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Ididntcomeback
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« Reply #15 on: September 04, 2012, 08:35:45 AM »

                                      SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 13 c

                                       Making up time

By contemplating a benefit we create TIME. We postulate that a benefit is to be experienced if certain
circumstances and experiences are overcome. For example, we as a species perceive that on the day that there is peace on earth and good will to all mankind, that some sort of Utopia will be realized.

So this logic creates the TIME for all the fights to be resolved and justifies why we are not living in that Utopia NOW.

On a more personal level, we have the logic that when some made up conditions are met, we will experience wholeness and lay on a beach sipping smoothies in complete rapture.

Knowing the above NOW one can see something that has escaped the attention of all philosophies and religions and Oprah. ... 

By postulating a benefit, we create a future and more importantly an identity to be there to perceive the alleged benefit.

That`s how we create the illusion of time. That is how we create our miserable selves.
Because until the benefit is realized we create a broken identity that needs something.

Just look at the evidence you are living that we accept as life as we know it.

Miserable identities banging their heads against what they don`t want all day long in the hopes that it will miraculously produce the imaged benefit that they do want.

Interestingly the moment one stops creating the sense of unfulfillment through a TIME manufactured perceived future benefit, one perceives fulfillment NOW and the perceived benefit is surpassed here and NOW.

The whole of human history is explained above. All the drama. All the suffering, all the disease, all the insanity, all the wars, all the addictions, all the religions..... all the TIME.

This is why enlightenment has eluded so many for so long.

This is why telling you about this is mind blowing.

I`m having to show you the binoculars you are looking through.
« Last Edit: September 15, 2012, 07:31:21 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #16 on: September 08, 2012, 08:18:11 AM »

                                                   SENSE OF WONDER

                                                            Part 13 d

                                                    Life as deprivation.

By perceiving a potential benefit, we at the same instant have created a sense of deprivation.
This has been the basis of life as we have created it. 
Perceive something exterior to ourselves which we desire to experience. Then unwittingly, but inevitably, we create deprivation.

This applies to every human endeavor from swatting a fly to living eternally in Heaven with God.

We perceive a benefit outside of ourselves and then experience being deprived of it.
Our unwillingness to experience that deprivation defines us.

So we create TIME to experience the deprivation we ourselves have created.
It is our sense of deprivation that creates the TIME to experience it.

LIFE is our story of deprivation.

Many a TIME beings have cried out in utter frustration "God... Why are you punishing me ?"

It is from this perspective that we try to find meaning and reason.
At these TIMES we would do anything to extricate ourselves from this LIFE that holds us in bondage.

Anything that is, except be willing to experience our deprivation.

  THE MOMENT WE ARE FULLY WILLING TO EXPERIENCE DEPRIVATION, WE CEASE TO BE DEPRIVED.
   THUS WE CEASE TO CREATE TIME TO EXPERIENCE DEPRIVATION.

   WE VIEW THE GOD WHO HAS PUNISHED US FROM INSIDE.

A butterfly dies in Ethiopia, in the full knowledge that there is no deprivation other than denial.





                               
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« Reply #17 on: September 10, 2012, 10:53:46 AM »

                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                                Part 13d 2

                                         But seriously folks

The instant one perceives a benefit, one has created separation.  "That is something I desire.
Therefore it is something I am not." Two identities are created. The haves and the have nots.
The haves become a projected fantasy. "If only I had that, I could experience it. Till then all I can do is dream..... Thus a mind is created. The mind yearns to serve by weighing up evidence and circumstances that can bring form to the desired manifestation.
 
The mind becomes fixated and obsessed by the barriers and obstacles between have and have not.

The gap between "have" and "have not" is the manifestation of TIME.

This explains why no time is wasted in acquiring the things we already have.

To see this we must lose something we already have. Now we will create the time to re acquire it.

Right now we can hold something we already have and try to create time.
We inspect the object and know that it is outside of time...Timeless.


Interestingly, if we simply register what we already have we escape the effect of time and find ourselves with a lack of wanting.

If we hold on to that lack of wanting, we find what we `have` extends far beyond what we thought we were deprived of.

See if you can get this...

    By being willing to experience what we have, we discover that it is only our unwillingness to experience not having what we don`t have that creates the illusion of deprivation.

For the deprivation is something that we have.

I know that reading this feels like being hit around like a golf ball. However it must be acknowledged that at least we feel as if we are on the green.

To sink the ball in the eighteenth hole one must, of their own volition, make the final putt.

It is only your precise question that will manifest your precise answer.

The question that will transcend all questions cannot be asked from inside a mind that is created out of a lack of benefit.

By sitting quietly in a distraction free environment for twenty minutes a day, while connecting ones breathing (In out in out...No pause.) one will gradually dissolve the illusion of wanting.
One will at the same time dissolve the mind. One will dissolve the identity that the mind uses to deprive its owner.

The mind is powered by your desire to manifest what you desire.

The mind itself solidifies and becomes serious in direct proportion to its experience at failing to bring you what you desire.

The age old modus operandi of the mind is to become so hard to live with that it is abandoned and
leaves its host believing in "Higher forces."

That desire, to believe in higher forces, creates a new mind which has victimization as its theme.

And from the perspective of victimization one perceives a benefit from being associated with causation.

But now one is separate from causation and thus TIME is created. And the mind fixates on bringing the causation of separation into manifestation and thus the experience of victimization is perceived.

When one clicks over and perceives the obstacles as the benefit, and is willing to experience them,
ones experience is filled with a sense of joy and wonder that surpasses any benefit ever conceived.


« Last Edit: September 12, 2012, 12:06:10 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #18 on: September 12, 2012, 01:01:01 AM »

                                             SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 13d 2a

                                                      Loss

As one discards unenlightenment, an absence of weight is perceived. This absence of weight is accompanied by an absence of tiredness. From this absence of weight and tiredness one perceives an absence of a past. One is reminded of their childhood where one experienced weightlessness and boundless energy. When those surrounding the child speak of the PAST, the child struggles to comprehend why the past should carry any weight.

But soon the child is in school being taught that we must learn from the past.
If that was the truth, then the child would be taught that learning from the past has actually produced  the world that does not learn from the past.

As one approaches enlightenment one perceives that their education is what they are transcending.

Do you feel heavy and tired?  If so...
You have been thoroughly educated.

Make sure they bury you with your Diploma.

For they surely will.
« Last Edit: September 12, 2012, 07:07:16 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #19 on: September 12, 2012, 07:48:10 AM »

                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                            PART 13d 2 a 1

What we are looking at here goes against ones education.

Our education has informed us that one needs a good education to be successful and reap benefits.

So why is it that every single step towards a more enlightened society was first taken by individuals who
were deprived of a full education. Why are the A students working for the D students?

The A students have accepted the forced feeding of facts. The A students have become the effect of information. When faced with problems the A students see nothing crazy about throwing old solutions that haven`t worked at the same problems over and over.

This is why we have the criminal justice industry as the biggest threat to society`s peace and cooperation.
This is why the media is unable to accurately inform it`s public.
This is why health professionals are worse for their patients than the ailment the health industry has itself created.
This is why mental health professionals are fucken nuts.
This is why politicians who are elected to represent the people are able to have people killed.
This is why the education industry churns out a complete apathy about learning.
This why finance experts generate poverty.
This is why Scientists use the words, could, might, possibly, hopefully, grants, should, predict, think,
and maybe.

They are all victims of an education. They are all living forever in the past.

Only those who haven`t been educated into believing in the past can actually see the problems and solutions that exist now.

Only the uneducated can see the truth that is before them now.


« Last Edit: September 16, 2012, 11:28:08 PM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #20 on: September 14, 2012, 09:24:38 AM »

                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                              Part 13d 2 a 2

                                How come we don`t know we are Gods?

Viewing physical as God, one has no preference as to an outcome. One knows all, and knows that
everything works out fine. One cannot experience the joy of discovery and the adventure of an uncertain outcome. One is looking from outside in.

However the pure desire to experience, requires one to have a perspective, a viewpoint.
With that, one can experience the joy of re discovery or re cognition, if you like.
One has a point to view from.

So a pretense occurs. One goes from looking from `outside in`, to looking from `inside out.`
The `inside out` perspective must deny the `outside in` awareness to the `inside out` experience.

The specific viewpoint creates times to perceive a benefit. The inside out being has manufactured circumstances and experiences.

These circumstances and experiences solidify to the extent the inside out being perceives them as real and takes them seriously. It all adds weight to the argument that the inside out perspective is a victim of circumstances.

By reconnecting with ones global knowingness, despite our experiences and circumstances, one
inevitably transcends all adverse circumstances and experiences without the need for personal involvement. In fact it is personal involvement that guarantees perpetuation of undesirable circumstances and experiences.

You will never see any evidence of God outside of yourself.
Looking for God from inside out is what creates the  physical game board that we all experience.

When one cannot experience God, one simply IS.







« Last Edit: September 15, 2012, 07:40:47 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #21 on: September 15, 2012, 08:23:41 AM »

                                              SENSE OF WONDER

                                                   Part 13d 2 a 3

                                               Recharging the battery.

By living in the time illusion, one is discharging the positive charge that they entered physical with.
We have all seen how people get old and bitter. We accept it as part of life.
And nothing could be more right.

When we enter physical we are supercharged with endless enthusiasm and energy.
After our third failed marriage, or our twenty second rejection letter, our battery is running low on power.

The only place we can recharge our battery is in the eternal moment of NOW.
We can connect up with someone who is connected to the perpetual potential of NOW and recharge our battery. We say , we were inspired by someone. Don`t ever think you were inspired by something.
The something is only a conduit for the energy.

So living in the relative universe is a permanent burden. It`s such a burden that we need to go comatose to it once a day for about eight hours.

If one wanted to recharge their battery and remain forever young, one can do so by connecting up with
pure potential.

Every moment in time means to be carrying "our story" around. Even after sleep we habitually resurrect our story by waking up to who we are.

If one wanted to recharge their battery, one could sit in a distraction free environment for approximately twenty minutes per day and simply connect their breathing.

The tired, heavy you will latch on to this energy to feed itself.
So to avoid allowing that identity to waste more time, simply note it and clear your mind again.
Your present moment awareness is best connected to by refusing to think of anything specific.

A specific thought or concern is a magnet that will only drain, never replenish.

By connecting up with the eternal moment of now one is to restoring potential.
It is giving you the power to let the sick, tired, addicted, tortured, worried, depressed, negatively charged you,  transform into the healthy, energetic, free, pleasurable, stress free  happy positively charged you.
« Last Edit: September 16, 2012, 11:31:24 PM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #22 on: September 17, 2012, 01:23:18 AM »

                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 13d 2 a 4

                                             A perfect world.

The universe is being created in every instant to please God.
Our education has put space and distance in the middle of this instantaneousness act of perpetual creation.
We are taught that the universe was created billions of years ago. Highly educated Scientists assure us that this is so. They have the evidence. It can be assumed that given billions of more years and more evidence gathering that one day in the year 29 billion, we will finally have this puzzle solved.

There will be much singing and dancing and gnashing of teeth. The gnashing of teeth will be the religiots
who couldn`t understand the science so just blamed existence on a fickle God.

Won`t they be pissed off when the Scientists explain how nothing created something.
I think this will be a seven blackboard algebraical equation.

Will this mean that we`ll finally have something worth watching on TV?

I want to tell you a story...

          "We had just sat down for a few quiet beers when we realized the world was perfect in every way. The end."

See how much time you can spend on that story.

Now imagine that that is the only story. There are no other stories. Just;

"We had just sat down for a few quiet beers when we realized the world was perfect in every way. The end."

 The life of Jesus has been called "The greatest story ever told."
And yet the one I just told you is infinitely better. It`s perfect.

After all isn`t it what we are all striving for. Isn`t it what Jesus himself was striving for?

So how come the true "greatest story ever told" no one wants to claim authorship of?
What motivates Scientists, housewives, businessmen, criminals, teachers, religious leaders, shop keepers,
traffic cops, politicians, authors, dictators, village idiots ?????

Everyone , from their perspective, is trying to create the perfect world.

But if the world was perfect what would all the people on TV have to bitch about?
What would the cops have to do? Would problem solvers become redundant?

What would we all do with our time?

How could we sin? If we were perfect.... Why.... we`d be Gods.

And we all know God is everywhere...All the time.

Would God like my story of a perfect world?
     
Well.... Do you?


 
« Last Edit: September 20, 2012, 07:35:42 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #23 on: September 18, 2012, 03:35:47 PM »

                                              SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 13d 2 a 5

                                        The big bang is happening now

Everything that has, is, or will exist, can only exist now. Evidence to the contrary can only exist now.

Time travel is an illusion, as time and travel are the same thing.

We are all perfect NOW. Everything is perfection.

Imperfection is an illusion to give perfection a holiday destination.

There just wasn`t any time to be basking in our glorious perfection .

Our perfection can only be experienced in relation to that which is other than perfect.

So perfection gives birth to that which is less than itself.

Perfection cannot admire itself when it is all there is.

So a less than perfect creation distances itself from perfection which is so perfect it cannot create itself.

Perfection can only create something less than itself.

As there is nothing other than perfection, perfection can only create within itself something which is
less than itself.

Still... Perfection sees nothing within itself anything but perfection.
But perfection, by looking out from within itself is able to see itself as less than perfect.

In fact it is a requirement of `less than perfect` to live in a less than perfect world.

Whenever `less than perfect` recognizes `perfect`, it giggles and swoons.

`Less than perfect` strives to become `perfect` again.

`Less than perfect` naturally has less than perfect ideas on how to achieve this.

Sometimes `less than perfect` sees perfection as less than perfect.
When `less than perfect` sees `less than perfect` as `perfect,` `less than perfect` is perfect again.

« Last Edit: September 18, 2012, 03:47:59 PM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #24 on: September 19, 2012, 05:19:29 PM »

                                              SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 13 d 3

                                        Our feelings about feelings.

Without feelings we don`t know how we feel about anything.
Rocks have no feelings. The cold has no feelings.
None of us want to be like a cold rock.
Without feelings we are nothing.

Feelings are our last defense against being nothing.


That`s all they are. Yet they are more sacred to us than any other phenomenon.

They are more sacred than God and Jesus and Jehovah and a cathedral.
In fact it is our feelings that make things sacred.

If we quiz beings about why they feel the way they do about things, we need to be careful.
No one wants to hurt someones feelings.

If we hurt someones feelings they could bomb our homes or sentence us to burn in hell. Or even
try to turn us into a cold rock that has no feelings.


Our feelings are the sum total of our experiences and circumstances.
And yet our feelings are the instigators of our experiences and circumstances.

No wonder we feel like we must obey our feelings and yet at the same time feel as though we can`t trust them.

Our feelings are right there the moment our attention is focused on anything.
It`s there before the mind has a chance to draw on circumstances and experiences.
Feelings over ride all thoughts and manifestations.

All thoughts and manifestations are the direct result of feelings.
The whole life experience, or human history, which is happening NOW, is being generated by feelings.

All experience is feeling. All feeling is experience.
How else would one know how they felt about anything?

Till one becomes cause over feeling, one is effect of feeling.

When one does the present moment connected breathing one is confronted by the feeling that they don`t want to do it.  It feels like there must be a better way to spend ones TIME.

And of course one would be right. Look at all the interesting things people have felt like doing in the past.
And just imagine all the interesting things people will feel like doing in the future.

Feels like an eternity.
We have all sentenced ourselves to feel forever.

By losing our addiction to feeling, we can just know.
This won`t feel strange. It can`t !!!
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« Reply #25 on: September 20, 2012, 08:22:50 AM »

                                     SENSE OF WONDER

                                           Part 13 e

                             Transcending the "reality" delusion.

There exists astronomical quantities of circumstances and evidence of what composes reality.

What we all need to do, we are constantly reminded, is face Reality.

So why is this phrase used to disown someone with a conflicting reality?
Are we not in that moment taking ownership of an alternate reality.

Reality as a subject has not been as clear cut as people`s reality insists it is.

It turns out that Reality is a possession. Something we hang on to with Herculean resolve.

If we feel our reality being taken from us we lose our minds and freak out.

We feel ill at ease if some other reality threatens the one we own.

Historically it has been the reality that it is important to eliminate any conflicting reality by any means.

We gain the benefit of great satisfaction when our reality wins against a visiting reality.

We feel our reality is the best and we support our home team when a rival reality comes to town to take on our boys.

We agree with all the spectators that our team is the best.

We own our team and wear their colors. We cheer our boys on and yell abuse at the visitors.
We own our reality and disown the other reality.

When our reality loses, we take it personally and demand that the coach be fired.
We hope our injured will be on form for a re match.

We know if we win every match, even the final, (Before the whole process starts again) that the world will know that our reality is the best. We walk around like a `smarty pants`.

We used to build statues of the heroes who defended our reality against all opposing realities.
That is till we realized defecating pigeons didn`t share our reality.

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« Reply #26 on: September 25, 2012, 08:58:39 AM »

                                               SENSE OF WONDER

                                                     Part 13 f

                                              The wonder of sense

You still here ???

Amazing.  You have been reading all this junk that just doesn`t make sense.
And yet you still knew that there was something here.
Something that doesn`t exist anywhere else in the universe.

Everywhere else things have to make sense. I mean who`s going to waste their precious time on nonsense?

Making sense of everything has been a long unrewarding quest.
People have been trying to make sense of everything for an eternity and they will continue to try and make sense for another eternity.

One perceives that there will be great benefit on the day when it all makes sense.

So let us imagine that day.
It will be billions of years from now. Some scientist will create a theory that explains everything.
It will be ruthlessly tested in the laboratory by teams of scientists.

"Eureka !!!!"  There will be celebrating and caek.

Others observing the festivities will be curious to know what all the celebrating is about.

Not being able to fully understand the science behind this great discovery the masses will have to take it all on faith. But when they tire of dancing and going "yip, yip yip yip yip yip yip".

They will have to go back to their lives. Some will stop believing in the new theory because their lives are still shit.

The believers will try to convince the ignorant nonbelievers that they are wrong.

Maybe a war will start between the believers and the non believers.
It could last for another eternity.
There will be many casualties and much suffering.

But at least it will all make perfect sense.

You see all the wars and all the suffering have always made perfect sense.

I mean people haven`t been fighting and suffering over nonsense. Look at Vietnam !!!

Even today you can ask someone who is fighting and suffering as to why they are fighting and suffering.
They will gladly tell you. When they have finished it will all make sense.

But if it doesn`t ... you may end up in a war with them.
A nonsense war over making sense.

  Making sense can only occur against the backdrop of TIME.
When you roll time out like a roll of wallpaper everything makes sense.
Everything is plotted sequentially and the present is just a fly speck at the midway point.

Now despite the fact that you are sitting on this fly speck, nothing makes sense.

Yet we have had half of an eternity for it all to make sense.
The assumption is that in the other half of eternity things will finally make sense.
Of course we will all be long gone by then.

So we pass on to our children the hope that things will all make sense, one day.

People in the future will have houses on Mars and phones that actually work and it will all make perfect sense.

Meanwhile we just plod along in the hope that this day of perfect sense won`t be too long coming.

After all ...It`s what keeps us going...

            TRYING TO MAKE SENSE IS THE DEFINITION OF LIFE !

Is any of this making sense?
If it does ...you still haven`t got it.
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« Reply #27 on: September 28, 2012, 07:49:28 AM »

                                           SENSE OF WONDER

                                              Part 14

                                The Topsy turvy world of Arther Brown.

From an unenlightened perspective one experiences unenlightenment.

One concludes that if enlightenment exists at all, it exists outside of ones present viewpoint.

So someone seeking enlightenment desires to absorb an enlightened viewpoint.

This can mean traveling or educating oneself. Some are even willing to pay for someone else to
enlighten them.

The mind, acting on the emotional desire to end suffering, looks for evidence of enlightenment and
computes ways of acquiring it.

It says things like; "If I read this book I will get an enlightened viewpoint."
                          "If I perform this ritual often enough, I will gain an enlightened viewpoint."
                          " If I stay close to a guru who owns seven Rolls Royce's, I will acquire an enlightened perspective."
                       "If I discipline my mind and body, my spirit will be disciplined enough to assume the enlightened perspective."

"If I underline certain passages in sacred books, I will  have earned enlightenment because of my devotion."

    Well good luck with all of that.  And by the way...Mind.... How come none of the above have worked in thousands of years?

And why is that when I, the unenlightened viewpoint, get to where enlightenment is supposed to be, does I, the unenlightened, blow it by doing something embarrassingly unenlightened?

Why do those supposedly enlightened ones insist on trying to fuck one of The Beatles girlfriends, Imprison a four year old boy in the chain locker of a ship, Assault their staff, Throw a pointless temper tantrum in the high temple in front of murderous Roman conquerers, declare war on non believers, Take drugs and alcohol and hire male prostitutes ?

 Human history has been a running record of the fallout of fake enlightenment.

Finally the mystery is solved right here before your very eyes.

          The moment one adopts a viewpoint one has unenlightened themselves.

The more one takes their viewpoint seriously, the more serious the consequences.

For an enlightened one doesn`t take viewpoints seriously.
An enlightened one has a great sense of joy and wonder at viewpoints.

An enlightened one actually finds viewpoints a source of great mirth.

                                    Laughter is enlightenment

                                      Seriousness is unenlightenment

                                                                    Just ask the Pope.



 
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« Reply #28 on: October 02, 2012, 10:08:52 AM »

                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                             Part 15

                                 Painting by numbers..

For something to be `less than perfect`, it must, by default,  become something specific.
After all, there must be something specific about it that defines its `less than perfection`ness.

`Less than perfect` can only perpetuate through its own unwillingness to experience its perfection.

So `less than perfect` has a viewpoint that is unique to`less than perfect.`
By recognizing its own `less than perfect` viewpoint, a point of view is assummed.
That point of view becomes the defining creation of identification.

One becomes an identity, albeit less than perfect.

It is only from a `less than perfect` viewpoint that one can perceive a benefit.
That benefit is in the direction of perfection.

Thus we are all preoccupied with our `less than perfect` perception of perfection.
It is the subtext of all of human history.

It is the hidden agenda behind every breath we take and every race we exterminate.

It is our own identification with our `less than perfect` selves that is behind the great pretense that
manifests as LIFE.

All sadness, all, suffering, all pain, all regret, all imprisonment, all fear, all need, all frustration is
manifested by identification with our `less than perfect` selves.

All Happiness, all pleasure, all ecstasy, all pride, all freedom, all courage, all waste, all confidence is
manifested by identification with our `less than perfect` selves.

We paint our existence before us with a `less than perfect` agenda.

Unfortunately we are not all as privileged as the Queen, who thinks the whole world smells of fresh paint.

We are so used to the smell of paint, from attempting to paint a perfect world, that we don`t notice it anymore.
« Last Edit: October 05, 2012, 07:24:30 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #29 on: October 05, 2012, 08:16:07 AM »

                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 16

                                         Lifeaholics Anonymous.

It seems no one likes to be accused of being an addict.
They`ll use all sorts of made up excuses to explain how their addiction isn`t really an addiction.
"It is a choice."

"I could stop if I wanted to. Actually back in the 80`s I gave up for six months."

These days I only do it when I wake up in the morning. after meals, and during breaks at addict meetings.

Those who are not affected by an addiction see how insane the addict is behaving.
The addict uses all sorts of tricks to hold his addiction at arms length so he or she won`t look insane to the unaddicted.

The addiction becomes their little secret.

It`s something they can`t explain to others so it becomes a private matter.

They feel incomplete without imbibing in their addiction.

The focus of their addiction becomes scarce and ultimately sacred.

I`ve been addicted to cigarettes my whole life. When I was eighteen, I worked at a freight yard.
Once in a while I had the job of unloading railway wagons full of cartons of cigarettes.
I found it fascinating that when "smoko" came I couldn`t bring myself to smoke.
For several hours after the job I just had no where for the smoke to go.
I had no sense of being deprived. I was over run on smokes.

It took quite a bit of effort to make cigarettes scarce enough so that I felt deprived enough of them to want one again.


I had to re manufacture my addiction.

It is no surprise that addictions have been justified as chemical imbalances.

The body craves that chemical rush.

But that does not explain why the stress of the junky dissolves when they score !!!
The guy who is hanging out for a fix feels complete as he begins the habit ritual.
Long before any chemicals have a chance to interact with his deprived chemicals.

Don`t worry... This is going somewhere.

I want to deprive you of it just for a bit. That way you`ll get a big hit when I post the next part.




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