know more about who I am, but
was forbidden to read them by Scientology's #2 executive (Marty
Rathbun) and given an ultimatum to stop reading and talking about the
"other" books or get expelled. I had paid for a bridge but the deed I
held was like a fake deed on purchasing the Brooklyn Bridge, except
that the Brooklyn Bridge is really a bridge! I could not go on and so
I "fell" off (their viewpoint on why I left).

In fact I was pushed off the end into the icy waters of
litigation against the fraud that was claiming it had sold me a

The mobsters of the criminal cult tried to affix two buckets of
official cement
to my ankles so I would be deep-sixed and disposed of "quietly and
without sorrow" (per Hubbard's instructions on gay people and all
others that dare to tell the world about the Scientology scam). The
cult attorneys of "Moxon and Kobrin" and hired goons used tax-exempt
dollars and funds destined to charitable purposes to enforce an
eventual bankruptcy on me (1999) by illegally solicited lawsuit
against me and an attempt to sabotage my US immigration application
(in addition to blackmail threats, PIs harassing my friends, sabotage
of my job, attacks on my attorney, loss of all my assets, home, car,
bank acounts, credit standing,....etc.....).

The immigration sabotage failed when my special attorney sued the INS
and won.

The rest of the sabotage did occur and it was only by a series of
miracles that I even survived it. I was eventually able to get washed
ashore and crawl up onto the edge of real life again (2000).

I guess I was a piece of the cult's "flotsam" for a while there.

Others who have also swum ashore somehow are posting here to
alt.religion.scientology. They got shoved off the criminal cult's
"Pier to Total Flotsam" too, probably when they started to see through
the fraud of the false promises. I salute their bravery for sticking
up for the truth and having the courage and sheer guts to continue to
tell about it.

Let's all enjoy the vast and glorious mainland of non-cult reality and
help to stop others from getting scammed and thrown overboard into the
ocean of Scientology's deceit and viciousness.

Love and warmest regards to all those who "Survived Scientology".

I will never "vote you off"

Michael. (Pattinson.)

I know first hand what they have been through.

Post by: NED on February 19, 2010, 07:26:11 AM
I think that is the best description of Scientology I've ever read.
Thanks for Posting.

Post by: rockyslammer on February 19, 2010, 10:17:34 AM
As I keep telling everyone - it's not a bridge - or a pier!

It's a damn roundabout!  You end right back where you started!  And everytime around when you go past "go" you pay $200!


Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 20, 2010, 01:49:51 PM
           Power FSM who got 40,000 people in, is OUT/ declares David Miscavige

                          Suppressive Person Declare Order     February 16th, 2010

David Miscavige, (hereby declared, former) COB of RTC;
Also known as the leader of the Church of Scientology

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 01, 2010, 07:41:57 AM
                 New OT 8 leaves Scientology.

From Ex scientology message board.

Hello all. I have finally worked up the courage to make this first post. Take this first step. I have been lurking for several months as a guest on this and other boards. What finally brought me to the point of registering, after having read horror story after horror story of staff and public, was reading Feral’s and Ms. Pattycake’s stories. OMG. Many stories that I have read on this board and others have really touched me, but their stories actually caused me to take my first action and register so that I could participate, too. At least so that I could share my comments with others as I felt comfortable doing. I am slowly handling my “fear” considerations of what might happen if I “get caught.”

Just a brief introduction: I am a long time Scientologist, having taken my free personality test in November 1974 and getting started on the Comm Course right away. Once I had wins on the TRs, I felt it was the first time in my life I had actually communicated and been communicated to. I felt I was finally in present time. My life was wonderfully warm and fuzzy. I was so happy to have found this group of people. I will have to say that before I ever found Scientology, I already knew I was aware of being aware; I knew I was immortal; I had gone exterior many times before my introduction to Scientology under multiple different situations. On the TRs, I was introduced to a way I could actually communicate to another in the theta universe, even sometimes without speaking words in a telepathic manner. This was an ability I was already familiar with. I could feel a wonderful flow of communication, attention, admiration and theta. People liked me more and more; and I like them more and more. Even people at work and outside of Scientology liked me more than before and made that known to me. Before Scientology, people may have thought I was outgoing, but actually I was rather shy. I was now more in communication with my environment and others. This was good and was very encouraging and I felt I had found a new way of life. The grade chart pointed the way for me and Clear and OT was where I was headed.

Let me back up just a minute. Before Scientology, I was looking for something. Something more. I had graduated high school, gotten married to my high school sweetheart, gotten divorced, was a single person working day in and day out, goofing off evenings and weekends and I knew there had to be more to life than that. I was reading the Tao, B.F. Skinner, self-help books, the Bible, transcendental meditation, anything I could get my hands on to find out what more was available to me in life. There just HAD to be more than I could perceive at that moment. I felt I had found it in Scientology.

I joined staff a couple of months later on a 2 ½ year contract. It was wonderful and hard; I hated it and I loved it. I met my husband, we married and by the time I left staff 2 ½ years later I was 5 months pregnant. However, leaving proved to be very messy and I ended up being declared. Since I told someone I wasn’t going to re-sign when I was asked about it, but was going to leave, I got declared an SP based on the recently released HCO PL Leaving & Leaves. I experienced disconnection from all my newly made friends. Then, when I returned to the Church in the early 1980s, the MAA told me the SP declare was an injust action and it was rescinded. I got back on the Bridge after having done a set of lower conditions.

For the next 31 years I did training and auditing and eventually attested to New OTVIII. I was an FSM, VM and an OT Committee member. Then, I join staff again at a Class V org. My staff experience this time was not like it was for me in the 1970s. Something had drastically changed. It was hard and not pretty at all. The theta was mostly non-existent or came across as forced or false. I really couldn’t believe things had changed so drastically. In the 1970s, it was of the utmost importance for a person to get trained and audited; to actually go up the Bridge and training was very much pushed. Make auditors, get trained, be a Class VI. Even staff were trained and audited and went to do their OT levels. That did not seem to be the case with my recent staff experience. It was my perception that people were valuable as long as they had the money to contribute to the various entities, such as IAS, Super Power, Library Project, etc. Otherwise, they were kicked off to the side to fend for themselves, more or less. I personally did not witness the expansion spoken of in the recent international events I saw. It wasn’t happening at my org. I don’t know where it was happening, but not where I was. The org I joined back in the 1970s was huge. The org I had recently joined was small. I was very shocked. In the 30 intervening years what in the world had happened?! I couldn’t believe my eyes, but I knew I was capable of helping. I was certain of it at the time I joined staff again, but that turned out to apparently not be the case either.

Over the years, I mostly kept my mouth shut concerning the changes I saw happening with the Golden Age of Tech, the new definition of FN, the way the 6-month sec checks were being audited, the solo NOTS auditors dropping off the level, revision of the Basic books, etc. It became clear that these were things not to be questioned or there would be trouble. As my dad used to say, “Yours is not to question why. Yours is but to do or die.” Then, there was the militaristic way of handling public, as well as staff, especially OTs. This was especially baffling because as we move up the Bridge to OT, we are to be more trusted, right? It was hard for me to reconcile what was being said to what was being done. Then there were the mandatory meetings, mandatory attendance at events, the incessant call-in activities, heavy ethics handlings, insistence to come up with more and more money. The knowledge reports I wrote on the situations I observed seemed to go nowhere and seemed to have no effect. I saw no changes as a result of having written them. I saw my Scientology friends having grave financial difficulties, declaring bankruptcy, losing their homes and businesses. These were people who had contributed many 10s and 100s of thousands of dollars to the Church. I witnessed them having to endure heavy ethics handlings because they had no money to donate, no money to continue auditing on the Bridge. This was heartbreaking to me to see so much upset being created by, of all things, my church. I noticed that one (including me) didn’t say much of anything when they were witness to a staff member being yelled at in the hallway or being manhandled. Sometimes I was just stunned into silence thinking that this is just not the way a church should operate; not the way a church should treat their parishioners or their staff. A church, of all things, should not operate like this. Especially MY church, the one which has the tech to handle case on the planet and clear everyone. But, because I was so focused on achieving my lifelong goal of being OT, I kept the blinders on and my nose to the grindstone and minded my own business. My eternity was at stake, as you know, as was the relationship with my family and friends.

Since I left staff, much has happened with my viewpoint about the Church of Scientology proper. One day a few months ago, I was doing an internet search for something and bumped into an article I knew I shouldn’t read about Scientology. But I did anyway. Then, I read another and another and another and have been educating myself since that time on what I haven’t been allowed to look at for 35 years. I am still adjusting my viewpoints to this new information and sifting through and evaluating the information now available to me. I haven’t fully formed an opinion of how I really feel about LRH or the technology as yet. Right now, I feel parts of the tech are valid, workable and valuable, and will and do help mankind if applied per LRH. Other parts I have not made a decision about thus far. However, as far as Church management and the direction that has taken, I have experienced the bad effects of that from inside Class V org staff. I did not like what I saw and had to experience. I felt that it was very destructive of staff, public and the church. The destruction far outweighed the construction and I see the result now of an apparently crumbling church. I never, ever thought I would witness this in my lifetime. I never, ever thought I would feel about the church as I have come to feel now.

Once I realized that my viewpoint had changed, I knew, as a matter of personal integrity and truth, that I had to somehow speak to my closest family members about it. I started by gently speaking to each of them in a test communication cycle to see if I could find out where they stood regarding the church, the tech, LRH and what is currently happening with the church in the news. I knew there was something there preventing complete communication with me and I wondered if somehow this could be it. To my utter amazement, I discovered all three had been withholding themselves and their communication from me about this for fear they would have to disconnect from me if they communicated how they really felt! One had been withholding communication about this for as long as 14 years, another longer than that and another for a whole year. Wow! I couldn’t believe it. How happy and relieved I am to have regained the communication with them that I had been missing. It is a wonderful feeling to have my family back.

I cannot deny the gains I have experienced on my Bridge. I do not regret having done the Bridge that I have done. One of my friends, a Scientologist for longer than me, has disavowed the Church and the tech. I am not of that mind. Some are. As I said, I am relatively new to this research but I know what I know and know what the tech has done for me. And what it has not done for me.

This introduction has not been as brief as I had originally envisioned. I am happy to make my introduction to you, nonetheless, and hope to hear from you, too. I appreciate you being here and sharing your stories. It is valuable.


Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 03, 2010, 07:37:27 PM
Story of my Scientology life
Hey everybody. here's my story. In a clamshell... :D

I was born into Scientology, and raised as such. Never really had a choice, and never knew differently. I went to Delphi Academy in (at the time) La Canada, California. Not a Scientology school my ass. I guess they could argue that 'the study technology' isn't Scientology, but being forced to do 'ethics conditions' when you were in trouble definitely is. And doing TRs? Right. No Scientology here folks, move along.

So, I was constantly in trouble in school, for generally breaking the rules, blah blah.Kicked out once, suspended a few times. When I was 16 I was recruited by Bridge. I hated being in school. Having been brainwashed my entire life, I thought that joining the Sea Org would be the best thing I could do with my life. I would be helping people! Yippiee!! It disgusts me now thinking back to how my parents would let me do that. No 16 year-old fully understands the seriousness a decision like that carries. A bajillion year contract? Sure! Where do I sign? Feed me more BS please, the brainwashing of Delphi has obviously worked.

I left school, got my GED, and began my short Sea Org life. I was recrutied by BPI, but ended up, at first, working for the 'Events' part of CLO/WUS (Continental Liason Office, Western United States). I then was moved over to BPI. Me and willhaven720 knew eachother back then. We weren't best friends or anything, but we knew eachother. Different circles. He was the book sales master, and I was the 'Deputy Shipping Officer', which meant I put books into boxes and called UPS to pick them up. You see, I ended up working out in BPI's warehouse in the city of Commerce, California. I shipped the books that Will sold. lol.

I loved it out there. there were only like 5-6 of us, we could listen to music all day, and it was honestly fun. I got to drive forklifts around corners as fast as I could go, etc. That part was awesome. other than that, my life sucked.

I ended up 'dating' (if you could even call it that. you don't really date in the Sea Org ). Then, bum bum bum buuuuummmm....we 'went out 2D'. We knew we'd be kicked out or RPF'ed, of course. Subconsiously, I think that was pretty much the plan. An 'easy' way out. Long story short, i chose to get the boot rather than be a mindless slave on the RPF. I don't need to go into the details, you've all heard them before from other people. typical guilt trips, you suck, 10billion questions, etc.

So, I went back to live at home. My parents were totally cool about it from what I remember. I would go to Delphi afterwards to hang out with my friends when they got out of school. Lol. The Sea Org didn't like that. The daughter of the lady in charge of delphi at the time was in the Sea Org. I think she was in CMO. She told her mom, the headmaster of Delphi, that I was an SP and a DB, and under no circumstances should I be allowed on Delphi's campus. See, they didn't want to send their recruiters there after school (which is how they got me) if there was a 'freeloading ex-SO member there'. lol. This was back when my mom actually understood the value of family over the Co$. Not the same now, which you'll read about soon enough.

That was 11 years ago.

Now I'm all growed up, and no longer blind. That being said, I am in a pretty interesting situation. lol. I'm no longer a Scilon, of course, BUT I do work at a company where maybe 1/3 of the people are. Well, they SAY they are (not to the 'normal' employees though), but only 1 or 2 of them are actually active/on course. A few of us are ex-SO, but i'm pretty much the only anti. My sister and her husband work here, and both call themselves scientologists, even though they don't do any courses or anything. Nobody here really feels the way I do though, so i never bring anything up. I don't need any fucking drama in the workplace. Most people here are cool, and i really don't have anything against them. Scientologists or not, they are my friends. I've known some of then since we were little kids. What's funny to me is that scientologists in general don't bother me. i just feel sorry for them. I fucking hate the Co$, but the 'regular' members are just blind, harmless sheep.

Ok now, here's the nitty gritty. My dad, an OT7, was declared an SP a few years ago. I haven't seen or heard from him in about a year and a half. Allegedly, he was doing 'squirrely' shit, by auditing himself when he wasn't supposed to or something. He also supposedly cheated on my mom. Then, the rumor I heard from my wife, who heard it from my cousin, is that he also supposedly brought a hooker back to the house when my mom was at work, or something like that? I don't know. I know my dad, and that seems a little out there. Seems like some fairy tale shit to me. you black pr/fair game bs. Pretty sure none of that really constitutes labeling someone as completey evil, worthless, piece of dirt.

Here's how that situation went down...

A few years ago, my mom calls me to tell me she needs to have dinner with me and my sister, it's important, blah blah. At the time, my dad was at Flag, spending God only knows how much money. i think he had been there for a few months, doing a 6 month check or something. I dunno. Ok, so we go to dinner.

As soon as we order, my mom says something along the lines of "ok, there's no easy way to say this, so i'll just say it". i'm thinking, ok, bankruptcy. had to be that. my parent's marriage had been great (to my knowledge). My sister and i look at eachother in wonder.

"Your father and I are getting a divorce. He's being declared an SP.."

Huh? What the fuck? MY dad? No, that can't be. At this time our food shows up. Perfect. Not fucking hungry now.

So, I don't say anything at first. My sister starts asking questions, etc. My mom tells us that he cheated on her, it's not important who with, and he was doing some sort of unauthorized self auditing, etc. After her making excuses for why the Co$ was right, she asks me if i want to say/ask anything. "No. You really don't want to hear what I have to say, Mom. Trust me."

So, as the months go by, there is no declare yet. I think the total time it took was like 3-7 months. My memory regarding time really sucks so I'm really not sure, but i think it was something like that. My mom and dad are 'working things out'. She says she loves him, blah blah blah, and that since there is nothing in writing, they aren't disconnecting yet. She wants to stay married, etc. He finds his own place to live, which is literally 2 streets away from her place. He knows the order is coming, so he's not waiting until the last minute. Still, they both want to work things out. So my mom says. During all this, I'm not worried, cause i'm not a Scilon anymore, and the declare won't effect me at all. lol. Right.

Ok, so finally, after months of waiting, the order comes. Honestly, I really don't understand why it's taken so long. It's a fucking piece of paper, not a book. Whatever. So my mom, and sister and I go down to PAC to read the declare. Let me tell you, after years of being out, walking into that place is fucking weird as hell. Seeing all the plastered on smiles and empty eyes. Creepy to say the least.

So we're waiting, and finally some dude, Julian something or another, comes up and says he's ready for us. at that exact moment, my dad calls my mom on her cell. he has no idea we are there, and what we are about to read. remember, he has his own place now, so he's out of the loop. my mom, in the bitchiest voice she can muster up, says 'i can't talk to you anymore. ever. bye.' and hangs up. I look at her with a raised eyebrow "really mom? was that necessary? you could have just muted the ringer". No response.

So we sit down in 'Julian's' office. I read the order, which is just a generalized order, saying he was out 2d and somthing about doing squirrel shit. Julian asks if we have any questions.

'Ok julian, so my dad, who's spent his ENTIRE LIFE as a $cientologist, since he was 5 or so, is now an SP. Cool. Can you explain to me how him cheating on my mom and 'auditing himself without permission' makes him a complete piece of garbage, evil person? How does that work out? I mean, he's not a murderer or anything".

As expected, no good answer. It doesn't really matter to me though, i'm not going to 'disconnect'.

"Nothing wrong with me not disconnecting, is there? I mean, you guys aren't going to declare me and make the rest of my family disconnect from me too, are you? Oh, yeah. I'm not a scientologist. Never will be again."

"No, we can't tell you what to do, you aren't a member" blah blah. Typical 'tell you what you want to hear' BS.

So, a few months go by, and I am still in contact with my dad. I don't tell my mom how he's doing, or anything about him, because i don't want to do anything malicious or anything. whatever. That's when the fun starts.

She tells me that I need to disconnect from him. I say 'No, I don't. Your church can't tell me what to do'. Long story short, she says the reason is that I'm family, and an ex-Scio. Even though her neighbors were still having dinner with my dad and talk to him all the time, as does she, since i'm family and a previously brainwashed Scilon, it's different. Riiiiight. I tell her, "sorry, doesn't make sense. I'm not following some dumb rule that your church puts out".

Her response? "Well then i'll need to disconnect from you, and so will your sister. And I don't know how that will affect your job". You know, since I work with some $cientologists (my sister and her husband included).

"Ok mom. Now you are going to threaten my job, which in turn fucks with my whole life? That's fucked up. What is my boss going to do, fire me? He'd be facing a huge lawsuit, you know that. Tell your church I said to fuck off. Sorry.'

A Couple of weeks go by.

"You need to disconnect from your dad, because if i'm in contact with you, and you with him, then i can't go up the bridge" she tells me.

"Well mom, that's just shitty for you. Have fun not talking to me then, because I'm not going to disconnect from dad. He fucked up. I get that. What, am I supposed to now just ignore him and leave him alone? He has nobody. NOBODY. All of his friends were $cientologists. He has nobody now. only the people he works with. That's it. If you need to disconnect, then do it. your loss. I find it pretty fucking twisted that you put more value on your church than you do on your own son, not to mention your grandkids and YOUR HUSBAND OF 26 YEARS."

She tells me shes not choosing the church, but chosing her own spiritual freedom. I laughed.

"Spiritual freedom? Show me one $cientologist that is free! How many OT's do you know that died from cancer? i can name almost 10! " etc. etc.

Another week or 2.

"Your dad can't do his steps he needs to do in order to get back in with the church if he is in contact with you" is the latest. Even though he talks to his brother, who is an ex-scientologist. their mom, is an OT5 or 6, in her 80's, is a founding member of the church. she doesn't talk to my dad, but she talks to her other son (my dad's brother) who in turn, is talking to him. Essentially the same type of connection, right? I think i made that make sense. lol.

So now, this is the tactic they use against my dad. He can't do what he needs to do if he is in contact with me. He, of course, wants to get back in with them, since it's all he knows. It's also the only way he sees now to be able to be in contact with us in the future. This includes my 2 sisters, all of his grandkids, my mom, and all of his former friends. So, of course, he breaks ties with me. I haven't seen or heard from him at all since then.

That all went down just before Christmas a few years ago. On Christmas Eve, being the good, loving family that we are, my wife and I bought a little mini xmas tree, and decorated it. We cooked up a big Christmas dinner, and brought that with the tree, presents and cards over to the house he was living in. Now, this house had a gate at the bottom of the driveway, so i couldn't bring it up to him. we set it all up just outside the gate. I blocked my number and called him. when he answered and found out it was me, he said he couldn't talk, and he's really sorry. Before he could hang up, I said "I know dad. I know. Just do this one thing. go to the bottom of your driveway and get your christmas present. I won't be there or anything. don't worry. Just get it before somebody steals it. I love you, dad. merry Christmas." and I hung up.

We sat in my car just around the corner, and watched him come down the driveway. We watched him read the cards that we left him, and the look at the pictures my kids drew for him. He stood there for a few minutes just holding them. All alone.

He has since moved, and I don't know where too. All I have is his email address. He doesn't answer emails I send. He's scared that will fuck up his chances with the Co$. No answer at all. Not even to the "Hey dad, it's me. Jjust letting you know me, the wife and kids are ok. Let me know if you are doing ok. Even if your reply is just a smiley face, or a 'all is good' email. We love you". No responses. I'm assuming I would know if something happened to him. I do know I'm listed as an emergency contact, etc. at his office, and wherever else.

So much for Tommy Davis' public denial of Scientology having/enforcing a disconnection policy. Fuck you tommy davis. lying bastard. I've seen the policy. i don't remember what HCO/PL it was in, but it's the most general fucking vague thing I've read. And if my memory serves me right, it's only like a paragraph i think.

Needless to say, I am still in contact with my mom, every now and then. I have kids, and I'm not going to keep them from seeing their grandmother. I don't believe in tearing families apart.

Last time she was over at my house, she mentioned trying to have the church clear up my freeloader debt. Hahah. Yea right. "You mean the money they say I owe them for the courses i was REQUIRED to take? Oh, not to mention the fact that i was a minor. Doesn't effect me any, either way, mom. Have fun". Pretty sure she only wants to do it because they are telling her to. 'it will help her move up the bridge'. Meh.

Oh yea, I remember one time i was talking to her and she brought up wanting me to get back into Scientology. Fucking $cientologists. Jesus. Really? After all this? lol. I tell her "No, never going to happen. Why would you try to even talk to me about that?"

Her response is "You're an EMT. If you told one of your patients that you could save them if they'd let you do a certain procedure, or give them a medicine, and they still said no, you would still try to convince them, right? I mean, you'd seen it work. you know it works. that's how i feel right now. Scientology works".

"Mom, don't even compare the two. That's ridiculous. Comparing emergency medicine and lifesaving techinques to a fucking 'religion' that you honestly can't show me any proof of actually doing anything is seriously stupid. I'm not even having this conversation.'

Sigh. Anyways, that's part/most of my story. Thanks for reading. :) I'll try to add more as it comes to me.

Post by: NED on March 04, 2010, 07:53:03 AM
Another Scientology success story!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 05, 2010, 11:30:44 AM
               Scientology Philly gets a shutoff notice

From Twitter, via @iphillychitchat: "Tom Cruise needs to pay the PECO Bill @ The Scientology Center on Chestnut St cause they r $1600 in arrears + it's getting shut off Friday." #FB

 Originally Posted by L. Ron Hubbard
"In the case of a tradesman demanding for a bill only slightly overdue you will usually find they have done poor work or slow work if you're at all solvent and paying your bills. Don't say 'We're too poor and we can only send you a little but we will try.' ... Say properly 'I don't see that your bill is much overdue. It takes a bit of time to pay a bill you know. I will check over your account and see if it is all right. And by the way, people who dun us either have insufficient finance to handle our business or something is wrong with their bill. I am setting your bill aside for audit and if you call again about it, we will sever the account."

-- HCOPL of 28 March 1965, "Emergencies and Accounts Personnel

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 06, 2010, 03:30:27 PM
Hello everybody! I blew the Sea Org in November 2006 and i just woke up. Honestly, i experienced the worst nightmare during 8 years, loosing all my money, my wife and my kids. I have been posted as Solo Nots D of P for 3 years and what i saw is beyond reality. David Miscavige's tech doesn't work! In 2006 there was 5,300 Solo Nots Auditors world wide and only 2,100 of them were Solo Auditing. The others were either broke financially or sick with cancer or completely disaffected. Hope that many of you will realize that the actual Scientology is a lie....thanks to DM!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 11, 2010, 09:53:28 PM
Hello! This thread is to answer Tommy Davis’s glibness.

I met Tommy during my second EPF in the Sea Org (actually a 2 months Boot Camp type of EPF), he was eating beans and rice every day, washing our clothes, doing the worst MEST work you can imagine, doing pumps up for hours...because he fucked up a "VIP" cycle.

At that time he wasn’t so proud to be a Sea Org Member, I can tell you.

Now, let’s talk about cancer and suicide on Solo Nots. Here are some data for you guys.

There is a tag status for each Solo Nots auditor:

Green tag: audit 4 to 6 sessions daily and comes on time for his 6 months check.

Grey tag: audit less than 4 sessions daily and doesn't come on time for his 6 month check.

Orange tag: Not allowed to solo audit because of out ethics situation.

Purple tag: Not allowed to audit because of illness or sickness.

Black tag: Disaffected with the church.

See the way it works? One starts the level with a Green tag then, depending on his "ability to be Cause over Life" one keeps his Green tag or, follow the dwindling spiral to Black tag.

There are about 5,300 Solo Nots Auditors worldwide and about(depending on their current status):

1,000 Green tags
1,100 Grey tags
900 Orange tags
800 Purple tags
1,500 Black tags

The 10,000 on Solo Nots is just a dream. There is only 1,000 of them auditing regularly.

I was Solo Nots D of P Europe and i personally met the following Solo Nots Auditors. They were all with advanced cancer:

• Roberto B. – Italy
• Antonella B. – Italy
• Beppe G. – Italy
• Lisa B. – Italy
• Sonia B. – Italy
• Pierluigi G. – Italy
• Maria M. – Italy
• Bernard C. – Switzerland
• Jo R. - Switzerland
• Tasa D. – France
• Helene M. – France

There is more, but I do not remember their names.

Before I blew the Sea Org in November 2006,two of them died of committed suicide; Jo R. and Beppe G.

I don’t know if the other ones are still alive.

The majority of the 800 Purple tags and 1,500 Black tags are with cancer.

The majority of the 900 Orange tags committed financial irregularities to be able to “pay for services and/or donations” to the Cult.

Rex Fowler is a typical Orange tag product of the Cult.

You all know the PTS/SP tech “theory”, right?

How many of them had to disconnect from their family and friends because they where the ”SP”?

Why, after an entire bridge people are still sick, ill, criminal, commit suicide, etc..?

Maybe they didn’t find the real SP yet..... or, if they did, they invalidated the read.

At one point every body on Solo Nots had to do or re do the PTS/SP Course GAT.

And the SNR C/S FSO Richard Reiss (pushed by RTC, of course) was constantly harrassing the Solo Nots C/S "because they didn't apply the PTS tech at 100%" during their C/Sing.

Well, a cancerous tumor is not detectable by a SN C/S as far as i know!

I can attest! Beppe G. had a cancerous tumor the size of an egg in his brain while at Flag to "Attest to OT7"! I went with him to the Clearwater Hospital. He was sent back to Italy right away by RTC....

Imagine the Flap if Beppe died in the middle of the Solo Nots HGC!

These data should be widely disseminated. It’ s not a joke. These guys are really in danger.


PS: the medical associations should be aware of this data. Scientology technology doesn't cure cancer....when a cancer isn't detected on time, it's too late. Unfortunalely, from a Scientologist view point, a doctor is considered a charlatan.
love is the universal solvent.....splurge on it!!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 19, 2010, 07:22:01 PM
Arrest puts familiar Tarpon Springs name Fred W. "Bill" Howard back in news

By Rita Farlow, Times Staff Writer
In Print: Friday, March 19, 2010

TARPON SPRINGS — Fred W. "Bill" Howard made a name for himself in his native Tarpon Springs as a real estate developer in the 1980s.

But he left the area after a series of controversies, from his dealings with the Church of Scientology to a failed business venture that ended in bankruptcy, several longtime Tarpon Springs residents said this week.

"He disappeared off the face of the Earth," said City Manager Mark LeCouris. "I hadn't seen him in over 20 years."

Howard, 62, who rose to prominence in the 1980s, made headlines again this week when he was arrested Tuesday at his Tarpon Springs home, accused with three other men of defrauding Florida investors out of $1.3 million by selling fraudulent promissory notes.

The grandson of the late Fred H. Howard, a four-term Tarpon Springs mayor for whom Fred Howard Park is named, he was booked into the Pinellas County Jail on Tuesday and transferred to Sarasota County, where the warrant for his arrest originated, on Thursday.

He was being held in the Sarasota County Jail in lieu of $44,000 bail Thursday evening.

The fraudulent investments were sold through offices and employees of First Liberty Group LLC, where Howard worked as a salesman, according to Mike Morrison, a spokesman for the Florida Department of Law Enforcement.

• • •

Howard attended local schools before becoming a well-known real estate developer in the 1980s.

In 1978, while serving as the president of the Tarpon Springs Chamber of Commerce, he was elected to the City Commission and served until 1981.

But rumors of Howard's connections to the Church of Scientology began to circulate during his tenure on the commission. Howard, some said, was trying to help the church buy property in Tarpon Springs.

"I always thought, for the city, he did a great job," said Jim Kolianos, who served on the commission with Howard. "I know there were some shady things, and we busted him pretty good about being a Scientologist. It was taboo back then."

In September 1980, as some community leaders were expressing their disapproval of the church, Howard released a statement that said he had taken some Scientology courses and had found the church to be "positive" and "ethical."

He later said that he never became a church member and that he decided not to run for another term on the commission because of the controversy his statements had stirred up.

Also in 1980, Howard, called "Young Bill" by many in town, was accused by three of his fellow commissioners of violating the state's Sunshine Law. He was accused of approaching them privately to lobby for a zoning change that would benefit one of his clients. The zoning change was not approved, and the commissioners declined to file a complaint.

Legal and financial troubles began to mount for Howard by the mid 1980s.

He was convicted of drunken driving in 1984 and 1987. In the later case, Howard was later charged with violating the terms of his probation, accused of failing to comply with a judge's order that he remain on house arrest for one month.

In a February 1987 St. Petersburg Times article about the violation, Howard denied the allegation, saying, "It's popular and fashionable to get Bill Howard right now. I'll be glad when that's over."

A judge sentenced Howard to another year of probation with several restrictions on his activities. Instead, Howard chose to spend 30 days in jail.

Between the DUI arrests, in 1985, he was cited for leaving the scene of an accident after his Mercedes was found crashed into a utility pole. Howard was not with the vehicle, but came to the scene later and told police the car had been stolen.

He was charged with filing a false police report, but the case was dismissed, court records show.

• • •

Howard also came under fire for some of his business dealings with Anclote Property Corp., a real estate development firm he formed with lifelong friend John Tsavaris.

When reached by telephone Thursday, Tsavaris said he was too busy to talk, but said he had not heard of Howard's arrest.

"Fred's a nice guy and a good friend, and I wish him well is all I can tell you," he said.

The company developed a solid reputation in the city, where it developed one of the largest subdivisions, built condominiums overlooking the Gulf of Mexico and spearheaded the renovation of the old Tarpon Springs Arcade building.

But by 1986, Howard and the company were in trouble.

Performers and vendors at a spring festival sponsored by Anclote Property complained that Howard did not pay them as promised.

The city paid the bills until Howard eventually came up with the $11,000 about nine months later.

Meanwhile, Howard's company was being sued for nonpayment by various creditors. In March 1987, Anclote Property filed for bankruptcy, listing debts of $12.9 million and assets of $11.8 million.

The corporation was officially dissolved in 1988.

Howard disappeared from news articles and Pinellas court records shortly thereafter.

So, too, did he disappear from Tarpon Springs, those who knew him said Thursday.

Former Mayor Anita Protos said she hadn't seen him "in years" until she ran into him at Publix a few months ago.

"I didn't even know he was back in town until I read (about his arrest) in the paper," Kolianos said.

Rita Farlow can be reached at or (727) 445-4157.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 21, 2010, 11:02:54 PM

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 22, 2010, 08:52:04 PM
                    Skeletons in the Closet

I am writing this to make it known my own personal experience with the physical and emotional abuse I either witnessed or experienced from David Miscavige, including his forcing me to disconnect from my daughter when she was 14 years old.

I also want to make it known that, being staff on the Int Base and in RTC for the better part of 15 years, I have differentiated between Scientology and truth from downright arrogance, coercion, physical abuse and any other scare tactics that were used to control us.

What was and is happening on that base is not Scientology; the destructive activities that are occurring and that so many others have spoken about were never the reasons I became a Scientologist or joined staff in 1983. My purposes were to use Scientology for the greatest good, not only for myself, but for others, which, for me, being a staff member was the ideal scene.

Over the years, life at Int degenerated until finally it had nothing to do with Scientology anymore. It became all about David Miscavige and how he was the only one that could do anything right at that base and “everybody else” was just suppressive and didn’t deserve a life. We were the targets of his continual wrath and black propaganda -- the complete reverse of what Scientology teaches.


Post by: Xenu Flytrap on March 22, 2010, 11:16:27 PM
Great posting from Janelle, but this is Scio... all over. This is what Hubbard did, and the new takeover merchant plus your local OSA Commandant by having you followed, false reports to Police and setting private eyes on you. The Tech we were following is the hook and resemblance of something worthy to follow. All the rest is meant to keep prying eyes away and discourage ones that may look to closley and see it is organised crime hiding behind a clergyman's collar. A brilliant way to run organised crime. Just hope the Mafia dont think of it. What a way to extort people.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 25, 2010, 05:10:16 PM
 A chance to hear Ron as you`ve never heard him...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 25, 2010, 06:11:13 PM
                             4th/ 5th and maybe more Episodes

For those who may have some idea of my location; these stories come from my time mostly on and off staff from 1980 thru 1997. I have said it before, but for emphasis; I would be on staff - take as much crap as I could but balanced by always getting hatted or trained - leave for awhile, (usually months) come back but on a different post, try that part of the Org Bd, get pissed off and go - come back etc. and this went on until (brief recap) I got into that ITO mess, told to leave, left and got declared an SP because I left. Maybe it was cause I made the ESTO mad.

The basic reason I was allowed to go and come back was because I always got stats and even when I was shuffled off to ethics because I told someone off, I had a real good handle on "Call In". So no matter what, they could put me on the DAMN PHONES and I'd outflow my brains to try to gain some space and pull myself out the spin. It usually worked 'cause of so many great public in the area that I could just call and bullshit with and then they'd send a few dollars for the event or attend or buy a book or whatever and I could buy my way out of purgatory

The other thing I did was recruit. Yup, I did it. Getting off overts is good for the soul, so lets hope this works. I had some mad skills at getting people to sign up for staff. It started out I was trying to do the on-policy thing to get my own replacement, make them a deputy, and plan my escape. Then HCO would come and rip them off - cause they were "expeditors?"

For a frame of reference, I can remember somewhere in the neighborhood of 30 people for our Org and about 10 I guess for the SO.

I made up my mind after the first couple that this had to be done in-league with HCO or I'd never get out. This was during my first post, by the way. I got in-comm with the top guy (anyone you know?) and told him of someone who I met in Div 6 that looked like they would like to join staff. Off we went together after course one night and low and behold the person joined up and I had myself an compatriot. We had mutual public friends also and that worked.

We got more in-comm as the cycles multiplied and he and I became fast friends. Mostly because I let him know how I started recruiting and he was totally honest with me and said, well if you don't get them hatted fast enough, I'll get ordered to just go and take whoever you have recruited. He laughed and I laughed and realized "I" would have to recruit in excess and we laughed about that too So many cycles we did together. And good news for the readers, many years after I left the Org he did also and so we have both been saved.

That is mostly for you Wisened One, so you could get the idea of how it went in a nutshell. You probably heard stories anyway, so it'll be fun to see how they match.

GT - if you only had that old Caddie, we could probably sell it on e-bay for a boatload of money So much happened in your area after I left. I read you wall of fire and got pretty choked up. Its personal for many reasons and having stood in your kitchen trying to get Rick to go down to the Org years earlier was just one of them. Same deal back then. Kudos for the guts to hang in there, but really glad to hear you are on such solid ground these days. Love to read your posts and thanks for all your groove in help.

For I'm Out, I have found alot of common ground in reading your posts as I've been discovering the board and appreciate your comments on mine. Thank You.

Mest Lover, yes, yes, yes that was his name. Thanks for helping me remember. So now we know we were in the vicinity at the same time. And I do have a recollection of Howard Stern in the morning.LOL

telepathetic I'll be searching for the "Avatar" he- he - he you still crack me up; alot.

And for whoever asked I forgot but I am a Gran'Ma with one adult daughter and three grandchildren. Thus, my Avatar.

So the story for this time kiddies ( I can say that now after all I'm 66 yrs this lifetime ) goes back to the early days of my connection with the Org. I had been around for a short time, maybe a few months. I was really interested in this group. Never had much use for groups prior to that. And I was hanging out after Self-Analysis Class and making friends.

A group had gathered in the parking lot, maybe 4 couples and 5 or 6 single people just milling around smoking cigs and talking crap. One bright idea sparked everyone into action. We all piled into cars in random order and headed for the beach. We ended up out on a piece of public beach, not very well known, that we had to drive through some scrub pines and narrow winding dirt roads to find. Yet, the coolest part is that it jutted out into the Bay and had really mild lapping waves
and a wide clean beach area.

Someone started a bonfire and a several 6 packs of beer got put in a pile and laughter and singing and a couple of young over testosterone ravaged youngsters started climbing some palm trees overhanging the beach. It was hysterical to all.

Suddenly a girl came running from the woodsy area where the sea grass was very dense and she whispered, "I think people are watching us." A very brave "old" OT7 guy stood up and motioned for a couple of the older guys to go with him. They went off down the beach. Since the only light we had was the bonfire, you had to look toward the horizon to get a glimpse of what looked like several dark shadows coming toward them. They stopped and we could hear talking but the sound of the waves and the wind blew through the words and we couldn't hear clearly.

Then they came trotting back and the OT7 guy said, "We have to go - NOW." Good firm intention and we got it, out went the firm, beers left got swooped up, girls grabbed their guys and we all headed for the cars. I caught up with OT7 guy and asked him what the deal was, he said we had stumbled right into the middle of a military training maneuver and they were really mad. Later on we would all speculate that it was probably some undercover guys trying to bust some drug ring smuggling by boat - well it could have been and that made a way more exciting event.

Anyway that began my first introduction to "The Guardian's Office". The story carried itself all the way to the A/AG, Larry for those who know the time period and he had to talk to everyone there to get to the bottom of it. I felt pretty scared that some fun on the beach was being viewed as some sort of bad thing. This whole idea of "pulling it in" was new to me and I hadn't pulled in anything that I knew of. We went round and round and I was told it would be in my best interest to have a quick session just in case I had some fears about the military lingering.
About what for Pete's sake????? Now I had an ethics folder and I was on The Guardian's "LIST", it would be revealed to me some 10 yrs later and after it had become - yes, your favorite The Office of Special Affairs.

Then came the Sec Check (my first in a historic series of one every 6 months or so). I didn't have a clue. The guy who did my Sec Check was using one of those old Mark IV meters with the wooden box, very cool I thought. He was nice, I didn't get it and we talked after session for quite awhile. He said he thought I would be a perfect choice for a group that helped people get off drugs. So I got more intrigued as the idea developed in my head.

I would be perfect because I had done drugs, stopped doing drugs and I would understand these kind of folks. His name was Mario and his wife worked in Qual, he was an FSM and an auditor for Narconon. Having passed my Sec Check I guess was reason for me to feel qualified to become part of the group.

I would eventually work at NN but after doing my Purif and DRD and attesting to the State of Clear. And that is another story for later.

For today, you should know that it wasn't until a guy I befriended and who would later become a double agent of sorts working for OSA while inflitrating CAN, took me aside and told me many writeups of my actions while being a public, an FSM and a staff member were in my OSA file. And even later my name would come up for no reason at all in a lawsuit involving CofS. So its good to know if you have anyone IN who thinks the only folders they have are "PC" and "Ethics", probably not.

More later . . . . . . . .
Livin', lovin' and laughin' - its really OK!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 26, 2010, 04:55:26 PM
FinallyFree is a recent Scientology escapee, second generation. She has spent the summer working her way up to telling her family that she's done with the cult, and the results have been encouraging. Both her parents understood why she was leaving and promised they would not disconnect from her no matter what. Her sister was in the middle of an intense course while this was going on.

The sister just sent her an email finally promising that she will never disconnect either. It took a little while because she wanted to be absolutely certain before making the promise, but she's sure now.

FF wouldn't have felt like she could get out, and her family wouldn't have the freedom to stay in contact with her without Anonymous putting pressure on the management.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 27, 2010, 02:05:07 PM
                        MICHEL - CAUSE RESURGENCE RD FRAUD!

I have been working for 6 years on the Super Power Building Designs and here is a concern I would like to share with you.

The SP building is composed of 7 floors and at the 6th will be delivered the so called “Cause Resurgence Rundown”.

This floor has a running track with a pole in its center.

People will run 5 hours the day, while taking vitamins, salt and mineral supplements, until they reach the point where "they have a realization that they are in control of their own body and mind.''

People run in the dark and the pole has an orange backlight system.

The main donators for Super Power and Cause Resurgence Rundown are OT7 and OT8 and should be the first to receive these Rundowns.

Now, here are my questions:

Imagine people in their 60s, 70s running 5 hours the days. How many are going to get hurt or die?

Are we sure that there will be a medical support on site?

For those who gave a $35,000 “Gift” to CSRT, for running 5 hours the day, are they going to be refunded if they don’t “qualify” for medical reasons?

Do people who paid for the SP Project know that they are going to run 5 hours the day during the Cause Resurgence Rundown?

Are the above questions the reason why the SP Building is still not open?

Why Laurie Webster is still fundraising for the SP building, then?

Hope that the Cult will be shut down before more people get hurt.

Post here...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 05, 2010, 09:38:19 AM
                                             THE PIT

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 07, 2010, 12:07:08 AM
I know that I speak for a lot of similarly minded folk when I say that Heber Jentzsch is one of the most special  people I have met and worked with.  Mike Rinder feels the same way. Mike has written an article describing what became of Heber at the hands of Miscavige. I was witness to much of the pre-hole history he recounts. I was gone by the time Heber was jailed by Miscavige and Mike recounts that sad history. For those who knew Heber this will hurt. Sometimes, truth does hurt. But, at the end of the day, it is truth that will set us free. This particular bit of truth has motivated me to dedicate a portion of every day from here on out to freeing Heber until that is accomplished.  If some internal personnel with a conscience comes across this, please communicate to Heber that my house is his – we’ve got a room for him on the water, in a place where he can sing to his heart’s content and reconnect to the thousands who love him.


 by Mike Rinder

After watching the AC 360 series many have wondered: “Where is Heber?”  His absence  was magnified by who Miscavige did send forth as cannon fodder to respond to his crimes:  four obviously rehearsed ex-wives who made fools of themselves by repeating lines given to them by Miscavige and received unanimous derision on the AC 360 blog;  “Teflon” Tommy Davis who has been caught in more lies than Baghdad Bob and looks more and more like (dare I say this, after he made such a big point about me selling cars for a living) a sleazy used car salesman;  and a bored, disinterested looking NON Scientologist tax attorney there to field the “tough” questions about Scientology tech and policy that Tommy couldn’t handle.  As everyone knows,  Heber is far more accomplished, competent and likeable than any of Miscavige’s new puppets.

So, where is Heber? Why isn’t he out there representing the C of M?

The answer is simple:  Miscavige hates Heber.  He has said many times that Heber portrays the wrong image of “his” Church.  Heber is too old (but not too old to send to the Hole….).  Heber doesn’t feel the need to dress like a window mannequin for Barney’s.   Heber is “stupid”.  And Heber knows too much.  Unlike Teflon Tommy,  who was never at Int, Heber has not only witnessed Miscavige brand physical and mental abuse ™, he has experienced it firsthand.  Miscavige cannot afford to put Heber front and center because he might just tell the truth.  And I know how that goes – me having to lie to the BBC about Miscavige beating people was the straw that broke the camel’s back and I walked out while in London.   (So much for me being removed from all positions of authority and kicked out by Miscavige when he found out all the terrible things I had done – I was the International Spokesperson for the Church and on the Board of CSI when I blew.  It is true, I didn’t have a post – but then again NOBODY in management did, and it appears to be that way still as Guillaume Lesevre was presented at the “Barnum and Bailey” March 13th spectacle  as “from International Management”  rather than “ED International” because he hasn’t been on post for at least 5 years!).

Heber bore the brunt of much of Miscavige’s ire over the years.  I have seen Miscavige strike Heber on at least 10 occasions.  Miscavige had dolls made in the likeness of Heber (and me).  These were very elaborate reproductions that looked like ventriloquists dolls.  Miscavige would make Heber sit with the doll on his lap and Miscavige would address himself to the doll instead of talking to Heber directly.  This was to demonstrate the “fact” that Miscavige thought Heber “wooden” and “unresponsive.”  (Anyone who knows Heber can attest to how ridiculous this is).  It is all part of Miscavige’s Joking & Degrading and constant denigration of people around him, especially those he considered were some form of threat (and Heber’s popularity with staff and public was a very real threat in Miscavige’s eyes).

The dolls were even flown to the UK for the IAS event where Heber endured endless cruel bullbaiting at the hands of Miscavige.  I only saw Heber snap once, when after hours of Miscavige brand taunting and belittling ™, Miscavige squirted Heber’s face and glasses with contact lense fluid and then blew powdered coffee creamer into his face. This is the level of behavior of the so called “leader” of Scientology. 

But that wasn’t all that happened at IAS event time.  Heber, along with myself and Guillaume Lesevre were assigned to MEST work.   It was surreal, donning a tuxedo to do an international event and then a boilersuit to do MEST work in the woods next to the Saint Hill Manor lake.  And then being thrown fully clothed in the lake (in November).  Miscavige then decided it wasn’t good enough to be “hidden” by the lake and moving us to do MEST work next to the Stables where all Saint Hill staff walked to eat their meals.  It was there that Heber slipped on a log, fell and quite badly injured himself.  Of course, Miscavige blamed that on Heber’s “out ethics”.  (And just a final note on the UK, not really on topic – Guillaume Lesevre and I were assigned to clean the toilets and sweep the halls in AOSHUK , watched over by Security Guards – plenty of public witnessed this). 

Heber is banned by Miscavige from making any public appearances and isn’t allowed  to be in Int events any longer.   So, he has become a “non-person” and is kept out of sight at the Int base.

Heber was the first person from outside the Int base to be sentenced to the Hole.  He was there when I left in March 2007, and for all I know, is still there. I do know NOBODY has heard from him for years.  And while he was in the Hole, regardless of his years of service and his progressing age, he was treated like everyone else:  living in the CMO Int trailer along with 100 others, sleeping on the floor, eating standing up in an office with no tables and chairs and only leaving for 20 minutes once a day for a communal shower in the garage  (unless DM was around, in which case some days there were no showers as nobody wanted to risk DM seeing the SPs in the Hole being frog-marched by security to the garage because it would “enturbulate”  him – though he demanded daily reports to keep track of “juicy” admissions coerced out of people).   Heber was stood in front of the 100 people and “forced” to confess (an activity which I am ashamed to say I took part in) and then derided about his Mormon upbringing and his relationships with other religious leaders (he was labeled a squirrel).  Heber never complained though he was the most senior person in the Hole and the living conditions took a greater toll on him than anyone.

And like everyone else, he was not allowed to communicate with anyone outside the Hole at all.  Not even his own family.  And that for Heber was perhaps the hardest thing to endure.  Anyone who knows Heber knows above all else his high communication level and how many friends he has made over many years.  He is loved by so many because it is impossible to know him and not see the goodness in his heart and his real concern for the well-being of others.  I believe the cutting of his comm lines was the greatest penalty Miscavige could impose on him.

And I must also note that while virtually every prominent executive left in Scientology has put their name on perjured declarations saying that all that has been exposed about Miscavige’s reign of terror ™ is lies, there has been no word from Heber.  When you stoop to the bottom of the rotten barrel to trot out ex-wives to respond to allegations of mental and physical abuse by Miscavige, isn’t it odd that the person with perhaps the most credibility with Scientologists and with the media ISNT heard from?

So, why is he still there?  Well, read the excellent blog by “Back to Life” recently posted on Scientology-cult which incisively explains the circumstances and mindset that keeps good people chained inside a bad scene. And beyond that, Heber is getting extra-special attention.  Because of his popularity and credibility, he has to be kept out of sight.  Imagine the nightmare for Miscavige if Heber was ever freed and able to speak his mind?

That is why you don’t see Heber.

And yes, something DOES need to be done about it.  He is 76 years old, has served LRH and Scientology with distinction and dedication for many decades and in the winter of his body’s life should be living a peaceful existence, pursuing activities that give him pleasure.

So, if you have an opportunity, ask Scientologists, the media, law enforcement or anyone else who may have an interest:  “Where is Heber Jentzsch, the President CSI?”

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 07, 2010, 02:08:37 PM
         What ever happened to Debbie Cook ? (Ex Captain of FSO)

Debbie is married to Kiwi Wayne Baumgarten ex FSC Anzo
Start reading from the bottom of the page.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 19, 2010, 10:41:17 AM

    My journey to Uwe-What would I have done without you ESMB and Anonymous?

The reportage "The Soul catchers" and all I found out about my brothers live I owe to you members of ESMB and you Anonymous.
Without you I would never have been able to meet or even find people who could give me so much valuable information about his life in the Sea Organization.
I do not know how many readers of this thread are able to understand what it means to loose a brother to this cult. What it means for a mother to be hindered in seeing her son for 17 years, only to be able to hug him once in 25 years. To be hindered in helping him against his severe illness. What it means for an old woman to be disappointed again and again because her beloved son was not allowed to visit her for her 50., her 60. birthday despite her son promised to come.
Who understands what it means for me to have lost my brother into nowhere.
Most of the time we didn't even know where Uwe was living. Simply because an old crazy fanatical fraudulent man had decided to create a secret headquarter in the desert where he needs slaves to work day and night for his wealth and glory.
Uwe disapeared into a black hole when he joined the Sea Org - it was not able for his family to get a picture of his life because even when he was not locked up in an RPF he was never ever able to speak freely about his life.

If you have children you love very deeply then maybe you are able to figure out what that meant for my mother.
She knew that he was alive but she learned soon that so many things were hidden from her. Serious accidents, the divorce and finally his severe illness not for "only" 6 but for about 14 years as I just recently found out.

You people here helped me to fill this black hole with the colours of Uwes life because you helped me to find people who met him at Gold or in the RPFs.
The Anons all over the world helped to spread the message about his suffering in the Sea Org and did a great job in backing up Ex Scientologits and victims of this cult. And I was able to meet so many marvellous, genuine, worthy and honest people who helped me with so much love, compassion and
understanding on my long mental journey to my brother.

All this was and is an invaluable experience in my life which I will never forget - and I owe it all to you.

Thank You members of ESMB and thank you Anonymous all over the would - especially to the Anons in Hamburg, Stuttgart and Munich.


In honour of Uwe and my mother I leave this video here - it is from a story about two young women who were killed in another totalitarien system just because they were different and loved each other - and below the wonderful song "I believe" by Eric Levi with lyrics.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 19, 2010, 06:04:10 PM

See the photographic evidence.  Scientology is going down the toilet.

For more....

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 21, 2010, 10:49:01 AM
           Current photos of PAC base  (Big Blue)  17th April 2010

All they need is a bit of tumbleweed to officially be a ghost town.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 21, 2010, 10:57:46 AM
                 2010 child abuse report.

From Anonymous

For comments go here...

Here is the fairgamestop site...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 07, 2010, 06:42:32 PM
Ex Scientology staff member interviewed by Tory Magoo.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 11, 2010, 02:42:38 PM
 My father disconnected...
In November 2009, my dad caught me with the book "My Billion Year Contract" by Nancy Many. This led to a series of heated arguments, as he was in total opposition to me reading the book.

My father thought he could 'save' me by calling in OT 8 Andy Hill to discuss my feelings about my mistreatment in the SO. After less than an hour, Andy had called me an enemy, and went home to report me to OSA.

In early December, CO OSA, president of the CofS Toronto, met with me in her office to find out what my beef was. Again, it got nowhere, and she sent up a CSW to Declare me.

My main problem, even when I was in the SO, was the intense stat push that was occurring, ruthlessly, to sell Basics packages to everyone. Not to help them - really only to make $50,000 each week by thurs at 2:00pm.

My SP declare was done on 13 March 2010. That's just in time for LRH's birthday - IJC wanted to get their stats up. But to add insult to injury, even my declare was only a stat push, really. Otherwise it would have been done by the time limit of two weeks on any justice submission.

There is no sense of justice anymore. But I Guess IJC wanted to go out for a movie, needed better stats, and they put a tear in my family just for that.

My father made me move out after I was declared. He didn't even say goodbye.

It is incredible how they can get good people to do such awful things.

-Wiseman of the watchtower

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 11, 2010, 04:03:43 PM
   Greg and Sandy Wilhere spent time here in Auckland offering guidance
          to the local scios. During the early to mid 80`s.

Greg once ran a Book one seminar here which I attended.  He did some impromptu
auditing on a guy named Jim Lawson. Who stayed Clear.... of  Scientology
ever after.
Sandy once told us that she`d sat next to Glen Campbell on a plane and had
no idea who he was.

One of the more brutal personal stories of how Miscavige handled long duration SO members is the story of Darius Wilhere. How DARE Tommy Davis say there is NO Disconnection !!!!

Greg Wilhere and Sandy Wilhere were both SO members since the early 70s from the Flagship Apollo.

Their son Darius pissed off DM and he was declared a Suppressive Person and banished from the INT Base.

Darius' wife was ordered to divorce him, which she promptly did.

Sandy Wilhere, his mother disagreed with Darius being kicked out and she was subsequently banished to PAC. She is currently a CS at CLO.
She has MS and shivers and shakes when she walks (with a limp), a true testament to DM technology for the last 25 years.

Greg Wilhere, briefly "IG RTC" became an execution go-fer for DM.

Darius, born and raised in the SO knew nothing else, he was thrown out on the street, a declared SP, approx 28 years old and petitioned to rejoin the SO. He was sent to LATAM, to "boom" a Mexican org as further DM penalty.

He takes a bus to Mexico and soon after arrival he is in a catastrophic car accident when his car is struck by another car in a high speed race. Darius is ejected through the windshield and is brain dead for several minutes. He comes alive again against all odds. After he comes back to life, he is in extremely rough shape, with multiple broken body parts and for the next year is bed ridden with a broken back, neck, several ribs, and so on. His parents are forbidden to do anything for him, or communicate with him as he is a DECLARED SP.

Darius sells off every last personal possession to pay for hospital bills. Even though he was born and raised in the SO, and served for some 28 years, he is not given any financial support while 1 billion sits in SO reserves and DM lives like a rock star.


Sandy Wilhere was suffering from sleep deprivation as was common at INT BASE.
So, like others who had accidents due to lack of sleep, Sandy fell asleep while driving.

This was close to INT BASE. She drove into a ditch and was not visible from Highway 79.

Blow Drill occurred and for at least 2-3 days search parties went looking for her.

She was comatose when found, and stayed in a coma for some weeks.

Of course DM ordered GREG to divorce her immediately so he wouldn't be "enturbulated" by this downstat.

Greg Wilhere had eyes for a younger babe Sue Gentry now Sue Wilhere.

This is the infamous Sue Wilhere who tells the St Petersburg TIMES

"David Miscavige IS SCIENTOLOGY"
These are from the comments section at the end of the article called..

Sea Org Children: The Final Solution

Post by: NED on May 11, 2010, 07:40:22 PM
Holy Shit!  More tragedy's. I feel so sorry for these brain washed people.  Very sad.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 15, 2010, 11:20:14 AM
             Knowledge Report on a dying Sea Org Auditor suffering from cancer

Chief Staff MAA
17 Jan 2001

Sen SO Vets Liaison Off
Dept 14 FSO

cc: RTC Inspector for the AO
Sea Has FLB
Sen Dir I and R FLB
Security Chief FLB
Hacienda Batman, Max
Captain FSO
Supercargo FSO
Dir I and R FSO

KR: Claire Reppen

This is a general write up regarding specific Out - Ethics I have observed Claire to be involved in.

I have checked up /seen her about 100 times since I took her on in November, 2000. Every time I see her she is doing the following things:

Putting on make-up
Getting ready to dye her hair
Buying a St. Pete Times newspaper
Plucking her eyebrows
Reading the newspaper
Reading a novel
Drinking coffee with a room mate or friend
Visiting her daughter
Chatting with friends
Giving me bad or critical remarks about RTC, CMO terminals, Security and other crew.
Causing out PR with non-Scientologists

I have only once seen her resting.

I have never seen her exercising, like she is supposed too.

I also have not seen her twinning on Assists even though I gave her various elderlies who were happy to do this with her.

With my other elderlies I handle them myself if they are slack or out ethics. This is my job and any responsible SO member would do the same. When I have tried to take up these points with Claire her response is to write to very high Org terminals and spread black PR about me and natter about how I am mishandling her.

She seems a bit obsessed with reading the newspapers. When I took this up with her she insisted how the paper is not entheta and is informative. This is a bizarre viewpoint for a Scientologist let alone a S.O. member. She also reads the obituaries and tells me who died. This is destructive for her first Dynamic and will not contribute to her getting well. Hacienda Security says that she goes out every day like clockwork just to get a paper. One day she did not get cue as we had to go to an early morning medical appointment and she was very PTPed about getting one later that day.

She is also very addicted to coffee and cigarettes and when she left her coffee at Magnolia she was very PTPed about me getting it to her that day and asked me numerous times to get it as if it was some emergency. She smokes at lot and of course has been told to stop smoking many times by her doctors.

When I take her to doctors offices she is loud, rude, and sometimes curses loudly.

A few weeks ago I got her in with a government official (a Mr. Casisis) who in the past has gone out of his way for the Church and has been very helpful in getting our elderly crew onto Medicaire. (this saves us 100's of thousands or dollars)I have been working on my comm line with this guy for about 2 years and it has been going very good and proven very valuable. Anyway, I was very pleased he was going to see her and fit her in. At this point she decided she was too hungry to do the cycle right then. This was bad as it is extremely hard to see him and can take months to get a appointment for him. I asked the receptionist if had time to get a snack for my friend and unfortunately he went off and told Mr. Casisis that Claire was hungry.

Anyway at that point Mr. Casisis called us in to see him and we sat as his desk in the back rooms of this proper government office. He then asked Claire if she was hungry and I expected her to say no, she was fine. She could wait etc. and to my horror she said yes - and he asked her if she wanted some of his pizza and she said yes. He went off and got her this. Then she proceeded to eat this at /on his desk. It was hot and she used her fingers to scoop stuff off the top and it got messy bad she got tomato sauce around the val docs etc. Then she asked him for a cup of coffee! This was so inappropriate that I could not quite believe it was happening.

This was absolutely creating a shore flap and she should do lower conditions for that alone. This is just one story in dealing with her - just thought that as I kept saying she is troublesome without giving a lots of specifics - I should give some - so there is one story.

Anyway the next day the Hibo capered him with an Italian (he is Italian) take out meal brought to his office and we dead agented this as best as possible.

She also has done some inappropriate 2D stuff, like tightly hugging Ernie, who is 86 and he commented on it and she thought that was funny.

After she got back to the Hacienda she would frequently return to Magnolia. Manor and would spend the day there visiting and socializing. All the time saying she was way too ill to do 2 hours of light desk work 1-2 times a week, as I had asked her to do. She even arranged for them to give her meals there. This was out exchange and of course - out PR.

Also after she was back at the Hacienda for a few weeks she heard that someone elderly from Magnolia Manor had died and she went there and closed the manager at Magnolia to take her to the funeral. I do not even know if she was invited.

Also all these times she goes to Magnolia - she walks. This is outpointy as again she has been "too sick / too weak to work" but can go off around town socializing.

Per security - when her family was here she went off with them for the entire days for 1-2 weeks.

An per security she often goes out shopping at night with Dorothy Cosby.

I also saw that she was writing to the Feshbachs - this needs to be investigated to see if there is something bad going on. In the past she was very social with public and had received inappropriate gifts like a cell phone, and I think a VCR.

While she was at Magnolia she arranged for a public, Sandra Litchfield - to take her out shopping to help her do personal cycles. When I went over this with her and enlightened her on, the current FLB rules regarding fraternizing with public- she did not think she had done anything wrong.

It also should be checked out to see if she has gotten any other special favors or money from public. She has been too open with them - telling how rough it has been and how sick she has been, etc.

She also mentioned to me that her son had sent her money. This should be checked out as he is a recent freeloader.

A main complaint she has is that she has is that she needs to use the bathroom often. When I took her to Tampa to get a green card (to get her on medicaire) I was with her the whole day and she used the bathroom 1-2 times.

I also have wondered if she is faking being ill - so as to not to have to work. I doubt it - but factually her physical universe actions cause me to wonder about that. When I have had eldelies too sick to work they are mostly bedridden, and they dream and postulate about the day they can return to post and serve the group.

Katie Botha, a dorm mate of Claire's, told me she has stolen things and used her things without asking.

There is more - but I think there is more than enough data here for HCO.

This is true

Author unknown

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 24, 2010, 05:23:00 PM
                       Beginning to unravel this ball of string

Part 1

My life in Scientology began as far back as I can remember. My father would tell his kids stories of battles fought out in space, of galactic empires, of the space police and how he created the rings of Saturn. Watching the movie The Exorcist when I was 10 years old he mentioned that he had seen the demon in that movie back in 1978. I believed in reincarnation and the ability to ‘exteriorize’ from my body.
These ideas can be compared to a Christian’s belief in Jesus and what he represented, the story of Eden and Adam and Eve – they are legends which don’t much affect one’s life. They are more of a history and a guide to how we all came to be here on this planet. So, despite my beliefs, I lived a normal life up until the age of 15. I went to the local church of Scientology about once a month. I did a few life improvement courses designed to boost my self esteem or to increase my ability to communicate effectively. These courses worked to some extent.
At the age of 13 my life took a turn. I was doing very well at school and would have gone off to university and landed a pretty good job I suppose. Unfortunately though, a series of events shaped my future. The first and possibly the most crucial one was my father’s death. A month after my mother had a car accident and was temporarily incapacitated my father got hold of a bottle of sleeping pills. He took them with him one morning, parked by a beach, fitted a vacuum cleaner hose to the exhaust pipe and asphyxiated himself with the burnt petrol fumes after downing those sleeping pills. He killed himself on the 4th of July. Independence Day.
There was a lot of grief in my home after that. He left behind an overworked mother struggling day and night to support her two teenaged boys and six year old daughter. I remember her working at the kitchen table at all hours, taking an afternoon nap and other times slumping over her work, exhausted. You could safely say this was the most desperate period of this family’s life. And this is the time they decided to swoop down and break the family further apart – I’m talking about the Sea Organisation, and this is the second event which shaped my future.
Being the ‘elite’ of Scientology’s management structure, the Sea Organization will recruit new staff members to join their crusade: to convert every man, woman and child on the planet to Scientology. They got permission from my mother to talk to her two boys about joining the crusade. They picked up me and my brother – older by a year – and took us to an office where they were to interview us. In fact, they did not interview me at all. They asked me to wait in the next room while the two recruiters went to work trying to recruit my brother. An hour later my brother came out of the interview a changed being. He had decided to join and there was no way to talk to him about the decision. He did not explain why. This was something totally out of the blue. We had not thought about it before, talked about it. I never understood what happened until many years later. And what happened is a very good example of how the Sea Organization operates. They pushed a particular button and used it to trick my brother into joining their cause.
Over the next year I would get calls from Aaron every now and then and always at some point during our conversations he would tell me I need to come over to Sydney where he was living and to join staff with him. He’d tell me how good it was to be there. So, a year after he left the family I left too. Another recruiter was in town and she wanted to see me. She got me to sign the employment contract which stated that I, being of sound mind, elected to dedicate the next billion years of my life to the Sea Organization. Also, that if I chose to break this contract in the future I would become a freeloader – that is, an ex staff member who, after receiving training and Scientology services, would now owe all fees for those services and be unable to continue his or her journey in Scientology until all debt was paid up. I got my plane ticket, left my mum and younger sister and headed over to Sydney to begin my training. I was 14 years old.
My time in Sydney was short lived. A month after starting my basic Sea Org training (called the Estates Project Force) I was not getting anywhere. The first course, called the Basic Study Manual used words too big for me to understand easily. I was bogged down in my studies. I knew that the entire basic training was supposed to be 2 weeks maximum and that I wasn’t even 10% through yet. I knew I was in danger of being ‘beached’ at any time. Instead of that happening though I was further recruited to a more senior branch of the SO’s management structure – Flag Command Bureaux in Los Angeles.
I arrived in Los Angeles with a phone number to call and an address to turn up to – 6331 Hollywood Blvd, the Hollywood Guarantee Building, centre of the upper middle management arm of the church. That was where I would work after completing my basic training program. Unfortunately my problems with study continued and after six months I was still nowhere near finished. So, I got beached – sent back home to New Zealand, to my family.
By then I had been out of school for 6 months. I didn’t want to go back to school. So when Sydney offered to take me back in I said ok and came back. This time I managed to get through the training in a few months. I started wearing the navy style uniform they give you, following the same schedule as the other staff members and taking days off every second week if my stats were ‘up’.
I lasted another five years as a Sea Organization member. I spent about half of that time in Sydney, the other half back in LA as part of the Flag Command Bureaux. It will be very difficult for me to explain what I went through in this time. In order to do so I’ll need to break it down into parts and explain each, then hopefully bring it all together into one cohesive lump of crap. To begin I’ll talk about the history of Scientology as I was taught it and then where the Sea Organization fits in. I wish to make clear from this point that I believe there are evil things happening within Scientology walls and that it stems from the policies and practices of the Sea Organization – not Scientology churches in general. The Sea Organization is what this story is about and the rest of Scientology activities, groups, participants and churches are victims.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 24, 2010, 05:23:55 PM

Part 2

Terra Incognita – The Mind
The title of this chapter is also the title of an essay written by a man named Lafayette Ronald Hubbard – known as Ron by Scientologists around the world. In this essay L Ron Hubbard describes the malaise that all humans suffer from, the Reactive Mind. Supposedly this was written by him in 1948 and presented to a body of psychiatrists in an effort to help guide their processes. After they rejected it Ron decided to write a comprehensive book on the subject which he called Dianetics – The Modern Science of Mental Health. The book was released in 1950 and should be considered (as far as I can tell) as one of the earliest new age philosophies of our world today. In it he describes the subliminal and insidious survival mechanism all animals have which affects us all in daily life – affects our ability to reason, to observe accurately, make correct decisions, to think analytically (the other part of our mind is called the ‘Analytical Mind’).
Dianetics tells us that physical entities developed a survival mechanism called the Reactive Mind. In times of duress and unconsciousness the analytical part of our mind (you could say conscious mind) goes offline and another part, the reactive mind, takes over. While the reactive mind is in control we do not store memories in our analytical mind. Therefore, when we snap back to conscious thought we are unable to access memories of those things that occurred while unconscious. The reactive mind consists of all the painful incidents of our past. In an animal such as a deer, to give an example of what this all means, there was a time when it was foraging in the woods and it heard the sound of a stick breaking as something stood on it. Having no previous experience of a stick breaking nearby, the deer didn’t think much of it. That is, until the pack of wolves surrounded it and tried to eat it. The deer gets hurt but manages to get away. The reactive mind kicked in and recorded this incident. Now, when hearing a stick break, the deer will become afraid, will prick its ears up and get ready to RUN. This is the reactive mind in effect: stick breaking=wolves=danger= pain=RUN AWAY! The deer does not stop to consider other aspects of its present time environment. This is a very simple example of how this reactive mind in Dianetics works and it is known as re-stimulation.
Ron goes on to say that the advent of communication and speech short-circuited this survival mechanism by introducing hypnotic commands into the equation. Apparently anything said during a time when the reactive mind is recording and acting becomes part of the reactive memory and so, later on in life when something in present time has triggered a re-stimulation of previous pain or unconsciousness, anything that was said in the previous incident becomes part of the present crisis. I’ll give an example of this:
Basic incident: a person is riding a bicycle on a road next to a waterfall and gets hit by a red car which causes unconsciousness. The reactive mind is recording what is happening during this time, including the voice of one bystander who says “I think the kid is dying – get an ambulance!” as well as all the other sounds around there such as the waterfall splashing down into the lake and the siren of the ambulance when it shows up. The person feels pain in their leg where the bones have been broken, the person feels scared and weak. The reactive mind is recording the ambulance ride to the hospital, the smell of bleach in the hospital perhaps and all the rest. Over time the pain goes away and life goes back to normal except that there is now a record of pain and unconsciousness.
Secondary incident: the same person is standing over the kitchen sink washing up. Out the window the person sees a red car speed by. At the same time the phone starts ringing. These present time conditions – red car, sound of running water, ringing not too dissimilar to a siren, all subconsciously remind the person of their previous accident. Ordinarily this might not trigger a re-stimulation but as it happens the person is tired from the night before and so closer to unconsciousness than normal. The reactive mind will now come into play with its survival mechanism: similar present time conditions to previous accident = DANGER. And what happens is that the memories will exert themselves on the present time. The person may feel a twinge in their leg, feel unsafe, a strange feeling of anxiety for no apparent reason. Considering the words the bystander spoke “I think the kid is dying – get an ambulance!” the person may suddenly feel their own child is in danger or even that they are closer to death.
So, what is the result of this? Ordinarily the person would probably stop washing the dishes and go to answer the ringing phone to see who it is. They would not be expecting bad news. Everything is normal. However, now that their past incident is in re-stimulation they may decide not to answer the phone because of a nagging anxiety. They may rush to the phone expecting their kid is in hospital. They may decide any number of things. The point is that they are not acting on present events. And they are not in full control of their actions but letting their subconscious control them to some extent. This is what ‘baggage’ from past relationships might be all about. It might also be the reason mum always gets angry when you bring home strange insects or goes bananas when you try to go for a bike ride unsupervised.
Anyway, that all seems reasonable. I’m not saying it is an accurate description of how our mind works but certainly it fits within the realm of possibility. I should also say here that the reactive mind is all about non-confront. Something is too big for one to grasp, too scary, too much effort, too painful – it all gets thrown into the reactive part of our mind where we can’t see it. In Dianetics it is taught that only those things which we fear can actually harm us or control us. To be able to confront is to be in control.
The book goes into great detail about the reactive mind. It speaks of greater and lesser incidents, how similar incidents which re-stimulate previous ones become part of a chain of similar events. The whole goal of Dianetics is to help us understand what goes on behind our foreheads and also gives treatment therapy techniques to resolve and to reduce the power the reactive mind has over us.
This book was immensely popular and was a best seller. Still it is sold in bookshops and you can find it in the local library. Still people read this work and use the ‘co-auditing’ techniques designed to help uncover areas of reactive control. With the success of this book came floods of letters asking Ron to help them on their journey to self betterment. Ron introduced seminars where he got believers to buddy up and start co-auditing each other. Many, many people claimed to have huge successes and whole areas of their lives which had once been problematic resolved themselves and became manageable – from family to friends, work and play, communication and motivation, better memory recall and regained abilities such as better health, fitness, mental gymnastics.
A crucial part of these therapy techniques is to find an incident, run through it – getting the person to remember and run through what happened, over and over until the incident gets full disclosure and becomes part of analytical memory. I mentioned chains of related incidents earlier. It is supposedly impossible to clear the chain of incidents until the very first, the original incident has been found and resolved. If this BASIC incident is not found then the co-auditing will not be fully effective. The key question asked when trying to locate earlier incidents is this: “Is there an earlier, similar time when… happened?” This is asked only when the incident seems to have been resolved yet the patient has not yet displayed some of the signs you would expect of someone who has become freed from their malady or trauma.
So that’s Dianetics – the science of the human mind. Where did Scientology come from then? And how is it different to Dianetics? Well I guess the easiest way to describe the difference is this: Dianetics covers the science of the mind whereas Scientology covers the science of spiritual beings/life force itself. In Scientology this is called Theta. And a thetan is an individual being that contains the ability to perceive and analyze, and to emote. A Thetan has memories too not just limited to the current body and its genetic history but also to the entire Time Track of its whole existence, which runs into the billions of years.
Supposedly, in these early seminars in which people co-audited each other, sometimes a person being asked for an earlier, similar incident would go to ‘memories’ which dated back to before they were born. Enter pre-natal incidents and past life incidents. How do I explain this? I don’t, but I have a cynical theory which could be spot on. The early Dianetic technique asked only for earlier and similar incidents. Well, what if the incident they just ran happened when the person was only 2 years old? There’s not really much room to go any further. But there’s also no room for variation in the auditing technique: the person does not yet display the signs resulting from successful therapy so therefore there must be an earlier and similar incident somewhere, possibly even before the person was born!
A human condition is to reach further than we can grasp. We also like to think more of ourselves than maybe we deserve. “God created Man in his own image” is a pretty good example of our egos. Personally I’d prefer to say that Man created God in his own image ha-ha. Whether we believe we reincarnate or that we are in fact spiritual beings I won’t speak of here, but I will say that there are examples in our lives of things which can be construed as other-worldly or seem to point towards an overall picture bigger than we can easily grasp. Our minds play tricks on our understanding. My theory is that, in this human condition, perhaps a few of the early Dianeticists created a memory from an earlier life to suit the auditing technique being used. They managed to ‘find’ an incident from their subconscious which was earlier and also similar.
Back to the story as I heard it. After a few years of this going on Ron decided there may in fact be recollection other than just what was contained in the mind or in genetics. There must perhaps be a thing called life-force after all. A spiritual being. So he started to write about that too, to research and develop techniques which might address the spiritual being directly. He quantified varying levels of awareness based on an individual’s ability to recall the past, control the reactive mind and act analytically in present time. He described a new thing, called ‘Operating Thetan”, a being sufficiently in control of their thought and action that they were able to make decisions, observe their environment, know truth, operate at a high level of awareness – awareness of themselves and all parts of their lives. He created more therapy techniques and as a result compiled a systematic course of treatments designed to take an individual from anywhere on what he called the ‘Chart of Awareness’ and bring him up the levels to a state called ‘Serenity of Beingness’. While Dianetics could take anyone up to a state of ‘Clear’ (clear of past traumatic incidents to a point where they could act instead of react, also deemed by Ron to be Dianetics’ equivalent to Nirvana in Buddhism), Scientology could take that individual past clear and into Operating Thetan status. The first OT Levels handled a basic incident which supposedly happened many millions of years ago. Ron called it the Wall of Fire and in handling a person on these higher levels the person would encounter deep implants and hypnotic commands which had been specifically placed there in the reactive mind of the spiritual being. The purpose of these implants was to keep the naturally powerful thetan in a state of ignorance as to the true extent of their own power, keep them impotent and manageable. Many people have heard about this part of Scientology: An evil interstellar ruler named Zenu who put all the beings in this sector of the universe through a series of painful incidents and brainwashing, then froze these beings in ice at absolute zero so that they could not escape or emote energies. After freezing them Zenu placed them (us, actually) here on Earth and somehow tied us to a cycle of birth, death and rebirth through physical bodies. Even now we are, at times, pulled back to an implant station situated on Mars where we go through a conveyor belt type of construct where various energies are applied to our spiritual bodies, visual implants are imprinted or re-imprinted on us which keep up the illusion that we are nothing but physical bodies living in a human condition. This may be a good time to mention that our beloved founder of Dianetics and Scientology once made a living as a science-fiction writer.
If this is the story you’ve heard about Scientology – Zenu and the Wall of Fire, aliens, etc. – I urge you to forget about it. Scientology studies are far more involved in daily life and living situations than some outlandish and laughable story about an evil galactic empire bent on domination. If you really want to get a good understanding of what this school of thought is about then you should classify the above story as a drop in Scientology’s ocean.
In England Ron set up the first church. I don’t believe it was considered to be a church at the time – that came later on. The place was and still is called Saint Hill Manor and it lies in East Grinstead in Sussex, England. There, it is said, Ron continued to run seminars, to develop more auditing techniques, refine his ‘technology’ and set up various offices and departments designed to protect against the misuse and subversion of his technology. With groups springing up around the world he codified the techniques he had developed, laid down rules for the safe and appropriate application of these techniques and eventually the Saint Hill Special Briefing Course came into being. This is a course which covers all training and auditing techniques since Dianetics’ inception and the course is delivered to specially selected staff members from groups and churches around the world - all in the name of perfect application of Dianetics and Scientology internationally. All the data contained in this course is enough to enable a trainer and auditor to take a patient (called a PRE-clear, or ‘pc’) to the state of Buddhist Nirvana, or CLEAR. This state is achieved in stages, called Levels – Levels I, II, III, IV and then Level V – CLEAR. Mostly Churches around the world will take the pc up to this level and no further. They are called Class V (five) Organizations for this reason. But there are levels above this, and here is where the Sea Organization comes into being. The Sea Organization is the group I became a part of and it is vastly different to any church or group below it.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 24, 2010, 05:25:58 PM
Part 3

Beginnings of a Cult
L Ron Hubbard used a wide variety of media to expound his trollop. Seminars, lectures, written policies and directives, many books on various aspects of his studies and research, some of it classified and tailor made to fit a particular audience. An example of this classification and targeting of particular audiences is his famous Philadelphia Doctorate Lectures which are a series of talks given to highly classed auditors (counselors) who were already well versed in many of the Dianetics and Scientology techniques of the day. He is a lot stricter in his teachings here than in introductory workshops designed for the newbie - understandably considering we all learn in stages.
There is one lecture he gives which has become widespread knowledge among Scientologists. It is called Ron’s Journal ’67 and was specifically addressed to members of the Scientology public who were already well advanced in their own journey along the ‘Road to Total Freedom’. They were his more fanatical or dedicated sheep. This lecture is now widespread and easily obtainable from your local church or mission and is in fact one of the tools used by Sea Organization recruiters to convey the sense of elitism and higher purpose which the Sea Organization claims to have over regular Scientologists. In this lecture he speaks of evil governments and powerful individuals who control the world through finance, corrupt psychology and psychiatry, population control, etc. He claims they are out to destroy Scientology because of the great wisdom and power it can impart to us all and therefore the danger it brings to the ‘status quo’ which these evil men hope to maintain. In this lecture he speaks of subversive elements trying to undermine Scientology, potential lawsuits against him, the attempts to steal his works and to change copyright ownerships, etc. He speaks as though he is personally in grave danger and that the future of Scientology hangs in the balance.
He also speaks of the Wall of Fire – the first OT Levels, above the Class V State of Clear. He says the materials and data covered in these OT Levels are of an order of magnitude high enough that, if this body of data were to fall into the wrong hands it could spell doom for anyone not prepared for the shocking truth – information so re-stimulative to the reactive mind that it would undoubtedly overwhelm the pc and ruin lives. Ron tells that in order to survive, the higher levels must be well protected from outside forces, that the technology must be safeguarded in pure form, and that the base of operations from where this technology will be delivered must necessarily remain a secret. The organization or group in charge of its safekeeping must remain ‘Fabian’ – this basically means un-traceable, un-catchable.
Here is the creation of the Sea Organization, originally known as ‘The Sea Project’. It began with a single boat called the Athena. Another few boats were added and so it became a flotilla, with Ron as the Commodore. To Sea Org members today he is still known as Commodore L Ron Hubbard. He is still the Commodore even though he has been dead for over 20 years. In this group of sea-going Scientologists there came about a command structure with Commanders, Captains, Ensigns, Lieutenants, Swampers, Petty Officers, etc. Naval uniforms were – and still are – worn by all, particular crews were responsible for various activities and projects. The most important vessel in the fleet was a boat a few hundred feet long named the Apollo. THIS is where a Scientology member could come to have the first of the OT Levels delivered to him or her. This is where Ron continued his research into the Whole Track and developed more techniques for uncovering humanity’s shared history down through the ages. Here he developed , with some help from his research partners, more OT Levels, more hard hitting processes designed to smash away the blocks to awareness and spiritual freedom. The Sea Organization took up the reigns of an international phenomenon called Scientology and managed the whole thing from this one location, constantly moving from port to port, remaining Fabian and unreachable by the evil powers of the world. Ron’s words were like the Bible is to Christians. His words were gold and every utterance was capable of delivering a new understanding of the universe. He was adored by all his servants and really did become a demigod among his people. Extraordinary abilities were acclaimed to be within his realm of possibility – the ability to turn back time, to exteriorize, to astral-travel, read you like a book, move his body so fast it could shatter his bones if he wasn’t careful to observe the limits of stress he could exert on his ageing frame. To Scientologists he was like Buddha is to Buddhists.
Because of the climate of high intrigue there was the ever-present fear of plants – people injected into the Sea Organization who were double agents, spies, subversive elements. Rigorous lists of questions were asked regularly to the members of the Sea Org. Each member was to observe everyone as much as possible and to report on any ‘out-nesses’ seen in other members. Court-martials were happening all the time, ethics handlings were standardized and graded in terms of severity. The first ever Scientology Ethics book was released and distributed to churches and missions around the world. Crimes and punishments were handed out where none had existed before. Rules tightened up in what I can now see as an atmosphere of extreme paranoia. Scientology as a practice lost its innocence and became a very, very serious business indeed.
Conditions Formulae came into existence with the advent of Scientology Ethics. These were assigned to crews, teams, divisions, individuals on a daily and weekly basis and set steps were to be taken for each particular condition. These ranged from Power, affluence and normal operation down to the low conditions of emergency, danger and non-existence. Later, more conditions were added – Liability, doubt, enemy, treason and confusion – these being called the ‘Lower Conditions’. Every staff member was given one or more statistics which they were to control through the actions they performed on their post. An example would be the cook’s statistics of ‘satisfied staff’ who would rate the food they ate that day. A public relations officer might be responsible for keeping the number of ‘shore flaps’ to a minimum (a shore flap is a problem with port authorities or other authority). These statistics were then used to denote ones condition of operation. ‘Up-stats’ were rewarded with liberties such as a day off if it was their week to have a day off whereas ‘down-stats’ were denied their time off, had to find ways to become a more productive member of the team and were used by ethics officers as bait.
These conditions formulae and monitoring of statistics, coupled with an ‘observe and report’ mentality on the ship meant that people did not have a private life. Nothing was sacred and the Command Structure became omnipotent in terms of dictating the life of a crew member. There were strict schedules, punishments and rehabilitation project forces which further limited the amount of freedoms available to the member of that group. One punishment for particular offenses was to be thrown off the side of the ship (and later retrieved). Another was to be deprived of access to one’s own children or spouse.
The atmosphere had changed from one of compassion and fellowship on a wonderful journey of discovery into one of paranoia, hard work, dedication, following orders and doing as you were told. Here I want to say I recently read a book ‘For the Good of All Living Things’ which is a novel written about the Cambodia situation around the time of the Vietnam War. The slave labour camps, indoctrination of party belief systems, civilian spies, penalties and punishments, deprivation of sleep and liberties, reduction in meals or food, instant ethics actions – all these things were present in the Sea Organization when I was a part of it. What was missing and was different to communist parties of the sixties and seventies is only the severity of punishments, of the degree of inhumanities projected onto the population. There are evil things going on behind the walls of Scientology.
So now we see that there are two parts to the Scientology structure. There are ‘public Scientologists and staff members’ and there are ‘Sea Org Members’. One lot operates in much the same way as a business or church would operate, with freedom and little or no oppression. The other part operates in a state of constant supervision, second-guessing, make it go right, threats and paranoia. Perhaps I’ve not yet detailed all these aspects of the Sea Org properly. When I get to my time with the SO I will give some more specifics.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 24, 2010, 05:27:09 PM
Part 4

The Sea Organization Evolves
In 1982 the Sea Org command structure was revamped. New legal entities came into being. Copyrights changed hands and so did the power to control the Scientology juggernaut. A new company called Religious Technology Centre came into being and with it came a slew of other organizations high on the chain of command. I believe this is the time when the Sea Org really did grow its teeth.
RTC now held the trademarks of Dianetics and Scientology. Anything written for the church which used the words of Dianetics or Scientology needed to be reviewed first and approved by the RTC. Policy was handed down from the RTC to be followed. Changes to existing technology and techniques were made by RTC. To understand the significance of this you must remember that LRH was totally paranoid of others changing his developed technology. He wrote policies and directives specifically against the misuse and alteration of the technology he had created. So for an organization to now have the ability to alter the policy and tech is hugely significant. It would be similar to the hierarchy of Catholicism deciding on an 11th Commandment or changing the wording of the original ten. And in my time I certainly saw many examples of words being changed, entire directives and policies being revamped, processes and treatments and lines of therapy being altered. The Scientology of today is different than it was just 30 years ago.
With the RTC came the Inspector Generals for Ethics, for Tech and for Admin. These highly ranked Sea Organization members were responsible for safeguarding their respective areas of LRH’s writings. In order to achieve compliance to their directives they had a committee of ‘Watch Dogs’ – other, nearly as highly ranked officers who each policed a particular arm of Scientology activities such as book production, non-secular groups, class V organizations, missions, training organizations, etc. In turn these watch dogs used another arm of the command structure to monitor activities in churches around the world – the Commodore’s Messengers. These messengers were attached to Sea Organization branches around the world and actively policed the goings-on of the members of middle-management, upper-middle management, international management and the Sea Org delivery organizations taking people into the OT bands of Scientology processes. The management of book production and sales fell to Bridge Publications, Inc. The production and sale of Ron’s science fiction writings fell to New Era Publications. The handling of all legal issues became the domain of the Office of Special Affairs. The day to day running of all groups, missions and churches was the domain of the Flag Bureaux. Many of these are legal entities on their own. So to attack the Church you really are not attacking more than a small part of it. Legally they are very savvy.

Let’s Make Some Money

So how does the church make its money? There are many ways, the most obvious one being exchange for services delivered to public Scientologists. Let’s say I’m a relatively new Scientologist looking to move closer to total freedom and serenity of beingness. I was a drug addict in the past so there are toxic deposits within my body which have affected my mental and physical ability to recall past events. Having spent a lot of time in mind-altered states I have successfully turned my neural pathways into a plate of spaghetti. There is a way to fix it, they say – DO THE PURIFICATION RUNDOWN! It’s a course of treatment specifically designed by LRH to re-nourish your body, sweat out toxins, de-tox your body and mind. Until you’ve done that one you’re in no condition to go further up the chart. $3,000 later you’re feeling pretty clean and fit, physical problems such as skin disease, fatigue, etc are no longer present, flashbacks from drugs are a thing of the past. Now you’re ready to do the Scientology Drug Rundown – the companion to the Purification Rundown. The Purif handles your body and the Drug Rundown handles the mental aftermath of those drugs. $1,500 later you’re ready to really get going. Level I auditing de-stimulates the more pressing incidents from your past. Level II gets off all those feelings of guilt, blame, shame and regret from past transgressions, etc. Finally you get to the State of Clear and can buy a silver bracelet to prove you made it. We’re talking many thousands of dollars by this stage. The further you go the more expensive the services become. I know of people who’ve spent upwards of a million dollars getting to higher OT Levels. The money is said to pay for time spent by the auditor and case-supervisors in handling your particular case and to keep the church operating.
Another way they make money is through straight donations for particular causes. “We want to get the technology of Dianetics and Scientology into every library in the world!” Every dollar you donate helps. “We need to fight the IRS in court!” Donate to the Church of Scientology War Chest. “We need to preserve the tech against nuclear holocaust!” Donate towards this cause and we will make long-lasting copies of LRH tapes, lectures and books which we will then bury in secret locations around the world, to be dug up and re-discovered by man after the nuclear fall-out and dark-age has ended! “We want to get the tech into schools, every dollar you donate helps.”
The most fantastic money making scheme they’ve come up with is probably that nuclear holocaust one but I think the most audacious of all is one they came up with a couple of years back. If I was still a Scientologist then I would have found my faith sorely tested here. It goes like this:
I’ve already said that a participant in Scientology follows a set path of levels and grades in order to achieve their spiritual freedom and re-acquisition of lost OT abilities. It is common thinking in the church that the misapplication of the tech at a lower grade will inevitably cause problems later on in the road to total freedom. Each course and service has a stated result to be achieved in the pre-clear. Once attained, the next level can begin. Well, I watched a DVD that was given to me of a Scientology event where the head of Scientology describes a typographical error that was made in the original printing of a basic course all Scientologists must do early on in their journey. The typographical error had been around for decades and it involved a minor point in understanding the overall gist of the course, which supposedly meant that anyone who had done this course had, in fact, not fully attained the end result of that course. This meant that their path to total freedom since that time has been off-track by just a little bit. This also meant that anyone who had since gone on with another 10 or 20 years of Scientology courses and services had, in fact, not really achieved the end result of any of those subsequent actions. So someone who had supposedly achieved the level of OT III, or OT VIII was now no longer qualified to that level. In order to continue their journey up the chart to total freedom they must correct the original mistake, and to do that they had to complete a mini extension-course for each of those levels since the original typographical error! And don’t worry, these extension courses cost money. Talk about double-dipping. And by the way, ‘typographical error’ is nearly always the excuse given when a policy or technical bulletin or course is changed. Other excuses are ‘we have uncovered in someone’s attic some ORIGINAL LECTURES by L Ron Hubbard’ or, ‘the original version was corrupted by someone who has since been identified and excommunicated for trying to alter LRH’s tech. Here is how it should have been written….’
One might ask, as many in fact do, why the technology which exists to free every living soul in the universe is being sold and not distributed freely? The answer, as described in a policy letter from Ron, is that people who receive a free service will not value that service. Therefore it won’t work on them. This, despite the words of another policy letter from Ron where he says that a participant needn’t have faith that it’ll work: so long as the tech is applied correctly it will have the desired result. These appear to be contradictions which each serve a particular purpose: one says freedom shouldn’t be dished out freely (so we can make money) and the other says you don’t need to believe it works for it to work anyway (lucky, since it’s kind of hard to take in on faith).
And where does all this money go? My experience is that a standard 30-40% (I can’t remember which) of the gross income of an organization will be sent up-lines to the senior offices, this portion being called ‘reserves’. When I was on the financial planning committee in Australia for the continental office I saw every week that 30-40% went up-lines. This was true regardless of other considerations. Often this happened despite the fact we staff members – due to low gross income for the week – received only quarter-pay or half-pay, sometimes no pay at all. Full pay for the week was $30. So sometimes we’d get $7.50, $15 or nothing. This was to pay for our personal hygiene needs, uniforms, cigarettes, coke and entertainment on our occasional days off. So, up to 40% goes to reserves. But what are you talking about? When reserve money is needed they do all these donation drives and evangelistic visits from Scientology celebrities gathering groups together to talk about what exciting things are happening in Scientology and how you can be of financial assistance to them. Where did the 40% go?
(Note: I used to consider myself an intelligent person. How could I miss these signs for five years? I realize now that an idiot has no way of knowing they are not that smart.)

This is the start of my unraveling ball of string. I am writing this as a comprehensive understanding of what I believe the Sea Org's relationship to Scn is, as I am asked so many questions by so many people. I welcome any feedback.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 28, 2010, 12:39:13 AM
Standing Up to Be Counted
Synthia Fagen

Hello my new amazing friends. I hope you find this story interesting enough to read as it isn’t “sexy”, full of danger, abuse or torture but it is a story of a disgusted member of the “rank and file” that may give solace to those who have been fighting the battle for years. You are, indeed, winning.

I have been contributing to this blog, and to Marty’s, as “Elizabeth” but have not officially stood up to be counted. So, I thought now would be a good time to give my story and to let the C of S know, in no uncertain terms, that I refuse be a cog in the wheel of the crime syndicate any longer. I will not be used. I will not be lied to. I will not give up my individuality to be herded like an unthinking robot to carry out the dictates of a cold and greedy machine.

I have been helped by Scientology. I am sure almost all of us could make that same statement and yet, therein lies the rub. A very good friend of mine recently made the observation that Scientology was like a yummy, delicious, 7-layer cake laced with arsenic. I find that description fitting.

In 1985, in Chicago, I became a Scientologist. Grateful to find this wonderful group and a real purpose in life, I would consider the experience valuable as, among other things, I am now married to a wonderful man as a result of reading Dianetics and walking through that door. You could even say that Scientology saved my life. I was a self destructive druggie on the wrong path and might have wound up dead had I not reigned myself in and found this new “science of the mind”.

My personal dwindling spiral reversed when I got auditing and joined staff. So why would I want to discontinue something that saved my life, gave me purpose, and got me off the road to hell?

My story follows:

Six months ago, in November of 2009, my staff contract was up and I did not re-sign. Though I was expected to come back I knew I never would if my concerns were not addressed. They never were.

I was the IAS Membership Officer (of all posts!). My husband was, at the time, the Chief Academy Sup and had been on staff for 25 years straight. During this last staff contract, the Basics came out and that was the beginning of the end for me as this is when the group engram was laid in.

The Basics evolution was, in my opinion, insane. Where outpoints in the church and its management were not new, here they were coming at us full force, with a vengeance and with a ferocity and velocity that I had never experienced before and it was NOT FUN. Now, DM and the “quota mongers” would state that this was straight up and vertical expansion. After all, the staff were not doing enough so “get used to the rocket ride baby cause we’re clearing the planet for real now”. Unequivocal hogwash.

The insanity begins:

The Basics were to be announced at the Maiden Voyage events in 2007. The staff had to be bonded and were given a briefing right before the first event so that we would understand the magnitude of the release and therefore the importance of getting the HIGHEST EVER attendance. The call-in for this was nuts!

We invited people who had no business being there. We would call until 10:30 pm and sometimes later. It was okay that people who could only speak and understand Spanish were invited in droves (even though the event would not be translated) just to get the body count up. It was okay if raw public and even public right off the street with no prior reach were invited, just to get the body count up. During call-in I would bring up the logical argument that I did not agree that we should be inviting people who could not speak English just so we could have a warm body in a seat. This was ignored. It seemed chaotic and not thought out at all. No one seemed to care about the PR consequences. We would “burn that bridge when we came to it”, so to speak. When the first event finally aired, we had many people walk out and I felt bad for them, giving up their Saturday night, getting all dressed up, only to be scammed by the C of S and made to feel stupid for not understanding.

Staff of a spiritual crusade or glorified telemarketer?:

Next came the real organizational psychosis: The sale of the Basics.

The sale of the Basics turned our staff into telemarketers morning, noon and night and pulled them off their regular posts. Instead of Musical Chairs it was a daily teeter-totter where the bulk of the staff members time was spent on Basics sales and the rest of the time trying to squeeze in regular care of the public where they could. New Div 6 public were looked on as a minor nuisance, in certain ways, as they were sitting right in the middle of all the action and so we had to “be careful”of what we said. We would handle these people as quickly as we could so we could get back onto what really mattered – the stats we had better have at the end of the night. Those stats were not the number of attested clears or new people on service, I can tell you that much.

Over many months, all that really seemed to matter was how many Basics packages were sold. Not just books, but packages. The HES and BSO, seriously, were called every 15 to 30 minutes by Bridge and Gold. They had to know what everyone was doing, in regards to Basics sales, at every moment. No one was asked about PCs or students or releases or attestations or any service stats. People onlines who had not purchased the whole package (3,000.00) were literally hounded and ganged up on by tag teams that included top SO members from the CLO who would not let up on the person until he/she purchased. It got ugly.

I am realizing as I write this that I could go on and on for pages. To shorten this up, what I saw during this time was insanity and outright criminal behavior. Here are some of the following activities that made me start to doubt what I was involved in:

Mega financial irregularities/Criminal activity:

Public accounts being debited, at Flag, for thousands of dollars to pay for multiple sets of Basics that they never approved.

Boxes of Basics just showing up on people’s doorsteps unordered while being debited off account without permission (someone’s stat push). One such was an 84 year old woman who did not know what to do with all the many boxes outside her door. She lived alone.

OT Committee members and others with wealth being hyped up and asked to purchase multiple sets of Basics to sell to others. This was only to get the stats up and like unused stock from some multi-level marketing scam after the greedy emotion dies down, the books sit in the people’s basements untouched and unsold.

MAAs and other “non-sales” people willing to have a conflict of interest, essentially extorting money from the public, by insinuating or outright telling parishioners that they could get through the lines faster if they donated money for libraries or sold Basics packages to their friends.

Stat pushes with little or no result:

Event after event to get library donations to, again, get the stats up. I live in Chicago with a huge library system. Very few of the libraries carry LRH’s books here. They still kept their old books and, of the new that they do have, few are in all of our libraries and they are not checked out (I am able to check this out online). That campaign was a waste of money and yet it still continues.

In regards to donations for materials, on two occasions I noted that opportunistic means were used to pull heart strings that seemed amoral to me at the time. One was using the earthquake in Haiti and the other was using a raid on the church that had happened weeks before but was made to seem like it just happened and in both occasions books, quite frankly, were not the immediate solution.


People being called non-stop, daily, no matter how many times they asked not to be and, after being harassed by the org, being put in a stack of “ARC X” folders. One gentleman told our ED that he literally felt so depressed that he thought of taking his own life because of our unrelenting calls. He said he counted that one day, he received 63 calls.

DM pulls it all together for us:

At some point during this insanity, DM makes the 1.1 statement to all of us, somewhere along this line, “If this feels like drudgery or slavery, than you’re doing it wrong because Scientology is supposed to be uplifting, exhilarating and exteriorizing.” How very clever of him to know and spot exactly how we were all feeling but could not express (as it was deliberately being caused) and then indicate to us all that we were DOING IT WRONG. So, just as staff may be getting ready to tell management to stick it where the sun don’t shine, he pulled the old introversion trick.

Oh, there’s so much more. Lots of cross orders and cross regging and impossible money targets and I could go on and on. I felt like everyday on post was all about money and I was engaging in behavior that I felt wrong about just so that I wouldn’t appear reasonable or off-purpose. I started to lose self respect.

Doubts are creeping in:

Each day, for quite awhile, we would chinese school the many Basics package prices. This insipid inculcation literally made me nauseous and the crass commercialism felt so “unspiritual” that I longed to just sit in some temple and burn incense in peace. I went to qual to complain about the non-spirituality of it all. Understandably, the Qual Sec knew not what to do with me. I thought to myself, many times, “What am I doing here?” About this time, too, Anonymous had left a note on the window of our org that stated, “It’s okay to have doubts.” I realize, now, that had an effect on me.

The veil is lifted:

Because I was so unhappy and knew something was really wrong, I told a staff member that I was feeling critical toward DM and management. This was my own personal observation but it was thought that I must have gotten some Black PR that I didn’t even realize. I knew that I hadn’t because I had dutifully, for 25 years, avoided and swatted back all bad press and all negative comments on the Internet. I just hadn’t gone there. I knew nothing about DM’s behavior and crimes. I just didn’t like what I saw right in front of my own eyes.

It was thought that I should go to the DSA and get the Freedom Magazine dead agent pack on DM as a handling for the “possible hidden insidious Black PR” that got on “my lines”. This was a mistake to have me read this but I am glad it was suggested as it led me to the truth. I knew nothing about Mike Rinder and I had never even heard of Marty or Tom DeVocht and since the magazine only called these people Fact Checker, King Pin, and Con Man, I still didn’t know who they were talking about….oh, oh, mystery sandwich.

So, I sat down and read through this and I was appalled at how nasty the tone of it was and how unprofessional, juvenile, and creepy it made our upper management look. There was no denial of a culture of violence and it was all just a matter of who was perpetrating this violence. Until then, my mental picture of Int was that of a pristine organization of truly sane, kind, caring, and OT beings that would never, ever allow that type of behavior for a nanosecond. This was quite a blow. When I realized the whole shooting match was being run by a bunch of bozos I felt a sense of anger and yet, a sense of absolute relief at the same time. This was the beginning of connecting all the dots so that everything made sense to me. I could tell the church was lying and I hadn’t even heard the SP Times story yet.

Still, I was continuing to be “with the program” to a certain degree. I hadn’t even gone on the Internet yet! I let the cognitive dissonance knock around in my head for a couple of months and then it got so bad that I had to hear the other side of the story, the story of the people that the church was trying to dead agent. So, I turn to the Internet.

First stop: The SP Times, The Truth Rundown:

I watch every video – Amy, Marty, Steve, Jeff, Tom, Shelly, etc. Everyone of them I watched over and over. I could not believe what I was hearing and yet I totally believed them. It was obvious they were sincere.

Well, then I found the SP Times story on Geir, Sherry and Mary Jo and then I contacted Geir who helped me and then Amy took my phone call and then I was on the path of reading and reading and reading and I still have not stopped. I want ALL THE TRUTH.

Will my husband stay with me? How can I not tell him?:

Geir, Amy and Dan Koon helped me to be able to break this all to my husband. My husband is a very, very dedicated auditor and supervisor who loves LRH and has been on staff for 25 years straight.

I finally decided that I had to tell him. How could I live this lie? I let him know that I could no longer support the C of S and asked him to please look at the data I had been reading and the testimonies I had been watching. It took some confront, but once he looked, he really did his due diligence. He did the best doubt formula I have ever seen and he finally told me that he had reached a point of no return and could no longer support the church either. This took many weeks. This is not easy to confront when you’ve devoted your whole life to the crusade. I was grateful he was so sane. I did not want to lose him.

Announcing this to the org:

He and I went and made the announcement to the HAS, CO OSA and the DSA that we felt COB was an SP and could not support the organization and the human rights abuses. This was not easy for them to hear, of course, and to be very honest and give credit where due, we were treated like absolute gold. The DSA did the absolute best job she could do given these horrific circumstances. Though, of course she does not agree, she treated us with the utmost kindness as did the HAS and CO OSA. I have nothing negative to say about our org or our staff at all. We were shown many dead agent materials on all of my now friends, Amy, Steve, Dan, Jeff, etc. and none of it moved us an inch as it was all of the variety of the usual character assassination that is the signature of the church and so we finally had to say that’s that.

In conclusion:

It’s obvious now that what we were experiencing was symptomatic of the horrific unethical and criminal behavior at the top of the org board. It’s funny, I used to rationalize the insane amount of regging by saying to a fellow staff member, “We must really be losing the battle against the SPs” or “We must have run out of time for this to be so engulfing and so frantic.” I would always get lots of agreement on these thoughts, as that was the only explanation that would make sense to a staff member.

Now I know that it was all actually as it appeared – a greedy, desperate and uncaring drive to extract every last dime, hour, and original thought from its staff and parishioners for the aggrandizement and protection of a sociopath who has committed a huge act of betrayal against mankind. It’s also repulsively creepy when you juxtapose the reality of the man against what parishioners actually think of him.

I have learned a lot though and now I understand how I allowed my involvement to hinder my critical thinking skills and I believe it was a valuable lesson. I highly doubt I could be that stupid and vulnerable again. Let’s hope not.

Thank you ALL for bring smart, perceptive, kind and tremendously caring. We miss our old friends. We are counting on this all being exposed to the rank and file soon, so that we can talk to our friends again but, in the meantime, we will sacrifice our comfort to expose these unconscionable human rights abuses. I, for one, am standing up to be counted.

With Love to You All,

Synthia Fagen

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 28, 2010, 04:43:34 PM
Adrian Kelsey

I don’t know if everybody knows me. For those who don’t know me, I am Adrian Kesley, ex-husband of Fransyl Marmolejo, daughter of OT VIII Francisco Marmolejo. I hope that you all remember me and that you also forgive me for my poor Spanish but Spanish is not my mother language.

I spoke to my thirteen-year old daughter Estefania last Saturday and she was crying. For purposes of not lengthening this email I will be very straight forward on what went on while on the phone.

My daughter was crying because she can no longer talk to me. I asked her why, and she said that it was because I was declared a suppressive person. I told her that I don’t have anything in writing and that I was not aware of it either.

Then, while being on the phone with Fransyl she told me that when she was at Flag she was shown my SP declare. I haven’t done anything to prevent my daughter nor Fransyl to practice Scientology but I am going to tell you something that I did do. I spoke out against an incident that my older son went through and the abuses he is getting. I didn’t speak out against the Tech, only against this specific abuse. I only tried to make them take responsibility for this incident but they don’t to talk about it because it is a very bad one. With Scientology, I am mad at the fact that you had to pay to go Clear and now that things were revised and some Clears are no longer Clear, they have to pay again. For me the Tech was 100% standard so how is it possible that it wasn’t. I don’t want to go into all of the details as each one has a different side of the story. What is important to me is that I cannot forgive the fact that a thirteen-year old girl is being put through this painful situation and is being made to disconnect from her father.

The battle has just begun.

Thank you for your time.

Adrian Kesley

(End of email)

Sorry for the translation but Spanish nor English are my first languages.

Dear Adrian,

As a Scientologist I DEMAND that you do not be in communication with any Scientologist until you handle your condition.

Per policy, your line is the International Justice Chief.

Use ONLY this line, and otherwise cut your communication until you have ok to communicate with the rest of the group.

In this email I am informing all Scientologists because Adrian Kelsey is declared a Supressive Person.

Marina Simon

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 28, 2010, 04:45:54 PM
 Originally Posted by Illegal Alien  View Post
Many months ago when I got out of Scientology I sent an e-mail to my daughter roughly saying the following:

I told her that I am no longer in Scientology and that the reasons for that are my own (her mother is in a very strong Scientology family). I warned her and said that one day Scientology would ask her to choose between me and Scientology.

I said the decision is yours and whatever decision you make will not change how I feel about you, I will always be your Dad and love you more than anything in this world and am always here for you.

Well, I just got off the phone with my 13 year old daughter who was in tears as Scientology was forcing her to never speak to me again due to the fact that I have been out spoken about my negative experiences in Scientology.

This is what happened.

We have been planning a trip for my two kids from my previous marriage to come out to Australia for a visit. I have sent the air ticket money and visa documents and they were supposed to arrive in early July. They have been excited about seeing Australia and we have spoken about all the things we are going to do.

A few days ago I got an e-mail from my daughter saying she needs to speak to me urgently, so I called and was met with one of the most - in fact the most - difficult things I have been through in my life.

She sounded really down on the phone and I will try to cover as accurately as I can what transpired.

She said she has heard that I am attacking Scientology and she asked if that was true. I asked her who had told her and she said her mother, she said I had been declared a suppressive person by the Church. I told her that I am out spoken about my experiences in Scientology and it’s all based on my experiences and that I am telling the truth. She responded by saying that I am attacking Scientology and that she cannot further her studies in Scientology if I continue to speak out and would be forced to sever all contact with me as per Scientology policy.

I asked my daughter to put her Mom on the phone.

My ex-wife said that two weeks while they were at Scientology in Clearwater, Florida, she was shown my Suppressive Person Declare. This Suppressive person Declare in Scientology terms basically means that Scientology labels you in writing that you are the lowest of the low, a criminal and against the wellbeing of all around you, and they show this to people who know you so that they disconnect from you. The result is nobody and I mean nobody who is in Scientology is allowed to have contact with you at all.

I told her that I have not seen such a declare on me and my ex insisted she was shown this document. I said “well then why have I not seen it?”.

She told me it was not being given to me for media reasons.

I got straight to the point with my ex asking her what that meant for the trip that was being planned. She said she is not sending my kids over anymore as she does not trust me due to me being declared a Suppressive Person.

A heated conversation followed at which point I asked for my daughter to be put back on the phone.

My daughter is now in tears on the phone telling me that I should “Do it for her”

What she means is that I get back into good standing with Scientology. That “if I love her I would handle this with the Church”.

At this moment my heart is being ripped out of my chest.

She is insisting that if I do not she will have to “disconnect” from me otherwise she will not be able to continue in Scientology.

I reminded her about the warning I had sent her months ago.

I told her this is not me wanting to break our bond nor is it you, take a look what your heart says, this is somebody else - the Church - saying we cannot be together. I am not forcing this situation on you and vice versa, Scientology is forcing this on us.

I told her everything that I have spoken out about is from my experience, they are things within the Church that need to change. I told her I do not expect her to understand yet and for that will not get into all the reasons.

I used an example saying: If you are at school and you see a teacher abusing a child and nothing gets done about it and you go to the principal and tell him and he denies it and then the abuse continues. So you then go to the School inspectors to report what you have witnessed and as a result you get expelled from the school as an out of control student.

This is what is happening, I told her I cannot sit and watch Scientology spokes people talk on the TV and know they are lying and do nothing about it.

With tears on her side of the phone and me fighting back my tears she insisted I return and I replied I will not return to Scientology however I respect your decision to continue studying scientology and will not get in the way of that and never have.

I have never told her anything bad about Scientology only that I was out.

I did this specifically as I knew Scientology would pull out their heavy hand and rip another family to pieces.

Well boy was I wrong. They still went ahead, getting a 13 year old girl overwhelmed by tears to call her father and say she will not speak to him again until he is in good standing with Scientology. It’s beyond reason that this could even be asked of anyone let alone a 13 year old girl.

Now my 10 year old son does not get a say in this either. He becomes a victim and maybe not fully capable of understanding what is happening but regardless of how he feels he is forced to lose his father and is helpless to the heavy hand of Scientology.

This conversation went back and forth over an hour and it ended with my daughter well and truly in tears telling me not to contact her until I was in good standing with Scientology.

My heart was literally lying on the floor, shattered, I was deflated and slumped down on the couch.

Do you want to know why we protest, do you want to know why people speak out and risk so much to get the truth of Scientology out there?

Well this story is why we protest, we protest because a “Religious” group has policies and uses them to rip thousands of families in two all in the name of “Religious Freedom”.

You show me another group in this world that forces people to break up the most precious and basic unity there is in this world, the family.

We protest because of the ABUSE and we will not rest until it ends……

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 31, 2010, 02:11:20 PM
             Tony DePhillips & Marie-Joe DePhillips Leave Church of Scientology

From Marty (standard disclaimer, see signature below).

Tony DePhillips (Mid OTVII, Prov. Class IV Pre-GAT and Fully Hatted Ethics Officer) and Marie-Joe DePhillips (OT V, KTL/LOC, Level G SHSBC) have left the Church of Scientology.

Although linked in the quoted article below, I'll also provide links here to the relevant Non-Enturbulation Order and E-Mail Exchange. I believe both documents are interesting. Further, while the Non-Enturbulation Order is standard, I think the e-mail exchange is uniquely enlightening.

The emphasis added to the quoted article is mine. My comments follow the article.

The story of former Church of Scientology members Tony DePhillips and Marie-Joe DePhillips (with links to documents) - Seattle Independents:
Declaration of Independence
Tony & Marie-Joe DePhillips
a.k.a. “Alex Metheny” & “Freetothink”


We have always loved the writings of L Ron Hubbard. One of my favorite LRH statements is from the lecture Differences Between Scientology & Other Philosophies: “ If it is true for you, it’s true. And if it’s not true for you, it still isn’t true. Not even if Ron told you is it true. It’s just not true, that’s all.“ ~ LRH

In addition to this as a foundation, the ARC triangle, the granting of beingness, the code of honor and not needing a license to survive, are just a few of the building blocks we’ve used to improve our lives. We have had many great wins in Scientology and know many well intentioned staff and public Scientologists.

How we got here:

Our personal story of shock, disbelief and declare will be added as an attachment for those who are interested. You will be able to see how we went from among the top opinion leaders and contributors in our area to SPs, in just a few months.

After reading The Truth Rundown and Geir Isene’s Doubt formula we were deeply troubled about what was going on in the church. These stories were believable to us because they aligned with many of our own observations and experiences. After trying to communicate about the things that were troubling us in the church, we started to get attacked as ourselves being the problem – for speaking out with any disagreement or questioning. It became very apparent that we did not have the right to say what we were observing in regards to our own church or its management. It also became very clear that we did not have the right to associate with people who the church had deemed were “BAD”. Evidently, we were supposed to give up the right to decide who we would or wouldn’t associate with. To us, these are fundamental rights of an American, fought and died for by many!

I have never been good at being bossed around. Some might think it’s a “button” (problem or character blemish) that I haven’t dealt with yet but, on the other hand, maybe it’s an ability that’s helped me retain my self-determinism and freedom of thought. We quickly realized that we had been PTS to the Church for many years, and applied handle or disconnect. When each attempt to handle was met with bigger and stronger messages to cease, desist, and “get handled” (including a Non-Enturbulation Order and ethics interviews), we decided to disconnect by officially resigning from the Church. Our resignation letter to the church pretty much sums it up:

IJC 13 January 2010
Seattle Org Day and Fdn HCO

Tony and Marie-Joe DePhillips

This is a letter to let you know that we have decided to resign from the Church of Scientology.

We have given this decision a lot of thought.

We have both been in Scientology for over twenty years. We have contributed about xxxK to the Ideal Org and over xxK to the IAS. We have spent in the neighborhood of xxxK on services from the Church and donated a decent amount of time participating as volunteers.

We have had some great wins.

Over the last few years however we have noticed more and more things that we do not like about how the church operates. Heavy ethics, make wrong, heavy regging etc. We have made attempts at correcting these things with reports with no result.

We have seen and heard of too many abuses, human rights violations, misuse of resources [people, money,…], and worst of all, too many LRH policies being violated. We can’t, in good conscience, continue to participate and support the church as it is being managed at this time.

After making our own observations and hearing the stories of Marty Rathbun, Geir Isene, Mike Rinder, Amy Scobee, Jeff Hawkins, Mary-Jo Leavitt and many more Sea Org members, OT’s and highly trained auditors, we have made our decision.

We have always been told that these people on the internet were crazy SP’s. After hearing their stories we were not able to come to that conclusion. We were shocked to realize that many who had been painted to us as evil and suppressive were in fact whistleblowers trying to expose the abuses and violations.

We both have experienced excessive sec-checking and heavy ethics even when our contributions (money and time participating) were showing that we were stellar members of the public.

We love Scientology when it is applied with ARC and not with enforcement to get everyone to conform.

We came into Scientology to find our own self determinism and to have gains. Progressively over the years we feel that we have been forced overtly or covertly to “toe the line”, or follow “command intention”, without being able to use our own judgment or our own ethics. If you do not do what is “expected”, you are shunned/punished in various ways. When you assert your own independent thought and it doesn’t align with command intention you are quickly shown you are not a good group member.

In conclusion, we no longer feel confident in this Church’s ability to operate in a manner that we can be proud of and disseminate to others.

We hope that the Church of Scientology will get it’s ethics in and make the changes necessary for it to be a church we can once again be proud of.


Tony DePhillips Marie-Joe DePhillips

We heard the church lie about its not having a policy of enforcing disconnection – We’d already received many reports of our friends being told not to talk to us.

As someone once said “If they lie about this, what else will they lie about?”

Our conclusions:

After exhaustive research and communicating, we decided that the abuses did occur and that they were and are extensive and widespread. We also saw that the church was actively involved in creating their own enemies and seemed to take very little responsibility in remedying their wrongs. Furthermore, we wondered what kind of a leader would allow these things to continue to go unhandled and in fact seemingly encourage such activity.

We got into Scientology to become more at cause in life and to do better in life based on our own realities. We still feel that this is what LRH intended. We didn’t, and still don’t, believe or agree with everything that LRH ever uttered. But as he himself said, we don’t have to.

We believe that the church is being run in a fashion that, to us, is destructive overall, as well as destructive to our personal goals of being at cause over our own lives. The Grade Chart states that on OT 7 you will be cause over life. That may be possible, but not if the church refuses to let you be at cause over your own church!!

Also, first and foremost to us is the abuse of the Sea Org members. This to us is obscene. These people dedicate their lives to Scientology only to be treated as sub-humans. And when fed up with that treatment and wanting to leave, they are treated in an abhorrent fashion. These people are some of our best and brightest. This cannot stand. What gives DM the right to run roughshod over these people? Who anointed him to be above the law? The out-points are too many to be listed here, we’re sure you all have examples of your own.

We believe that everyone who stands up and throws off their shackles will make it that much easier for others to do so. That has been true for us. The others coming out before us have made it more real for us to take our stand.

We could not live with the idea that we were too scared or bullied into having to hide our god given rights to be here and communicate. Especially when it is the right thing to do!

So we hereby declare ourselves Independent Scientologists.

Independent: One who is independent in thinking, action, etc.

That is how we see ourselves. We do enjoy the Scientology philosophy by LRH, when we are practicing it as independent people, not having it forced down our throats.

Final thoughts:

We also very much appreciate LRH’s views on infinity valued logic. The idea of two-valued logic such as right-wrong, good-bad is too simplistic. The idea that any man or woman is infallible or perfect is not realistic. All men and women have good and bad in them, it is just a matter of degree. And the fact that we feel Mankind is basically good means that there can be salvation for all and no person has a monopoly on that. DM is not totally bad or totally good just like the rest of us. He is not above the law or above the Scientology justice system. DM IS NOT SCIENTOLOGY. We believe that it is the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics that DM step down from his position as leader and that steps are taken to reform the church of Scientology so it reflects the values of this current culture and promotes ARC, tolerance and the values usually associated with spiritual goals. We have finally answered this question for ourselves: Does the end justify the means? For us the answer is NO!! Or another way of looking at it is: The means are the end. Scientology was supposed to give us a way of setting an example as good and honorable people. That is an end in itself. The way Scientology has been treating its own people is a disgrace and a degrade of Scientology, and has to be rejected.

Thanks for listening. Thank you all for what you are doing and will do in the future.

Much Love,

Tony DePhillips (Mid OTVII, Prov. Class IV Pre-GAT and Fully Hatted Ethics Officer)

Marie-Joe DePhillips (OT V,KTL/LOC, Level G SHSBC)

Church of Scientology’s Slippery Slope:
from Solo NOTs-IAS Patron-Ideal Org Humanitarians to Declared SPs

Tony’s Story: I got into Scientology in 1978, a confused Navy sailor. I joined staff in San Diego, married a Scientologist, subsequently divorced, and left staff in 1985 with a $12,000 debt to the church. I paid off that debt and moved up the Grade Chart through OT V in Los Angeles, just winning like mad through FPRD and PDC and right on up. I was a “Cadillac PC”.

And, all throughout, I was being a “good Scientologist”, deciding not to have children so I could get up the Bridge without distractions and living very modestly in order to pay for auditing. My wife, Marie-Joe, and I have spent hundreds of thousands on auditing. I spent close to $250k just on Solo NOTs, without completion.

I originally started Solo NOTs a couple of years prior to the “Golden Age of Tech”, costly even then in both dollars and time. From the time I arrived at Flag the customer service atmosphere was one of suspicion and distrust, right from the start. But, I let it go because I was at the Mecca of technical perfection and the “friendliest place on Earth” after all, so it must be “ok”.

After being on the level for about a year I was informed that I would have to retrain on everything at my expense. This was quite a shock. I’m not a wealthy man. It took me five years to regroup financially and get back onto the Solo NOTs level.

After seven intensives of sec checking prior to getting onto Solo NOTs the first time and another seven, plus the FPRD, the second time (plus the ever suspenseful wait for “eligibility”) I finally made it on again. Then 18 months into Solo NOTs round two, I was C/S’d for an advanced program of eight more intensives (five of which were sec checks).

Meanwhile, I wrote a KR on the Landlord Office regarding mismanagement of the local Ideal Org purchasing process, and in going over it with the local ED an argument ensued (I was going over my KR with him to ensure my facts were correct). He said “If you weren’t so critical and helped more we would be that much closer!” I had only donated about 30K at that point, so I guess I was down-stat. I retorted, “If I have to do whatever you want me to do to be your friend you can kiss my ass!!”

The local Org tried to issue a “non-enturbulation” order for that, but instead I got recalled to Flag at my own expense. I was upset, and when I got there I thought they would treat me as an OT and I would have a nice comm cycle and all would be good. It wasn’t. Silly me.

I was grilled for my crimes, on the meter, by the MAA. It was so frustrating I asked to get a sec check so at least I’d feel I was being heard. Those 25 hours of sec checking cost me about 14K and I felt like crap afterwards. I told Flag they could keep my Solo NOTs materials and left. To their credit, an auditing correction later handled the lingering upset.

I did a Liability formula for all of this and my wife and I donated another hefty chunk to the Ideal Org, bringing us to over $100,000 donated. My apologies, if this is boring – it certainly is therapeutic for me to write it.

Onto Solo NOTs again for the third time, after another grueling eligibility cycle (seven more intensives and the waiting “sweat out” period). The level was getting more and more solid for me. The gains I was getting on the solo auditing seemed to be negated by the sec checking and the feeling I was “bad” or a “slow case gain” or not “trusted’’.

I received PTS handlings when I didn’t feel PTS. I felt and said, “I don’t want to become what you want me to be. I want to be who I WANT TO BE!!” I have never been good at being bossed around. But it’s an ability that has helped me retain my self-determinism and freedom of thought.

I received ethics handlings on a report I wrote on DM speaking derogatorily about the U.S. President at an event, stating I thought his actions weren’t good PR for our Church or its leader. I caught flack for that! I guess they figured I had “crimes”.

This period seemed like a never ending blood bath of regging and stress. I had to live up to this state of OT being laid out for me. I had to be “helping” all the time, donating to this- that-and the other thing, buying books, going to every event…on and on and on. I started hating it. The IAS regges described the world as a nightmare, creating a very dangerous environment for all of us.

I know I’m describing what others have experienced and written. I am collaborating with you. I also witnessed it, lived it, experienced it. The more you do, the higher in the organization you get – even as public – the less respect and freedom there is if you don’t toe the line.

On my last visit to Flag, I decided if I didn’t finish it that trip, I would route off. I thought I could end off and remain friends. I figured that would be the worst case scenario. But I was nervous…why? Because of the previous heavy handed dealings I had. When, I found out that I wasn’t going to be allowed to attest, I just decided to turn in my materials, route off properly and go home in ARC with the group.

That was wishful thinking. It was off to Qual for a hefty attempt to convince me how abberated I was. Then, to HCO where the MAA informed me that my auditor and Qual terminals were “enturbulated” by me. I said, ”They are enturbulated by me answering their questions??” Yes, that was indeed it, he confirmed, and threatened me with a Non-enturbulation order. I said, “You have to be joking!!” He wasn’t.

I wrote it up to RTC and no order was issued. But, needless to say, I wasn’t having much fun, or feelin’ the theta. The auditing was good but the other actions were painful. While I was trying to route off the Level I was informed by the Flag AO Tech Sec that if I left without my materials then all the people who’d worked with me there would be Comm Ev’d. I told her that wouldn’t be my overt but someone else’s. I held my position right up to leaving the Yachtsman motel to go to the airport. My Solo C/S, Mike, rolled up in a van with my Solo Nots D of P, Lill – Mike trying to persuade me to go home with my materials. I was in grief at this point. He told me he thought I was close to finishing the level and on hearing that, I decided to take the materials home.

Long story a little shorter (and this is abbreviated a lot!!) I sent my materials back a few months later after deciding that they couldn’t “handle” me, and that I wasn’t going to “go on hoping” while paying $7,500 per intensive for mostly sec checking and FPRD. This was the third & last time I took myself off Solo NOTs.

I continued doing volunteer work as Chaplain at the local Org, two nights a week, to good results. I let people talk and I called things as I saw them. Purely a help flow and NO REGGING…

Then, one weekend while scanning news articles, I ran across the St. Petersburg Times’ The Truth Rundown Scientology: The truth rundown | St. Petersburg Times

- I read it all and watched all the videos. I was shocked!! Could this be true?? Marie-Joe and I spent hours filling the vacuum, looking at different web sites and blogs to fill the void.


I realized that I had been tricked. I was reading about, by and large, people who had been screwed over by the Church and then became enemies to it. These were not crazy SPs. These were primarily former members, “enemies” largely created by the Church!

I realized all the sec checking I had been getting was to help the church find these “enemies”. It hadn’t been for my benefit!!

By the way, I have had some great wins getting off overts and withholds. I am not rallying against that. I just think that it can get out of hand and be out tech and done for political reasons instead of for the betterment of the individual.

I was paying the price all along the way, for the CofS creating its own enemies and being afraid of its own creations. This endless sec checking was being done from fear, not because we needed or wanted it. C/S series 73 points this out nicely. There is a write-up on this subject by a woman named Virginia, that I think is definitive and awesome! I had to give her props on that!!

The rest here...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 05, 2010, 04:54:45 PM
OTVIII Reg Cycles
Church of Scientology OTVIII Reg Cycles -- KRs by OTVIII Mary Jo Leavitt

From Marty: Black Dianetics at the top of the Bridge – more on IAS (emphasis added):
November 26, 2007 to RTC Reports Officer

Things that shouldn’t be IAS interview/Reg cycle Ted Bragin, Marion Vugger

I was in an IAS reg cycle last Saturday the 17th of November with Ted Bragin from the WUS Office.

I had been told I needed to get an appointment for a briefing and I was hesitant as I do not have the funds to donate now and I am also very busy with my OTA hat as the OTA IC of Latam. Last year, in 2006 MV I donated 150K and in one month completed a Patron Meritorious cycle: I went from 15 K on the IAS to 250K in 12 months and it was a very BIG deal for me, I got into debt big time. I was thrilled and proud to do it but had to follow that up with a lot of production. I am a single woman and while I do own my business it is not one that makes so much profit to allow for such sizeable donations. I basically got a second mortgage on my house to do it.

After course on Tuesday the 13th, I was approached by Claire Taylor (FCS LA Fdn.) and was told I had to have an interview with the IAS, that all the OTs in the field had to be interviewed. There was no reference or no reason given to me. This is a generality and it is an arbitrary that “all OTs have to be interviewed”. I don’t think an enforced interview is OK, especially when I am active and have donated so much. But I reluctantly agreed.

Since Ted Bragin regged me before I agreed to get this briefing from him and asked him to please be brief as I had lots to do and did not want to sit there and tell someone how I did not have money. It is not OK to sit there and talk at length about debt, etc- it just brings one downtone and makes a postulate there.

I had set aside 1 hour for this and Ted was late (which was fine he was in another cycle) but when we started 20 minutes late I was anxious to get the cycle going. Ted made small talk, commenting about people who had made recent huge donations and told me I needed to be with that group of people, hang out with them. I said I had no time to hang out with new people, I was a bit puzzled at the comm. I asked him to please give me the briefing and he said it wasn’t a briefing, it was an interview, which he said was the new name for a reg cycle. I was BIs, I was told I was getting a briefing. It is not OK to lie about the purpose of a meeting, which was not what I agreed to do.

He then started to ask me about my finances and I said I did not want to discuss specifics or my debt, that I had expressed to him this. I did tell him I had no equity in the house. He became irate, that HE was the IAS and I had to disclose everything as I worked for the Church and per policy they needed to know. I asked him for a reference and he pulled out the Les Dane book and referred to the section on qualifying a prospect and said “This is LRH”. I protested this saying this was absolutely not LRH source and then asked him if then anything was mine, did I own anything? Did I have a say on my own finances and how I was going to handle them? It seemed so bizarre. Ted said I was now OT VIII and very self-determined but he “could show me what self-determinism was”. This was all done in a hostile tone. He went and got a staff member from the Flag office who is a trained Flag MAA and is on a mission here in LA, her name is Marion Vugger, and when I explained to her that I was not in agreement with the force of the cycle she told me I sounded disaffected! I am one of the most upstat and active OT Ambassadors and Scientologist on the planet, according to OT Operations Office Int who wrote this before my clearance for the ship to do OT VIII eligibility. Then Ted said, “you know I love you don’t you?” and when I said “no…” he said, “that is the first lie you say tonight, I would lie in front of you and give my life so that you and only you could go free” – it was all very melodramatic and introverting. What is one supposed to answer to that? Marion told me if I could not give money I needed to walk in and say to the IAS “what can I do for you”? I told her I was already very committed as an OTA and could not glibly say that as I would not be able to deliver. She did not answer that. I have to create income and am already very active helping the OTCs in Latam. Ted then said that we had to do it all. When I said I was already “doing it all” (I do not qual for the SO or staff and Ted knows this) he got angrier with me.

I was told I had to give “everything” to the IAS, that I work for the Church and that I had to be there on the same terms as the SO and that COB needed funds NOW. When I said I could not give what I didn’t have, that it would be out ethics, he got furious and said, “don’t you think LRH was out ethics when he almost broke his back researching the OT levels? He was out ethics on the first dynamic and on the second dynamic, he had a family, he was a husband, don’t you tell me you can’t be out ethics!”. He turned to Marion and she nodded in agreement! At that point I just remained quiet and decided I needed to not protest anymore to end the interview. I said I was working on creating more income; that I was with the program and understood what I was being told. At that point Ted told the MAA that I was more active than over 90 % of parishioners he knew and then told me I could leave. Marion left the room and Ted offered to walk me to my car. As we walked I chatted lightly and he asked me 3 times if I was OK. I was not showing any signs of not being OK, it was as if he was concerned that the cycle had been very rough and he wanted to be sure I was OK.

Ted looked very tired; I have never seen him this aggressive. I am not sure what references they are operating on but this type of treatment and comm. is unacceptable and the comment about LRH being out ethics and making it OK and even necessary to be out ethics to be an upstat IAS member, is completely unacceptable. I think this needs to be looked into.

This is true,

Mary Jo Leavitt
OT VIII, OTA IC Latam, Patron Meritorious, FSM


RTC Reports Officer Int

Mary Jo Leavitt, New OT VIII September 20,2009


PR Aide OSA Int
Legal Aide OSA Int
International Justice Chief
Snr I&R Chf HCO Int
Ted Bragan, IAS WUS
Tiana Lake Snr MAA CLO WUS
Cherie, Snr HAS CLO
Jon Lundeen, CO ASHO Fdn
Lon Kloeffer, Dir I&R CLO

Knowledge Report

Out tech (Out KSW), Abuse of Position

Snr I&R Chf HCO Int
Ted Bragan, IAS WUS
Tiana Lake Snr MAA CLO WUS
Cherie, Snr HAS CLO
Jon Lundeen, CO ASHO Fdn
Lon Kloeffer, Dir I&R CLO

Dear Sir,

This report is written and routed as above because of the potential liabilities such activities can bring about if perpetrated upon terminals less understanding than myself, liabilities that can have severe repercussions on PR and possibly legal lines.


Recently, two SO members entered my property by jumping the gate of my house without permission. I wrote a KR on the SO members who were from the CLO WUS ‐ and sent it to RTC, copy to MAA CLO WUS and the parties involved; it turned out one of those men was the Dir I&R CLO (Lon Kloeffer). See attached.

Two weeks went by and I went back on course at my agreed‐upon time. On the way out of course, on a Wednesday (August 5, 2009) I was approached in the parking lot by the D/ED of LAD (Mark) and asked if I could go to an IAS interview for a few minutes. I said I did not have time (which was the case), and besides these interviews are never a few minutes. I also said that I did not have any money to donate and the interviews were reg cycles, so I was going to pass. Mark then said to me it was not an option, that it was mandatory. I looked at him surprised and said, “Mandatory? Q1 is self determinism and we have power of choice!” I also said he could tell the people who had sent him that I was not going to an IAS briefing and to take me off their lists (for potential reg cycles). And then I left.

That night I received a call from the CLO Dir I&R (that went to my answering machine) saying I needed to come in to see the CLO Dir I&R immediately. My daughter Joanna, who is also my Communicator, called as soon as she got the message. She was told there was a KR written on me that required me to show up within 24 hours, because I was being summoned by HCO; yet they would not give further information on what it was about. It being a workday the next day, and I was flat‐out with work, Joanna arranged for me to go on Saturday tentatively and got OK from the Dir I&R to postpone the meeting until then. Joanna told the Dir I&R (who refused to give his name) that she would talk with me the next day and see if it was possible to go any earlier in the week. This was agreed and fine. It was late at night and I had already retired.

The next morning, Joanna gave me the message and I called the Dir I&R first thing; I got an answering machine so I left a message saying I wanted a copy of the report so I could see it before it was time to go to the CLO on Saturday (which was the earliest possible time I could go in). I had no idea what that could be about, all I could think of was the comm cycle about the IAS interview that previous afternoon.

Then around noon (approximately 3 hours after I left my message) a man in an SO Officer uniform showed up at the gate of my home/office. He identified himself as the D/CO of the Ethics Org now established in the CLO. Instead of giving me a copy of the KR, he handed me an “HCO Ethics Summons” (attached). He said I had 24 hours to report to the CLO yet would not tell me what this was about, only that it was very serious. I told him I could only think of the IAS comment the day before and that this was a violation of ethics gradients (Ref: HCO PL 29 APR 65 Issue III Ethics Review). He said ethics gradients did not apply in this situation (per policy, however, they only do not apply when an SP act is committed but I didn’t say anything.) We spent 45 minutes talking. I had pressing work and calls that had to be delayed‐ this was right in the middle of my production. I agreed to go to the CLO on Saturday at 10AM.

Joanna then originated that the HCO Summons claimed there had been repeated attempts to get in communication with me, yet she as the Communicator had only received one communication, the phone call the night before, and she had been specifically in comm on the cycle. She called the Snr HAS to get clarification as to what was meant by “repeated attempts to get in communication with no avail” and after a few phone calls it was determined to be a mistake, the Snr. HAS said there had been a misduplication and the HCO Summons was supposed to be withdrawn from my ethics file as it actually did not apply per se, because I was “in comm” and showing up on Saturday. It was understood that the appointment “would not be long” and would be under an hour. Joanna had scheduled important appointments previously for that day, but we were fitting in this appointment with the CLO; Joanna made sure it was agreed with the Snr. MAA CLO and the Dir I&R CLO that it would not take long.

On Saturday, August 8, 2009, I had to wait half an hour before the Snr. HAS came out to meet me. I reiterated that I only had a couple of hours set aside for this (a long time with my schedule). She was not pleased I had a limited amount of time and went to check with someone to see if it was OK. Then 15 minutes later another Sea Org member who identified herself as an HCO terminal said she was giving me an interview and I should follow her. As we walked across the street towards the canteen I asked her what this was about and I saw in her hand my KR regarding the SO members jumping the gate, and I said, “Oh, it’s about that? I’ll be happy to pick up the cans to tell you what happened.”

And on the cans, I did. After she was satisfied about my recounting of the episode, and I FNed throughout (she never indicated it, though; I could see her making big circles on the worksheet) she then showed me the “Knowledge Report” written by the Dir I&R CLO which was contrary to my KR. Every paragraph in that report was an alteration of the facts. I told the lady giving the interview that this was the case and that I never got a copy of this report and wanted to have it (Ref: HCO PL 1 May 1965 Iss I Staff Member Reports) and she assured me I would. She did not give me a copy, and (over a month and a half later, on the 28th of September) I finally received a copy from the Chief MAA FSSO. (See attached, and the False Report Report regarding it.)

After that the questions turned to the subject of the IAS. What did I think of it, how are my finances, do I have off‐shore accounts, any illegal activity with my business, any missing licenses or permits, who are my friends, do I have a 2D, a husband, a boyfriend (she really pressed on this one), what do I do on my spare time, am I connected to disaffected people?

I am an OT VIII with an incredible ethics record as an examination of my file shows. And yet the assumption of the interviewer and these questions was that I was out‐ethics and even criminal. I had to prove the contrary through my answers and while holding the cans (illegal use of auditing, Ref: HCO PL 18 Oct 1967 Iss III Policy and HCOB Alterations High Crime.) She also asked about my children‐ my son Greg, does he write a lot of reports? My answer‐ yes, I taught my kids well, to write reports of any Out‐ KSW or out‐tech. Greg has had a lot of trouble at LAD just staying on his Academy levels when he is pressured to do “Basics lineup”. What about my daughter, Joanna? All my answers were satisfactory to this terminal. I was FNing and in comm.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 05, 2010, 04:55:20 PM
                              Part 2

I asked her why this whole cycle was so heavy‐handed and she said the “field of OTs is very disaffected and very disenchanted and there is an investigation going on. We have found a lot of enemy line regarding the Ideal Org program and the Dir I&R often has doors slammed in his face. He thought you were acting in a disaffected fashion so he thought you needed to come in” – words to that effect. What confirms this is that this “False Report” he wrote was not acted on until two weeks after my report was written and delivered. But really, the reason for his report and “Ethics Summons” was the IAS interview and the 10 million dollars quota of parishioner money the CLO had to collect from us NOW.

When we were done I was told by the Snr HAS CLO that I needed to watch the MV4 event, the IAS event and then stay for another interview. Because of the way this was communicated, I asked if this was mandatory? The Snr. HAS CLO responded, “Yes! Absolutely, you need to do this now.” I said I had two previous appointments I could not reschedule so I would return around 5 PM.

I then saw the MV event and then it was time for the “interview” – Teddy, Jon Lundeen and Snr MAA CLO.

I made it clear I was handling debts as I had donated to the IAS 250 thousand dollars in the course of a year and was still heavily in debt (in addition, over the years I had donated 105K to SuperPower and approximately 60K to the Ideal Org program, and 20K to other programs such as the Library Campaign and Basics campaign). I shared that my business had not done as well this year but I was going up the conditions and my application of ethics tech was working and going well. Then they started with the doom and gloom that times were so bad and things were so desperate, I needed to go ahead and “do or die in the attempt” and other quotes from KSW1 completely out of context. Despite a rising emotion from my interviewers, I remained calm and told them I was not going to go into further debt and that I was not turning over my credit card. Teddy screamed at me saying I had a closed mind and was not allowing him to do his job, that I had to tell him my personal finance data (and then he referred to the Les Dane “Sales Techniques” as his source for that) and kept invalidating me, cutting my comm., saying he did not like how I grimaced, etc. When I could say something he would write it down and often he would leave the room to talk to someone else about these notes he was taking.

Then Jon Lundeen, whom I know well and who even trained me on being a Registrar when I was in the Sea Org at Flag, told me the IAS cycle was so important he was spending 90% of his post time wearing that hat. And the Snr MAA said she, too, was doing that, that she was in charge of the entire PAC Base IAS quota. They said this with pride! That they are off‐post and off‐hat 90% of the time!

At one point Jon and I were alone and he told me a story about his daughter stealing things as a youth in the SO and that he got a knock on the door in the middle of the night, a dreaded moment, where he was told he had to leave the SO unless he handled his daughter. He told me he was not about to give up the SO and his life in it, so he borrowed 30K to send her off to Delphi in Oregon. (As an afterthought he said he didn’t remember if he ever paid that debt) and that his daughter was shortly after that expelled from Delphi for her “stealing” (i.e. kleptomania). Her mother, Edie Lundeen, (Class XII) (finally) gave her some auditing and it quickly resolved and now his daughter is posted at Int. But the point of his story was that, in his words, COB had gotten that “knock on the door in the middle of the night” and we all had to do the impossible to raise this money; that any bad consequence for incurring more debt was not important. It really sounded like the end of the world. Jon was very agitated.

Teddy said we needed to complete establishing an AO in Latam and I said that was years away as each org in Latam had to become Ideal and as far as I knew they were not even solvent. I was bewildered that they would say this was such an urgent cycle, and expressed that to them. Teddy would write all this down on a paper and would not answer my questions. He then became angry and went for the full‐out make‐wrong and invalidation technique I had previously experienced from him (see my KR of an IAS interview with Teddy in 2007). I remained calm during the whole interview. They, instead, turned quite upset and were often screaming and turning red. And as they saw that this did not have an effect on me, it became worse, i.e. intensifying their misemotional outbursts.

As I persisted on my position that I was not going to donate, Lundeen screamed at to me that I was an out‐ethics OT to have taken so long to pay off the IAS donation and that to doubt my ability to handle a large debt was a gross out ethics! He shouted that LRH had expected the impossible from him and I was very able and the same was expected of me. I then said I had arrived there earlier in the day with two hours for the interview, but ended up remaining there most of the day and night, and the cycle had been over 6 hours long and I was now leaving. As I stood up they all started to scream and at that point the Snr Dir I &R (Lon) walked in, crossed his arms and stated in a menacing tone, “You are not participating and what is going to happen is you need to get a roll back right now. You have been spouting enemy line all night”. I said, “Not participating? You mean I am not turning over my credit card? Absolutely not. And I already had a one‐hour interview where I came out clean and I am not doing another. It is 10 PM!” He said, “We will give you some vitamins to put down your throat, it will be fine”. At that point I said, “I am leaving” and the Snr. MAA blocked the door. I told her she could not do that and motioned her to move. At that point the auditor who had interviewed me knocked on the door and told me to go with her. Everyone in the room was screaming at the same time and I gladly walked out with her.

Once we were outside, the HCO auditor said she could overhear that things were getting intense and out of hand in there so thought she’d knock to get me out. I thanked her and told her I was not doing another interview, I was going home. She said we should at least walk a bit so I told her we could walk to where my car was parked. She asked me more questions about my debt and when I told her I was 300K in debt, she asked if that was the mortgage and I said no, that is separate from mortgage. She asked me why I didn’t tell them this and I said these were my personal finances and it was nobody’s business. She told me we needed to do this second interview anyway, she was holding a piece of paper that contained all the “enemy line” I had said, and I told her anything I said I meant, it came from me and was very straight forward. She said she could not do it during the week but next Saturday and she would call me to schedule me. I acknowledged her though I did not intend on picking up the cans again for this cycle.

She never called and then on September 15th, 5 weeks later, the Dir I&R CLO and Snr. HAS CLO came to my house while I was out. They told my son that I had blown an ethics interview and needed to go to the CLO. They left a hand written note for me to call the Snr. HAS as soon as I got the note. I called and got a voice mail. I left a message. I said, “This is Mary Jo Leavitt, I got your note. I am not going in for your ethics interview. Do what you have to do. Do not come to my house anymore.”

I have not heard since.

Summary of outpoints and LRH references

‐Overt misapplication of ethics tech with the purpose of collecting funds with no exchange, under duress. Many references exist including HCO PL 7 Feb 1965 Keeping Scientology Working Series 1, HCO PL 7 Mar 1965RA Iss III Offenses and Penalties, HCOB 15 Sep 1981 The Criminal Mind, HCO PL 1 Apr 1981R Interviews (“An Ethics Officer never spends any time sitting and arguing with someone.”‐LRH),

HCO PL 24 Feb 1972 Injustice, HCO PL 1 Sep 1965 Iss VII Ethics Protection, HCO PL 30 Oct 1971 How Ethics Gets Harsh, and others including standard Finance policies.

‐ Use of positions of power and executive postings, use of CLO HCO to collect money for the IAS, under duress. Refs: HCO PL 2 Nov 1970 Iss III Responsibility (“The power of choice is still senior to responsibility.”‐LRH), HCO PL 15 Dec 1965 Iss I Ethics Chits (“No person may be penalized for issuing an ethics chit.”‐LRH), HCO PL 7 Dec 1969 Iss II The Ethics Officer, His Character (“The job of the E/O is to disconnect and depower the criminal and so protect the group.”‐LRH), HCO PL 11 May 1965 Issue I Ethics Officer Hat, and others including many Div III and Div VI policies.

‐ Abuse of an OT VIII, outright invalidation and nullification of an upstat member. Ref: HCO PL 4 Aug 1966, ETHICS, Clears, Invalidation Of, HCO PL 23 Dec 1965RB Suppressive Acts, Suppression of Scientology and Scientologists. See also, HCO PL 2 November 1970 Issue III, “Responsibility” “The power of choice of an individual is considered as opposition and as an overt act. When in fact, “the power of choice is still senior to responsibility. What one does against his will operates as an overt act against oneself. But where one’s will to do has deteriorated to unwillingness to do anything, lack of will is itself an aberration… In the decline of any state into slavery, as in Greece, or into economic strangulation of the individual as in our modern western society, doingness is more and more enforced and willingness to do is less and less in evidence. At length, people are doing without being responsible.” –LRH.

This is the kind of behavior and actions that indeed breed disaffection, and result in bad PR for the Church of Scientology.

This is true,

Mary Jo Leavitt

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 06, 2010, 06:35:58 PM
 He grabbed my arm and I took a swing at him
For your reading enjoyment.......

Here is an "eye-opening" review written by some poor soul in LA, who got suckered into a Scientology org and the bizarre events that transpired.

I especially loved her unique "solution" to the endless mail and phone calls she received.

Bon appetit!

    "Lisa V " on YELP website

    When I first moved to Hollywood from the Midwest as I was walking down the street on Hollywood Blvd., I was stopped by one of their workers and they started to ask me a bunch of questions about stress. Lets see, I just moved from Chicago to LA, yes, I am stressed. This is how they get you my friends.

    They offer to give you a little stress survey thingy and then once you fill it out, they determine that you need help. So, they invite you to go to a meeting and see what they are all about. OK, so I went to a meeting. Yes, I know, it was a mistake but they find vulnerable people searching for something.

    When I stepped into their class/meeting, I was asked to purchase $40 worth of text books the moment I stepped in the door. I of course was hesitant but I did it anyway. However, the whole class/meeting consists of you working on your own with your little text books and guess what? I finished my books almost by the time I ran out of there so that meant I would have to walk down to their convenient little bookstore and purchase more! Does anyone see the problem here?

    Throughout my meeting, I heard very strange moans, groans, and yelling coming from a room beside the room I was in. I asked what was going on as it seemed like someone was in pain. A worker/teacher there told me that someone there was "detoxing". I became very uneasy and a bit scared thinking what the hell had I gotten myself into. So, I trusted my instincts and I packed up my things in the middle of the class and two people working there came up to me and asked me what was wrong.

    I said I didn't like what I was hearing next door and that their church was not right for me and I was leaving. They stood in my way and made me walk around them. A barrier so to speak. They kept telling me not to leave and they followed me all the way down the stairs and to the lobby all the while insisting that I not leave. I began to get really scared so I started yelling vile things at them and asking them to leave me the f%@*! alone! At one point a guy grabbed my arm and I turned and I took a swing at him.

    They followed me out to my car and would not leave me alone.

    After I left that PLACE, I continued to get letters and calls at home from them. This went on for months. Seriously, it got so bad that one day my friend and I (had to have a body guard), walked into their building and stood in the lobby and fucking yelled and told them to never, ever, send a fucking piece of mail or call my home again and I threw their mail all over the lobby. I never heard from them again.

    And for the record, I've been to many churches and walked out of many churches with the intention of not going back and not once have I been stopped by anyone with dollar signs in their eyes pleading with me to stay.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 12, 2010, 10:39:27 AM

                  THE UK – PART ONE


It’s no secret that the British are a polite people and intensely loyal. Without that loyalty Lucy and I both know we could not have built Birmingham Org. So it pained us greatly when the IAS would come around, toying with those loyalties in order to extract as much money as they could from Birmingham public.  And I’ve explained before how in one evening alone the IAS managed to rake in around $120,000 from the hard working Scientologists of Birmingham.  And how the MC that evening (Jeff Pomerantz) walked away with $12,000 of that money as his “fee” which made me want to throw up.

Now, while it was happening I actually thought that $120,000 night was a one off, a single big hurray for the IAS. How wrong could I get? They were just warming up and that was before 9/11, after the attack on the twin towers collections became even more voracious as David Miscavige callously used that disaster to justify making even greater demands on the bank accounts and credit lines of Scientologists in the UK and elsewhere around the globe.

And it troubled Lucy and me when during their events the IAS would play the “trouble in France and Germany” card with the Birmingham and other UK public. Parts of the UK (London, Birmingham – particularly nearby Coventry) were absolutely flattened by bombing during WWII and those memories still lingered and the IAS would intentionally stir them up when they fallaciously and cynically called on the UK public to “once again take responsibility for Europe” and “stop the trouble in Germany from invading England” (an actual line they used to extract money from a Birmingham business man which included the implication that the “German trouble” if not handled, would ruin his business).

But what pained Lucy and me the most was the frequency with which the IAS dog and pony show rolled into town and the tactics they used upon their arrival. They would hit each UK org with on-site events as often as every few weeks, and then add to that routine with lavish events held in local hotels. We just didn’t understand it because we knew the numbers, we knew how many active Scientologists existed in Birmingham and other areas of the UK and never understood why they were pummeled so hard and so often after they had already given everything they could and then some.

And as a result of IAS tactics, we saw many British Scientologists put into debt, serious debt and for a great many people we knew it meant a very major personal sacrifice – no auditing or training for some time because they’d just given that money to the IAS. Under extreme and inordinate pressure from the IAS, we saw many sit politely through the pounding and then promptly take out loans or go into other forms of debt to pay the IAS in lieu of paying for and doing LRH’s bridge. To the IAS it was just a matter of “give us your money” and no other consideration seemed to be of any concern to them. Such tactics actually blocked many students and PCs from moving up the bridge, more than Lucy or I could easily count.

Continued here...

Post by: NED on June 12, 2010, 11:24:23 AM
This is fucking criminal.  I'm glad these people woke up.  Let's hope there's a lot more real soon.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 12, 2010, 01:04:40 PM
           New interview with an ex-sea org member/ex-scientologist

An hour long interview will webcast this Sunday (June 13) at 11 a.m. eastern U.S. time, 8 a.m. pacific U.S. time, 4 p.m. GMT, and 1700 in western Europe, at and you need to click on "Listen Live" in the left menu. Windows Media Player needs to be installed for this audio streaming to work.

The program is called The Edge. A former sea org member/scientologist will talk about what the scientology crime syndicate did to destroy his business, marriage, and wife. If you work in law enforcement, this program is a must listen to. This guy describes exactly how organized scientology operates.

Here are some comments from three anons who previewed it:
"How do they get away with that shit?!"
"This is why"

I`ll link the podcast when it`s available.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 12, 2010, 07:16:52 PM
        What your donations buy

This is an example of how the Church of Scientology under its leader David Miscavige, spends its parishioners' donations in a ridiculous manner.

Scientology is in trouble. When you keep doing what doesn`t work
you are a nut.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 14, 2010, 11:59:03 AM
    Ex SO member interviewed

The program is called The Edge. A former sea org member/scientologist will talk about what the scientology crime syndicate did to destroy his business, marriage, and wife. If you work in law enforcement, this program is a must listen to. This guy describes exactly how organized scientology operates.

53.98 MB

or    VLC should play this just fine:

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 15, 2010, 03:42:01 PM
                                      The Destruction of My Family

Sunday, 13 June 2010 20:50

Following are some highlights of my life growing up in the Sea Org and with a Scientology family. My hope is to bring the type of activity that I experienced to light so that others are not exposed to similar abuse. The experience affected me in an extremely negative way that I am still dealing with to this day.

I was born in Geneva, Switzerland and I lived there with my parents, older sister and younger brother. When I was 4 years old my parents, both Scientologists, divorced and my father got full custody of my sister Valeska, brother Raphael and me. He decided to join the Sea Org in West Sussex, UK so we moved there and lived in the “housing” provided. My mom came with us at first but she was told that she couldn’t stay. She told my sister and me that she was going out to get coffee and she simply never came back.

We spent the first night, all 4 of us, on a twin sized mattress that had bugs on it and smelled like urine. I remember that I was completely homesick, sad and crying because I missed my mom. None of us spoke English which made it so much worse.

The first physical abuse I suffered was at the hands of a woman named Pam Hubbard Beale, no relation to L. Ron Hubbard. I was put in the ballroom of Stonelands (one of the Scientology properties located near East Grinstead) and she closed all the doors and locked all the windows. She then had me run around trying to find a way out until I had exhausted myself. When I finally gave up she proceeded to beat me on the butt. I had just turned 5. This intended to show us kids who was boss.

The people supposedly taking care of us didn’t regard us as children; we were adults in little kid’s bodies, fully aware of the consequences of our actions, and fully responsible, and blameworthy for any result. Any mistake was regarded as a premeditated and deliberate act of destruction.

We were in the Cadet Org, a mini Sea Org org. We all had posts and were assigned all sorts of manual labor: scrubbing walls, floors, cleaning the toilets, rooms, sweeping etc… not stuff that kids would normally do.

Our cook, John Harvey, would refuse to feed us unless we filled out the sheets saying how good the food was and if we weren’t there at the designated time we definitely didn’t eat. I guarantee you there were no fat kids in the cadet org. We were all pretty much skin and bones cause we never had enough to eat. One of the clearest memories of my childhood is us kids banding together to steal food. We would put the smallest kids through the pantry or kitchen window and steal whatever food we could get. I was the kid that was normally on lookout. I had no problem putting myself in harm’s way if it meant protecting my older sister who was always one of the gang leaders. I’d stand by the kitchen door and knock till John would come to the door. When he opened it I’d squirt him with a water gun and then try and dodge his fists as he tried to punch me. I would then run through the house screaming because he always came after me and his punches hurt. I was normally faster than him and could get through to the other side of the house before he could catch me.

When I first came to the Cadet Org we had a governor that watched over the smaller kids. His name was Bo, though I can’t remember his last name now. He sexually molested some of us, but when it was reported they just moved him to a different post. No charges were ever filed against him because in Scientology all justice is handled internally. Who cares if kids are getting molested, beaten or raped; it’s still all handled internally.

After Bo we got Dominique and Heather. Dominique was by far the worst governess we had. I think I became the one kid she hated more than anyone and she decided she was going to break me no matter what. The first time she punched me in the face was when I was 10 years old. I’d been hit before by our other “caregivers” but never hard enough to knock me out. She punched me right in the face. The force of the blow sent me slamming into the wall behind me and I was out. This, like all other incidents was covered up. Bruises and other evidence of abuse were supposedly due to “fighting” between children.

I had a mouth on me as a kid and hated Dominique. I made it a point to show her and Heather that they would never break me. The worst beating they ever gave me was when I was 10 or 11. I was playing upstairs and one of the boys, Oliver Morgan, was making noise in the shower room. Dominique thought it was me and yelled up the stairs at me to be quiet. My response, not thought out at all, was “make me shut up.” As soon as I said it, I knew I’d made a terrible mistake. Dominique came running up the side stairs and Heather came up the main stairs and I was trapped upstairs in between them. I ran down the hallway to try and make it to the 3rd floor so I could escape via the roof. I didn’t make it. I curled up into a ball as they proceeded to punch and kick me. After that they dragged me through the whole house by my hair and then Dominique threw me down the main stairs head first. I landed in the middle on my shoulder and could feel it dislocate, worst pain ever. I hit the bottom headfirst and slammed my knee into the brick floor. I was barely conscious but they still dragged me by my hair to the side door and threw me outside. They then went and locked all the doors to the house so I couldn’t get in. I was in my pajamas and had no shoes or socks and it was the middle of winter. I still to this day get major panic attacks if I get too cold. I also had to slam my own shoulder back in against a wall. To this day it still pops in and out.

This incident was the ONLY time my dad ever said anything to Dominique about the physical abuse we experienced. I complained to him many times but he did nothing.

My dad was in a car accident when I was 12. One of the people in the car died. One of the staff, John Cronin, thought it would be funny to come and tell me that it was my dad who had died. I was devastated and yet they didn’t tell me the truth several hours. I WAS 12 YEARS OLD!!!!!

That was the last straw for me. I called my Swiss grandma and begged her to book me a ticket to Florida so that I could go live with some friends. I left England.

The above is just a very small snippet of some of the atrocities that were committed in the Cadet Org. I can’t recall the number of times I was hit, knocked unconscious and we wrote reports and yet nothing was ever done about it. We were just future Sea Org members that needed to be molded into “good” SO members which meant breaking us down into robots. I was unbreakable but I paid a price to maintain my integrity.

A couple of years later, when I was 14, I went on a holiday to England with my sister, who was 16 (and in the Sea Org at Flag) and my brother who was 12. We went to see my step mom, Angela. While I was there I decided to join the Sea Org in England thinking that this was the right thing to do. Things were very off policy and I could write a whole article about this but won’t at this time. I worked 16 hours a day and did not attend school. I was in the Sea Org till the age of 18 when I left, never to return.

When I was 15 my mother was declared. This is another story in itself, but the short version is that my step father, Albert Jaquier, donated 6 million dollars to the Church and was owed millions of dollars from different Scientologists who he had loaned money to in order for them to buy church services. He was in bad health and was not making money due to his condition. He tried for years through the Church to get the money owed him by these Scientologists returned. Nothing happened, despite him writing to David Miscavige for help and getting no response and becoming the target and sent to ethics. He was not allowed to use the court system to get his money back as he was told this was "off policy." In the end he was so distraught and miserable that he committed suicide, leaving behind a 6 year old boy. This was a man who was a self made millionaire and he died in total despair and sadness with not a penny to his name. He asked my mother before he died to help get the scene sorted out with the Church and to make his story known. There are many more details, but I am not writing a book at this point so I am only covering the basics. As I said earlier my mother went to Switzerland, to the local org and asked to have a Chaplains Court to get the money returned. Of course, they took NO responsibility for their crimes but instead sued my mother and tried to get her jailed for "blackmail" because she provided evidence to the state concerning her husband’s death. The case went all the way to the Swiss Supreme Court and of course, the church lost as she had done nothing wrong.

The result of this was that my sister (17 at the time), brother (13 at the time) and me were ORDERED to disconnect from our mother or we would be declared SP's and kicked out of the Church and we would also lose our father and step mother. Not knowing what else to do and being convinced that this was the right thing to do we all disconnected from my mother who we all loved very much. As a note my father was living in the States and divorced from my step mom, my brother and I were living in the UK with our step mother but no actual parent and my sister was living in Florida in the Sea Org by herself with no parent or legal guardian and had been since the age of 14.

When I left the Sea Org I came to the US and moved in with my father and brother Raphael. My father’s wife and I had some disagreements and they forced me out. I lived in a very dangerous part of Chicago by myself in an apartment. This was scary for me and I was not enjoying life. I was invited to Scotland to see some friends and when it was time to go back to Chicago I could not bear the thought of returning to the life I had led. I called my Swiss Grandma, (on my mothers side) and begged her to let me come and live with her. My father got the news that I had done this and called me and let me know that he was disconnecting from me because I was in communication with my grandma who was connected to my "SP" mother. I was devastated by this, this was my father and I was 18 years old! I love my father and could not believe that he would do this.

I went to Switzerland and stayed with my grandma for a few weeks, I then flew to Florida and went and lived with my mother. I got a job and met my future husband, Joe. I was living with my mother for a few months before I moved into my own place with Joe. He had a baby boy who I have raised for the past 10 years. I got a college degree and continued working. I was visited by OSA Flag and ordered to disconnect from my mother or I would be declared an SP and would lose my father, brother, sister and step mom. They tried to get me to come into Flag but I did not want to and did not want to disconnect from my own mother.

I did not hear from the Church for a while and was living my life, working hard and getting top grades in my education. My husband and I had a baby girl. When my baby was one month old I got an SP declare in my mail box from the Church of Scientology declaring me for being connected with my mother! No Comm Ev was done. This resulted in my father, brother and sister all disconnecting from me, not because they wanted to but because they had to. Over the years my brother has had communication with me on the Internet and then cut the line because he had to or he would get in trouble with the Church and be declared.

In Sept 2009 I got a phone call from my sister who had left the Sea Org and wanted to get my situation sorted out so that our family could be put back together, I was in agreement with this and requested a Comm Ev. This took months and months with nothing being done even though a Comm Ev is supposed to take 48 hours. My sister stayed in comm with me and my brother also got in comm with me. At Christmas I went to see my brother in LA and we spent the day together, this was great and he expressed how much he had missed me, he also asked to call my mother and was very happy to talk to her and let her know that he had a photo in his wallet of her and my half brother and had had it there all of these past 15 years that he had not been allowed to talk to my mom.

I went home and then the shit hit the fan! My brother called Angela, my step mom growing up, and told her what had happened. She is in the Sea Org in England and told him that this was off policy and quoted the reference from OEC volume 1. Raphael went and spoke to CMO terminals in LA who told him that my idea of being in comm with my sister was "disapproved!" He was then sent to see OSA Int in LA who ORDERED him to disconnect from me and take me off Facebook within 24 hours or he would never get his Bridge and would be declared an SP. So my brother, not knowing what is really right and being scared, took me off Facebook and has not spoken to me since.

My sister refused to disconnect from me. This resulted in my father and brother both disconnecting from her. By the way my sister is pregnant, very nice to have that happen when you are pregnant!!!! My sister has email from our dad where he states he will never be able to see his granddaughter (my daughter who by the way does not understand why she can't see her granddad and is quite hurt by this) and now he probably wont be able to meet his grandson (my sister’s boy).

I recently lost about 50 friends on Facebook, these were all "Scientologists" in the "Church." One of my friends who was not willing to disconnect from me and whom I wont mention by name sent me an email telling me that the MAA in England had sent a broad email to all Scientologists in the UK letting them know that I had been redeclared an SP and that they all needed to disconnect from me. Of course I got no copy of the Comm Ev since the Church is infested with lies and has to cover themselves at all costs and take no responsibility for the lives that they have ruined with their insane off-policy actions and robotic followings of a crazy self-appointed dictator, David Miscavige.

I have kept quiet for the past 10 years but after seeing the outright lies that the Church has told over the past 6 months including that there is no such thing as disconnection, I decided to speak out and tell a short version of my story.

I hope this helps get the truth out. Although, I have to say, it is quite obvious who is lying. It would be a lot easier for the Church to just come clean and take responsibility for their crimes and change their ways and their corrupt, criminal cowardly leader who has twisted any sense of policy and turned the Church into a suppressive extortionist organization where no one has a right to an opinion and where lives are ruined to keep his crimes covered up.

But the truth will come out in the end, just like it has in our entire history.

Written by Melissa Paris

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 16, 2010, 11:18:13 PM
Memoirs written in 1996.

 Julie Gillespie Mayo on LRH
Why post this ? Because It's a woman's perspective on LRH one who worked with the man.

Really long, and written by someone still under the influence. Still you
have clear evidence that Hubbard was not someone you`d trust
with sharp objects. Or anything worth more than a dollar eighty.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 17, 2010, 02:06:37 PM

this is a repost from the youtube channel getbeckyout shows CULT MEMBERS escorting victims to a cash machine i have never seen a Rabi, prist or imam doing this

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 19, 2010, 12:15:42 PM
 Horror Stories
I was just searching "Narconon" here and was reading a post about the Execs being out ethics. Here is what it made me initially think of:

I went to, graduated from, and finally worked at (100+ hours or more per week) Narconon Southern California. (Newport beach and Warner Springs) The execs were SO freakin' out ethics it was miserable.
I was by the way, on staff the day after I graduated - helping grown people detox, come off of drugs and oh yeah - course sup just hours after I graduated myself. I didnt know crap at the time, but was course suping for addicts who just paid $25,000 to come to a rehab to have professionals help them. By the time I graduated Narconon - which took me 4 months - (42 Sauna days included) I saw 19 staff (including the reg and some ethics officers) either blow, get fired, arrested, and 2 overdose and die.
The women who reg'd my parents to get me there - by the end of the first week I was there, she was holed up in her apt. drunk on Listerine. I could not tell my parents this, and I withheld it from them, not to upset them. It was MADNESS!
Ive had dreams of sneaking up to the beat up trailer (which is out o n the open, unlocked) and taking my PC folder...All of the other staff would go up there, smoke cig's and read PC folders at night for fun. I thought it was disgusting.
I have a lot to get off my chest, sheeeit. Im just getting started.
The 2nd day I was there I found a tech dictionary...UNDER MY BED! That caused quite a stir...

I would love to hear more from other ex-Narcononers too! Lets swap stories!

Thanks to this forum for making me feel welcome. Lots of love here.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 20, 2010, 08:33:22 PM
                Christmas on the RPF.

A Christmas greeting from the RPF.

Have you ever wondered what it is like celebrating Christmas in the RPF?  Well, it is not something that you would think could exist in the US today, especially not in a "church."  It's a total denial of anything associated with Christmas.  You are robbed of all of your time and you aren't allowed to have anything to do with Christmas at all!

In all the years I spent on the RPF, Christmas was always suppressed and made nothing of, because there is NOTHING to enjoy.  Every year we all talked about it in a way of "well, next Christmas we will not be here etc.", and tried to forget about it, just hoping that it would soon be over.  Then next Christmas comes and you are still here!! Year after year, old pleasurable memories fade away and one becomes lost to any of the traditional things that Christmas usually brings.  The joy of giving a present, writing Christmas cards to your friends and loved ones, shopping, seeing a movie, eating some good treats, cookies, cheese, nuts, eggnog etc. is denied. The dream is always pushed, "graduate so you can enjoy Christmas"; meanwhile you are lower than a rat. If you have any relatives or a spouse left who still care about you and know where you are, they could drop off a bag of goodies for you, which only accentuates your loneliness, and creates worse feelings for those who never get anything anymore. The RPF I/C has to read and approve every letter. Many times his lines are so overloaded with extra traffic that he spends many hours a day just reading all the mail, before he can allow it in or out. He's supposed to make sure there is no "entheta" or any influences that would disturb Scientology's image.  This went to such an extreme one Christmas that many letters were STOPPED because "they were too long" and then he questioned the group about "how is it possible to write such long letters on your RPF schedule?"  I saw many letters sitting in the RPF Ethics Office that were rejected and even if they were mailed out, it often created real upsets among family and friends as they could not understand why these letters were dated weeks or months earlier! A couple of years ago, the RPF I/C PAC, Chris Meyers, spoke to the 200 or so RPFers and made it clear that he did not have time to spend all day reading mail and checking out presents and disabused the group of spending any time at all writing letters or bothering to try to send anything to friends and family.  Denial and disapproval of anything to do with Christmas by this scrooge made us all even more miserable knowing our families and especially children would not understand!


This "extra" time is spent opening presents that friends and family sent in that made it past security. In a cheesy way the presents are piled up by the leftover crew dining room Christmas tree and officially handed out in front of everyone. If your family didn't send anything, you sat and looked at everybody else opening theirs. If you had a friend in the RPF or a good twin you might be able to get a small treat, which was all you could hope for.  After the "extra 10 minutes" it was back to the normal routines of a full schedule of cleaning, hard work and study from 7.00 am to 11.00 pm. Not a minute extra to do anything that is expected of one's social behavior towards family and friends.  The constant indoctrination by the RPF I/C is "what better way is there to spend Christmas than in session getting sec checked so you can graduate faster?"  If you wanted to call your family, you first had to have it pre-approved by the RPF I/C in writing, which sometimes took days to get.  Writing Christmas cards is only approved to your closest family and on your own time, if you can manage to pay for them yourself with your $5/week. Not to mention the hurdle of actually finding a way to purchase them, since you are not allowed off base.  Just to manage to get the stamps was a challenge itself, and if you missed the one organized purchase run, you lost the chance and your cards didn't go out! If you were extremely lucky you managed to find some other RPFer who was willing to sell some left over stamps. You have 20 minutes for lunch and 20 minutes for dinner, so after having to stand in a 200 man food line for your slop, you essentially have only 10 minutes to EAT.  That is the extent of your "free time."

While the rest of the staff are having parties and splurging on extra food and treats, the RPF get nothing of it and instead have to clean up the mess after staff meals and the traditional "Bosun's party" and "Beer and cheese party".  The crew pigs out on all the Christmas treats and many get drunk and just leave behind a mess for the RPF to clean up.  The only thought running through your head is "one day I will be out of here and enjoy some of this, maybe!"

After Christmas, the real fun begins for the RPF.  If you have ever attended any of the Scientology New Years events, you have seen the pompous, huge, rich looking, elaborate and enormous designs of the stage and the backdrops.  How do you think these elaborate, heavy and intricate columns with gold paint, shadows and detailing are made? You guessed it!  THE RPF!!  THOUSANDS of man hours!!  The goal that Golden Era Productions has is that "each year it has to be more and more impressive and better looking".  It's easy to sit at a computer and dream it all up, but someone on the ground has to put it all together!  About 4-6 weeks before New Years, mid November, the work is started to make these huge columns of Styrofoam and resin. The many pieces are constructed and built separately and finally come together as a huge puzzle which is later transported in big trucks to the Shrine auditorium in Los Angeles.  By the way, they are so huge and are such an investment that most of the structure is used from year to year and stored in the basement of the Shrine.  Each year the big pieces are pulled out of storage and back to the base to be fixed up and redesigned.  Scientology is paying tens of thousands of dollars just to store these big pieces of PR fluff there every year.  To host an event it costs something like $150,000 - $200,000 and if you want to start earlier on the set ups using the Union's work time, it's about $50,000 a day. So the solution has been that the RPF is used for the prep work and everything is prepared in advance, to minimize the union costs.  Usually, the day of the event EVERYTHING is set up in a blitz fashion with the entire RPF starting early in the am.  Could it be that the RPF is kept full of people to keep the costs down and pull off the big events?  Without the thousands of man hours on the ground making that stage - there simply would not be any event! The number of staff at GOLD is declining and it would be an impossible task to have the org staff in PAC do this kind of work on an all-hands basis in addition to their normal posts.  Who would be there to "get the stats up" and make sure the public is confirmed to come to the event?

Continued here...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 24, 2010, 11:43:59 PM
I was conceived in 1973 after a Bosun’s party on board the Apollo. We are all aware of the “unwritten” rule that exists today in the Sea Org, which is essentially that if you get pregnant you either get an abortion or you leave with an almighty chain of shame, guilt and debt hanging around your neck. That is now. Imagine what it was like back then when there were only a handful of sea org members working directly under Ron to save the planet. Getting pregnant was one thing but even remotely considering not having an abortion was… well it wasn’t even an option.


Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 26, 2010, 09:15:40 AM
                      Disconnected and it feels like I'm dying

i got confirmation today that my brother has decided to disconnect from me. where the rest of my family stands (my parents) is unknown at this point.

i'm so alone. i feel... so... alone. i dont even know what to think, my mind is like.. feels like its filled with cement and the only thought that's left is how much this hurts.

how do i deal with this? what am i supposed to do? feel? think??? i just want to curl up into a ball and sleep forever and i cant even sleep. i cant do anything but cry.

i know.. logically.. i should just keep moving forward with my life, make the best of things and *know* that one day they'll come around. i cant wait 20 years to see my family again. my parents will be dead by then. will they ever truly understand my decision? will they ever fucking get it!?!? why is a religion so goddamn important!!!! more important than FAMILY!!!!!! these are the only people i've ever had, who i thought would be there always. i never took it for granted but having such a "stable datum" ripped away so easily is like waking up with no limbs. part of me is missing, and it feels like its gone forever.

how can i walk again? how can i even breathe again knowing the people i've loved my entire life have decided never to speak to me again?

i didn't even get the courtesy of a disconnection letter. nothing. i'm in so much pain, i've never felt anything like this. i dont know what i expect from writing this... just.. needed to do it. this seems like the only place anyone would understand what i'm going through. its better than sinking into my bed i suppose....

god... its not fair.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 26, 2010, 08:26:33 PM
   A scientologist since 1968.
"Had so many engrams taken off" her.

And yet...

This is where 42 years of following Hubbard`s toboggan ride
to the laughing academy will get you.

No disrespect to this poor old victim.
Shame on you Hubbard. Shame on you Miscavige.
Shame on you Ferriss.!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 06, 2010, 03:37:31 PM
                  Dying man with $10,000 limit American Express Card

The Church of Scientology and the dying man with a $10,000 limit American Express Card.

From a series of comments on Marty's blog:
Martin Gibson // July 5, 2010 at 2:35 am | Reply

Speaking of blind leading the blind, a couple of months ago a very physically dibilatated friend of mine was on the recieving end of “enlightenment” calls re: acc’s release. He was asking about how to get help and told, well you need osa clearance and blah blah. The guys dying, and thats the level of comm… Some kind of dis-interest. Anyway they find out he has a 10,000 AMEX and “8-c”, meaning force, him (for the greatest good or what ever stand over tactic came to hand) to give the number. Then he, the reg, asks for the security number. He had not even finalised if he wanted the things or not, but said it was to show my friend was of good faith, to show he meant his word! My friend couldnt think and just scrambled the order of the code. Next day 5000 was gone. Money a dying, bed ridden bloke could use for something like the greater good of ACTUALLY BEING ABLE TO BUY FOOD. He was upset the next day and called AMEX, they said they wanted to move on it after his query as to where it went came up as Melbourne Org (the guy obviously knew something was up and tried different combinations of sec numbers). He called Melbourne Org and they denied it, refused blame as it was a sea-org member that had done it. My friend spoke to the reg-sea org guy and asked him why he had done it when he was continually told he needed OSA clearance to fart. The reg-sea org guy said I AM OSA!!! A guy called Nick. Now who is Nick in CLO ANZO, forgive me if I am wrong, but isnt it Nick Broadhurst? So my friend is in and out of comm, and did at the time tell AMEX not to proceed legally, but that was pending the STOLEN funds being returned. Ahh thats better, I was sitting on that for 4 months. And Marty, that cycle happened within 2 weeks of talking to you about how to help him. It really needles the old help button, but I guess its all a part of really finding out.

Linda // July 5, 2010 at 3:08 pm | Reply

Martin, I REALLY hope that your friend got his money back. If he hasn’t, then it’s time to proceed legally. I hope he will call AMEX for help now. He can let Xenophon know too if he wants to ensure that “Nick” is held accountable for his crime (it is a crime).

Martin Gibson // July 5, 2010 at 10:53 pm

Its good advice Linda, what he will do though is justify it. And that means justifying away his sanity, again, and going into confusion, and then “forgetting about it as something over there”. I witheld his name out of respect, but these details are too powerful to hide. Nick Broadhurst is collecting friends on facebook these days, we even have some friends in common, I was thinking of slipping in with the masses and writing something scathing on his wall, but it isnt my personal battle so I wouldnt bear the sole brunt of the return entheta.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 16, 2010, 08:54:03 AM

                                      Jamie’s adventure

Disconnected from her dad...with photos.

Scientology..... Evil CULT !!!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 17, 2010, 07:19:20 PM
The Church of Scientology retroactively rescinds, cancels and abrogates the confidentiality of religious confessions.

From a comment by Karen De La Carriere / Jentzsch (Karen#1) on Marty's blog:
Karen#1 // July 16, 2010 at 11:53 pm | Reply

(More on HCO PL “Power to Forgive”)
After 2 months of Sec Checks, I was summoned to Qual for a “D of P R-factor” mid afternoon.
The R-factor was read to me:



This is verbatim.
DM technology.

Forgive me if, as an ex-Scientologist, I think this is very important.

As I explained elsewhere, and as referenced in the HCOB of 30 March 1960, normally when one is given a security check (sec check) that can and will be used against them for the purpose of a "Justice Action" and will not be kept confidential, they are given prior warning (or in Scientologese, the "R factor" or reality factor) by use of the phrase "I am not auditing you." If the auditor begins the security check by using the phrase "I am not auditing you," then you know that it is a true sec check that will not be kept confidential and can and will be used against you in a "Justice Action."

If, on the other hand, the auditor does not say the critical words "I am not auditing you," then it is a true confessional that, at least per Scientology scriptures, should be kept confidential and cannot be used against you in a "Justice Action" or any other purpose."

What Karen is saying is that even when the prior confessional was a true, religious confessional, and not a sec check, because the parishioner was not given the warning of "I am not auditing you" and therefore the parishioner had a reasonable expectation that the confession would be kept confidential and would not be used against her in an "Justice Action" or for any other purpose, the COS would retroactively rescind, cancel and abrogate the confidentiality of the prior religious confession with no prior warning.

The bottom line is that if a person sees a Church of Scientology Auditor and Minister to give a true religious confession (and not a sec check), is not given the warning that the Auditor and Minister is not auditing them, and properly and reasonably believes, per the scriptures of the Church of Scientology, that the confession will be kept in confidence and will not be used against them in a "Justice Action" or for any other purpose, that confidentiality can be retroactively rescinded, canceled and abrogated at any time without warning or recourse.

ESMB Thread: Retroactive cancellation of confidentiality of religious confessions

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 04, 2010, 11:20:34 PM
                                        1 The early years

As a teenager, Maureen Bolstad hoped Scientology would help her treat her sick mother: very soon though, she witnessed the disturbing effects of its therapy.

Maureen Bolstad was only 11 in 1977 when she was first introduced to Dianetics.

Her mentor was the man her mother was seeing, Bill Ward. “He moved in and he had a bunch of books,” she recalled.

One day, she said, she was bragging to him about how she had a genius IQ and had been put in a special class for mentally gifted kids. If you think you’re so smart, he replied, try to read this book.

“He handed me the hardback Dianetics book and he said, ‘You’re probably just going to fall asleep after the first three pages.And I said, I’m smart, I can read this.">

“Of course I did I fall asleep after the first three pages because it is not that easy to read … I was stumped and I thought ‘Wow, I guess I’m not as smart as I thought I was.’”

Dianetics, the Modern Science of Mental Health, L. Ron Hubbard’s first venture into the self-help field, was a bestseller when it was first published in 1950, despite being dismissed by scientists and mental health professionals.

Bolstad started to do some of Hubbard’s training routines with her new step-father. In one exercise, known as bull-baiting, one person has to try to provoke a response from their training partner, while the other tries not to react.

“I remember the bull-baiting part because he had dentures and I would get to where I could pretty much keep my cool and then he would pop his dentures out of his mouth – and I couldn’t deal with that.”

Ward told her that there were Scientology centres available where she could do more advanced courses. “But he wanted to work with me on it himself because he thought if I went into a church they would just try to get my money.”

Bolstad’s mother had serious mental health problems. “She heard voices and she tried to kill herself seven times,” she said. “You know every kid wants to help her Mom… and he said it would help my Mom if I learned these things.”

But her new mentor died of a heart attack, leaving her with no one to teach her. So when a Scientology personality test came through her mail box, she filled it in and went along to the local centre – the Steven’s Creek mission in Santa Clara, California – to get the results.

Scientology’s personality test is a list of 200 seemingly innocuous questions: Are you a slow eater? Can you be a stabilizing influence when others get panicky?

The movement says it provides a scientific summary of your strengths and weaknesses: expert witnesses in government reports and court judgements have repeatedly dismissed it as worthless.

But when the Scientologists at Steven’s Creek told her she had problems, it made sense to her. “They showed me my test results and said that I was sad and I guess I was kind of sad.”

With the money she had saved up from her newspaper rounds, she paid for a communication course – and since she needed a training partner, she paid for her little brother too. This was 1979, so she was 13 at the time; her brother was 11.

Early on however, she had a disturbing experience while practising auditing – the movement’s version of therapy – on her brother.

Using Dianetics techniques, she had got him to go back to memories from before his birth. (Hubbard claimed that people could remember not just pre-birth memories, but previous lives as well.)

“I got him actually to remember something when he was in the womb,” Bolstad recalled. “He was like floating around and hearing stuff.” But he did not seem to be getting any benefit from the experience.

Following her training, she asked him to describe an earlier incident – at which point he began recounting what sounded like something out of the Holocaust: scenes of torture and of bodies being bulldozed into a ditch, some of the victims still alive.

“I was absolutely shocked,” said Bolstad. Her brother too was in great distress and became increasingly agitated. “At one point he actually opened his eyes and started screaming ‘I don’t know where I am! I don’t know what’s going on!’” His eyes were bloodshot, she recalled.

“I got really upset because I thought, am I hurting my little brother?” Their supervisor came over and managed to calm her brother down, and when he came out of the session he had no recollection of the episode.

That was his first experience of auditing.

Bolstad was consumed with self-doubt. “I thought ‘How can you deal with extreme trauma in an individual and not know what you are doing?’ It seemed kinda odd to me. So they said ‘Yeah … you need to get more training so you know how to deal with this because your brother is a really tough case.’

“My brother? He was about 12. How can he be a tough case?”

Bolstad had put her finger on one of the main charges that critics of Scientology level at the movement.

A report by Kevin Anderson QC for the State of Victoria, Australia, in 1965 described it as “the world's largest organization of unqualified persons engaged in the practice of dangerous techniques which masquerade as mental therapy.”

At the time however, Bolstad was just a teenager. She allowed herself to be reassured by her new mentors, and because she could not afford to buy more courses, she and her brother agreed to work at the centre in return for more training.

“I never actually ended up getting any training – I ended up just working my butt off for them for like 18 years.”

Bolstad earned about $20 a week working at the centre after school and weekends (she was making more than twice that – $45 – from her three paper routes). But one of the reasons she persisted was she still hoped to be able to help her mother.

There were still things she noticed that made her uneasy, however. “There was this thing called the posse back then.” The posse was a group of four or five people who would watch the room at any Scientology events to check for anyone there who didn’t appear sufficiently enthusiastic, she said.

“If they seemed kind of sad or if they left early or whatever, they wrote their name down and then later, three posse members or even maybe four would take that person in to a room and say ‘Okay we know noticed you had some bad indicators at the last event, what’s going on? Tell us what’s going on with you?’ and interrogate them.

“It didn’t really mean anything to me when I was a kid, but then it happened to my brother – my little brother who was only 13 years old and the posse took him into a room and were asking him these introverting questions…”

Her bosses had invited her along because they wanted her to try her out for the posse. But she knew why her little brother was depressed: their mother was mentally ill and he was not doing well at school. “I mean he is not going to be like, smiling all the time...

“They just pummelled him with questions … ‘So what’s going on? Is there something you are doing in your life that’s wrong?’ … and my little brother just broke down and started crying. He was like shaking he was so scared.

That was really mean. I didn’t know what to think or feel: I thought ‘This doesn’t make any sense to me.’”

Years later, when they talked about it together, her brother told her that his problems at school had been directly related to his work at the Scientology centre. "The work there took up so much of his time that he was missing classes due to lack of sleep," said Bolstad.

Kingsley Wimbush, the head of the mission at the time, was subsequently expelled from the movement during a purge of Scientology mission-holders, accused of unorthodox practices.

But Bolstad says that what went on in the posse was similar to what she subsequently witnessed inside the Sea Org.

In 1982, she heard about how Wimbush and a senior colleague, Clay Primrose, had been cast out of the movement. Scientology’s leadership had declared both men suppressive persons: enemies of Scientology and of humanity in general.

“I really didn’t know what it meant to be declared until I saw Clay and his daughter walking to the mall.” She offered them a ride down and then back again, later. But when she mentioned it to her boss at the mission, she was horrified.

“She said ‘They are suppressive! You are not supposed to talk to them any more,’ and I was like, ‘What? I’m not? I mean they’re people!’ and she said ‘No, you are not allowed – you can get declared for that too.’”

Her boss showed her the relevant entries in the Scientology literature.

Sure enough, in Introduction to Scientology Ethics, Hubbard lists the following as a suppressive act – one of the worst things a Scientologist can do: “Failure to handle or disavow and disconnect from a person demonstrably guilty of suppressive acts.”

Hubbard wrote in the same chapter: “A truly suppressive person or group has no rights of any kind as Scientologists.”

In 1982, soon after the expulsions, the Sea Organization recruiters showed up. One of them showed Bolstad photos of Scientology’s base at Clearwater in Florida, known as Flag Land Base.

When he pressed her to sign up for the Sea Org she explained that she wanted to finish high school: not a problem, he replied.

“He basically said if you join the Sea Organization we will help you finish high school, we will help you get an education and go to film school – that’s what I really wanted…” said Bolstad.

He also promised her three weeks a year to visit her mother and full-time Scientology training so she could improve her counselling skills. “I thought ‘Oh wow, great!’ Because I felt that I had messed up on my little brother and I still wanted to remedy that.”

None of those promises were ever honoured, she said.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 05, 2010, 09:20:33 AM
                                         2 Life at Flag

Scientology describes its Flag Land Base in Florida as “The Friendliest Place in the Whole World”. New recruit Maureen Bolstad got a very different impression.

Maureen Bolstad agreed to sign the billion-year contract for Scientology’s Sea Organization because of the promises her recruiter had made her – none of which were ever kept, she said.

He told her she would be able to finish high school; that she would get regular visits home; and be trained in Scientology skills that would help her mentally ill mother.

But as she was still a minor, the recruiter still needed to get her mother to consent to her joining the Sea Org.

“He took me to my apartment and got my mother to sign a parental consent form – and my mother was completely drunk, she was just sitting on the couch.”

When her little brother found out what was going on, he insisted on joining too. So her mother ended up signing consent forms for them both.

Bolstad was barely 16 at the time; her brother, just 14.

Within 24 hours, they had left their home in California and flown to Flag Land Base at Clearwater, Florida – also known as Flag.

To talk her out of going to high school, her superiors painted a frightening picture of a world dominated by the dogma of evil psychiatrists.

“It made the outside world seem so horrible and scary – full of evil. I felt, ‘Wow, I’m safer now because I’m away from all these things in society that are actually the cause of everything.’”

Rather than let her complete her high school education then, she was put to work doing laundry and cleaning at the base. Her brother became a runner, delivering messages between the different offices.

“I had to stay up until about four o’clock in the morning ironing people’s shirts. It was ridiculous because I wasn’t really getting any sleep,” she recalled. “And then I’d have to get up at 7.30 to go to work the next day.”

Scientology describes Flag Land Base as “The Friendliest Place in the Whole World”.

But one thing Bolstad quickly had to get used to was being shouted at a lot. “It was actually pretty shocking," she recalled. "I was getting yelled at every time I made a mistake.”

In an October 1968 policy letter, Scientology’s founder L. Ron Hubbard wrote about something called ethics presence. “As an executive you get compliance because you have ethics presence and persistence and can get mad,” he wrote.

Bolstad put it another way: “You’re taught that if someone knows that you are going to yell at them if they do it wrong, then they are going to be more motivated to do it correctly.”

This kind of macho management was nothing new.

In a July 1994 Internet posting former scientologist Dennis Erlich describes two particularly aggressive officers he came across back in 1976, when Flag had just opened,

One of them, he recalled, “made a habit of getting up on a chair and screaming his lungs out at individual interns… Students would hear him and go silent with terror at the thought of having to confront [his] wrath…”

And he was the nice guy, wrote Erlich.

The other officer “was famous for getting right up inches from your face, poking you in the chest and screaming ‘PIG SHIT!’ when he didn't like your answer to his questions and wanted to show his disgust for you.”

Several former Sea Org members say this kind of drill-sergeant behaviour was the norm at Flag. Some even said you had to cultivate it if you wanted to get on there (see Section Nine).

Bolstad did not take well to this regime: it shook her up so much she only made more mistakes. But her boss did not draw the obvious conclusion.

“She didn’t attribute it to her yelling – she just said I was a Potential Trouble Source, because I had accidents.”

A Potential Trouble Source is a Scientology term meaning someone who is in contact with a suppressive person, one of those inherently destructive people Hubbard designated as the root of all evil.

Clearly, Bolstad just wasn’t getting it: so her boss put her on the running program.
In 1982, when Bolstad experienced it, the running program – or Cause Resurgence Rundown – was something that Hubbard was still developing.

Scientology’s literature describes it as “a special program that can bring about a tremendous boost to one’s levels of cause and control.” Some of its veterans describe it as a living hell.

Bolstad had it relatively easy. “I was on the Running Program for five hours a day,” she recalled. “There was travel time to and from the park where we put up the pole and there were some bathroom breaks and water-drinking breaks.”

With about four hours of actual running daily, she reckoned she was covering about 12 miles – and she thrived on it. “Of course, being 16 years old, running around a pole was actually fun,” she added.

But some of the older people running beside her were clearly suffering, she recalled. “They were just trying to get through it.”

Some 25 years later, former member Marc Headley described how the program worked at the International Base, in Hemet, California.

In those days, wrote Headley in a September 2007 Internet posting, you ran around a pole in the searing California heat to the point of exhaustion. Then after a few minutes rest, you started again.

Inmates had to run at least five hours a day – though eight to ten hours was preferred – and the program could last for weeks, he wrote.

“Most Int base staff who did this program… went through several pairs of shoes, entire feet blistered to shreds, ankle problems, feet problems, leg injuries, extreme weight loss, heat exhaustion…” he noted.

Things improved for Bolstad when she was put to work studying Scientology materials. For one thing, she started getting more sleep, because you were not meant to go into any therapy session without having slept properly.

And with her $30 a week pay, she was able to supplement the communal meals with fresh fruit and protein bars.

So although she was still working or studying 16 hours a day, seven days a week, she began to feel better.

Even her boss’s screaming fits stopped bothering her.

“When I was on this running program I actually felt I was feeling stronger, the exercise was making me happier – so when she yelled at me it didn’t bother me any more.

“I felt better and I also realised that she wasn’t mad at me – she was just mad. That was something I didn’t notice before. I noticed she yelled at everybody.”

By now, Bolstad was being trained up for the Commodore’s Messenger Org (CMO), a group of youngsters who acted as the founder’s personal aides (Hubbard had by this time promoted himself to the rank of Commodore).

She was kitted out in the standard Sea Org uniform: dark-coloured shoes and slacks and an ironed white shirt with a blue-and-gold lanyard, the colours designating her as a member of the CMO.

The CMO was something special, even inside the Sea Org, said Bolstad.

“You are taught there that basically you are an emissary of the Commodore and if other staff members don’t show you the respect that they would show L. Ron Hubbard then that’s wrong and you have to correct them on that.”

At 16, going on 17, she was not completely comfortable demanding respect from people old enough to be her parents. “Personally I don’t think that was very healthy for me as a kid to demand respect from older people.”

But she got that respect.

Then, out of the blue, she got promoted to the International Base at Hemet, California.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 06, 2010, 09:51:40 AM
3 Messenger training

Maureen Bolstad was sent to California to be trained to work beside the movement’s founder: but she wasn’t told the whole story about L. Ron Hubbard.

Maureen Bolstad was delighted when got the call to transfer from Flag Land Base in Clearwater, Florida to the International Base at Hemet, California.

For one thing, it meant she would get to go back to her home state. “Florida is nice for a visit, but California has always been my home.”

Her superiors also made it clear that this was a significant step up. Bolstad was “going over the rainbow”, which in Scientology terms meant she would be working closer to L. Ron Hubbard, the movement’s revered founder.

In Florida, Bolstad had already started training for work with the Commodore’s Messenger Organization, a group of teenagers who acted as Hubbard’s envoys and aides. But when she arrived at the International Base, she learned she was in line for an even more important post.

“I was told I was being recruited to be a Messenger on Duty.” That meant she would be working with Hubbard on a regular basis.

“Someone was always ‘on watch’ at any given time to tend to Hubbard's needs and to ‘keep distractions off of his lines’, so that he could do his research and write, etc,” said Bolstad.

But that was only half the story: anyone working with Hubbard also had to adapt to his various eccentricities: a complete intolerance of dust and smells, growing paranoia – and terrible rages.

Adell and Ernie Hartwell could have warned her.

They only got involved in Scientology because of their daughter. Following her in when she joined in the late 1970s they found themselves being whisked to a secret desert location (Indio, California) where Hubbard and his crew were making movies.

Adell Hartwell did not mince her words about Hubbard when she testified in the 1982 hearings into Scientology in Clearwater Florida.

“I saw him throw fits. I actually saw him take his hat off one day and stomp on it and cry like a baby. I have seen him just take his arm like this and throw it wild and hit girls in the face.

“And one girl would follow him with a chair. If he sat down, that chair had to be right where he was going to sit. One girl missed by a few inches, he about fell off of it, and she was put in the RPF.”

Her husband Ernie agreed: “He was a screaming maniac the three or four times that I saw him," he told the hearings.

It was during this time of course, that the young David Miscavige worked at Hubbard’s side.

Back then however, Bolstad had no idea just how difficult Hubbard could be. Nor did she fully understand why Hubbard was living in seclusion.

“I actually did not know that Hubbard was hiding from the law, I was never told this. I was just told that he kept his location secret because he was being ‘fabian’, which is a quality Sea Organization members are supposed to understand.

“It had to do with avoiding evil influences in society by being hard to aim at and find. It seemed all pretty cool, cloak-and-dagger, exciting.”

In the glossary to Hubbard’s Welcome to the Sea Org lectures, fabian is defined as “remaining elusive, hard to hit, refusing direct engagement with an enemy. From the name of a Roman general, Quintus Fabius Maximus (died 203 B.C.) who successfully employed such tactics.”

That definition indicated Hubbard’s real concerns.

In 1977, FBI raids on Scientology offices in the United States had uncovered Operation Snow White, an extensive spying operation on US federal government offices, which led to many senior Scientology executives being successfully prosecuted.

By the early 1980s 11 senior Scientologists, including his own wife Mary Sue, had received jail sentences over the affair.

Hubbard himself had been named as an unindicted co-conspirator in the case and, fearing arrest, had kept his whereabouts a closely guarded secret.

But all that was about to change, Bolstad was told. Now he was ready to come out of seclusion.

“They needed Messengers on Duty… because the idea back then was that Hubbard was going to come back, he was going to be able to make the Hemet base his home, his office. They needed a new set of Messengers trained to be on duty with him, so I was one of those.”

It was a very specific training, designed to meet Hubbard’s particular needs, she recalled. “I had to learn how to carry a cassette recorder, a notepad and an ashtray and a bag full of things like sunglasses and sun tan lotion and gloves and things like that.”

They would role-play how to behave in front of Hubbard: their trainer played the Commodore and they had to be sure they responded correctly.

“We had to take notes on whatever she was saying and know when to turn the recorder on and know when to hold the ash-tray out so, learning how to basically be a super-secretary… to type really fast.”

Typing was not much of a problem as she had already learned that at school. But other skills were new to her.

“I had to learn how to duplicate a verbal message – meaning the person would say the message and I had to be able to remember the whole message exactly, word for word, and repeat it back to them – and then also go and tell another person that message without any alterations, including the tone that it was said in.”
Bolstad’s account of the Commodore’s particular needs – which matches those of former messengers who worked alongside Hubbard – finds an echo in Miscavige’s later behaviour.

For once he was sure of his position at the top, he became just as demanding, just as intolerant of anything that did not meet his standards.

Int Base veteran Jeff Hawkins, who for years suffered verbal abuse and even beatings from Miscavige, remembers the panic that set in when Miscavige returned from a trip away.

“When he’s about to return to the Base, it’s a scene like the one at the beginning of The Devil Wears Prada where Miranda Priestly is arriving at the office and everyone is scurrying madly: ‘Gird your loins, everyone!’

“The Base is usually cleaned in a panic the day before, offices spruced up, and everyone on high alert,” he said.

“The day he arrives, he usually does a walk-through of the Base, visiting all areas. Everyone knows he is looking for ‘bad indicators’ – someone who tries to hide, or gives an inappropriate response, or doesn’t give a proper greeting, or appears too enthusiastic and so on.”

If you did not pass muster in Miscavige’s eyes, you could be hauled up before the Ethics Officers – Scientology’s thought police – said Hawkins. Their job was to correct any hint of dissent through lengthy interrogations and, if necessary, punishment details.

“Needless to say, there is an atmosphere of suppressed panic throughout the Base, while everyone assures each other ‘how great it is to have COB back on the Base.’”

COB, of course, is Miscavige: Chairman of the Board of the Religious Technology Center.

Everywhere Miscavige went, he went with an entourage, said Hawkins.

“They always dress identically to DM. If he is dressed in all black (a favorite costume), then they are in all black. If he’s all in white, they are too. If he is dressed casually, they are too.

“They carry two small hand-held tape recorders. The minute he starts to speak, one of these is turned on, so that his every word is recorded.”

The tapes would then be rushed away to be transcribed and converted into memos, which when issued had to be given top priority.

“And one could not have or express any disagreement with these orders and reams of paper. To do so, even in the slightest, was to be hauled off by the Ethics Officers…”

All this, however, was two decades down road.
Bolstad felt honoured to have been selected and happy she was finally going to meet Hubbard, the Commodore himself.

“I wanted to meet him because so many people absolutely adored him and they would always clap at his picture – hip-hip-hooray and all that stuff.”

In the early days of her membership, back at the centre in California, she had learned that praising Hubbard was part of the routine: it was, for example, a standard part of the graduation ceremonies when someone had completed a course.

“You’re supposed to say, ‘I had these had great wins on my course. Thank you L. Ron Hubbard,’ and they would turn around to his picture and everyone else would turn around to his picture and clap and stand up and say ‘Hip-hip hooray’…”

And Bolstad, at the time, felt the same sense of devotion. “I had this idea that he had discovered this great truth that was going to revolutionise the psychiatric field, I greatly admired and respected him…

“It was sort of like if you’re starving or in need of water and someone gives you a glass of water without you having to ask I mean that is sort of how I felt, like ‘Oh wow, you really understand these things in my life.’”

As things turned out however, she never got to meet him.

Hubbard stayed in hiding, accompanied by just a handful of followers, until his death in 1986.

And when it became clear that Hubbard was not, after all, going to be coming out of hiding, Bolstad was reassigned to other duties.

Before long, she had begun a hectic period of international travel as part of Scientology’s film unit.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 07, 2010, 11:49:07 AM
4 Int Base in the '80s

Former Sea Org member Maureen Bolstad’s move from Flag Base in Florida to the International Base at Hemet, California, was in some ways a relief. But the work-rate remained relentless.

When Maureen Bolstad first arrived at the International Base, in late 1983, it was a welcome relief from the grind at the Flag Land Base in Clearwater, Florida.

For one thing, she was getting more sleep: six or seven hours a night – better than the four hours or so that for a while was the best she could hope for in Florida.

But she was not especially pleased with her sleeping arrangements: she was sharing a cramped dormitory with 12 other girls.

And she could still expect to pull in an all-nighter at least once a week.

Some nights, for example, she found herself on laundry duty for Scientology’s founder, L. Ron Hubbard.

Hubbard was living at a secret location elsewhere in California and sent his dirty clothes to the International Base.

“About seven Messengers would gather together to hand wash each piece of clothing in special fragrance free soap, and we'd rinse each article in these five-gallon bins that we filled over and over again with filtered water,” Bolstad recalled.

“We'd stay up sometimes 24 to 48 hours straight – depending on how much we had to wash and if it ‘passed’ inspection or not – passed the smell test.”

As part of her training for this task, she even had to read instructions written by Hubbard about how perfumes were part of a plot by his enemies.

According to LRH, perfumes had been “invented by evil psychiatrists … to confuse the senses and confuse people,” wrote Bolstad in a posting to the Ex Scientologist Message Board.

“That's why we had to use the special soaps and really rinse well. Those darn psychiatrists were trying to distract LRH with perfumed detergents!”

Hubbard was notoriously sensitive on this point. One former messenger, Doreen Gillham, has described how he would throw a tantrum if he thought he detected the least smell on a shirt.

“He would tear them off the hangers and throw them down,” she told the LA Times in a 1990 interview. “We're talking 30 shirts on the floor.”

Bolstad also spent time on something called the Decks Project Force, which involved hard physical labour such as construction work –all for $30 a week.

“I never got an entire day off for anything: I never got to visit my own mother until later, in 1987. I'd been promised three weeks off a year to visit my family and I was being denied that.”

This was 1983, when Bolstad was just 16, going on 17: when she should have been at high school.

While her superiors had managed to talk her out of finishing high school, they were quite happy to take advantage of the skills she had picked up while still in full-time education.

“For example, I learned basic carpentry and wood work in junior high school… I was really good at it.” So they put her to work making cabinets as part of a renovation project for what was meant to be Hubbard’s impending return.

But in the early years, there was a good side to life at the Int. Base, she conceded.

“There were horses and there were chickens and they would follow me around and it was just adorable and there was a rooster that would make noises in the morning.”

For most of her life, she had lived in small houses, so getting the run of “this big old creaky house was really fun – plus I got to ride the horses!” she said.

“I had time to go jogging in the morning, because there was no fence, so I could just go running down Highway 79 at six in the morning or 11 o’clock at night... In fact I would go jogging around the entire property and get a good three- or four-mile run.”

By the time she quit Scientology, security was so tight you could not even get off the base without special permission.

But in the beginning, she was young and strong and full of hope: she was working with Ron to make the world a better place. And she was ready to make sacrifices, confident that in time she would reap the benefits.

Looking back, she feels differently.

“I was pretty wide-eyed and excited about new experiences, but I had no real concept of the fact that I was being taken advantage of.”
Eventually, when it became clear that Hubbard was not, after all, going to be coming out of hiding – that she would not be needed as one of his assistants – she was given other duties.

Here again, her previous education helped: having picked up some experience making films at high school they put her to work in the Cine-Messenger Unit.

At first, she worked with the film crew, sending detailed notes to Hubbard about their work. “If there was a problem, I had to propose a solution – and I would stay up until three in the morning typing up my notes and my solutions to the problem.”

Gradually, she won more responsibility, to the point where she spent much of the next decade travelling the world doing film work for the movement. It was a period of hectic activity.

“I was a superhuman – I stayed up all night and did videos and I was actually having a lot of fun and I was in perfectly good health and didn’t think I had any emotional issues.”

In Colorado, she did a video about an activist with the Citizens Commission for Human Rights, the Scientology campaigning front against psychiatry; in Rome, she shot footage to promote the Italian branch of Narconon, Scientology’s anti-drugs programme; and in Venezuela, she profiled a leading member of the Scientology community there.

For a couple of years, she even made regular visits to the Caribbean to help the work of Scientology’s cruise ship Freewinds, where public members pay thousands of dollars to receive the movement’s upper-level teachings.

“I did videos of all these different islands and then I took them back to Gold (the International Base) and they were edited to music and given to the island as a gift so they could use that video to promote tourism to the island.”

She visited 22 different islands and ports in the Caribbean and Mexico and still looks back on that period as one of the best in her life.

“I wasn’t getting much sleep and I wasn’t really getting paid that much but I did get food, room and board and I got to go to all these different islands.” And she liked the people with whom she was working.

Bolstad also did a lot of the camerawork at the annual gatherings of the International Association of Scientologists.

These were prestigious black-tie occasions that brought together the movement’s most prominent public members such as celebrities such as Tom Cruise and John Travolta.

In the late 1980s the IAS events were so important in the Scientology calendar that they were broadcast by satellite to the movement’s centres worldwide.

David Miscavige assumed the role of master of ceremonies at such gatherings, increasing his profile among the membership. By that time, he was generally acknowledged as the movement’s undisputed leader.

And since at this point Bolstad played a key role at the IAS events, she never had any problem with him.

“He would thank me for when I did a good job. He would make a point of telling my superiors that I did a good job and so then I would get respect from my co-workers.”

From a professional point of view at least, this was an extremely satisfying time for her. “The 80s were more fun … and then it got heavier after that.”

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 08, 2010, 04:13:02 PM
             Were these things on your staff contract ?
                   Re : Claire and Marc Headleys lawsuits.

 Other practices that made it into court records include:

    * Sleep and food deprivation of Sea Org employees;
    * Heavy and demeaning manual labor as punishment;
    * Screening and censorship of employee communications;
    * Threats of job loss for those who refuse abortions;
    * Physical and procedural restrictions on the ability of Sea Org employees to leave;
    * Church-enforced "Disconnection" (utter rejection) of former Sea Org employees by their families; and
    * Harsh discipline against Sea Org employees who voice a desire to leave.

I suggest you put them in. Just so you know how low you have sunk.

See what your Human rights groups say about these practices !!!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 10, 2010, 10:37:17 AM
5 A tougher regime

Life at Scientology’s International Base, at Hemet, California, got steadily more oppressive from the early 1990s, former Sea Org member Maureen Bolstad recalls.

From 1985 until well into the 1990s Maureen Bolstad spent a lot of time travelling doing film work for Scientology.

Her work shooting the special events that helped establish David Miscavige as the movement’s undisputed leader won her his respect. And that brought a certain status at the International Base.

But as she began to spend more time at the base in the early 1990s, she noticed that there was another side to Miscavige.

“He could be a hard task-master,” she said, recalling how tough he was on one man in particular. “Every time I saw them together DM [Miscavige] was yelling at him about something or other.”

And there were other changes in his behaviour. Sometimes it was just the odd sarcastic remark. Others times, he would lay down the law. “Nobody’s going home until this gets done,” he would tell staff.

“One time he got really snide and he handed out Hershey chocolate bars to everyone.” He was alluding to one of the policy letters written by the movement’s founder.

“L. Ron Hubbard’s theory about why there was so much trouble at the Hershey chocolate factory was that Hershey was treating his workers too well,” Bolstad explained. “They had it too good.

“So David Miscavige said, ‘Oh look, we’ve fixed up our dining hall and we have got all this great food – you have your exercise park and your sports fields… we have all of these things, and you’re not getting your work done. So here’s some Hershey candy bars for you.’”

In “Blow-Offs”, a December 1959 policy letter, Hubbard wrote: “Probably the finest working conditions in the world were achieved by Mr. Hershey of chocolate bar fame for his plant workers. Yet they revolted and even shot at him.”

But he added: “This in its turn led to an industrial philosophy that the worse workers were treated the more willing they were to stay which in itself is as untrue as the better they are treated the faster they blow off.”

Miscavige must have forgotten that passage: he started cracking the whip.

In the early 1990s, senior officers at the base were ordered to introduce a tougher regime, which involved military-style drills.

Now, in addition to their normal duties, hundreds of staffers found themselves marching around the compound.

This was no picnic in the blazing California sun, and many of them were already exhausted from their existing workload and from lack of sleep.

Workers were also obliged to attend three musters, or roll calls, a day – with strict penalties for no-shows.

“If you were late for muster twice in a row you would get sent to the RPF,” (the Rehabilitation Project Force) Scientology’s dreaded the punishment programme.

Bolstad however, got a certain amount of leeway.

Because she was still in Miscavige’s good books, she found she could get away with misdemeanours that would have spelt serious trouble for other members of staff.

If she failed to turn up in full uniform or forgot to deliver a report, her superior officer would turn a blind eye. “You get some sort of slack – and you need it – when you are working such long hours.”
At some time around 1993 or 1994, Scientology’s leader, David Miscavige, started holding briefings for everybody. The staff of the International Base – in those days, perhaps a thousand people – would be summoned to hear their leader.

“He would brief everyone about the state of affairs and he would say who he was mad at, and about what,” she recalled.

Suddenly, Miscavige was making a point of naming and shaming – and once Miscavige had publicly humiliated you, your stock was worth nothing at the base.

“He was bypassing normal ethics procedure,” recalled Bolstad. “He would denounce people in front of the whole crew as being a screw-up or a mess-up.”

Whatever outsiders might think of Scientology’s disciplinary code there had at least been a recognised procedure, set out in detail by Hubbard.

Punishments could be harsh – in Hubbard’s day you could be thrown overboard from a ship or put on a forced labour programme – and sometimes whole divisions could suffer the same penalties.

But whatever happened, certain rules were meant to be followed.

Now however Miscavige appeared to be acting as judge, jury and executioner. Only Hubbard had claimed such powers in the past.

Gradually, Bolstad and her colleagues found they could not get anything done without Miscavige’s specific approval. “He was micro-managing more and more.”

And when things went wrong, Miscavige looked for someone to blame.

“He had this thing where if a person made a mistake or did something wrong… that mistake was intentional,” said Bolstad.

“And so the way to deal with it was to single the person out who made the mistake and accuse them of having evil intentions or trying to sabotage things.”

Scientology’s literature is packed with examples of the same principle: believers are encouraged to learn how to shatter suppression.

And all this of course, came from the writings of L. Ron Hubbard.

“People making mistakes or doing stupid things is evidence that an SP exists in that vicinity,” he wrote in a March 1968 policy letter: an SP of course being a Suppressive Person – an enemy of Scientology.

This attitude was something all Sea Org members had drummed into them during training, Bolstad explained. “I actually started to think that way.”

She recalled one particularly troublesome shoot on which things kept going wrong,

“The film was going into overtime and lots of money was being spent on re-shooting and stuff like that and I found myself accusing or thinking that other staff were purposely trying to prevent the film from going out…

“There was even one time when I found myself accusing a fellow staff member ‘You’re purposefully trying to prevent us from getting this film done aren’t you? You are trying to stop Scientology dissemination.’”

She even wrote a list of people she thought might be suppressives – enemies of Scientology deliberately trying to sabotage their work – and sent it off to her superiors.

Looking back, Bolstad struggled to explain the mind-set. “I guess you could call it paranoia, a distrust of your fellow staff members.

“It is an explanation for things going wrong besides taking a look at the fact that the planning was all wrong and that people weren’t getting enough sleep.”

But that was how the system worked, she said. You did not question the oppressive work-load imposed from on high: when thing went wrong, you looked for the suppressive influence.

Bolstad was still much in demand as a camera operator: if she wasn’t getting put on a plane for a shoot abroad, there was plenty of work at the base or nearby.

She enjoyed her reputation as the go-to person, the one who got the job done. But by 1993, it was taking its toll.

“I realised I was only getting two and a half hours sleep. I realised that the only reward for doing all this great work – apart from getting a bit of slack from the disciplinary committee – was I just kept getting more and more work to do.

“The better I got, the more work I got to do – and at one point I thought, ‘You know, I don’t want to be the best at anything any more. I want to go home on time.’”

But the pressure just kept on increasing. And then her life started falling apart.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 11, 2010, 08:49:58 AM
6 Disconnection

By the early 1990s years of over-work and lack of sleep were taking their toll on Maureen Bolstad’s health. Scientology’s solution was to force her to disconnect from her mother.

For everyone who worked in Scientology Sea Organization, particularly at the International Base, near Hemet, in California, the priority was to “make it go right”.

Every Sea Org member knew that their superiors did not want to hear about their problems: they only wanted solutions.

But this gung-ho, can-do attitude meant staff pushed themselves beyond their natural limits. This was as true for Maureen Bolstad as it was for any of the others.

On one occasion in 1988 she worked four days and four nights without sleep. She and her film crew colleagues had been told they could not go home until a job had been done.

She was on her fifth day up when she fell asleep at her computer terminal. A colleague tried to wake her up, she recalled in a posting to the Ex Scientologist Message Board.

“I heard his voice like it was coming from a tunnel and he was calling me from far away… ut I was struggling to get myself to wake up and just get my eyes open.

“Everything was really fuzzy. When I woke up, I was gasping for air and my lungs and throat were burning.

“My whole body had this strange tingling feeling like a hand or a foot that had fallen asleep and was waking up, but it was all over my whole body.

“My head was throbbing and my chest and lower neck area felt like someone had punched me really really hard. It was all cramped up…”

While that was perhaps her longest period without sleep, pulling overnighters were fairly common at the base – and seven hours’ sleep a night was just a dream for most of the staff there.

A year later, in 1989, she was tidying up some video cables, cutting off the excess ends when one of her superiors took it upon himself to start bawling her out.

Flustered and distracted, she turned back to her work – and a wire from the cable went into her left eye.

But she still had to finish the job.

The next day, running a high temperature and with a splitting headache, she was given antibiotics and an eye patch and told to rest.

Within an hour – and despite being in a great deal of pain – she had been pulled back to work.

Although her eye eventually healed, she lost her 20/20 vision.
Like many of her colleagues Maureen Bolstad had for years soldiered on despite a crushing workload, little or no sleep and virtually no time off.

Then in 1991, when discipline at the base tightened, Bolstad started getting into trouble.

She was missing too many of the obligatory musters, the roll calls that had been introduced as part of the new “get tough” regime.

She was still a key member of film crew and her colleagues tried to cover for her, explaining that she was sick – which by this time was no more than the truth.

But that just generated more problems.

Rather than attribute her illness to overwork and lack of sleep, her superiors decided the real problem was “enturbulation” – a Hubbardism for commotion and upset – from the outside world.

They explained to her that her mentally ill mother’s constant depression, her chronic sickness, was a sure sign that she was “below 2.0” on the tone scale.

The tone scale is a chart of Hubbard’s devising – and so by definition infallible. It is supposed to chart the range of emotional states, assigning numerical values to each one: from “body death” at zero on the scale to “Serenity of Beingness” at 40.

Maureen’s superiors showed her passages from one of Hubbard’s early works, The Science of Survival (1951) to explain why being below 2.0 (“antagonism”) was so serious.

“I was shown chapters … about how terrible people are below that tone level,” she said. “It implied that she was indeed a suppressive person by virtue of the fact that she was chronically ill.”

Her superiors wanted her to break off contact from her mother.

But one of the main reasons she had got involved in Scientology was the recruiter's promise that the skills it offered might help her cure her mother’s mental illness.

For Scientology however, the fact that her mother was being treated by a psychiatrist – and taking psychiatric drugs – meant that she was beyond help. For only high-tone people were able to advance up Scientology’s Bridge to Total Freedom.

During her 18 years at the International Base, Maureen had managed to get clearance to visit her perhaps three times, each time for less than a week. “Because my mother was seeing a psychiatrist I was discouraged from seeing her at all.”

Now however she was being told to sever all links with her.
Bolstad had already had a taste of how devastating the disconnection process could be.

Early on in her Scientology career, she had been told to break contact from her step-father, who had been unhappy that her mother had let her join the Sea Org.

Bolstad was devoted to her step-father: he fixed her up when she messed up a knee skateboarding; he bought her first dictionaries for her; and his coaching in maths and science helped her shine at school. Her step-father had been there for her when she needed him.

But her superiors in Scientology had decided he was suppressive.

They gave her a draft of a letter and made her copy it out: in it, she said she told him she would have no more contact with him.

It was only later that her sister, who had followed her into Scientology, told her the effect the letter had had on him. He had been devastated, reduced to tears – something she had never imagined.

It was her first real taste of Scientology’s ethics system. And even if later, she had been permitted to re-establish contact with him, it left its mark.

Now she was being told to cut off contact with her mother.

“I was informed that disconnecting would be better for her too, because then she would not feel guilty for dragging me down with her,” she recalled.

In 1992, under pressure from her ethics officers, Maureen did as she was told and disconnected.

“I actually wrote her a formal letter,” she recalled. “I didn’t want to send it, I chickened out, but my sister had already sent hers and I thought, ‘Oh shoot, I guess I better send mine,’ and I did – and I so regretted it because it upset my mother so much...

“That just totally ruined everything: I disconnected from my mother, which is the whole reason I was there.”
Eventually, the guilt proved too much.

By 1994 she was back in touch with her mother, writing letters and even managing to get one phone call past her supervisors. She wanted to make it up to her mother for having cut her out of her life. She even planned to visit.

Here again however, her superiors intervened.

This time they quoted Scientology’s ethic code, warning her that she could be expelled if she did not disconnect once and for all.

Since her mother was considered suppressive because of the psychiatric treatment she was receiving, Maureen had already been labelled a “potential trouble source” for having resumed contact.

“I had all these restrictions placed on me … I was no longer allowed to make phone calls on my own or to come and go from work without an escort or special authorization.

“There was an Ethics Officer who said this was a serious matter. He showed me the Hubbard policies I was in violation of by being in touch with my mother.”

Hubbard, in his Introduction to Scientology Ethics, lists a series of “suppressive acts”, deeds which in themselves are enough to merit being cast out of the movement. One of them is Failure to handle or disavow or disconnect from a person demonstrably guilty of suppressive acts. 

“The Ethics Officer put the dots together and the picture to him was that I was not just harming myself, but all of Scientology by remaining in communication with my mother.

“My mother wasn’t hurting anyone – she just wanted me to visit, that’s all.  She never gave me a hard time about my involvement in Scientology – she could have but she didn’t.  She just needed to see me, give me a hug and I needed to see her too.”

“I didn’t want to disconnect again, I didn’t think it was right, I tried to get my mother to stop taking psychiatric drugs and seeing a psychiatrist.

“I was shown other Hubbard references about how psychiatrists were evil, how mental illnesses are things that they make up and that the drugs my mother was taking were doing more harm than good. I had to get her to take vitamins instead.”

Since Maureen still believed that Scientology was the only true path to spiritual freedom, the threat of being cast out of the movement weighed heavily on her.

“I was being threatened with an SP [Suppressive Person] declare, and being barred from all future Scientology services... So I tried to ‘handle’ my mother and get her to stop her medications.”

As soon as her mother came off her lithium however, she started hearing voices again and was soon committed to a mental institution.

Maureen’s superiors never did manage to get her to make a definitive break with her mother, and this issue was one of factors in her eventual decision to quit her staff post in the movement.

“I felt let down by Scientology completely, because it had done nothing but cause my mother heartache and worsen her situation and life.

“The promises made to me in the beginning were just a bunch of lies to get me to work for them for nothing.”

But it had taken her years to realise that Scientology did not have the answer for her mother’s condition, despite what her recruiter had told her.
It took a little longer before she realised that Scientology did not have the answer to her own problems either.

In fact, Hubbard did set a solution for people like her mother who registered low on his tone scale. In The Science of Survival, he wrote that they should not have civil rights “of any kind”.

And since such people could not be reasoned with, there were only two other options, he argued.

One was to try to raise them up the tone scale through Hubbard’s Dianetics processing, he wrote. “The other is to dispose of them quietly and without sorrow.”

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 03, 2010, 04:28:09 PM
          Most memorable lecture by your Senior or ED?

ED went clear. A few months later ED blew. A few weeks later ED is dragged back and put back on ED post. ED stands there at morning muster lecturing us about how you cannot survive *out there*, how insane it is etc etc etc. It was one of the first most glaring *outpointy* things where I trusted myself and not the bullshit I was being told.

Clear is supposed to make you *more* able to handle things *out there*.
This guy had managed to survive*out there* before he went clear but now clear, was adamant that he could not survive out there now, and adamant that none of us could either.
Clear is supposed to raise intelligence. Did he not notice that the rest of the population of planet earth *was surviving *out there*? Either lack of simple intelligence or lack of perception.
The other execs also came way down in my estimation for sticking this person back on as ED when he was obviously very overwhelmed and felt unable to deal with life.

I have never forgotten that little speech from the recoverd-blown-clear-ED!

The time the DED sat me down, to show me how the stats for the HGC had improved since I had been on my internship, and how the statistics of the org depended on me.

I almost lost it. She was telling me how valuable I was and how wonderful my stats were, when I had been treated like ethics scum by her for months? Plus it really drove home the fact that getting me trained and through the internship was not a priority. Stats were.

I blew soon after.

Hubbard's understanding of evolution seemed to be based off of the ignorant nonsense straw-man arguments that your creationist crowd likes to play with. So naturally he said a lot of things about evolution that were complete horse-shit. Just as naturally the true-believers in the cult ate it up and believed every word.

The Ed of the Phoenix org was a woman named Patty. She was a true believer. If the clams hadn't gotten her it would have been some other cult. She was just one of those people. So one day I get off course where I'd listened to this tape from Hubbard where he spews all this half-baked ignorant nonsense about evolution and how it says humans evolved from monkeys and other such crap. I get off course and I'm talking to one of the other staff members about it and saying how Hubbard didn't know what he was talking about. Patty overheard and starts throwing a fit. I don't remember exactly what words she was using because most of it was pretty incoherent, but it was clear that I was NOT supposed to question the tape because "That's what Ron says!"

The good news is she didn't have any kids.

I was on staff at FCDC in 1957 for a few months and the "ED" was the Hubbard entity itself. Every Thursday evening we would have a "staff meeting" where the entity would spew forth.

I remember him commenting one time about "why" they turned the cult into a religion...and this is a fairly accurate quote: "We polled the field about this and when the right squirrels said no, don't do it, we know it was the right thing to do."

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 07, 2010, 09:04:38 AM

  Interviews with ex scientologists

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 08, 2010, 09:18:10 AM
                        Has anybody seen my kids?

I have not seen or heard them since I was g rodded early 2001. The last I knew they were in California in the orbit of the mother Sue Lane or Harrison of Sunnyvale. Mason Lane was a car mechanic, 31 yo, propably married to a red-head scio, may have moved to a town near the Base. Melanie,26 yo, has blond hair blue eyes. Meryl 24, dirty blond, blue eyes.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 08, 2010, 11:14:02 AM
      The second group of first clears.

Hubbard states on "The story of Dianetics and Scientology" that he`d rented
on office in Hollywood in the late 40`s, wrapped a towel around his head
(Presumably a beach towel) and became a swami.

The people he attended were the first clears. He says so in the lecture.

In "Dianetics the modern "science" of mental health" he speaks of 200
test cases who all achieved the state of clear.

None of the above have ever been named or come forward.

Then we have his public embarrassment in the Shrine auditorium where he
paraded the next first clear. Can`t think of her name.

It`s clear she didn`t pursue Scientology.

Then we have the second lot of first "Clears"
  What became of them ??

Here they are...  Note number 78.

It should be noted that some commentators including Arnie Lerma have
considered anyone declared or out of COS as no longer scientologists.
This is obviously not so.

Here is a list from WWP I've put the first ten at the top then
my comments and then the rest of the list.

This has more detail but is also full of innacuracies.

"Clear No. 1 John McMaster, Saint Hill Staff - Deceased (John Mc Master a été le premier "Pape" de la secte, nommé par Hubbard puis aussitôt récusé par Dieu-Hubbard; mort alcoolique il y a quelques années à Lodnres, vers 66 ans je crois, ayant quitté la sciento depuis des décennies).
2 John Imburgia, Buffalo, NY - In Texas - Declared SP
3 Pam Pearcy, Saint Hill Staff - With Ralph - Out of Scio
4 Pat Scrufari, Niagara Falls, NY - Declared SP -This appears to be incorrect. Pat Scurfari has a Scio web page and is still in Scio. (il semble que la personne ait probablement été d'abord "déclarée SP, puis ait été réintégrée; il eput aussi s'agir d'une anomalie comme on en rencontre dans la secte).

5 Terry Milner, Los Angeles Staff - Deceased
6 Anne Greig, Saint Hill Staff - Deceased
7 Reg Sharpe, Saint Hill Staff - Deceased
8 Alan Walter, Dallas, TX - Declared SP
9 Philip Quirino, Saint Hill Staff - In Scio
10 Leon Steinberg, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP"

Data below, or lack of it, from Mr Google, except where I've
indicated personal knowledge.

John Imburgia will be a speaker at next week's US Freezone conference.

Pam Pearcy does work for Ivy Magazine a freezone publication, and I recently connected her up to an old friend from St. Hill days.

Pat Scrufari on a google has posted a letter to a newspaper defending scn in 2005, and from above seems to have a current scn website.

Can't find out if Terry Milner was still a scientologist or. He was a former Deputy Guardian of the US, and wrote a book about the death of Pat
Price [ remote viewer] and was there at his death.

Can't find any indication if Anne Grieg remained a scientologist or

Same with Reg Sharpe. I've just aquired a book he wrote called
" This is life" an introduction to scientology, published by HCO St Hill.
He also authored a book on the E meter.

Alan Walter founded Knowledgism, and has many posts in archives here.

Phillip Quirino per the above is on staff, and he also has an scn
webpage with a photo of himself with LRH.

Leon Steinberg has been recomended to me as a rewiew auditor.

11 John McCoy, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP....maybe reinstated...not active. This appears to be incorrect. John McCoy has a
Scio web page and is still in Scio. (voir note 4)

12 Ray Thacker, Saint Hill Staff - Deceased
13 Otis Halliday, Houston, TX - Deceased
14 Ralph Pearcy, Saint Hill Staff - With Angelique - Out of
15 Jennifer Edmonds, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP

16 George Galpin, Saint Hill Staff - Deceased. This is incorrect. George Galpin has a Scio web page and is still in Scio.

17 J.J. Delance, Saint Hill Staff - I believe Deceased Incontestablement mort, un de mes amis et mon premier auditeur quand j'étais scientologue. Mort à 66 ans d'une embolie, depuis longtemps parti de la secte, et passé à la dissidence, J.J. Delance avait été le patron fondateur de Paris Org, et secrétaire des qualifications pour le,Monde Entuier, Classe VII, OT 7 NOTs. Anecdote; JJ Delance a passé 16 mois entiers à "auditer des thétans de corps" sur lui même, et à en "faire partir", m'a-t'il confié, des centaines par seconde: il en aurait donc audité des dizaines de millions à lui seul.)
18 Bernie Green, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP - Deceased
19 Jim Crawley, England - Unkown
20 Tony Dunleavy, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP

21 Gareth McCoy, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP....maybe reinstated...not active. This appears to be incorrect. Gareth McCoy has a Scio web page and is still in Scio.(voir note 4)

22 Joan Thomas, Saint Hill Staff - Not active...maybe
23 Julia Galpin, Saint Hill Staff - Unkown
24 Dalene Regenas, Saint Hill Staff - Unknown
25 Otto Roos, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP
26 Felice Green, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP
27 Walter Stille, Hamburg, Germany ??
28 John Lawrence, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP
29 Connie Broadbent, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP-
30 Craig Lipsitz, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP?
31 Marilynn Routsong, Saint Hill Staff - Deceased
32 Fred Hare, Saint Hill Staff - In LA...still a Scio
33 Ellen Carder ??
34 Peggy Bankston, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP
35 Brian Livingston, Saint Hill Interne - Declared SP
36 Joan de Veulle, London Staff - Deceased?
37 Haskell Cooke, Saint Hill Staff - Was at Gold
38 Chris Weideman, Johannesburg Staff
39 Virginia Downsborough, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP...Is Avatar Practitioner (pratique la secte concurrente Avatarn, formée par harry Palmer, ex-scientologue)
40 Joe Van Staden, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP
41 Sheena Fairchild, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP
42 Myra Elliott, Hawaii Staff - Deceased?
43 Yvonne Gillham, Saint Hill Staff -Deceased - Yvonne Gilham était l'épouse de Heber Jentzsch, devenu "président" de l'église internationale de scientologie, alors qu'il est en réalité 4 échelons en-dessous du vrai chef de la secte. Yvonne est morte d'un cancer non soigné.
44 Pete Peterman, Hawaii, U.S.A. ??

45 Scott Leland, Interning for Washington, D.C. - DeclaredSP. An update: Has since Deceased.

46 Helen Hancock, New Jersey, U.S.A. - Deceased?
47 Helen Pollen, Saint Hill Interne - Deceased? - Declared SP
48 John Elliott, Hawaii Staff

49 Fred Fairchild, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP. This appears to be incorrect. Fred Fairchild has a Scio web page and is still in Scio.

50 Dorothy Knight, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP
51 David Gaiman, Portsmouth, U.K. Still in Scio (Gaiman est un ponte dans la secte)

52 Peter Goodwin, Portsmouth, U.K. Declared SP. Was named as one of those on the infamous R2-45ed Ethics Order.(cet individu a été condamné à mort par Hubbard en personne, ndt, voir ici)

53 Anton James, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP
54 Jenny Parkhouse, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP
55 Herbie Parkhouse, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP (ce couple était très haut placé et proche d'Hubbard... cela n'a pas empèché qu'ils soient exjectés)
56 Judy Gray, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP
57 Cal Wigney, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP
58 Mary Long, Saint Hill Staff - Deceased
59 Chester Halliday, Houston, TX ??
60 Hana Eltringham, Los Angeles Staff - Declared SP (il pourraits 'agir, mais je n'en suis pas sûr, de la "Barbara Kaye" page 140 du Gourou Démasqué)
61 Bill Robertson, Saint Hill Interne - Declared SP...Deceased
62 Linda Nussbaum, Saint Hill Interne - Declared SP
63 Peter Imburgia, Buffalo NY - Declared SP
64 Marie (Aberegg) Oakes, Los Angeles Staff - Deceased?
65 Mildred Mathews, Sydney Staff - Deceased
66 Marguerite Wirick, San Diego Staff - Out of Scio
67 Joan Davis, Saint Hill Staff
68 Beth Fordyce, Detroit Staff - Declared SP
69 Ron Pook, Saint Hill Interne - Still in Scio
70 Wal Wilkinson, Adelaide Staff - Deceased
71 Allan Ferguson, Detroit Staff - Declared SP
72 Hank Laarhuis, Saint Hill Staff - faisait partie des inculpés au premier procès anti-scientologie en France: a pris trois ans avec sursis en tant que Président de scientologie paris, puis a été relaxé en appel; est reparti comme staff dans les sevrices secrets. Dangereusement illégal. Au même procès, Hubbard prenait quatre ans ferme.
73 Robin Lindsell, Saint Hill Staff - Declared SP
74 Claire Louwrens, Cape Town Staff
75 Penny Khaled, East Grinstead In SA...Still in Scio? (voir plus bas le n° 91)
76 Helen Whitney, Saint Hill Staff Deceased
77 Vern Gale, Interning for Washington, D.C. - Deceased
78 Wally Collis, Aukland, New Zealand??  Deceased
79 Joy Walter, Dallas, TX - Out of Scio
80 Margaret Gormley, Johannesburg, South Africa??
81 David Ziff, Saint Hill Staff - Still in Scio
82 Dick Moor, London Staff - Declared SP
83 Leila Flanagan, Houston, TX - Declared SP
84 Pat Flanagan, Houston, TX - Declared SP
85 Betty Halliday, Houston, TX - In Scio
86 Ray Kemp, Tustin, CA - Declared SP - Deceased
87 Val Wigney, Saint Hill Interne - Declared SP
88 Tom Koon, California, U.S.A. - Out
89 Douglas Shrewsbury, Seattle, WA ??
90 Helen Kitchin, San Diego, CA - Deceased?
91 Peter Khaled, Saint Hill Staff
92 Ellen Arnold, London Staff - Declared SP
93 Jim Watson, Hawaii, U.S.A. - Declared SP
94 Mark Jones, London Staff - Declared SP
95 Douglas Hancock, New Jersey, U.S.A. ??
96 Mary Edwards, Saint Hill Staff
97 Norma Maier, Hawaii, U.S.A. - Deceased
98 Linda Munk, Toronto, Canada - Out
99 Bert Rossouw, Saint Hill Staff
100 Dave Hunter, Saint Hill Staff
101 Dan Rutenberg, London Staff
102 Phoebe Mauerer, Saint Hill Staff - Deceased
103 Joy Ollemans, Port Elizabeth Staff - Deceased?
104 Ron Reynolds, Saint Hill Staff
105 Edith Hoyseth, Saint Hill Interne - Declared SP
106 Phyl Stevens, Auckland Staff - Runs AUST AO/ASHO
107 Roger Biddell, Saint Hill Interne - Declared SP
108 Julia Salmen, Los Angeles Staff - Deceased
109 Ken Salmen, Los Angeles Staff - Deceased
110 Pamela Kemp, Tustin, CA - Declared SP
111 Burt Griswold, Hawaii Staff
112 Page Thomas, New York Staff
113 Joan Bristow, Durban Staff - Deceased?
114 Bob Thomas, New York Staff - Declared SP
115 Deon Satterfield, Copenhagen, Denmark - Out of Scio
116 Gertrude Brown, Washiongton, D.C. ??
117 Jane Kember, Saint Hill Staff - Selling Jewelry...Still in Scio. Jane Kember était le troisième personnage de la secte jusqu'à son extradition pour divers crimes, elle a pris cinq ans, et le procès a été l'une des causes de fuite d'Hubbard qui s'est ensuite caché pour guider la scientologie par un système abracadabrant de cassettes transportées par des émissaires!) Elle n'a jamais été vraiment réintégrée, la nouvelle direction ne lui pardfonnant pas de s'être fait piéger en justice, alors que c'est Hubbard en personne qui donnait les ordres via sa femme et via Jane Kember."
118 Lucy Meilczarek, Saint Hill Staff - Deceased
119 Nicky Mendoza, London Staff -Deceased
120 Ken Rains, Hawaii Staff -Out
121 Mario Feninger, Paris Staff - Still in... (Je ne crois pas, contrairement à ce que dit l'autre particpant, que Feninger soit toujours en scientologie. Lui et JJ Delance (n° 17) s'entendaient très mal semble-t'il.
122 Kevin Kember, Saint Hill Interne - Still in (fils de Jane Kember, si mes souvenirs sont exacts)
123 Liz Sabine, Melbourne, Australia - Out
124 Anne Bergin, Durban Staff
125 Elsie Griffiths, Vancouver, Canada - Deceased
126 Frayne Badger, California, U.S.A. - Deceased?
127 Frank Freedman, Saint Hill Foundation Staff - Declared SP

128 Eunice Ford, New York Staff - Deceased
129 Donna Reeve, Washington, D.C. Staff - Still in...
130 June Kay, Durban Staff - Deceased?
131 Pierre Ollemans, Port Elizabeth Staff - Deceased

Feel free to post any updates or corrections.

Draw your own conclusions then read "longevity" by Hubtard

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 10, 2010, 08:48:39 AM
I am posting this amzing story of a new person finding the internet, he was born into a Scientology home and his story is VERY worthwhile.

Heres what I've got so far, I'm finding it hard to write this because there's just so much I could put into it that I keep having to edit stuff out, but I'm stopping at 16 when I did the student hat. I wanted to spend more time talking about my experiences in public school but it was just getting too long. I think I'll talk about my experiences with the free zone stuff in my next section, and then my experiences with leaving the church afterwards. I think we've already talked about most of this, but let me know what you think


I was born to scientology parents in the sea org. I don't remember much of my childhood, it's all black to me, but I know my parents got divorced when I was young. My mom tells me a story that my dad tried to strangle her on the bed and I jumped on top of him and started screaming "stop hurting my mommy!!!" and banging on him with my fists. She told me I saved her life and got him to stop. She told me I picked this family for a reason. I don't remember any of this, but thinking of my childhood evokes strong emotions and causes my body to shake. I've always had a poor memory of my past, probably because I choose not to remember. I'm going to try and to piece together what I can remember here though. It's going to be hard for me, my body is shaking and I am crying and I haven't even really thought of much yet. Even after all this time the emotions are still fresh and raw.

I was a scientologist since I was very young until I was 24 years old. I say very young because I don't remember the exact age, but I know that by 6 years old I had some child like understanding of scientology from listening to my parents talk and absorbing their emotions and gestures. Scientology was important. I took my first course around 6-7 years old, the communications course. I got stuck on the TR's section of that course. I was a hyper child - my grandpa was fond of telling me to "take a lap" to burn off all my energy. I just could not sit still. I'd itch or fidget or eventually start to fall asleep or yawn. I remember distinctly my butt feeling like it was on fire on that hard wooden chair and wanting to move it so badly. I tried very hard though because I knew it was very important somehow. Everyone was very serious. I flunked and flunked and flunked. I had to stay there for hours. We came back multiple days and when they finally let me pass I knew I hadn't achieved the stated goal. "Be there comfortably". I was dying to get out of there! I didn't trust scientology at that point, but I was't sure if I should say anything.

The next action I had was clearing some words on the emeter with an auditor. I thought the emeter was supposed to read your thoughts and was like a lie detector, so I thought I'd test it. I knew that the auditor couldn't audit me if I was hungry, so I told him I was hungry and he took me to eat. I got a free burger out of it, and the e-meter never found the lie, so at this point I really didn't believe in scientology. Later that night I told my mom I didn't want to be a Scientologist. She looked at me like I had stabbed her in the heart and stared coldly at me for a bit, then turned and walked away. I immediately knew that somehow I had done something incredibly wrong. I was very afraid. I waited a bit then walked downstairs and skulked into the doorway of my moms room where my family was consoling my mother who was crying. I've only seen her cry once in my life. My step-dad and 4 sisters turned to me and looked at me like I was the scum of the earth. My step-dad firmly said "get out of here!". I was horrified and felt very bad for hurting her. I had made my mom cry. My whole family seemed to hate me now. Later that night my mom came to my room and I desperately pleaded with her that I really did want to be a scientologist, and I was very sorry. She comforted me one of the few times I remember and we made up. I think this formed part of my belief and trust in scientology that it must be good.

Growing up in a scientology family you are treated like an adult. I did not get much affection from my mom, in fact it got to where I did not like to be touched by her. It made me uncomfortable. She would be gone for months at a time and I did not know why, and my step dad barely spoke to me. I was scared of him. I was in ethics conditions often especially when I was a child. I was very curious and active and I always got myself in trouble. Being put into treason was a horrible experience and one I desperately tried to avoid after the first time. I decided to karate kick a tree branch which broke at our apartments and the manager threatened to kick us out if I did it again. My family said I was an enemy. My sisters were told not to talk to me. I had no priveleges, no television etc. I had to eat last. I had to do chores and amends projects. I had to write a written apology asking for forgiveness and get it signed by all of my sisters and my parents. It was an aweful experience and very degrading. Being put in the other conditions was no fun either, and I got good at lying to avoid it.

Like I said I was in trouble often, and I began to get the feeling my parents loved my sisters more than me, or that something was wrong with me. I absolutely hated this idea and it would enrage me and cause me to act out. Deep down I was desperate to be loved and accepted. I'd have shouting matches with my mom all the time, sometimes with her kicking me out. I have one memory after such an incident of me going to the playground next to our house and bawling for hours at maybe 7 or 8. I don't remember what was going through my head but I know I came back and apologized eventually. I was repeatedly told I was evil and selfish during our fights, our arguments would last for hours, and inevitably I would cave in and apologize. This happened very often. The pain of believing on a deep level that I was evil and wrong and tainted was agonizing. It began to become a part of my identity on a very deep level. I started to like the color black, I wanted my room painted black. I would get very uncomfortable if I was being "too good" and I would self sabotage myself.

During this time I was also in public school, which looking back I was very lucky for because it gave me a connection to the normal world. I was very shy and I did not get along with other kids well. I had no friends at school until the 7th grade where I had one friend named Nathan. School was always a terrifying experience for me, and I was bullied and picked on often. This further reinforced my idea that something was wrong with me and I was evil. I communicated none of this to my parents or teachers or anyone. The few friends I did have growing up as a child probably did a lot for me staying normal though. I do remember one teacher being smart enough to see something was wrong and following me home then sending a social worker to my house, but nothing came of it.

I began to be afraid and nervous on a regular basis. Always afraid or anxious about something, always thinking about something. Sometimes terrified and frozen with fear. I did not feel comfortable around people. I started to have insomnia. I started to get headaches. I would search my mind for the reason I was receiving this pain. I began to fear my mind. My parents repeatedly told me about their wins in scientology and the power of the mind and postulates and intentions. I believed them completely and beleived I was causing all my pain in my mind. If I had a thought of me hurting myself I would be terrified. I would envision making a mistake and then be terrified I really would and sure enough I did.

When I was 12 and going through puberty my chest started to warp with the right side sticking out more. My nose also became deviated. I was convinced my evil spirit had twisted my body. I believed I must have been incredibly evil in past lives to deserve this and this was my punishment. I felt horribly ugly and disgusting. I hated the feeling I got looking at myself in the mirror. I would pound on my chest until it was beet red to try and get it to go straight. I tried to avoid my picture being taken. I felt isolated and alone all the time. I missed 45 out of 60 days one semester in 7th grade. 8th grade was my last day in public school, as my parents moved to an isolated mountain town with only 1000 people and started home schooling me and my sisters. By 14 my migraines started to become more chronic and I started to get them whenever I would read. Study tech says it could be lack of mass, but I was sure it was because I was evil. I was desperate to believe scientology could fix all my problems and cure me of my evil.

When I was 16 I went with my sister, my mom, and my biological father to flag to do the student hat while they did their 6 month sec checks. Initially I was excited, but after a while just the thought of walking into that course room would give me a horrible migraine. We were supposed to ask permission to leave but I would sneak out to the bathroom to splash water and my face and pull myself together. Everyone seemed like emotionless robots studying quietly and peacefully while I was in horrible pain and anxiety. I was good at hiding it though, and somehow managed to trick the e-meter into floating. One time it didn't though and I had to spend a week on ethics lines figuring out what was wrong. It was incredibly stressful, I thought I would be stuck there forever and I was horrified. I woke up one night out of nowhere laughing hysterically and puking at the same time. They called it "line charging". I somehow got my needle to float again though and finished that course. When I gave my acceptance speech I was so relieved to be leaving my entire body was shaking and I literally could not talk. I stuttered and stammered my way through the speech and got out of there.


Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 16, 2010, 11:44:20 AM
           Meet an ex Scientologist.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 26, 2010, 08:14:25 PM

Melissa Miller's Scientology Story

I was about 13 years old when my parents’ marriage seemed to be falling apart. A friend talked with them about Scientology. One day, one of my parents left home, then returned after being away for weeks. Then almost immediately after that parent’s return, the other parent left and did not return until months later. It was a very confusing time. My siblings and I did our best to maintain a normal schedule with school, homework, chores, etc. It was also unnerving not knowing where our missing parent was or what was happening.

After the second parent reappeared back at home, we were told that said parent had supposedly found what they had been looking for all of their life. We were then told that this parent would be moving away for an indefinite amount of time. We were very confused by all of this. Our family life was radically changed forever.

Before the parent left, one of my siblings asked to go along. The request was granted. I chose to stay behind as I was doing well in school and had friends I did not want to leave behind. As it turned out, the family of mine that remained behind, and I, suffered a dysfunctional existence.

It was difficult for me, at 13 years old, to try to hold down the fort for the remaining parent. I did my best but it obviously was not enough. I would help my siblings get off to school before I left for school myself. I would help them with their homework, make dinners, pack lunches, walk to the store to buy food, clean the house, and do the laundry. I would make sure they had their baths. I had assumed the role of a parent while still being a child myself.

One day when I got home after school, my sibling who had left with the absent parent was at home. The remaining parent told me that we were going to leave with that sibling the next day to go live with the absent parent (without the parent who had remained at home). I was devastated. I did not want to leave my school or friends.

The move was horrible; by this time the absent parent, whom I will now refer to as SciParent (my version of an SP), was deeply involved with Scientology. My siblings and I were taken to a house in the downtown area of a fair sized city. This house was owned by a Scientologist and was more or less sectioned off into one apartment, a bunch of rooms for boarders, a bathroom, and a kitchen.

SciParent rented the apartment but we kids had to live in one of the other rooms. We were to share the communal kitchen (which really used to be a bedroom) and the communal bathroom. This house had probably about eight other Scientologists (besides my family) living there. They were all adults with the exception of me and my siblings, and all but one were male. I must also mention that my SciParent rarely slept at the house, choosing to sleep at the homes of Scientologists of the opposite gender.

My SciParent was ALWAYS at the org, either on course or receiving auditing. We children were abandoned and left to fend for ourselves. We were not in school. We did not have food in the house. We had to find ways to earn some money so we could have some food and pay our rent. The ones of us who were old enough would babysit. After a while, one of my siblings got a full time job at the org, a good position, too – especially for someone under the age of 18.

It was very strange; this sibling was in a trusted position. I would babysit all day, for Scientologists of course. At dinnertime, I would walk across town to the org and go to work there until I was told I could go home. Some nights this was not until well after midnight. Weekends would put me at the org, too. I did everything from going out on the streets to hand out free personality test coupons to answering the org’s phones. I was required to write letters to people who had shown even a smidgeon of interest in Scientology. I had my stats to keep up, too. I think the most I got for a week’s work (nights and weekends) was around $5.00.

There were many times when I so wanted to see and speak with my SciParent. I would ask to do so at the org and I was ALWAYS refused. My parent could not be disturbed for any reason. It was horrible. I had no parental influence, love and guidance.

One evening I wanted to go see a movie. I saw my parent coming into the org. I asked to be taken to the movie (I was still about 13 years old). My parent saw a man standing nearby, pointed at him and told me to ask him to take me. The man heard the exchange between my parent and me. He offered to take me to the movie and of course, I had to pay for my ticket. After that, he would not leave me alone. He followed me home. I would come home from the org some nights and he would be sitting in my room. He pretty much stalked me. Then one night when my siblings and parent were not at the house, he raped me.

I was still a virgin at the time and did not know what was happening. All I know is that it hurt and I cried. When he was done, he slapped me and called me a whore. Being the weirdo he was, he then told me he loved me and wanted to marry me. He was somewhere around 23 years old.

The next evening, while I was working at the org, a man who I often worked with could tell that something was wrong. I told him what had happened. I knew that I could do nothing about it, as the policy of Scientology is to handle things internally. Even though I was not a full fledged, course taking Scientologist, my parent was. I could not go to the police. If I were to do anything, it would be to report it to the Ethics Officer, who would then handle things.

I must add that by this time I had read a great number of the books and learned the churches policies. Still, I was a child. I was scared and ashamed. I felt that it was my fault as the “church” claims that bad things happen because a person has done something to “pull it in”. Back to my trusted friend: He instructed me to have the rapist at my house the next night, which was not an issue because I could not get him to leave the house.

The next night came. I was at the house with my rapist and two others. I cannot recall who they were. There was a knock at the door. It was my trusted confidant from the org and he had about three or four other men with him. They came in and asked my rapist to step outside where they could talk. He did not want to go but after a few words were exchanged, he left. I never saw him again.

During my time working at the org, my siblings and I were being hounded to join the Sea Org. I was 14 years old by this time. I remember holding the Sea Org contract in my hands and thinking it was ludicrous to even propose a billion year contract, especially to a minor. I remember signing it while wondering, “What the heck am I doing?”

My siblings and I had eventually had enough of the neglect and forced labor. We saved up enough money for bus tickets and skipped out on the rent and went back home. Our lives there were not a whole lot better but we were back in school and around friends; and we did not have to pay our own rent.

Shortly after our return home, one parent filed divorced. For some reason, the SciParent decided to move back just after the filing. Shortly after the divorce was final and the assets divided, SciParent decided to move to another city to pursue Scientology in a different org.

This was another catastrophe. Again, we were put in a house with a bunch of adult Scientologists. Again, SciParent was absent most of the time. I again babysat for Scientologists during the day. I did not go work at the org. I felt I deserved more money for my time than the previous org had given me and I was not going to get into doing that again. Although I would hang out at the org, so I had someone to talk with and maybe could see my SciParent occasionally. I was uncomfortable being at the house without my SciParent, too.

One evening, I fell asleep on the couch in the communal living room of our house. In the middle of the night, one of our housemates raped me. There was an 18 or more year difference in our ages and I was still underage. I once again said nothing. I knew my SciParent would do nothing being that they were both Scientologists. The most that would happen is an Ethics Officer’s intervention and I would have to get auditing, which I did not want under any circumstances.

I then realized I was pregnant. I was devastated. I had been looking forward to being a mother some day but there was no way in hell I was going to have the child of a Scientologist rapist. The most difficult thing I have ever done was abort that pregnancy.

A few years after, I was being badgered by my SciParent and other Scientologists to “get on course” and join the Sea Org, reading the books wasn’t enough to appease them anymore So to get them off my back, I signed up for I believe it was the Communications Course. I think it was the second night of classes, when I just got up and walked out of the course room. Naturally, the Course Super followed me out. He kept telling me that I had a “misunderstood”. I told him that I understood completely well what I had been reading and it was a bunch of bullshit. He claimed that the only reason I would not agree to what I was reading was due to a “misunderstood”.

We argued briefly. I finally told him that the issue was his, as his MU (misunderstood) was clearly the fact that he could not recognize bullshit when he saw it. I honestly feel that I had just reached my fill with Scientologists and Scientology. I had seen enough of what it was REALLY doing to people. I was sitting on the sidelines being neglected and raped. There were long stretches of time when all I had to eat was peanut butter (no bread), or pancake mix, which I would have to mix with water only. I had to wash out our clothes with a bar of body soap in the bathtub. No one cared because all that mattered was “the greatest good for the greatest number” which was the success of Scientology.

I have extended family deeply embedded in the bowels of Scientology. I put up with my SciParent and their Scientology throughout the years. To this day, that parent is a believer. They may not be a full-fledged member, but a believer and an OT. All the money this parent made went to Scientology. We ate crap for food and could not go to school because we had to earn money for rent but there was a few thousand in my parent’s account at the org.

I learned about Scientology through careful observation with an intelligence they could not control or squash while under the duress of neglect, the deprival of an education, rape, and emotional abuse. I saw what they did and see what they are doing; I lived it. Nothing in their books can overshadow or have me forgive what I lived through. The written words mean nothing. The treatment I received means everything.

Decades later, I am still subjected to my family’s Scientology belief system. When moving to the Denver, Colorado area, I had hoped to be free of any direct influence from non-relatives who are Scientologists. Then I learned of the org in Englewood and the missions in Aurora and Boulder. I learned of Scientology trying to squash other’s first amendment rights along with all of their other injustices, thus I am moved to action. I am supportive of the Anonymous movement.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 04, 2010, 04:19:19 PM


1) Any fraud or deception used to get money from members using their credit cards, or loans from lending institutions or their families?

YES I know plenty. .....

Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 20, 2010, 11:26:49 AM
Monday, 24 August 2009
                                   What ARE My Crimes.......?

In the 4 1/2 years of my life that I was dumb and naive, I was a Scientologist. Whilst in the biggest, most sinister, dangerous brainwashing cult since cults began, I learnt that we all have hidden crimes, some more than others, and that people who would argue against Scientology and who don't make gains in their lives is due to this insane fallacy of hidden crimes.

Recently, I have watched quite a few videos on YouTube of Anonymous protesting against the cult of Scientology and what disturbed me at the beginning, yet now makes me laugh, is the kind of script which Scilons use when they are trying most desperately to get the upper hand on people approaching them and asking questions. The pattern seems to be:

1) Try feeble attempt at TR0, TR0 bullbait and TR3, to no avail. The reason it isn't working is that they actually have to do it for real and they aren't ready for it, because it's all bullshit.

2) Say things such as, "What are you crimes?", "what have you done wrong?", "do you still beat your wife?", etc. This has to be the funniest thing I've seen in the videos thus far. It's like being back in the playground at school. Once again, failed tech, it doesn't work.

3) Accusations, such as, "You're a Pedo", "You're all Pedo's and Faggots". Again, failed tech, misapplied tech. PTS/SP Course, Antisocial Personality Traits, No. 1 - "Person speaks in broad generalities". The people in the videos do that a lot.

I am looking forward to the day that I come into contact with one of these guys and I would love to get it on film, as I will be the victor in the conversation and the Scientologist will be the weeping, wallowing piece of crap on the floor.

If I had to answer the first question regarding my crimes and the bad things I have done, this is what I would include:

What are my crimes....?

I have committed crimes against the Data Protection Act, Freedom of Information Act, The Right to Privacy, Brainwashing, Knowingly and Willingly applying for an R1 (religious worker) Visa Fraudulently, Obtaining Monies by Deception, Deception in General, Fraud and Invasion of Privacy which will have contravened said acts.

I have been ordered and forced to do the following:

Phone members of the raw public and Scientology public at whatever time of day or night to hard sell them pieces of crap that will no doubt end up cleaning out their bank account.

Do surveys in the street that are supposed to be for one thing, yet are for the sole purpose of information gathering - peoples personal information at whatever cost.

Do stress tests, try to find a persons ruin by telling them that they and their lives basically suck and that all is going to be fine and wonderful as long as they read Dianetics and then getting ripped off with Scientology.

Audit people using Dianetics and Scientology methods, turning their minds into worthless pieces of mush and literally tearing out their souls.

Fraudulently obtaining a Religious Workers Visa (R1) from the US Embassy, London. Participating in a mock interview in the org I was at and being told not to say the words, "training", "studying", or, "working". Lying my through the process of getting a Visa. Which I did end up getting.

The list is endless.

Where and when did I commit these crimes?.....while I was in Scientology, as a Scientologist, on instruction from other Scientologists, who were also committing these crimes. The loop goes on.

Scientology is one big crime ring. It's a shame that the general dogs bodies, known as Class V staff and the lower parts of the Sea Org, are constantly forced and coerced into all this crap.

Since leaving Sceintology in February 2009, I have been able to enjoy my crime-free life once again. Yes!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 26, 2010, 07:35:32 PM
                My story from inside Scientology

Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 29, 2010, 07:35:35 PM
                                    Steve Hall's Story

                                  With photos...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 04, 2010, 09:14:52 AM
         Newbe - reconnected with family after 31 yrs

Hi! I have been lurking full time on the internet and particurlarly on this board since June this year, left scn last year. I would like to thank Emma for creating this board and for all those who have told their stories here. Some of the posters that comes to mind are Foti, Vinair, Feral, Mystic (!) and Schwimmelpuckel (you make me laugh the most and when I really neaded it - I love your humour). You all mean a lot to me. You have helped me in my on-going healing process out of the contradictory lies/truth/fantasy sci-fi mind trap.

I post in celebration of having finally met and reconnecting with my beloved father today who I was disconnected from since 1979 and we went to my mother's grave today. She was instrumental in founding an anti-cult association in the 80's. My story is weird right from the beginning but after reading those written here, I know I am not alone - thank you sharing them.

Carte Blanche

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 04, 2010, 09:31:57 AM
                 Publicly Leaving the Church of Scientology (The Real Story)

This is the story of Jim Little, Meshell Little (Powers), Heather Powers and grandmother, Edie Fields of St. Louis, Missouri.   This is the real story of how we went from being 22-year veteran scientologists to quietly resigning from the structure known as the Church of Scientology on June 29, 2010.  This action quickly culminated with the St. Louis Org declaring us SP’s on October 21, 2010.  This declare, as I will go over, consisted of generalities, complete lies, assumptions stated as facts, situations twisted up neatly to appear as one, dropped out time (fully handled 13 years ago) all mixed with one percent truth – and completely written with the intention of discrediting to make us look evil.  This is the thanks we got for all our years of supporting this organization.  That’s not all though. They got my son!........
.........follow the link.  Photos included.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 04, 2010, 09:36:12 AM

         16 Victims of the Church of Scientology

For the past 56 years the Church of Scientology has blazed a path of headlines and mystery across the globe. Once existing only as the idea held by a single man, the Church has grown into a multinational, highly organized institution in record time. There is little doubt that trends in the 60's and 70's of both counter-culture and new-age thought contributed to the break-neck speed of the Church's growth, allowing its numbers to swell worldwide to figures that cannot be accurately counted, but are said to number in the millions.

Despite the great successes the CoS has enjoyed over the last half-century, the ubiquitous Church has been embroiled in scandal since its inception. At the heart of every matter of contention lies the bottom dollar. Though self-described as a religious ministry, the CoS tries to operate more like a not-for-profit international charity, and has repeatedly been accused of actually being a for-profit business. Criminal activities, both proven and alleged, span the entire length of the Church's short lifespan. Here we take a look at 16 victims of the most egregious offenses allegedly committed by the Church of Scientology to date.

More here...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 09, 2010, 06:47:22 AM
                Scooter story

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 10, 2010, 09:54:55 AM
                      My story from inside Scientology/Sea Org

Part one 

It was in the middle of the week when my brother, Harald, came home from work, around 8pm at night, and asked my mother, father and grandma if they wanted to find out about something exciting. My father was sceptical, but eventually they all sat down in the sitting room, and he opened the Dianetics book. I did not understand much he talked about really, and I did not pay much attention either, but when he talked about the theta-mind-body idea, I was all ears.

I thought to myself “wow, this is absolutely amazing, I am not just a body, I am a spirit and I can advance as a spirit, and there is an organization that one can work with/in that makes people go free!” So I decided to join my brother next time he goes there, just to find out what exactly this is all about. He then actually took me with him and I ended up in a smallish kind of office/centre, the Celebrity Centre Hamburg, where people are very friendly and helpful. There seems to be lots going on and there is a buzz about this place, so I am getting interested. I get immediately involved into stuffing promotional pieces into envelopes while I wait to speak to someone. Making a long story short, I was hooked and actually started working as a helper, being 15 years of age, to earn my first training course, the communications-course. Here I end up in the course room for the first time, and while I find it very unusual that persons are being shoved around (upper indoc TRs) I do adjust to it quickly as everyone else seems to think this is normal. Well, I would be doing it shortly myself and be made to see that this actually “works” – you can control your conversations and persons and thus what you want to talk about and where you want someone to go in a positive manner – well if you have positive intentions that is. Next I got to meet the Supervisor. John Scott Webb, who was so “uptone” and helpful, but at the same time absolutely ruthless on the application of study tech that I immediately got the KSW viewpoint from him. They really got that in on the newest persons right then and there as in this small organisation the Div 6 and 4 course rooms where in the same place. He of course was Flag trained as a supervisor.

The year is 1986 and I am just about to turn 16 years of age. After most of the Div 6 courses, that I could either earn myself or get my mother to pay for, my mother gets hooked as well and we start the purif together it is just before my birthday, in the middle of summer and we do it together. These vitamins and oils took something to get used to, but overall it was a positive experience – after all we were setting ourselves up to be ready for a possible nuclear explosion and be immune against radiation! I went onto the Student Hat from there. While on the student hat, I was being interviewed because my father did not agree with the fact that I was in this organisation and I was given the basics of PTS training, the “ups and downs of life” course. I learned about how suppressive persons hinder the progress of those who want to be free and how to handle it. It all made perfect sense, but right there I was alienated from my father and also my grandma, who also had objections. I got so well indoctrinated that I was sure that my father and gran had suppressive tendencies and that I either had to handle or disconnect from them. It was only a “good roads good weather” handling at that stage and I was allowed to go on with my training. I was still on the student hat when I was approached by one of the Network Staff – the Flag Representative (the one representing the management org) to join staff and for me that was a great honour, being 16 years of age now and nearly done with my formal basic school education, I thought this is the best I could do: join this organisation and work very hard to help “clear the planet” and set persons free and make them more able. With all the information I received from the spectacular events being held by Int Management, and all the wins always being told by the people in the course room at night, this was the way to go. Funny enough, it was after LRH had died and there was not much talking about that, it was all so future and expansion oriented. Int Management made Video briefings for the staff about the ingredients of expansion and the 339R programs going along with it to expand the org to Saint Hill Size now!

I did not hear any negative things and the only thing negative was the suppressive elements outside that wanted to prevent people from going free, including the tax office, that wanted to close down Scientology or was investigating the organisations. So I followed the advise to not watch TV or read the newspapers as this was all bad news anyways. So there I was, still going to school for a couple of month and riding on a bus for one hour after school every day to the org and to be on post part time. I made the required 40 hours by also spending my weekends there, which disconnected me from my school friends, who were not interested in Scientology.

I was now living in the well indoctrinated and isolated inside world of Scientology and everything that was against it was bad. Obviously. Right after I completed school, my father wanted me to start a formal education but I wanted none of that, I was totally on the band wagon to clear the planet. So the PTS handlings started all over again, and by now it had torn such a rift between myself, my grandma, my father and my school friends that the only way out was to disconnect – per LRH. As my mother also wanted to stay in Scientology and as there had been friction in their marriage beforehand, the divorce was inevitable and I decided to stay with my mother. So we moved away from home and lived together in an apartment, getting on with our training.

Right around that time, a mission arrived in the Org. Tiziano Fracassetti and Jean-Pierre Muley from the CLO EU. It was two men in Sea Org uniforms that were there to recruit for the Networks – the Flag Rep post and the LRH Comm post. The FR had to be Sea Org to properly represent Management, and as the current FR (Michael) was an LSD case (or so he said, which was found out later not to be the case…) he had to be replaced as he was not qualified to join the SO. I found the SO presence and dedication of this mission amazing and did not need to be interviewed. I signed up and preps were made to send me off to my Sea Org training. I was so happy. My mother found it a bit hard, but she let me go because “it was for the greatest good, for the greatest number of dynamics” and she let me make my own decisions. So off I went, but before I could leave, I had to get a signature from my father, so I could go and get a VISA for the US, as part of my training would be done there. I was drilled for several hours to handle him with “good roads, good weather” and other PTS technology and I got that signature. My father said that he did not want to have anything to do with me anymore if I go, and literally, this was a disconnection rather then a handling. But I got what I wanted (at that time) and so it went.

I arrived at the Continental Liaison Office EU in Copenhagen for my product 0 – the first of the Sea org training courses, the EPF. I had to fill out a life history and get a meter check and do all the tests – OCA, IQ, Leadership and Aptitude. Then I was ready to start. I spent some weeks, I think about 4-6 on the EPF, and just before I completed, I was told I had to do the rest of my training in Los Angeles as I was part of a Command Team that was to be send to one of the Advanced Orgs. I had worked in the FR’s office in the Class V organisation and was qualified to go and do this special training and then come back into the Advanced Org as part of a Command Team. I already had my VISA and off I went. I had never been on a plane before, so was very excited. It took over 13 hours to arrive in Los Angeles. And I had a stop over in NY, where I experienced my first antagonism directly against Scn from the outside world. I had taken the mailpack from the CLO with me and due to the change of flight had to go through customs with it. It was quite big and bulky and I was told to tell them there was letters and administrative papers inside – but surely I did not really know what was in there. I arrived at the customs, and was told “Church of Scientology? – open this!” I did not have much time to fetch my plane, but luckily one of the custom persons helped me to close the pack again after it was ripped open. I found those persons very antagonistic and thought to myself that they must be connected to the government offices that try to stop Scientology. I was so well indoctrinated at that time, and was part of the elite on the planet (or so I was told…) and there could not be any other reason but SPs and overts and withholds connected with those attacks and antagonistic approaches.

I made it to catch my plane and was supposed to be collected at the LA airport, but no one was there to collect me. I called the FCB (Flag Command Bureaux) and got told to take a taxi, so I did. I was very scared to be all alone in this city but told myself to “put my TRs in” and so I managed to arrive at the “complex” – the big blue – just about one hour later. It was late at night when I arrived, so I was just introduced to the Flag Flag Rep Yusha Turrol, and the Supergargo FCB at that time Carmen Cenador as well as her sister Vicky, and then sent to sleep to report for study in the morning.

I was put into a bunk bedroom with about 15-18 other girls, bunk beds 3 beds high, and did not see anything as it was so dark. This was not what I expected the International Management Orgs berthing to be like, but hey – I was just here for training. I was just a trainee and had a lot to learn. So I took it all in and adhered to what I was told. The next morning, and the coming 8-12 weeks I was training very hard to be sent on a Garrison Mission to the Advanced org in my Continent. 3 other persons were going with me, all sent to training at the FCB as well. There was a new Captain, Martin Pimont, an LRH Comm Tiziano Fracassetti, an FBO Jean-Yves and myself. We got our Garrison Mission Orders (which is a long term mission that gets started up with an actual SO mission going with it, and then the Garrison Mission continues with the members of it reporting every week to Management). As the FR, the one who enforces programs and orders from Management, I was made to be the Insurance Missionaire – the one that makes sure they get done and reports about the other members doing their Mission Orders.

Eventually the day came and our Mission was to fire. An Evaluation and accompanying program was made of the Advanced Organisation and everyone had their program targets to get done. We were fully briefed and sent out with a Flag Mission to start our new posts as a Garrison Mission. I learned a lot about Management operations while in training and also while being on Mission in that Advanced org. Now came the time when I had to show what I learned and get compliance to management programs and report about the internal situation of the org to management. I was their eyes and ears. My mentality at that time was to not be too much part of the local team, so I would be able to report out ethics and other situations to management and not be compromised. I was drilled to do this well while I was in training.

About 1 year after I started on that post, as FR in the advanced org, my senior the Continental FR, Brigitte Werngren, became pregnant and based on the Flag Order about Sea Org members and children, (FOs are references and issues that tell management how to operate) which was issued by the Executive Director International, she had to be “cleaned up in ethics” and sent to a lower org. I was chosen to be her replacement. I then recovered, with my senior’s help, a former Flag Rep for the Network, Stephan Schulz, that was able to re-do his EPF and take over the FR of the AO post for me. All that was done in a couple of weeks and it was now the year 1989. April to be exact. I remember that well, because I also just had attested to “past life Clear”.

Well now I was part of the Continental Liaison Office and the Network Coordination Committee. I was at that time at the same level and could issue orders to the CO of the CLO. Just after I arrived, the command channels of Scientology changed, and the CO CLO, Coline Ravachol, was at the top with no direct juniors, and the CO FOLO at that time Angelo Scozzi, and the FOLO staff were made in charge of the management of the organisations in the Continent. I was now at the same level than the CO FOLO. During those years, the LRH birthday game was the top priority, and it was going quite well for the continent in that game for years. ED International had been the Commanding officer for the Cont before the current CO CLO and there was a lot of “successful actions” and Ron’s advices for the continent to enforce. Some orgs started reaching Saint Hill size and broad marketing campaigns started, with the Marketing Exec Int, Ronnie Miscavige and Div 6 Internal Exec Int Diana hubbard, visiting the Cont. Executive Director conferences got held to keep everyone in check.

RTC was becoming prominent in orgs with the Divisional Summaries and the Power Quality Checklist HCO Policy Letters being issued. Orgs were now being directly inspected by RTC to ensure they comply with Keeping Scientology working. It was very exciting days, except that all the standard command lines of Scientology seemed to be bypassed now and the stats were crashing. Nevertheless, the Birthday game was still going reasonably well and it looked very promising until one Thursday when we called to collect the weekly stats of the orgs, and the Commanding Officer CMO International answered the phone in HBG org and told us to basically get lost. Yes, one of the orgs had been taken over by International Management as it’s Executive Director< Wiebke Hansen had blown from the International LRH Birthday event celebrations at the FSO due to false stats. This org had just gotten its RTC pass after an inspection by COB personally and was all over the International Scientology news as the ideal org. What a flap. What a situation.

The CO CLO, Coline, was ordered to come to the org to speak to the Int management terminals there, and when she came back it was seriously lower conditions and justice hanging over our heads. Something was going to change. It was never going to be the same again then. All management Data files got computerized, RTC Checklists were being executed by the LRH Comm NW and it became a very serious business indeed. KSW was the name of the game now, and if you did move just one step out of line, you ended up in ethics trouble. Well, soon enough now the New Era of Management was upon us bringing a whole new executive structure to the CLO. Everyone of them picked and trained at International Management under COBs supervision. The new Command team consisted of Wlater Kotrich as the CO CLO and his Wife Zara as the D/COI, Odile Mueller as the LRH Comm EU, Sarah Fear as the Esto NW I/C, Giorgio Rossi as the Cont FR, and some others. All the former executives were moved to lower org board posts, or send on the “vets return program” to be recycled basically. They were send to Flag Management for an ethics and sec checking program, to be then used as Missionaires and eventually be used as coins or re-assigned to suitable posts. I was kept in the CLO on Management lines and was now made the A/Pgms Aide, the person responsible for the running of all the Class V orgs and the AO. I was made to understand lots of times that I was part of the “old management team” and was an easy target “who” for investigations. I was on and off that post and on and off the decks and in and out of lower conditions for about 3 years.

What had happened now is that RTC Representatives, in CLO EU it was Antonella Tisi, were in every continent and supervising the delivery of the OT levels, and the implementation of the Golden age of Tech in every CLO and the orgs and especially the AO. It was very serious and a heavy ethics period set in. I had to report directly to the RTC Rep that was positioned directly in the AO, every Thursday on every target done on the IG NW Bulletins and programs and propose handlings for every org that was not in compliance. It was going for weeks on end that we were sitting in meetings to handle the non compliant orgs, with no breaks, and about 3-4 hours sleep at night. Stats were pushed up due to the amount of GAT programs and persons now having to do training again, and persons were getting their grades auditing again and all that, but there was no real expansion, so stats inevitably collapsed. I was busted off post and sent on the decks, without any Com-ev, and a Board of Investigation was held without me being present. I was removed from post after an investigation was done by the CMO, approved by the local RTC rep, and then a Board of investigation was held by the CMO, without interviewing me and I was found guilty. I started to wonder at that point what was going on. This was not what I had “signed up for” all the fun had gone out of this. I was then re-assigned to being the ED of DK Fdn, as the ED of that org, was needed by RTC to go for NOTS training to launch the GAT for OTs. It seemed all like a big bulldozer with only RTCs orders now being ruthlessly enforced on an or-else basis.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 10, 2010, 09:56:03 AM
                My story from inside Scientology/Sea Org

Part two

With the New Era of Management Command Team coming into the CLO, everyone was put on extensive ethics programs, with lots of clay demos and also mest work and even EDs of Class V orgs were called to the CLO to go through these programs. The CLO got a facelift with renos being done every week to make it all look good. Just before that all SO members were on all-hands to renovate the AO completely.

As the ED of a local org, I was happy to have a post again, but did not agree with the way things were going. 9/11 happened then and all the Volunteer Minister actions started as well, and it was the first time I actually got to know news that happened in the outside world. I was so disconnected before that. At one point while being the ED of the local org I was helping to recover a former Class VI auditor and get him to pay his freeloader bill and join the SO, so that he could go for NOTS auditor training for the CLO. I was still considered FOLO/CLO staff, again on Garrison Mission in that local org. The recruitment cycle had come to a point where I wanted to go visit that prospect to help him complete his ethics handling to be signed up for the SO and I wrote a CSW for 4 days to go there and do it. The CO FOLO, Fabio Bravi, agreed, and my senior the Programs Chief Lotte Drewsen approved it in writing. So off I went. I did not realize what I had missed when I enjoyed those couple of days away from the Sea Org discipline and ruthless schedules. I just felt a tiny longing for real freedom inside me at that point. I did not decide to leave, but it was lurking in me then. I did not ever have any holidays in all those years I was in the SO until then. There was just never any time. And I had been disconnected from my father and seldom had seen my mother and brother. There was no time for such family matters, the expansion of Scientology and clearing this planet was that much more important.

So I went to see this prospect, and actually stayed in his home for the 4 days. I did have letter contact with him before and he had been visiting the CLO for recruitment interviews, and when I was the ED of the local org, I got him over for a concert that we both went to and this friendship had somehow turned into more. I thought for myself that there might be a relationship in store – if he joins the SO. Other SO members had noticed that and I also told some of them. It was all in my mind. And I think in his mind too, but nothing physical had happened at all.

After those 4 days, I returned to the CLO/my local org, and one day later was called over to the CMO for ethics interviews. I was to be taken off post and put on the decks and get com-ev’d for this unauthorized leave and for starting a relationship/going out-2D with a non-so member. I could not believe it. All the LRH references available were used and twisted to make me see it. I refused to agree. I did nothing wrong. The CO FOLO was called in and he said he never approved me to go in the first place, and this is where I snapped. I decided to leave. This had turned into something nowhere close to what I though it was going to be and after over 15 years I finally had enough and smelled the coffee. This was no place anymore for me. I made my intentions known to the HCO staff, and they immediately put me under watch with a person following me and even sitting in front of my bedroom 24/7. I told them I would not blow because, at that time, I still had the intention to carry on as a public Scientologist. Now I spent 8 months on the leaving routing form, doing renovations work and working in the kitchen for weeks on end, while waiting to get through all my sec checks and other ethics programs, was told that I was full of misunderstoods and people searched my private stuff while I was not there. I was made to clay several Policy letters and was really loosing it with all this mental abuse. I just wanted to leave. Stop to be yelled at, put under “non enturbulation order” and other things, just to make me stay. I eventually made it out and will never forget the day I was sitting on the train to go to live with my brother for a couple of days before moving back in with my mother. I felt still haunted for weeks after that, thinking that I am going to be told to go back for more mental abuse.
I then had to find my way in the wog world and that was very hard. I had never had a bank account, had not watched television for years and literally had no idea what was going on in the world. I got myself a job, with no formal education and started a new life. I have never looked back since. I am a very happy person now and just too glad that I made it out. I did try to be a Scientologist and continue up the Bridge when I was out, but that lasted for only about 6 months, after being told that I had to pay tens of thousands for my freeloader bill and being harassed with phone calls to do so, and after being told that I cannot FSM without my certificated (by Fields Exec Int) and that I am basically a degraded being because I left the SO, I decided to leave for real. Something was wrong and 4 years after I left, I eventually typed the word Scientology into the Google search engine and found out what was really going on. I wanted to make former friends aware of this and got SP declared for doing so. My brother disconnected from me for that.
Well, I am so glad this is all behind me now.
That is my story in a nutshell. There is a lot more details and if any of you have any specific questions, feel free to ask me.

I want to say thanks to Emma and Mick for setting up those message boards for people to speak freely and find out what is really going on.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 13, 2010, 08:45:20 PM

This is my story.

My name is Daniel Asse

I am a prominent member of the Jewish community, and Rotary Club in Mexico.

I was in Scientology for 9 years....

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 14, 2010, 08:07:28 PM
     Where you look.... is where you go.
From Dallas Texas. The 50`s.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 14, 2010, 10:42:25 PM
The post today about "Prisoners of St. Hill" in England prompted me to write this one.

In 1977 I was a staff member of the $cientology Celebrity Centre in Hollywood. It was determined that I was a troublemaker based on really nothing - my department had higher statistics than most, and we put the central files of the organization into "present time" (meaning that all the filing was up to date on a daily basis, which had never before been done in a $cientology organization, at least in the southern California area.

So I was given a choice of going to work with the $cientology slave labor force known as the Rehabilitation Project Force, which was concentrated at the former Cedars of Lebanon Hospital, a complex which is now known as ASHO and AOLA on (ridiculous) L. Ron Hubbard Way south of Hollywood, or I would be kicked out of the so-called church and declared to be a "suppressive person." That was the standard choice given staff members picked for slave labor in those days. I didn't have any friends who were not $cientologists - which the organization very carefully arranges for as many members as possible. I had alienated my family over $cientology. I had no money. So I chose to be a slave, slightly buying into the chance that I might actually be a messed-up spiritual being in need of rehabilitation.

Curiously enough, a lot of executives like myself, who were high achievers for the organization despite receiving only room and board and a few measly dollars a week from which we had to buy our clothes and everything else, were there on the "RPF" for the same reason I was put there. And I watched a lot of them fall apart mentally and cry and emote about their errors, some of which occurred in past lives. One guy bawled at the top of his lungs at the weekly group confessional which was the RPF equivalent of "sharing wins." He was convinced he had been a Nazi tank commander in his past life and had run over people with a tank and enjoyed it.

After a day of watching this, I decided that, options or not, the place was ridiculous and this was just a cheap construction force to fix up the buildings for free, which using the ruse of making the people think they needed rehabilitation. It was one of L. Ron Hubbard's more evil and greedy moves - and I saw a lot of them during my years as a staff member. Of course, I kept denying what my eyes saw and what my logic told me, and buying into the "great spiritual truths ahead" bullshit propagated by Mankind's greatest enemy, the greedy vicious liar Lafayette Ronald Hubbard.

So I told the person in charge one day that I didn't belong on the RPF and that I wanted to leave. "Come with me," she gleefully said with a Cheshire cat smile on her face. And she lead me to the basement of the "complex" where the "RPF's RPF" was located.

Until they encountered it personally, no one knew it existed. It was an even more demeaning slave labor force who cleaned out the bowels of the old buildings. Think of coal miners or New York sewer workers in the 19th century, and that's about how most of them looked. You were allowed to shower only once a week, to do your laundry in the shower, and otherwise you had to do hard labor which was mostly cleaning the filthiest of places all day long.

You were also supposed to be given an exit "security check" which involved being grilled relentlessly with an electropsychometer to uncover your supposed deep dark secret crimes that had led you to fall into such a state of disgrace. The most heinous "crimes" would be having a "List One Rock Slam" which was a jerky needle reaction on the "E-meter" when a number of things were mentioned, like the name L. Ron Hubbard.

Of course, at this time a woman named Paulette Ausley was in charge of the quality of all the so-called "technology" of $cientology as the head of the Qualifications Division worldwide under L. Ron Hubbard. She was on the ship Apollo with Hubbard and consulted with him regularly. Ausley did not know the difference between a "rock slam" and a "dirty needle" (the latter of which supposedly arose at, say, a nagging thought). How do I know this? Because her former husband John told me later, and I verified it (without mentioning John had told me) with Nikki Merwin, who was Mary Sue Hubbard's secretary at the time. Nikki told me "Everyone knew Paulette had that misunderstood, so what." (A "misunderstood" is in $cientology terms a misconstrued meaning for a word or phrase in someone's mind.)

So let's stop for a moment here. Hubbard bought a giant building for cash - $13 million I believe (Nikki's husband Rick was in charge of "estates" and buying property at the time, that's what he told me it cost). He needed it renovated. Hubbard was a cheap, greedy bastard so here was a woman who thought a dirty needle was a rock slam, and if you read off a list with Hubbard's name on it, active executives who were constantly thinking of ways to keep people buying $cientology, some of them would get what Paulette Ausley thought was a rock slam. Which meant those people could be seen as "List One R/Sers" and need great rehabilitation which, according to obese lazy bastard Hubbard would include strenuous physical activity.

How convenient.

Back to my story. When I got to the RPF's RPF I learned there was a group with even less esteem called "the turkeys." These were people who refused to do the slave labor and said screw it. They were left with a guard or two in a small room, to simply sit there all day doing nothing but talking amongst each other, if that. After a few hours sitting with the turkeys, who were either freaked out or sullen and silent, I tried to figure out an escape route. But there were enforcers around like Andre Tabayoyan, who was supposedly a black belt martial artist.

When I saw one of the guards browbeat a formerly respected "case supervisor" (a person who looks over the supposed spiritual progress of people who buy $cientology and get "auditing" or $cientology counseling) into a psychotic rage that resulted in the person saying he was going to get a lawyer and sue the "church" I relented about working. Why? Because if you threatened to sue $cientology, ever, staff or "public," you were declared a Potential Trouble Source Type C and never ever again allowed to have $cientology "counseling." In short, a $cientology death sentence.

For the uninformed, this is the continual control mechanism developed by the evil Hubbard. Everything within $cientology is calculated to convince you that no one else, ever, has developed a way to spiritual freedom other than Hubbard. Every issue of Advance magazine at the time (the publication of the organization where the top levels of $cientology were done then) would have a story about some other religion or philosophy and explain the basics of it, then at the end have a few paragraphs about how that religion or philosophy had failed in its mission and Mankind had been saved (hallelujah!) only due to the persistence and benevolence of L. Ron Hubbard.

It didn't matter than getting to the supposedly top exalted states cost hundreds of thousands of dollars and once you'd spent that and done all the "training" and counseling available, you would be endlessly browbeat to join Hubbard's slave labor force, the Sea Organization. To do otherwise would be "off purpose" from Hubbard's idea of "clearing the planet."

Which basically meant - all you Earth people's give me, Ron the Space Emperor Xenu reincarnated, all your bucks and devotion.

Ah, but I digress.

So I left the "turkeys" and went to work on the RPF's RPF. I had worked in a foundry at one point in my life prior to this. I had worked on a water and sewer crew for a city. I had dug ditches. I was never so filthy as I was cleaning out the bowels of the "complex" and we were only allowed to shower once a week.

And when we went to shower we had to had a "buddy" along. That's how it worked at all times - you had another person watching you and reporting back to "superiors" if you got out of line at all.

Sound like Nazism? Gee, wonder why. What are the "case folder" written records of each "auditing session" but the Hubbard equivalent of Nazi dossiers? And the organization has used them like that, repeatedly.

We were allowed a few personal possessions, so I packed mine in a pillowcase along with my clothes. When my "buddy" was taking a shower, I found a staircase. It lead upstairs to a roof. I found a grassy area below and jumped. It was night time - I had no idea until I got outside - and I took off running across a parking lot and hurried down Sunset Boulevard as pursuers yelled threats at me from the roof where they'd pursued me.

And I would've stayed gone except for one problem. I had an expensive Martin guitar back in my former room at the Wilcox Hotel in Hollywood where the Celebrity Centre staff members stayed. After a few days I called the Celebrity Centre and told Harry Kaneer, then the "Master at Arms" or "ethics officer" (the one who had given me my ultimatum in the company of a 6'4" "Class 8" auditor named James Fiducia) that I simply wanted to part ways, but I wanted my guitar.

Coercion followed and I agree to meet with a woman named Diane Marple in the lobby of the Wilcox Hotel. I explained to her that I was sick of all the mess, that I wanted my guitar (which she had with her) and that I planned to become a successful musician. She launched into a standard "the Earth is doomed within a few years unless $cientology succeeds" mantra which tapped into the reason I joined $cientology in the first place; I thought it would help me help people.

Yvonne Jentzsch, the founder of Celebrity Centre, thoroughly believed this mantra. Of course, she also told a staff meeting that Henry Kissinger was a Russian KGB member, but I didn't know how crazy she was at the time. How could I? I was exhorted by Hubbard to not read newspapers, to not watch TV, to ignore anything from "wogs" (his oft-used term for anyone not a $cientologist).

So there was Diane Marple and two 6'3" muscle-bound goons (one of whom I knew) who had come along with her to forcefully take me back to the RPF if necessary. I wanted that guitar, it had cost me a lot of money prior to joining the Sea Org. So with her promise that she would deliver my guitar to a former staff member friend of mine (which she did, I later learned), I went back to the RPF.

During the time I'd been gone, I'd done some construction work with my former staff member friend (the ONLY person I knew who would take me in) and I had some money.

This time I did the RPF's RPF "program" which basically consisted of writing out how awfully wrong you'd been using one of Hubbard's bullshit "ethics formulas." I "graduated" to the RPF.

By this time, the word had leaked out of the $cientology community about the despicable conditions the slave laborers were working under. Non-staff $cientologists weren't happy about some of their former favorite staff members who were suddenly "evil and in need of rehabilitation."

And the bulk of the work on the "complex" was about done.

So Hubbard suddenly "discovered" that awful things were going on and dispatched a "missionaire" to straighten it out and get anyone who didn't want to be on the RPF or staff off of it and back into public life.

Of course, every single course they'd taken while working at room and board, a few dollars a week if that, and often eating rice and beans for all their meals, and all the "auditing" they received would have to be paid for at full price, which could mean hundreds of thousands of dollars in a "freeloader debt." You see, Hubbard felt that if you didn't uphold your Sea Org contract and work your billion years (no kidding, that's what it read) you were a "freeloader" just there for "free services" and you should pay through the nose.

Later, they changed that (due to public non-$cientology pressure) and began giving people credit for time on staff -- if you did five years, no charges applied. 20% for one year, etc.

And there I was, getting my "exit security check" by a Class 8 auditor who had formerly run the Advanced Organization. Dang, he just couldn't find any of those awful evil crimes Hubbard was sure was there. So he tried to beg me into staying because he thought I was a cool guy. "Sorry, Gary," I told him. "This scene here is bullshit, and you know it."

Myself and a number of people were "routed off" while being treated like evil alien space cattle. But there was a catch. We had to sign a document that stated that if we ever revealed to ANYONE what had occurred on the RPF, we would get a $cientology death sentence and additionally pay a FINE to the "church" of $50,000.

What the hell, we all figured. Anything to get the hell out of that psychotic zoo.

And that, ladies and gentlemen, is just one of the many, many horror stories of being involved in $cientology for far, far too long.

Had I not been a disillusioned, impressionable, very young baby boomer without a good stable family, I might never have fallen and continued to fall for the continual lies, delusions and hypnotic mantras of L. Ron Hubbard and his eager minions.

Gee, wonder if they'll try to enforce the $50,000 fine on me now?

All of the above is just the tip of the iceberg of what I went through with these jerks. Their problem is, I have a photographic memory and some decent writing skills.

Forward this story, but only completely unchanged, to anyone you wish. And tell everyone you know that $cientology is the most evil cult on planet Earth, and that it will be finished within a couple of years. It is a dying beast staggering to its knees, and no one will rescue from the filth it created, in which it will choke into nothingness.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 19, 2010, 11:56:08 AM
      David Miscavige/SCIENTOLOGY and Jim Jones/PEOPLE'S TEMPLE Strange Simliarities!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 19, 2010, 01:39:33 PM
                          Coming of age...

I remember the police at reception at the Toronto Org, when I was young. The officer stood there and waited for some time talking with the receptionist, this was after the largest raid in Canadian history by the Ontario Provincial Police. But I was young and didn’t know why the police were there, I remember asking why and the receptionist wouldn’t answer my questions.

My name is Ryan, I grew up in Scientology from the age of 5, and I remember bits and pieces of my scientology upbringing. My main point of this is to help others know what it was like to grow up a Scientologist, my relationships with the people at the Org and what it was like in the Sea Org. I’m going to tell you about my life in scientology and after it.....

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 22, 2010, 03:44:44 PM

             Mexico CoS - Daniel Asse files criminal complaint

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 22, 2010, 03:49:53 PM

        Steve Hassan clip from Scientology Documentary

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 23, 2010, 09:27:04 AM

                         My Nine Lives in Scientology


Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 24, 2010, 08:08:24 AM
                             They Should Not Have Died

                                   Victims of Scientology

Post by: Sharone Stainforth on December 07, 2010, 02:58:00 AM
Exscn child.

For second (and later) generation scientologists this is particularly insidious as their whole understanding of the world is based in scientology. It took me the best part of fifteen years to finally understand the world as a normal person and be able to relate to people in a normal manner. I still struggle at times, but I have generally become well adjusted. I absolutely cannot stress enough the damage scientology does to children, not only in terms of blatant abuse or neglect, which is very common in scientology families, but real lasting mental damage which leaves them unable to relate to the world at large in a rational and sane manner. I know - I experienced it and this is my story. (

Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 12, 2010, 09:42:39 AM
                            Fair Gamed In Good Standing!

So, I'm sitting here thinking about a couple of references.

One fer suuuuuuure is Fair Game and the other mentions "you treat an SP pretty rough".

Well, I got to thinking, when in good standing I was accused of being a CIA plant, PDH'd, a spy, a thief, a pervert, a criminal, 1.1...

I was denied property, lied to, tricked, blackmailed, coerced, extorted, cajoled...

I was locked in rooms and held against my will, had people enter my residence uninvited numerous times, couldn't even begin to describe the phone calls and the language spoken with the emotional tone...

Did I mention the money and interest in my personal welfare and finances?

You have no idea of what I have personally seen done and it has zero to do with being free of insanity, crime and war. Looks like with all the distortion of facts someone is trying to Cloud the planet and not Clear it! The Bridge to Total Plunging Precipice Conveniently Constructed With Tripwires And Obscured By Clouds.

All this took place while I was in good standing, disseminating and over 40 hours per week on course. In short - upstat.

This happened across more than one org - same shit, different day - SSDD.

Then I got to thinking about exchange and how that keys in the bank and all that f*n BS from L Ron Blowhard, and, let's see, how about the new basic books and the public in general.

Now if I had books that provided a deadly serious service to people and if they didn't quite "get it" it could dramatically impact their implementation of this deadly serious service negatively and perhaps jeapordize their entire spiritual existence for all eternity and every last man, woman and child throughout all time and drunken vikings in valhalla and whatever else you can dream up...and people forked over money for the intellectual use of these books and it was found that what they paid for was an honest to goodness overt product...and us all knowing about fair exchange and partial exchange and rip off and exchange in abundance and it's exchange that keeps the bank off the thetan and all this exact tech that works and all that...


1. Rip Off - I sell you books and you never hear from me again and get no books. OK, that didn't happen. How about you pay for 2 books and get 1 usable 1? Yeah, yepper, that would definitely be RIP OFF - and this is practiced by governments and tax officials and crooks like that.

2. Partial Exchange - I sell you books in good faith and we find out they're corrupted overt product versions. Then you have to rebuy the corrected version - you know, the one you paid for to begin with. Yeah, we're definitely fer suuuure hitting close to the mark. Personally, I think it would be more like this if you paid for the book, got the overt product and then had to pay for the shipping of the corrected product. That's Partial and the other is Rip Off.

3. Fair Exchange - I sell you the overt product and then replace it with the product you thought you purchased. Now that would definitely be Fair, wouldn't it? No additional cost to you.

4. Exchange in Abundance - I sell you the overt product. Once discovered, I give you the leather bound version of the corrected product for free. That would be Exchange in Abundance.

That sanity is good stuff!

It's amazing the way the COS treats its members in good standing just like they were handling SPs!

PTS to the White Hats, indeed!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 14, 2010, 10:16:03 PM
                                  Flag Rep'ed Off?

Ok! So I haven't seen anything else on this and it is my main
sticking point of their lies!

I was asked to be the Flag Rep for Chicago Org.
They told me that I would earn exactly the same pay as the ED
of Chicago (at that time the ED was Sarah Wells).

They told me she earned between $400.00 to $600 per week depending upon the services delivered by the church.

They told me that with a Flag rep in the Org that would likely increase.

They said there was a small thing I had to do.

JOIN THE SEA ORGANIZATION and a few months of training in NY.

I had a job that paid more than that but I wanted to stay in Chicago more, so I said OK.

Harry (the Chi Org HAS) did mention that the last person they sent to be a Flag Rep didn't return because he agreed to do something else in the Sea Org instead. He assured me that Flag wanted a Rep in Chicago and would do anything to
place me there.

Roy Sharkovitz (sharky?) the CLO Flag Rep SNR was supposed to train me but when I showed up he transfered out.

(btw, all this happened within a month of me walking through the door at Chicago Org with no knowledge of any kind of SCN other then it was a cult started by L. Ron Hubbard. A long time friend worked as the Treas Sec Chicago and I visited him passing through to my next job)

After the EPF CLO EUS went into Renos mode and "Excalibur" was utterly under mission for transformation.

I was ripped off my Flag Rep training at NY Org to be a Purchasing assistant for the Renos mission headed by Laurie Englehardt (INT Landlord)

In between that: Chris Darby (left with Carlos Manrique) was my SNR Flag Rep, and Jose Muarno's sister were training me.

also someone named: Rick Hilton was a temp SNR Flag Rep and also Stanley Booth.

A person named Nick Stadnick (Flag Rep New Haven Org) and Kevin Condon (Flag Rep Boston Org) were trying to help me out with what was going on. Nick kept saying that I was "Illegally" ripped off post.

Anyway, after the renos was over, the A. treas aide (Dennis Daganais) told me that I was to be reposted as a Security Guard at CLO EUS. He also informed me that my standard Sea Organization pay was $30.00 per week.


Oh wait, I never did sign the Sea Org contract, I should have walked the fuck out the door!

Anyway, to get to my point. Are there any actual Flag Reps in the Orgs? How long do they last before being ripped off post to do other things?

I am wondering if that is an Org's golden carrot to get raw meat into the Sea Org when all other methods of recruiting goes south.

I haven't seen any other Flag rep stories, point me to some if you know any.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 22, 2010, 06:54:15 PM
               Flavio, A Stolen Son – by Renata Lugli

I would like to tell my personal experience in Scientology from a mother’s viewpoint, which is my main beingness, regarding my two sons, Flavio and Tiziano. What I had to live through myself with regards to what has happened to them, was the main reason for our departure from the Church, besides all other facts that we included in our Resignation Letter -(

Flavio and Tiziano were born in 1977 and ‘78, and my husband and I were both in the Sea Org at that time, we joined in ’74 and left in ’82. During that time one could still have kids in the Sea Org, and regardless of the amount of work that was absorbing our lives, I have always tried to give my sons all of my attention and communication, trying to give them, to the best of my abilities, an ethical education and a spiritual growth towards their self-determinism and mental sanity.

Flavio always demonstrated to be very loving and caring towards his father and I. As a child his extreme kindness and pureness of heart, coupled with a big urge in helping others was clearly visible. His decision to join the Sea Org was of no surprise to us, in fact we hoped for it at the time, knowing that it completely aligned with his urge toward helping others. We were joyful when we found out he had signed his one billion year contract, because we thought the Sea Org to be the most sane place to be on planet earth.

I was there at Flag in ’97 as I was about to start my Solo Nots Certainty as a public Scientologist, when Flavio came over to give me the news he had activated his SO contract. The way he said it left me in a state of disbelief, and that moment was terribly painful to the degree that still to day 13 years later I can vividly see that scene. Flavio looked at me condescendingly, his eyes were expressing complete resentment toward me, as if all of a sudden I became his biggest enemy. He was completely changed, the situation was incomprehensible and for me, a complete shock.

The last time we said bye to one another we were in complete harmony! What could have happened in these few hours?

I was trying to fill the vacuum thinking that his reaction was caused by an hypothetical wrong handling, maybe some incompetent gave him a PTS interview and indicated to him that I was his Suppressive terminal. Or he might have gotten the beginning of an indoctrination, from some high roller exec with his posh uniform, which told him Tone 40 to cut his umbilical cord to his family so that he could align with the standards of CMO FSO. Or they might have had him sign a pile of confidentiality agreements so that anything he will have said would have been a violation of highly confidential subjects. My mind was fishing for a rational reason, but to no avail.

I remained at Flag at the time, and it took me a whole year to finish the Solo Nots Certainty. It was a horrible year for me, with sleepless nights, an avalanche of wrong indications and wrong C/Ses. Flavio never called me throughout that year and in that entire time I only saw him for maybe 40 minutes, even though we were living only a few blocks from each other. I then decided to “end cycle” on this, telling myself that Flavio will eventually see the mistake he had made and then everything would come back to normal.

How wrong I was…!!!

I think I had committed a big mistake by not dealing with it more aggressively at the time, so that he would have eventually told me what really went down. But there is a reason for this, thanks to all of the repetitive errors of my Case programming, I was completely introverted, PTS, my anchor points were all squashed in and my beingness shrank. These were all errors that have been accumulated starting from ’87, real GAEs, perpetrated by alleged Class XIIs and incompetent C/Sing – which had nothing to do with me, as if he was C/Sing somebody else’s folder.

In 2005, after 18 years in borderline hell and almost as a miracle, I was able to handle this situation with my auditor Cristina, for whom I am still grateful to this day. I took back my once lost life, and at this point I was able to clearly see what situation had developed with Flavio.

Right after this de-PTSness, I tried talking to my son on three occasions, but it seemed impossible: he would get restimulated to the point of becoming ill, he would become so overwhelmed despite the fact that my approaches were really delicate on him.

Only now I am able to understand what really happened: Flavio had certainly received an heavy SRA from HCO CMO (Severe Reality Adjustment – a technique elaborated at a certain point in the SO, by which an individual gets overwhelmed by several people yelling at him, insulting him, etc. with the end result of having shoved in an idea to make him behave in a certain way) and this acted as a real IMPLANT on him.

Throughout his 13 years in the SO, the only relationship we had was “social”. He would call every once in a while and would be extremely brief. His communication was full of good roads fair weather, as if he was always handling an alleged PTS situation on our part, or there were PR phone calls where he would inform us about how everything was amazing at FLAG. These were a few minutes long, stolen time between a short meal, always with the prefix “I don’t have time right now”, “I have muster”, “I gotta do the roll call”, “I have to go handle…” – and every time I asked him anything, the most common answer was “I can’t tell you, it’s confidential”. Especially on this “I can’t tell you” part, LRH says something that is very frightening to me:

“The simplest and most common implant – and its lightest but not least deadly form – is the command to withhold. Implants could be said to be methods of preventing knowledge or communication.” HCOB 11 Apr 82 – Sec Checking Implants

But for us, the most painful thing, was not the very brief phone calls, but that tone of unexpressed resentment that you could sense every time he would speak to us. We understood that that trust, that love and appreciation that he had always treasured for us, had crumbled – and we had to learn how to live with it for 13 long years.

In an effort to alleviate this pain, we were hoping that with time Flavio was going to be able to realize what caused his departure from his own parents, but we were completely unaware on how the Sea Org had completely transformed since the time we had lived it (and on this part alone we could say so much…).

Many times Flavio got sick, one of which was really severe. His health was getting so precarious since he joined, all the time friends would come back from Flag telling us how Flavio was spending sleepless nights, especially during the infamous and unchecked fund raising for the Basics, and the never ending IAS regging. I don’t’ know if many of you know this, but every FLAG staff has a weekly regging quota that has to be met, no matter what, and until he or she reaches it, they cannot go to bed.

If we were to give you details, it would take a book to express what me and my husband went through in these years, but we are more and more convinced that in these 13 years, Flavio had received so much mental conditioning, and not only directed towards us, that we utterly believe that his mind had been stolen by his “church”, the same church that had STOLEN OUR SON.

The events surrounding Flavio that follow, cross with what was happening to his brother Tiziano.

Tiziano attested to Clear in 1990 at Flag. In 2001 he went back to the base for his OT Preps and they put him back on the CCRD to verify its validity. He re-attested in a new unit of time Clear (actually a state called The State Of Clear – CERTIFIED). In ’08 he went back at Flag to end cycle on his Preps and route onto his OT Levels, but he got hit with an R-Factor that he is not Clear – unfortunately this is pretty much in fashion these days. I’m not going to explain the details of this event, for he wrote a great account on all that happened on his post (, but I’d like to add what me and Claudio had to go through for the next year and a half because of this.

We knew that what Tiziano was going thorough was extremely delicate, so about 2 or 3 times a day while at Flag, we would talk to him, and he would tell us what was happening. We were always confident that the truth would give good indicators, and that Tiziano would never oppose to the truth, no matter what that was. But as time passed, so was any progress on this cycle, until it just got stuck; even though Tiziano did more than could be expected, and we were witnesses of all this as it was occurring. Sec Checks were the only auditing action he was permitted to do, as we know being the number one auditing action ordered by C/Ses at Flag, and YES, Tiziano had to be REFORMED, he had to stop giving FSO penalty stats by giving Red Tags repeatedly at the examiner. Nothing came from Claudio writing a detailed KR to RTC Int in order to debug the situation. We were all beyond overwhelmed by now, especially since we knew that Tiziano did the impossible, not only financially, to try to get onto his OT Levels, and endured beyond any limit of toleration.

We could hear him distraught, as he was confessing to us that he saw his Bridge shutting in front of his eyes, for he would have never compromised his certainty on being Clear and he would have never been put on Dianetics.

After all this he decided to be done with these evaluations and handlings, and got the hell out of Flag with very bad indicators, telling everyone to go screw themselves, and once back in LA he requested his folders to be sent to Senior C/S Int.

In the meantime Tiziano and Jamie’s wedding date arrived, and we all decide to take a brake from all this and go celebrate this event in great harmony.

And here Flavio comes back into the scene in 2009.

After pulling many strings we were able to get him to participate to the wedding. As soon as he arrived, he urged us to go read the Freedom Mag, in answer to what was happening in Clearwater with what the SP Times had published. It was pretty logical for us to then go look at what the SP Times actually wrote to fully understand the situation. Once we looked at the content and watched every Video online, we told Flavio that if the data that is being exposed were true, we all would find ourselves in a huge mess!

Back at Flag Flavio reported on everything that is nowadays considered the biggest crime that a Scientologist could do: GO ON THE INTERNET.

Right after, Marion Pow and Mike Sutter, showed up in front of our store in Brescia ITALY, all the way from Los Angeles. These are two people that work directly for COB – their purpose was to try to have us – two sinners – redeem ourselves, by first of all expressing their disapproval for the fact that we had looked on the Internet and we got all of the “entheta”. They tried to obliterate the image of the “Number One SP Marty Rathbun” with a huge Dead Agent pack, since he was considered to be “the WHO” of the whole situation.

Our answer to this was that due to our current case condition and having achieved a state whereby NO ONE can tell us what to do or not to do, we didn’t need anyone’s approval regarding the decisions we take. We took the time to instead press on the fact that our sons, for one reason or another, have been completely messed up by the church. And knowing their authority we requested immediate actions: for Flavio to make sure his health condition would go back to at least normal, and that whatever the absurdity that went down with Tiziano was, would once and for all get handled.

The whole back and forth – merry go round – lasted till 4AM. And do you know with which sentence did Marion ended the conversation? The same one she used to begin: “but why did you guys go on the Internet?”

Meanwhile in LA, where Tiziano and Jamie live, the resignation letter of the renowned and Oscar winning director Paul Haggis hit the news. Tiziano wanted to look deeper into it, landed onto Marty’s Blog. The rest is pretty much known. Tiziano and Jamie got on a plane and go to Texas.

Marion Paow, Mike Sutter and this time along with a third guy, Hansuili Stahli, showed up at our door steps in Italy in the middle of the night. They immediately informed Claudio that Tiziano and Jamie were just with Marty in Texas, and that the situation got out of their control, that his folders where look at by Ray Mithoff, and that Tiziano was absolutely NOT CLEAR, but that without any doubt Marty told him he was.

Right after popping out Marty’s SP Declare, now 20 pages long, they started telling Claudio what an incredibly out ethics person our son was, and they wanted to show him Tiziano’s crimes contained in his Folders that they brought along.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 22, 2010, 06:54:48 PM
                            Part 2

This is classical OSA operation: DEFAMATION.

I was already in bed that night, so I didn’t have to receive that entheta impact, as my husband did through that nasty request. Claudio refused categorically to look into Tiziano’s folders, telling them that he didn’t have any interest in knowing any content of it for it is CONFIDENTIAL, and that it would have certainly not changed the opinion we had of our son, because for us he’s always been an open book.

When Claudio told me all about the meeting, I expressed the desire to not see them for the entire time they spent in Italy – from the 23rd to the 31st of December.

I found their approach to be beyond anti-spiritual, I did not want to have anything to do with such people that didn’t even take any responsibility for what FSO had caused Tiziano, letting him leave completely BIs. But here they stood, with their weapons ready to shoot at him and us as well if we didn’t reform. They asked Claudio what kind of a behavior would he be having with Tiziano, in the event that he wouldn’t repent and reform by doing the A to E steps – hence doing a subtle introduction to the subject of disconnection. Knowing exactly where they were going to go with this, and before they asked for a formal disconnection agreement, he told them that we would have NEVER and NEVER will disconnect from our son.

They left soon after, but that was only the beginning. As a matter of fact, the subject of disconnection, was once again brought up by his brother Flavio, an act that was gruesome to say the least.

We got a phone call from Flavio inviting us to have a video conference via Skype, a planned meeting a day in advance. We talked to him that night on the phone for about an hour and on Skype the next day for two and a half hours, and the theme of the conversation was only one: convincing us to disconnect from Tiziano, a discussion he had been taking from several angles. It was pretty hard for us watching this family massacre as it was about to unfold: using our son Flavio to convince us to shoot at his brother Tiziano. Claudio and I found each other in an atmosphere that resembled a gangster movie more then an ecclesiastical scenario, with no respect whatsoever to unbreakable family ties.

Flavio was reading us aloud exerts form the HCOB PTS and Disconnection, the same one that the so called liar Tommy Davis was claiming didn’t exist in front of millions of viewers on CNN. Our efforts in trying to explain that LRH cancelled it long ago were in vain. As soon as the intimidation tactic failed to get anywhere with us, including telling us the consequences we would be facing in the event we would not disconnect with Tiziano, plan B from OSA came into play: MORE DEFAMATION.

I can only tell you that as soon as Flavio started shooting defamation bullets against his brother, I started screaming like a mad woman until I literally lost my voice. I screamed about FSO, having ruined both of my children, I screamed at him for making me pass 13 years of pain and sorrow as I was noticing his progressive derangement since he joined the SO, I screamed about FSO asking me to destroy my own family with disconnection. At this point Flavio got silent, and changed tactic, going full on good roads and fair weather. I mean they all got silent, was OSA thinking we were the dumbest, stupidest folks on earth? They thought we didn’t know they were behind the computer directing every move Flavio was making? Who knows why the line would suddenly drop and be back only a few minutes later… They didn’t however make Flavio disconnect from us. I guess they thought it would be more detrimental to do so, as well as we had not been declared yet, they actually started having him act “really nice”.

Because we didn’t disconnect from Tiziano and we went on the Internet, OSA was monitoring us from 360 degrees. Here is the rundown:

- Sending over to our shop about a dozen OTVIIIs, and another dozen calling us over the phone.

- When we would cross the path with other Scientologists in town they would change their way as not to bump into us. (apparently the ones who were not briefed to do OSA’s bidding, were instructed to stay away from us so as not to become educated.)

- After 5 years of not hearing from my auditor at Flag, I all of a sudden get a phone call from her.

- An OSA bot named Gloria, that works for them as an auditor, came to my shop trying to handle me into going in session with her.

- Numerous times I’ve noticed being followed by PIs and others using Cell Phones to record my conversations.

- A dear friend of ours was barred from talking to us, because we were on OSA INT lines.

- Flavio was being used to monitor us: it was very evident, although he kept trying to be as normal as he could, and his communications was carefully planned, but you can’t fool a mother!

But now it all starts to get juicier! Flavio has recently come to Italy because his grandma (my mother) was dying and had expressed her desire to see him after so many years and to finally meet his wife.

Once in Italy we were noticing Flavio to be spying on us. He was looking at my cell phone, Claudio’s phone, the home phone, both of the house computers, and was asking his father if he was still going on the Internet. All of this thinking that we wouldn’t notice him doing it. He’s very naïve, at times I would get a call and he would try to check caller’s ID of people calling me, I really started to get upset at this point, not at him necessarily, but at those terminals that forced Flavio to do this kind of a job, completely in opposition to his beingness…and he obviously got caught doing it, which was another BIG mistake for OSA.

Besides what could have been the reasons they gave Flavio to coax him into becoming a rat, I was sure that he didn’t feel any good about doing what he was doing to his parents, hence his continual Missed Withholdy face.

At a certain point Flavio asked me some very personal question that denoted parts of my PC Folder were given to him, I realized the defamation tactic had been played on myself. That was IT! I was furious, because the evil that I had been perceiving, coupled with the clear vision of what grim last resource had been used by OSA, made me decide…It’s OVER! I’m gonna depart from all this evil.

So we decided to tell Flavio WHO his FRIENDS were.

We were completely done playing a game that lasted a whole year full of third party that had only as its purpose to destroy our family.

But by his many reactions: “I can’t be listening to this…” – “don’t tell me anything…” – “I’m not interested…”, it was evident that his thoughts were blocked.

His ability to decide and analyze was reduced to ZERO.

He had been programmed to such a degree that he would reject anything that would have not been aligned to that programming.

He left to Flag the next day.

Here ends my story of Flavio, a stolen son.

It does not end however, the pain and the rage of the betrayed trust that still lingers inside of us.

Post by: Sharone Stainforth on December 23, 2010, 03:58:06 AM
Human Trfficking -Victim of the Church of Scientology in Russia.

Posted by Sponge on OCMB. (

Taken from the Communicator: Link on Sponges post.

We worked for free the only thing we got was food and bed, from 7 am to 11 pm at night without weekends off. Then they took us to dormitory where we were living in 8-16 people in the room. In addition, they only allowed us 2 minutes for shower after that they turned off lights. Cleaning of rooms also was our responsibilities, the church did not have working persons and all our work was repairing, and cleaning rooms, offices and the hotels for the public was our job. The cleaning of kitchens and washing dishes in the kitchens were also our responsibilities. However, the most horrible thing was that they forced my 14-year-old son to work during two weeks at nights building a stage for a concert hall and then he was engaged in painting pipes with very smelly paint underground without any air conditioning. During the day, he and other men were allowed only 3 hours to sleep and then they were taken away for work. I could not recognize my son; he did not understand what was happening at the rare moments when I saw him. He had a dazed look and did not seem to care. Before our departure, his temperature rose and he could not understand where I was taking him. All 15 hours of our transatlantic flight, my children did not eat and could only sleep because of their exhaustion

Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 31, 2010, 09:45:20 AM
                        The Serial Murderer Recruited to AOLA

I've been wanting to tell this story for years. It's such a great story and I was there so this is a firsthand account.

Back in around 1983 or so, when we were recruiting raw people into the Sea Org, Denise Mulkey, then HAS AOLA, recruited a man named MICHAEL SHAY (possibly Michael O'Shea) for HCO.

He was a good looking man, dark hair, olive skin, and wore a huge gold cross and claimed he was very religious.

I had been busted (aGAIN, I don't even remember for what, I was a regular at the decks) and was working temporarily as a Letter Reg. Michael Shay was assigned Dir of Comm. His stat was Letters Out.

Every week my stat was a little up (for time off, of course) but his always skyrocketed. He was commended and acknowledged and blah blah.

Denise had done his sec checks, by the way. He passed with flying colours. (Another example of the "unbeatable emeter"). He wasn't a Scn, but we all knew he was such a religious man.

But staff were starting to miss their mail and nobody knew where all the letters came from that were on the letters out, but sure enough, the bulk postage meter showed that the money had been spent. And well, you know, Michael had that big gold cross on and he was such a religious man and had an explanation for everything.

There was a sweet non-Scn working with me in the Letter Reg section. A young black woman, can't remember her name just now, so I'll call her Ingrid. One Monday morning she came into work clearly shooken up.

"What's wrong?" I asked. With a little prodding, she told me.
"Ingrid" had gone on a date with Michael Shay. She said it was the creepiest experience of her life. She told me he had taken her for a walk and then told her in a creepy way how he had to get rid of his wife. She was so scared, she wasn't sure she'd make it home. She quit a few weeks later.

So I told Denise, hey, those aren't my letters out, and nobody was working Saturday. But I was scared in a way I can't even describe, terrified to the bone. Michael knew I was onto him and if looks could kill - well, that expression met nothing until you met someone like Michael. Denise started investigating me for using a memory key on the typewriter for using set phrases on folders where we knew nothing about the person. So I asked her to RPF me (Please! Please! I'll be safe there!!! I thought) and she did.

Within a week or two, Michael Shay was asked by one of his roommates to lend him his car. He did, but not without a lot of argument. Unknown to Mr. Shay, the SO member drove the car out of state. He was pulled over and thrown on the ground with several guns to his body and head because they had mistaken him for MIchael Shay.

Seems Michael Shay was wanted in several states for murder.

In the middle of the night, police from several states came to his dorm in Big Blue with guns to his head and arrested him.

This is a true story and can be verified with police reports.
The Church of Scientology is an organized fascist cult that perpetrates crimes against its followers and denies the human rights to individuals that are guaranteed by law.

Fascism (Wiktionary): A political regime, usually totalitarian, ideologically based on centralized government, government control of business, repression of criticism or opposition, a leader cult and exalting the state and/or religion above individual rights.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 02, 2011, 08:54:18 PM
                                        IT AIN'T OVER

Jack Reno is an inside joke and here I am, finally. I was in the Sea Organization for ten years and left about 25 years ago, about the time Ron died (yes, that joke). I first met Ron when I was a kid because my family had served in the war together. While in the service of the church I rose up through the ranks and became a top counselor and later a Senior Case Supervisor; I oversaw new research projects which resulted in counseling procedures or instructional materials called rundowns. I oversaw the following rundowns: Purification, Survival, Happiness, End of Endless Misunderstoods, the Running Program, and False Purpose.
I returned home from training in Florida to find all my worldly belongings in boxes outside of my berthing and I was ordered to find a place to live; in nautical terms I had been beached; set ashore and told to be on my way. I hitchhiked to a family member's home in another city with a pillow case full of all I could manage to take away. I called ahead from a public telephone in the rain late at night. That was my departure from the Sea Organization of the church, after ten years of dedicated service. I must say it had been something of an adventure.
They hunted me down, they sent a mission, they begged and pleaded for me to come back. I managed to retrieve my few possessions, but didn't come back; and so I was declared to be a "suppressive person". I didn't mind so much but for my friends, so I took an amnesty and asked for a Board of Review and got the "suppressive person" declaration canceled. It took a long time, years, by then the friends I had tried to save had moved on, as I had as well.
I began to write stories and movie screenplays. I have always thought that the story "Revolt in the Stars" would be a cool Science Fiction movie, so I adapted it and wrote a screenplay and asked for permission and was treated like a freeloader and dismissed, when I inquired, I was ignored. I am going to write another screenplay, and this one is not based on a story that Ron wrote. It's my own story about those ten years I was in the Sea Organization and what I know about working and living with Ron.
It ain't over between the church and me, or us among me, us, all, you all. Ya'll get the ideas.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 31, 2011, 10:23:46 PM
        A response to..

Revised 29 Jan 2011 (deletions in square brackets)         

I pretty much did what you say. Scientology actually has a program for this. They call it "doing the basics".

I did all of the basics. I went through each book and word cleared the hell out of them. My personal idea was to make sure I fully understood everything, now that the books where "on-source". Here is what my ulitimate findings were:

1. What I had achieved as part of going "Clear" was not even close to what Elron talks about and promises. My memory was even worse than it was before $cn. Forget about being able to recall things with "52 perceptions". Looking at all the people that I knew that were Clear, none of them had anything closely resembling what Elron talked about.

2. Being OT V I had no OT abilities. On one of your previous posts you talk about an "OT" win that you had recently. Well, things like that happened to me all of the time before I came in $cn. What happened is that these "OT abilities" happened less and less as I went up the "OT" levels. But forget about those kinds of things as "OT" abilities. What I was after was the reall "OT" abilities. Being exterior with full perception was what Elron promised. I don't know of one Scientologist that has achieved that, not one. And I personnaly knew over 300 Scientologists, many who had actually done all 3 L's. In all of my auditing, I had never gone exterior with any perception. But I had done this before coming into $cn.

From that I cognited that the $cn "Tech" (lower grades) is just a mildly effective Phsycotherapy. No "Bridge to Total Freedom" exists. That is "Truth Revealed", and I realised that I had achieved the EP of $cn.

Now, I do understand where you are coming from. When I was on staff, I was pretty good at keeping people moving on the "Bridge". I used things like Book of Case Remedies and Recovering students and PC's. The biggest problem with public was the regging and being sold things that they didn't need. I was good at handling that, and getting them onto what they did needed. But here is one thing I did notice. No matter how much Bridge a person did, he still had the same issues in his life. A guy who was having problems with his wife had the same problems all the way up his "Grades". A guy who had sexual perversions still had sexual perversions no matter how many Sec Checks and ethics handlings he had. A guy who liked looking at Porno kept on doing it. And all of these people said how much $cn was helping them. WTF

So the bottom line here is - Scientology doesn't work. And that makes me PTS Type I (doesn't believe Scientology works).

Robert H

Post #5 on this thread..

Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 10, 2011, 07:32:47 AM
                         AFFIDAVIT OF TONJA BURDEN

25 January 1980

Copyright (C) 1980 Tonja Burden

Redistribution rights granted for non commercial purposes.

My name is Tonja Burden of Las Vegas, Nevada. I am 20 years old. On or about March 3, 1973, when I was 13 years old, my father and mother were recruited to join Scientology. I joined Scientology after being recruited by Billy Kohn, and signed my Sea Organization contract for one billion years on or about March 3, 1973.

Kohn stated that we would be placed on the staff in Las Vegas, live in well furnished, private quarters, eat well and earn a substantial amount of money with two days off per week. My father sold his Cadillac and sports car, and we drove to Los Angeles with our recruiter.

Scientology placed me in the Cadet Organization, and my parents in the American Saint Hill Organization (ASHO). The Cadet Organization, headed by Dorothy Jefferson, at 811 Beacon Street, Los Angeles, California, consisted of two three-story buildings that housed approximately 400 children. The Cadet Organization was designed to teach children about Scientology. My duties were to care, clean and feed the children. Myself and another girl my age were the two oldest children at the Cadet Organization. The living conditions were squalid. Glass from broken windows lay strewn over the floors. Live electrical wires were exposed in areas where young children played. We received little food. On several occasions spoiled milk with maggots was served to children. The maggots were removed by hand before the milk was served. In addition to caring for the children, I cleaned toilets daily. I wrote to L. Ron Hubbard explaining the conditions, but nothing improved.

Children were not allowed to live with their parents. Scientology permitted one visit every other week, and only for 45 minutes during mealtime. My parents were placed at American Saint Hill Organization and left Scientology in September 1973, when I was aboard the ship, the Apollo.

One day a man arrived at the Cadet Organization from Flag. Flag headquarters was on the Apollo. This man spoke of 'The Source,' L Ron Hubbard. Hubbard, the founder of Scientology, needed 'messengers' and others to work aboard his ship.

I left the Cadet Organization after approximately three months. I was then sent to Folo, another Scientology base located at the Manor on Franklin Street in Los Angeles, California. At Folo I was placed in the Flag Readiness Unit (FRU). Chuck Pierce ran this unit. The program was designed to conduct 'security checks' of individuals to ensure they were appropriate subjects to work for L. Ron Hubbard aboard the Apollo.

During questioning they attempted to determine if I was connected to any 'Suppressive Persons.' (A Suppressive Person is one hostile to the Scientology cult.) I was given a personality test and an IQ test and other tests. I participated in indoctrination (brainwashing) for three months. Finally, I was approved and sent into Briefing.

The Briefing process occurred on or about August 1973. In briefing, Peter Cook instructed me to give specific answers to certain questions that may be asked me by non-Scientologists. Basically, briefing involved how to answer questions that I might encounter while en route to the Apollo. Many of the things I was instructed to say were not true. The location and operations aboard the Apollo remained secret. I was told if a customs agent or other non-Scientologist asked about my destination, I should respond I was 'in transit'.

Peter cook briefed me on my cover story. I was to tell people I was 'in transit' to the Operation Transport Corporation (OTC), a business management school on board ship. In briefing, Cook demonstrated my 'in transit conduct' by using modeling clay. He would construct a clay ship and clay people and simulate my interactions with other people while 'in transit;' using this method, he ingrained the standard responses.

I flew to New York after briefing and was met by Kevin Campbell. Campbell worked in a building in New York and assisted in operating RONY. RONY, I later learned, was a liaison point that received coded Telex messages from the Apollo and relayed those coded messages via Telex machines to other organizations ('orgs') in the United States and other parts of the world. Aboard the ship I would see Mike Henderson take Telex messages from the ship and go ashore to send those messages to RONY in New York. On other occasions, Henderson would go ashore to receive Telex messages from RONY, New York. I was privy to these practices as L. Ron Hubbard's personal messenger.

Campbell placed me on a plane and instructed me to meet Chuck Adams at my destination, Lisbon, Portugal. Adams met me at the airport in Lisbon and informed me that the Apollo had set sail. Several hours later, Adams discovered the ship's destination was the island of Madeira. I was placed on a plane to Madrid, Spain and at Madrid switched over to a flight that arrived on the island of Madeira.

Questioned by customs agents, I told them I was 'in transit.' I located a taxi drive who drove me to the Apollo.

I saw the Apollo for the first time and was greatly disappointed by its dilapidated condition. Once aboard, I was assigned a 'buddy' and given two days to learn about the ship. The Apollo was one of five ships operated by Scientology which Hubbard used to direct the worldwide organizations. There were approximately 300 - 500 'Sea Org' Scientologist aboard the Apollo. I was given a berth in the women's dorm and placed in the Estates Project Force (EPF).

The EPF was designed to work on the individual to gauge how much strain one could tolerate. I was told the EPF would transform me to an 'able-bodied seaman.'

In FPF, my day began at 6:00 am. I scrubbed clothes from 6:00 am until 12:00 noon without breakfast or any breaks. The clothes were scrubbed by hand in a bucket, and I was directed to rinse each article in 13 separate buckets. Then I hung the clothes on the deck to dry.

After one-half hour lunch I was assigned to clean six cabins. Cabins had to meet white glove inspection. This meant a white glove or Q-tip was used to check corners and shelves of each cabin for dust. If the cabins were not cleaned to white-glove perfection, I had to run a lap around the boat before recleaning the room. A lap was equivalent to about one-fifth of a mile. My day would end about 12:00 midnight.

On rainy days I ironed the clothes dry. This required ironing during the evening hours and into the morning hours. On many occasions I ironed through the night, finishing at 6:00 am. I then started washing the next morning's clothing. On occasion I worked three or four days without sleep. I fell asleep at the ironing board with a hot iron in my hand. My senior, 'Doreen' Gilliam, 'caught' me sleeping and yanked my head off the board. She ordered me to run laps and assigned me a condition of 'Doubt.' A condition of 'Doubt' required 15 hours of 'amends work'. This additional work had to be performed during my sleep and meal time. Until I completed my amends work, I was ordered not to communicate with anyone. I ate lunch alone. Finally, I spoke up, telling them I had enough. I was sent to the Commanding messenger, and she assigned me one month in the galley, washing pots and pans. I washed pots and pans for one month and went back into the EPF.

EPF was like prison. I had to say 'sir' to everyone and was generally allowed 15 minutes for meals. They would not let me out of the EPF until I proved myself. I was totally brainwashed to receive and take orders. I was paid $2.90 per week for this work.

While in EPF I never heard from my parents, no phone calls or letters. Aboard the ship, I received a Telex from Peter Albert, who was the Continental Justice Chief, FOLO. The Telex informed me my father had been declared an SP (Suppressive Person). They said he was a 'plant,' a spy within Scientology. I began crying and asked to leave, telling them I could convince my father to return to Scientology.

Dede Riesdorf, the 'Super Cargo' of our 'org', would not permit me to leave. I explained I wanted to leave and reunite with my mom and dad, but she would not permit this. She told me to 'disconnect' from my parents because my parents were SP's. Disconnection meant no more communication with my parents. They told me my parents would not make it in the world, but that I would make it in the world.

Tony Armstrong, the commanding officer, assigned me a 'condition of Doubt' and ordered me back on the EPF. She said since I wished to leave I had to return to the EPF. I was automatically assigned 15 'hours of amends' due to the 'condition of Doubt.' I returned to the 6:00 am midnight schedule, again, occasionally working twenty-four hours a day. Approximately one month after, I was reassigned to 'Training Routines' (TR).

During the Training Routines, myself and two other practiced carrying messages to LRH. We had to listen to a message, repeat it in the same tone, and practice salutes.

'Ghosting' was on-the-job training where I learned how to serve LRH. I followed another messenger around and observed her carry his hat, light his cigarettes, carry his ashtray, and prepare his toiletries. Eventually, I performed those duties.

As his servant I would sit outside his room and help him out of bed when he called 'messenger.' I responded by assisting him out of bed, lighting his cigarette, running his shower, preparing his toiletries and helping him dress. After that I ran to his office to check it, hoping it passed white glove inspection. He frequently exploded if he found dust or dirt or smelled soap in his clothes. That is why we used 13 buckets to rinse.

I then would set up LRH's auditing room; he audited himself. Then I prepared a snack for him. LRH would go into auditing for several hours. Later, I delivered messages to LRH. I carried messages between Hubbard and the Telex machines on the Apollo, which were connected to Scientology Organizations on land. The messages were also sent via Telex to RONY when someone went ashore.

While on the Apollo, I observed numerous punishments meted out for many minor infractions or mistakes made in connection with Hubbard's very strict and bizarre policies. On a number of occasions, I saw people placed in the 'chain lockers' of the boat on direct orders of Hubbard. These lockers were small, smelly holes, covered by grates where the chain for the anchor was stored. I saw one boy held in there for 30 nights, crying and begging to be released. He was only allowed out to clean the bilges where the sewer and refuse of the ship collected. I believe his 'crimes' were taking or using a musical instrument, I believe a flute, of someone else without permission. I also saw a young boy and a young girl thrown in the chain lockers at separate times because of romantic involvements they had with other people. Hubbard fanatically prohibited involvement between the sexes, or out-2D, as it is called in Scientoloy. Married persons were allowed to see each other but it was strictly controlled.

LRH told me he was selling the ship and moving to a land base. The boat was sold sometime during October 1975. Approximately 500 people moved to Daytona Beach. We rented several hotels in Daytona. After several months we moved to the Fort Harrison in Clearwater. At first, LRH called it the United Churches. I heard LRH scheme this cover. He said we would be called United Churches, although no other real churches were involved. Finally, Mayor Cazares discovered that United Churches was a cover name for Scientology.

I discovered this scheme by reading public relations office papers. These papers were prepared by the public relations office, and the papers explained the United Church front. A public relations officer was a person who dealt with the public.

At Fort Harrison, security guards were stationed outside to prevent people from 'blowing'. To 'blow' meant to leave Scientology. People were not allowed to just leave Scientology. Approximately 30 to 40 people tried to escape. These people were caught and placed in the RPF (Rehabilitation Project Force). The RPF was a Scientology 'concentration camp', where people who were 'security threats' were kept under guard. The RPF at Fort Harrison was in a storage area.

Some people were allowed to 'leave' after being 'security checked', searched, and after having their Scientology-related books and materials confiscated, even if they had paid for them. These people also had to sign documents pertaining to their 'crimes' and sign various documents prepared by the Guardian's Office, the 'GO'. The GO was the secret police arm of Scientology.

At Fort Harrison I remained LRH's personal messenger. I observed LRH control the operation of Scientology in the various 'orgs' worldwide from Fort Harrison. I coded and decoded messages to and directly from Hubbard. Hubbard used approximately 15 codes at this time to conceal his operations, programs and policies, which he disseminated worldwide. I personally delivered messages concerning Operation Snowhite, Operation Freakout, Operation Goldmine, and other Scientology secret and illegal operations. I also filed these operations in Hubbard's personal filing cabinet, and later in filing cabinets of the GO.

All Telex communications were processed through his messengers. These Telexes were coded and sent to: Los Angeles, United States Guardian's Office, Folo, RONY, Africa, Henning Heldt, Arthur Maren, Jane Kember and other individuals and locations. Telexes were sent to all Guardian Offices worldwide. One Telex from LRH questioned Mayor Cazares' educational background. He discovered this information through a private investigator.

LRH declared people Suppressive Persons if they escaped from Scientology. He sent Telexes to the Guardian's Office listing the SP's. I have seen names of people declared SP's by LRH.

In February, 1976 Hubbard left for New York. I performed the same duties of coding and decoding messages for the Guardian's Office. I received many messages from Hubbard. When Hubbard was in La Qunita, California, I continued to code and decode messages from Hubbard to the Guardian's Office seven days a week until August 1977.

In August 1977 I refused to perform a certain order and was sent to the galley, where I performed menial labor until I emotionally broke apart and was sent to the Rehabilitation Project Force (RPF) on the direct orders of Hubbard.

In the RPF you were labeled 'treasonous' and force to work 18 hours a day, 7 days a week, and oftentimes received only 'rice and beans' and water. During this time I personally observed a person chained to pipes in the boiler room in the Fort Harrison building for a period of weeks. In the RPF I saw people screaming and crying during the constant 'auditing' on the E-meter. The E-meter is a lie detector used during auditing. RPF prisoners were forced to undergo 'auditing' in order to 'audit out' their evil purposes against Hubbard and Scientology. I cried virtually the whole time I was in the RPF.

Finally, in November 1977 I decided I had to escape. At approximately 4:30 a.m. I stole the keys from a guard who was sleeping at the door to the storage area where we slept. I crawled through an air duct on my stomach, where I observed the telephone in the lobby. I saw no one, ran to the telephone, and called my father and told him of the situation. He told me he would send my uncle to come and get me and take me to Fort Lauderdale. I convinced the officers in the RPF that my uncle was a VIP for the Miami Dolphins (which was not true), and that if they refused his request to visit, that might cause bad public relations. Finally, with my uncle's assistance, I escaped and flew back to Las Vegas.

Approximately two weeks after I returned to Las Vegas, two of Hubbards's agents came to my house and told me that Hubbard wanted to see me. I told them I would never return. They then asked if I would go for a cup of coffee with them. After a short while I agreed to have coffee. I got in the car, in the front seat, and sat between the two agents. After driving a few minutes, I noticed we were driving to the highway, and I asked where we were going. They told me I was being taken to Los Angeles to see Hubbard.

In Los Angeles I was locked in a room and forced to undergo a 'security check' on the E-meter. I was very scared and crying, and told them I had a family reunion to go to during the Holidays. I told them I had relatives on the police department in Las Vegas, and that I would come back after the Holidays. I convinced them to release me, and I returned home by bus. For weeks after I arrived home, they constantly called me to find out when I would return. I said Never!

I was in Scientology from the age of 13 to the age of 18. I received at some times approximately $2.50 a week pay, and at other times approximately $17.50 a week. I received no education, and in fact phony classrooms were set up in Florida to demonstrate to educational officials of Clearwater from knowing we were living and sleeping on the floor in hallways and storage areas, sometimes without mattresses.

The Organization currently has approximately $800.00 of my personal property. When I demanded it be returned to me, they sent me a bill for the amount of $58,000, which I returned to them, and they thereafter sent me a 'corrected' bill for $36,005.70, which I have attached to this statement.

In December 1979, after a class action suit was brought by former members of Scientology, I received an 'Amnesty Proclamation', which I have also attached. It is possible that some former members of Scientology may be deceived by this Amnesty and return to Scientology.

I feel frightened for them because I know what it is like inside Scientology. I just hope the public learns what Hubbard is really doing.

The facts, of which I have personal knowledge, set forth in the foregoing affidavit are true. Facts of which I do not have personal knowledge, I believe to be true based on my best information and belief. The dates stated herein cover many years and represent my best memory, but I am not precisely certain of their accuracy.

Signed under the pain and penalties of perjury this day of January 25, 1980.

Tonja C. Burden of Las Vegas, Nevada

Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 24, 2011, 10:19:42 AM
This is a google translation of an article published in German.

Mark Stuck Brocks fight against Scientology

Der Burlafinger Scientology-Aussteiger Markus Stuckenbrock kämpft gegen die Methoden der Sekte und macht sie für den frühen Tod seines Bruders verantwortlich. von Oliver Helmstädter The Burlafingen-Scientologist Mark Stuckenbrock fighting against the methods of the sect, making them the early death of his brother's responsible for. Helmstädter by Oliver

The ex-scientologist Markus Stuckenbrock from Burlafingen fights against the cult's methods and holds it responsible for his brother's early death.

By Oliver Helmstädter

Markus Stuckenbrock doesn't always succeed in just walking past when he sees the colorful info-table set up by Scientology between the streets Hirschstraße and Bahnhofsstraße in Ulm. He [says he] knew all too well from his own experience and that of his family what harm the books and psychological tests that are offered can cause: Pychological dependence through different forms of manipulation as well as the social and financial ruin. The former cult member considers the city administration to have a duty to act against such info-tables. However, it considers itself without any means to do this. An observation of the fight against a self-declared religion to which Stuckenbrock from Burlafingen has lost (almost) his entire family.

What is regularly offered to passersby in Ulm on saturdays is described by the annual report by the Office for Protection of the Constitution of Baden-Württemberg "methods of indoctrination" which served the purpose of "ideological reeducation". Sometimes the ex-scientologist is distributing material critical of Scientology near its table. "So that fewer people fall for this trap." He himself has already been in there. And his father is a scientologist to this day, as are his (half-)brothers. Markus Stuckenbrock (46 years old) left when he was 19, today he is married and has two daughters who are almost grown up. The contact to the brothers and his father is difficult. Being a renegade, he is despised and considered a traitor.

Allegedly his Brother was Locked Up Without Sufficient Help

In addition to that, Stuckenbrock accuses Scientology of being responsible for his brother's early death three years ago. He had invested a lot of time and money in order to investigate the circumstances of his death [in proximity of where it took place]. Allegedly his brother Uwe Stuckenbrock - whose career in the cult began in Ulm, when he fell ill with multiple sclerosis - had been locked up in a rehabilitation center operated by Scientology without sufficient medical treatment. Until he died in October 2008. "It was a labor camp [with the goal of making people conform], in which members who were not toeing the line or supposedly badly producing staff members were meant to be brought back onto the right path."
Markus Stuckenbrock talks about a "horrible history of suffering in a fanatical, totalitarian organization", which began in Ulm. According to this account, in 1998 Uwe fled from the international headquarters near Hemet in California on a motrocycle, but was very quickly recovered by security personnel. Scientology had prevented his brother from informing his mother and family about his illness. According to this account, his brother, who formerly was a member of the leading cadre, had not fitted into the self-conception of the psycho-cult anymore and had been put offside for that reason.
This is because perfectly trained scientologists can't fall ill anymore, as Jürgen Keltsch of the Bavarian Ministry of the Interior explains in a publication. According to this, cult founder L. Ron Hubbard claimed to be able to create a new and better kind of human - the so-called "Homo Novus". In this world there is no place for people who are chronically ill such as Uwe Stuckenbrock or disabled persons. Markus Stuckenbrock, the ex-scientologist, managed to enter a different world: For 20 years now, he has been working with disabled people as a remedial therapist. Scientology, which, according to the report by the OPC, operates its own intelligence agency ("Office of Special Affairs") which is tasked with investigating critics and opponents and -depending on the situation- to take repressive measures against them, strictly denies all the accusations. From its point of view, this is a reflection of "the paranoia of a system which sends out its agents to commit campaigns of character assassination against the Scientology Church in Germany." Stuckenbrock waited in vain for a medical expert opinion which had apparently been promised to him by a scientologist after the appearance on the talk show "Markus Lanz". Critics and ex-scientologists like Stuckenbrock in particular are described by Scientology as "criminals" and are stigmatized as "suppressive persons" against which battle has to be waged, they are insulted at the lowest possible level, degraded and at times sued as well. So says the report by the OPC. Scientology on the other hand has been suspicious for years of a campaign of diffamation by the members of the OPC. "Lies as a Matter of Policy" is the allegation that is raised by Scientology on their own website about its "truths" and the OPC.
Stuckenbrock [says he] had received no reaction by Scientology on his public criticism of the methods and goals of Scientology, except for a flood of advertisement for Hubbard. He intends to continue with the fight against Scientology. Lawyers in the United Stated had been retained since a long time.
According to the newsmagazine Spiegel, the FBI has been investigating Scientology "for quite some time now". For example, in December 2009, the authority had interviewed ex-scientologists for days. Among other allegations, the FBI was checking into claims of human trafficking and slave labor. Stuckenbrock hopes that the death of his brother is a part of the FBI investigations.
And so Markus Stuckenbrock at least wants to hamper the activities of the Scientology branch in Ulm which is called a "mission" and one way to try this was by a letter directed to the Mayor Ivo Gönner, in which he explained how the table in the pedestrian area might be prevented. Several german courts had decided that Scientology was an economic corporation, so that an information table could be prevented by issuing high fees. The city administration of Ulm considers itself powerless [in this regard] as [Scientology] was not an illegal organization.
Markus Stuckenbrock can hardly bear this. In weak moments people were very receptive for the promises of help. As were his parents in the 1970s. They were looking for support when their youngest son died after an operation. Now his father had been blinded by the psycho-methods: He didn't realize that he had lost even more children because of the cult.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 01, 2011, 07:20:57 AM
                                      Ethics Section


Cc: Carly Crutchfield
Cc:  Steve Fagan/Len Collins
Cc:  A 0 Ethics secton
Cc: Peter Crutchfield
Cc: Kerrie Crutchfield

                                        KNOWLEDGE REPORT

Carly Crutchfield

Carly Crutchfield Scientology Ethics Report

Carly and I have been friends for around 3 years and over the years I have observed some incidents.

"Carly desperately wanted a new Gucci watch.  She was going on a date on the Saturday night, and really wanted the watch for the occasion.  Carly was suggesting all Weekend how she had the money in the bank, but had forgot to get the cash out on the Friday before the banks closed.  She ws really upset and disappointed about it, and was thinking of ways to obtain the money, because it would only be a weekend loan, as she could access her ... funds on the next Monday.  I was quite reluctant to lend her the money because of past incidences with Carly and money, but I felt sorry for her and I believed her and wanted the date to be perfect, so I financed the $3095- Gucci watch for Carly under the agreement and understanding, that she would pay me on the following Monday.  Monday came with all manner of excuses why she couldn't get the money.  This went on and on, he main one being "I cant access the funds, its in an overseas bank account," so on and so forth.

I was very patient with the delayed repayment, until October, when I asked Carly if she could pay me at least some money, as I was going away the next morning unexpectedly, and needed to organise some money for my farther.  Carly snapped at me, which resulted in us having a dispute.  I eventually negotiated with Carly to leave $1000- of the outstanding money, at the reception of Princeton Property for my farther to collect.

The agreement was Dad would be at Princeton at midday to personally pick up the $1000-.

My Farther arrived at Princeton where there was no sign of the money at reception.  Dad asked to see Carly.  Carly spoke to Dad saying "sorry,  I have been really busy and haven't had time to go to the bank, I have a little bit of cash in my wallet will that do?'' Dad was suspicious this situation, and repled by saying "I need the $1000- I have promised to pay someone else that money today", Dad suggested he would wait at Princeton whilst Carly go to the bank.  Carly suggested to come back at 2pm, So Dad left and came back a 2pm as agreered and yet again Carly nor the money was there.  My dad had to wait another 20 min before Carly was to return with the $1000- effectively a good half as day of my Dads time.  My dad suggested to me that he was sure that Carly was trying to get away with not paying the money by offering him what she had I her purse, so that's why my Dad made up the excuse that he had to pay someone else the $1000-

After returning  from my holidays middle October, Carly agrees to 'Defiantly!' pay me the rest of the money by middle November,(4 weeks time) yet again I was very patient of her proposal, and believed she would honour her commitment.

The Middle November comes and there was no mention of the money.

I suggested  that she could at least try up till November to make some kind of an effort to pay me back, say $20 or $50 every now and then, Carly agreed to this arrangement but once again failed to honour this agreement, not even with one payment.  I was always the one that had to originate the conversation and ask for the money.  This was very uncomfortable for me as we were friends.

It Is now late December and I haven't heard from Carly.  With so many broken agreements previously, I have disconnected from Carly.

Carly and I went on a Snow trip around 2 winters ago.  I pre payed for the trip on my credit card, (which was always the case because Carly doesn't have a credit card)  About 3 months after we returned from the trip, Carly said she had electronically transferred the money into my account.  It didn't show up in my account, despite Carly saying it was transferred from her account.  I forwarded Carly a copy of my bank statement to show it wasn't transferred into my bank account.  Since then I have asked Carly on numerous occasions over the past 2 years for this money with no result.  I am now past the point of asking for it again, I feel embarrassed having to ask for my own money.

There was an outstanding bill from AGL in both our names which I payed for in November 2003 I photocopied the bill and put it in Carly's in box, I have asked Carly for her share of the bill on many different occasions, and yet again she hasn't payed me.

Carly shared an apartment with me from September 5th to November 22nd 2003.  Carlys share of the rent was $325 a week and a bond, with an agreement to pay for half the bills.  Carly owes 12 weeks rent a total of $3900- Bond total of $650- plus bills which total around $350- Not one cent has been payed to the owner of the property, whom is also my boyfriend.  David is not a scientologist, but is aware that Carly is.

David and myself have asked Carly on numerous occasions to make payments.  Carly would say yes I will next week or something along that line, even asking for David's bank account details which were forwarded to Carly.  After no money was deposited in the bank, a couple of weeks later David had a meeting with his bank manager and needed the funds to be deposited  in the account and set a deadline with Carly as off Wednesday 12th November and Carly was to call David and tell him that she has deposited the money all this information was written out for Carly in a nice card.  The agreered  date arrived and no phone call was made to David to let him know the money was Not deposited.  A couple of weeks after this David made a phone call to Carly to set yet again another date for the money to be payed Carly found it hard to agree to a date and said some time early December and that she would take responsibility for this and pay you.  December Passed and David has not received one phone call from Carly

Carly has since left the premises still with not honouring her financial obligation.  This has left David in an awkward  situation not only in terms of the rent but also the bond as the property was not left in the state Carly received it.

She engaged an un supervised contract cleaner which resulted in a poor and unacceptable job Carly did not return to the premises to inspect the finished product.  David completed the job himself, which then identified severe scratching on her bedroom timber floor and paint marks on several walls.  The remote control buzzer for the car park entry was returned in a damaged state and requires a new one.

Carly was given the privilege of using the on site store room as an art studio, David didn't mind if there was paint dropped around, this privileged was abused with murals been painted on the wall and paint recklessly dropped on the floor David also received letters from the body corporate of paint been dropped in the common areas and using her car space as a storage for her art works and containers.  We forwarded these letters on to Carly and no action was taken and this is embarrassing for David as he is a member of the body corporate. Carly suggested to David that she felt that she shouldn't have to pay the bond as she has moved out.

Carly made a point of telling me that she had organised someone to come and clean the store room in a couple of days and this never happened I didn't hear from Carly again regarding this matter.

This has left David with no choice to reluctantly issue a solicitors letter to Carly to retrieve the money and will proceed to court if necessary.

Carly and I had bought a number of items together.  When she moved out she made a list of these items and their cost.  Carly decided to keep certain items for example, 4 chairs and a washing machine.  Other items bought jointly for example, Vacuum, Dvd player, cushions and a dinner set were kept by myself.  All the items Carly took were priced at there original market value, whilst the items Carly was not taking were priced higher then their original price.  Example the vacuum was $99- Carly repriced it at $200- Dvd $100, Carly repriced it--at $20O.  Also-the dinner set was $50-and Carly repriced it at $100, the cushions were $37 and Carlys price was $50 each.  Carly calculated that I actually owed her money.  I queried Carly about this and she assured me that the prices were correct.  Still unsure about this, I checked the prices in the places of purchase, and still have the transaction details on my Credit Card statements, to confirm her over pricing.

Carly and I Hired a fitness machine together.  It was hired under my name because I was the only one with a credit card.  Payment on the running machine had to be made every 3 months.  We both made the first payment, when the 3 months expired, there was to be another payment made.  I made my half of the payment and Carly was to pay her share of the payment.  I asked Carly about 10 different occasions to make her next payment, as they were calling me everyday asking for the money.  Informing them it was Carlys responsibility, I forwarded  them Carlys mobile.  The company called and called her to make the payment, she sent them a fax stating 'she agreered  to make the payment in 48 hours, she never showed up.  Carly asked me if I could get the money and drop it in, or make a credit card payment over the phone on her behalf, and Carly would pay me that night.  With all the bills already outstanding I was not willing to fork out more money for Carly.

The fitness company became fed up with Carlys empty promises not only had they not been payed but it was costing them money in administration costs, eg letters and phone calls they were left with no choice but to issue me a solicitors letter to retrieve the funds, they called me to inform me of this action they were about to take, I was embarrassed of the situation, especially after developing a relationship with this company.  To stop this from going to court and damaging my reputation I instructed them to come and pick up the running machine, and therefore stop legal action.

I lost my $100 holing deposit on the running machine and lucky I wasn't taken to court for this as it would have been very expensive for me.

I told Carly I lost the $100 because her half of the payment was never made and  she needed to forward me the money, she said she gave me $50- from the start (which I don't recall but brushed it off and said well just give me $50- then)  She agreered to pay me the $50- this was a couple of months ago and Carly has not forwarded  me any money.

Carly borrowed a new pair of shoes of mine, I asked her to please return them.  Which she did, they were returned in a bad state. They both need reheeling and had scratches and tears on them, I was quite shocked that she would give them back to me in such condition.

Carly and I were involved in a car accident about 2 years ago, a Boral truck hit us very lightly on the passanger side door where Carly was sitting.  Carly is lodging an insurance claim as a result of the accident suggesting that she knocked her head on the car and something wrong with her hip and has been getting headaches ever since, and has been unwell.  I am not exactly sure of her specific claims or what she is telling the doctors and layers is wrong with her, but Its looking like an insurance payout of around $150k.

She has been to the doctor and lawyer several times to document this case over the past 2 years.  Carly suggested that I should have gone to the doctor as well to make some money, it is easy.  I never pulled ethics in on Carly and I should have.

I was the driver of the car at the time when this accident occurred.  Nothing at all happened to Carly or myseltl! It was such a minor bump from the truck.  With all the recent events involving Carly it made me re asses the accident situation and I believe Carly is making a fraudulent claim.  The worst part about this is I have been implicated in the proceedings  by falsifying information in accordance with Carls claim.  I now need to take responsibility for this incident.

There was an incident about 2 years ago when Carly and I were running a cleaning company together.  She was well behind in her rent payments.  She was living at Buckland St Alexandria.  Carly asked me if I could forward her $2500 till the next day to get her out of trouble with her landlord, as he was about to proceed in legal action.  Carly told me that 2 people were moving in the next day and were going to pay Carly the sum of$2500.  At the time I didn't have any money, and I thought of ways to help Carly.  I called my Aunty and she agreed to lend me the money for 24 hours.  The next day the people didn't  move in, and no money was given to Carly.  She told me that she couldn't repay me the money.  Carly then calculated 'bills and rent' of $2500 (we shared an office space together).  She trapped me in this situation, which meant I couldn't pay back my Aunty.  It was agreered  between my Aunty and myself that the loan was only overnight.  She was very upset with Carly and worse, but myself still, this caused a dispute in my family.  I still to this day know I didn't owe Carly that much money, and believe she took advantage of me, as this behaviour has been repeated.

The landlord must not of received the $2500 that I gave Carly as moved out soon after and he proceeded  in taking her to court to retrieve outstanding funds.

Click to view - Carly Crutchfield Scientology Report page 5

I know that Carly is in a lot of debt with a previous business venture, which she is struggling to pay off.  It seams odd to me that she takes on other financial debts for example, new car, extravagant shopping, and high quality rental properties.  All this expendere is obversely well beyond her means. If she couldn't  afford the watch why didn't she offer to give it back to me.  It appears that Carly is using other people to fund her extravagance lifestyle, example David and myself.  And has taken no responsibility for this debt and doesn't care about the implications it has on other people.

All this is true


This report was CC to Kerry and Peter Crutchfield, Carly's parents and Steve Fagan and Len Collins who were her employers at Princeton.  All are high ranking Scientologists and we were advised none took action.

This report was written in Dec 2003, when according to Carly Crutchfield, she was already a multi-millionaire property developer.  In fact, she was struggling to repay debts from her last failed business and was working in administration.  She did not even have a credit card.

Can you see a disturbing pattern of behaviour here that has simply escalated over the years?

CCE have an unredacted copy of the document that includes the name of the author.  We prefer to release documents in their original form, but the concern is that the author of the report would receive undue attention per the Scientology policy of "always attack, never defend".  As this site is all about Carly Crutchfield, we have redacted the author's name so that discussion can concentrate on Carly Crutchfield's behaviour.

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Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 04, 2011, 11:28:25 PM
                      Neo vs The Matrix (My Scientology story)

I listened to the doctors words and felt like time stood still. It became irrelevant. The world came crashing in to the small amount of space I was able to hold. You can't really prepare for the experience of having your world turn upside down. The more one wants for it to be another way, then the more upside down it will probably turn out when such destabilising news arrives. I know I didn't want, or expect this.

"Your x-ray results are in. The specialist has made a preliminary analysis and given me his initial results. The x-rays themselves aren't available just yet."

I was in my doctors room, seated in the middle. I listened as he explained the results of my x-ray from the previous day. It was less than 24 hours since the test. I had been called at work several hours earlier and told I needed to come and see the doctor as soon as possible. I had had a double appointment put aside for me. I had spent those few hours dwelling on what possible bad news may await me. Mine was the mind of an active worrier.

"I'm afraid I have some bad news for you."

My world fell apart at that point. Things changed drastically once I heard those words. I didn't know what he was going to tell me, but it couldn't be good. I had been quite ill for the past three months. I had started to cough at work one day. I believe I picked up a bug from another worker. I couldn't shake the cough. Every day, for three months. My throat was hoarse. People were suspecting me of playing for sympathy. Twice during that time I came down with the flu so bad I thought I had pneumonia, or something else serious. Each time I was pumped full of antibiotics, and told to rest for a few days. After the second time one doctor I saw told me to 'get over it' and go back to work.

After seven weeks of this I eventually convinced my doctor that something was not right. I was not getting better. I couldn't stop coughing. He sent me to get an x-ray.

"According to the report I have here, you have what looks to be a tumour in your right lung. A fist sized tumour. The specialist believes you may have lymphoma".

I didn't know what that was, but my doctor explained it to me. I was told that I would need Chemotherapy to treat it. However, these were only preliminary findings, and much testing was still to come.

I had already had quite a bit of time off from work, and this wasn't about to change. In fact it got worse. I had so many tests done. CAT scans, PET scans, dozens of blood tests, x-rays. I saw a specialist cancer doctor at the Alfred Hospital in Melbourne. He performed a biopsy to determine exactly what we were dealing with. The results from this showed that it was not lymphoma. Good news, and bad news, it seems. No, I had cancer. It would require surgery. The specialist informed me that at best some of my right lung would need to be removed. He couldn't tell how much. I still had more tests to go before the operation could be booked in. At least there wouldn't be Chemotherapy.

By this stage I knew I had cancer. My boss knew also, but still decided to demote me at work for being a 'part-time production manager'. This statement stung for quite some time.

Once the specialists knew exactly what they were dealing with they booked me in for an operation. It was to be the next day. I had been bumped to the top of the list.

The last thing I remember seeing was the bright light of the operating room as the Anesthetist did his job. I was out for over 10 hours. Maybe more, I no longer remember. Amongst all the grogginess there is one thing I do recall. Being told they had to remove all of my right lung. The morphine took the edge of the bad news.

This was the beginning of my Scientology experience, because this is what put me in the frame of mind where I felt I needed what Scientology was offering. I had encountered Scientology several years earlier. I was at a 'Mind Body Spirit' festival. I think I was hoping that something would just jump out at me that would answer all the uncertainties I felt about life. Nothing did. I looked into the eyes of all the people around me and felt that they were no more certain of life and its many variables as I was. The only difference being that many of them were making a living from the charade. Good for them, I guess.

It was at this particular festival (more of a sales convention for things New Age) in Melbourne that I first encountered Scientology. As I walked past a stall someone asked me if I wanted to learn more about the mind. Sure, why not, I thought. Mine is quite fucked up, and in need of fine tuning, perhaps they can help. He sat me down and showed me a picture book explaining 'how the mind works'. "Is he for real?" I thought as he showed me a picture of someone thinking of a cat. "I'm not in kindergarten anymore." I got up part way through his explanation and walked away.

That would have been at least five years earlier. I had thought very little about Scientology since then. On occasion I would see media reports and think only that it was started by a science fiction writer. This said it all to me.

(to be continued)

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 04, 2011, 11:30:33 PM
Part 2

After I got out of hospital, I was out of action for quite some time. I was doped up quite a lot on pain killers prescribed to me by the hospital. Within two weeks of leaving I noticed my liver felt like a solid brick. I would just lie on the couch for most of the day, holding my right side. I was taking the painkillers as told to, but started to question whether I even needed them. I thought I did. But my liver was telling me to stop. I weened myself off them over the next two weeks. This was an indication of my mental strength. To me this whole episode had been more of a speed hump on the road of life. It almost totaled my car, but I had just gotten it back from the mechanics, and felt like getting back out on the road again.

I had no idea what the future held for me. I was off work. I wouldn't be going back for some time. I didn't really want to go back. I could get welfare, and retrain for something else.

During this period of indecision and uncertainty, I visited my local library, and noticed a copy of 'LRH - A Profile'. I was aware at that point that I knew many negatives about the man, but I didn't really know the whole story. I decided to read the book. It quite literally changed my life. But this is because I was working on the assumption that what was contained within it was based on factual information. This incident was probably basic on my chain of "the lies of LRH, and the Church of Scientology". I was extremely impressed about all that LRH had managed to achieve in his life. It actually reinvigorated me, as I felt it confirmed what I had long felt about us all, and our lives - that is we could achieve so much, if we knew how, and really tried.

I spent six weeks in early 2003 receiving Radiotherapy. Physically I was doing well, considering. I lived about a half hour walk from the hospital. Everyday for six weeks I walked to the hospital for the treatment, and then walked home again. The Radiotherapy treatment involved my lying on a flat bed (connected to a machine), which had a very large device that went out from the side of it, and over the top of me. Shaped like a question mark. For me, it was isolated to point radiation onto my chest. The operation took all of my lung, but some cancer was still in an area they couldn't remove, as it would have meant I could no longer breathe. This would have presented a new set of problems!. So they used the Radiotherapy to zap the remainder of the cancer. The procedure took about ten minutes each time. Nothing painful to it, except what one mocks up from the fear of so much unknown about the whole experience. It doesn't take too long before one finds themselves going through the routine of it all.

What I noticed the most from the procedure was how it affected my stamina. It got to a point near the end of the six week treatment that I felt like I had come down with chronic fatigue syndrome. I have never had this, so I am only guessing as to what symptoms it actually does present. I was still walking to and from the hospital, albeit much slower. However. my days lasted for about six to eight hours. I slept the rest of the time. This state lasted about six weeks, and I felt it slowly lift again. Eventually, physically, I felt somewhat normal again. If someone with one lung can be considered normal.

It was over the next six months that things took a considerable turn for the worst. Physically I was doing really well. The system had looked after me, and provided for me. But there was no emotional or mental help. Perhaps I shunned it. I actually just don't recall whether I was offered counseling. I don't know if I would have been ready for it anyway. My religious upbringing left me with a similar view of non-religious counselors as Scientologists feel about Psychiatrists and Psychologists. I didn't consider them the evil of the world. I just didn't think they could help me, therefore I didn't look in that direction. So who knows, maybe the help was there and I rejected it. One way or another, it lead to me seeking the assistance of Scientology.

(to be continued)


Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 04, 2011, 11:31:34 PM
Part 3

"Now what do I do?" These were the first words I spoke to the receptionist when I entered the Melbourne Church of Scientology. I had just entered the building, and was met with a strange look of uncertainty. It took me back a little.

I had bought my own copy of Dianetics only a few days earlier. It was in the cheap section at my local bookshop. I was broke, but still trying to work out what had happened to me. I felt like my mind was a mess, and here was a book that explained how the mind worked. And having read the LRH Profile only months prior, I felt like this was 'meant to be'. So I bought the book and started reading it immediately. I got about a third of the way through it and was convinced that I had to have Dianetics auditing. I looked in the book for the address to the nearest place to me it was available. I walked to the train station and went into the city.

I hadn't thought through any more than that. I didn't know about Scientology, or how it related to Dianetics. I didn't know about the free personality tests. All I knew is that I wanted Dianetics auditing to get rid of my Reactive Mind.

It turns out that people don't body-route themselves into Scientology Orgs all that often, which probably explained the perplexed look I had just received.

My personality test showed that I was depressed. Dianetics can help me with that. Well, thats good I thought, as that is what I came here for. I was sold a few booklets from the Handbook, as well as the Dianetics Seminar Course. I was excited, as I was convinced my Reactive Mind would be handled for good. I didn't know I had a Reactive Mind until I read Dianetics, but that was neither here nor there. I could finally get rid of it. It was what had been causing me so many problems over the years. It felt good to finally have the reason why.

I had been in such a confused frame of mind since the cancer, and was so uncertain as to what the future held, that I was perfect fodder for Scientology. I knew nothing about them. I was trusting. I didn't feel the need to go researching them. And I felt like there was something wrong with me, and they offered me a solution. It felt like it was in my interests to accept their help. So I did.

I started on my Dianetics Seminar Course, and received my first session within three days. It worked on me like they said it would. I felt the experience that I went back to. The emotions were real to me. I understood the concept of reliving as opposed to just remembering what had happened. And I wanted to get results. However, my life did not change as a result of the experience. But it seemed to have worked. All I would have to do is keep getting auditing until my Reactive Mind was gone. Logical, really!

(to be continued)


Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 05, 2011, 10:38:07 AM

I was sent to mace kingsley when I was 15 it was about 2001. I was there two weeks before being kicked out. In the time spent there I almost died from strep throat and a 105 degree fever, which at time the other students had to pack me down with snow outside in my underwear to get my temperature to drop. I was showing clear signs of serious infection and had to be snuck out by the MLO (she was an awesome lady that only worked there and didn't believe their ways, hence sneaking me out) to a clinic in near by reserve new mexico. I was only allowed 2 showers the one each day for the first two days I was there. I stayed in a cabin called "camp" that had windows on only one side the weather reached around 2 below to 14 below. It was in November. After two weeks and me causing such a ruckus I got kicked out, albequerque newspaper had apparently run an article using my name which helped with the closing of the ranch. Before I left I got about 50% of the "students" phone numbers and personal information and either wrote or called each parent on my list. My mother helped me. Soon after they were investigated I was getting calls from Mace Kingsley Ranch asking me why I would give up all that information to the Press and soon after that they were shut down. Come to find out one of their security gaurds who was notorious for beating any of the kids that got out of hand was wanted in a few states for felony home insurance fraud for buying and burning down homes. The one girl I can fully remember her name was Danielle (leaving out her last name for this but did recently post to someone inquiring in an e-mail. I've searched all over online for her, she is out of florida. First names I can give of students were...
Kristie (ATLANTA, 16 at the time)
Tim (NY, NY 17 at the time)
Jordan (CANADA 15 at the time)
ROMAN (CZECH 9 at the time)

The camp councler I remember was a guy named Sean he was 19 at the time.

I told everyone when I had arrived that I wouldn't be there longer than two weeks and they kicked me out.

While at "camp" we were only allowed cheese, tortillas, and water to eat and drink. If we were lucky we would have gotten a bagel.

Because of me, the press got involved and parents started calling Social Services as well did my parents.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 05, 2011, 12:34:30 PM
                                The Case of Mr. Raul Lopez

Raul Lopez become mentally impaired in an accident and received a $1.7 million settlement. Scientology zeroed in on this mentally impaired accident victim, separated him from his family and caregivers, and proceeded to systematically swindle Raul Lopez of the money that was intended to let him live out his shattered life with financial security.

The case of Raul Lopez is one of the most shocking examples of just how vicious Scientology's utter greed can be. How low does a group have to sink to swindle a mentally impaired accident victim out of his life savings?
This is as evil as it gets and Scientology did it:

The ostrich eggs should have been a tip-off. But Raul Lopez wasn't worried, even though he had paid $30,000 for two of them. The eggs were going to make him rich. After all, his lawyer, Brent Jones, whom he trusted more than his own mother, had convinced him. Jones came highly regarded as a member of the Church of Scientology, the Los Angeles- based church in which Lopez had invested his hope of getting cured of irreversible brain trauma resulting from an auto accident. Never mind that medical experts had concluded that little could be done about his nervous tremor and inability to reason and interact with others the way he did before a big-rig crossed the center line of a Ventura County highway and slammed head-on into his pickup truck in 1985.

Without exception, doctors advised him to adapt to his limitations and move on with his life. But that was before Lopez, 34, stumbled upon a Scientology booth at a Ventura County flea market. The Scientologists, he concluded, had what he wanted. "They were going to make me whole again," he recalls once believing, referring to the technology as well as the expensive training known as auditing that are the mainstays of Scientology's late founder, science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard.

According to attorneys Dan Leipold and Ford Greene, Lopez also had something the Scientologists wanted: $1.7 million that was their client's share of the court settlement stemming from the accident. As part of a potentially explosive case wending its way toward trial in Los Angeles superior court -- in which L.A. Police Commission President Gerald Chaleff is among the battery of lawyers representing the church - - Lopez's attorneys contend that the church and individuals associated with it swindled their brain-damaged client out of up to $1.3 million. "They picked him clean, and we have the documentation to prove it," Leipold says....

A number of gov’t agencies were pulled into this case, along with multiple CoS entities from LA to Florida to the Bahamas, as well as WISE and a gaggle of individual Scientologists. Both my husband and I gave testimony in this case - because we had done the bulk of our Scn services at the same Mission where Raul Lopez did his - Buenaventura Mission in Ventura, Calif. I can tell you that the Registrar at that Mission, Jim Hamre, is relentless - the accounts of his abuse of Raul that are described in the article linked above by J. Swift (and in court documents that I saw at the time) are completely believable to me, based on my own experience with Jim. Apparently CoS thought that these stories would be credible to a jury as well - the case was settled out of court - records sealed.

I remember the fracas at the Mission while this was going on. Raul had left and his lawsuit was pending while my husband & I were onlines there. We didn’t know who Raul was - didn’t learn his name nor the details of his experience with Scn until after we had left CoS. But we did know that the Mission was being sued. We were told that the suit was being funded by German SPs, who were trying to destroy Scientology.

The Mission Holders (Tom & Kathy Steiner) were desperately seeking money to fund this suit. Public Scns were regged ceaselessly. Big dogs from the LA Orgs would come out to the Mission so that T&K could plead their case, and Mission staff would stay up ALL NIGHT cleaning the Mission, putting out vases of flowers, etc. to make a good impression. I can remember seeing their small children sleeping on sofas or on the floor, while the exhausted parents scrubbed floors and toilets, etc. all night. This after a full day of auditing & running the Mission. At one point, they ripped up the worn carpeting, put down hardwood floors, painted the whole interior, etc. - all to convince the big-wig LA visitors that this Mission was thriving and deserved financial support in the lawsuit.

A number of times, when visiting dignitaries came, there was no one in the course room. Staff would go into the room, sit down at the tables and pretend to be students on course to create the impression that the Mission was busy. What a mess.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 06, 2011, 08:05:04 AM
                                 Plenty to see here

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 07, 2011, 09:51:57 AM
                                Zoe Woodcraft Declaration
This was posted on OCMB by Snow White recently. It is a very long read ( about 10 pages) so I have only posted the first part here.
I don't know if it answers some questions as I get confused about locations, but the story is universal.

Posted: Mon Nov 05, 2007 9:01 am Post subject: Zoe Woodcraft Declaration

I, Zoe Woodcraft declare as follows:

1. I am 16 years of age.

2. The statements herein are of my own personal knowledge and if called upon as a witness, I can testify competently thereto.

3. In 1986, when I was two years old, my parents and 15-year-old brother joined the Sea Organization at the Flag Land Base in Clearwater, Florida. My seven-year-old sister and myself were put into the care of the Cadet Organization at this time. My family and I lived at a building on U.S. Highway 19 called the "QI" which was an acronym for Quality Inn. This building was once a Quality Inn hotel. The cadet organization was located there.

4. The room we were assigned to live in was very small, approximately 12'X 20'. It was one room and one bath; very shabby, infested with cockroaches and smelling of mold. All five of us were in this room so it was very cramped and nearly unlivable.

5. My parents were shocked when we were first shown these living quarters. When they had been recruited to come into the Sea Organization to work for Flag they had been promised a new, two bedroom apartment in the Hacienda Garden complex; that we children would go to private school and that they would get one day off every two weeks. We soon found out none of this was true.

6. After about a year we returned to England to take care of our visas. I remember being in England and playing with a cousin and not wanting to return to Florida and our horrible living conditions.

7. I also remember my father being suddenly sent away and I had no idea when he might return. This frightened me, as I feared I would never see him again. I was told he had been sent to the ship but no one could tell me when he would return. He did return after 6 months.

8. We lived in Florida for about two years and then my mother was transferred to Los Angeles.

9. In Los Angeles I was placed in the "CEO" which stood for the "cadet estates organization." This was a building located next to Celebrity Center International. This is where I lived, by myself, for the next two years. My parents and brother were placed in adult living quarters and my older sister into the Cadet Org down the street. This building housed only younger children. We did not live with our parents, but were assigned to the care of "nannies."

10. Eventually my father had to take a leave of absence from the Sea Org to further take care of visa problems. He rented an apartment at this point and our family moved in. He then began working for a company owned by a Scientologist. He was supposed to work in this company for one year in order for our family members to obtain green cards. Technically, I lived in this apartment with my parents, however because both of my parents worked such long hours I would be taken to the CEO in the early morning and then picked up by my parents late in the evening. This was my basic schedule until I was six years old.

11. When I was six I was moved to what is called the "Int Ranch." This is a compound in Happy Valley, CA. We were told that this was a secret location and I was instructed not to tell my father where it was as he and my mother were now divorced and my father was no longer in the Sea Org.

12. I was placed in a dorm that was acceptable; i.e. nice carpet, neat etc. However, neither of my parents lived on premises and there was a sixteen year-old boy named Sterling Thompson who was in charge of about twenty of us younger children, known as "pre-cadets." All together there was a staff of about six or eight adults who ran the compound and about one hundred children living there.

13. My schedule at the ranch was: wake up at 7:00 a.m., take one half hour to get dressed for the day then go to breakfast. Meals were highly regulated. We were assigned seats and each table had a "table captain" who made sure the assigned steward brought our food from the kitchen to the table. It was placed on the table and we served ourselves. Afterward we cleaned our own tables. We had half an hour to eat.

14. After breakfast we worked, dumping trash, mopping floors, sweeping etc. We were assigned cleaning stations throughout the compound. All our work was supervised by Sterling. We worked for about 20 minutes.

15. We then went to school for four hours with one fifteen minute break. Often, the school schedule was changed. Sometimes we did four hours in the morning and two at night, after working in the afternoon, and sometimes we did six hours straight.

16. Most of what I studied was Scientology materials. I remember doing the Basic Study Manual when I was six or seven years old and it was very difficult for me. This is a course geared for adults. When I did not score well on the final test, the instructor first told me to redo sections of the course and then told me to redo the entire course. I then had to start all over on this course. The only other subjects studied were reading and math.

17. After school, we had half an hour for lunch, and then we lined up and did group drills. We did "left/right/left marching, chanting of Scientology doctrines, and relay races to increase our "particle flow" so we could work faster. Then we received our work assignments for the afternoon.

18. The work consisted of such things as collecting rocks from a stream, putting them in a wheelbarrow and taking them to where a stone wall was being built; raking the football field after it had been mowed; and weeding. Most of the time we pulled weeds as the appearance of the compound was very important. We were often told how lucky we were to be allowed to live here. We worked all afternoon from lunch to dinner.

19. Before dinner, we showered. After dinner, we went to study for two more hours.

20. One thing that occurred some months after I had been there was that one afternoon we were all gathered up and directed to go to a house that was for what we called the "big boys." This was the house that Justin Miscavige lived in with several other boys. It was a very nice place, much better than the dorms. They had art paintings on the wall, whereas in our dorms we were only allowed pictures of L. Ron Hubbard or the Apollo ship. They also had different colors on the walls and the bedding, whereas the dorms were in nautical colors: navy and gold. There was no house for the big girls. Older girls just lived in the dorms with us younger children.

21. The day we were taken to the big boys house we were told to stay inside. I was told by the adult watching us that what was happening was we had too many kids at the ranch and a health inspector had come to check on us. So, we were hiding until he was gone.

22. In describing my bedroom, I again state all bedrooms were done in dark colors. Bedspreads were navy with a gold Sea Org symbol imprinted on them. The curtains were navy; the carpet was blue. We had brown dressers upon which we were not allowed to place personal items or family photos. We were not allowed to hang any personal photos or pictures; only the LRH or Apollo pictures.

23. One of the courses I had to do soon after arriving was the "make the bed" course. I had to learn how to fold the sheet corners so the bed was perfectly tucked and no wrinkles on anything. The final drill was making a perfect bed in less than five minutes.

24. At the ranch we dressed in uniforms. These consisted of khaki shorts with a red t-shirt or polo shirt with the Sea Org emblem embroidered on it. We also had sweat pants and dress pants and a vest. We could not wear our own clothes ever while on the ranch with the exception of pajamas.

25. As far as free or play time, there was none. Every aspect of our time was scheduled and controlled. Sometimes in the summer we were given twenty-five minutes to swim but that is all.

26. At the ranch there is also a form of punishment called "pigs berthing." This is levied against those who had a dirty dorm or dorm area. The punishment varies in different cadet orgs, but in this one offenders had to spend the night in what was called "The big house." The big house was an abandoned building with rotting floorboards and broken windows filled with insects, rats and bats. I clearly recall two girls about nine years old who were forced to spend the night there and in the middle on the night they ran screaming and crying from the building. One of the girls afterward told me that they had been terrified by the bats and couldn't stand it anymore.

27. This ranch was hours away from normal civilization. In the year plus that I lived there we never went into town for a field trip; never went to a movie, shopping or anything. We were totally isolated. The only time I ever left was when I was allowed once to take a leave of absence to visit my father at Christmas.

28. At the age of seven I was also made an MAA. This is a person who watches out to make sure no one is slacking in his or her work and to write reports when other children are misbehaving. For example one incident I had to write up on myself was when I had snuck into a snack shack and taken a bite of someone's candy bar. Another boy was made to stand up in front of the group and list off things he had stolen, such as a pen from a teacher. He listed about thirty such incidents of having taken or borrowed things without asking. This was extremely humiliating for him - he was about ten years old - and the next day he was kicked off the ranch.

29. Every Friday night my mother came at about 2:00 in the morning to pick me up in a car. We would return to her housing about half hour away and I would visit her until 12:00 noon the next day. This was the extent of my time with her. On alternate weeks, when I was to visit my father, my mother arranged for a friend of hers to pick me up and take me to my father's house as my father was forbidden to come to the ranch. I would stay there with my dad over night until 10:30 a.m. then I would have to return to the ranch. I often asked to stay longer, but I was always refused permission. This often upset my father and me. I felt like I had spent a lot of my life saying goodbye to my father.

30. The last few weeks I was at the ranch, I learned my mother had been sent to New York on a mission. After she was gone about three weeks, I was sent to be with her.

31. I was now in Manhattan. Here, I lived in a room with my mother. There was a bunk bed and I slept on top and she on the bottom. This room was relatively clean and nice as my mother was an "Int Missionaire" which meant she was highly ranked and the other staff members were frightened of her authority.

32. My schedule here was to hang out all day with six or seven other kids also in the building. I did no schooling during the entire time I was in New York, which turned out to be eleven months. My mother once asked me if I wanted to go to public school, but I thought public school was horrible and "the enemy" as this is what I had been taught all my life. I told her I didn't want to go and she said ok. While in New York, I turned eight.

Follow the link to read much more -

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 21, 2011, 06:39:22 PM

Mylène Pillorget, french former scientologist 1/2 (fr/engl)

Testimony of Mylène Pillorget -Disconnection at it's worst
God, this is one of the most moving interview videos I have ever seen.

Testimony of Mylène Pillorget, who spent 21 years in the cult of scientology. On radio France Culture, 2008, by Sonia Kronlund. After she left she couldn't speak to her chidren. Mylène died in 2010. Her children didn't come at her funeral.

Here's part one and two, with english subtitles.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 31, 2011, 07:35:07 AM

                 Sound familiar ?

When I started in 2002, the mission I went to was usually empty in the courseroom. It was always a headache to find a twin. Usually they'd pull someone off post.

Then, in 2006, I started my Student Hat in the Academy. There were more people but it was hit and miss. Somedays was 60% capacity, but most were 25%. The Key to life room was always empty. All the auditing rooms were empty too. Depressing.

I remember walking through the building, listening to my own footsteps echo through the halls on my way to the Academy thinking, " Nobodyelse is doing this, why am I? "

The worst part was after course ended, Supervisors would ask us to write letters to people we didn't even know:

" What do I write, I don't know this person? ".
" Tell them about your wins ".
" Isn't this your job?"

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 02, 2011, 10:31:37 PM
             What is expected from you as a Life Long Scientologist

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 04, 2011, 07:47:00 AM
                                How I was fooled by Hubbard

Ever since my departure from the CofS I have been on the path of discovery.

First was the task to find out everything I could find out about the CofS that the CofS wasn't telling. Mindboggling. And without the internet, forget it. You could find some of it in libraries but it would take forever and you would not nearly get it all; in fact, only a fraction of the story.

Once possessed of the WHOLE story of Hubbard, Dn & Scn, discovery became 'How the hell was I so thoroughly fooled and bamboozled' to the point of denying to myself, even in the face of valid argument, that there could be any fault with the cult or its founder and my sacrificing of any kind of sensible financial, health, community, parental, spousal or personal lifestyle.

The simple fact in the beginning was I wanted to achieve a better level of living, to be more able, powerful, happy and successful in life. That included being freed from any bad feelings from past events or existing non-optimum conditions or disabilities.

After reading a book, doing a course and interacting with the folks at the center, I had observable gains, wins etc. and I began to BELIEVE.

Based on that crucial premise - BELIEF - I self-determinedly and with gusto fully entered a trap it would take me over 30 years to get out of - but thankfully I did.

I hope this information will be of help to others:

One indisputable fact about Hubbard can be stated: he was a writer. He capitalized on that ability to bring about the achievement of his goals as stated in the Admissions of L. Ron Hubbard here:

Reading the materials of Dn and Scn that Hubbard wrote could be very captivating and seem so much The Truth as if he really had done the research and walked the walk. There is a reason for this and it can be found in Hubbards' own words here:

In this article Hubbard explains how library research, i.e. reading books by others, laid the foundation for him to write on a subject and come off sounding believable and like an expert who really 'knows' the subject without ever actually having been there or done that. The article also shows how Hubbard was looking for ways to make more MONEY not write the best book people ever read:

(From the LRH article) "In Tacoma a few months ago, I heard a writer sighing that he was having a hell of a time getting plots. This acute writing disease had eaten deeply into his sleep and bankbook. It had made him so alert that he was ruined as a conversationalist, acting, as he did, like an idea sponge. Hanging on and hoping but knowing that no ideas could possibly come his way.

As usual, I injected my thoughts into his plight – a habit which is bad and thankless.

I said, “Here’s an idea. Why not go out and dig around in the old files at the library and the capitol at Olympia and find out everything you can on the subject of branding? There should be a lot of stories there.”

He raised one eye and leered, “What? Do all that work for a cent and a half a word?”

And just to drive the idea home, I might remark that one day I happened into the New York public library. Crossing the file room I slammed into a heavy bulk and ricocheted back to discover I had walked straight into Norvell Page and he into me.

I gaped. “Page!”

“Hubbard!” he whispered in awed tones.

Solemnly we shook each other by the hand.

CHORUS: Well, this is the first time I ever saw a writer in a library!

These two instances should serve to illustrate the fact that research does not rhyme with writer no matter what kind of mill you pound.

Research is a habit which is only acquired by sheer force of will. The easy thing to do is guess at the facts – so thinks the writer. When, as a matter of facts, the easy thing to do is go find the facts if you have to tear a town to pieces."

Any of you who have read Buckskin Brigades may have gotten the impression that Hubbard knew firsthand the geography, the Blackfeet Indians, the Hudsons' Bay Company and the independant trappers but he did not - it was all concocted BELIEVABLY from his library research.

So Hubbard DID do research - but it was in the library studying the actual work of others in the field of the mind and spirit. But as a writer, he was able to come off as BELIEVABLE. Another author, A. E. Van Vogt discovered this quality of BELIEVABLE here:

(From the A.E. Van Vogt article) "While in Ottawa, he (Van Vogt) took a course in writing at the Palmer Institute for Authorship. He discovered that he could write about the ocean that he had never seen and realized this had verisimilitude (having the appearance of truth). The moment he understood that, he knew he could write fiction. He wrote his first story and entered a contest in True Story magazine. He didn't win the contest but they sent him a check for $110. The story was published as "No One to Blame but Herself." He wrote more stories for them and eventually wrote one that earned him a year's salary. He went on to write not only confession stories, but also love stories and an occasional radio play. It was about this time that he met Mayne, his future wife.

His first science fiction story was inspired by John W. Campbell's Who Goes There? [August 1938 Astounding Science Fiction]. It later was adapted for film as The Thing From Outer Space. Campbell returned his first story, Vault of the Beast, for rewriting. His second story, Black Destroyer, made the cover of the July 1939 issue of Astounding Science Fiction and won first place in the reader voting for July. It was also patterned after Who Goes There?"

Interestingly enough, Van Vogt became a follower of Hubbard and obtained help with his own life from Dianetics but in later years left the fold. But the help he got from Dianetics was not due to any work by Hubbard - it was the plagiarized work of Freud that gave him benefit.

That was the bait in the trap - there was helpful knowledge there to be had, albeit the work of others with the profit going to Hubbard. More information on just how extensive was greed motivated plagiaristic fraud of Hubbard can be found here, An invaluable list of sources written up by Jon Atack:

You can also find that the meter and prepared list assessing was done as early as 1906 by Jung here:

As the years passed Hubbard found that people would get gains and then move on. He needed to keep people in his cult longer to get more money from them longer. He invented the OT levels; from the study of totalitarian systems he took heavy handed ethics practices to make people feel guilty and enslave them into doing his bidding, as well as secret police and terrorist activities of which the SS and KGB would be proud.

I sometimes wonder how many people caved on the formula "Find out who you really are?", propitiated to Hubbard and left their own valence, never to return.

And Miscavige continues the evil, demented ways of Hubbard with a robotic moronic vengeance.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 17, 2011, 10:52:32 AM
              L. Ron Hubbard for Real: Personal Stories

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 17, 2011, 07:22:30 PM
                                Paul Schobel- A friend to all.

This was posted by Chris Guider on Scientology-cult. For those that don't know, Chris was a 1st grade NRL (rugby league) player in the '80s who joined the SO and became a class 9 auditor, he later went over the rainbow and was the Int base MAA. He's out now after doing the RPF in ANZO a couple of years ago.

He tells Schob's story, I think everyone in ANZO back in the late '80s early 90s knew who Scobs was. I saw him when he returned, I had no idea that he was ill but it was clear he wasn't right to me, I thought he seemed nuts and I avoided working with him.

He deserved much more than he got.

Back in the day he was the big tech honcho from ANZO, complete with an air of confidence and swagger, clad in his favourite black leather jacket and overseeing an expanding and thriving AOSH ANZO. Schob's desk and office was the cross roads to everything that was going on in ANZO in the mid 80's. His door was never closed to anyone. Captains, execs, general staff, new recruits and public found their way to his RTC office, for a reference, advice or just some re assurance that things were going to work out. Schobs took it all in his stride staying late every night and long after the last in the line of endless callers left.

He was the ultimate fun loving Aussie, things were never too serious, where a joke was always the first and the last order of the day, a trait he carried right to the end. This tanned strapping surfie from Melbourne had a big heart and always walked on the sunny side of the street.

Schob's had earned his stripes, he was the star auditor in a robust Sydney auditing team in the mid 70's when that org was really delivering. They had well over 100 staff in those days and were well on their way to St Hill size. There wasn't a case he couldn't crack and he had excelled through his flag internships. His worksheets were really something to behold with his stylish writing and personal flair coming through. Auditing was art to Schob's and his canvas was the worksheets.

In 1986, RTC was buckling under the take over from Deranged dave and the continental offices were taken out. Dave said it was not RTC's job to have cont offices and he was taking control. Only to re-established the cont offices 10 years later when he had subverted the entire command chart so there was only himself and his black clad groupies in position to control everything and have all the money flowing to him.

Schob's disappeared for a while and then returned to be the Senior Case Supervisor ANZO post in mid 1987. He got to work putting C/Ses on post and seeing that they were getting people auditing and correcting them where needed. Again like when he was in RTC, his office was a cross roads for anyone in difficulty, needing advise or just wanted a bit of Schobs to brighten their day, everybody knew the way to Schob's office. After getting the cont scene expanding with C/Ses established and delivery expanding he was in line for a promotion. He left Australia again, this time he would not be back for a 17 long years and would take a journey that would leave him nothing in the end.

Schob's became the Quality Exec Int, wore commander bars and quickly got to work, getting a hang of the post and studying everything he could find on the newly computerised data files. He had to get out his 339R program, each Exec Int had to get out the program for their function and Schob's was one of only a couple of Exec Ints that got it done. His program based on his research and his own considerable experience with tech hit the conts and went in with improvements in the stats of auditor's made and quality showing up. Somehow getting this done and showing promise on the post got him removed and transferred to become the Snr Case Supervisor Gold. Made no sense to him or anyone else.

I didn't mention it earlier but Schobs had a situation with his kidneys and they were not working correctly which was a constant concern and source of pain for him. Through the years the situation was getting progressively worse with increasing pain and trouble for him. Another source of severe pain was the long separation he had endured from his wife Kathy. She was the Captain AOSH ANZO when he left Australia. After a year or two more she found her way to the US and became staff at CC Int. In those days people from Int could travel to PAC on the weekends and see their spouse for a night. The Schobels didn't see one another much not with Paul getting busted from CSing and under medical care with those accursed kidneys.

Kathy would become the Snr C/S CC Int and hold that post for a number of years before doing her time in the PAC RPF while Paul landed in the Advanced course materials printing section of Gold. By this time they had seen very little of each other for 10 years.

Now Schobs was scooped up in the entry days of what was to become the fool's Gold en Age of Tech. He found himself at Flag on project a long side a younger guy by the name of Dan Zimmatore together they were the original sups on that project. They got some supervision in and results were there and just about the time they had reached success Dan was sent home for "out ethics" thoughts about some of the admiring pretty girls that he and Schobs had attracted.

Schobs carried on and his activities carried over to auditing. Dave's definition of an FN and shoot them all approach was whipping everyone out with the tech staff going down in windrows and the RPF filling up. The tech delivery and any progress for pc's was all but halted with no FN's called at exams for 2 whole weeks! The examiners were terrified to call anything else they would be shot. On a certain pc dave was particularly executive C/Sing no one could get the FN to exams and with the pressure mounting in stepped Schobs. True to his character he rose to the challenge, found the by-passed charge and delivered the pc to exams with the FN. Almost everyone was amazed by his flawless communication cycle and handling of the meter, except of course for Dave who found something wrong and even despite the remarkable job Schobs had done.

Its a particular trait of dave and his ilk, one which he has gotten away with so many times where a truly talented person will put together a sterling job and dave will find a way to inject some confusion into it and carry off with the goods like he did the real work of it. He has spent his entire life perfecting his one ability to steal other people's honest work.

Schobs was returned to Int never to be near a meter again and spend his remaining days there working on building constructions. He carried on for a year or three. Now spending more and more time in the medical officer's hands and eventually he was on a dialysis machine draining his blood and running it through the machine every evening just to keep going. Schob's needed a kidney transplant and was on a long list to get one. The expenses were mounting and the sun was about to set on one Paul Schobel. He returned home a broken man, far away back in Australia where his expenses would be covered by welfare and no longer a concern for Int.

People in ANZO who once knew him well hardly recognised him. The former Tech zealot, a Mr Tech with the "we can crack any case" Mojo was a shadow of his once proud self. The degradation was complete, a travesty to behold and they wondered was he insane or just nuts. For a while he worked on ARCX public and call in, he even got a session but Schobs would soon become public enemy number one in ANZO.

A young Asian girl felt pity for him, was kind and tried to help him out with assists. Schobs still had a certain charm and despite all had not abandoned his sense of humour. She fell in love with him and when her impure thoughts were found out she was buried on the RPF and is still there to this day.

Schobs was moved off away from the sea org, now an apparent suicide risk and a full-time personal keeper was assigned to look out for him. All his travels and travails had brought him to living with his keeper in an old house in the western suburbs of Sydney. Basically an outlaw.

He had nothing left and on March 13th 2007 he unplugged the machine that was keeping his body running and one last time Schobs made his own causative decision and that was to bring down the curtain on this life.

There was no memoriam for Schobs -- as per usual from David Miscavige. He deserved a lot more -- his mega possessions were shared around as he had directed and one last request -- he left a case of VB for his mates to enjoy.

Written by Chris Guider

Post by: NED on April 18, 2011, 02:23:29 PM
OMG.  This sooooo tragic I wanted to cry.  I had no idea that this is how Paul had ended up.  I wonder where Kathy Schobel is now...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 29, 2011, 05:56:02 PM
                          My blog: One-third of a life in Scientology

I decided to write my story with Scientology in a blog - partly as a "therapy" so that I can get stuff out of my head and leave this part of my past behind easier - partly because it's easier for me to write down my thoughts than to talk about it when the subject comes up - partly because writing helps me to really look at the things, - and partly for the record, so that anyone can get to the information I can share.

Here it is:
One-third of a life in Scientology

Enjoy! :-)
Sis O' Sign

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 03, 2011, 09:52:00 AM

              Ron Pollard was a friend of mine.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 26, 2011, 03:39:52 PM
30 Years In and Finally Free -- Well Almost

    This is my story.

    I've never joined staff. Never signed up for the Sea Org. I was never the most dedicated Scientologist in the world. I was a Scientologist for more than 30 years but more time was spent off lines than on as I have always maintained my life in the real world.

    When on org lines I've witnessed staff members being screamed at and berated by other staff members. However, I did not see any beatings. But frankly it doesn't surprise me that the status quo has escalated to beatings since I left.

    After my husband's death I was "crush-regged." Surrounded by registrars and held against my will away from anyone who could stop them or distract until I signed the papers that they just happened to have with them to refinance my house with cash out. I was constantly followed by "field staff members" (fsms)--who waited for me outside my home, hovered at my work place and called me a minimum of 5 times a day -- all in attempts of getting more money from me to meet the "birthday game" stats. I couldn't get rid of them. To me the birthday game was the most hideous thing LRH ever came up with -- nobody was safe from the vultures.

    At one point I was locked in a room and screamed at by a staff member because I was $5,000 short on a $25,000 auditing intensive. This is how they were supposed to be "helping" me get over the death of my husband. This is how I was thanked for putting my house on the line and handing them a $20k "donation".

    The auditing I received consisted of a very long "sec check" which used up a good deal of that money. This security check benefits only the church and as I was told by my auditor (R-factor) that he is not auditing me. They also gave me a "clear check" but all I could do was cry over the loss of my husband throughout the process which led them to the conclusion that I was not clear.

    In addition to my sessions I had paid for my child to be audited to help her with the loss of her father. I soon found out that his death had not even been addressed. When I complained, the auditor took her into the room and asked her "How are you and your Dad doing?"

    During this time the fsm's who were "assigned to me" followed me everywhere on a daily basis. Always trying to get more money out of me. I felt like a hunted animal with no place to turn. You see--privacy is not a right of a Scientologist even if you are public. The most basic human rights are non-existent within the "church" and all their phony videos and gung-ho groups will not change the truth. The only way I was able to stop the incessant invasion into my personal life was to convince the registrars and fsms that I had no money which by this time was actually true. I even asked if I could have some of my money back to buy some food. I'll bet you can guess what the answer was to that.

    I eventually handed them the remainder of my savings -- everything I had in hopes that they would back off. I remember the shocked look on the registrar's face when I handed over the check for $5,000. He was shocked because for once he didn't have to fight me for the money. He had won.

    My daughter had a her own trouble with Scientology. When she was in her teens she became a target of Sea Org recruiters. She had no desire to be on staff or in the Sea Org. One day a Sea Org member literally chased her around the org parking lot with Sea Org contract in hand. It was like watching a Keystone Cop movie.

    It became very clear to me that Scientologists are robots running on someone else's determinism. There is clearly no true desire to help or "clear the planet". If the goal to clear the planet existed they would not be operating this way. They simply run in circles chasing stats with no real purpose.

    I decided to leave after 30 years because I finally realized that Scientology had become more of a hindrance than an aid to my happiness and well being. It did not enhance my life in any way for a very long time. For me it was a "no brainer" to quietly slip away. I did not ask for my money back or make a fuss because all of my friends were still Scientologists. It was hard for me to tell them and some still do not know that I am not an active member any more. They may figure it out, however, if they happen to read this.

    The original tech, including all the books, has been altered so much by DM that there is no longer any resemblance to the exciting movement Scientology was years ago. For me, Scientology had become the problem rather than the solution. I am glad to be free of it.

    I changed my phone number years ago but still get random Scientologists knocking on my door asking where I've been or to give me tickets to an event. One day they came by and my daughter answered the door. When they asked for me and my daughter told them that nobody by that name lives here. Then they further interrogated my daughter and eventually left only to come back after rifling through my mailbox. They knocked on the door again and said to my daughter "If she doesn't live here then why is this mail addressed to her?" Then they handed my daughter the mail.

    In a way I feel that I will always be entrapped by Scientology -- not just because I feel I have to hide in my own home but also because I still fear the loss of some old friends who I love dearly and would not want them to officially disconnect from me.

    Thank you for reading my story. It's been a long time but I am happy to have finally posted something. Also, I want to thank all on this board and many of the other boards and blogs for all you have done in exposing the greed and corruption of the COS.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 26, 2011, 04:01:40 PM
                                  Cadet Org Rugrat Story

    Hi I’m posting my story. I been debating how to write this and its ending up being way to long. I may in the future just stick to the details of events that happened to me in the future. But because I’m a terrible procrastinator. I felt like If I don’t just post something I never will and since this story is like 30 yrs old I thought I would just post what I have so far or I never will. Sorry it cuts out right in the middle of the Heber Jentz story ill finish it as soon as I have time.

    My main memory during my time In Scientology, specifically living on base in the Sea Org was the neglect. This was not only emotional but things like, hygiene, school, money, how to get a job or an apartment etc. Things that seem obvious if you’ve been taught or seen someone else do them but the details of living in the real world were completely unimportant in the church so as a result when I Ieft I was literally ten years behind in practical real world skills. The emotional effect was more devastating though.

    My mother is more central to my story to the story than the church because the church was not my parent but it’s more complex than that. My mother used the church as a dumping ground for me and was able to justify it by convincing herself that she was saving the planet. The conditions at the church where deplorable for children but even at the time( or at least as soon as I was able to formulate such a thought) I didn’t think it was the churches job to raise or protect me. A point I tried arguing with my mom on several occasions at one point asking her point blank if she thought she was a good parent. She said she thought she was, I would have been about 12. I didn’t believe she believed that. I knew she didn’t want to face the real world so much so that she was willing to throw me under the bus. The denial was frustrating. I found out later (when I was thirty) she had a secret child before me that she had to give up for adoption. I believe this had a traumatic effect and drove her to Scientology in the first place.

    With the guilt of giving away a kid I don’t think it’s a coincidence that my mother worked at the CEO most of the time I was there although I hardly ever saw her. I know she was the CO at one point and usually had a high post of some sort except for when she was getting demoted or put on the rpf. As I mentioned my mom was not really around that much not really sure what happened except for what I would overhear. I overheard her one time talking about how she got in trouble for going ahead and purchasing the CEO food supplies before the PO was approved because she had to order it before it was too late. Apparently no one had gotten back to her on the PO so she just went ahead and made the order. I think my mom was generally well liked and thought of as someone really dedicated to the kids

    Ok before I go in all that I think a little background info is in order but after starting to write this it feels really self indulgent but also important to my story so Ill just say if you just want the detail of Cadet Org life and not some self indulgent background skip the rest of this post and wait for the next post

    I was more or less born into the church my mom was a Sea Org Member by the time I was 5. I was in and around the church in LA in the late 70's through the 80's living on Beacon street, Melrose Ave, the Fountain Ave House, The Cadet Estates Org (on Bronson,) The Celebrity Center and 6724 Hollywood blvd. I was a real Sea Org rugrat. In those days it was easy to float between the different Orgs and buildings and later in my teens various houses in the neighborhood owned by Scientologists.
    Prior to Melrose I lived on Beacon st but it may have been Wilcox or Belvue those are names I remember as well . This was 73/74 before my mom “blew” for this first time I was possibly five or six a lot of things like dates hazy from this period. I was very young of course so this make sense plus I was moving a lot. My reality could change at any moment. (I lived in at least 25 places both on and off base Between 73-85.) so this may also be fucking with my sense of time.

    I had no real guidance during my stay at the church and wasnt developing a sense of self. Of course children in general may not have a well developed sense of self but with resolute neglect there isn’t the natural parental process of reinforcing positive behavior or acknowledging personal strengths that promote a child’s development. The future didn’t have a significance. I mostly I just existed. During this time I was in a living state of suspended animation.

    I was however, smart and more importantly had strong survival instincts. Children can adapt to anything. Being smart, I could also be manipulative but my manipulation was as far as I can remember used mainly for my survival.

    By no means was I an angel. Being smart didn’t stop me from being an out of ethics little shit at times. Of particular note was crime ring perpetrated by me and two of my friends, a Sea Org Members kid well call Tony and the son of a staff member who lived off base we’ll call Robby. Sometime around 80 I would have been twelve or thirteen we were breaking into Scientology offices and dorms stealing money mainly to buy comics books, which we were obsessed with. Ultimately I got caught and ended up rolling over on my friends in about two seconds flat. I was glad it was over.
    Expecting the RPF or worse village shame (which in the case would have been warranted) nothing came of it. Considering all the shit that didn’t amount to anything you could get into trouble for I was sure I was fucked this time but nope. I imagine I was written up but never heard about it. Then I was routed back to the CEO. You have to understand the system for handling kids was really fucked up. I don’t think anyone knew what to do with us . I think it was easier to ship us back to the CO or the CEO and let them deal with us. Anyway this is not something I’m proud of I’m just telling you what happened, but much more on this time period later, it was still years to come at this point.

    So anyway back to the Beacon street house and two or three events that happened there. My time here is not the most eventful or damaging but the only way I could think to write was from the beginning,

    This is the haunting of my dorm story which was exercised by Heber Jentz. This name could be wrong although not sure why I would remember it being him. I will have to confirm this if I can at a later time but I’m pretty sure it was him.

    This was at Beacon or Belvue or wherever I was at the time was a room that was used as sleeping quarters for the younger children. I think it may have been the attic. The room was really long with an open floor plan. It was an old house with wood floors and I remember it having a pitched ceiling although that could be wrong. The room was long, maybe thirty feet and was arranged dormitory style on each side of the room there was a long row of beds where the kids would sleep. There was enough room to comfortably walk between the rows of beds down the center of the room. I don’t remember being much other furniture or mest. It was right out of the 19o0’s orphanage. My mom lived in a house next door. It would be about this time 73/74 she met the guy she would end up marrying and as a significant aspect in my life this fact is hardly worth mentioning except to note that later on this was the guy she blew ( the first time) with when we moved back to San Francisco … but I digress.

    The house was creepy at night and I don’t know how long I was there before something kept walking me up in the middle of the night. Maybe it was my imagination I don’t know but I’ve never been targeted by a ghost before or since. It wasn’t clear to me at first what was going on other than would wake up scared. I might chalk it up to nerves of living at a new place but I had already lived in 6 places ( or more) before 74 and I was only 6.

    …I’m going to finish the rest of this story as soon as I can

Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 02, 2011, 04:27:00 PM
           My Blog: Becoming Free to Shine...
         Ex Saint Hill, WW & Melbourne staff, 30+ years in scientology

Story starts here...


Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 08, 2011, 09:11:47 AM
                                    Lana Mitchell's story

    Lana Mitchell's husband of 22 years left her for speaking out against the current COS.

    This really made me angry.

    Blowing the whistle on blackmail and coercion
    By Lana Mitchell

    Last year, I declared my independence on Marty’s blog. It was a decision of my own, based on my experiences and reality. I was, at that time, a declared SP. I had worked in the Sea Org for 17 years - leaving in 2005, and have been living in Australia since 2005, with my husband of 22 years.

    My husband does not share my views on the Church, nor on DM – possibly due to the fact that we had very different career paths and posts in the SO. I heard and saw much, particularly during my tenure in RTC and then later on RTC service lines, which he did not see or experience. His only real experiences with Marty Rathbun were receiving ethics interviews on the meter. I decided some time ago that trying to talk to my husband about the Indie’s was impossible as he had clearly communicated that in his view, Mike, Marty, Claire, Amy and many others who have spoken out publicly (as whistle blowers), are twisting and fabricating stories so that they can line their own pockets financially (not that these people HAVE been paid a cent for their stories – but in his head – they have).

    The announcement of my independence had some interesting ramifications.

    Firstly, I was contacted by a number of people, welcoming me.

    Secondly, I found myself under attack and having to defend my views and reality. I will try not to make this too long-winded – but I think the story needs to be told.

    Some months earlier, in 2010, I had received an email communication from Danny Barram. I had worked with Danny at various points in my SO career. He had a small baby (then 6 months old) and was apparently no longer on staff, in good standing and working for a local Scientologist in the US. I did not solicit emails from Danny and several times informed him that I was declared and he should not be writing me. Despite this, every few weeks I would get another email from him, cheerily asking me how things were going. At various points he would ask me what my views were on the church, and I stated that I was a fence sitter – that I was undecided on where I stood. I did not tell him that I had, however, been reading and contributing to Marty’s blog for some time.

    With my declared independence, I answered one of Danny’s emails with my decision, and told him not to write me anymore. He responded with a bunch of questions on why I had this view, and when I wrote back with my answers I got back a severe response (which I later learned was written by Marion Pouw formerly of RTC) reproaching me, name calling, and so on. The email was completely entheta.

    Danny then sent the email thread to my husband. There was an argument that ensued. Several days went by without Mitch talking to me. Then, on a Sunday morning, he said he had to go to work (he is a Project Manager in the construction industry) and would not be back till after lunch. He returned that afternoon and informed me that he had spent the morning with Mike Sutter and Marion Pouw -- and they were coming to dinner that night. I did not agree that they were being brought into my home. Nothing said would resolve it, and Mike and Marion showed up just as the kids were being put to bed. They stayed for more than 5 hours.

    It is an awkward situation to be in, to have 3 people with one reality, against 1 with a different reality. It was also disturbing to me that it was taking place in my home, in my living room, and with the sanction of my husband. Mitch however said to me that he was drawing a line in the sand. He told me that either I recanted as an Indie and took action to remedy the situation, or our marriage was over. More on this later…

    I listened to several hours of dead-agenting efforts by Mike Sutter and was astounded that he would not respond to any of my questions about the scene at Int – simply going on and on about how wonderful the Idle orgs are, how incredible the expansion is, and so on. I got no-answers to questions like, “Are people still in the Hole?” “What WDC members are actually on post?” “What semblance of International Management still exists?”

    They left late into the night and returned the next evening for another 4 – 5 hour discussion. It became clear that they were not going anywhere. They were going to just keep coming back and back. Meanwhile, my husband had made it clear that if I did not recant, that our marriage was over.

    I decided that the most survival route – while still maintaining my integrity, was to find a way to get them out of my house. I told them about my story in the Sea Org, and about 3 specific instances of injustice that have been upsetting to me for a long time, and I agreed to “follow standard justice lines” and request a Comm Ev to look into these three things. This seemed to make all happy – and over the next day I wrote up a (very lengthy) request for a Comm Ev and passed it on.

    Now, in saying this, I wish to clarify what was behind my decision to do this. I felt that the Church was firmly playing my husband against me and thus I was blackmailed. My husband had been the chief bread winner in our household, and we have two small children (at that time they were 1 yrs and 4 yrs old). We have a home that we built and love, and we have a large mortgage. Mitch had clearly stated to me that either I cooperate or the marriage is over – and I could not see how I, or the children, could survive alone.

    Further, during my 17 years in the Sea Org, there were many efforts to drive a stake between Mitch and myself. In addition to the many years when were posted in different orgs in different locations (from ANZO, to LA, to Int), there was also the time when I was in RTC and ordered to divorce Mitch (after he had been restricted to the base and unable to come home at night for over a year). Again, when I was busted from RTC, I was restricted (again, for almost a year) – so we barely saw each other. Then, later still, when I was offloaded from the Int base (unjustly) our communications were tampered with for months and he was told to divorce me several times. He finally decided to blow to come and find me (I had been sent to the PAC Ranch), but he chickened out and turned himself in, only to then be sent to the PAC RPF for considering a blow. So – our marriage has been checked by efforts to split us up – and I decided that I was not going to let the Church finally win and achieve this objective. My postulate for my marriage was still there – despite the many problems and issues that Mitch and I were having since we returned to Australia. We got married in 1988 – when we were still teenagers. I am now 43 years old.

    So... back to the story with Mike Sutter and Marion Pouw showing up night after night…

    I told them I would go ahead requesting a Comm Ev, at which point they immediately stated that a Comm Ev would not look kindly on my postings on Marty’s blog – and I would have to provide proof that I was no longer connected and take all efforts to get my postings removed.

    I provided communications to Mike Sutter that satisfied him, and wrote an article about following standard justice lines to get situations handled. My article was not useful as dead-agent material and I was asked to include DA material that they had provided on Marty, but I disagreed and finally they agreed with a proposal from myself that they create a new site that is just for people wanting to follow the standard justice lines to try and sort out their individual situations. Mike was happy with this idea and they left and a few months later a website was born.

    My article was posted on the home page – with my full name at the bottom. There were many other articles and testimonials included on the site, but every other one was anonymous. I found out later from other Indie’s that my article was posted on many different sites, not just this one, but was not informed of this by Mike Sutter. Clearly my letter was something that OSA used to encourage other ex-staff (SP Declared) to come on side and NOT get involved in the Indie movement.

    The Comm Evs were held for both Mitch and myself by OSA Int staff. As expected, our SP declares were cancelled as they were off-policy (surprise, surprise!). My off-load from the Int base was also deemed to be off-policy (stats were in Affluence, no Comm Ev, no Court of Ethics). My Comm Ev also stated that I had participated in “natter and black PR on an anti-Church blog and on 16 June I publicly resigned from the Church). They found me guilty of “Public disavowal of Scientology or Scientologists in good standing with Scientology organisations”, and ordered me to a sec check.

    Interestingly enough, when I went back to have a look at my earlier postings on Marty’s blog that so upset my husband, Mike Sutter, Marion Pouw, the Comm Ev and others, my postings simply say that I am a Scientologist – that I apply tech to my life and that I have found it truly does work. I have also given specific information on situations that I experienced first-hand that were off-policy, out-tech and out-KSW. I have given truthful accounts of what I have seen and heard. I have not exaggerated, I have not twisted and distorted information – I have simply reported what I consider needs to be known.

    I found, after being off the Int base and out of the SO, that I was actually able to destimulate and get exterior to the insanity that was going on – and that enabled me to actually recognise the cause of the situation and see the WHO behind it. I consider it a responsibility of mine to make my information and stories known – as if I don’t then I am simply non-confronting the magnitude of the situation.

    I am fully aware of what Black PR is. Back in the mid 1990s I was the investigator that found that the Truth Rundown had been lost, and I ran a program to get it being used again, along with RB tech. I am very familiar with what natter is – and it is simply overts and withholds speaking.

    None of my postings on any website to date have been Black PR or natter. They have been truthful reports about incidents and situations that Corporate Scientology does not want to have people know about – so they try to silence me and anyone else who speaks out.

    I was not surprised to find my Comm Ev was just a white wash, a rubber stamp and an effort to get me on-side and silenced.

    And even when that was issued, in December of last year, I worked hard to try and repair my marriage of 22 years, in an effort to salvage it and return ARC to what it once was.

    After several months it became clear that the situation was not resolving. We had continued rows and upsets and then early this year, after an in-depth discussion about our failing marriage, my husband said to me “You haven’t even thanked me for what I did. You haven’t thanked me for getting our SP Declares lifted. You haven’t thanked me for getting Mike Sutter and Marion Pouw to come here. You might as well have been a heroin druggy with a needle stuck in your arm – and it was ME that saved your life – and you haven’t even thanked me!”

    That communication said it all for me.

    My only response was “Why would I thank someone who ambushed me and forced me to go against my own reality?”

    His eyes were wide in disbelief.

    I was in disbelief that I was wasting my time trying to resurrect a marriage that was clearly so far gone. And at that point I decided to go with what I know and to go with my integrity. I refuse to be muzzled. I refuse to be blackmailed any further. And I refuse to be controlled by a corrupt organization that does not want its crimes known.

    Mitch moved out of our home at the beginning of April. Both parties agree that the marriage is over and is irreconcilable and we are currently working our way through the necessary mediation and settlement process.

    Interestingly enough, Mitch was informed by OSA when it was thought I was posting on Marty’s blog again and I received an antagonistic and entheta email from him, telling me to stop living in the past and to stop endangering his eternity, and the eternity of our children.

    He has not realized yet that he will never get his eternity from Corporate Scientology. He has his eternity regardless of that organisation – and if he is wanting freedom, he certainly won’t get it with them.

    If there was any question as to my current status – let me be wholly clear here - particularly for Mitch. I am an independent Scientologist. I believe in LRH tech. I know it works. I refuse to let a psycho SP midget bring down the house of cards – and I will not be muzzled.

    To be continued... Next instalment coming after July 4.

    Lana Mitchell

Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 11, 2011, 04:30:25 AM
I have just been told that Martin Bentley has died, apparently he was in a nursing home somewhere on the Gold Coast in QLD.

The information I have is that Debbie Champion from the Sydney AO contacted his ex-wife to tell her.

I sort of thought that was a bit strange since Martin left her after joining the sea org and taking up with another sea org member before being rpfed...

Martin Bentley was abandoned by the CofS long before he ever got to the nursing home.

The CofS simply abandoned Martin, a man who gave his life in service to scientology, once he was considered to be of no further value to them.

A kind-hearted and caring Ex-scn'ist found Martin wandering the streets; homeless, bedraggled, ill with dementia and suffering from malnutrition. That person took Martin in and helped him regain some semblance of health and normalcy and finally helped him get situated in the Nursing Home.

That particular Ex-scientologist did what the CofS should have done.

RIP, Martin.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 20, 2011, 11:20:43 AM
 From  Marty Rathbun:

                              IAS Freedom Medal winner homeless

    IAS Atrocities (Part One) - Dennis Clark

    IAS Atrocities (Part One) – Dennis Clark

    Posted on July 19, 2011 by martyrathbun09| 50 Comments

    This is a wake up call.

    It is a sad story. But, it is unfortunately true.

    It should be distributed to everyone who has ever paid one thin dime to the International Association of Scientologists (IAS) or who is contemplating doing so in the future.

    As anyone who has attended an IAS event knows, each and every minute is a lead up - in Miscavige’s rolling thunder style – to the IAS Medal Award Winners. The audience is overwhelmed with special effects, blaring music, impossible (false) stats and poingnant, emotional vignettes about the winner and how he or she allegedly changed the fate of an entire nation or the world itself.

    Miscavige understood early on that the medal winner crescendo was the IAS’s bread and butter. That is why he spent so much time in the editing bay at Gold personally constructing the deceptive hype videos introducting them. It is also why he early on knocked out the practice of anyone but himself dishing the medals out on stage.

    One of the early IAS Freedom Medal winners was one Dennis Clark. Many newer Scientologists don’t know much about him. He hasn’t been showing up for the reunions at the annual IAS event at St Hill for a while.

    That is because Dennis Clark over time lost grip of his mind. He was of the Allender ilk – the type of public that would kill for David Miscavige if asked. He is the overrestimulated zealot who was sending out mass emails after the St Petersburg Times Truth Rundown series in 2009, claiming Mike and I were being sponsored by big pharma (how else could such incredibly huge effects be created, he (and Miscavige) “reasoned”, I suppose).

    Dennis later had a massive stroke more or less paralyzing an entire side of his body. One might think (particularly the likes of those dupes who spent millions on IAS statuses) that the IAS, or even the church, and surely their cult leader David Miscavige would take care of the old war horse in his time of need.

    The answer turned out to be a definitive “NO.” And the proof is contained in the following email cycle between Clark and another IAS Freedom medal winner, one David Pomerantz. Read it yourself, and come to your own conclusions about the intentions and integrity levels of David Miscavige, IAS, and the “church” of Scientology.

    Realize, these hearfelt, if bizarre, pleas by Clark went unanswered. However, friends of Dennis got into direct comm with me about getting Dennis help. And irrespective of his unprincipled and false black PR campaign against me personally, we answered the call. In fact it was an Indie who arranged for a guy in “good standing” to pony up some bread for premises for Dennis and some medical care. It had to be someone in “good standing” because Dennis might have suffered another stroke had he been approached directly by Indies. Until then Dennis was living out of his car. He was washing himself in public restrooms, and was in the streets begging for food. I am glad someone is taking care of him. I am appalled that worldly people like the Feschbacks and Bob Duggan continue to pay millions to Miscavige in attempts to bury us. Nonetheless, when Miscavige has betrayed them sufficiently and they too are out on the streets, we’ll be there for them as we were for Dennis.
    First Email:

    From: Dennis H. Clarke []
    > Sent: Saturday, May 14, 2011 1:46 PM
    > Subject: If I Want To Be Treated Like A Human Being, It Will Cost Me Extra
    > Dollars
    > I have been stupid in thinking the torture I have been subjected to here and
    > at Hale Nani and at Straub Hosps has been personal. Making it worse for
    > myself, I instinctively fight back. I have been very nieve and now see how
    > this, like the prison guard situations, works on these captive populations
    > and their families.
    > These places are run by a mafia of some flavor, with some administrators,
    > doctors and nurses plus the CNAs and and other staff involved. I had
    > forgotten I was here in the far East!
    > Food, baths, proper care in terms of medications and actual rehabilitation,
    > all are subject to extra money, bribes and other extra dollar factors.
    > I have missed their W/Hs and so now know my life is in danger here!
    > I need extra dollars for bribes and/or to get out of here, ASAP.
    > Dennis
    Response From David Pomerantz

    On May 14, 2011, David Pomeranz wrote:
    > Understood, Dennis.
    > Wow! That sounds like a bad espionage movie – one I don’t want to see. I’m
    > sorry you’re having to go through this.
    > This makes it manadatory that we get you to the Philippines pronto. Is the
    > only unresolved problem your accomos?
    > Love,
    > D.
    Dennis’s final plea

    From: Dennis H. Clarke <>
    To: David Pomeranz <>
    Sent: Sat, May 14, 2011 5:03:42 PM
    Subject: Re: If I Want To Be Treated Like A Human Being, It Will Cost Me Extra Dollars

    Yes, its accomos and I still dont know what I am gettig for my money ($1600 for three months of what?).

    In doing some due dilligence over the Internet and with acquanteces here, I have been told/learned that overall, treatment at the Dr’s University Hospital in Cebu City, runs about half of St. Luke’s in Manila and is comperable. I’m more than a little afraid of running out of money and so, have hit something of a Q & A between the two.

    I’ve gotten exactly zero assists through the org here and have had to rely on three friends here and my son. The only one I can actually rely on at this point is my son and he is going with me. The three friends have either blown the cycle or lost intrest, months ago. That leaves my son only, for assists at this point.
    I have little hope of being able to buy further services from our Orgs. Thus, the worrys about cash and the need to get as much rehab as I can get with what money I have left.

    That’s what I am working to resolve.

    I am also going to go legal against another member here who is refusing to discuss $400,000 he had agreed to pay me for solar sales I made for him here. Since the stroke, he has apparently decided to simply steal the $400,000 commission. He has hired a former senior HCO terminal here to help him. Together, they have the backing of the local org.

    Believe me, there are these important (to me) matters I still have to deal with here.

    I’m working on them as best I can but I’m hitting the wall, physically and theta wise. I have been mid OT V since 1987 and that’s appently much too long. Frankly, I’m wearing down fast without help from my group.


    Incomplete on NOTs for twenty-four years? Only a suppresive group of the lowest order could manage that. I could, and would if he woke up and reached, straighten him out with a yank in very short order. Easy.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 21, 2011, 11:36:39 AM
Hubbard's Gt. Grandson, Jamie DeWolf - Powerful Performance (HD)

Very recent  (2011) recording of a public performance of Jamie De Wolf. 

                          MUST SEE !!!!

And now covered by The Washington Post

Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 26, 2011, 07:58:57 PM
The Nerve of Minerva by Samantha Domingo
Posted on July 25, 2011 by martyrathbun09| 151 Comments

We’ve been a bit distracted of late dealing with David Miscavige’s robots carrying out his orders to run us out of our home and town.  Part of the program includes defaming us with lies both on his 28 anti-Marty sites and individually to officials and citizens of our home town and region.  I have been remiss lately in not keeping the vacuum filled on what goes on at Casablanca that causes the waves of cult members and PI’s swirling about attempting our demise.  I began the process yesterday and continue it today with the inimitable Samantha Domingo.  Sam likes to joust with Minerva (handle for Miscavige’s oracle of entheta – vicious lies).  Sam wrote the following recently to put the lie to one of Minerva’s oft-repeated propaganda lines. It tends to fill the vacuum of what goes on here while all the noise goes on in the streets.


The Nerve of  Minerva

By Samantha Domingo


A  recent post on the OSA inspired anti-Marty Rathbun website (really a character assassination) lays claim to the invented idea that I would not trust Marty Rathbun to audit me.

Well then. Time to fill the vacuum!

The data from ‘Minerva’ (OSA operative) that became twisted into my not being desirous of auditing from Marty stems from an email I sent to ‘her’ challenging her claim that I had gone to receive auditing from Marty. Not that I care whether anyone thinks I am or am not receiving auditing from Marty, but it simply wasn’t true. I went to see Marty for an ethics handling.

The reason I didn’t want auditing? Not because I didn’t trust Marty. But because the last year I spent at Flag (being ‘audited’ by Class IXs and XIIs) was so engramic I didn’t know if I could face ever going back in session again.

The out-tech my ex-husband and I endured at Flag included (but was not limited to): Robotic TRs, enforced ethics handlings, enforced items, refused items, running an OT on squirrel FPRD processes (neglecting to handle the OT case correctly), evaluation, forced auditing over exterior, forced auditing over tiredness, being audited after 10pm or before 8am, frequent (often weekly) changes of auditors, overrun, suppressive refusal to call valid F/Ns, suppressive reasonableness on out 2D, Gang bang regging, enforced repairs that were not needed, invalidation of the state of clear, invalidation of the state of OT, enforcement of NED after OT III, 3rd party (from the CHAPLAIN), Auditing a PC over a PTS condition, Auditing a PC (on the OT levels) with PT crimes, Marriage Counseling over a continuing out 2D situation, telling the PC what his overts are, refusing to accept valid overts, waiting for the meter to play Dixie, enforced interpretations of words (in session), evaluation that you haven’t made it (after attesting), evaluation that ‘there’s something wrong with your F/N’, end of endless rudiments ‘sessions’, end of endless FPRD sessions, executive C/Sing, enforced (incorrect) conditions handlings, being regged heavily after session by my auditor, being regged heavily after session by the board I/C, being regged heavily after session by the D of P, Reg visits by my auditor to my house, waiting at the examiner, MAAs falling asleep mid ethics interviews, auditors falling asleep mid session, DTS in tears daily if I didn’t help make their hours quota (guilting me into session), being told that all beings are always exterior (as an excuse to take me in session while still exterior), examiners and auditors staring at the e-meter (causing dirty needles), lengthy enforced and un-necessary sec checking at our own expense while not under ethics or justice actions…I could go on.

The reason I never wanted to go near an org or in session ever again? The squirrel technology developed by David Miscavige and in full use at Flag. I got my ‘ethics interview’ from Marty. Actually it was a 10 minute chat (and didn’t cost me a dime). In that 10 minutes I blew 2 years of frustration and grief charge, fully handled my own PTSness and rehabilitated my willingness to continue on up the Bridge.

OSA would love to insinuate that I wouldn’t trust Marty to take me in session. The fact of the matter is, he is the ONLY person I would trust to take me in session and I would be happy and willing to go in with him. Problem is. I’ve been so keyed out just by disconnecting from  the suppression of the Cult of Miscavige that life got a bit too interesting and fun to worry about such things. I’m over it now but If I fall on my head or need a repair I’ll be knocking on Marty’s door.

Incidentally the Cult of Miscavige squirrel tech almost killed my 12 year old daughter. I may not have received formal auditing from Marty but I sure as hell trusted him to handle my own child. And he did. In less than a week. At the time OSA was heavily on the lines trying to get my ex-husband to talk me into giving my daughter ‘free auditing’ from a class XII. It is David Miscavige’s army of squirrel auditors at Flag I wouldn’t trust. They probably would have handled the problem by finishing up the job of destroying my child completely. ‘Pocahontas’ is still doing great Marty and of all the places in the world she can go, she told me she just wants to come back to Texas and see you both again.

The nightmare went on even after leaving the cult. Throughout the last two years, my ex-husband and I have had to endure constant attempts from the Cult of Miscavige to destroy my family. It wasn’t personal. It was cold and calculated and it was all about the ‘Domingo’ name and money. Marty was there for all of us every step along the way. He has been a rock of sanity, safety and comfort for all of our family members. I have no words to thank him.

Casablanca is a second home for me. It is where I go to feel safe and loved. It is where I go when I need help. It is my org. I’m crying now as I write these words. I’m only just realizing how much of my strength actually came from knowing that Marty and Mosey had my back and were there for me always. I was never alone even though sometimes it felt that way.

No words of admiration could be enough for the way I feel about Marty’s wife Mosey.  I love you Mosey. You have endured far worse attacks than I have and for the same sin I was guilty of – loving and protecting your husband despite any and all attempts to destroy your love for each other.

Last I checked Maty’s auditing schedule was crammed with PCs and the phone was ringing off the hook. A sure sign that people are winning wouldn’t you say?

I can’t wait to return to Casablanca. Marty – please give your amazing neighbors a hug from me and ask them tell their love story to every person who comes to visit you! They truly were an inspiration to me.

I assume that fills the vacuum?

Feel free to post this on your Casablanca website or anywhere you like as my success story Marty.


Samantha J Domingo

Blogger note: Yeah, I’m kinda fond of Mosey too.  Brian Culkin turned me on to this little ditty that sorta captures my feelings these days (the girl I met near Brownsville Texas):

Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 29, 2011, 12:12:12 AM
My family in Scientology: child neglect, fraud, slave work, trafficking, imprisonment

    ...medical malpractice, espionage within the family, taking away human rights.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 09, 2011, 03:51:27 PM
  Scientology and Ex Scientologist Arnie Lerma

This is an interview with Arnie Lerma, Ex Sea Org (in for 7 years), Ex-Scientologist for 33 years) telling Part 1 of his story of meeting me, working at Delta Meters, and other experiences. Here is his invaluable web site.(Hubbard's Navy record+Death Certificate+Coroner's report, Archive of news articles going back to 1950, Interviews and radio shows, Plus other goodies-over 5,000 files). Please take time to read it:

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 12, 2011, 11:50:24 AM
                                Out for 15 years and still alive!

    Hi, my name is Skip Yarian. I was somewhat well-known to people in the East U.S. and LA.
    I did my first Scn course in 1975, at the Tampa, FL mission. I later joined staff in Atlanta, and audited thousands of hours in the Atlanta area during 1984 - 1994. I was the ED of the Atlanta Org for about 1 or 2 years (it's a blur). I regged, recruited, did finance, PR, marketing and promotion, name it, I pretty much had to do it all at one time or another. That was the job, crusade, purpose line, whatever.

    I was also on staff at FCDC for 6 months. If I recall correctly, I got the WDAH up to the highest, or second highest in the history of FCDC. Just mintues before we had the weekly meeting that Thursday night, an SO member ferociously blasted me for not getting the hours higher. The ferocity of that berating caused something inside me to snap. Working 15 hours per day 7 days per week, with weeks of screaming affluence (actually, the only things actually screaming were the SO missionaires in the org), and what do I get? Screamed at with such hatred and animosity that I realized the Scientology I had known no longer existed. If someone talked to me like that today, I fear my response would be much more drastic. But, interestingly, those things never seem to happen out in the real world, for some strange reason. Not without dire consequences, at least.

    I blew 3 times from Scientology during my time on staff. The first was after I'd worked 16 hours per day for 11 months, no days off, including the week we won the birthday game.
    I was 'recovered' back to staff 2 times.
    The third time, in 1996, was a charm, because I haven't been back since. That time I made sure that it would be nearly impossible to find me. And it was.

    It was always a mystery to me why things on staff became more and more difficult as the years went by. After finally getting out and later finding resources online, it's all become clear.

    I'm not writing to bash the technology of Scientology, or LRH. Certainly there were some crazy things that went on. Maybe that's not harsh enough for some.
    I've read many of the horror stories, and have my own personal stories of neglect, abuse, deprivation, poverty and irresponsibility, which includes my own mammoth irresponsibility.
    By no means am I holier than thou. But I'm sure you've read enough of those.

    I only want to say this: there is life outside Scientology.
    While on staff, I was so convinced that some horrible thing would happen if I left Scientology. The truth is, nothing horrible happened. I didn't freak out. I didn't go crazy, or come down with some terrible and incurable illness. I always heard that "you won't 'make it' if you leave Scientology". But that's not true.
    Any adverse effects in life were due to my own lack of ethics or inability to handle the situation. There was no big mysterious bogey man who came and took my mind and life away.

    I have had to lie on resumes to fill the period I was on staff. What non-Scientologist could understand "1984 - 1994, Scientology staff member"? Leaving the church at age 42 didn't bode well in the working world without a work history that an employer could relate to. I've bullshitted my way through enough interviews, and creatively fashioned a false history. Who can relate to Scientology? It was hard enough getting the people who were somewhat curious to be interested in the subject.

    It did take some time to adjust to the outside world, because things had changed in the world and I wasn't there to keep up with the changes. I joke with my friends that I missed the 80's. It's true.
    But time has passed, I've been through my own personal inval and eval cycles, bounced around through various jobs, screwed up, done crazy things.
    I eventually realized that I was an able person prior to Scientology, and even more able since, out of necessity.

    In my opinion, Scientology technology has its merits, despite those who say otherwise. But rather than argue the point, I would mostly like to address this post to the tempted ones, those who think maybe it's time to get out of the church.

    I will say that if you are thinking of leaving the church, there's a good reason that you're thinking that.

    Once you get online and check out some of the data out here (and there is a vast array of opinions online), you will see that there are some people who have had similar experiences. And you'll be shocked by some of the realities that you've been shielded from. Be prepared, it's not a pretty sight.

    For those who have been out, this is old hat, I know. I only hope to influence someone who's still on the fence.

    There is life after Scientology.

    My best to you.!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 22, 2011, 08:41:50 PM
                               Freewinds: Off purpose, off course

I was in the SO for 23 years, first at FSO and then as the Mechanics Chief Freewinds. I received a bad blood transfusion in 1989 when the ship was in Curacao. This was not spotted until 13 years later in 2002, as the fatigue got worse and worse. By that point, I was more than half dead and was finally diagnosed with AIDS.

Although they knew what was happening, ship personnel did not inform me of the situation nor the reason behind my rapidly declining health. I was simply called up to the  Medical Liaison office with the Captain and Chief Officer there, and told that I was going for further testing to see Dr Denk in LA. To make matters worse, Captain Napier told me not to tell my wife that I was going because "You know how women can be about things like this." I thought WTF? I'm going to go to my cabin now and pack in front of her and then disappear in the morning without telling her? I objected and the Captain said “OK, tell her."

So, in May, 2002 I arrived in LA to see Dr Gene Denk, “for further testing.” When I walked into his office he took one look at me and a shadow passed by his face. “They didn’t tell you, did they?” he asked.

“Tell me what?” was my reply.......

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 23, 2011, 08:32:01 AM
                                             Ole Boskov

    Today, I found out that a very, very dear friend, Ole Boskov died of liver cancer at age 48. I have to say that I am pretty much devistated. Ole was one of the very finest people that I ever met in all my years and travels with Scientology. He was a loving, gentle, kind soul with a HUGE heart. While many people talked about Hubbard's "Code of Honor" Ole LIVED it. He was a truly great artist and man.

    About two months ago, we had a long talk about my book. Ole wanted to read it, so I sent him the english manuscript. However, shortly thereafter, he slipped into a coma and never regained consciousness. In our last conversation, he was still defending Scientology.

    Ole was a "New OT8", had done the SHSBC, KTL etc, etc, etc and was training to be the Senior C/S of Copenhagen.

    Before his "Scientology Career" Ole had had a number one hit throughout Scandanavia doing a Danish Rap version of "You Can't Touch This". On top of that, he was a wonderful composer/lyricist and an amazing pianist.

    In that last conversation, he told me that his marriage of over 20 years was over and that he had left his wife and 10-year-old son to concentrate on getting well. Basically, he added, his career was finished, he was financially ruined, and that he had been "successfully" operated on 2 times in the last year for liver cancer. After all that -- in the very next breath, he then told me "Yeah, LRH's tech is amazing. If it wasn't for that, I would have been long gone..."

    I was screaming inside my head, and thinking to myself "Ole, you are a "New OT8", You've done the KTL, SHSBC, the L's and all these others courses, and auditing. You've invested hundreds of thousands of dollars. Look at your life!!! You are 48 years old. You have had liver cancer 2 times in one year. Your 20 year marriage is over. Your career is finished. You're financially ruined. You're DYING, man. Is this being "AT CAUSE" over the physical universe. What the fuck is OT about your life????"

    But in that moment, I could only say "Ole, there is much to say to that last comment, but NOW is not the time for that discussion. The only thing you need to do is get healthy."

    My heart goes out to his wife, son and the rest of his family.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 15, 2011, 07:57:44 PM
                            FLAG® ED 2830

Here is Scientology`s leaked list of Suppressive groups and persons, and those Expelled from Scientology, as of 1991.

Or for easier reading just look up the word "paranoid."

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 25, 2011, 09:09:56 AM
                             The Strange Case of Biggi Reichert

Posted on September 24, 2011

I am investigating the circumstances and cover up of the 2006  untimely and unfortunate death of a senior  German Scientologist.

Biggie was an OT VIII.  She was also an IAS Patron.

Biggi married an apparently wealthy Scientologist real estate speculator Juergen Reichert.   Biggi learned after the wedding that Juergen  was in fact deep in debt.

In 2000 Biggi was Mission Holder of the Augsburg Mission.

In 2006 Biggi Reichert was the Public Exec Sec at the Hamburg Scientology organization.

In 2006 Biggi wrote a note to the Flag Solo NOTs Director of Processing that she had allegedly attained the pinnacle of the Bridge, yet the two ruins she got into Scientology to handle were still her ruins: the Second Dynamic (sex, marriage and the rearing of children) and money.  At the time she and her husband were in debt to the tune of approximately ten million Euros (or 16 million US dollars). Biggi had begun a liaison of some sort with a Scientologist banker named Axel Rudel.

Biggi went to Flag for a handling. Her return ticket indicated she intended to stay for two weeks.  After four days at Flag, she was escorted to the airport by two Scientologists.   One of those escorts was reportedly OT VIII Rainer Bierman. Biggi flew back to Hamburg.  She took off in her car.

She spent three days at the horse ranch of her Scientologist friend Gloria Schluter.                     .

On the final day of her visit Biggi was found dead in the garage in her car.  Sleeping pills were spread about the front seat.  The car was fitted with a hose directing the exhaust into the seating compartment.  Autopsy determined she died of carbon monoxide poisoning; and that though she had consumed sleeping pills the dosage was not enough to have caused her death.  A will of sorts was left behind in Biggi’s hand distributing what few possessions she still owned.

Biggi’s scalp contained more than a dozen small third degree burns.  While each burn was about the size of a cigarette ember, they were determined forensically to not be cigarette burns.  Her hair did not appear to be burned; leading to the conclusion the burns were carefully administered.  The burns were determined to most likely have occurred while Biggi was in Florida.

Juergen Reichert disappeared and is not cooperating with police.  Gloria Schluter did not provide any substantive information.  The “church” has been mum, as per usual, as if it was a matter that its staff knew nothing about. And of course they provided none of the tomes of documents such matters by policy would require they write and file.  The United States government is reluctant to provide assistance to the German government in getting to the bottom of this, having been effectively bought off by David Miscavige’s agents.

Scientologists in good standing who inquired of the church about the disappearance of Biggi were lied to.  They were told that Biggi suddenly suffered a heart attack and died, period.

If anyone has any information leading to the resolution of the mystery surrounding the death of Biggi Reichert, please share them.  If you require anonymity, contact me at my secure address,

Please, if  you have any possibly relevant facts, pass them along for the benefit of Biggi.

Minimally, Biggi was abandoned by her “church” and her “friends”.

We apparently are the only friends she’s got left.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 30, 2011, 03:26:38 PM
Re: The Strange Case of Biggi Reichert: Suicide... with burn marks on the scalp?

    Mark Baker sent me a private message saying, understandably from his perspective and information he has, that he felt she should be left in peace with her decision to commit suicide, and lots of people with no real data were drumming up an unnecessary frenzy on rumor. I respect this direct message.

    Rather than continue rumor in answering him privately, I am posting publicly here.

    My comments and responses were not uneducated and unresearched. Since hearing of her death, I have spent about 400 hours researching this, including flying to Germany and meeting with sources involved in the investigation. As the file has officially been closed, my conversations were mostly off the record. In asking why they were willing to talk and share information with me, the responses were uniform in a feeling that something was wrong with the case, but did not have information or authority to re-open the file.

    There are several major things specifically brought up by credible and relevant sources that are red flags:

    One person stated that there was insufficient carbon monoxide in her blood to cause death. Nor were there fatal levels of sleeping pills/narcotics.

    That it was impossible that the burns on her head were self inflicted. The US government did not cooperate with German investigators who were able to ascertain that these burns occurred while she was in the united states. Thus jurisdictional complications.

    Her husband, early in the investigation said that this had nothing to do with Scientology, because it was just a religion. He remained uncooperative with the police. Documents found by her body indicate her intent to resolve issues in her life rather than end it.

    Scientology in Hamburg stated she had a heart attack. Further south, Frankfurt and Munich statements were she had sudden fatal cancer and died, also that she had a sudden fatal car accident. All three of which are lies.

    At least one COS staff member in Germany is actively intimidating people with the ability to re-open the case.

    There was no life insurance on her in Germany. Who borrows ten million euros, 16 million dollars without any life insurance? Who allows someone to borrow such sums without life insurance?

    There seems strong evidence of bank fraud on behalf of her husband, Hans Jurgan Reichert, to have gotten these massive loans. He is MIA, suspected of being hidden by the COS.

    I don't believe the COS had her killed, not their style under this type of circumstances. I am not so sure on her husband. I am fairly sure the COS is hiding stuff, especially concerning financial dealings and what happened to her at Flag.

    I do/did know Biggi, she would not want this left to rest ... she would want the truth uncovered. One of her favorite shows was Magnum PI, she used to love trying to figure out cover-ups, and was always fascinated by my COS intelligence background, feeling the ability to uncover the truth was a very powerful thing. I intend her no personal disrespect in her death.

    I am merely doing for her what I would expect she do for me if our positions were reversed.

    German privacy law does not allow for general release of autopsy reports and other documentation. My first intent was to find others who had more information and provide such to authorities.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 08, 2011, 09:45:09 PM
                  IAS Criminal Rip-off FRAUD entity, sucks it in ~~ no REFUND

Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 10, 2011, 03:53:47 PM
                Survival Insurance: Scientology -owned business goes bankrupt

Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 27, 2011, 03:43:25 PM
Feedback from the Issue of Thursday, October 27th, 2011
A A A Comments (0) Thursday, Oct 27 2011


A reformed Scientologist weighs in: Great article. I started Scientology in Phoenix in 1975. Wish you'd have done this article back then so I could have saved myself the large detour ("Pain in the Org," Ray Stern, October 13).

But the Scientology people who work in Phoenix were always nice by me. Dianne Koel and her husband, Les, were both at the Phoenix "org" when I went to it as a parishioner in 1975. Late in 1975, I [joined] the lifetime Scientology staffer religious order [called] Sea Org and spent 27 years in it.

I know and worked as a subordinate to both Linda and Tom Martiniano during their years in the upper echelons of the movement. Glad Tom is so candid about Scientology. Phoenix has several other even more senior ex-Scientology officials.

My thoughts are that official Scientology [should] just listen to these long-term, wise, independent Scientologists! Official Scientology ought to listen and learn something!

I'm a born-again atheist, so Scientology isn't my choice of activity. But I'm hopeful, like the excommunicated Phoenix staff member in the article who said he hopes the movement fixes itself and lets him rejoin. Further, I hope official Scientology reforms and lets all the independent Scientologists rejoin without any fuss — if the independents want!

Official Scientology has an intense organizational structure, all covered in detail by L. Ron Hubbard's staff-policy writings. It'd be nice to see official Scientology lower prices, stop harassment, and stop the nasty disconnections (excommunications).
Chuck Beatty, Pittsburgh

A "just cause" to Scientologists: Lunatic L. Ron Hubbard said, "Never fear to hurt another in a just cause" — and the brainwashed cult members consider their activities a "just cause," even if it means a breach of contract.
John Winter, Phoenix

Apparently, we are clueless and incorrect: If any other business or group had purchased this property, it would not have raised an eyebrow, and this article would not have been written.

Seems like New Slimes is going out of its way to malign a group of people for no reason other than a misguided attempt at "informing" on a subject they are clueless and incorrect about.

I feel sorry for the business owner in the story, but if this article is correct, it sounds like the previous owner was in foreclosure. [Scott Ruth] might have had to move regardless of whomever the new owners were.
John Gota, city unavailable

Take care when dealing with Scientologists: This guy [Scott Ruth] needs to be careful when dealing with Scientologists. There is a reason the group Anonymous protests them, as do many others.

Google the name "Operation Snow White." Under this official program, Scientology operatives committed infiltration and wiretapping. Also [Google] "Fair Game," the Scientology policy detailing how the organization may confront and handle critics and perceived enemies.
Name withheld

Vague ramifications for Scientology protesters: People who protested outside the Mesa Scientology center were followed by private investigators hired by the Scientologists. It got pretty bad for a couple of the protesters.
Name withheld

False pretenses abound: Scientology is science fiction — literally — based on a parlor trick that engages a basic human trait: the propensity of humans to cry, laugh, or feel nervous when presented with a stimulus such as the memory of a past event.

Whether the response (crying, laughing, or nervousness) is actual "healing" of that person's emotional pain from the past event or behavior is not proven by any scientific measure. While it yet may be proven, this response to stimuli is exploited by the originators of the group.

This group is based on false pretenses. Check out "re-evaluation co-counseling" on the web if you want a safer introduction to the same techniques used in Scientology. Some people find it a helpful counseling option.
Name withheld

A simple taxing solution: Just stop allowing tax deductions for contributions to religious organizations.

And while you are at it, stop giving people tax credits and deductions for having a dozen kids, often because their choice of religion [involves] some guy wearing a funny hat who doesn't think people should stick a condom on their dicks before having sex.

[And deny these credits to] the descendants of a flim-flam artist who started a cult so he could justify a dozen young women having sex with him.
Name withheld

Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 29, 2011, 01:46:26 PM
                             Thoughts on L. Ron Hubbard

10/28/2011                                         VCREPORTER

Re: “Off to the library” and regarding “Finding my religion”

That nice fellow who wrote in about his religion is sadly very wrong, He is not allowed to read the prolific truth available about Scientology on the net, and if he does read it he is told it is all lies by his bosses, who lie. They do find out on OT111 about Zenu and the space opera stuff. By that time they are so brainwashed they will believe anything. Now that the net has blown it wide open and people have been protesting all over the world, it is harder to hide from the facts. There is just enough good stuff in Scientology to get people hooked in the beginning. From there on out it is all about brainwashing, money and slave labor. It’s only a religion for tax purposes. I know this because I was there.

My entire family and many, many friends have been utterly and completely destroyed.

In the cult for years only to die of broken hearts, cancers and suicides.

Betrayed by our “church” when we were loyal, philanthropic, compassionate, spiritual thinkers, university grads, rich in ability and property, full of love for our fellow man and the desire to make a difference in the world.

We came, had a blast at first, the screws were tightened, we signed contracts, slept on floors, were enslaved, coerced into abortions, gave all of our money, time, energy, youth, some of our children, lost everything, lost most of our friends, first going in, then hundreds upon coming out.

L. Ron Hubbard lied. LRH was a lying, thieving, charming psychopath. He took some good stuff from many others, and used it to enslave us all, used me, stole my money, and betrayed me in the deepest, most primal kind of way.

O! I AM FINALLY FREE! (Of his brainwashing)

The N.Y. Village Voice has recently released a very long series of articles titled: The Top 25 People Crippling Scientology and No 1 is L. Ron Hubbard himself! Being dead for 25 years hasn’t stopped him from ruining his own cult. That’s your first link:

The overwhelming evidence:


Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 04, 2011, 06:02:49 PM
                             My $cientology Adventure     Part 1

    This is my first post here, so I guess I should tell my tale.

    The Saga

    I moved to San Francisco with buddy Frank Kuhl in January1972. Took up living in a communal house in Noe Valley for 3 months, doing drugs daily until the money I had saved ran out. Had a falling out with Frank when I found out he had been stealing from me. I moved out.

    A girlfriend got me a gig watching the house of this rich Psychiatrist in Palo Alto named Frank Gerbode. The Gerbode family was away at some place called the Saint Hill Academy in Sussex, England. I read some of the books in their library and what I read seemed cool (I had never seen small hard bound books like these). These books were marked with arcane looking symbols, and discussed a subject called Scientology. Being raised as a Christian, I did have concerns, but when I read “The Creed of the Church” and “The Code of Honor”, my fears were allayed. After all, the book said “it was against the laws of God to destroy or enslave another’s soul”. The book defined “truth” as what works with the idea that if it works for you, its true.

    Shortly after moving, I broke up with that girlfriend and found myself alone, living in a strange town. The only people I knew were drug dealers in the East Palo Alto ghetto war zone. One night at a party, I was the only white guy there and I was offered some heroin. I snorted a couple lines and scared myself silly. I liked it! I realized that I had reached a crossroads. I could turn back now, or keep heading forward on the same oblivion express that had consumed all of my icons (Jimi Hendrix, Janice Joplin, & Jim Morrison).

    I bailed on that scene. I stopped doing drugs, cold turkey. Needless to say, I felt like crap, raving and paranoid. I recall walking around the streets of Palo Alto, just knowing that people were watching me and talking about me behind my back. When the Gerbodes returned, I went to Frank ( whom everyone called “Sarge”) for help in getting over my problems. He agreed to give me some counseling, but insisted on a thing called exchange. I began taking care of his garden as well as other chores around the place.

    Instead of taking me to his office, Sarge took me to a small room upstairs in a small office building in downtown Palo Alto. He put some cans in my hand and asked a bunch of questions. After that, he introduced me to Mary, the registrar. She signed me up for a Communications Course, which cost $50.00. She let me put $20.00 down (all I had) and was taken to the course room.

    There I was introduced to the Scientology “small bite” method of learning. You read a page, you demo with clay, you get “checked out” by your supervisor. Even us reformed hippies with our damaged short term memories could get through courses that way.

    After reading a bit of bulletins we got into the drills called “TR’s” and we got paired up with another student to sit and stare at each other. I was on the course at the same time as Kurt Feshbach and another girl names Lidda. The supervisor was Penny Silber, wife of Marc Silber who was an auditor at the time. The mission was owned by Phil Spickler.

    I found a job at a local plumbing store and within a few months had earned enough to buy a bicyle and pay for my next course, which was called the HQS course. I believe that course cost $150.00 and included the Student Hat course. I was attending course every day. Since I had nothing else going on in my life, I didn’t mind the commitment.

    Toward the end of ’72 I moved into a communal house in Palo Alto with Steve and Kathy Hutchins & I continued the HQS Course which also included co-auditing all of the objectives. I was paired with Steve Longbotham for quite a bit of the time. Both of us tended to go into glee during the tedium of hours of objective processing. Other people I knew there were Mary Ribero, Barbara Slatkin, Davina Rubin, Patricia and Denny Reyling, as well as Debbie White. I also met Kurt Feshbach’s older brothers: Matt and Joe. A good number of the mission clientele lived in Atherton, a wealthy town north of Palo Alto, where the minimum lot size was one acre, with property values beginning at a million dollars an acre just for the lot.

    During this time, the Palo Alto Mission moved to its upscale new location in an old mansion on Middlefield Road. The course room was the former living room, with beautiful French windows. Upstairs, was the HGC where Sarge, Gerald French and Marc audited under the C/Sing of Mimi Spickler (later Mimi Rogers who was 16 at the time.) During this time, numerous celebrities were in and out. The most notables being 49ers star QB, John Brodie and Dr. Hal Putoff of SRI. Mary, the registrar was very helpful. She pointed out that there were two ways to get up the bridge (Hubbard’s path to enlightenment). The first was the Auditing route which was fast but expensive (Auditing was $35.00 an hour). The second was the training route where you co-audit as part of your training. Considering my economics, I chose the training route.

    Somewhere in this time I finally had enough money to buy an old VW van, which I fixed up and drove. I took up with a girl named Penny Commons. I moved into a house with her and two of her girlfriends. That lasted a month, since the owner was a fundamentalist Christian who considered our living arrangement sinful. Penny & I broke up and I lived in my van for a while.

    In Spring of 1973 I got my own apartment. It was old and tiny. I fixed up the place and built a loft bed. By this time I had finished my co-audit of the objectives and had enough to kick out $500 for the Dianetics Course.

    Note that at this time, the Palo Alto mission was really a nice place to be. Everyone was friendly. Needless to say, the mest was upstat. The building was beautiful and well maintained. Phil drove a beautiful Tran-Am that John Brodie had given him. Phil gave Sunday lectures every Sunday evening and there would be music. I recall hearing Amanda Ambrose perform. Frequently, the center (as it was called) would hold parties, which were catered affairs with champagne and hors doeuvres. It was obvious that there was a certain class structure, based on ones income & education, but all seemed welcome, none the less.

    We also went to events. I recall that a group of us went to an event in San Francisco where we heard a talk by LRH’s son Quentin. The talk was filled with references to space ships and recent galactic history. The sci-fi buff in me ate this stuff up.

    I met Betsy Withers(now Betsy White) at one of the parties held at the mission and we immediately hit it off. We began dating. Her mother didn’t like me because I didn’t quite fit into the strata of society that she felt she and her daughter did( I wasn’t rich.) But, Betsy and I had fun and sang together. We performed for Sunday Services on several occasions, and even once went and played at the Los Gatos mission one Sunday evening.

    My co-auditing with Steve continued as well as a few other students. One lady (Gisselle McDonald, I believe) that I audited had tremendous wins and thanked me so profusely that I thought that this is something that I might want to do for a living. I was thoroughly indoctrinated now into the goal of a civilization without war and insanity. Hey! This stuff worked! One of the things that every course stressed was that an auditor was the most valuable being on the planet. I took the ministers course and went up to the San Francisco Org to be ordained. I recall the high of walking around the streets of San Francisco in my minister get up.

    I completed my Dianetics and attested to case completion, as well. It was at this point that I had to make a decision. My next step on the training route was the Dianetic Internship and the Academy Levels. The price of these courses added up to about $1800 and was well beyond my means. However, Mary worked out a loan from an HGC PC named Eva Lauk that I could repay by auditing her kids grades, when I got back from my training. About that time I lost my job at the plumbing store (a whole other story). So I went off to the org for training.

    My first impression of the org was “What a dump”. They had 2 floors of the building on McCallister and it was old and buggy. There was a huge picture of Hubbard in the courseroom and each day the staff and students would stand and applaud this picture. The people there weren’t as friendly as the mission people, either. At one point I recall getting called into ethics for spreading “verbal tech.” I had been talking with someone about some of the stories Quenin Hubbard had said, and a staff member overheard.

    But, I enjoyed auditing. I managed to survive my time on course. Statistics were pushed more here than in the mission, but I soon adapted to the routine. The internships were awkward, due to the availability of preclears to audit. If I had begun my Scientology in this bleak and unfriendly a place, I doubt that I would have stayed, but I learned the ropes and I finally completed my training and routed off. My goal was to go be an HGC auditor. Betsy and I moved into an apartment together in Mountain View.

    By now it was early 1975. I was a brand new Interned Class IV Auditor and I talked to Phil about a job working in his HGC. He didn’t need me (I knew it was that class thing again, but I didn’t push it). Instead he sent me to Stevens Creek mission to talk to the mission holder Kinsley Wimbush. The place was not as posh and impressive as the Palo Alto mission, but it was bigger, more youthful and energetic. Kingsley, an older Australian fellow, allowed the mission to be run by a young couple. The ED was Clay Primrose and the Senior C/S was his wife Eli. I fit right in with the people there and I began to audit. Shortly thereafter Betsy and I moved into an apartment right across the street from the mission and I hung my certs in my own auditing room. Betsy routed onto staff as a tech services staff.

    People had fun then! After hours we would sit around and sing songs. Holidays were celebrated with parties. One of the high points was when Michael Silverman, the traveling reg for AOLA, would show up. He performed card tricks and illusions that astounded everyone. Auditing was still reasonably priced and pre-clears were plentiful. In addition to paying public it was policy for staff to get auditing. I had numerous pcs then. I audited staff members Cheryl Horan and Dave Langley. I audited public pcs like Rick Schott and Milla Perry. There were other people I knew at the time, ranging from Kingsley’s mum Eileen Wimbush, his brother Bernie Wimbush and his wife Coralie to Patricia and Mike Toth.

    The only problem, if any, was the pay system. Instead of hours, each person turned in “units”. After all of the expenses were subtracted, including sending huge amounts of money uplines, the remainder was divided by the total number of units. That gave the value of the unit. Ideally a unit =a dollar (or more!) Usually, it was the other way. Betsy’s mom wasn’t happy about our situation and she began to pressure Betsy.

    Somewhere in that time period, I got into a game to audit 100 hours in a week. With planning on the DTS part, and back up staff pcs, I managed to pull it off. Of course, the unit that week was only 2.5, so I ended up making $250.00. I was underwhelmed. Not much of a reward for a “most valuable being on the planet” to get.

    I was however getting a reputation as a good auditor, so the mission sent me off to LA to get case cracker training. I was sent to ASHO(pre-Cedars) to get the new XDN training and internship. Here I ran into my first taste of Sea Org life. This place was another dump. The place seemed to be a converted warehouse with no air conditioning. It was filthy and the staff there reeked. I witnessed staff sleeping on the sofas in the pc waiting area. The auditing rooms were little fiberboard cubicles, with no soundproofing. The training went okay, but the internship was another story. Most of the pcs were not ready for XDN on the grade chart. I spent a lot of time doing reviews or other actions. These cases were in awful shape. Some were sea org folk with horrible tales of what it was like. Some were psychotic. At one point, I was finally given a public pc that actally needed XDN actions (meaning that they had rockslams in their folder) . Considering the nature of the case, this action was entirely out gradient, and to make matters worse, the C/S insisted that I tape the session. This pc went psychotic in session and refused to continue. The pc left without going to exams afterward. The C/S went ballistic and threatened me with a retrain from the ground up. As it turned out, I was in cramming for two weeks after that fiasco.

    Here is also where I learned about the “changing nature” of standard tech. First of all, nothing in the tech was ever indexed until the Tech Volumes were printed. It was all arranged in chronological order in binders. If one didn’t know the date of something, or the date of the bulletin that cancelled or amended it, one was out of luck. Certain case supervisors, had penchants for certain aspects of the tech, and would cram until auditors got with their style. After a while, most auditors got to loathing any change of C/S. To make matters worse, the sea org C/Ss were more brutal than the worst org C/S I had. I recall one day when I was given a cram for doing something that I knew I had been trained to do. I searched the Qual library for several hours, but could not find the reference, so, once again, I accepted that I was wrong and did the cram. After a while, I learned that it was easier to just go along with the flow. I was a high ARC auditor, and since I was somewhat empathic, I tended to operate on my feelings more and more. I found that the record keeping system, very often did not convey what was accurately going on in session, as it was difficult to translate the mood of the pc into “indicators”. I often found myself at odds with the C/S over the proper way to handle the pc, but considering the brutal nature of cramming, I eventually just went along with the program and gave the C/S what they needed to see.

    It was here that I now realize that my viewpoint had been shifted from the promised “Whats true, is what works for you,” to “If it doesn’t work, I must have a misunderstood.” The danger of this shift of viewpoint was that this made LRH 100% right about everything. Of course, at the time I was “proud to be on source!”

    In addition, during the time that I was away, John & Claire Woodruff returned from their advanced training at the new Flag Land Base. They brought that hard core-“ been around the Sea Org” level of dedicated unfriendliness back to the mission with them. John replaced Clay as ED. Claire replaced Eli as senior C/S and proceeded to make the entire HGC staff miserable with huge cramming orders and general unpleasantness. Eventually, Betsy (who was also friendly and genuinely helpful) got yelled at and crammed enough that she gave up and routed off staff. Betsy got a wog job. Anything non-scientology was considered “wog.” Hubbard used the term, which was actually a 19th Century British racist term for anything non-white.

    After I returned, I went back to auditing. Life was getting tough. I spent a lot of time in cramming, getting used to Claire’s out arc C/Sing style, which meant my auding hours were low. The unit was in the dumper, on top of that, and bills began piling up. Betsy and I talked about our finances. We decided that I should get a job in the wog world too.

    I talked around with contacts in my former field and lined up a really well paying job in plumbing sales. I was accepted for the position, depite the fact that job was in another city.

    Here is where the proverbial “do-do hit the fan”. I gave my notice, just like I would in any normal job. I was told that that “wasn’t policy”. Policy said that to route off, I had to find my own replacement. It was an impossibility that I was going to find someone with my training in that short a time, so I balked. I continued to go in and work, with the intention of finishing the preclears that I was currently auditing. I certainly didn’t want my leaving to affect their cases. After all, I believed in the “Auditor’s Code. Of course the DTS kept assigning me new pcs despite my protests. I was sent to cramming by the C/S for “refusing pc’s.” I still protested. .” I made it clear that I was to start my other job on a certain date, regardless.

    Eventually, I was sent to the San Francisco Org to see the Ethics Officer. John Woodruff was there, along with the Org MAA. They were both shouting at me that I was blowing staff, which was a suppressive act, and that I was PTS to my girlfriend who was PTS to her mom. I was threatened with being declared, if I didn’t break up with Betsy and stay on staff.

    I was shocked! Suppressive act? Me? One of the “most valuable beings on the planet?” Here I had given up several years of my life, doing something that I believed helped people. This is where I officially compromised with my own reality. I caved under the threat of being declared, and went along with the program. This was the first time I set aside my personal needs for the “good of the group.” I will never forget the sickly feeling I had during my drive home from the org.

    I let Betsy know that I was disconnecting from her. She broke down in tears and went home to her mother’s. I felt about two feet tall for doing that. Eventually, Betsy handled her mom and got a job as receptionist at Palo Alto mission. I passed up the job opening and remained on staff. My reward for my show of loyalty to the group was to be put on the list for advanced training.
    Initially I stayed with my friends, Jim and Mary Jo Hyland. They were both div 6 regges, and owned their own home. I stayed with them until my brief affair with Jan Welda. After Jan & I broke up, I moved into a Scientologist commune house with Paul Chalupski and Jon Perry.

    Six months or so after I sent Betsy away, I started seeing her again. We were still really in love and since working back in the high ARC environment of the Palo Alto mission, Betsy was okay with me being on staff. We made plans to marry when I was sent to LA for my Briefing Course. Early in 1977, that took place. John Woodruff came down and performed the wedding ceremony at my Mother’s house in Monrovia. Betsy and I found an apartment in the Hollywood hills and I routed onto the Briefing Course still at the old ASHO building (still Pre Cedars).

    The Briefing Course itself consisted of listening to hours of LRH lectures on big Reel to Reel Tape Recorders. Since keeping stats up were an important part of our training, most of us soon learned that a bit of scotch tape on the tape drive wheel, made the tapes run a wee bit faster. LRH’s voice was a bit higher pitched, but still was easily understood.


Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 04, 2011, 06:04:15 PM
                          Part 2

Not like there was much to miss; most of the tapes were filled with his off-topic useless expositions about every subject known to man. Of course this level of training was touted as the equivalent of a masters level of education, we were supposed to get LRH’s viewpoint on the tech. What I ended up with was getting LRH’s viewpoint on every subject he could speak about, from art to Zulus. I heard his tales of the evil suppressive persons that kicked him out of Rhodesia, and how this spurred him to new technical discoveries. I listened to the man’s racism and distrust of any groups other than his own. I listened to his paranoia and his supposed persecution by everyone from a “cartel of international bankers” to the “criminal organization INTERPOL.” I learned how and why the sea org was founded and I absorbed it all, like a mindless sponge. This was a man with a vision. This man had dedicated his life to saving humanity. Ron was the savior of mankind, and we were fortunate that he left this collection of recordings to instruct us. I found it easy now to stand and applaud the omnipresent photo of LRH.
    I was so gung ho that I could overlook the living hell that life in the Sea Org encompassed.

    At the completion of each course, one step of the course completion routing form was to visit the Sea Org Recruiter. Here, tremendous pressure is exerted to get people to join. Even contracted mission and org staff were not immune to the pressure. Fortunately, I had learned long before to just smile and tell them that I had taken LSD. They immediately just signed me off and sent me on my way. People who had taken LSD (“the psychiatrist’s gift to man” per LRH) were ineligible to join the sea org.

    The Briefing Course consisted of quite a few checksheets, and each one was considered a course completion, which meant that the last part of the course completion checksheet, was the obligatory “success story” and exam. In the beginning I would actually write what I perceived to be wins on these “success stories,” but after a while for the sake of expedience (and the fact that everywhere I turned another form was stuck in front of me), I eventually got to the point of scribbling a smiley-face or some other “happy thought.” God forbid that you didn’t do one, and God forbid that you didn’t FN at the exam that followed. (Of course, an “ARC break needle” looks like a float, and as long as you have a smile, they can’t tell that you are ARC broken.)

    I finished my BC and routed onto the internship, just as ASHO moved into the newly refurbished Cedars complex. This was going to be quick and easy, so I sent Betsy back to get things set up in Santa Clara. I moved into the cheap hotel near ASHO, and Betsy got an apartment and a job back in Santa Clara. Needless to say, she chose a pretty nice place.

    The internship did not go smoothly. There were virtually no pcs that needed class VI auditors. Most staff were on dianetics, or were too busy to be audited. There were very few public pcs , and most of them were on repairs of some sort. I recall, running most of the grades processes from correction lists. The internship took 3 months to complete.

    I returned and began auditing at Stevens Creek again around Fall of ’78. Betsy and I had drifted apart. She had a life of her own, and my work at the mission took most of my time. I grew to resent her demands on the little free time I had remaining. At one point, our discussion brought up my contract with Stevens Creek mission. When she found out that I had signed 5 years of my life away in exchange for the BC, she totally freaked out. Right after Christmas, she announced that she was leaving me for some guy at her work. I was so upset that didn’t protest. Later, I got an ARC break session at the mission. There was no reason to patch things up from the group’s point of view, so no pressure to save the marriage was imposed. Betsy and I divorced and she moved to Maryland.

    I got back into my auditing with a vengeance. I used my leverage as a class six to specialize in being a repair auditor. I asked for the tough cases, and got a reputation as a “case cracker.” I proudly hung my BC cert on the wall of my auditing room. Of course, as time went on, I was auditing more staff than public. It was around this time that the policy on price raises began to go into effect. Each month was to be 5% higher than the last to encourage people to pay in advance. It worked on me. I went and borrowed $3,000 from my mother and plunked it down for the OT package (CC-OTVIII, I believe.)

    This was a time of great change in Scientology. The entire grade chart was revamped. The Purification Rundown was added to the bridge, and all staff and public were required to do it, so, being the good little Scientologist that I was, I did it. I ran until my knees nearly gave out. I sat in the Sauna until I was nicely baked. Fortunately, I was still moderately healthy and suffered no long term damage from the mega-doses of vitamins and niacin. I used the “PURIF”(as it was called)” as an excuse to quit smoking. I hated the taste of cal-mag. I likened it to the TV commercial for a feminine hygiene product that said, “Its vinegar and water. The kind doctors recommend.”

    It was also during this time that New Era Dianetics came out. This added another couple of mandatory steps on the grade chart that needed to be done (or re-done) by everyone. This included people, such as myself that had previously attested to dianetics case completion. As a result, there were numerous people upset. Most of us reformed hippies had to re-do our drug rundowns. But first we had to get trained in NED (as it was called.)

    All auditors were required to retrain on this revised approach to Dianetics. We could do the course at our missions, but the internship was mandated: Flag, only. I was sent off to Florida for my NED internship. Needless to say, there was a certain mystique about being sent to Flag, the “Mecca of Technical Perfection.” When I got there, any illusions I had about the place were shattered. I was coming as staff, not public, so, the living accommodations were pretty dank. 8 people had to share a room. At least ours had a working shower. Some of the ones I saw didn’t. I understand that the accommodations for Org Staff were worse and Sea Org Staff were beyond worse. While the lobby and most public areas were quite nice, the rest of the place was squalid. Very little air conditioning, meant that the high humidity kept everything damp. There were bugs everywhere. Of course, like all other scientology orgs, everyone smoked, everywhere, so the place reeked. I had not noticed this before, having been a smoker, myself.

    Since I was staff, I ate with the Sea Org people. There was a separate dining area for paying public that actually had menus. Here we ate cafeteria style with little or no choice of food. I saw the RPF people in jumpsuits with their gray rags and was told not to talk to them. They got to eat after we did. Nobody told me that they only got to eat what we left. Like a good little Scientologist, I assumed that this was all being done for the best interests of the group and didn’t give it a second thought.

    The NED internship was fraught with problems! First off, this was around the time that “Dianetic Clear” came out. Because of this, and the fact that they had hundreds of people doing the NED internship, there was a shortage of dianetic pcs at Flag. There were, however, a backlog of pcs needing repairs and correction lists. The C/S at flag (a class XII, Ray Mitoff,I believe) insisted that anybody auditing in his HGC had to be trained on the level they audited at flag, so despite the fact I was an interned Class VI auditor, I couldn’t apply my skills until I had been checked out by the supervisor at Flag. I was sent to the course room and was quickly walked through the levels procedures so that I had permission do correction lists at Flag. Of course one or two items on correction lists involved running dianetics. Those were the sessions I taped, and that is how I did my “NED Internship at Flag,” running correction lists on upset cases.

    I got back and there were lots of pcs that needed dianetics, now that the grade chart was redone. Of course, many people were upset with the fact that they had to redo things they felt they had already done, and, to add insult to injury, the price of auditing was climing through the roof. Cases started crashing everywhere. Stats were crashing. Nobody was heading to higher orgs. Cases were getting bogged. It was difficult auditing during this time period, because preclears would be coming into sessions, worried that they wouldn’t have enough auditing hours paid for to achieve their goal. The more they worried, the more correction lists needed to be done, which ate up more time. It was a vicious cycle that produced very little case gain.

    Suddenly, Dianetic clear was announced. This solved everything as far as pc flow to the advanced orgs. Everybody and their brother (including me) was suddenly attesting to clear. That meant a brief trip to the San Francisco Org to get the state “rehabbed.” I attested to the “state of clear” on 22 December 1978. I was clear number 12,129. It was nice to know that “I was no longer mocking up my reactive mind.” Of course I never do recall gaining all of the other abilities one is supposed to get when they are clear, like perfect memory and never getting ill, but I felt pretty good at the time.

    Of course, since I already had my OT levels paid for, there was now pressure to get them delivered. Since things were slow in the HGC, I went off to LA, again, to do my OT levels. Hoo boy! I was so excited. Even when I had to buy a couple hours of OT preps. OT preps were basically confessionals to protect the “secrecy” of the OT levels. It didn’t take long to convince them that I was OK, since I was an “on-purpose” staff member (having basically thrown the rest of my life in the dumper for the good of the group.)

    The whole affair was done with the greatest amount of melodrama I was ushered to the door where I knocked and was admitted. I signed out a copy of the solo course materials and locked them in my briefcase, which was chained to my wrist. I went across to the secure course-room and knocked. The supervisor admitted me. The level of secrecy and the security measures made things exciting. Since I was an experience auditor, the solo course went quick. I routed onto OT1. Ooh! The contents of OT 1 were a disappointment. I did the drills and had a win. Next I routed onto OT 2. This took a couple of days to audit, consisting of reading off lists of items from the R6 Bank and running the ones that read on the meter. I did experience some relief on this level. The pressure was building… I was about to crack the “wall of fire!”

    Let me take some time as an aside, right here. I was always a fan of science fiction. I had read everything from Asimov to Zelazney. I even enjoyed the pulp works by E.E.Doc Smith and several of the British authors, such as John Wyndham. I had read some of Hubbard’s early pulp stuff and found it acceptable. Nothing prepared me for the shock that was OT3. I read the pack. It was a cheesy Sci-fi story handwritten by Ron and badly Xeroxed. My first impression was, “And this is a big deal?” Perhaps I had read too much science fiction, but I wasn’t that stunned by the news of being covered with clusters of dead thetans. I really missed the point that that was what this level (and the rest of the bridge) was all about.

    However, I did the drills. Like everything else, I was conditioned to base my judgment on the adage, “What works, is what works for you.” The stuff produced meter reads when I addressed parts of the body and produced floating needles when they seemed to be handled, so I bought it. Eventually I couldn’t find any more BT’s so I attested.

    After that I went through OT4, which I actually don’t recall very much of. Keep in mind that these were the “Old OT” levels. All of the abilities gained for these levels were listed in the book 0-8, The book of basics, though they were no longer posted on the grade chart. I stumbled through OT5 and then did OT6 which was supposed to leave me “stably exterior.” (Yeah! right!) I did the drills. I never got anyone to send me a postcard, but I did pop out of my head briefly enough to attest. Then I did OT7 which was just a rehash of OT1, from an “exterior” viewpoint. Since OT8 wasn’t released, I still had it paid for when it was (Leaving $800 on account at AOLA). I had gone as far as the grade chart allowed. I felt great. I went home where I could be a living example that this tech worked!

    When I got back to the mission, they had a new/old receptionist, Teri Grant. She was a former staff member from the early 70’s who was back after a long hiatus. She was attracted to long haired musician types and we hit it off quite well. Toward the end of the year we moved in together in a house along with Brian and Jean Bergantz.

    By now, life as an HGC auditor was getting difficult. The high cost of auditing had severely cut into the number of pc’s available. This was also a time when there were a lot of people on “persistent F/Ns. Needless to say hours were down. Here I was, an OT who was having a difficult time finding people to audit. Something was wrong. I recall many hours of sessions, where I was trying to spot why I was pulling all this in. Never really came to any conclusions. It seemed that this was happening to everyone at the mission. We all wrote up our overts and withholds until our pens ran out of ink, but conditions didn’t really improve.

    During this time my romance with Teri got serious and we married in the summer of 1980. Friends at the time included John & Linda Berryman, Darlene & Paul Friccero, Mark & Scott Chambers, Mike Scandling, John & Milla Perry, Marion & Dan Fumento, Marta Epp, Jim Keller, Ed Paulson, Dave Mowbray, and John & Linda Allender.

    The following Spring, Teri gave birth to my son, Derek. This is when things got really rough! There were virtually no PC’s to audit. Few staff members had their ethics conditions high enough to allow them to get auditing. I took a day job, as an inspector in an electronics factory. John Woodruff suggested that I take the causative approach and go work in div 2 as a registrar. I was expected to use the tech to close sales, since I knew what the pc’s would need.

    My training for the post consisted of someone handing me a Les Dane book of closing techniques (the same book car salesmen read). Of course the other regges got to keep most of their regular prospects. I was required to scour the course room and call people who had bought books. I managed to sell a few things, but I seemed to lack the correct “go for the throat” instinct needed to get people to write counter checks when they had no money, or call the bank to raise the limit on their, already over extended, credit cards. I did witness a guy who was coerced to sell his house for a loss (in a booming real estate market) just so the sale would come in by 2pm on Thursday. (I was the guy that ended up auditing him on the upset, using the hours he had just paid for.)

    To make matters worse, the house, that Teri & I were renting, was sold to a new owner that wanted to live in it, so, we were all evicted. Teri and I lined up the only place that we could afford on my meager pay. It was a hovel in the barrio that was owned by a Vietnamese family. This was around the time when Derek was sick, his face covered with violent red blotches. That had to have been the worst Christmas season I ever spent!

    Then I heard that the Palo Alto Mission was looking for Auditors. Phil Spickler had sold the mission to Sarge Gerbode. Sarge had gone and purchased an old Mormon church and remodeled it into a really cool center. He and I talked about it, and we ended up working out a deal where he bought my contract from Steven’s Creek Mission for about $10,000, if I remember correctly. The best pert of the deal for me, was that Sarge guaranteed his auditors a living wage. Teri & I moved to Palo Alto and rented a modest condo, near the mission. Life was good again.


Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 04, 2011, 06:04:51 PM
                               Part 3

Months later, I recall seeing Sarge one day. He looked upset. In fact he was looking quite gray. He had just come back from the infamous mission holder’s conference in San Francisco. At the time, he was not allowed to talk about it, but I could tell that something was wrong. This was shortly before people began hearing about a Successful program that Kingsley Wimbush had discovered. Word of his discovery had begun spreading like wildfire amongst the mission network. The program was called de-dinging and it was used to get the staff and public fired up and back on purpose. The main point of de-dinging was discovered during an eval Kingsley had done. He had found a thing creeping around Scientology that he referred to as “subtle internal suppression”. The very “out-arc” that we all had noticed, but could do nothing about, was the barrier. Stevens Creek Mission’s stats soared and when the word got out, other mission holders tried it too, with great success. It was obvious that the correct why had been found.

    How did the church take this? This was treated like the highest form of heresy! Kingsley and most of his staff were expelled from the church. The church sent out sea org members to all of the missions. They called themselves the Finance Police, and they carried the power to expel anyone who did not comply with their orders immediately. The first thing they did that affected me was to put all of the mission staff payroll back on policy. The subsidy stopped. The mission accounts were seized. My pay dropped by 95% overnight. We could no longer afford our condo rent, so we moved into a two room cabana (can you say, shack) in the back yard of Van & Kathy Wilheit. I lined up another day job and only audited at night.

    After a couple of miserable months, Teri lined up another place for us to stay. We ended up doing house sitting for her friends, Eric and Kathy Weaver, but our relationship was beginning to suffer from the deprivation. Besides the fact that I was never at home, Teri and I fought a lot about money during this time. I had promised Teri before Derek was born, that she could be a stay at home mom. I hadn’t been able to keep my promise. Things kept going from bad to worse and I was not dealing with things very well. I felt trapped by my circumstances and angry. Being an OT, meant that the only place I could go for case handling was AOLA, and I had no money for that. I kept getting angrier, and because of our case level difference, I had no one to confide in. Eventually, Teri got so frustrated with me and upset that she left.

    The day I got my paycheck for $9.75 for a weeks work, I quit staff entirely. I moved into a rooming house owned by a Scientologist. I will not mention their name, because this is where I began to find information that differed with the official church story. Somewhere in this period, I listened to the first Zegal tape. This had a lot of info on it about some of the major changes going on in the church. It also described the church’s secret base in Hemet, California, complete with it’s half million dollar ship replica built by sea org slave labor, as well as telling the tale of David Mayo’s expulsion and his subsequent founding of the Advanced Ability Center.

    About this time I learned that my Ex-wife Betsy was back on lines at Stevens Creek mission, having divorced the guy she moved to Maryland with. She had recently attested to Dianetic Clear and was ready to go do her OT levels. Betsy wanted to borrow my E-meter so that she could do her solo levels. Since I wasn’t using it, I agreed. I attended a family get together with her and the Reylings. Sitting around talking, the discussion led to the subject of dissatisfaction with the church. I started spouting info that I had heard from some of the Zegal tapes. Everyone seemed interested so I told them all about it. This was a mistake, I later found out.

    One holiday weekend, I decided to take a road trip to check things out for myself. With my son in his baby seat beside me,I drove south to Hemet. Having lived in Riverside County many years in the past, I was somewhat familiar with the area. I drove up the main highway that goes through the church property and was astounded to see the masts of a schooner ship rising over part of a fenced off area. I stopped and snapped a picture of it. I drove on a bit and saw a gate with a guard-house. The sign said, ”Golden Era Studios.” I stopped my car to take another picture.

    At this point a fellow on a 3 wheeled motor scooter pulls up. He has a pistol on his belt. He asks me what I am doing there. I told him checking out what I had heard. He asked if I was a Scientologist. I said yes. He told me that this area was top secret and that I wasn’t supposed to tell anyone about it. He asked who I heard about it from and I made up a name and gave it to him. He told me to leave, so I did. I drove up the road a mile or so. Then I turned around and came back, snapping photos as I drove by.

    I drove back north, but I came up the coast and stopped in Santa Barbara. I looked up the address of the AAC, and found it. I found a small, but busy center. I talked to David Mayo. He certainly didn’t seem to be a raving SP. In fact, I found him quite personable and genuinely concerned about getting the maximum amount of case gain for the greatest number of people. They had the entire bridge available at pre-price-raise prices. I loaded up on literature to bring back with me. As I was walking down the driveway to leave, I looked up and I saw Sarge Gerbode and his wife. He had come down to check things out too.

    Shortly, thereafter I received a letter from Betsy, saying that she was disconnecting from me. Apparently, things that I had said, came up in her OT preps. She also informed me that she was keeping the E-meter, since I was now on ethics lines.

    This was the last straw I needed to conclude that the church was in suppressive hands. I contacted the regges at AOLA, and demanded my advance payment back. I also informed Betsy that her keeping the meter was theft. Since she was on line at AOLA, her simplest solution was pay me off. She mailed me a check to pay for the meter and I was instructed to go to Steven’s Creek Mission/org to get my refund. This was March of 1984.

    I cruised in and they had an arc break session waiting for me. I declined the session, saying that I wasn’t arc broken, and I was given the warning, “You know that by accepting the repayment, you will be losing all your friends, don’t you?” I played the sincere “but I really need the money” approach and stuck to my guns. They got me to sign some bullshit release forms and handed me a check. I raced out and cashed it as quickly as possible.


Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 09, 2011, 03:59:46 PM
                      Sheila Huber on Scientology -- Part 1 Preview!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 23, 2011, 06:33:45 PM
Looks like the flim project is pretty much a go, go, go.
It won't be pussyfooting around either since the alleged scientology harrassment aspect is a fundamental element to the strange story.

Could Ryan Gosling Team Up With Gaspar Noé For ‘The Golden Suicides’?
By Nathan Adams. December 21, 2011

Is there a chance that current Hollywood it boy Ryan Gosling could be working with super weird Argentine director Gaspar Noé (Irréversible, Enter the Void) on his next project? If you listen to author Bret Easton Ellis (“American Psycho”), there is. Here’s the story so far: Ellis has been working on a screenplay for a while, it’s called The Golden Suicides, and it’s about the true story of artist couple Jeremy Blake and Theresa Duncan, who killed themselves back in 2007, allegedly after harassment from the Church of Scientology.

Originally Gus Van Sant was meeting to come on and direct Ellis’s screenplay, but that fell apart for one reason or another, so eventually the job went to Noé. Now that there is a director in the bag, it’s time to find a leading actor, and Ellis seems to have his sights on Gosling.

Recently he’s been taking to his Twitter account to tease followers about the fact that Gosling is close to signing on to the project. Last week he was saying things like, “Ryan Gosling is going to have to wait this year out and then win the Oscar for playing Jeremy Blake in The Golden Suicides,” and this week he’s been tweeting details of a meeting he, Gosling, and Noé had at the Chateau Marmont. In addition to talking about how good Gosling looks eating an apple, Ellis also stated, “Ryan came to meet Gaspar Noé who is directing The Golden Suicides. The 25 year-old broke up with me when I said we couldn’t stay for dinner.”

If Gosling’s already jam-packed schedule would allow him to sign on for this project and work with Noé, it would be a pairing of an actor who is making maybe the most interesting performance choices in Hollywood today with a director whose choices start at interesting and then go somewhere you could never anticipate. I don’t know about you, but it sounds like a match made in heaven to me. I guess we’ll all just have to keep following Ellis’s Twitter account to see how this thing plays out.

If you’ve yet to read about Blake and Duncan, check out the article that started it all, Nancy Jo Sales’s piece at Vanity Fair. [The Playlist]

Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 29, 2011, 10:16:36 PM
Let me introduce myself

                                          GETTING OFF THE FENCE

    I've been lurking here for a couple of years now so perhaps it is about time for me to come out.

    It was 1977 when I first found scientology as a 17 year old. I had just been dismissed from my first job as a bank teller on account of smoking too much weed and getting my numbers mixed up. So having nothing to do I thought I would go into the city (Sydney).

    I had just exited the railway station at central when I was met by the woman with huge breast and an engaging smile ( I later learned her name was Cathy Nitche) and she asked me if I would like to do a survey. I said "sure" and before long I was inside having my personality test marked.

    The person who discussed my test results was a lady full of warmth and empathy by the name of Peggy. She seemed to take a real interest in me and a sister I have who has been mentally disabled for years. I would run into Peggy a few times in later days and I was amazed when she would remember our conversation and enquire how my sister was going. She never realised but the fact that she cared has always meant a great deal to me.

    Well I was reg'ed for the comm course and introduced to the master of the comm course - Nick Cramey. He was the most amazing bull baiter I have ever met and his charm and gregarious nature just made it so much fun for all the participants. The way the RPF later destroyed his soul was criminal but that is another story.

    Well before long I had signed up for Fdn staff thanks to some excellent salesmanship by Peter Bevan the HCO recruiting officer. There was also Graeme Barrat, the HCO Sec who was an engineer by trade but a better manager. He ran a tight ship.

    I met up with Barbara Ovens (later Allsop) and we used to earn some money singing for supper at a restaurant and the Rocks. She worked in the Guardians Office and was in charge of Social Co-ordination at the time and reporting to Audrey Devlin - a lady who had "presence" by the bucket load.

    During Fdn hours I was expediting and one of my first postings was as course admin to David Graham. On the first night of my posting I came dressed like a mafia hit man with a hat, dark glasses, pointy shoes and a very loud shirt. I sat at the desk and put my feet upon it. David gave me one of those "Oh Boy" type looks and you could just feel the thoughts of the students saying "Out Valence!" Well I did last long in the post and moved right along to treasury try to put by banking skills to good use. Terri Morriset was the Treasury Sec and very efficient she was too. She was married to an American name Les Morriset.

    Barbara (Barbi) thought it would be good for her stats if we did some entertainment work by going round to nursing homes and cheering up the retirees there. We rounded up a travelling show with Chris Duffy (a fabulous banjo player), Jim Doone (an eccentric gentleman who would regale with old broadway standards) a lady named Harriet who could sing and do comedy plus Barbi and myself with the guitar. We seemed to do well for a while until there were other stats to push but it was fun while it lasted.

    Just so you don't think that I liked everyone I came across there are a few that I'm happy never to see again (please forgive my spelling):- Phyll Stevens, Glen Bourne, Gwenda Bourne, Keiran O'Leary, Mark Whitta. There will be others who's names I just can't remember for now.

    Anyway this is turning into a long post so I'll give you all a breather and come back later with part 2.

                                Part 2

As a 17 year old I was pretty mixed up. Some would say I have low emotional intelligence which is just another way of saying I was immature and naive. I lasted just a year on Fdn staff but I got up to a lot of mischief in that time. For a long time I was besotted with another staff member named Sally. I learned that all the "tech" cannot make someone fall in love with you although I gave it a bloody good try. I also stole money from the Org and although I could justify by saying that I had no job or means of support at the time, I am very sorry for what I did - knowing that others were also living below subsistence at the time. I came clean about a year after blowing and I remember David Graham doing my HCO sec check before I was duly declared.

In 1984 I had stabilised my life, had a steady job and decided to do a conditions by dynamic analysis of my life. Part of that program involved paying off all my debts which included my freeloader bill and the monies i'd stolen. I came back into the fold under an amnesty at that time and after an endless DCSI I attested to clear. I think the attest was out of sheer relief that I'd run out of hours and money and there was nothing else the C/S could dream up to have run on me. Anyway I did my Sunshine R/D that afternoon and promptly left the Org for the last time.

The next item on my program was to get married. So with cold hearted logic I joined a marriage agency and found an overseas bride. Within two years we got married and I am blessed to still be married 26 years later to the same wonderful lady.

I was still looking around for some auditing outside the church when I heard that Ethel Mackay (nee Carstairs) had left the sea org and had set up a local ACC that was affiliated with David Mayo's in Santa Barbara. Ethel had a copy of the whole bridge up to NOTs and was offering services at rates that I could afford. Since the church had declared me clear I decided to do my solo course and then the OTs levels with Ethel.

I really enjoyed doing the solo course under the supervision of a gentleman who's name I can't remember just now but he used ARC rather than KRC and for the first time I really knew what it meant to have total certainty on the materials and to be able to audit with certainty. I've never experienced that with any other learning I have done since.

I did up to OT3 with Ethel and then I fell on my face. Ethel said I needed a highly trained auditor to give me a review but there were no freelance class 8's around at the time. I heard from someone that Geoffrey Filbert was paying a visit down under and was looking for paying clients so I made an appointment to see him. He decided I was having difficulty as I hadn't had my lower bridge run and proceeded to do Grade 0 to Power on me over the next few days. Do I hear the word "quicky?"

Ethels org closed down due to constant attack by the church at the same time that Davids ACC was closed in the USA. It was soon after that I started hearing about a guy named Capt Bill from Allen Wright (may his heart lie in piece). Allen was getting his electronics business going, out of a house in Roselle, with a partner named Jenny. Allen had recently come back from Europe after studying with Bill Robertson and after Jenny re-did my grades he offered to C/S me through a retread of the OT levels. This went well and I had some specific wins although not all were lasting. I eventually completed the "Excalibur" level which was Bill Robertsons version of NOTs to a good EP and basically felt "done" at that point.

I guess the lesson I learned after leaving the church is that one must take responsibility for there own personal development and you must qualify the auditors you trust before taking services with them. If it goes sour then it is your own bloody fault.

Since 1999 I have been getting on living the middle class dream. Paying off the mortgage, travelling the globe and l now look forward to my retirement in a few years time. I have moved on from scientology although I remain a spectator. My passion remains my music and one day I hope to pay professionally. If anyone remembers me and would like to PM me you are most welcome.

My very best to you all.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 06, 2012, 11:36:43 AM
                           David Miscavige: Valentine's Day Massacre/Purge

For those unfamiliar with this part of Scientology history...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 14, 2012, 08:39:26 AM
                             Sheila Huber on Scientology -- Part 2: Getting Out

Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 25, 2012, 06:17:39 PM
                  Sheila Huber on Scientology -- Part 3: Celebrity Stories

This video section features Sheila recollecting some funny stories about her encounters with celebrities inside Scientology.

Main parts:
0:10 - Meeting Priscilla Presley
1:45 - An ethics situation
3:18 - "The Kid"
4:01 - Eavesdropping
6:16 - Grace in an awkward situation
7:56 - Lisa Marie's marriage
11:33 - Karen Black whips it out
14:23 - Miscellaneous celebrity bits
15:07 - AOLA's environment at the time
17:43 - More miscellaneous celebrity bits

                    Scientology Critic Paul Salerno Speaks

Paul Salerno was never "in" the mafia-like organization, the "church" of $cientology, however he has been a strong critic for some years now. This is a bit of his story. Enjoy! Thank you, Paul, and ALL of the San Francisco critics and Anonymous, who picket weekly, exposing the abuses of this insidious organization.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 28, 2012, 04:03:59 PM
                      Sheila Huber on Scientology -- Part 4: The Anti-Child Sea Org

This video section briefly covers the child care situation in the Advanced Org, the views of Scientology upper management about Sea Org kids, and the origins of the Sea Org's policy against having children, which was ultimately responsible for the coerced abortions within the organization.

0.10 Working for the staff
1:30 - The survey
3:51 - Mounting pressure
5:00 - An idea
8:44 - A lightened load
10:23 - Other orgs join in
12:31 - The official order
13:48 - Coercing abortions
15:05 - Total child care failure

Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 08, 2012, 08:05:03 AM
                                 my dad took us all in and we had no choices

    My dad took my mum in when she was dead young. Then he got her working for the scientologists and as usual he bummed around. I remember being fed toast always and nothing else hardly and he wouldn’t get a job, kept thinking he was gonna be a star. He complained when he had to look after us when mum was at work.
    When mum had enough of his bumming we left and he didn’t keep in touch or want us. After he dumped us he got another woman and her kid and got her to work for the scientologists as well, what a scuz. And had another kid,one he seemed to like for a while but then he dumped them as well, prob’ly because she wanted him to work for a change like mum did.
    And now hes got another wife, one who is about my age, thats sick and he is a nutter. I suppose he makes her work for him now and he thinks hes still young I s'pose yeah right.

    I have lots of memories of him and not good ones. He doesn’t care about any of his kids,just about himself. He thinks he is god, maybe he thinks he is hubbard reincarnated and can keep wrecking like Hubbard did. I am young but not rotten like him and wouldn’t treat people like he does. Why do nice people fall for the scientology shit and for people like him when he convinces them he is mr wonderful. Why don’t people see through them . It makes me so mad when I see what he has done but when I hear from others who came out of scientology and read things on here its pretty obvious that they teach you to not care about people and treat your kids like shit and why would people agree to do that.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 13, 2012, 09:26:50 PM
                                How they made their Frankenstein...

    Ok, so a few people have asked me my scientology story, and how I came to have the viewpoints about it which I now have. In order to prevent having to repeat the whole miserable experience too many times, yet at the same time as a possible form of catharsis, I have written down some of the highlights of my scientology career. (I’m going to curse a lot in this dialog, so if you find such things offensive, don’t continue reading this.)
    Here they are:

    When I first came into the org, I noticed a staff member talking badly of “psyches” and being very critical of people in general. I thought “psyches” were psychics, and I rather liked psychics, so I objected to this. I also noticed the ED being equally critical of people. All this criticalness of people and emphasis on overts and out-ethics had me thinking “but yes, that is why scientology exists, because some people are in trouble, and need a hand in life.” It also got me thinking that there must be something behind all the overts, and that that was the important thing to handle, not the overts themselves. Of course, scientology never actually found the real source of harmful transgressions, nor could they handle these transgressions very effectively.

    About a week after entering scientology I paid for my first service, Book 1 auditing (counseling). As it turned out, the original price I was quoted for this was lower than the price they demanded from me now that I wanted to start. Oh well, no worries. So I went to pay and met the Treasury Secretary, a grumpy old lady wearing old, brown tracksuit pants, who had to pull on the handle of an even older metal cupboard to push aside the pile of folders on the floor in front of it, so that she find an invoice book. This was done with much groaning and complaining. Turns out that I had just met my first OT V.

    My first session had me completely blown away! That is, until my auditor decided that my win was not big enough, and continued auditing me for another half hour or so. Sessions after that included times where my auditor laughed at me for the things I had done, and times when she tried to incorporate O/W write-ups into Book one. So yes, despite the win of my first session, my Book one experience was not so pleasant.

    (O/W write-ups is a process where a person is made to write down their transgression in an exact format, so as to bring about some relief. O/W write-ups are NEVER to be made part of Book one auditing.)

    The second win I had in scientology was when I went exterior during a session done on the e-meter. Now, after a person goes exterior, the very next thing the auditor should check for is if the PC went Out-Int. Nobody ever check this with me. Not even after I had a motor vehicle accident a week after this Dianetics session was this not checked on me. Nor was I pulled back into session to find what was going on. I guess the Red Tag 24 hour rule no longer applied, so nobody gave a shit.

    (For those who don’t know, the Red Tag rule is something along the lines of if a person has a session and is not happy at the end of session, or gets ill or has an accident within 24 hours of the end of session, the person must get fixed up immediately. If the situation is not handled within the allotted 24 hour period, a portion of the organization loses all of its statistics for that day.)

    What they did do was pull me in for a PTS (Potential Trouble Source) interview and basically point out to me that person causing all my troubles was my mother. My mother!—the women who raised me, had me educated, who made sure I had clothes and food. Yes, she was EVIL. And then invaded the place I was staying in, went through all my drawers, all the while pointing out what a mess things were (I was staying in a hovel, as I had no fucking money), and then assigned me a condition of confusion.

    Every single month thereafter I had one motor vehicle accident. This, of course, upset my parents, as they could see that I was going backwards. And they had to pay for the damaged I caused. Of course, the fact that my mother was getting upset with my involvement in scientology only seemed as proof to certain people in the org that my mother was, indeed, a very bad person.

    Around the same time my headaches started.

    More to follow...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 25, 2012, 11:46:29 AM
                 Search results for

    Sheila Huber on Scientology

Here are Parts 1 to 6 plus other Sheila Huber videos.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 27, 2012, 11:33:19 AM
                   Dart Smohen: The Real Story - Additional Commentary by Alan C. Walter

Now you can download the whole... "Real story."

Or download from here....   1.3 MB as PDFfile

Dart Smohen: The Real Story - Additional Commentary by Alan C. Walter

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 02, 2012, 02:56:17 PM
                       My story: staff 2004-2011 at Jo'burg and Flag

Hello! I recently joined ESMB and have been encouraged to post my experiences as a staff member (October 2004 – July 2011) in South Africa. To be honest, I wasn't too keen to do so, as I knew it would take some time and I felt the need to get on with creating a future. But a part of that means dispensing with my past. I started with a general de-kluge (like spring cleaning) of my space, as I really felt weighed down with all the MEST I had collected over the years. It wasn't long before I realised that my inner space needed the same treatement, and so I have decided to tell my tale.

I will do my best to keep the terminology in basic English. I will also do my best to be objective and honest, but remember that I can only speak from my viewpoint, and I don't doubt that others will remember some events differently. I should also warn that I have a problem with remembering, the cause of which should become clear to you as you read, so forgive the lack of details (especially names).

Here goes....

Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 19, 2012, 06:56:58 PM
                                   One of Two parts

                       Part of my lifestory on Argentina's Real Politik Magazine

   Translation of an interview in Spanish with Rafael Gómez, an ex-Sea Org member from Mexico who oversaw the finances of Scientology's organizations in Argentina for five years. This interview was posted on the website of the Argentine news agency Realpolitik on March 3, 2012.

    La otra cara de Cienciología: "Solo algunos conocen lo que sucede ahí dentro", dijo un ex directivo

    The other side of Scientology: "Only a few know what goes on inside," says a former director

    By Luis S. Fernández
    March 3, 2012

    Scientology is a discipline founded by science fiction writer L. Ron Hubbard and considered a religion by many, including some of the biggest Hollywood stars. In an exclusive interview, REALPOLITIK spoke with Rafael Gómez, who directed part of this organization in Argentina and finally decided he had to leave.

    The former Scientologist, who now blogs at, talked about his experience in the exclusive Sea Organization and he explained with abundant criticism why he decided to abandon the church: "There are a few victimizers and many victims, but the victims sooner or later become victimizers by being involved in these activities."

    Here is the full interview.

    REALPOLITIK – To begin with, tell us a bit about yourself.

    My name is Rafael Gómez. I am Mexican and proud of Mexico's green, white and red flag with the image of a valiant eagle devouring a snake. I was born into a Catholic family and I received a Marist education, which taught us to always fight for an ideal and for a just cause. Like all Marist teaching, it gives you the courage to undertake difficult tasks, but for just causes. At the tender age of fifteen, I was already giving remedial classes in mathematics, Spanish and catechism in low-income neighborhoods in my beloved Mexico. I took part in Ciudad Nueva Marista ["New Marist City"] for the education and evangelization of underprivileged children. Other persons and I later founded a movement called other Renovación Marista ["Marist Renewal"] for the same purpose, and several years of my life went by like this.

    I began working at the age of sixteen in graphic and industrial design offices and, by the time I left preparatory school, I already had my first company Sistemas Confiables de Cómputo SA de CV ["Reliable Computer Systems Inc."], which imported and marketed the sales line of Intel processors in Mexico, as a wholesale supplier of Intel 486 processors and other components. Being CEO of one's first company at age nineteen is something that changes the thinking of any young person, and I maintained a formal relationship with a very fine woman for nine years.

    Today I am 37 and you could describe me as a man who has experienced almost everything in his life, and the greatest joys are to be back with my family and loved ones, to watch my nieces and nephews grow up – I missed seeing them grow for at least ten years – and to find myself again and be alive to talk about it.

    You could say that I am someone who grew up twice, first in the field of business in Mexico, and then I was reborn and grew up again after I decided to break away from Scientology.

    I am presently continuing to work as a consultant in the field of computer systems. I give seminars and classes as a volunteer at various universities, to groups of psychologists, at special schools for teenagers and to groups for people who leave a sect or cult. I talk about my personal story and everything that goes along with that. Fortunately, various people involved in political, social and religious affairs consult me, or allow me to give my humble opinion about subjects of interest. People contact me from around the world and I give them a few words of encouragement and tell them to continue freeing themselves from cults and sects, and I sometimes help them find lawyers to defend them in unjust cases that stem from sects and cults implicating them in the first place in something illegal or unjust.

    REALPOLITIK – According to a rumor, you give directions to Anonymous Argentina and its leader Petete ...

    No, I refute this, with all the details about who has an interest in spreading such a rumor, in my main blog

    My blog shows that Gustavo Altieri, president of the Youth for Human Rights foundation – is the one who, on July 9, 2011, called me a mastermind and leader of Anonymous Argentina. Last February 27, 2012, I published a post about where this idea comes from and who originated this "suggestion". Altieri's foundation has ties with Scientology and directly receives advice from Scientology's Office of Special Affairs (Gustavo Libardi and his manager in Mexico). Anonymous Argentina is a group that I do not know, those in it don't reveal their identity, and I don't command its leader, Petete, under any circumstances.

    My understanding is that the demonstrations – this is what we call them in my country – have always been peaceful and meant to inform the public. I see them handing out flyers and they practice social activism simply by displaying signs, but I've never seen them do anything illegal. Of course, there is shouting, but so what? If someone enters your home and abuses your daughter, or if someone forces you to stop talking to your mom or your dad ... wouldn't you shout out?

    I am very far from Argentina, which I visited more than ten years ago. and I can't just go there and shout on their doorstep, so I post on the Internet. Whether or not anyone makes use of what I post is not something I control, but what I can do is take responsibility by making my comments, which are signed with my name as true and backed by actual facts. It has only been about a year since I started posting.

    REALPOLITIK – Tell us how you joined the Church of Scientology.

    As I mentioned earlier, at the age of 19, I was the head of Sistemas Confiables de Cómputo SA (SICCOM) and I was doing fine. The company was growing and, at that time, we provided consulting and service to various areas of government, schools, the International Baccalaureate, the Secretariat of Energy, the food industry, and I was offered a series of courses from a company that, in appearance, had no ties with Scientology and belonged to WISE (World Institute of Scientology Enterprises). I had doubts about its benefits and its truthfulness, so I didn't go, but I sent my secretary and gave her two weeks' full pay to attend the daily sessions at that association's facilities. When she returned, her work actually did improve, and that's what made me think I could find something for myself, that would help me personally. The courses I took there were "Learning How to Learn", "Personal Values and Integrity", "Overcoming Ups and Downs in Life" – a whole series of introductory courses in Scientology. I won't deny that I was quite pleased with the courses and I soon wanted more. That's when this "secular" association put me in contact with the Instituto Tecnológico de Dianética AC ["Technological Institute of Dianetics, Civil Association"] – actually the Church of Scientology in Mexico, but it's not recognized as a religion in my country.

    They made me take a series of tests, including a personality test and an interrogation, using their "religious" apparatus, during which I had to tell the full truth about whether or not my family agreed with my being there, whether or not I was a reporter looking for a news story, if I had ever been a psychiatrist or a government agent working undercover to obtain information, and so on – all kinds of security questions to verify that I wasn't someone who would publish or disclose their information or who was connected with anyone who is against them. After two days of tests, I was finally accepted. I think the need to be accepted had a determining effect in making me feel I belonged to a group that gave me the feeling that someone understood my life. I also got my girlfriend to do the same, so that we would both be aligned in our beliefs and ways of doing things. The years went by, I took courses and services at higher and higher levels, and I got to participate as a Scientology parishioner in Scientology's secular groups for religious dissemination. I participated as a parishioner in their study campaigns and in their magazine for the parishioners in those so-called "secular" associations whose real goal was to disseminate the religious technology of Scientology's founder in secular fields and to increase Scientology's penetration of social, educational, judicial and political circles in my country. I saw this as a very good thing because, as a fervent admirer of Scientology, it was completely in my interest that Scientology be disseminated, even through secular front groups, to make it easier for people to come to the churches to take religious services, much the same as in the dissemination campaigns of other religious groups.

    When I started getting even more involved with Scientology, I began to neglect my business, but it wasn't doing so well, since I wasn't giving it the necessary attention, because I signed a voluntary work contract with the Instituto Tecnológico de Dianética AC for five years at forty hours week.

    Working forty hours appeared very easy to do, however the contract I signed said that I would not to sue them over work-related issues, that I waived the wages authorized by my government and would only receive maintenance aid without a retirement and pension plan. I wasn't very worried at that time, because I still had a business and, having been independent from the age of 19, I didn't think twice before signing this contract which obligated me to take no legal action if any work-related issues needed to be resolved. Thus began my career in Scientology on the staff of the Instituto Tecnológico de Dianética AC as Director of Promotion and Marketing for the Spanish-speaking continental organization in Mexico.

    I think that the philosophy one studies in there is, as Scientology's founder himself says, drawn from many influences, such as psychology – he talked about his first studies of Freud and the study of the unconscious mind – and various other Eastern philosophies such as Buddhism, Taoism, Confucianism, and so on. It's a synthesis or a syncretism of various currents and philosophies, but explained according to the founder's outlook.

    Some things were helpful – this is true – but there were many other things which not only were not helpful, but led me to become distant from my family – of course, I'm the one who allowed this to happen – to close my business and to become a total stranger to my former friends.

    So I got into Scientology in Mexico. To make a long story short, I joined through one of Scientology's secular front groups for religious dissemination, as paradoxical as that may sound. Scientology has various satellite groups for religious dissemination that are disguised as secular fronts, and I got into Scientology through one of them.

    REALPOLITIK – And what was your progression like?

    If by "progression", you mean my development as a human being or development as a person, I can tell you in all honesty that, when you're inside, you aren't able to see from the outside how you're drifting away from your family, how you're changing your way of thinking and molding it to the thinking of the new group. It's not just Scientology, but being on staff or working for Scientology. Being a parishioner is very different from working for them. I can say that my development as a person, the process of finding myself, came to a halt. I stopped receiving services for self-exploration because I wasn't earning more than $10 a week any more, though I sometimes earned as much as $30 a week – when I was used to making about $5,000 a month – sometimes more, sometimes less.

    On the site where I post every week, I mention "indoctrination" or, as expressed by Noam Chomsky in the field of sociology, "the use of indoctrination as a means of social control", which is part of the "propaganda model" described by Edward S. Herman and Chomsky. Marketing, advertising, the public relations industry, and public opinion firms are used systematically to promote the interests of business elites. Influential religious and financial personalities have also often used this system to shape public opinion. I can assure you that the common denominator in "indoctrination" is "substituting one idea for another", "one word for another," "one type of language for another", mentally and socially segregating the individual from the people who were formerly considered part of one's in-group, so as to adopt a new group. In my case, the more I studied, the more I got into Scientology. Without realizing it, I was separating myself from my family, friends, work, and acquaintances, until the people in Scientology were my only family.

    Many of the people in Scientology have family members working there too, but my case was different. I was the only one in my family who joined, so as a result, I split away from them.

    The workdays grew from eight hours a day to ten, from ten hours to twelve, and there were even times I had to work twenty-four hours straight for a single purpose: to meet the production quota that was targeted or demanded by my superior or manager. This caused me many problems, even just to be best man at my brother's wedding ...

    I closed down my business, which had already greatly deteriorated, and I dedicated myself to living in a fantasy world, thinking I was saving humanity. Having graduated in the Humanities, I wrongly saw this as my dream come true. Five years soon went by as Director of Promotion and Marketing for the organization or the continental church, and the propaganda we sometimes see to this day is the same that I made. We created websites to attract young people, ads for specific market niches related to spiritual interests, for people who are searching to know more about themselves. Having surveyed and identified the factors they want to change, I spent five years producing the organization's magazines, as well as the promotion and marketing to position Scientology in the minds of people as a key to finding solutions for themselves.

    Of course, I learned all this inside Scientology, based on many policies and marketing books whose literary rights had been acquired by the founder of Scientology, about the significant changes in marketing from the 1950s to the 1970s, when marketing concepts changed and marketing became something that is effective and sells.

    At the end of those five years, I decided that I had no longer had any connection with my family in a social or psychological sense, that my family was Scientology, and I decided to join Scientology's internal order called the "Sea Organization" or "Sea Org". There, I underwent rigorous training in which the indoctrination makes you someone who lives only for Scientology, who donates your entire life, and again you sign liability release contracts, waivers of legal wages, legal benefits, and pensions, but this time you sign a billion-year contract.

    So I left my family and, for the last time, I left my girlfriend. I broke all contact with society, and I joined the group that runs Scientology's organizations, a group based on maritime traditions, with people who are trained and taught to go unnoticed, to ensure that organizations do what is expected of them despite any opposition. The most similar thing would be like joining the army, except that this is a hidden one and the less you know about it, the better. As various internal Sea Organization policies aptly state, "the less you know about them", the more safe and secure Scientology's organizations will be.

    The Sea Organization is the real circle of people who control Scientology, the people who tell the organizations in what direction to go, what to say, what to decide, how to present themselves, what to disseminate, what to think, what propaganda to spread. I received training as an "information and data" specialist. Every member is classified as a missionary, and there are courses on how to be a missionary, but it's not like being a Christian missionary, it's like going to certain places, gathering data, achieving specific objectives, and fulfilling a mission with primary and secondary objectives within an allotted time. This is when I witnessed and participated in doing a lot of harm to Scientology's staff and parishioners. I could elaborate on this in a later interview about Argentina, because there is a much to say and I would be very glad to talk about this if I am invited again to collaborate and to comment freely about what I went through and experienced in Argentina and in other countries. But I can assure you that, if I speak today about my experience, it's because I am at peace with God and with people. But it is a civic, moral and personal duty to warn about the harm that I witnessed and experienced, as well as the harm I did while simply obeying orders.


Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 19, 2012, 06:57:38 PM
                                        Part 2

 REALPOLITIK – What brought you to Argentina?

    After completing my training as a member of the Sea Organization, I was assigned to the finance sector and I was sent to the Center for Communication and Culture.

    When I arrived at the civil association in Buenos Aires (the Buenos Aires Scientology Org), I only found children or teenagers playing at working for Scientology. They were following a temporary Executive Director, because they didn't have one, and while I was being placed in my post and we were giving a whole public relations show, we received the order to appoint an Executive Director as the first priority. So research was done about who had been or would have been the most successful Scientology Executive Director in Argentina and that person was found – I won't name the person because I don't have permission and my situation with respect to the church prohibits that person from having any contact with me. While I was studying the problems of the organization located at 2162 Bartolomé Mitre Street, at the corner of Junín, I was also introduced to Ofelia Benijes, who was the founder's representative for the association and about whom there were rumors. The rumors came from Guillermo Abal and Douglas Durich, who were in charge of ethics inside the association. When I got to know, or at least to interview the public figure I can't name who was quite well known in these circles, I observed the opposite of what I was used to seeing in this organization. I met a tall, blond woman whose demeanor was suitable and proper for reinstatement as Executive Director in Buenos Aires. Her logic and reasoning were correct, and the surprising thing was that, unlike many people who weren't there any more, she never made any bad comments about the founder or about the religious technology. What was intriguing about her was her motives for not continuing.

    In my training and in the training of every member of the Sea Organization, we are taught to distinguish emotional states in different contexts and situations, so that by manipulating emotions and words, we might get people to concede things that they ordinarily would not. Or by manipulating an emotional state, we might get a person to voluntarily decide to do something. As a result, everything would be "of the person's own volition". Though this is not far from reality, but unfortunately, this is called emotional manipulation, where one's emotional intelligence is bent for another person's purposes. This is one of the tools that every member of the Sea Organization, the organization behind Scientology, is taught to use. Of course, it's not presented to you in these terms, but this is the result.

    The woman said that she would not come on post as Executive Director until the issue surrounding Ofelia Benijes was settled, but that if I were to settle it, she would take the post immediately. Ofelia Benijes is the mother of a member of the Sea Organization. As a good, trained Sea Org, you don't just listen, you always look further. So while investigating Ofelia, I came across her confessions in the association's Ethics Department, and she herself recounts how she sexually fondled a teenage girl from the Scientology Mission in Santa Fe on at least one or two occasions. Such behavior is called "ephebophilia" and the teenage girl reported it, but the matter was never brought to the attention of the judicial authorities. Ofelia Benijes was placing the organization at risk and I made the decision to inform two Sea Organization members who were on post with me at that time, and we decided to expel her.

    So I went up to Ofelia Benijes and said, "You know why I'm here. You know that you put the entire organization at risk and that I have the authority to remove you if necessary. Write your final message to your manager in Mexico and then go away." Ofelia obeyed – no staff member in any organization can challenge an order from a member of the Sea Org – so I accompanied her to the door and I placed the Executive Director in office. I think the most appropriate thing to do would have been to report her to the police, but I still believed in Scientology's internal justice, so for that reason, I didn't do it. I've made this public and I've reported the matter, but the victim in all this, by not filing a complaint, is making it impossible for the police to take action. The evidence is in folders inside the association and Gustavo Libardi, Guillermo Abal, Douglas Durich, and Adrian Marín have knowledge of this and all of them, except for Libardi, were there at that time. Libardi came later, as head of Legal Affairs. The woman who preceded him must have informed him, or he himself must have become aware of the situation when he took the post of Director of Special Affairs.

    There was an endless string of stories out of the organization in Argentina; I could perhaps talk about them in future interviews, since this overview of my life is already getting long. But since this is for a magazine about the political context in Argentina, I believe it's important to make this known, and also in light of the public statements made by Anonymous Argentina. Their allegations are not incorrect, on the contrary. Every person who works there, as I did, has been playing a part in covering up a crime of this magnitude, and though it didn't happen when I was there – I found out about it as a past event – no one has ever taken appropriate action. Today I see Ofelia Benijes proudly flaunting banners of moral purity as she comes and goes to the organization and gets involved in the education of minors, and that's why I revealed this in my personal blog, to make the truth known and so that something can be done about it.

    REALPOLITIK – What kind of things did you do as director of finance in Argentina?

    It's simple, when I was posted in Argentina, one of the orders I faithfully obeyed was to oversee the two other Sea Organization members who arrived with me. In those days, Finance, as an executive branch of Scientology's International Management, saw to it that the organizations were solvent and that off-base Sea Organization members had ... the way they put it to me was, "Make sure they have shelter, food and support." And since the internal policies at the time ruled that I had authority over finances and that my authority had to be obeyed, whenever I set aside money for Sea Org living expenses, shelter, and food, this meant a decrease in the pay of the other staff members, because they don't have a fixed pay. Instead, they are assigned points that are equivalent to monetary allotments after the financial officer decides what part of gross income will be allocated to pay.

    This sounds cruel and I know that it's an act of ruthlessness, but although today I regret the financially precarious state in which I placed Scientology staff members in Argentina, it was customary and I was following direct orders about this. The Sea Org has a very strict code of conduct and members are required to watch over each other, so everyone had to "adjust to the code", but Scientology staff members were being starved to death in Argentina. At the same time, I was pressuring the Executive Director to produce more money for the payment of debts, rents, water, electricity, and there was a huge debt to settle with the landlord, which was a law firm.

    Regarding these and other things that happened in Argentina, I would be very glad to discuss them in another interview and dispel any doubts about these matters.

    I was a member of this group, the "Sea Org", for five years. I traveled around and I was managing the finances and marketing of various organizations in Mexico too. I saw my life completely transformed into something that was not what I originally intended. When I found myself walking down the street without a single penny in my pocket, not eating for months, with nowhere to sleep, and still taking and carrying out orders in spite of any other reason, having turned into something that I never imagined I could be, doing things I never thought I would do, I had had enough and decided to get out. Of course, you can't just walk out the door; you leave with a great deal of trouble and humiliation. You come out stigmatized and branded as though you were Osama bin Laden or something worse.

    For Scientology, I'm presently blacklisted everywhere in the world for various reasons, rightly or wrongly, but I don't want to go back there, and my desire is to say what happened as well as to prevent more people from falling into similar situations.

    REALPOLITIK – What accusations would you level against Scientology as an institution?

    I'll start with the violations of worker rights. They don't provide fixed salaries; instead, the salaries are based on points that are converted into money on the basis of internal production targets. Such practices only existed back in the days of slavery to company stores in my country. However, this is accepted in Scientology. They don't give statements of wages, and that's because what they're doing isn't permitted by law.

    They don't provide the basic medical services required by law. They make people sign a work contract with a non-litigation clause for any work-related, medical, or personal matter. They make staff waive their salary and overtime pay, when many work up to twelve hours a day. They make staff members waive an old-age pension or severance pay (for churches like the one in Ayacucho).

    They make Sea Org members sign up with the same conditions, plus a billion-year contract. I'm not kidding; I signed mine. Employing minors and treating them as adults, in organizations like the one in Ayacucho, is done more moderately, but it still remains illegal, even with the consent of their parents. The working conditions are as enforceable as they are for adults, and for the Sea Organization, minors work as much as any adult all day, every day of their life.

    When staff members take a training course, they have to sign a bill which says that, if they break their work contract, they will pay the full price of the course, even though the purpose of the course is to enable them to perform their duties for Scientology.

    In the case of the Sea Organization, members are told that services are free for them and are earned as part of their pay, even though the latest UN decrees classify paying your employees with the same product they make as a form of modern slavery.

    Sea Organization members in foreign countries don't have work permits, but they work from twelve to twenty-four hours straight in some cases. In the Sea Organization, members can get married, but they can't have a family, in the sense that they are either psychologically pressured to have an abortion or they are expelled from the Sea Org without any compensation for unfair dismissal.

    They use secular front groups for religious dissemination. These groups are part of a front for religious dissemination, and they do it covertly to gain political and social acceptance and penetration.

    Members of the Sea Organization work at least twelve hours a day, and a shift can even last twenty-four or forty-eight hours, depending on what is required of them, without monetary compensation.

    There is an internal policy that obliges a person to disconnect from a family member who has a disagreement and can't be convinced of the opposite. This breaks up entire families, and all because someone was critical and didn't agree with the way they exploit a family member who works for Scientology.

    The purchase of buildings, like the historic building they recently bought in Argentina, is not prescribed by the founder's internal policies. They've taken advantage of this to make their parishioners go into debt and take out more loans to buy that building and others.

    Scientology illegally exercises the practice of the field of mental health. Its introspection processes owe their origins to the first Freudian studies, so even though they've been refined into techniques that belong to Scientology, they are based on psychology. Sessions with patients are disguised as services of a church, but this is an intrusion into mental health. When a person looks into his or her own mind and describes what he or she sees, this is clearly a mental health practice, and this should not be considered separate from the field of mental health.

    They illegitimately take people off medications that people need to maintain their health, even though Scientology's internal policies don't authorize this. And the worst thing, in my opinion, is the modern slavery. Through mental or spiritual manipulation, they force their workers to work unbelievable hours and they demand quotas far in excess of what is required in a normal job – with minimal pay – and then the workers can't make a living or support families. And when someone disagrees with something, they are literally subjected to extensive indoctrination, and refusal to accept it means risking one's spiritual freedom.

    REALPOLITIK – Can it really be said that all members of the church endorse the kind of behavior you describe?

    No, only a few really know what goes on inside. The others are loyal followers whose human rights are abused. They are lied to and manipulated to make them continue to produce what they are expected to produce. There are a few victimizers and many victims, but the victims sooner or later become victimizers by being involved in these activities. When they later go up in rank or are recruited to work, they are definitely used as instruments by a higher ranking victimizer, and they start becoming accessories to these acts until they themselves turn into victimizers.

    Without any doubt, all the people who enter Scientology are good folks who joined thinking they would save the planet and make conditions better, altruistic persons with noble capacities for love, but they are exploited and don't know it. They are stripped of their right to view other opinions, even on the Internet, and if they don't think like the rest, they are automatically stigmatized.

    The few who support such behaviors believe they are doing it for the greater good of humanity. They have been convinced of this, and their belief and moral blindness allows them to do all the things I mentioned and more.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 03, 2012, 01:27:22 PM
                                                I Stood Tall (My story)

Posted by...StickbyMe

I said a month ago that I was worried about an SP declare. After reading these forums, and hearing your stories, I feel like maybe I can share mine. I don't have enough friends currently in the Church that disconnection is a big fear, and OSA certainly has bigger fish to fry than little old me. So here goes.

My mother got into Scientology when I was about 13. She progressed up the grades and brought my father and me in as well. I didn't really get it. We were Jewish, and now all of a sudden we were Scientologists. My entire previous experience before that was hearing my father comment once that Travolta was a Christian Scientist. But I talk courses at the NJ Mission and eventually we actually went to Clearwater for about 4 months. I did my Purif while I was down there.

I actually loved my time in Clearwater. My sister and I went to a Scn school (which meant doing very little all day), swam a lot, I made friends with these two guys who owned a vintage toy store near the FH. I met an Italian girl and fell in love with her, but she went back to Italy before anything could really come of it. But I do remember dancing with her at the FH's New Years party...

At the end of the four months something happened. I only know my mother's side. She had worked in television since starting in Scientology and her job was strictly technical. But after 4 months of living at the Fort Harrison, we went home, a family of Illegal PCs. No more auditing for any of us.

We went back to the Mission, and my parents, determined to still achieve total freedom, petitioned in vain to have my mother's status overturned. My sister went to the Ability School and I was sent to Delphi Oregon.

I had an amazing time at Delphi. The checksheet learning style really fit my own personal style, and I needed the structure of being busy. That said, I'm not sure Delphi loved me. I was in lower conditions a lot, could never pass white glove... There was a penalty points system in which you were allowed 4 points. If you got more than that, you got "restricted" meaning you couldn't partake in activities like dances or trips, couldn't watch TV in the TV lounge, and you had to do MEST work. I spent a lot of time in the scullery. So much so, that I signed up for the work study program, figuring I may as well get paid for it. I learned to get around the restrictions, made friends with a staff member who let me watch TV at her house (and it was REAL TV! Not just videos!) I was in the jazz band, jazz choir, madrigal quartet, played tennis... But I also got in trouble a lot. Delphi has a thing that's like the equivalent of a Comm Ev, and I got a couple of those. I crushed on a few girls, but did not fair well. At the age of 18 I left Delphi and moved to Boston, still not really a Scientologist....

Re: I Stood Tall (My story)

    In Boston I connected up with the Org, but I hadn't expected too much. I signed up for some kind of course. By now, my parents were completely disaffected. My mother felt like the tech was valid but not really for her anymore (out-KSW) and my dad felt like he'd been robbed. I started volunteering in Div 6 and felt just such a strong purpose. Even though I had never been audited. I petitioned to have my illegal PC status revoked, and somehow I made it happen. Then I joined staff.

    Staff was a trip for sure. I bounced around a bit, spent time living with the family of another staff member... I lived off Little Debbie products for a while. And I was a fucking awesome body router. Too bad for me the org couldn't hold on to new people at all. The obsession about stats was crazy. There was a thing where the PES and PCS decided that if we got on a subway car, gave a 30 second shpiel about Scn and then handed out Dianetics promo, that counted as an Intro Service Completion. (To give background to those who weren't on staff, Intro Services are supposed to take 15 minutes, Stress Tests, Personality Tests, etc, and result in being routed to a reg. You can't just blast a train car full of 40 people with an intro service). I refused to partake in what I knew to be a ridiculous stat push, but I was rebuked for being CI. Our org was even featured in an Int event for having a NISC stat of like 1600/week.

    I quit school while on staff. I hated school. Delphi had been my style. Lectures and homework were new to me.

    The thing that ended up making staff tolerable was Night Watch. The men of the org would pair off and take turns doing night watch. It was pretty normal for the older guys with WOG jobs to pay younger guys to cover it for them. Finally, Paul, the Lead Sup, got all the men together for a meeting where he explained that he felt it would be worth paying money to have somebody cover nightwatch permanently. So I ended up making about $500/week to hang out in the Org and watch movies all night. I'd bring my guitar, listen to lectures... All of a sudden I could afford to quit my moonlight job and work in the org full time. My 21st birthday I didn't even have a single beer because I had to get back to the org for night watch. Just me alone all night with the mice. (BTW, if OSA didn't know who I was before, they sure do now. Hi Gerard!)

    There were a bunch of us on staff who were younger and friends. Mark Boucher and I got along great. There was one time we ate an entire box of granola with half and half (it was all we had) and then spent a round of personality test evaluations holding in our crazy farts. James Ventullo and I worked together a lot even though we weren't friends (and were often romantic rivals for any new female to come into the org). I was on Fdn staff, but I ended up working on the day org too. After a while Day org let me off the hook because I was destroying my body. I remember spending a lot of time eating chunk light tuna, but my purpose was true. The hardest part was the winters. "Darren, it's like 4 degrees outside and the streets are bare." "You don't want to be downstat do you?"

    My parents were well acquainted with disconnection policy, and so they never fought my commitment to the Church. and as a result we stayed close throughout this entire ordeal.

    After a while I signed a Sea Org contract. I wasn't qualified though. I'd taken Ritalin prescribed by a psych at the age of 5. Should have been a done deal. But they decided I could join, and I wanted to. I spent a lot of time trying to recruit a replacement so I could hurry up and go. This was my purpose, dammit! I could do so much to help clear the planet. With my sweet sweet div 6 skills, there would be no stopping us! But it was hard to get a replacement. Even people who wanted to join staff didn't want to be the Dir. Body Routing and everybody knew I was looking for a replacement. Eventually Nick Gambino came on an extraction mission and "found" me a replacement (i.e. recovered a blown staff member and called it a day). The replacement didn't stick but I was long gone. I was on my way to the damn Sea Org!

    Well, not quite yet.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 21, 2012, 02:04:20 PM
                My trip in and out of the Church of Scientology  Posted 21 April 2012

by Andy Porter

Story and photos here...

Post by: BLiP on April 23, 2012, 12:28:08 PM
How did this guy manage to finance his world travels?

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 23, 2012, 08:48:31 PM
He doesn`t say.
But he doesn`t refer to investing his own money in these gigs.

When I was sent to Fiji to start up a mission in 1987 we were told
all profits we could keep, less 10% which would be sent to SMI.
Scientology Missions International.

Incidentally the mission was never established.
I write about it in my story...  starting about here...

                                  SENSE OF DOUBT

                                       Part 63

                                I feel like a group of one.

Post by: BLiP on April 24, 2012, 05:07:22 AM
I feel like a beer but I've only just got up  ; )

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 24, 2012, 08:54:43 AM
You realize of course that having that beer has made you ineligible for auditing for 24 hours.

Wanna know how to stay ineligible for auditing forever?

Tell everyone about the condition of Dead Ron Hubbard`s liver.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 26, 2012, 10:22:17 PM
               Interviews with hundreds of ex scientologists

Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 28, 2012, 02:42:33 PM
                                                  Hello, XA here

    Hello Everyone,

    I was the wog girlfriend of an OTVIII, and got caught up in the madness for three years. I have returned to sanity 12 years ago, and never looked back.To my great surprise the OT in question has not been declared SP (at least from what I can see), even though OSA was after him big time and he himself definitely had mental issues. It certainly contributed to me being scared of people for a few years.
    I am very glad to see all the people, who got out after decades and are now doing great. I can only admire them for doing so well and am glad I now laugh at all this nonsense of mental terrorism. What I feel strongly about is the physical punishment and coercion that DM proliferated and must be stopped.

    Hope to read many interesting discussions on here.


    Xenu's Auditor

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 02, 2012, 01:49:13 PM
                                   Diego and Nina Davila Defy Disconnection
Posted on May 1, 2012 by martyrathbun09 | 7 Comments

What follows are fresh, level-headed, factual stories of what goes on within Scientology Inc.  Please read them.  They are compelling.   They speak volumes as to the lack of ethics change within corporate Scientology and with David Miscavige. They also demonstrate the power of our unkillability – people can leave the cult and not leave Scientology behind.  I gotta give props to Anita and Les Warren – a couple of real heroes.   Nina and Diego have made a clean, bold move and have been rewarded by Scientology Inc with ruthless Disconnection. Please help Diego and Nina defy Disconnection by connecting with them now at

Their story...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 17, 2012, 05:41:21 PM
                                                   Fiona is loved.

    Both my wife and I have been "out" since February 2009, we have posted much of that story already. I am starting this thread kind of like a blog if you like, this will be a day by day journal of entries showing our efforts to gain access to my wife's daughter Fiona Peachey.
    After many months of trying to get Fiona to come home for a visit Fiona told her mum that "she didn't want her to call her any more that our only terminal was IJC" that we "had to stop all our attacks" this was in September this year, since then her mums calls have been blocked. Various and many are the excuses as to why she is not available. This is disconnection I see it's destructiveness, there is not an hour of the day which passes without Fiona coming to mind or conversation. My wife is distraught, often I find her in tears the longer this continues the harder it is.

    Well we won't disconnect, we and all of our extended family members are telephoning, within the space of an hour this morning CMO HCO at Flag had no less than 6 calls from family here in Aussie. Eventually Fiona called her grand-parents to reassure them she was "well and happy". This was the first phone call from her since September.

    We have been told by a "Kathy" who is in OSA there that it is "Fionas choice regards communicating with her mum or not" this is not the church enforcing disconnection...BULLSHIT!

    We are keeping telephone logs of our calls, who said what etc... I will update this thread as those calls are made.

    What am I trying to show?


    Yesterday 22nd November 2009 Fiona's sister called CMO at Flag and spoke to reception there, she was kept on hold for 5 minutes eventually this person comes back to the phone and tells her Fiona is in a meeting but the message will be given to her. Fiona did not return the call.

    23rd November 8.20 am I called and was put on hold for 10 minutes, reception comes back and tells me she could not find her, that she tried her mobile phone number but that it must be in a poor reception area of the building. I left a message for Fiona to call home, this person said that Fiona's grandparents had called, "did they get to speak to her?" I enquired, "no".

    A little later Liz gets this email from Fiona:

    From: CECCW []
    Sent: Sunday, 22 November 2009 8:47 AM
    To: Liz Anderson

    Dear Mum,
    I hear that you have been calling as well as James, Jordan and Ma & Da. I am writing to you now to let you know that what I said in September still stands.

    Just to let you know that I am doing very well here and you have nothing to worry about.
    Love, Fiona

    After seeing Aaron Saxton's vids it really came home to me, this is what they are doing to us and to Fiona.


Thread continues here...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 19, 2012, 01:12:37 PM
                    Re: SELL-ENTOLOGY: Big Being Closing Techniques

    Nearly everyone on this site has a Story how they were treated badly by the Registrars,

    Personally, they Also escorted me to sell my Assets for Scientology services,

    & they put an add in the Newspaper to sell my Car....

    They Escorted me to many Coin Shops to sell my Coin Collection..... & on one occasion when the coin shop gave me a cheque for Several thousand dollars, the Registrar asked if she could see it..... & then folded it up & put it in her bag..... (this made me so mad....)

    They also had their eye on my House..... they said they would not touch that yet....(thank GOD I was out of there before they got my house)

    But other people spent much more money than me..... etc... & I feel for them.....

    I remember reading here recently where a Lady mortgaged her Home to give the church something like $250,000,.....with a promise from the registrars that they would then leave her alone..... but they were then back within weeks seeking an even bigger amount......

    They Praise you when you give them money, & you are in their words "very Upstat" ....& a "very able person".......& "the Org cannot afford to loose a person like You".... & "you are in the Group of Big Donators, & you should associate with these People".... etc

    But if you don't or can't give them money or buy something .... their Tone changes .... until they are very angry with you.... Telling me on many occasions "you piss me Off"......& "you're running a Can't Have on Me" (the registrars) etc....

    They would also beg for money........ They would say we desperately need your Help......

    They also didn't care that I was not working or not recieving any Government bennifits when I was being regged

    I am very Happy to be Off their Lines......

    & to be really Honest.... it scares me how easily they seemed to extract the Money from me..... & how easily they seemed to control me, for their purposes....

    It really Scares me to become involved with them again .... because it may happen again.....

    But as they even recognize..... They want "Fresh Meat"..... someone who is unsuspecting....

    So, I guess .....especially after finding this message board, (that has exposed their secrets),......I would not let it happen to me again..... & I would run in the opposite direction Yelling & Swearing at them as I go..

Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 23, 2012, 10:22:31 PM
                               Former Scientologist Charlie Sweeny Speaks

This is an interview with Charlie Sweeny, who was "in" C of $ for 10 years and has been out almost 20 years. Tonight is his first Internet appearance, speaking-out on both what he liked and doesn't like now about his former organization. After 37 years here in California, Charlie is moving to Ohio, so please wish him good luck in his new adventure. :)

15 minutes

Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 07, 2012, 10:24:36 PM
                                               Another ex in trouble

    My dear friend Chris Duffy, banjo player/jazz guitarist extraordinaire and general all-round good guy, is dying of pancreatic cancer. It began to make its presence felt in December-January, and by March it was clear that there was something seriously wrong. He was diagnosed with multiple tumours in all major organs in April and pancreatic cancer in May and is now on a steep decline. Chris and I walked into Sydney org together (together with Mike Eves, who died at Int of lung cancer in 2009) in June 1974. Mike and I went into the SO, and he did too for the two or so weeks it took him to realise he would be crazy to continue. However, he did remain as public on lines till the early 80s and completed OT III. Since he broke his ties with Scientology he's never looked back and even though I know he spent years and thousands of dollars during his short time in Scn, I can barely even think of him as an ex-Scientologist. It was just not the way he sees himself, nor the way others see him. They see instead a lanky, funny, sardonic man who made a comfortable life for himself, who had wide-ranging interests and a phenomenal memory for film plots and strange trivia, who surrounded himself with art, music and books, who loved beautiful rugs and great food and drink. Chris is a fine cook, though he neither cooks nor eats much anymore. And of course many people know him as one of Australia's premier bluegrass banjo musicians with half a dozen recordings under his belt, and a track record of playing with some of the bluegrass greats -- Dan Crary, Tony Trischka, Rodney Crowell, Bryon Berline.

    Chris moved in with us about six weeks ago when it became clear he could not look after himself, and since then I have been watching this talented, creative, witty, quirky and gentle man slowly diminish. He's still as courtly and civil as he ever was, despite mounting pain and its modern affiliate, heavy-duty painkillers. His worst complaint is that his back is "niggly" which I think means the pain is intolerable.

    Since all of this happened I've been musing about the nature of love and friendship, on the nature of death and what it means to make yourself a good death. If I can face the great unknown with the gentle good nature, critical wit and zen-like acceptance that I am seeing in Chris, I will feel myself lucky.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 09, 2012, 11:12:39 AM
                                             I still have nightmares, a year later.

    I left Scientology as a staff member about a year ago, and I still have weekly nightmares about being back on staff. Sometimes they are about things I experienced while on staff, and sometimes I find myself back on staff knowing that I had once left. I generally feel a lot of anxiety in these dreams, I start to freak out and cry because I know that my life is over, and I wonder how could I ever be back here again. I probably have 1-3 nightmares a week that revolve around being on staff. I wish I could get these out of my head.


Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 09, 2012, 08:49:43 PM
The teen who escaped Scientology: Married at 15, groped and abused - one woman's terrifying ordeal at the hands of a religion she feared bringing her daughter into


Read more:

Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 09, 2012, 08:54:27 PM
                                What happens when Scientologists come after you?

When John Sweeney made a TV documentary on the controversial church, he ended up followed, threatened by its leader, and on the wrong side of John Travolta

Read more:

Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 16, 2012, 09:57:41 AM
                                 Ron Minor Declares Independence in Las Vegas

Posted on July 15, 2012 by martyrathbun09 | 14 Comments

The David Miscavige dark star chamber continues to cough out poisonous, oily smoke according to the latest below from Ron Minor of Las Vegas.  Good on you Ron for clearing the air and making it known and available to those still choking on Miscavige’s noxious fumes in Scientology Inc.

I began my scientology adventure in 1973. While stationed at Nellis AFB I did the comm course and started training in the academy up to Cl IV. During this time I decided that Scientology was the best way to make a positive effect on the world and joined staff in 74. I was on staff in the Las Vegas org from 74 until 83 holding various technical posts up to Grad V Case Supervisor. I moved to Georgia for a time and did some volunteer work for the Atlanta mission for a brief period of time. I returned to Vegas in 89 and gave staff another try from 90 to 92. Could see how things had changed from the 70’s and left. I’ve recently retired from the manufacturing sector (30 years) and have been working with friends here in Vegas on expanding the independent field.


Recently I’ve learned that a declare has finally been issued on me. I’ve been dead filed for many years now, but someone forgot to issue a declare on me.

In the last few months I’ve been in comm with someone still in. When ethics tried to tell them how bad I was, to their surprise, there was no issue on me. So, they hastily made one. Of course this is one of those …show only when necessary declares.

Not that declares matter at this point, but I thought I would write a letter to some of my still in friends. I’ve posted this as a message to their face book accounts, which they may or may not read. Last time I did this I posted Debbie Cook’s email message and actually got a response. So, maybe this will get through to some.

(Start of the Letter)
Hi, I would like to communicate to you about any declare that has been issued about me.

First, I would like to say, I have not been given or been shown any copy of my Declare. I have heard it is being shown to those who have been in comm with me, but no one is allowed to keep it or pass it on to others. This seems to be the common process now. What better way to spread lies, and not give anyone a chance to correct them?

With a low level knowledge report, at least you are sent a copy (or should be) but when using the highest ethics gradient, the person this is being issued on isn’t even told about it or allowed to have a copy? Also, with the large amount of people leaving the church, this is just another means of hiding the fact that people are leaving.

Scientology is a live religion, made up of you. You determine the face of Scientology.
L Ron always said, “What is true for you is true for you.” If you see things that aren’t true for you, you could leave anytime. All that was asked of you was to truly look at the facts or observe the truth of something, with your own eyes.

Here is the truth about my declare. Most of what I’m covering is based on what I’ve heard from other people who have read the declare.

Practicing Scientology outside of the church…. Yes I’m guilty. I’ve been a Scientologist since 1973. I have continued to be a Scientologist to the present, 2012. Scientology has changed my life beyond my expectations and continues to do so after 39 years. I continue to apply the tech to myself and others around me. As an example, I delivered assists to my X-wife who was dying of colon cancer in 2004. This helped her to peacefully leave her body when the time came.

Running or spreading squirrel OT levels.
You may not realize this but the entire Scientology Bridge is available outside the brick walls of the Church of Scientology. Everything being used are HCOBs written and produced by LRH. The auditors and C/S’s that apply this tech are the same ones that you may have known a few years or months ago. Many are highly trained (some by LRH himself) with the focus of helping the PC or Pre-OT go free. Not working/regging them on obtaining their next “status level” or selling the latest/greatest release. You progress up the bridge the way LRH intended it to be.

Being part of a squirrel group.
If you consider being with other Scientologist who have left the church, then that would be a guilty. But are these people squirrel just for the fact of leaving?
They are passionate about Keeping Scientology working (for some this was the reason for their leaving the brick/mortar Church). They only follow what LRH has written in the Tech volumes or stated on LRH tape recordings.

Going up the entire bridge is easily done outside the brick/mortar Church.

These are just some of the points that I’m aware of in the Declare. There may be others. If you care to share them with me, I would be happy to go over them with you.

Final note, I admire those of you who are still at the brick/mortar Church, doing what you can to keep it there. In spite of all the suppression that you have been subjected to, internally and externally you are working on creating a physical presence of the church.

The question I have to ask you……Is this what LRH wanted?
Did he want large beautiful buildings or planet wide clearing?

If you would like to contact me, my email address is

(End of Letter)

Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 16, 2012, 04:14:53 PM
     16 July 2012

                                                           The cult of Scientology

I was raised as a Scientologist from the age of four. I was a very contemplative child and was quite deeply affected by Scientology's concept of 'overts (sin) and withholds'.

I was afraid I would not achieve my dreams if I committed an overt and felt very controlled by this as a child and teenager. The Church has very specific ideas of what they consider an overt (including any critical thoughts of Scientology, Hubbard or the Sea Organization).

When I was 15 years old my mother and I travelled on Scientology's cruise ship the Freewinds. We were there for one week and whilst my mother was studying I was targeted by Sea Org recruiters. I revered the Sea Org. It is Scientology's elite corps of devotees who dedicate this life and the next billion years to the service of Scientology and its expansion.

Every day I was sat down in a small office and indoctrinated on the Sea Org and heavily pressured to join. I made it clear to the recruiters that I planned to be a professional dancer, something which I was very passionate about and was training every day to achieve. The pressure did not let up. After hours and hours of highly pressured recruitment I agreed to join once I had finished my dancing career and they made me sign the Sea Org contract.

Once I had signed the contract the pressure didn't subside, but increased. Now they wanted me to start right away. This went on for another 24 hours relentlessly. The day before my mother and I were due to leave, I was back in the small office with three adult Sea Org members, one standing in the door way. She screamed at me saying something along the lines of,

    How could you possibly think that your dancing would make a difference in the world. I am sure you are not actually good enough to be famous! If you are not going to start now you may as well rip your contract up!

I cracked and broke down. After a week of high pressured indoctrination sessions every day, for most of the day, they had broken me. I agreed to come as soon as my mother and I had finished our trip.

My mother and I returned home from our overseas trip and I made arrangements to leave for the Sea Org. I left Australia a few months later on a one way ticket to the Caribbean not knowing when I would see my family again. I arrived at the Sea Org a few weeks before my 16th birthday. I was incredibly home sick and terrified.


Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 22, 2012, 09:09:08 AM
                                     Johnd's story

                                                     My Story

Part 12

Sweating my brains out

I’m starting at part 12 not to be cute, but because it seems like the right place to start. A few people have asked me to write up my story from inside scientology, and I’ve approached it a few times and got nowhere. It’s something I want to do, but when I think about it I keep hanging up at one part of the story—an episode that I think explains a lot about me, my behavior and why I may seem quite different from the way I was in the seventies, when a lot of people in the cult knew me. I’ve labeled it part 12 because it’s # 12 on the outline I drew up to help me with my story.

I actually got into the cult in 1969 and later I’ll try to go into that and into how I think I got hooked, but for now, I’m going to skip to summer 1977 in Los Angeles. (Summer ’77 to the best of my recollection—could be off a bit. I was then qual sec at Celebrity Centre Los Angeles, having been promoted from the post of chief cramming officer in 1976.) The “Sweat Program” pilot had just come out. This was not the “Purification Rundown,” which came later, in ’78. The ‘sweat program,’ also called the ‘sweat out program’ was hubbard’s first stab at aggressively ridding people’s bodies of “drug residues,” in particular the deadly ‘ psych drug,’ LSD. According to hubbard, LSD residues lodged “in the tissues and mainly the fatty tissues,” and could without warning leak out and cause full blown “trips,” resulting in catastrophe. The mere presence of the residues could also prevent scientology auditing from fully working. Hubbard’s initial solution was to force the lurking impurities from the body through profuse sweating, exercise and reduced body mass. (See HCOB 31 May 1977, “LSD-- Years After They Have ‘Come Off Of’ LSD” for greater insight or at least a few good laughs. Sorry Indies, no offense intended.)

I and a lot of other staff immediately went onto the pilot rundown. I can’t find any reference in my library that says what was done in the ’77 pilot so, as best I can recall:
We did take a lot vitamins several times a day, though not as much as in the later ‘purif.’ I don’t recall any niacin burn. We also took cal mag and salt and a good amount of oil.


Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 30, 2012, 05:05:14 PM

Below is a post originally posted on: ... CONNECTION
I feel it is necessary to have this posted here to.



Many months ago when I got out of Scientology I sent an e-mail to my daughter roughly saying the following:

I told her that I am no longer in Scientology and that the reasons for that are my own (her mother is in a very strong Scientology family). I warned her and said that one day Scientology would ask her to choose between me and Scientology.

I said the decision is yours and whatever decision you make will not change how I feel about you, I will always be your Dad and love you more than anything in this world and am always here for you.

Well, I just got off the phone with my 13 year old daughter who was in tears as Scientology was forcing her to never speak to me again due to the fact that I have been out spoken about my negative experiences in Scientology.

This is what happened.

We have been planning a trip for my two kids from my previous marriage to come out to Australia for a visit. I have sent the air ticket money and visa documents and they were supposed to arrive in early July. They have been excited about seeing Australia and we have spoken about all the things we are going to do.

A few days ago I got an e-mail from my daughter saying she needs to speak to me urgently, so I called and was met with one of the most - in fact the most - difficult things I have been through in my life.

She sounded really down on the phone and I will try to cover as accurately as I can what transpired.

She said she has heard that I am attacking Scientology and she asked if that was true. I asked her who had told her and she said her mother, she said I had been declared a suppressive person by the Church. I told her that I am out spoken about my experiences in Scientology and it’s all based on my experiences and that I am telling the truth. She responded by saying that I am attacking Scientology and that she cannot further her studies in Scientology if I continue to speak out and would be forced to sever all contact with me as per Scientology policy.

I asked my daughter to put her Mom on the phone.

My ex-wife said that two weeks while they were at Scientology in Clearwater, Florida, she was shown my Suppressive Person Declare. This Suppressive person Declare in Scientology terms basically means that Scientology labels you in writing that you are the lowest of the low, a criminal and against the wellbeing of all around you, and they show this to people who know you so that they disconnect from you. The result is nobody and I mean nobody who is in Scientology is allowed to have contact with you at all.

I told her that I have not seen such a declare on me and my ex insisted she was shown this document. I said “well then why have I not seen it?”.

She told me it was not being given to me for media reasons.

I got straight to the point with my ex asking her what that meant for the trip that was being planned. She said she is not sending my kids over anymore as she does not trust me due to me being declared a Suppressive Person.

A heated conversation followed at which point I asked for my daughter to be put back on the phone.

My daughter is now in tears on the phone telling me that I should “Do it for her”

What she means is that I get back into good standing with Scientology. That “if I love her I would handle this with the Church”.

At this moment my heart is being ripped out of my chest.

She is insisting that if I do not she will have to “disconnect” from me otherwise she will not be able to continue in Scientology.

I reminded her about the warning I had sent her months ago.

I told her this is not me wanting to break our bond nor is it you, take a look what your heart says, this is somebody else - the Church - saying we cannot be together. I am not forcing this situation on you and vice versa, Scientology is forcing this on us.

I told her everything that I have spoken out about is from my experience, they are things within the Church that need to change. I told her I do not expect her to understand yet and for that will not get into all the reasons.

I used an example saying: If you are at school and you see a teacher abusing a child and nothing gets done about it and you go to the principal and tell him and he denies it and then the abuse continues. So you then go to the School inspectors to report what you have witnessed and as a result you get expelled from the school as an out of control student.

This is what is happening, I told her I cannot sit and watch Scientology spokes people talk on the TV and know they are lying and do nothing about it.

With tears on her side of the phone and me fighting back my tears she insisted I return and I replied I will not return to Scientology however I respect your decision to continue studying scientology and will not get in the way of that and never have.

I have never told her anything bad about Scientology only that I was out.

I did this specifically as I knew Scientology would pull out their heavy hand and rip another family to pieces.

Well boy was I wrong. They still went ahead, getting a 13 year old girl overwhelmed by tears to call her father and say she will not speak to him again until he is in good standing with Scientology. It’s beyond reason that this could even be asked of anyone let alone a 13 year old girl.

Now my 10 year old son does not get a say in this either. He becomes a victim and maybe not fully capable of understanding what is happening but regardless of how he feels he is forced to lose his father and is helpless to the heavy hand of Scientology.

This conversation went back and forth over an hour and it ended with my daughter well and truly in tears telling me not to contact her until I was in good standing with Scientology.

My heart was literally lying on the floor, shattered, I was deflated and slumped down on the couch.

Do you want to know why we protest, do you want to know why people speak out and risk so much to get the truth of Scientology out there?

Well this story is why we protest, we protest because a “Religious” group has policies and uses them to rip thousands of families in two all in the name of “Religious Freedom”.

We protest because of the ABUSE and we will not rest until it ends……

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 15, 2012, 05:52:07 PM
                                       The Rapidly Expanding Mission Network — Not

Posted on August 14, 2012 by mrinder | 71 Comments

by Mike Rinder

To hear Miscavige tell it, Scientology is expanding like never before. “10X expansion in the last decade than in the 50 previous years” etc etc.

Of course, there are no new orgs in decades, but that gets fudged over with the A=A=A of new building=new orgs. And never mind the fact they are empty.

Then he stands tall 0n his applebox and announces the wonders of massive expansion at the “bottom of the Bridge” in the Mission Network. You even see it in ads on TV – “10,000 churches, missions and associated groups”. Of course, if you go to and try to locate these entities, its impossible. There is NO listing of anything. Even the “Org and Mission” locator will not allow you to get a listing for the United States or any country for that matter. So, no numbers can be gotten. You just have to take his word for it….

But, every now and then specific examples pop up that disprove the lies.

Which brings us to this.  And its a doozy.

Now, with all this enormous expansion happening, one would expect the Mission Network to be an unstoppable juggernaut of unbridled expansion (shermanspeak ®) and especially one would expect this of a Mission in a relatively large city in the United States that has no org in it or even within 200 miles.

And especially one would expect this if the Mission was one of the original “ideal missions”, in a large, prominent building in the city. Not hidden away in a strip mall out on the outskirts of town….

And extra especially if the Mission was sponsored by two famous celebrities – hometown heros in fact.

And even more so if the Mission was staffed by the best “mission staff” money could buy.

And then, to put the cherry on the cake, the Grand Opening ribbon was cut by two very prominent celebrities and the biggest celebrity of all – Mr. David Miscavige himself. Accompanied by massive free publicity.

In the words of the immortal Dan Sherman, a veritable perfect storm of perfectness where the forces of nature combined in harmonious wonder in deference to the amazingness of Dear Leader hisself:  Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you, the Church of Scientology of Memphis Tennessee.

Opened to enormous fanfare on Central Ave in 1997 by Lisa Marie Presley and Isaac Hayes, this should be THE model of Mission prosperity.  But somehow, the Mission seems to be out of step with the rest of the world’s runaway expansion, in spite of all the advantages it had.

But there is more to the corrupt world of Miscavige than merely falsifying stats to make himself look good in the face of his shriveling empire.  This is the world of financial irregularities and “buying favor.”

Enter Miscavige cronies and erstwhile spies, Benetta and David Slaughter.

For any who don’t know them, they were the employers of Lisa McPherson. Big contributors to the IAS and other projects, Benetta was at least at one time, a Miscavige “pet.”

Benetta left Clearwater to become Miscavige’s hand-picked ED of the Applied Scholastics Spanish Lake headquarters outside St. Louis. As that project wallowed and eventually failed, Benetta and David moved on to greener pastures.

And that would be Memphis, TN.

The Mission was failing, reportedly defaulting on their mortgage. In what could well have been an amends project for failing at Spanish Lake, now  the Slaughters ride into town to take over the Mission.

But they apparently didn’t do anything to increase the activities and viability of the Mission.  Things didn’t go well.  But to avert a “flap” of a foreclosure of “Isaac and Lisa Marie’s Mission” , on 21 May 2008 David, as the “Mission Holder” sold the Mission to himself for $635,000.  But this wasn’t a move designed to increase the delivery of the Mission. In fact, the Slaughters proceeded to convert it back into a home — for themselves!  And earlier this year, they put it on the market for $995,000.

Here is an article from the Memphis Daily News,  Friday, May 23, 2008:
Church of Scientology Sold, Will Be Converted to Home
By Eric Smith
The Midtown property housing the Church of Scientology Mission of Memphis at 1440 Central Ave. has sold for $635,487 to David Slaughter, the church’s trustee or “mission holder,” and Bennetta Slaughter, according to The Daily News Online,

The sale closed Tuesday, and Slaughter said he will renovate the 10,500-square-foot building into a residence. He said he will live in the home temporarily and eventually put it on the market once the renovations are complete.

Meanwhile, the church will stay in Memphis, but it has found another location and will move soon, Slaughter said. He wouldn’t comment on the new site, but he did confirm that the church is moving “east,” as detailed in a Feb. 3, 2006, story in The Daily News.

He said details on the Church of Scientology’s plans for Memphis are coming.

“We’ll be making an announcement in a few days,” Slaughter said when reached by phone Thursday, adding that the church is not currently meeting at the Central Avenue property.

The Shelby County Assessor of Property’s 2008 appraisal of the building is $440,500. It sits on 1.14 acres and is zoned for religious use. The building was built in the early 1900s and served as a private residence for about 30 years. Then it was home to St. James Episcopal Church for roughly 50 years after that.

The Church of Scientology Mission of Memphis bought the building in June 1997 for $475,000, opening its doors later that fall. The building has 7,500 square feet on the top two floors, plus a 3,000-square-foot renovated basement.

Slaughter said the home needs to have regular bathrooms put back in, and that he’s started doing “minor, deferred maintenance stuff,” but after that he wouldn’t disclose other details about the renovations.

“We haven’t really decided what we’re going to do yet,” he said. “It’s kind of early for me to give a full description because we’re still investigating what we’re going to do, how we’re going to do it and how long it’s going to take. We’re still in the planning stages and under design.”

In conjunction with the latest sale, Slaughter assumed a Jan. 20, 2006, deed of trust on the property for $550,000 through Slaughter Enterprises LLC. Slaughter himself signed as the managing member for that entity.
Here you can see some of what they did and get an idea of the squalor they live in:

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 16, 2012, 09:14:56 AM
                                           Suppressed Memories

When i was a little girl,about 7-8yrs old,i lived with my family in a big old house.We used to have boarders stay with us.They were all Scientologists.At the time i didn't really know what this meant.These people that stayed with us often came from abroad,i know some of them were from South Africa.Although i don't remember any of their names,i can still picture some of their faces,and they were so friendly and good to have around.Our house was always full of people,my aunt lived with us and an uncle(my Fathers twin brother).My mother wasn't my real Mother,but she was to me,i loved her with all my heart.I also had two younger brothers.As you can imagine it was quite a hectic household.

At the time there were always lots of new and strange words being said,i say strange because i didnt hear these words outside of my home,except when i started going to St. hill.
The first time i remember going to St.Hill(at least i think it was the 1st time)i met LRH,he was coming along the drive in his car(a while ago,i noticed Alan put a photo of it on here)He stopped and chatted to us,he smiled alot and was very friendly.When he drove off,my dad told me'what an important man he was.' What did i know,i idolised my Dad and if he told me 'he was an important man' then that was the truth,wasn't it?I found St. Hill fascinating,all the grounds,the huge manor house and other buildings.And as a child i remember thinking 'wow,this LRH must be as important as i had been told.What i found very strange,when going through the buildings were all these people hooked up to e-metres,i used to stare,wondering what on earth they were doing.To me it seemed a very strange thing to be doing.I couldn't understand any of it.Slowly i just accepted that thats what happened at St.hill,but it did play on my mind that i didn' see anything like it anywhere else.

Like kids do i used to listen in on adult conversation quite alot.One such conversation played on my mind abit.That when you died,you dropped your body and went and found a new body to inhabbit(I didn't know the word thetan then).At school i'd learnt that if you died,you were dead.That was it.This caused me a fair bit of conflict.At the time one of my brothers had been stung by a bee,i was aware that if you got stung some people died as a reaction.My brother wouldn't stop screaming,i was very upset and was crying, convinced he would die and go and be somebody else.I didn't want him to be anyone else.I wanted him to stay being him.Our parents didn't know what the hell was going on.My brother and i cried ourselves to sleep wrapped around one another and i prayed with all my might he would be ok,it was such a relief to find him alive in the morning.

I know this might seem really silly to some,but it's important to show how a child's mind works when faced with things they don't understand,also it's all relevent to my story as a whole.
When my youngest brother was born i overheard a conversation that talked about a thetan entering my baby brothers body.Someone that was dead had gone into my brothers body.WHAT!S omeone famous had died at the time and my Dad seemed to think it would be great if that person was my baby bro. I didn't swear in those days but i would have done had i known how to.I really didn't like the idea at all.I put it out of my mind,but sometimes it bothered me abit.I loved both of my brothers very much and in many ways was like a second little Mummy to them.
But sometimes i heard some strange stuff,that i really did not understand at all.
More tomorrow,Tamasin

Sharon Stainforth

Continued here...

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 02, 2012, 04:24:28 PM
                                        2nd September 2012

             Young girl imprisoned, beaten and abused in Sea Org Headquarter, Dundas, Australia

    The following is translated from, the front end to one of the largest BBS in Taiwan, where almost all college students are registered. The victim is well known to the Church of Scientology and her brother made public the incident with real names. The Australian Federal Police, Taiwan Ministry of Foreign Affairs and local hospitals have plenty of records. Australian media is aware. The OP sanitized the names.


    This happened to my colleague. One day he disappeared after work. I asked around and heard that he went to work in Australia. This is common so I didn't ask. Until a few days ago he came back and turned up at a company event. I didn't chat with him much because I thought that he completed his task in Australia and resumed his duties.

    This is what he posted on the community page of the company on Facebook, and asked us to tell as many people as possible. Please consider very carefully in joining any religious groups.

    Victim's brother Jake:

    I am beginning my military service. There is something that I want to be honest with you. Also, please help! As a matter of fact, I don't have direct connections to the xx bureau, but I think our bureau has influence in the world.

    I was stunned when xx said that I was gone without saying goodbye. But that is what actually happened. First, I asked for a few days off, and then disappeared. I went to Australia. Doing what? I didn't say clearly and honestly. But in fact, it isn't glorious.

    This is what happened. My sister Alisa joined a religion — Scientology. She went to Australia using religious reasons. Three months later, my sister called home. She told us that she was imprisoned, beaten and abused in a Scientology base. She needed us there to rescue her. Unbelievable! We first thought it was one of the fake kidnapping schemes that cheats ransom money out of us. But it was no doubt my sister. She was sent to a hospital because of serious injuries. The Australian medical system isolated her from Scientologists, so she had the chance to call home for help.

    First, we asked for help from the Ministry of Foreign Affairs, Taiwan. The Ministry staff pointed out that on average, an incident occurs every three months when parents come looking for their children. These children all went to Scientology in Australia, and mostly disappeared.

    Later, I came across anti-Scientology groups. Nearly all of them ex-followers escaped from Scientology. With their help, I went to the unfamiliar Australia with connections. But my sister went to a psychiatric hospital. Although in my opinion, apart from the physical wounds, she has no mental problems. Australia's mental health care system is very strict, not easily allowing patients to be discharged. My sister stayed in the hospital under observation for nearly two months. So I checked into the home of an ex-Scientologist, commuting to visit my sister almost every day. I also listened to an ex-Scientologist, once trapped inside for more than 10 years, for a lot of inhumane treatments inside. During the hospital stay the Australian Federal Police came to take note. I'm back now after two months.

    It seemed very exaggerated, very serious, but this is real, all true. What I ask everyone to help is to talk about it. Let everyone know that "Scientology" is engaged in such things, because Scientology is here in Taiwan. And that is what I introduced to others like a salesman. A friend introduced me, and I introduced Scientology to my sister. My sister went to the headquarter in Dundas, where she was abused. Now I know how terrible Scientology is. In fact, I believe somebody know about the Scientology scandals in the bureau, bro' xx and lil' x ... But no one warned me! Why? Could be because I was in the midst of pleasure!

    Lil' x, please take the trouble to send my message to the priest during worship. Ask him to tell the faithful that they must be especially careful of Scientology, because the surface looks quite gorgeous and beautiful, but in the name of religion, to do good, to help, to learn knowledge, it's actually a money-making fraud, and even engages in human trafficking.

    Strictly speaking this is a private matter, but thank you for help anyway. After my military service I will be back to the bureau, but I may be in Australia for a period of time to sue the Church of Scientology.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 03, 2012, 07:48:02 AM
                                                    Suicide of Greg Bashaw

    For the newbies, here a story of a true Scientologist... who was betrayed
    Based upon the story ""Death of a Scientologist," by Tori Marlan, Published in The Chicago Reader August 16, 2002

    January 16, 2003
    By Rick Ross
    Scientologist Greg Bashaw reached far beyond the mythical plateau of achievement that Scientologists call "clear." Bashaw rose to Operating Thetan Level 7 or "OT7."

    Putting this in pop perspective, movie stars John Travolta and Tom Cruise have not yet reached the level Bashaw achieved.

    The highest level a Scientologist can hope for is OT8.

    But after 20 years of Scientology courses, auditing and training Bashaw killed himself.

    He was married and left behind a teenage son. Bashaw was once a successful advertising executive, but he died broke, deeply in debt and unemployed. And the church he had dedicated so much of his life to abandoned him through "excommunication."

    Greg's father Bob struggles to understand what happened to his son. He says, "I knew him and this wasn't him -- What the hell happened here?"

    However, Bob knew about his son's dedication to Scientology. Early on Greg borrowed thousands of dollars from his father for Scientology-related courses.

    Bob says Greg used one of the loans to go with Laura to the church's Los Angeles complex for course work; he paid it back with interest, explaining that he'd felt pressured by the church to pay. He wrote his father, "Our financial officer for the Church informed us we would need another $1,700 to pay for the package we were securing. It was imperative to get it this past week; otherwise the annual price increase, which he had held off for us through administrative fancywork, would go into effect. Simply put, if we didn't send the money Wednesday, the prices would have gone up on us by $500."

    Greg's parents were divorced. His mother quickly realized that her son was involved in something she felt was potentially dangerous. Bob received a letter from his ex-wife during 1981 citing an article about Scientology in Reader's Digest titled, "Scientology: Anatomy of a Frightening Cult."

    Greg's mother said in her letter that when she'd questioned Greg about the article, he claimed it was part of a conspiracy contrived against Scientology by "psychiatrists."

    Greg's mother passed away before her son's suicide, but it was clear that she was deeply concerned about his involvement with Scientology.

    Bob instead essentially accepted his son's involvement and did nothing.

    Bob knew about Scientology's bad press, but when Greg said the stories about were not true, Bob accepted it.

    Greg unsuccessfully tried to recruit his father.

    Bob continued to have nagging doubts, but says, "There wasn't any big red flag that went up. And that's really what I was looking for."

    At times Bob defended Greg to other family members. He said that he would "do battle" with Greg's aunts. In a letter to one of them he wrote: "The horror stories of Scientology victims and my imagination, plus what I have read, certainly conjure up rage and anxiety." But he couldn't bring himself to take any action. He said, "Integrity does not permit me to have a loving relationship with him while covertly working against what he sincerely believes in."

    Bob concluded that his son was "free to make his own choices in life."

    Greg largely cut his mother off after she criticized Scientology. Bob was afraid the same thing would happen to him. A bitter divorce had isolated him from his other children, but Greg had been away at college during that period. Bob wondered, "Do I take this position to not alienate him because he is the one of three children of mine that I am in touch with? The only one I can share my feelings and he truly shares his feelings with me? The answer is no."

    So Bob decided to remain silent about Scientology.

    Greg went to Clearwater, Florida, a bastion of Scientology, to take courses, which strained his budget. His wife and son did not accompany him because it cost too much. Money became tight for the Bashaw family, despite the fact that Greg earned a large income.

    However, like most Scientologists Greg thought it was all worth it. He wrote, "Scientology has saved my ass, that's for sure. Now I'm unstuck, in the know, and working towards completion. It will be a new life when I get back."

    Greg even believed his training enabled him to talk to the dead. He wrote Bob, "It's easy, like talking on a telephone, when you have the hang of it." Greg didn't divulge details because his talks with the dead "happened in the context of formal auditing sessions and so are confidential."

    Bob remembers thinking, "What is this crap?" He considered doing something and claims he knew it was "bullshit." But in the end he did nothing. He rationalized; that maybe it is possible to speak with the dead?

    Greg seemed to have a "good life." Married with a son, living in a two-story house on 16 acres of land in Barrington Hills, Illinois. And he was a highly paid successful executive at a well-known advertising firm.

    But Greg was spending large sums of money on Scientology. Greg not only paid for costly courses; he donated even more cash to the controversial church. So much that they made him a "patron" of the International Association of Scientologists.

    And Greg Bashaw decided to take on Scientology's critics by harassing them at anti-cult conferences.

    "None of my encounters with Greg were pleasant," says Reg Alev, a former executive director of the now defunct Cult Awareness Network (CAN), which was bankrupted by Scientology lawsuits. He says Greg even confronted him on the way to the bathroom, yelling about CAN being a terrorist organization. Alev adds, "He was extremely confrontational and loud."

    Jim Beebe also once associated with CAN says Greg picketed outside the CAN office and even outside staff members' homes. In 1992 Greg and other Scientologists sued the group, claiming religious discrimination, when they were refused membership. And Greg filed a complaint with the Illinois Department of Human Rights.

    Cynthia Kisser, executive director of CAN after Alev, said Greg's actions were part of an organized effort to "harass and disrupt" the network. She says that during the early to mid 90s Scientologists like Greg filed 50 nearly identical lawsuits and human rights complaints against CAN. Eventually they were dismissed, but they took their toll on the organization financially. Scientology eventually sued CAN into bankruptcy.

    Greg left one advertising firm for another in 1997, but it was demotion according to his father. Bob later found out Greg quit after his old firm took on Prozac as a client, a drug that Scientology's Citizens Commission on Human Rights (CCHR) claimed could lead to "homicidal rages," suicide and had tried to get the FDA to ban.

    Scientology believes they have the answers for mental health and are totally opposed to psychiatry and psychiatric drugs such as Prozac.

    Bob says he could tell Greg was changing. His conversation was stilted and often he just repeated what someone else said. He wasn't his usual self. A former professional associate characterized Greg as "a deep thinker," but observed that his old friend's "creativity was not at the same level of consistency." Greg admitted that this was "connected to the auditing." Auditing is the intensive question and answer sessions Scientologists undergo with their "auditors," in an effort to supposedly "clear" themselves.

    In September of 2000 Greg Bashaw returned once again to Clearwater for more Scientology training. His father finally said, "Greg, you're spending a hell of a lot of time down there. I don't understand it. You're spending time away from your job, and you're spending time away from your family." But Greg only answered, "You're right, dad. You don't understand it."

    Greg was now an OT7 and he didn't get back from this trip for a month. When he saw his father again he admitted that he'd been fired from his job.

    When Bob met with Greg later after that trip he learned that his son planned to kill himself. Greg was going to drive to a forest preserve and drink a bottle of Drano. Bob said, "I'm holding him, and he's saying he failed everybody, he isn't worth anything, he's a total failure."

    Greg's last trip to Clearwater was apparently a disaster. "They threw him out," Bob says. Greg told his father that his church said they couldn't help him and sent him away, telling him never to return.

    At this point the reality of his son's situation hit Bob hard. He said, "This is when the whole thing hit the fan with me. I realized what the hell [Scientology] had done to him."

    Bob wanted his son to go to a psychiatric hospital and he says Greg's wife agreed. "That surprised me," Bob said, but it seems by this time Greg's wife had quit Scientology.

    Greg checked into the psychiatric ward of a local hospital, such places are anathema to Scientologists who ardently oppose psychiatry.

    The following morning in the psych unit, the first thing Bob told his son was that Scientology was evil and that it was his enemy. Greg seemed upset by this. "It was as if I'd slapped him in the face," says his father.

    Greg tried to commit suicide twice in the next couple of months. His teenage son found him the first time on the floor, almost dead. The second time he emailed a suicide note to a friend who alerted the police. They arrived just in time to save his life again.

    Then Greg promised his father he wouldn't try to kill himself again.

    A Scientology spokesperson denied that the church excommunicated Greg. She said, "He seemed to be having some rather large troubles and he left the church to go sort out his life." But she added, "Frankly, no Scientologist would ever seek psychiatry as a solution to their problems."

    When asked why so many former Scientologists so ardently oppose the church its spokesperson said, "There's only one reason and one reason only, they have lots of words they don't understand." A cryptic allusion that whatever failure there was it was a personal failure, rather than anything Scientology did.

    In the Spring of 2001, things seemed hopeful. Greg was working again. An old friend found him a job. Bob visited with his son and he seemed to be getting better.

    But Bob still wondered would he be alright? He wrote his son about a retreat for cult survivors in Ohio called Wellspring. Greg wasn't interested. He responded that "One of the things that happens when you have the bad experiences that I've had is that people assume your own beliefs are faulty." Greg rejected any possibility of professional help Wellspring might offer.

    Greg then began to shut down. Phone messages from his father went unanswered and letters were returned. Greg finally wrote back and explained, "It's almost as if I had a stroke on a mental and spiritual level, and I have to start with learning how to use a fork again, metaphorically."

    Greg Bashaw finally admitted, "For the last 10 years I was fooling myself regarding the services I was taking [with Scientology], and whether they were advancing me. I wanted them to be... In retrospect, I would have been better the last ten years to have focused on simply building a family life, and on work, as most people do... Being on the services the whole time was almost unbelievably demanding in terms of time, money and commitment. The fact that it did not 'pay off' has been an exceptionally bitter pill to swallow. The fact that at the end of the road I ended up in worse shape than I'd ever been in my entire life... well, that has been completely irreconcilable with any concept of reality."

    But Greg seemed to be considering his future, He said, "I would like to get to a point where the focus of my life is not on my disability. It's been very difficult talking to people lately, because typically the whole conversation pivots around how well I'm doing or not doing."

    But whatever optimism Greg expressed it dissipated by that summer. A former Scientologist he confided in said Greg told him that he "had broken something that the Church of Scientology could fix, [but] they weren't going to fix it."

    During the last two months of his life Greg had no work. He stayed at home and deteriorated. He owed the bank $27,000 and $29,000 on credit cards. Bob says that early that year Greg's wife talked about suing Scientology to recover the money they'd paid in advance for auditing and course work. Bob says he was told they had "a balance of nearly $200,000 in credit."

    However, Greg wouldn't sue. He wrote his father, "It would subject me and my family to a great deal of shame and embarrassment, and additionally such a stance does not reflect what I believe to be true."

    His old friend got a call from Greg. "He asked me, 'What can I do?' He was in torment. He felt like he was losing control. I didn't have an answer. I asked him to come here right away." Greg drove for hours to his friend's home in another town. His friend recalled, "He arrived at my house, coherent but just barely hanging on. Greg was shaking and had all but lost the ability to function."

    Greg agreed to check himself into a hospital. At first he refused medication and counseling. As a devoted Scientologist he had been drilled to resist the evils of psychiatry.

    Bashaw had spent more than 20 years in Scientology. He gave the group everything he had spiritually, mentally, and financially. He wanted to lose his "reactive mind," but in the end he just lost his mind. His father says, "There were periods of time he was rational and he realized he was losing it and it was a terror, a horrible thing to him."

    A former long-term member of Scientology explained that the church claims "it has the solution to all your problems. Then you realize most of the problems you had, Scientology created. That former member, who met Bashaw concluded, "Greg knew this but couldn't accept it. Greg Bashaw could not let go of the mental indoctrination he'd swallowed hook, line, and sinker -- he had a hard time struggling with the fact that he'd been living a lie. Everything he thought was real wasn't real anymore."

    Greg wrote his father for the last time during the summer of 2002, "I wanted to call on Father's Day but was hospitalized and had no calling card. My condition worsened dramatically three weeks ago. I have been in the hospital the last two weeks and am now moving to an intensive outpatient status."

    But despite his condition Greg still insisted that his wife not sue Scientology. He said, "They would put 50 lawyers on the case. They would employ private investigators, and the like, to help win their case. And the stress would be enormous... If you could get her to consider these points, as I have repeatedly over the last few months, it would be greatly appreciated."

    Greg then said, "I told them this morning I still felt depressed and suicidal," and ended cryptically, "P.S. Thanks for being a great dad."

    After leaving the hospital Greg drove to his friend's house and had dinner. It seemed like he was recovering and he talked about further treatment. But just three days later Greg Bashaw pulled onto the shoulder of a road, duct taped a hose from the exhaust pipe of his car into a window and sealed it tightly with a towel. He then sat in the passenger seat until he took his last breath of carbon monoxide.

    Greg Bashaw ended his life just like Scientology's founder L Ron Hubbard's son had 25 years earlier.

    The police found a suicide note in his hotel room. It said simply, "Goodbye [son], you were a good buddy. Love dad."

    Note: Based upon "Death of a Scientologist," by Tori Marlan, Published in The Chicago Reader August 16, 2002

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 11, 2012, 11:08:41 PM
                               My story:- Why did I sign that contract, then another one?

    Profile:- Day staff member in Australia 79-83 then more involvement as a public person in 86-77.
    I mainly worked in Division II and IV. I trained and became an auditor and course supervisor. Things were sort of, going ok until the Ethics Mission came along.
    I have only recently come on this site and already gotten a number of answers from issues that have bugged me for many years. While on staff I tended to think I was the only one who thought a certain way and sincerely came to believe there was something terribly wrong with me, and I was an evil, bad person to the point that when I left the cult I loathed myself, and it took many, many years to recover and fully realise what a negative effect the cult had on me. I have recently had a major operation and even then I was mistrusting about the Specialists and overly worried about the effect the anaesthetic would have on my body, all from Scientology indoctrination. Rather than just getting on with it like the other patients around me.

    To start my story my Aunt became involved with the cult and I had some free time as I was looking for a job. My Aunt convinced me to checkout the Org and then receive some free auditing from a student doing an interneship. She made out that Auditing was the greatest thing in the world. I ended up in tears while I had this auditing as I found trying to word clear Scientology terms way too difficult to understand and the list of words seemed never ending. I chose not to continue this auditing. However not long afterwards she convinced me to go back and do volunteer work which I did as I was staying at her house. That was the beginning of a chapter in my life that I completely and totally regret.

    Yes you guessed it, before I knew both Fdn and Day Org were clambering over me trying to recruit me with full gusto. I had only just started seeing a man who I eventually married. As it turns out he had recently been body routed about two months previous and was now the Personal Procurement Officer (PPO) in HCO. He was madly trying to recruit me along with the ED. I could see him perspiring and desperately glancing around the room, looking almost afraid that he would get persecuted if I did not sign the contract for 2.5 years.

 I was really struggling to get a job and was told how I would acquire the skills to operate competently in the work force and how auditing and training would make me a far greater and more competent person. Being an absolutely gullible twit and only 19 years of age I signed on the dotted line. In hindsight I think why wasn’t I told all the implications about being on staff. I knew the pay was from donations and varied each week, but did not realise that it could be sometimes months with zero pay or perhaps $10.00 pw if things were on a high. I was also not aware that I was obliged to train every week night so I had to earn an income over the weekend. I also was dumb enough not to realise I was expected to become a Scientologist, whereas I was of the thinking that I could just dabble and take on board the aspects that resonated positively with me.

    I had recently commenced the comm course, and I thought it was novel and a bit of fun, but really disliked the way most of the staff tended to stare at me, and looked overly attentive and acknowledged me a bit too much if I said anything. Even to this day I wondered about the effectiveness of TRO, bullbaiting and the endless Do birds Fly? Or Do fish swim? Even at that early stage I thought these people are off their rockers, but then they were nice people and very friendly and hey it was a totally new experience and I would learn from it. I felt really foolish for signing the contract for 2.5 years, but felt I had to honour my commitment, and commence work as an Expeditor in Division II....

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 27, 2012, 06:41:57 PM
                                         Adam Holland: Letter to David Miscavige

    So, I've never actually written anything to David, and you probably already know why I haven't bothered.

    To send my letter, I used RTC website, to save paper. There was no email address so I used the "Send a Report" feature. The report always goes to RTC Reports Off, and I had to add a "CC: COB RTC" and then found out that I would have to print of a copy for the recipient of the CC. Great. Well I will mail the CC to him too.

    Surprisingly the form asked for my date of birth, but well, they've already got that in a personnel file somewhere.

    Here is my letter, and I don't anticipate a swift reply.

    Adam Holland
    P.O. Box 30527
    10660 Yonge st
    Richmond Hill ON L4C 0C7

    David Miscavige
    c/o Religious Technology Center International
    1710 Ivar Avenue, Suite 1100
    Los Angeles, CA 90028 U.S.A.

    Mr. Miscavige,

    My name is Adam Holland. 24 years ago I was born to Scientologist parents, raised a Scientologist, and joined the Sea Org in 2007. After two years I became aware of the use destructive mind control techniques on Sea Org members by various seniors, including Sigourney Bergeron and CMO Canada staff. This includes isolation from outside family members, interrogation and 'scare tactics' such as threats of disconnection from family.

    Later in 2009, after I discovered on-line reports which made it clear that not only does this behavior occur in all CLOs over the world, but that this abusive treatment is most extreme at INT. My father, Paul Holland, mentioned that he would write to you to have this matter resolved. In a final meeting with Yvette Shank, CO OSACAN, she spoke to me about the reports. On the matter of your personal behavior, she told me that that you appeared “friendly and caring” after briefly meeting you some time ago. She refused to believe that the reports could be true. I don't wish to discuss the credibility of the sources, as I am an eyewitness to the treatment of Sea Org members, including the intimidation tactics used by “Mr. Z,” your RTC representative in LA. Rather then address these concerns, anyone who has made such a report has been declared a suppressive person, including myself. The enforcement of disconnection tears families apart, and causes untold hardship for those affected.

    I don't know if my father ever wrote to you, but the declare certainly has not been 'handled' and I miss him very much. David, I have never written to you about this, quite honestly, because I am sure that you don't care about me and my family, or anyone else. If you aren't doing anything about the mind control and intimidation in the Sea Org, and if you aren't doing anything about the torn families, then I must conclude that you approve of and support these destructive actions. You are not operating behind the scenes anymore, you are now under the watch of the general public. It is about time you took some responsibility in these matters. Taking responsibility may include turning yourself in to the Police. It will take a lot of courage, but it would be the most honorable thing you could do


    Adam Holland.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 29, 2012, 10:31:13 PM
                             Post-Traumatic Stress after Escaping Scientology

Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 30, 2012, 09:42:14 PM
                                       I don't care anymore. I'm proud to be OUT

    Hi there. I can't remember if I posted before because the past two years of my life have been riddled with fear, doubt, emptiness, guilt, anger, etc... I was born and raised in this bullshit and in 2010 I found out it was all a lie. Luckily, I got out in time to make sure my three kids are safe. Unfortunately, I am stuck staying with a relative who is in still. I'm so sick of hearing scn talk I get IRATE when she speaks. I'm so angry.

The more I read, the more angry I get. Johnny Lewis was a friend of mine many years ago. I am starting therapy on Tuesday because I can't get ahold of myself after the 30 years of brainwashing and the constant guilt the family member I stay with jabs at me. There is SO much to my story. I'm trying very hard to get it written but I suffered an accident several years ago that screwed up my time recognition and my memory. Not to mention the "PTSD" or whatever you want to call it, caused by finding out the truth about this cult causes my shirt term memory to be almost non existent. My story is VERY interesting and I'm not afraid anymore to tell it. I hope the fall of the cult is extreme so I can be there to throw a tech vol on the fire.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 05, 2012, 09:29:55 PM
                            One more AWFUL "OT 8" Story: WHY NOT TO JOIN $CIENTOLOGY!!

    If you think you've heard all, please read this. It was posted
    today on Marty's site and one of my ex's friends PM'd me about it:

    Lordburg12 | October 4, 2012 at 12:23 pm | Reply

    Here’s another horror story about an Idle Org:

    During the renovation process of the new 50,000 square feet building, the local org management decided to hold a recruit event in the building, even though it was under construction. The DSA, Eden Stein, neglected to get a permit to stage the event, which meant that there was no insurance coverage.

    Not a brilliant idea to have 100 public traipsing through a construction scene!

    Sure enough, one of the OTC members helping with the dinner and event fell into a four foot deep pit late that night and severely injured his shoulder. This required hospitalization and surgery and he had no insurance. The renovation company’s insurance wouldn’t cover his expenses since they hadn’t authorized any public in the area. The org had no insurance since the DSA hadn’t gotten the permit.

    So, did the org step up and offer to pay the 30K medical expenses from the renovations fund to this OTC member—– who had donated 100K to this building and another 100K to the IAS?

    Uh, no……..

    The ED and DSA couldn’t even be bothered to check up on the recovery of this guy, let alone return his calls about medical bills. After all, he was PTS and had pulled in the accident….

    Saddest of all is the fact that this guy still guzzles the Kool-Aid and helps the org. And since he had no insurance and couldn’t get the required physical therapy after surgery, his shoulder will never be right again.

    Carol | October 4, 2012 at 1:32 pm | Reply

    Lordburg12, this is a sad story. Actually its criminal.
    Bury the Nuts | October 4, 2012 at 2:03 pm | Reply

    That is unconscionable!
    Tory Christman | October 4, 2012 at 2:32 pm | Reply
    Your comment is awaiting moderation.

    Thank you for posting this, Lordburg12. This story is SO utterly sad, and worst of all, it’s about my Ex-husband. Yes, some of his friends are now out and told me the entire story, as you explained. The worst was left out: Due to they NOT helping him…he is now crippled in his right arm. THEY DON’T HAVE INSURANCE? F********* YOU OSA. This story should be on the front page of every major magazine on “Why one should NOT join C of $”

    IF you are "in" or even thinking of joining $cientology,
    please, please read, LOOK, LISTEN____Learn both sides

    Love to ALL...and to my Ex, if he reads this: WTFU and get OUT.

    To Yaude---who I KNOW will read this: FU! You can run, but you
    CANNOT hide. Shame on you for this. You're an auditor--you're supposed
    to help people. Think of "A Few Good Men" at the end, when the one
    military man says: "I don't get it! What did we do wrong? WE WERE FOLLOWING ORDERS.

    And his friend says: " Yes we did: We were supposed to protect people, we were supposed to protect Willy,
    and we didn't do that". Yaude? The same holds true for you, and ANY Other Scio reading this story. You know who you are.

Tory Magoo!!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 09, 2012, 10:13:12 PM
                                              David C. Gibbons Story : Part the First

Not to be confused with Dave Gibbons, OT 8 from Sydney.  "Panda Termint" on ESMB

Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 18, 2012, 01:08:29 PM
                                             The Road to RPF.

    A new Sea Org member is often told that only the lazy bastards with low stats end up in RPF.

    There is some truth in this statement; I would say that 30% of the RPF staff did fail to produce adequate stats. But the other 70% were sent to RPF for the “sins” that have nothing to do with the poor job performance. In fact, they did nothing that would justify their punishment. But before I explain why they were subjected to the horrific punishment, I would like to present several stories of the people who did not deserve the RPF humiliation.

    Bill was an assistant course supervisor at ASHO Day. His job was easy by CoS standards: He was supposed to keep the classroom tables clean, supply the students with clay and other course-related materials, etc. His stats were normal and far above the level that would qualify him as an RPFer. And yet one day I saw him in RPF. He was so scared that could not make eye contact, and did not want to have a conversation with me (I was an ASHO Day student at that time).

    I met Leanne when I was doing EPF chores; she was working at OT Org where I was mopping the floors during my first EPF week. Unlike other Sea Org members who did not like the noisy EPF folk, she was very friendly with me and my coworkers. Her stats were far above the average level. But that did not save her from RPF.

    I met Christina after I was booted out of Sea Org. She was working for a computer org (I do not remember its official name; we all called it “computer org” because its staff were mostly computer programmers). She was a very experienced programmer, and a very smart person. She told me that the kind of programming she was doing for Sea Org was much simpler than the one that she used to do in real world. Yes, she was a smart cookie who had MS in Electrical Engineering with concentration in control systems theory (this is the most difficult EE major). But she was sent to RPF.
    At that time I already knew why her good stats did not save her from RPF.

    That faithful day I begun my Sea Org work at 6:00 AM, which was very unusual for me. It was Thursday the Stats Day; I wanted to finish my work before 2:00 PM (the former Sea Org members and CoS staff members know what this timeline means), and to take off for the rest of the day. As I was doing my work, I heard my bosses entering the building at 6: 30 AM. They both were talking loud not knowing that I was sitting in the next room.

    I learned from my bosses’ conversation that they had an order from CMO (Commodore Messenger Org) to select two individuals for a slaughter, so to speak -- these poor souls were needed in RPF. You see, the RPF size should not go below certain level because CoS need a lot of people for manual labor .

    All members of my Org had decent stats at that time, so our bosses were faced with a difficult choice. Several names were thrown around, then I heard one of them calling my name. “He won’t go”, said the other boss (he was damn right about that). They moved down the list of names without paying extra attention to my useless persona. Finally, they selected two individuals whose jobs were not crucial to the Org’s success.

    Mighty Stalin used to do the same thing in Communist Russia -- he wanted to keep the Gulag Archipelago population at certain level by sending innocent people to the concentration camps. LRH was imitating Stalin with his RPF policies!

    Year after I had left Sea Org one of my friends, who spent 7 years of his life in this twisted organization before saying goodbye to the Scientology scam, informed me that, indeed, LRH wrote several policy letters stating that the RPF size should increase as the years go by (apparently, he meant by that that the Sea Org will be expanding, so the percentage of RPF workers should remain the same). I was still a Scientologist at that time, so I thought that Hubbard the Mathematician was right.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 20, 2012, 08:47:33 AM

                            LONDON EVENING STANDARD

Meet Martin, the RAF officer’s son from Surrey, who endured 31 years at the dark heart of Scientology

As the film The Master, out next month, turns the spotlight onto Scientology once more, Joshi Herrmann talks to a former adherent who left the church but can never escape it

Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 26, 2012, 07:08:47 AM
                                  Scientology's Secret Plans For Canada - MacLean's

Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 29, 2012, 12:19:08 PM
                                            Thank you for what you do here at ESMB

    Hello ESMB and thank you for having me!

    Just a little bit about why I am here.. You know, for me it's not the Tom Cruise thing or the gossip. I'll take my gossip watching the Real Housewives franchises or Big Brother in the summer. Heck, I even have an extremely active and happy social and travel life..It's the fact that children are being hurt all over my state & country let alone the planet and they are part of the future of my friends children who will be living in this place as well. I do not have any children myself..although we are still trying but I'm 38 so..we shall see.

    It is ridiculous that we have these problems in our sophisticated first world country, I'm in Florida. This cult problem just feels like one that is small enough to be taken on and effect change. Even if just by talking about it with my 'wog' friends and spreading the knowledge. It's not like we have to boil the ocean. I just don't understand why the press isn't covering this more..on a real level. If it takes Tom Cruise, so be's just distressing that we know so little about this in the 'wog' world..what other awful things are happening to people we don't hear?

    It scares the shit out of me that we have a group (Scientology) that has its own police, judicial system, secret service, and prisons. Somehow they remain above the laws I have to follow and the press/media cover bullshit like "will Tom see Suri?" While forced abortions (I am pro choice but this is not choice), slavery cloaked as 'religious order', and child abuse is going down just a few hours north of me! Hell, it doesn't matter where it is geo located, the fact that this is happening at all is what has me so impassioned.

    I'm here to learn and spread the word to others that don't know. I've had some experience as a child with friends who's parents were in. I grew up in LA and it was all the rage in the early and mid '80s when I was in elementary school. I remember watching 60 Minutes with my grandparents and them discussing what parents I kinda had to watch out for and to tell them if weird things happen when playing at those houses.

    We moved back east when I was around 12 and this is not something that was talked about much in my world of Northern Virginia. I remember when I was 18 and DM was on Nightline and I thought maybe they have cleaned it all up? I remember being in college and seeing commercials for Dianetics and thinking maybe I should read that.. but when I found out I had to pay for it I decided never mind LOL.. who knows what would have happened if they had a group at my college. It could have just as easily been me a half dozen times. It wasn't me though.. it was most of you.. so even though I was not part of your hell I feel connected and I want to help raise awareness of this awful stuff.

    Thank you for reading and thank you for teaching!
    All my respect and fondness,

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 01, 2012, 07:28:59 AM
Tuesday, October 30, 2012
                                                        My Apologies

Samuel Johnson said "The road to hell is paved with good intentions". 

Almost all the staff members I ever knew had good intentions.  Most of the parishioners too.  So did I.  The problem is, you can have all the good intentions in the world and still do bad things to people if what you believe in is not what was advertised.  I am sure that the priests of the Inquisition  thought they had good intentions when they burned the alleged heretics at the stake.  Scientologists justify their actions sometimes by saying "greatest good for the greatest number on dynamics". (A human's urge to survive by himself, sex and children, his groups, all mankind, etc) Basically, what is meant by this is what is the greatest good for Scientology because they believe that Scientology is the only way mankind will be able to survive on Earth.  At the time, I believed it too.

There were things that I did and cycles of action that I was involved in that, at the time I thought was doing the best for Scientology and mankind.  Now, those same actions fill me with guilt and shame.  I actually think that this, for me, is the definition of Karma.  That little thing called a conscience.  I know there are many ex-Scientologists that feel the same way.  For many of us, exposing the lies and crimes of Scientology is a way to make up for the damage that we perceive that we have done.

The following are some of the actions that I did or was involved in.  Sometimes I still feel like kicking my ass.

As the Public Executive Secretary (P.E.S. - Over the division responsible for getting new people into Scientology),of the Mission at Hesperia, California and the Organization at Las Vegas, Nevada, I personally sold over a thousand Dianetics books, and was responsible for getting others for selling even more, thus exposing thousands of people to Dianetics and Scientology for the first time.

Also, as the P.E.S., I personally signed hundreds of people to some kind of introductory service, (course, auditing or extension course).  When I didn't have someone at my desk to sign up, I was busy on the phone, trying to get new people in, or existing parishioners back in for further services as recovering people is under the Public Division.

There were more than a few occasions that I recovered or helped to recover staff members and got them back on staff, even to the point of signing them to new contracts.

As the P.E.S. and then as the Executive Director of the Las Vegas Organization, I was responsible for signing many new people on staff, including kids as young as 15, with parental consent.  Even "helping" some of them to decide to go into the Sea Organization.

Let me take a moment here to explain what parental consent is in Scientology.  When a teenager has been convinced to sign a staff or Sea Org contract, it is considered a done deal, whether the parents like it or not. Yes, legally, you need to have the parents signature on the contract if that teenager is under the age of 18 but, these parents are already Scientologists, so they are easily manipulated one way or another.  If the child is going to be a staff member there at the Org, it is pretty easy to convince the parents to sign.  You assure them that they will be able to continue their education and just work evenings and weekends until they have finished high school.  The odds are the kid will last only a short time on staff or will drop out of school to work full time at the org so they can get training and auditing for free.  If the child is being signed to the Sea Org, you may have to get heavy handed with the parents.  Again you assure them that the child will continue their education, even though you know that this is not true.  The only education they will receive is Scientology.  If the parents still balk, you bring in the point that this is for the greater good of the greatest number of dynamics.  And if the parents still resist, then you get a little mean, telling them that they are "ethics bait" and that they may be giving up their entire eternity by not allowing this to go through.  Most of the time this is effective as the parents know you have just threatened them with expulsion from the church.  99% of the time, they will sign.

After I was made the Executive Director, I appointed my best friend to the post of P.E.S. even though I knew he wasn't really up to the job.  He was totally overwhelmed and I had to continually step in and convince him, step-by-step, that he could do the job.  I was slowly bringing him along and he would have been good at it given enough time.  Not too long after this, every Org was ordered to send two people to Los Angeles for some special "secret" training.  Upper management had already decided who I was to send, it was just my job to convince them to go.  Well of course, he was one of them.  I didn't really want to do this, but I was under orders.  So I did.  Even though I know that he wasn't going to make it.  What I didn't know was that it would damn near destroy his mind.  I am so sorry for this.  I hope he rests in peace.  I was informed recently that he died of cancer several years ago.

For those of you who were on staff at the time, the above "secret training" was known as the Key to Life evolution.

The other person I sent was the Org's receptionist.  She was also my fiancee.  Shortly after she went to L.A. she joined the Sea Org.  I was not eligible for the Sea Org, so that was the end of that relationship.

I need to tell all of these people above that I am heartily sorry for these actions.  I really thought I was doing the right thing.

Thank you, my friends, for staying with me during this series.  Stay tuned, there is more to come.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 02, 2012, 06:54:12 AM
 My recent visit to an Ideal Org

    Last weekend my wife and I were in Seattle for a continuing education course. She asked to go visit the Seattle Idle Morgue again and check on a long standing "incomplete cycle". Our last visit was in August 2011--and we hadn't heard back from them since that time. It has been years since I wrote a Knowledge Report, but I did I don't expect it to be read under the circumstances though I'm sure that if it was read and understood it would probably be of assistance to those involved. Please forgive me for trying to help the "church":
    John Kimball
    3151 E 29th Ave
    Spokane WA 99223

    Oct. 30, 2012

    Reports Off RTC Int; Int Justice Chief;
    I & R Chf HCO Int; Sr. HAS WUS
    HES Seattle Org

    Knowledge Report

    re: Tonya Campbell, HAS Seattle Org
    "Hats, not wearing"

    Please note: if you wonder why your Org stats are down, please read this carefully. This KR is not for me--it is for "you". The "money" involved here from my view is trivial--the principles involved are not.

    Last Friday October 26 and my wife and I visited the Seattle org and asked to talk with the Chaplain. The purpose of this visit was to follow up on an inquiry we'd made in person August of last year about some money that was due to my wife Kay, for sale of an E-meter. The treasury person at that time said that they would review the account and have somebody get back to us about what happened.
    There had been no communication from the Org since then.

    Some background information: Kay agreed about the time of auditor's day 1990 to sell an E meter at a reduced price to the org as a present for an auditor selected for auditor's day. The agreed price was $2700. Kay provided the meter and the org did not pay her. She requested a chaplain's court and was heard by acting ED Nancy Anderson-Edwards. An award of $3000 was the new agreed upon amount. Since that time Kay has received no money to settle this debt. This has been KR'd a couple of times in the past with no resolution.

    I had also anticipated inquiring about an E-meter of mine that was reportedly confiscated by RTC while on loan to the org for training of a proposed senior C/S: Ken O'Ferin. The story that was told to me long ago was RTC took it because it was out of certification. I was also told that the situation would be "fixed". I never got my meter back (it was a birthday gift, by the way) and never received any other compensation or even an apology. This situation was KR'd a couple times long ago--with *surprise*--no resolution.

    The org has been out-exchange for many years--my role in this is has been to be "suppressively reasonable". I had been essentially letting a criminal situation ride because it appeared that the Org was not doing well. (I liked many people there and didn't want to "burden" them.) Obviously since that time the Org has opened a shiny building at apparent great expense. I was invited to the grand opening but did not feel comfortable attending due in part to these situations of out-exchange. At this time the Org and anyone responsible for "Keeping Scientology Working" are being upbraided for "no results".

    Well, to get back to the situation of last Friday night--Kay and I arrived about 7:15PM and I signed in on the front desk log. Amazingly for such a large facility I saw maybe a dozen names with the 26th as the sign in date.

    After about 10 minutes of waiting no chaplain arrived so we began walking about the main floor looking at the multimedia displays present. Maybe five minutes later an old friend Mark Arnold walked across the floor to see us. He was accompanied by Chris Finn, whose name I had heard long ago but we had never met. We had a friendly chat and it was nice to see Mark, since it had been probably 20 years since we last talked. Upon parting he said he'd go see about the chaplain and find out what the holdup was before leaving the building. There was no mention of any "problem"--I think Mark was unaware of the situation to be covered next.

    A few minutes later a woman identifying herself as the HAS showed up and asked about why we were here to see a Chaplain--I explained the situation and mentioned that this is an ongoing attempt to solve things mentioned above within the church framework of policy.

    When she got "ridgy" I also mentioned that our next step would probably be to pursue standard legal means since there's been no resolution and apparently no interest from the church in correcting an obviously out-exchange situation. She disappeared for a few minutes.

    Upon returning she announced that I would have to leave as I had been "declared SP".

    All along through my previous training in scientology I studied and understood "if it isn't written it isn't true"--so I asked to see the actual order and have my copy of this supposed "declare".

    HAS: "you'll have to leave now."
    Me: " if you don't show me my declare I really can't verify that what you say is true and technically at this point you're squirreling".
    HAS: "stop enturbulating me".
    Me: " your TRs should be better than that and you should have no case on post. Now go find me my written declare or I will assume that you are lying to me".
    HAS: "I'm the HAS--I deserve respect".
    Me: "not from what I've seen. You could use cramming on the Manners PL"
    She left "babbling"--I gave it a "Tone40 ack"

    Not long after that she reappeared with 3 other unidentified people: a younger taller guy who seemed robotic, a 30ish shorter guy who seemed to be adept at 2way Comm and an older lady whom I’d guess to be incapable of running “8c” without frowning.

    Still no written material to verify what the HAS was asserting--but an insistence that we leave. I asked why Kay would need to leave if I was supposedly the one declared. This was met with "because she is associated with you". I pointed out how squirrel and rude the entire situation to this point was and walked over near the entry way.

    The shorter guy there did take a few moments to talk with Kay (about 40ft from me) about her concern--meanwhile the thin bitter older woman was over near me insisting that I leave—alternating that with wandering over and attempting to interrupt the brief conversation that Kay was having. She even mentioned that she had called the police! I laughed at her and pointed out that there was no cause to do so and that the police would probably laugh at her too.

    After Kay finished her chat, we walked out the door--she in disbelief. I pointed out "so much for ARC with the most ethical group on the planet..."

    This is true.

    John Kimball

    PS: Sometime back Pooks posted some Seattle stuff, here is a puff piece with the "HAS":

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 08, 2012, 06:54:29 AM
                          Scientology And Me: Part One, Growing Up In The Church

The Hairpin:

I was about the age Suri Cruise is now when I had my first session. Mickey, my first-grade teacher at the non-traditional school I attended, had announced that day that he would soon be leaving for a new job somewhere in California. All I remember now of Mickey is his warmth, and his soft, crinkly eyes and thick black beard, but the day he made his announcement, I was devastated in the way only a six-year-old can be – someone I loved was leaving me! The world had turned cruel. I trudged home to my mother, sobbing, and though I’m not sure who brought up the idea first, I knew a session was just what I needed.

Because my brother was an infant at the time, my mother wasn’t going into the mission regularly, and when she did auditing it was from home. I remember the E-meter set up on a table in the light-filled kitchen, the screen facing her. I sat across, gripping metal cans narrower than soda cans but still too big for child-sized hands. I felt excited, a little nervous, my sadness about Mickey already dulled by my entry into the adult world of the church and the confidence that I could make these painful feelings of loss go away.

Read the whole story at The Hairpin

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 08, 2012, 07:30:42 AM

    i'd been in scientology 22 years, $650,000. wheeeeee.
    i posted a series of posts on my own blog talking about it and have gotten some nice feedback on it, so thought i'd share it here:

    Here's the TOC

    Part 1: Introduction
    Part 2: Scientology's Claims​
    Part 3: The Leaders​
    Part 4: Ex-Mucky-Mucks
    Part 5: Scientology's Worth
    Part 6: Church Culture​
    Part 7: Public Relations
    Part: 8: A Message to David Miscavige​
    Part 9: A Message to Dedicated Scientologists​
    Part 10: A Message to Myself​
    Part 11: Moving Forward!​

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 11, 2012, 07:56:50 AM
                                               My secret "SP" declare

                                 Robert Berrington

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 12, 2012, 07:02:16 AM
                                               My Wikipedia Page

    Dear Scientology, please keep your editors away from my Wikipedia Page. This morning, quite by accident, I found that everything regarding my book "Naked in the Spotlight" ( had been edited to suit Scientology's PR purposes. Forget it, Scientology, it ain't gonna happen. Not now. NOT EVER!

    Here below is the correct Wikipedia entry. This will now be checked by my organization on a regular basis. If you edit it again, it will be changed back every single time to this text:

    "From 1993 to 2003 Janicello was a Scientology member and soon became an outspoken critic of human rights violations against Scientology and other religious minorities in western Europe. His engagement for religious freedom as a Scientologist was met with very strong opposition and had enormous negative consequences for his career, finances and personal life. This was one of several reasons he left the Scientology organization in 2003. Janicello detailed his years in Scientology in his autobiography "Naked in the Spotlight" (

    The book was published by the Ibera Verlag in Vienna (ISBN 978-3-85052-100-0) and was released throughout German-speaking Europe in April 2011. Janicello's 2011 CD Single "Push It Now" was released simultaneously with the book and was also released separately from the book in BeNeLux. "Push it Now" features lyrics by Janicello that are quite critical of his experience with Scientology. It's music was composed by Grammy-Award Winning Producer Georg Luksch, who, together with producing partner Peter Rauhofer, are better known as the Remixing Team Club 69. Naked in the Spotlight has, among others, the objective to finally close this chapter in his life: "After the promotion of this publication, I will never publicly speak about Scientology ever again." .....

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 15, 2012, 06:06:18 AM
                              Howard Dickman, ex staff, San Diego Org, checking in

    My name is Howard Dickman. I found out about Scientology while I was stationed at the US Navy's Antisubmarine Warfare base in San Diego, August 1972. By December of 1972 I had finished my HQS course and signed a 5 year staff contract. In February of 1973, when Carl Barney's SCS Mission and the Church of Scientology of La Jolla merged to become the Church of Scientology San Diego, the Sea Org ship "Excalibur" tied up in the harbor. I signed my Sea Org contract then and later that summer, after being discharged from the Navy, I did my Product Zero on the Excalibur while it was docked in San Pedro. Shortly after doing the 5X stat push we were ordered to 7X our stats, which I flatly refused to do, resulting in my being posted to the RPF on the Excalibur mid February 1974. I graduated in February of 1975 and became the Senior C/S of the San Diego Org. In December of 1977, my 5 year staff contract having been fulfilled, I routed off of staff per policy, leaving me with no free loaders debt.

    I moved my family to Oklahoma, where I have since resided, and but for a few visits to various churches I have had very little to do with Scientology. I still have friends in the Church (almost 40 years of service!), that I respect and remain friends with. Thanks so much to Emma for this forum, I have learned so much by lurking on here!

Stories? OK, I've got a few.

This one has to do with the RPF, and a confession.

First off, some background data to give you an idea of the RPF as it existed on the Excalibur in 1974. The Excalibur was an ex US Navy ship, 184.5 feet long and 33' 1" wide. The ladies on the RPF slept in the forward women's berth with the lady DPF members. The male RPF slept in the lower aft berthing with male members of the DPF. We did not pull any watches and were tied up to the pier most of the time.

That summer Bob Moretti, age 37, Speaker of the California State Assembly, was running for Governor of California. The RPF was taken off of the ship, bused to a phone center where we made phone calls asking who the electorate were going to vote for. Every evening we would hand in our tally sheets before going back to the ship for dinner. This was a secret GO project as we were hoping to get Moretti elected. I think we did this for about 2 weeks.

My confession: This cut into our study/auditing time, which annoyed me. There were a few times I started another major action on a PC so that we would end up just missing the bus to the phone center. I was questioned about that, but as I was productive in the chair no punishment was meted out.

During my petition to graduate the RPF the Excalibur's MAA told me to take that GO project off of my amends sheet. Talk about separation of Church and State!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 21, 2012, 07:46:18 AM
                                        Seeking a $200,000+ repayment!!

    I have $200,000+ on account with various Scientology churches. For background, visit my blog series, This Is Scientology! (CLICK HERE)


Here's a copy of the letter I mailed today (certified mail, of course):scientology return of funds request.pdf!!

Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 30, 2012, 07:47:58 AM
                          Gerry and Caroline Armstrong - Your work is appreciated

    I don't have the date of Gerry's or Caroline's birthdays, or anniversary, which would be an occasion to offer best wishes and say thank you, so I thought I'd just make this post saying, "Thanks."

    Anyone who feels so inclined is welcome to join in.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 16, 2012, 07:04:39 PM

                    Fellow Kiwi posts on ESMB  

Wish I had known you were here years ago.

    Hi, Im not even sure how I came to find this site but wish I had years ago!!!

    I was AKF staff from 1979 to 1996 with little 'holiday' in the middle.
    Life on the outside has been pretty good for me and my kids.
    Compared with some of the stories Ive read so far, we had it easy.

    Not too sure why exactly I signed up...but, here I am!


Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 18, 2012, 07:03:18 AM
                                        Apologies and making amendas

    I want to make a post in the hopes that maybe the people i wronged will one day look at this page.

    My first apology is to a Japanese girl back in 1997 Kiko or similar spelling. On my first day after finishing EPF and had started work for the CLO, you quietly pulled me aside to inform me that the back of my shirt was un tucked and you did not want me to get in trouble.
    I apologize that a week later, i made an issue of you taking away my plate after lunch, which got you into trouble because i broke protocol of removing my own plate.
    Its a stupid rule i was a grown man and had grown up doing my own chores.
    I sincerely apologize for that day,when you must have had enough and you attempted to do a runner. I saw two staff members grab you by the hair and drag you back inside, while i just stood there too gutless to say anything.

    I also want to apologize to a guy named Andrew,who i did the EPF with. You were from NZ and ypur parents,had sighed you up for SO. You hated being there and were quite emotional about it. You confided in me and trusted me with your secret that you getting ready to blow,

    I was being threatened with RPF for stat flat-line and traded info to spare me RPF by informing on you. when you were yelled at and berated i jut stood there without coming to your aide like a friend should have.

    These two incidents,have haunted me ever since i too blew due to my father intervening.

Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 03, 2013, 06:42:12 AM
                                      Ronn Stacy aka Alaska Ronn

Posted on January 2, 2013 by martyrathbun09 | 11 Comments


My Story ~ My life within and without the church of scientology

by  Ronn Stacy, ‘Alaska Ronn’

It’s hard to know where to begin, and yea, long story.

I’ll start with a brief history pre- Scientology.  Drugs, Inc.  Youth gone awry, as too many  of us went 60’s & 70’s.  I did enjoy some of it, although who can remember why?  Spiritual enlightenment… Nirvana?  For me it became a spiritual quest in fact, Timothy Leary, Tibetan Book of the Dead, et al.  Several weeks of 1973, age 19, in and out of the likes of psychiatric reality, at the hands of family who were trying to save me from the drug culture.  Bless their hearts.  It took months, but I eventually realized the game, that the only way out was admitting they were right and I was wrong.

The whole affair was short lived but unfortunately necessary to tell the rest of my story....

Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 11, 2013, 07:08:28 AM
                            Once upon a time there was a man...who joined a cult.