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Author Topic: THE REAL STORIES.  (Read 110877 times)
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« on: July 16, 2009, 05:39:15 PM »

    This thread is for accounts of people who were there.
These accounts should help to answer many questions and fill
in gaps about what went on behind the scenes inside Scientology
management over the years.

I`ll post these every so often.
I`m hopeful that any current or lapsed Scientologists who have made
their way here will  take the bold step towards freedom and let common sense

You will be aware of some of the fall out from the incidents mentioned
in these articles which stretch out over 59 years.
Truth is stranger than fiction.
Welcome to the Twilight zone....
First account follows
Leaving the CoS from a position in upper management can be quite a
"culture shock". For the people I've known who've done it,
re-integration into the world can take years. Leaving the CoS was
different for me. Backing off the lines slowly, there was no shock in
the transition.

After having spent 4 years in Sea Org upper management, in 1975 I
left the Flagship. My wife and I went back to my hometown of Denver.
While there we decided to stay and have a family. We got approval
from Mary Sue Hubbard to be posted in Denver, where I started and ran
the CoS of Colorado. After growing that org into one of the largest
in the world, I had one of my many "run ins" with the Guardians
Office, removed from my post as CO (Commanding Officer) of the org and
comm eved in LA. Even though I was exonerated, in 1978, I ended up in
Clearwater posted as Sea Org Chief, managing all the Sea Org units
around the world.

While in Flag management, I voiced serious disagreement with
Flag's management of orgs, as well as the treatment of Sea Org family
units. Having worked closely with Hubbard on the ship, I thought if I
could reach him, these "outnesses" could be resolved. Unfortunately,
he was unavailable. I was "busted" for not being a "team player", as
I continually refused to be involved with the crazy and unethical
orders and programs. I figured that I would just "tough things out".
Then my wife became pregnant with our second child. Since my
two-year-old daughter was already miserable there, my wife and I
decided not to bring up another child in that insanity. So as not to
be declared, we went through the painful process of "routing out" of
the Sea Org and returned to Denver as "freeloaders". I ended up in
1979 working for my father, managing his business.

That same year, 1979, a mission was sent from what was now upper
management (known as SU/Special Unit or WDC/Watchdog Committee) to
find me. I was informed that my evaluations of Flag management had
turned out to be correct, and was asked if I would return to
Clearwater. Turning down that offer, I was then told that my removal
from the CO Denver post was a mistake and that the org's stats had
crashed since my leaving. The mission wanted to know if I would go
back on post as CO Denver. Having a life and job in Denver now, I
proposed going back in the org in the evenings to get the stats back
up into the ranges that they were in when I left. After agreeing to
that, I gave the mission my conditions.

The first condition was that I must be left alone by all management
to do whatever I saw fit, giving me complete autonomous power with
regards to the org. Secondly, there would be additional conditions
once I fulfilled my part of the bargain and got the stats back up.
(1) My freeloader debt would be cancelled, leaving me a public person,
and (2) that auditing was to be set up for me at AOLA through OT 7.
My proposal was forwarded by the mission to upper management and
approved by Hubbard. Over the next many months, I fulfilled my end of
the bargain, and all my conditions were then honored. So, by 1980, I
found myself out of the Sea Org with no freeloader debt and just a
public person again.

Later that year, in May of 1980, I received a phone call at my job
from Dianna Hubbard. As if the call itself wasn't enough of a shock,
she then told me the purpose of her call. ..

For the rest...
« Last Edit: February 06, 2011, 10:19:04 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #1 on: August 22, 2009, 11:22:36 PM »


I moved my family to Clearwater several years ago to be in a community of Scientologists and to continue up the Bridge. When we first arrived here, there was an excitement in the air. There was the ground breaking of for Super Power. It was stated that donations were pouring in, auditors were being trained and in just a short time, the area would be filled with people from all over the world to do Super Power.

My kids enjoyed doing courses at Mace-Kingsley with other kids. (This was before C of S shut down the courseroom.)

I knew many people that were investing in real estate as the prices soared and some were cashing in with flipping houses. Seems a majority of the realtors in Clearwater were Scientologists.

There was excitement as the first new OTVIII attested. There was a big push to get 10 Missions opened around Flag. Tampa Org opened with smoke and mirrors. The first "Ideal Org." This was the first time I became aware that a building was to be funded by donations and not by paid services delivered.

Our business prospered, Our real estate seemed an awesome investment.

The kids did not attend "Scientology" schools, but used their LRH study tech, PTS tech, etc. and excelled. They did not want to attend events at the church as they would be constantly harrassed to join the SO and have attempts to degrade them for not going to a "Scientology" school. We are proud that today they are all in top colleges with scholarships and are pursuing their dreams.

Meantime, my wife and I were not having an easy time continuing up the Bridge. The courserooms and HGC's were not the "friendliest places on the planet."
We spent over $200,000 for redoing training, sec checks, preps, etc before actually taking another step on the Bridge. And of course we were to become Patrons of the IAS $40,000 in order to get on/stay on OT VII.

The new Mission holders were told that they could not have Missions within 20 miles of Flag, the Field Auditors were told they could not audit within 20 miles of Flag. The solution to that little problem was that there were no new Missions to open, Field Auditors quit auditing and/or moved away. The two existing Missions, (one owned by the Feshback's and the other by the Manier's) were told they could not service any public that had ever been on an Org's line and they had to empty out their courserooms. Most of the students were there because of the flexible schedule and could not be on the strict Flag student schedules.

And then "Basics" was announced. Messiah David Miscavige told us we were all stupid because the books were wrong (caused by those evil transcriptionists). Now, even though we had just completed a good deal of retraining, we had to all go back to the course room and start over with reading the books and listen to the lectures from the beginning. Odd, that this was now just an endless runway of significance and NO application.

This is when we finally admitted to ourselves, we had had enough. We stayed in Clearwater awhile longer. We noticed that people didn't socialize much now. I would occasionally see a Scientologist at the cigar shop or grocery store. There was not the friendliness of times past. We didn't discuss the Bridge, course, etc. We didn't talk about going to the Freewinds anymore. One new OT VIII said the only safe thing to talk about was real estate and health diets otherwise there could be KR's written if there was the slightest downside mentioned regarding the current situation of Scientology in Clearwater.

We sold our home to a newly arrived Scientology family from Europe. We even left them a complete set of the "new" books and lectures as a house warming gift. Yes, I feel a bit guilty about not warning them that their dreams may not come true in Clearwater.

We are in a new community. We both feel and look several years younger. We are enjoying talking to people and studying about "other" practices such as the Eastern religions, Tolle, The Law of Attraction, and whatever we decide interests us at the moment. We are reading novels, going to meet up groups, and finding wonderful people that practice living what they love.

We do not regret being "Scientologists" for most of our adult lives. We appreciate the legacy of L Ron Hubbard. We were challenged to have a successful business so we could pay for the services we recieved over the years and now we have our reliable source of income. We introduced others to Scientology and we applied the technology in our lives.

We reached the "End Phenomena" of this organized religion. Anything more would be an "Overrun." I have little BPC* on it. Perhaps I will write a novel about my full experiences which covers over 30 years.

BTW, a "new" OTVIII gave me a copy of a most useful book before I decided to leave Clearwater. I highly recommend it. J.J. Luna's "How to be invisible: The essential guide to protecting your personal privacy, your assets, and your life." You can find it on Amazon or Barnes and Noble will order it for you. And yes, he used it and we have used it. We are in touch by choice, but otherwise "Invisible."

My hope is that each of you find a way to live what you love and enjoy each day, each moment of your lives. Turn up the volumn on the good, and turn down the volumn on the bad.


Editor's addition:
*BPC = By-Passed Charge, a scientology term meaning roughly "some current upset from shit in the past"
We are the architects of our own lives. Design and build the life you want.
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« Reply #2 on: August 24, 2009, 08:36:19 PM »

        The Church of Scientology: spiritual community or destructive cult?

I have no control of the ads displayed on this web page, but at least I can write informative articles about the alternative religions and techniques promoted in the ads. I've written four articles on TM, which is featured in an ad for MUM. Now it's time for Scientology. The TM articles generated 241 comments. It will be interesting to see how many this article will accumulate. I have also written related articles on the ideal spiritual community and on cults.

Lisa Marie Presley, Tom Cruise, Chic Corea, and John Travolta are Scientologists. Some critics think Travolta's strict adherence to his Scientology beliefs resulted in his autistic son Jett's death.  Scientologists believe modern psychiatric medicine derives from an ancient alien civilization's plot to drug and enslave humanity. Tom Cruise vehemently and publicly oppose the pharmacological treatment of mental illness. Unfortunately, Scientology's own brand of therapy, called "auditing", is worthless, not much better than the prayers of faith healers. Recently, there has been speculation that Travolta is deeply distressed over his Church's inability to help Jett and it's insistence that he and his wife undergo testing to see if their negative attitudes may have contributed to Jett's death. Rumors have it that he's considering leaving the church. If that happens, he will be one of the highest level members ever to defect.

Other people who are thought to have been victim's of Scientology's quackery were Lisa McPherson and Elli Perkins. Lisa McPherson died of a pulmonary embolism while under the care of the Flag Service Organization (FSO), a branch of the Church of Scientology. Following her death, the Church of Scientology was indicted on two felony charges, "abuse and/or neglect of a disabled adult" and "practicing medicine without a license."

The charges against the Church of Scientology were dropped after the state's medical examiner changed the cause of death from "undetermined" to an "accident" on June 13, 2000. A civil suit brought by her family against the Church was settled on May 28, 2004.

On March 13, 2003, Jeremy Perkins, a 28 year old untreated schizophrenic, stabbed his mother Elli 77 times. She bled to death on her bedroom floor. Jeremy is currently being held at Rochester Psychiatric Center, having been found not responsible for Elli's murder by reason of mental disease or defect. Perkins, his mother and father, his sister, and her husband are all members of the Church of Scientology.

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« Reply #3 on: August 25, 2009, 08:15:43 AM »

                         Greg and Debra Barnes

Altering the Tech is a high crime in Scientology, punishable by expulsion (or as it’s known in Scientology, being declared a Suppressive Person.) So why are current members of Scientology allowing David Miscavige to make huge alterations to Hubbard’s writings once again? They should stand up and demand his removal.

Of course, people in the past who pointed out these alterations were themselves declared SP for daring to speak out. Here’s Greg and Debra Barnes to talk about what they went through in the 90’s.

Anatomy of a Declare

Greg and Debra Barnes discovered that someone was re-writing Hubbard bulletins and they they were excommunicated for making that discovery.

While they were doing Scientology’s confidential upper OT level VII the Barnes were shown a technical bulletin (C/S series 73RB) that Scientology’s new management claimed was written by Hubbard. The bulletin stated that the security checks (also called “refreshers”) they and all persons auditing on OTVII were being forced to undergo each six months contradicted what Hubbard himself had directed about such processes. They also realized that C/S series 73RA was 12 pages long whereas the bulletin they were reading was only 5 pages long.

So, why is that important and what are all the numbers? C/S Series 73RA means that this was Hubbard’s 73rd bulletin on Case Supervision of auditing processes; the “R” stands for “revised” – in other words, Hubbard may have changed some things in the bulletin after initially releasing it. The next letter shows how many times it was revised so in this case “A” indicates it was revised once; “73RB” means that the same bulletin was revised twice. That is important because the Barnes discovered that seven pages of Hubbard’s instructions had been removed from the bulletin by Scientology’s current management after Hubbard died in 1986. In Scientology, altering Hubbard’s writings is a criminal offense, so the Barnes took it upon themselves to bring these alterations to the organization’s attention.

The internal documents and reports listed on the Meet Greg and Debra Barnes page may be a little difficult for the “unitiated” to read but nonetheless, they offer a fascinating glimpse into how the organization conducts its internal affairs and the format in which Scientologists are instructed to resolve disputes and grievances, namely by writing reports.

Greg and Debra Barnes

Posted: 23 Aug 2009 05:36 AM PDT

Altering the Tech is a high crime in Scientology, punishable by expulsion (or as it’s known in Scientology, being declared a Suppressive Person.) So why are current members of Scientology allowing David Miscavige to make huge alterations to Hubbard’s writings once again? They should stand up and demand his removal.

Of course, people in the past who pointed out these alterations were themselves declared SP for daring to speak out. Here’s Greg and Debra Barnes to talk about what they went through in the 90’s.

Anatomy of a Declare
Greg and Debra Barnes discovered that someone was re-writing Hubbard bulletins and they they were excommunicated for making that discovery.

While they were doing Scientology’s confidential upper OT level VII the Barnes were shown a technical bulletin (C/S series 73RB) that Scientology’s new management claimed was written by Hubbard. The bulletin stated that the security checks (also called “refreshers”) they and all persons auditing on OTVII were being forced to undergo each six months contradicted what Hubbard himself had directed about such processes. They also realized that C/S series 73RA was 12 pages long whereas the bulletin they were reading was only 5 pages long.

So, why is that important and what are all the numbers? C/S Series 73RA means that this was Hubbard’s 73rd bulletin on Case Supervision of auditing processes; the “R” stands for “revised” – in other words, Hubbard may have changed some things in the bulletin after initially releasing it. The next letter shows how many times it was revised so in this case “A” indicates it was revised once; “73RB” means that the same bulletin was revised twice. That is important because the Barnes discovered that seven pages of Hubbard’s instructions had been removed from the bulletin by Scientology’s current management after Hubbard died in 1986. In Scientology, altering Hubbard’s writings is a criminal offense, so the Barnes took it upon themselves to bring these alterations to the organization’s attention.

The internal documents and reports listed on the Meet Greg and Debra Barnes page may be a little difficult for the “unitiated” to read but nonetheless, they offer a fascinating glimpse into how the organization conducts its internal affairs and the format in which Scientologists are instructed to resolve disputes and grievances, namely by writing reports.

Greg and Debra Barnes Knowledge Reports

Posted: 23 Aug 2009 05:35 AM PDT

These internal Knowledge Reports were exchanged in the organization in 1999 in accordance with Scientology’s Ethics procedures while the Barnes’ fought to clear their names and to get Hubbard’s technology applied correctly during the upper OT levels.

“Things That Should Not Be” Report
May 10, 1999

At the time Greg wrote this report, he didn’t understand that he was intentionally being “reverse audited” at Flag Service Organization.

On Friday I go into session with Therese Blum she flys my ruds. Asks do you have ARC X? Then looks up and asks do you have an ARC X? I answer and she says s/g that I could not understand. She then asks do you have a PTP? She then asks do you have a consideration and I said yes aren’t you going to complete the ARC X and she says ” it didn’t read”. This stuck my attenion and then she does not reask PTP and goes right to W/H and after she asks the? she looks up and says has a w/h been missed. We spent at least 45 minutes and I could not find anything for the longest time and we finally got how I was covert in a comm cycle.

Then next thing she said was that we are going to start the sec check. The ? was has RTC missed a W/H on you? I could not find a/g on this. She then started asking me about any out ethics in general and I told her that I had yelled at my son and my wife and had been invalidative. None of these are of recent nature. She then started asking for more out-ethics and she volunteered areas porn on the internet, entheta on the internet about Scientology, had I slept with Virgina McClaughry and she went on.

I asked her aren’t you going to take up any of those that I gave you and she said no I am just checking for an overview of out-ethics. She then took up my yelling at my son and after I told her about it she did not ask when or is that all or anything else. I asked her if she was going to finish the overt and she did. I was told by her that we were going to do this FPRD style and she hatted me on this but we did not handle this OW FPRD style we FN’ed it and then ended off.

After the session I decided to request another auditor because of the ARCX confusion and her not being an American maybe there was a language problem.

I called on Saturday and requested from Valerie a change of auditor and requested Debbie Titus who had been auditing my wife and had had great wins with. I was told that by Valerie that Debbie Titus was a review auditor and could not do Sec Checks. This made no sense since she was doing my wife’s eligibility, I also requested a change of C/S. I told Valerie that I had only 5 hours of sleep and was not sessionable she said come in anyways.

I arrived and Valerie the senior D of P denied my request for another auditor or C/S and told me that I was going to continue with this auditor and C/S. I told Valerie about the ARCX confusion in session and about her accent and she just acked me.

After Valerie had denied my request the auditor opens the door to the HGC and says to me ” problem with my accent?” She was sarcastic about it.

We went into her auditing room and I told her that I was not sessionable and she put the cans in my hands and told me that she was going to do a FPRD correction list. I told her no we weren’t because I was not sessionable and that was squirrel and I put down the cans. She tried to get me to pick up the cans and I refused. After some 10-15 minutes of my refusing to pick up the cans she said let’go.

I was then escorted back to the MAA office and then back up to the HGC. Causuma came up and said that my auditor was going to do an ethics interview.

I went back into the auditors room and she began asking me “what overt has been restimulated” this was run repetitively on me with no OW’s that I gave being taken up per standard handling of OW’s. I started to get enturbulated and asked if there was another question and she said no just answer this one. After some 20-30 minutes of having this question run on me repetitively with no FN’s indicated or OW’s per the standard handling I refused to continue and put the cans down.

She then got up and opened her door and Causuma and April came in and escorted me to the RTC rep(Italian girl) and told her that I was being uncooperative. I told the RTC rep that the auditor tried to do a FPRD correction list on me and I was not sessionable. April then told the RTC rep that I had shown ED Gonsolin C/S Series 73RB and that he was off the level. I told April she was lying. April then told the RTC rep that 10 people had seen the reference and this was also a lie. More discussion was had and Causuma told me that she wanted do an ethics interview and I agreed.

We went back to the HGC routed back into the auditing room and I told Causma to tell the auditor what we were going to do and she did. I sat down this time even more tired and the auditor began with “what overt has been restimulated”?? I told her we were suppose to do an ethics interview and she said this is it. This repetitive process of “what overt has been restimulated” went on for about 25 minutes and then I said no more. I told her that I was tired and getting hungry and she said “I just want to get this question answered”.! I continued for awhile longer and then said no more.

I stood up and the auditor stood up and tried to get me to sit back down and I told her that I just wanted to go see Causuma. She would not accept this and she blocked the door. I told her we were not going to continue this because I was tired and getting hungry and I wanted to go home and get some sleep. I told her we were not going to continue and that was that. I started to get pissed and she said “I know you want to hit me so go ahead” I told her that I wasn’t going to hit her I just had had enough. Cuasuma and April then came in and started to somewhat yell at me and showed me HCOB 6 March 1982R Confessional Tech Policies and told me that if I did not answer the question that she would put a non-enturbulation order on me. I told her go ahead I don’t care because this was going no where and I was tired and hungry.

I agreed to go at it somemore so the auditor came back in and we proceeded on the repetitive question”what overt has been restimulated”. This went on for another 10-15 minutes and finally I said no more. I was giving OW’s with the questions but none of them were taken down per how to handle OW’s and no FN ever indicated. After she got that no matter what she did I wasn’t going to continue Causuma and April came in like the door was never locked. They both said that this question is reading and you are going to answer it. I told them that I had been answering it and one of them said you are going to answer it somemore. April then sits down in the auditors chair and says I am going to ask you s/g pick up the cans. I told Causuma to stay and she did. April asked me “what overt has been restimulated?” I put the cans down and said no more.

The auditor then came back into the room and all three of them were blocking the door. I told them that this was too weird and that this wasn’t Scientology and I did not sign up for this insanity. I tried to get to the door and they were gently pushing me back and I said enough. I was threatened with non-enturbulation order and again I said I don’t care, I refuse to cooperate any further that this whole situation was over and that they could do anything that they wanted.

The auditor then came back inside and Causuma and April then left and she asked me if I could come back in tommorrow. I told her no and to have Cathy call me on Monday.

Cathy calls me on Monday and I tell her that I am not coming in. I get transferred to Causuma and I tell her that I am mailing her a letter and it will explain everything.

She trys to get me to come in to speak with her but I refuse and we both hang up. She calls back and leaves a message that if I am not there in :30 minutes she will put a non-enturbulation order on me for blowing a sec check. Causma calls me back and we talk and I tell her that I am not coming in and I won’t let Debra have done to her want was done to me because it was squirrel and she knew it.

Causuma tells me to come pick up my Non-Enturbulation order and I told her just mail it to me and we ended the comm.

This is what occurred and I wouldn’t have believed it if it didn’t happen to me personally. I want you to know that I did everything to cooperate for as long as I could and I should have stopped the entire madness a lot sooner than I finally did. It is obvious to me that there is an SP on the lines for something this gross to have occurred. I do hope that you can see that there was everything done to try and spin me in and make it look like I deserve a NON-Enturb order based on False Reports and a squirelly sec check or ethics interview.

more to come...

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« Reply #4 on: August 25, 2009, 04:03:20 PM »

Letter to Scientology’s International Justice Chief (IJC)
May 10, 1999

Last night (5/9) my wife and I went to our first hearing of our comm eve. We had requested K/R’s on Saturday and were denied copies of these by April the public MAA and the Heather Petzold the Senior Dir of I &R. I told the Dir of I & R that we needed a copy of the K/R’s per HCOPL so that we could respond to the charges she said you will see them at your Comm Eve. We were called by April later that night(Sat) and left a message that my wife and I could come in on Sunday evening to see the K/R’s @ 7:00PM approximately 30- minutes before the committee met. April also left on the same message that we were both under a non-enturbulatin order.

My wife and I went in and there were some K/R’s by April. I had 5 K/R’s plus a non-enturbulation order that I was not given a copy of and told that she only had one copy. I asked for copies of the K/R’s and was told by April that she would make copies and give them to me later. I never got copies. April asked me if Debra knew she was under a non-enturbulation order and I told her how were we suppose to know we never received a copy of any notice of such an action. Neither my wife or I have ever received a NON-Enturbulation order and a lot of ethics gradients have been skipped here, this is very ethics.

The hearing was short and I was asked by Art Webb how I pleaded to several charges just charges no specifics of why I was being charged with anything. I plead innocent to everything except causing a problem and I pleady guilty. I asked if I could tape the proceedings and was told that there is no policy stating you can. The committee had a tape recorder but I do not know if it was on or not. Since we were being denied a bill of particulars and K/R’s I wanted to have a record of what went on. I was not asked any questions by the committe regarding any of the evidence. I provide each committe member with the attached data.

After I gave my pleadings to the more than 8-10 crimes and I think there were some high crimes I was dismissed. This occurred around 8:00PM I am not sure of the exact time.

I went out and sat down in reception and was not seen again by the committee. I requested to see my Non-Enturbulation Order, from one of the members, she was a black girl, who kept on coming out of the meeting room. She told me to get it from April and I told her that April had given her only copy to the Comm Eve committee. The girl went in and was coming out with the Non-Enturbulation order when another member stopped her and the black girl said you will have to get a copy from April.

My wife went into the meeting and after she was done I told the black girl that we would be responding to the K/R’s that the committee was given on us. She told me that I could send the responses per policy to ethics and that they were not interested in receiving our responses and that it did not matter. The girl was polite but was very clear in that the committee did not want our responses. How can a committee of evidence evaluate correctly the innocence or guilt of someone if they do not have all the data. This is our concern that this fact finding body does not have all the facts and I do not know if we have seen all of the reports either.

I was shown 5 K/R’s and not given any copies otherwise I would have attached them for you to see.

Here is a rundown of what I saw:

K/R by Peaches Pook a public and friend of mine: She wrote that I told her that we tell all new people coming on board that we do not allow K/R’s to be written in our company.

Response: I did say that and we also tell people that if you have something to say you tell the person whom you have something to say to. Get in comm don’t just write a K/R apply ethics gradients.

K/R-Jessica (Public MAA Receptionist): This K/R stated that my wife was yelling at April concerning where are our K/R’s.

Response: Her voice was raised by not yelling and we were upset that we were being denied copies of K/R’s which violates HCOPL K/R’s as well as denied a copy of the bill of particulars. We were justifiably upset that here was a document that accused us of some very serious acts as well as acts that were totally false and the Heather the Dir of I & R was extremely short with me regarding my wanting to have a copy. She stated “that you have been furnished a copy and you read it and that is all we have to do and we do not want you to have a copy”.

K/R-Causma(Public MAA): Stated that I refused to come in and see her and told her to mail me my non-enturbulation order that she said that she was going to put on me for not coming in to see her. It stated other points as well but that were the main points that I recall.

Response: True I did tell her that I would not come in and that I would not let happen to Debra what had occurred to me in that non-standard “ethics interview” where I was asked repetitively”what overt has been restimulated” and I was not sessionable and told several terminals this as I stated in my earlier comm to you.

K/R-Theresa Blum(my auditor): One report said that I was evil and 1.1 and I refused to continue letting her audit me. Regarding the evil and 1.1 points of her K/R there were no specific acts that I recall that she gave and per HCOPL opinions are not part of K/R’s. There was more to the report but again I was not given a copy. Theresa also wrote at the top of the report the auditing command she was using “overt in restimulation” I am pretty sure that is what she wrote. The command she used and April used was what overt has been restimulated. I told April that that was the command and that that was a listing question and did she remember that and she just schrugged her shoulders.

Response: This could have been the session first thing Saturday afternoon where she wanted to do a FPRD correction list on me after I told her that I had had only 5 hours of sleep and even after I told her that she wanted to do the correction list and I put the cans down. This was also in another one of my reports that I sent to IJC as well as provided to the committee of evidence.

K/R-Theresa Blum (Do not have data on it ) Again I have no copy as of yet.

K/R-Ruth Valko written by April from an interview: Stated that I told her to read C/S Series 73RB and highlighted exception section and part B of page 4. Ruth told me to write up a Things that shouldn’t be report.

Response: This report was correct but I would like to make it clear that I did not get a copy and neither do I recall if there were other points on the K/R that I would respond to. What is the out-ethics on telling someone to read an HCOB?

K/R-Ed Gonsolin-written by his auditor and I was shown only the top paragraph where it stated that I had meetings at my house. It stated the Virginia and Ed and Debra and myself were the only attendees. The report stated that we met at Virginia’s house. Virginia lives in Idaho, Ed in LA and we live in Clearwater. I told April the above regarding our different states of residence and she stated that maybe it was here in Clearwater. I recall no time when Virginia and ED were together here at Flag and that is not to say that it did not happen but I do not recall a time of specific where we would have a meeting.

At the current moment my wife and I are very concerned that we will be declared suppressive persons. Many LRH references have been violated regarding the proceedings that have transpired so far and they are:

1) Denied a copy of the bill of particulars of the comm eve.

2) Not provided with copies of K/R’s written us and the comm eve committee not interested in our response.

3) False Reports being written on me and my wife as in the bill of particulars stating alarming crimes and high crimes which are not true and this bill of particulars being put in reception of the MAA’s office and we are denied a copy by the Senior Dir of I & R.

4) This entire situation is extremely enturbulating and suppressive to us because of the above stated points and we do not feel that justice is what is being gone after here.

Your immediate help in this matter is needed because we are concerned that we will soon be declared based on false reports.


Greg Barnes

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« Reply #5 on: August 26, 2009, 08:28:30 AM »

                   Non-monetary contributions to Scientology
Letter sent May 19, 1999

Greg and Debra Barnes
Clearwater, Florida 33756

May 9th, 1999

Contributions of Greg and Debra Barnes:

Was awarded the #3 top street bookseller in the US in 1980.

Assisted Dissem org in getting the Tony Hichman interview put on cable TV stations in Dallas in 1984. Went and got several stations to put the interview on. Dallas Texas

Assisted the then Mission in Atlanta with regging and recruitment of staff. I regged an estimated 60-70 thousand dollars and got people moving onto auditing and training who were not.

When mission was becoming org we donated $500.00 to furnish the LRH office and our donation made the project happen. 1984-90

During the Portland trial we paid the plane ticket for someone to go and represent us.

1986, started WISE consulting company Atlanta Georgia and put over 70 doctors onto the bridge and some of these doctors staff joined mission staff. Many became Patrons and are still active today. These doctors spent in excess of $1 million with the church not to mention the others that they brought in that we don’t know about. We paid over 250,000 in royalties to WISE over a 4 year period and introduced LRH admin tech to over 300 doctors. Many of our doctors did L’s at Flag and we sent doctors into orgs in Ohio,Minneapolis and Atlanta and LA Day. Will provide names if desired.

Spoke at a public forum in Gwinette County Georgia against having a psych hospital put in. We went twice and Dwight Matheny who ran the CCHR Chapter in Atlanta can attest to this. 1989-90

Did radio talk show Media on Dianetics in 1986-87, estimate that we did 10-15 talk shows that got very good results.

Became Life time members of IAS right after the IAS was formed.

Moved to Dallas in 1990 and became active with OT committee and was on training.

Went to Chalokoe in Oklahoma City to participate in the support for the center when it was under attacked by David Mayo and other squirrels. Their was a mental health board meeting that was discussing Chalokoe and we were there to show support.

After Oklahoma Bombing a new mission was formed and did not have a supervisor. Debra is an interned sup and took two weeks off of work and went up there so that the mission could open and deliver courses. Her going there was vital for the mission to open. This occurred some 2-3 weeks after the Federal Building was bombed.

We housed for some 30-60 days the sup in training that the Oklahoma Mission sent down to Dallas to get trained.

Went on a OSA cycle with Carol South where we acted like wogs to get data for OSA Dallas on a squirrel group being run by Alan Walters this occurred around 91-92.

Assisted the DSA Austin in recruiting an OT to infiltrate another squirrel group in Dallas by Alan Walters. 93-94

Housed on two different occasions the CO Wise WUS Nattassia Briggs when she was in town to get members signed up. 92-93 estimated time

Housed Bob Bledsoe on two different occasions he was a Flag FSM and assisted him with names of individuals who could be Flag public. 93-94 est. time

Housed for almost two weeks a SO recruit tour. 94-95 est. time

Assisted the Flag World Tour everytime they came to Dallas on possible prospects. Assisted in closing an L-11 package on one Kay Proctor by telling her my success on L-11.

Became OT Committee Chairman in 1994-1996 and ran the most successful recovery program and got more students back on lines than any other OT committee in Dallas. Sponsored seminars with speakers like Jim Kalergis. These events were attended by 50-60 people and books and services were sold because of these seminars. These seminars are still taking place today by my replacement Hildegard Jessup as the OT committee chairman.

Our OT committee put on the most successful fund raising auction dinner for Jerry Boswell who runs the CCHR chapter in Austin Texas this occured in 1996. Our program was so successful that Houston and Austin did the same activity and the dinner is still going on every year and raising more money for CCHR Austin. The Dallas auction raised 15 – 18 thousand dollars. With Austin and Houston the total came to a estimated $35,000.

We personally donated over 2000.00 to CCHR Austin in 1996. We have continued donating funds in 1997 and 98. We have donated to the Clearwater CCHR chapter since we have moved here in November 1996.

In 1992 or 1993 a project was told to us at Flag to get an LRH autobiography published and we donated some 6500.00 to this project.

My wife finished paying for our Patron status in 92-93 and we have since continued donating when we can. We have put into the IAS an estimated 50-55 thousand.

Debra went to great extents to get a squirrel named Angie DeMarro, in 1992-93 off the level when Debra found that this terminal was back on 7 and at home auditing with confidential materials. Hy Levy can attest to this.

Since being in Clearwater November of 1996. Was a spokes person for the Church to the press regarding the Lisa McPherson situation.

Carol South, myself and another terminal took off from work and went to 3-4 TV stations to speak to the station manager or news manager on the Lisa McPherson story and to give them our side of the story.

Participated in March around police station.

Have offered my help to Andrea and Danielle several times to handle people with ARCX’s with WISE.

Have received Commandation Chit from President of WISE Int. at the most recent WISE Conference.

Wrote an article to the St. Pete times at the behest of OSA Brian Anderson regarding the proposed housing of the homeless in downtown and my article was published in the editorial section. I had two editorials published regarding our now defunct Mayor Rita Garvey.

Have told several people about my wins on the SNCC and have pushed people who work with us to get onto course. Got one Gregor Wisner who was a wog onto a course at the mission.


Gave a “What is Scientology” book to the guard at my bank First Union and he went into the Tampa org and started the Personal Integrity Course. 1999

Assisted Michelle Sledge in December of 1998 to get Tony Reid to finish his Lifetime or higher membership and I just last week donated $500.00 to help get books out on the effects of drugs on kids after the Colorado shooting.

After finishing the SNCC part 1 in Jan or Feb of 1999 I started the Hubbard Ethics Specialists course some 30 days later and was on it until recently. April 1999

Routed a doctor from our billing service to Valko Personnel Services for Life Repair in 1997-98

Have mendened ARCX’s between Scientologists since being here. One in particular was an upset that was between Delphi and the Comm Line Newspaper. Both Sandy Adair and Sally Heath can attest to this.

Assisted in getting Dr. Bob Neuwirth from Dallas to Flag for his OT levels 1995-96

Have routed other doctors to Ruth Valko for Life Repair in the past two years. One doctor Richard Lutz and Dr. Wilbeck.

Donated a picture from Author Services to the auction to raise money for the community services program that is put on by Scientology. Eve Witter can attest to this. 1998

Have donated computers and other equipment to Delphi on an ongoing basis. 1997-1999

Have been wearing one of the hats for call in for the Concern Business Association meetings

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« Reply #6 on: August 26, 2009, 06:59:26 PM »

                                        Knowledge Report                                          re: misapplication of standard Scientology policies
June 17, 1999

——C/S International
——ED Int
——LRH Comm Int
——HAS Sandcastle
——Public MAA-Causma
——Public MAA- April Buchanan
——Auditor Terese Blum

Greg Barnes- Flag Public

Knowledge Report

Public MAA- Causma
Public MAA- April Buchanan
Auditor Terese Blum

On May 8th after being denied a change of auditor and C/S I was taken back to Terese Blum’s auditing room. Terese informed me that she was going to do a FPRD correction list and she put the cans in my hands. I told Terese that I had told the D of P Valerie that I had had only 5 hours of sleep and that to do a correction list was squirrel and I refused to let her do the action. This violates HCOB of 19 June 1980 The Auditors Code point 5.

After being routed to ethics because I was not cooperative Terese Blum began what she called the ethics interview with the repetitive command “What overt has been restimulated” . This is a non-standard listing question which violates HCOB 17 March 1974 Two -Way comm, Using Wrong Questions and violates HCOB 19 June 1980 The Auditors Code point 3 – I promise to administer only standard tech to a preclear in the standard way.

During the day after putting the cans down several times after being asked repetitively the “What overt has been restimulated” by Terese Blum and April Buchanan I was restrained from leaving by Terese Blum by her physically blocking the door and trying to physically escort me back into my chair. At one point April Buchanan, Terese Blum and Causuma all three block the door and tried to physically stop me from leaving.

The above mentioned act violates HCOPL of 13 July 1981 Ethics: Freedoms and Barriers where LRH states “Any effort to hold a person against his will deprives him of his power of choice and reduces his self- determinism. Return of self-determinism to the individual is one of the means by which the goal of Scientology is accomplished. Interference with the determinism of any staff member, student or ethics case by use of any form of force is forbidden. The class of offense under which such attempts may fall is covered in the HCO PLs referenced above under the “Crimes” and “High Crimes.”

LRH also states “Furthermore, holding someone against his will, threats of use of force to do injury to another, infliction of injury to another, wrongful or forceful entry upon the property of another and unauthorized confinement or restriction of liberty are violations of both Civil and Criminal codes.”
I was stopped from leaving for some two hours and threatened by Public MAA Causma with a non-enturbulation order if I did not cooperate and continue the squirrel process. Terese Blum at one point said ” I know you want to hit me so go ahead”.

LRH states in HCOPL Ethics: Freedoms and Barriers “No Student, staff member or any public individual on any Scientology org line may be detained against his or her will under any circumstance whatsoever.”
A more detailed account of what occurred on that day and what lead me to request another auditor and C/S is attached.

Knowledge Report about the Public Ethics Officer spreading false information to the Barnes’ friends.
—-C/S International
—-ED International
—-LRH Comm Int
—-HAS Sandcastle
—-Public MAA April Buchanan

Greg Barnes – Flag Public
Knowledge Report
Public MAA – April Buchanan

April Buchana has been calling up Debra and Greg Barnes personal friends and showing them a bill of particulars that has yet to be proven true as well as a K/R written by April Buchanan on Greg and Debra Barnes and Virginia McClaughry. The K/R written by April was partially withdrawn by April in that it contained opinion but it is not withdrawn in the report that she is showing others.

April’s procurring of our friends and the showing of a bill of particulars violates HCOPL 7 December 1969 The Ethics Officer, His Character – “An E/O should never discuss staff members who are merely under investigation or act in a way to 3rd party people. An E/O gets the facts and then acts.”

On or about the middle of May April Buchanan public MAA Sandcastle showed to Larry Geis a friend of ours from Dallas Texas who was here for his six month check our bill of particulars and other K/R’s on us. Larry Geis is not involved with this comm ev or even a witness. Larry then went to David and Bennetta Slaughter and told them to go see this bill of particulars and they in turn told Jeff and Sherly Schaffner and Craig Burton who in turn told one Brenda Spencer to go see the bill of particulars.

April’s actions are covered in HCOPL 25 August 1969 Third Party Investigations. “3RD Party = False Report, Anyone that went into agreement with him carried it forward, usually believing it to be true.” April’s actions also violated HCOPL 16 May 1980 Ethics Suppressive Acts Suppression of Scientology and Scientologists specifically “engaging in malicious rumor-mongering to destroy the authority or repute of one’s fellows” also “outright or covert acts knowlingly designed to impede or destroy Scientology or Scientologists is what is meant by Acts of Suppressive of Scientology or Scientologists.”

I confronted April Buchanan on the phone as to why she had shown our friends the bill of particulars since she knew that the recommendation and findings were not out yet and she stated “people are calling me and asking to see it”. This statement is false since Larry Geis did not even know of its existence till April Buchanan showed it to him and he told others. April also called on Steve and Pam Hackley and she tried to tell Pam Hackley over the phone and Pam told her she did not want to hear it. Steve Hackley a long time friend of mine who is on OT7 went down to see the bill of particulars and now he won’t let his 9 year old son even go to the movies with my 8 year old.


A person who I have known since 1979 wrote me a comm stating ” I am aware of your situation/cycle with our church. I read the bill of particulars at the Sandcastle MAA office last week. I am not interested in any verbal or written comm from you or Debra until you handle your ethics situation scene with the appropriate terminals at Flag” – This comm came from one Craig Burton.

Two of our closest friends Jeff and Sheryl Schaffner would not even write up what they had been told or shown by April to IJC as I had asked. Jeff told me ” I do not want to get into the middle of a war.”

April’s actions are right out of HCOPL 21 November 1972 PR Series 18 ” How to Handle Black Propaganda rumors and whispering campaigns” “He counts on utterances being picked up or distorted and passed on by the base people in the society.” “This is Black Progaganda. It is intended to reduce a real or imagined enemy, hurt his income and deny him friends and support”.

April’s actions of calling individuals known to us who have nothing to do with this comm ev or any of the points in the bill or particulars also comes right out of HCOPL 9 June 1975 PR Series 27 “The Enemy Line” – “When there is a concerted short or long term campaign going on against someone or something from a single or multiple source, there has been a black PR agreement as to what to say about that someone or something.”

April’s statement to me that “people are just calling her about the bill of particulars” can also be proven false by the report by one Ed Sharp who wrote a Things that shouldn’t Be because the receptionist at the MAA’s office (Jessica Greenwood) told her parents Derek and Rose Greenwood that we had not shown up for the comm ev and that Debra Barnes had refused to go in for a sec check on her 6 month check – both false statements made by Jessica. Ed Sharp was called by April Buchanan and told that he could come down to the MAA’s office to read the bill of particulars. April told Ed it was not for general public issue but mainly for AO public.

Dereck Greenwood is a public and is partners in a software company with one Julie Lee who then calls one of my contractors Tony Reid and tells him that she heard from Dereck Greenwood about our ethics situation and then offered Tony a job. The spreading of rumors is still another example of the Black PR campaign being supported by HCO terminal April Buchanan. I also faxed to the CJC at Flag that this was going on and heard nothing back from them.

April’s actions also violate HCOPL 16 May 1980 Issue II Ethics-Suppressive Acts – Suppression of Scientology and Scientologists” LRH states under Injustice:

“It must be remembered at all times that Justice must include a refusal to accept any report not substantiated by actual, independant data, seeing that all such reports are investigated and that all investigations include confronting the accused with the accusation and where feasible the accuser BEFORE any action is decided upon or taken. This is the primary breakdown of any justice system-that it acts on false reports, dicisplines before substantiation and fails to confront an accused with the report and his accuser before any discipline is assigned, or which does not weigh the value of a person in general against the alleged crime even when proven.”

In Ethics Officer , His Character LRH states “An E/O can be used by an SP (with false reports or stupid orders) to needle and hurt a group. The duty of the E/O is plain. FOLLOW POLICY.”

April’s showing of a bill of particulars which has no IA or specifics or any verifcation of truth is in violation of policy especially HCOPL False Reports. April actions are also violations of the HCOPL 16 May 1980 Ethics – Suppressive Acts -”Outright or covert acts knowlingly designed to impede or destroy Scientology or Scientologists is what is meant by Acts of Suppressive or Scientology or Scientologists”.

April’s showing of the bill of particulars but conveniently leaving out our responses to the charges as well as the fact that she denied us all copies of K/R’s as well as the HCO Dir of I & R denied us a copy of the Bill of Particulars which violates HCOPL Committee of Evidence. As LRH states in HCOPL 3 September 1980 Out of Sequence “Omitted data runs a close second to Out- of – Sequence as the most common outpoint.” As LRH states in HCOPL 19 Sept 1970 Data Series 18 Summary of Out-points “injustice is usually a wrong target out-point.”

LRH states in HCOPL 27 March 1965 “The Justice of Scientology its use and purpose being a Scientologist” “Nobody can be suspended or punished by the convening of a Committee of Evidence. It’s there to find the truth.” April’s actions of showing the bill of particulars to our friends and others at the Sandcastle violates this HCOPL. As LRH states in this HCOPL “some are guilty most are innocent.” “If a person is to keep the law, he or she must know what the law is. And must be protected from viciousness and caprice in the name of the law. If a person doesn’t keep the law knowing well what it is he or she hurts all of us an should be handled.”

As LRH states in HCOPL 1 July 1968 Warning Signs – “#2 An area which issues false reports can be considered to have had its ethics pass over the cliff way way back. This should be pounced on fast fast fast.” April’s showing to others this bill of particulars violates this HCOPL in that the Bill of Particulars violates HCOPL How to write an Ethics Order in that it contains generalities and false reports that can be disproven.

Letter to Scientology’s Ben Shaw, Director of the Office of Special Affairs (”OSA”)
July 5, 1999
Dear Ben,

It has been almost a month since you and I have been in communication about this cycle. In my original letter to you I stated that we wanted to see what reports were written on us and to answer these reports and get to the truth. So far nothing has happened administratively, to correct one of the squirellest events that we have ever experienced in Scientology, not to mention that it occurred at Flag.

If you and Kathy True have done something we(the interested parties) know nothing of what you have done.

Case in point no reports have been shown to us that would warrant any of the activities taken by Therese Blum,April Buchanan, Causuma,Haveva or Julia the receptionist of the Sandcastle MAA’s office. You mentioned to me that these individuals are not out to hurt us and that they were working off of some serious reports. What type of serious reports would warrant a Black PR campaign and squirrel processes run on two OT’s? (Greg Barnes, Virginia McClaughry)

You and Kathy both state that what was done was not Scientology and the four of us agree on that point. You and Kathy both state that you are investigating the scene but yet we are asked no questions about any of the events that occurred nor are we shown any of the “serious reports” that you spoke of on the phone to me on Friday night. Why don’t you simply apply LRH to the K/R’s written on us and let us respond?? It is only with the application of LRH administrative tech can this situation be truly sorted out. We want to see these serious reports!!!

All of the parties who have been mishandled are willing to answer any question asked of them and to respond to any report written on them but no questions or reports have been provided. Why?

I do appreciate your willingness to help and you have calmed a situation down but what has been resolved???? What I perceive is that we are all still under investigation and could someone just be honest enough to tell us why???

Until the truth is known to us on who ordered the squirrel handlings and the Black PR campaign put out by the MAA’s at the Sandcastle and all the reports are handled per how LRH states they are to be handled and the comm ev canceled and the non-enturbulation orders canceled and our names cleared and truth put on the line nothing is going to as-is for anybody.

When you are ready to sit down to go over the reports call me and we will arrange a time for all of us to meet that is step number 1 per LRH so let’s apply LRH, we will all win that way.

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« Reply #7 on: September 02, 2009, 05:50:10 PM »

Scientology’s Letter in Response
Greg and Debra Barnes
Clearwater, FL 33756

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Barnes:

We are in receipt of your request of a return of your donations to the IAS.

The rules of the IAS clearly state that contributions are not refundable. This rule is set forth on the IAS membership and donation forms. You acknowledged your understanding of this policy when you signed these forms.

Please advise if you have further informationregarding this matter you would like me to consider.


Lise Cohee
Legal Affairs Director
IAS Administrations on behalf of the IAS

Well, it seems that Greg and Debra did, indeed, have some further information they wanted Lise to consider, so they wrote her back the following letter:

From Greg and Debra Barnes

June 5, 2000

Dear Lise,

We certainly do have further information for you to consider it is where to start, is the problem.

First of all the IAS is an enforced membership that if anyone is to do services as long as we did and went as “OT” as we did you have to become members. The additional donations are harassed out of you with alarming tales of the tech being “attacked” or needed “publications” to alert the populace of the dangers of what ever the flavor of the month dangerous environment you guys dream up is.

We gave to your organization based upon the false reports by your representatives of the German Scientologists being persecuted by ex-Nazi Psychiatrists, when in actuality according to all the German Scientologists I spoke with at the Sand Castle, it was the financial irregularities and out 2-D activities of org executives in Germany as well as poor results, that created the attacks, which your representatives failed to mention conveniently.

We gave to your organization without knowing that RTC was rewriting LRH technical bulletins and his basic books which lower ones ability to obtain power and the results LRH speaks of. I gave to your organization without knowing of the criminal actions being perpetrated on Scientologists and ex not to mention the general public in which millions were spent, and are still being spent, defending your criminal actions in which you lose the cases. (specifically Mr. Hill in Canada and Bonnie Woods in England to name a few)

We gave to your organization without knowing of Fair Game still being practiced by the GO…oops we meant OSA. We gave to your organization without knowing that Mike Rinder’s opinion of spiritual sustenance was holding my friend down and forcing a concoction of illegally obtained drugs down her throat. Evidently you guys found some other lost tech that we did not know about.

We gave to your organization and attended the Patron Balls because we believed in your stated goals of “support and protect the Scientology religion and Scientologists in all Parts of the world so as to achieve the Aims of Scientology as originated by L. Ron Hubbard”.

Never in our wildest dreams did we ever think that we would be on the receiving end of your “Fair Game” and “Black PR” tactics. Never did we think or even vaguely consider that you would hold me against my will at the Sandcastle whilst one of your “Golden Age of Tech” auditor of the year award winning auditors would perform squirrel processes in an attempt to create a psychotic break and when that failed your organization turned on its “Fair Game” machine. Did I fail to mention the C/S was the deputy Senior C/S FSO. We did not see the “support and protect Scientologists” hat being worn here.

The fact that orgs in Germany, France, Russia and Spain are on life support and the fact that the “Church of Scientology” is on the way out in Europe is evidence of your hat not being worn regarding protecting Scientology. Some how I do not think that LRH envisioned your actions or inaction as the ” Aims of Scientology” he was talking about… I could be wrong there though. Oh, did I forget about you being kicked out of Greece and your charitable status being laughed out of England, in other words denied.

Regarding the Scientologists in France, Germany and Italy who went to jail for fraud and other interesting crimes did you protect them by bribing the prison guards to give them extra rations of cigarettes or was the CSW for a grant to help them denied because the funds were needed for attorneys else where.

Need we go one with the total disdain and contempt that we have for the despicable con job you are perpetrating on the Scientology public? I think maybe you got our point but if not please do not hesitate to write back and I will give you more.

J would think that an organization of such an “ethical purity” with such a crusade for “Total Freedom” would be insulted to want to keep the money of such people who think of you as we do. I would think that you would be glad to be free of the funds we gave you and wash your pure hands of our despicable association.

Well we think that we have given you enough to consider and we do hope that you will be sickened by the thought of holding onto dirty money such as ours.

Oh we will give you back the Patron Pin and Plaques upon receipt of our funds but the photos that were taken of us at the “Balls” we will keep.


Greg and Debra Barnes

P.S. I do not think that Loretta Miscavige had to write to you when you gave back her $40,OOO…oops…I guess no one was suppose to know that… well that is the story we were told.

This communication did seem to have an effect. This is the letter Greg and Debra received in response:

3 July 2000

Greg and Debra Barnes
Clearwater, FL 33756

Dear Mr & Mrs Barnes:

We are in receipt of your letter of June 13th, 2000. We find your allegations to be totally unfounded, nonetheless, and while under no legal obligation to make any refund of your donations, the IAS has decided, upon review of your letter and your clear indication that you no longer desire to be a member of the IAS, to return to you the donations you made.

Please find enclosed a Release and Waiver for your signatures. The Association will, upon receipt of the executed Release and Waiver, forward to you a cashier’s check in the amount of $40,660 being equal to all the donations you made to the IAS, and will cancel your memberships in the Association.


Lise Cohee
Legal Affairs Director IAS Administrations on behalf of the IAS

The Barnes sent their release and waiver in and in return they received the following letter with a check for $40,660 enclosed:

26 July 2000
Greg & Debra Barnes

Clearwater, FL 33756

Dear Mr. & Mrs. Barnes,

Find enclosed a check in the amount of $40,660 being the return of all the donations you made to the International Association of Scientologists in your name and on behalf of your family.


Lise Cohee
Legal Affairs Director IAS Administrations on behalf of the IAS
Release and Waiver
We, GREG and DEBRA BARNES herewith declare the following:

That we have made non-refundable donations to the International Association of Scientologists (”IAS”) in the amount of US$ 40,660. With the receipt of a return of that amount, being all funds ever donated by us to the IAS on our behalf and on behalf of our children, we waive all claims and rights against the IAS. All our claims against the IAS are settled for any legal reason with the receipt of the above sum.

That we, our heirs, our successors, representatives, agents, employees, attorneys and assigns release and forever discharge the International Association of Scientologists, IAS Administrations, and their respective successors, agents, officers, directors, divisions, shareholders, trustees, fundraisers and employees from any and all claims, damages, causes of action of any kind which we now have or may hereafter have, from the beginning of time, to and including the effective date of this release.

That we understand that the term “any and all claims” as used above, means and includes, but is not limited to, all claims of any kind, whether known or unknown, anticipated or unanticipated, past or present, contingent or fixed. We agree that the term “any and all claims” shall be interpreted liberally and as sufficiently comprehensive so that this agreement precludes any and all disputes, litigation or controversy brought by the undersigned.

That we have resigned our memberships and those of our children in the IAS.

That we are signing this Release and Waiver on our own free will and decision.

That we have read this Release and Waiver and understand completely each of its conditions and stipulations.

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« Reply #8 on: September 02, 2009, 05:51:46 PM »

The flood of Real stories is happening.
Here is another...
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« Reply #9 on: September 02, 2009, 07:43:25 PM »

               Trapped in Pacific Base - Chapter 1

So there I was. Staff at AOLA. A far cry from my previous post titles, but still respectable, still Sea Org, still one of the "elite of Planet Earth". I wore the white shirts and grey pants of a military-esque uniform. I had only two complete uniforms, making getting through the week rather challenging. I learned a number of tricks (such as table salt, mixed heavily with water, applied to the armpit regions of my shirts to prevent odor) to allow my precious two changes of uniform to get me through the week.

I was a good Scilon! In my post, day to day, I helped Scientology to the tune of millions of dollars. But every so often, the stress of the 12+ hour days would get to me. The rush, the deadlines, the overwhelming piles of paper, the crushing pressure would get to me.

I was too young to vote. I was too young to legally smoke the cartons cigarettes I chain-smoked and had no trouble obtaining. I had no idea what the "real world" was, being transplanted from my parent's care directly to the Sea Org. I thought I had the answer to life, the universe, and everything, and that, armed with "the tech" I could save the world from its own collapse, and build a world of peace, love, and happiness. It was an intoxicating formula; I was arrogant and on top of the world.

But then, every so often, the pressure of it all would get to be too much. And then I'd go see Tasha. She was my lifeline. She was this cute, 30-something gal with a winning smile and excellent figure. She was way too mature for me, but not so much that I had any trouble noticing what a beautiful woman she was. (Hey, guys are guys!) But that's not why I loved Tasha, that was merely icing on the cake. I loved her because I quickly found that she was the only person who I could really, really talk to.

See, in the Sea Org, there's a culture of being "tough". Everybody read the policies about how "many are called, and few are chosen". Most people can't hack it, being in the Sea Org is tough, and everybody pretty much wore that on their shoulder. Being nice was for the weak. But, even though everybody has to "play tough" while on staff, the truth is that we are all just human. And those who don't find somebody to confide this weakness to, usually don't last.

Tasha was my confidant. I could talk to her, I could cry, I could vent my frustration and despair, and she would listen. I tried as hard as I could to do the right things, to follow policy, and to make life better for everybody, but it's not easy. So, every month or so, when it all got to be too much, when I just couldn't take it anymore, when I just needed to unload, I sought Tasha out, and let her know that I needed to talk to her.

She was an ethics officer, it was her post to deal with the ethics and performance of staff members, so of course, she would never deny me. Even though I felt a very personal connection to her, I was also a stat to her! It was a win-win relationship. And once the door closed, once I knew that it was just her and me, the tears would roll, the sobs would splash, and it would all come out. It was cleansing, therapeutic, letting all the stress out in this torrential flood!

And invariably, she would note that I was young, working my very, very best, and would write up a commendation chit to my seniors, noting several good things that I had actually accomplished, and it would feel relieved, cleansed, and ready to "do it again" for another few weeks or so.

In retrospect, I hope she knew just how much I depended on her. I loved her. But then, she left, and thus began my fall from grace.

I mean, I'm tough, right? I'm an eternal being, billions of years old, and I can take it. I can work my ass off for 12+ hours per day with no end in sight, to then be yelled at for some minor transgression, and know that I'm doing this to save the world.


And it worked, for a while. For a few months, I held my composure firm. I was a tough, OT, a Sea Org member. But as the time wore on, and as the days began to blur together, my view of the world became increasingly gray and foggy. Rather than really care about what I did, it became just something I did. My slapstick sense of humor quieted down. I no longer leaped down the stairwells from landing to landing, choosing instead to simply step down them.

Yes, my stats were good, in a power trend, no less. (for those who don't know, that's as good as it gets!) I routinely got half-day libs on Sundays. My seniors loved me. But I was slowly dying inside, and I was actually well aware of it. I knew that I needed Tasha, and I knew that she was gone, and I knew that I was decaying from within. And because merely confessing that fact would most likely result in my being severely reprehended or even RPFd, I kept my mouth shut. I said nothing, and I tried to stick it out, hoping some other option would appear.

Until that fateful day.

I woke up, staring at the springs of the 3rd bunk above my 2nd level bunk in my male berthing room Lebanon Hall, and I knew it was time for morning muster. I should have been in a hurry to put on the cleaner of my two shirts and be out the door in a flash, but I didn't care. I wasn't going to go in today. There was no point, no reason, no desire to go in.

It was a strange sense of disconnection that I felt. I can honestly say in retrospect that I had simply "run out" of emotions. I had no more emotion energy left to burn. It takes emotion of some kind to motivate you to do anything at all, and I had simply run out. And I wasn't going to go into muster. Not today. Not because I hated it or disliked it or anything - I just didn't care anymore. It was like I sort of snapped, and suddenly, I was a different person. With different cares, feeling, everything.

So I laid there on my 2nd tier bunk and waited, until about the time that staff muster was over. It was about 10 minutes longs. I knew that my senior would be coming to my berthing, to see what was up. He would have already been upbraided for my absence, he would want to know where I was, one of his favorites. He would want to at least appear to care about me, since a big part of his good fortune was my doing.

So I rolled out of my Lebanon Hall berthing, throwing on some civies, and headed out to the fire escape, at the end of the hall. The door to the fire escape on the 5th floor was always open, in retrospect, I can't even remember if it could be closed. So I walked out on to the fire escape with a fiction book from the staff book exchange, and sat down, out of view of the hallway but in earshot of my room, and waited for them to appear.

And within a few minutes, they did. My senior (who, for anonymity's sake will remain un-named) appeared with a Pac Base Crew security guard (who had the master keys to the rooms) and knocked loudly on my door, calling my name. After several attempts, I could hear them entering my room, then leaving a few moments later, commenting on my absence.

"It's not like him, What's going on with ___?", I remember hearing my senior say. And I really, truly, didn't care. After waiting to hear them enter the elevator, and waiting another minute or two, I headed back to my room and continued reading my book for another half hour or so, before heading to breakfast.

Breakfast was served all morning long by the Pac Base Crew. The Main Mess was something like a school cafeteria. They had a half dozen or so large trays of food available. You lined up, and served food to yourself, usually a plate on a cheap fiberglass tray. They had a number of rotations of orgs, as there are many in the Pacific Complex, so breakfast was pretty much continuously served from 7:00 AM to 10:00 AM or so. There was an hour or so of cleanup before they started the lunch round, and so on. They didn't keep track of who is what or where, there were no tickets. It's all pretty much on the honor system.

So, if I simply walked in to the main mess as if I belonged there, got a tray, and fed myself, nobody said a word. The assumption was that if I didn't belong there, somebody would say something. And those who knew anything about me were busy in the org with their morning stat analysis and battle plans for the day, so nobody said anything.

And nobody bothered me, and I had a nice, slow breakfast of runny eggs, yogurt, coffee, and granola with a slice of overcooked bacon, which is pretty much what they served every morning. And then, the question: what would I do with my day?

I had perhaps $10 or so to my name. I had time, so much time, an entire day. What seemed to me an unbelievable, almost unlimited amount of time!

I decided to go to the Beach. A bus ticket is cheap in Los Angeles, and is good for as long as you stay on the bus. So buying a ticket (I think it was a $1.25 or so back then) on Santa Monica Blvd would let me stay, all the way to the beach.

And that's what I did. I wore shorts and a T-shirt, and finished my book on the long ride to Santa Monica Beach. And there, I sat in bars, listening to the live music. I argued philosophy with complete strangers. It seemed almost cleansing to take my Scientologist hat completely off, and just be... anonymous. Some guy, that nobody knew, but who was friendly and like to chitchat.

I made several pseudo-friends that day. People I knew I'd never meet again, but who I hung around with for the day. It was nice to be "friends". I never told a soul that I had anything to do with Scientology.

Being a minor, I was finally evicted from the bar I was in at around 7:00 or so, and ended up outside. I wasn't ready to go back, so I hung around the wharf, watching a pantomime for a long, long time. When he finally left, having blown horse-balloons for countless children, the busses weren't running any more, so I found a bridge a mile or so away and slept on a piece of cardboard underneath it.

Now one of the homeless, I fit right in.

The next morning, hungry, I spent my last $1.25 and got on the Santa Monica bus to head for the compound. I had blown my post for a day. I knew there would be hell to pay. And for some reason, that fact actually didn't bother me - it was well worth every minute of freedom I had enjoyed at the homeless-friendly Santa Monica Beach.

When I got back, around 9:30 AM, breakfast was still being served by PBC. So I ate another fine breakfast, and headed into the org for my ethics handling. This time, by an ethics officer I knew would be far less agreeable than Tasha.

more to come...
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« Reply #10 on: September 02, 2009, 08:21:07 PM »

                 Trapped in Pacific Base - Chapter 2
I don't think English has a word for the feeling you get when you've done something really, really wrong and yet you just don't know why it's so big a deal. What do you call it when you've done something that others deem to be just horrible and you don't think it's a big deal?

I can't think of that word, because I'm not so sure it exists. But if there is such a word, it's the word that describes my feeling on mid-morning that day.

I knew I'd have to do lower conditions, that I'd have to work extra hours, and put out an embarrassing CSW and ask for re-entry into the group, my group, AOLA. And I'll be honest, I loved the people of AOLA. As I write this, I still do, even though I now consider them to be nuts.

But they weren't nuts then, the day I faced the MAA (ethics officer) at AOLA the day after my unapproved jaunt to the beach.

I got to read the conditions in the ethics book. Again. Of course, it wasn't *my* ethics book, it was obtained from somewhere. And once again, the irony hit me that perhaps the most stolen piece of property that exists while a staffer is a Scientology ethics book. I ended up with several; I never purchased one. I never cared to; when you are paid $20 per week, why would you purchase a $35 book that you can always find for free, somehow?

So there I was, reading an ethics book of unknown ownership. And I had to do my conditions, to write up the conditions, spending a page or two to answer questions like "Find out who you really are." and "Find out what you are." and "Decide on the basis of the 'greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics' who your friends are.". And, armed with stats that never wavered from their power trend, and having done them before, I mopped the floors outside my office, I stripped and waxed them, and numerous other things that were hard, unimportant, and intended to look good on the appeal I wrote a week later to have signed by a majority of the AOLA crew.

And here's the truth: when you are a guy in lowers, most staff are simply annoyed with having to read your stupid appeal (called a "CSW", see definition at the bottom) They have better things to do than read your summary of having cleaned ashtrays and steam-cleaned sidewalks at 2:00 AM. Some enjoy looking down their nose at you, and making sure that you all but donated a kidney for your transgression.

But you only need to have 51% approve your CSW to get back into good graces. So pick the low-lifes, the ones at the bottom of the org chart, whose opinion doesn't matter anyway, but who are flattered by the fact that you are begging for their approval. Know how many approvals you need in advance, and get that +1 before re-approaching your MAA.

And so, a week later, having had nothing change but having another 10 pages of ethics writeups and staff signatures in my ethics file, I was officially returned to good graces. Except that I wasn't. My senior now looked at me with a bit of wariness rather than confident pride. I had blown. I was known to be weak. It was as though others on staff looked at me as if I was doomed.

And I was. Tasha had been re-assigned, was no longer available, and I still had no outlet for the pain of being on staff. The decay inside was so strong that I, for the first time, did lower conditions without really caring what the result was. Ironically, it was the shortest and most easily passed lower conditions cycle I'd ever done. I was able to look at getting my signatures objectively, rather than emotionally, for the first time. I just ran the numbers, and did what it took to get them.

Somehow, the greatest technology of human spirituality, the most powerful technology ever devised to heal the human spirit, could do nothing for the simple fact that I was burning out.

And so, a few months later, I stared, once again, at the springs of the 3rd tier bunk above me, and realized that once again, I couldn't do it. I could not go in, I could not put in another 12 hour day, ignored in the smoke-stained walls of my large, executive office, going through reams of paperwork to sort, file, and summarize in another weekly report.

People are creatures of habit; when they find something successful, they tend to do it again. And so, once again, I waited until I knew staff muster was just about over, I once again grabbed the latest science fiction novel I was reading, I headed out to the fire escape, I waited until my senior (and his senior, this time) and the security guard came to my room, pounded, opened, found it empty, and left.

I've heard it described that when you take cocaine for the first time, it's the most incredible high you'll ever experience. And that no amount of cocaine thereafter will allow you to re-experience that same high. And so you take more and more, until you die from overdose.

I guess something like that was happening here, too. Because I once again went to the mess, I ate a nice, full, relaxed breakfast, and I once again spent the $10 or so going to the beach and hung out in bars making day-friends until my minor age made them kick me out. The mime was there, again!

But it wasn't the same. Somehow, the lovely Santa Monica beachfront just wasn't quite so lovely. Somehow, it didn't feel like quite so much time. It felt hurried; I knew it was going to end. I knew that I would go back on the morrow, and that when I did, it would just be more of the same.

The first time felt like forever, like when school let out in high school. But now, it felt brief, hurried, anxious. It felt like a copy of my previous experience. And, this was going to hurt when I got back, and I knew it, so it wasn't quite as fun.

And so, after a night spent sleeping among weeds next to a business park, at about 11:00 AM the following morning, belly full from my undisturbed late-morning breakfast in the main mess, it no longer mattered so much that my stats were up, that I had provided immense value to Scientology. I had established a pattern: I blow. And it was now a big deal. I was going to pay for this. My conditions wouldn't be so easy to get through, I would work harder to show my dedication to the cause.

And still, I had no way to center myself, I had no grounding rod for all the frustration and pain of being on staff. I could talk to nobody openly, the auditors' friendly and chatty conversational style was no friendlier than a military drilling, even though I, having done the same TRs that the auditor had, was perfectly capable of the friendly, chatty banter that was required.

I was doomed, and I knew it. And if I didn't find some way to do what I did with Tasha, even if only for a little while, with somebody I really trusted, I was sunk.

Suddenly, the truth of the 2D became clear. It was understood among staff that those who had spouses did much better than those who didn't. And now I truly understood why. Your spouse wouldn't rat you out if you cried on his/her shoulder. You could vent your pain, you could heal for a bit, so that you could go back to facing another day of hell on staff. And without that vent, the pressure would just build.

Sooner or later, the bottle would shatter, and the bottle was me.

* * *
CSW = "Completed Staff Work" - it's policy that when you ask for something, you only present a solution, never a problem. So any appeal or request in writing on staff must include a solution to whatever problem you're trying to solve. Your work is not "completed" until it includes a solution, thus "Completed Staff Work")

Ka Kan (sp?) = an ancient Chinese emperor granted immunity to his favored warriors. They were called "Ka Kan" meaning "untouchable". Somewhere, I don't remember where, Hubbard referred to this when staff were upstat.
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« Reply #11 on: September 03, 2009, 08:44:41 AM »

                           Trapped in Pacific Base                    

                                         Chapter 3

I was on the ground floor of AOLA, in the new Ethics Officer's office which was strangely located near the Division 6 area. (raw public) Usually, the ethics offices were on the 2nd floor.

The ethics officer was newly assigned, he appeared to be 20-something, and he immediately struck me as somebody who was very friendly and understanding. I was immediately greatly relieved as his assignment, finally, I was going to be able to get rid of the grey film that had somehow descended over my everyday existence. I preferred the sharp relief of engagement, but I was not engaged. It was like living my entire life wrapped in a perceptual condom, and it was not fun.

I asked for a meeting, made an appointment, and later that day, there I was, in a molded plastic chair on the blue shag carpet in his room.

I explained my situation, I tried to be open. Keeping it shut wasn't working for me; I was becoming desperate. I really, really wanted to save the world from aberration, I really, really wanted to be one of the elite of planet Earth, and I was desperately trying to figure out some way to make things work, to keep myself in line, to deal with the crazy levels of stress, paperwork, and pressure of life on staff. A world without insanity, criminality, and war was the the most important thing in the world to me. I was willing to die for it, if necessary, if only I could get through tomorrow!

There's an interesting phenomenon that goes on as you relate to other people. The more time and communication you have with another person, the less the importance of each individual experience. There's a sort of "inertia" that you develop as you deal with other people over time... When you are dealing with an old friend you've known for years who is acting crazy at this exact moment, you tend to write it off as "just a mood" because you have years of experience to judge the person on.

But when it's somebody new, somebody you have no history with, every single word becomes highly important. You have nothing else to judge them with! A single phrase can be something you lock into, it's something that defines a very significant part of your relationship with that new person.

So there's a distortion that occurs when you are dealing with new people; you have to be very careful how you present yourself to new people while you build up the relationship history that lets them know they can trust you, even though you might get into a mood from time to time.

This is a lesson I learned from this conversation with this new ethics officer. Because, I made the mistake of unloading all my fears, all my worries, my frustrations on this poor gentleman, because he seemed to me to be approachable. And for whatever reason, he didn't hear any of the many things I said except a phrase something like "I don't think I can make this work if I can't figure this out".

He decided to interpret this to mean that I would purposefully destroy things if I didn't get my way. He let me know that I had "evil purposes" and that he would be investigating me.

Suddenly, I clammed up. The blood ran from my face, my throat choked up and instantly refused to speak. Despite his friendly demeanor, this was no friend. Rather than help me solve this problem, he was going to "stick it to me". It didn't matter how much effort I'd put in thus far, or how well I'd done while on staff, despite all the policies stating otherwise.

His vision of "helping me" was analogous to stretching me out on the rack, screaming and writhing in pain all the way. I knew the type - they were everywhere while on staff. But he seemed so open! But he wasn't. He wasn't there to help me, he was there to attack me as part of 'getting things done'. He would count me as one of the SPs removed from staff, and my pain would simply be considered proof of my degredation.

And it was then that I knew it was over. At that moment, in that chair, facing the faux wood desk, I knew I had to leave, but I didn't state it right then. It was a hard decision to make, to leave a group you believe in with all your heart, that you'd die for if you had the chance, but the alternative is utter, personal failure, so the choice was clear.

But if I said it right then, I'd be validating this smug bastard, and I wasn't going to do that. So I kept my mouth shut, I mumbled my way through the remainder of the meeting, spat out a few buzzwords about "making it go right" and "refusing to dramatize case" and left the room. Quickly.

But a few weeks later, I went to the HCO Area Secretary, and announced that I wanted to route off staff. After a half day of them trying to convince me otherwise, and a few more days writing up my crimes against humanity, and more importantly, Scientology, I was officially put on an "ethics cycle", I was informed that I was not to tell other staff that I was leaving, instead to say that I was undergoing an "ethics cycle", and report to the Director of Tech to arrange for my leaving staff Sec Check. (Basically, this is a lie detector test using their E-Meter to find out any crimes/sins I have against Scientology)

In retrospect, it strikes me as a conflict of policy: The Ethics doubt formula requires you to "Join or remain in or befriend the one which progresses toward the greatest good for the greatest number of dynamics and announce the fact publicly to both sides.". Yet, having clearly made up my mind to NOT be a member of staff, I'm required to STFU and not tell any other staff that I'm leaving! But if I was a member of, say, the American Psychiatry Foundation, I'd be asked to go out of my way to write a personal letter to all members announcing my intention to leave. Why does it work one way, but not the other? I thought these ethics conditions were supposed to be "universal truths" about the operation of the universe?

So anyway, I was still staff, but being in lower conditions, I was assigned 1/4 of normal staff pay. As I recall, this was about $8/week. I'd have to cut back pretty sharply on my chain smoking.

I was assigned to the Director of Technology Services (DTS, the guy in charge of delivering auditing) of AOLA, to beg for the chance at getting some auditing so that I could leave.

And in the meantime, I was expected to work on whatever the DTS wanted me to do. He had vast amounts of typing he needed done, and I was a proficient typist. So, with no delay, DTS found a computer for me to type on, and all kinds of stuff to type up. Reports. Statements. Dictations. Letters to public. The amount of typing that a DTS at AOLA can find for a willing servant is all but infinite.

Every day, I would ask about progress finding an auditor who could do my several-hour auditing session. And every day, I would be dismissively told that he was working on it. Every day, the same routine. No change, at all.

In order to leave in good graces, I had to have this Sec-Check. It was part of the "Leaving Staff Routing Form" with Chuck Beatty's name at the bottom. (No, Chuck, if you are reading this, I don't blame you. At all.) And I was willing to sit there, and confess my crimes, because, in all honesty, there wasn't anything I'd done wrong other than take a few unscheduled trips to the beach and sometimes skipping out on my "staff enhancement", which everybody did. But he wasn't really willing to invest these resources into letting me go.

And, why would he care about me? If he did what he was supposed to, I would disappear quickly, and I was quite valuable to him as a typist! And I was a zero-risk target - as somebody asking to leave, I had the status of a cockroach. So, he did nothing at all to let me go, despite me making it perfectly clear that I did not want to stay.

If I just left, I would be declared suppressive. As somebody who still believed, this was abhorrent. No way I wanted to be declared, to be disconnected from all my friends, my way of life, the things that mattered most to me! Yet, there was no way that I could determine that I was going to get my Sec-Check.

I was trapped. I couldn't leave. I couldn't stay. I believed in Scientology, I really wanted to save the world, but I couldn't hack it being on staff. I was hoping that I could leave, make some money, and buy my way up the bridge rather than do it as a staff member. I was told repeatedly what a deadbeat I was, how I was destined to fail, but it was clear that being a staff member wasn't working for me, so what choice did I have?

But I couldn't leave. The DTS wasn't getting me a Sec Check. Staying wasn't helping me any. Since I wanted to leave, I had no credibility, and so I had no ability to force the issue. Nobody wanted to talk to me. What was I to do?

Finally, after almost two months of begging for any kind of auditor, for any kind of progress on my Leaving Staff Routing Form (LSRF), I realized that this DTS offered me nothing at all. He wasn't going to get me in session, he had no motivation to do so, no intention to ever do it, and there was absolutely nothing I could do about it. Going in and typing for another 12 hour day wasn't going to improve anything. But the policies on blowing were very clear: If I left, I was blown, and I would be declared SP. But if I didn't leave the base, I wasn't exactly "blown", because I was still there. There were policies about "blowing your post", but I wasn't, at that point, assigned to any post. I was officially in a ethics cycle, and so was "off post".

So I did the only thing I could do: nothing. Once again, thinking all this through, I stared at the springs of the third bunk above me, and realized that I wasn't going to go in and type more compliance reports for the DTS of AOLA, that there was no point. And, being a creature of habit, I waited until about the time that staff muster was going to complete, I grabbed my paperback book, I stepped out into the fire escape, and read my book, waiting for them to appear.

They did, again, as they had before, right on schedule. They knocked on the door. The security guard let them into my empty room. I waited until I heard them re-enter the lobby elevator, and for the door to close.

Having found a loophole in the Scientology policy, I had just become a ghost. And that's when my life as a vagabond in the belly of Scientology began.
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« Reply #12 on: September 03, 2009, 08:46:48 AM »

                                Tapped in Pacific Base

                                               Chapter 4

There's a curious culture of trust in Scientology. You are among friends, and anybody who presents the right "air" is immediately trusted, often called "esprit de corps". It's like a high-school gang, only there's no possible way that you could conceivably know everybody. So you subconsciously look for certain clues that let you know if you are among friends.

There are security doors, with card readers and key codes. To enter the secured areas, you must slide the card key and enter in the code. Everybody was briefed: don't let ANYBODY in, even if you personally know them - they might be a plant! They have to see security to get a card re-issued!

But the reality was very different: if you stood by the door, and looked like you confidently belonged, the next guy to come by would let you in. It happened to everyone: you left your card in your wallet in your room, your other pants, etc. And anybody who went through the hassle of getting a card re-issued (going through lower conditions, working "amends" after hours, getting everybody in your org to sign your stupid CSW for permission to get a security card, etc) never wanted to do it again.

So staff were pretty nice about letting you in, even if you didn't have a card and had no idea who you were if it looked like you belonged.

Scientology staff is a culture of exceptions. Scientologists are quick to believe that their stories are special cases, that they are handling entheta of incredible magnitude, or they're on a special missing to 'handle' some terrible evil.

So even though there's a strict schedule to follow, nobody bats an eye when it's obvious that you aren't following it, if you don't "look overty" - averted eyes, shrunken disposition, any look of anything other than gross defiance. You are probably on some "special" mission to solve some problem, and there's little point in bothering you, since you are probably pissing off somebody with int-level clearance, and who wants to mess with that?

For all their talk about "ruddy individualism", Scientology staff are impressively docile.

So with an air of defiance, smiling demeanor, and a casual air taught me by extensive TRs, I established a routine that I followed for several months, with nobody ever discovering me despite me living in close quarters with thousands of Scientologists.

Life as a staffer in PAC base was very rhythmic. Everybody woke up together, ate together, worked together, showered together. Orgs staggered their meal times and schedules, but the schedules were very dense and often overlapped.

As a non-staffer at PAC base, the lifestyle was all about living in the off-beats to the normal rhythm of each day. I avoided being present during any of the normal points of the day, eking out a lonely, quiet, somewhat pathetic existence during the times when nobody was around.

And these gaps in the daily schedule are huge. The point was to not be present at any time or place where you'd be expected. Nobody bothered to look at any other time!

The first matter was the obvious one: food. If I went in and ate along with the other staff members of my org, then I had to face the dreaded ethics officer or the other officers of the org (who all knew me well) and I would be brought in, yelled at, made to work, and other gruesome details.

Additionally, I would be made to eat beans and rice, rather than good food. Who wants to eat boiled, unflavored beans and rice? One thing about PAC base, is that the food was actually pretty decent, all things considered.

However, after each of the three meals, there was a period of time about 30-45 minutes or so before the cleaning crew (often EPF) came to clean everything up. If I showed up in that time window, I could get any food I desired from the smorgasboard-style food bar without fear of reprisal from any of the staff, since they were all at staff muster.

So I ate my meals in silence, alone in the large mess hall, eating slightly stale eggs, fruit yogurt, coffee and granola for breakfast, burgers and warm fries for lunch, steak and potatoes for dinner, while watching the cleanup crew do their thing. They never bothered me; I never bothered them.

Then came the next need: entertainment! Life in the underbelly of Scientology is terribly boring. And there's not much to be made in the way of money, so you can't buy entertainment. Televisions are all but non-existent, but books and radios are too cheap and ubiquitous to be gone.

I discovered that on the (4th? 5th?) floor of the Main Building, in the lobby, there was a staff book exchange. Basically, just a bunch of shelves made from some crappy boards and milk crates with used books strewn about casually. Somebody had drawn up a sign indicating that you were to leave as many books as you took. The selection was pretty good, lots of science fiction (always my favorite!) thrillers, and modern dramas. Although there were perhaps 100 - 200 titles available at any time, the turnover was intense - I'd see a very different set of books when I re-visited every few days.

I donated a few of my own personal selection, including the entire series of the much-coveted-among-staffers, expensive "Mission Earth" hardbound books that I never saw again. It was a small price to pay, since I was bored out of my mind.

Maybe I was a horribly out-ethics dirtbag, wishing damnation for all of Earth for wanting to leave Scientology, but I wasn't going to be dishonest at the staff library!

I had a pair of headphones that I kept plugged into my AM/FM alarm radio, and listened to KROQ talk radio at night. "Loveline" with Dr. Drew and "the poor-man" was my favorite show - always entertaining!

Laundry: This is perhaps an area that I still, to this day, find the most interesting.

Staffers at PAC had a pretty demanding schedule: work every single day from about 8:00 AM until 10:00 PM, with Sunday morning off to take care of personal stuff. Sunday morning was "libs". Yes, "libs" was rarely a full day, unless you asked for it AND your 3-week graph was up. And people who asked for full days were typically resented, so you didn't do it very often.

Staffers all tried different strategies to get around the fact that libs was just a half day. Some stayed up late on Saturday night, renting videos and watching them either in the mess hall or in the AOLA front lobby. (which had a projection TV/VCR normally used to play Scientology event videos to public) Other staffers woke up early on Sunday to get a near-full day's time in before showing up for duty at 1:00, after lunch.

There was a staff laundry room that was available for use any time, any day. It was unmonitored, at the back of the compound above the diesel generators and the utility rooms, and you put quarters in the machines to make them go.

So in effect, between the end of day on Saturday (10:00 PM) and early Sunday afternoon, you had some thousand or so people trying to get their laundry done in a small laundry room with perhaps 25 washers and 25 dryers. That it could be done at all is a testament to the determination of the staff! It was chaotic. You carefully tracked the 25 minutes it took to run a load of wash, because laundry that sat for long was pulled out and piled in a corner someplace, hopefully on a bag or something so it wasn't just sitting on the dirty floor.

In any event, on Sunday, mid-afternoon, the laundry room was empty of people, and full of garbage. Other man's trash... my treasure!

I got laundry soap by going through the mostly-empty boxes and pouring them together. Surprisingly, I never had a problem with the "mystery soap". At first, I half-expected the laundry to react chemically and "eat" my clothes, but it never happened.

Since there was almost always a few clothes left behind, it was my chance to try them and see if they fit. Since I was a common size, this is how I kept my wardrobe "fresh". For the sake of honesty, I left clothes on the shelf at the end for a day so that people had a chance to pick up their stuff. It was always completely gone by the end of the week; I just assumed that somebody was picking up the remainders and disposing of them.

But even more amazing: this is where I got my money! See with the mad rush of people trying to get their laundry through the machines, people dropped change, which often rolled under the laundry machines. And if you can imagine this swarm-fest, standing room only, with piles of laundry, garbage, and clothes everywhere, you can be sure that staffers didn't look too hard for that quarter.

With some 1,000 people in less than 24 hours, this change added up pretty quickly. Actual amounts varied, but often exceeded $10. This was enough to wash my laundry and buy cigarettes, the two economic staples of a staffer. (and enough money to visit the beach every so often, if I didn't spend much more than a bus ticket)

For comparison, normal staff pay was about $15 per week.

And finally, personal hygeine This is perhaps the only part that I never felt entirely comfortable with, which may be why I bring it up last. I never, ever had to buy soap or shampoo. I would use the showers mid-morning, after staffers had used them and they were empty, but hadn't been cleaned up yet. (which happened mid-late afternoon) I used the big shower stalls on the 6th and 7th floors of the Main Building.

My first step was to look for soap and shampoo. There were usually thin soap flakes and mostly-empty bottles of shampoo in the stalls. I had a soap container, so I'd smash the soap after rinsing them down and let them dry to make a cohesive bar. The shampoo I just poured into my shampoo bottle.

And then I showered! I bought my own razor blades at the drug store next to Barnsdall Park, but discovered that if I shaved while in the shower, the softened, wet hair didn't dull the blades much, and I could use a single razor for weeks before it became to dull to use.


I bought smokes using laundry machine money. Since I had more time than money, I rolled my own smokes to save money. I don't remember where I got the cigarette roller, but it was a nice one with a vinyl belt and sliding rollers.

Every so often, I paid a room-mate $5 for a hair cut. He had been a barber in his past life as a wog, and did a good job.

I don't know how or why, but even though AOLA considered me "blown", the PAC crew had confirmed that I was still staying in my berth, and wasn't "blown". So AOLA paid for my bunk, and nobody bothered to figure out what was actually going on. They all had their own stuff to worry about - who had time for me?

My bunk was never disturbed or re-assigned.

In this manner, I had plenty of good food to eat, and smokes. I had clean clothes that fit, and plenty of books to read. I was clean shaven, clean cut, and had clothes to wear. I never had any problem looking like I belonged.

Of course, I didn't belong. Slowly, over time, this became more and more clear to me. Months went by.
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« Reply #13 on: September 04, 2009, 02:42:42 PM »

 NOTE: Posting this, not as a tl;dr but I have heard from several new ex Scientologists recently that this letter, which has been on the internet since 2005 was one of the major reasons they felt they could leave the cult after going into doubt about their continuing participation. From what I understand they were already on the fence due to upsets and anomalies inside the cult.

This is not copyrighted
It can re-posted on other forums freely.

12 November 2005

Dear Scientologist,

I completed New OT8 in February 1990 after being in Scientology since
1973. During that period I was mainly "public" but did several years as
a staff member in Paris Org as Qual Sec. I trained up to be a C/S, FPRD
and Confessional auditor and solo auditor. I was a Scientology
celebrity as an international fine artist, creating beautiful paintings
of "visualized" music. Many Scientologists (thousands) knew me
personally from my art tours of orgs and missions in the early 1980s.
Samples of my art can be seen at Michael Pattinson's Photos- powered by SmugMug

Though you may read about how and why I actually left Scientology on
the internet (you would probably have to use a non-Scientologist's
computer, however) and see the data at
Michael Pattinson's Experiences in Scientology, MPES - View from the end of Scientology's the bridge to total freedom, I wanted to address a simple letter
of "Truth Revealed" to you here. After all, that is the very name of
the OT8 level.

As I read the lists of many Scientology staff names and addresses so
recently published on the world wide web I was filled with compassion at the fact of your commitmentand devotion to Scientology and its basic aims. I was also a proud
trooper for decades and was utterly convinced that Scientology was
really everything I read it was and heard it was. Peer agreement was also a strong re-enforcement of my convictions and myunrelenting in-KSW attitude that I applied very well despite itsometimes coming back at me with counter-emotions and counter-efforts.

Like you, I too have made things go right when things looked very
bleak. I, too have spent a lot of money on services and donations that
I really could not afford. I have done the "yo-yo" exercise and stood
and applauded and cheered LRH's photo over and over again at events.

Like you I have also held back the tears of protest and dismay when
"handlings" went wrong or were off-target and waited endless
frustrating hours in waiting rooms for folders, C/s"s and D of P
interviews. I have, maybe like yourself, had serious doubts as to the
unexplainable mysterious "outnesses" in the Scientology lines and
terminals that seemed to be so quickly smothered, hurried away or
blanket-defined as "entheta". I quietly "wondered" (but better not say
anything) at seeing the sudden painful hostilities towards and
upsetting disappearances of staff members, the sadness of the RPFers or
the black hole money pit my money got sucked into so fast.

I have also had the personal wins from auditing, feelings of group ARC
in the briefings and in courses in LRH tech, admin and ethics training,
though in retrospect I could wish that they had been as permanent as my
payments were to purchase them. I have also seen the F/Ns and the VGIs
from my pc's and (in cramming) auditors from applying tech. Without
those wins along the way I would never have made it all way up the
Bridge to New OT8, as you know. Going OT is an uphill battle all the

I have been in your position when my own ethics handlings went both
well or badly, when conditions were applied both to eventual wins and
to the strained "E.P" of satisfying the fixed ideas of tech or ethics
terminals who were aiming at a specific result I had to attain. I have
done conditions formulas till they were coming out of my ears, and tons
and tons of other ethics, tech and admin applications. I personally
knew the Flag Class 12 auditors from the Apollo as I trained with them
at Flag, I have known the Int Execs since they were teenagers, I have
personally known all LRH's children. I have known and frequented many
of the Scientology celebrities too.

I WENT ALL THE WAY UP THE BRIDGE (there is no available level above
New OT8).

What happened then is why I am writing this letter. I wish it was not
necessary to write this but it is. I firmly believe that Truth is a
friend to, and that lies are an enemy of survival. Yes, feel free to
investigate what I write about here...

It is truly heartbreaking for me to have to inform you that you have
been lied to, and not just in a small way. I am so, so sorry to have to
tell you this, but please bear with me.

You have been lied to regarding the "Bridge to Total Freedom" as it
does not arrive at Total Freedom. I know this because I have been there
and experienced it. OT8 is NOT Total Freedom, yet there is no more
Bridge to travel.

You may have wondered why OTs still behave in "strange" or weird ways
and still exhibit aberrated behaviors. They are on the big secret
missed withhold of not having received what LRH promised. Every non-OT
"misses" the withhold.

You have been lied to about O.T.powers. I will not go into any case
data or OT level data as it is not necessary, but I can tell you that
the advertised and promised O.T powers LRH writes about such as
telekinesis (moving objects as a thetan), perfect total recall, "clear"
of any and all aberrations, permanently Cause over Life, real-life
Cause over MEST, etc are NOT in reality delivered by Scientology (in my
direct experience and in that of many others).

You have been lied to about LRH's death, and the lies were criminally
false. The "story" about LRH deciding to causatively but regrettably
depart his body, go off to research further OT levels, etc. was very
likely a pack of lies. The coroner's report found a psychiatric drug
(Vistaril") in LRH's body after death as well as many needle marks. The
surrounding circumstances of LRH's death such as a very unkempt body,
changing his Will a day before he died, the hurried cremation, the
refusal of autopsy, all make for a very suspicious situation. LRH had
been hiding out at the Creston ranch under the false name "Jack
Mitchell" so as not to be served with lawsuits, as those who knew have

You have been lied to about LRH's biography, and in many aspects of it,
not just a few.

Though this may seem to be shocking enough or upsetting already there
are many other big and awful lies you have been told and false data you
have been fed. In fact enough false data to fill books which expose and
clarify them. Such books as "A Piece of Blue Sky" by Jon Atack, Bare
Faced Messiah by Bent Corydon and L.Ron Hubbard Jr., L.Ron
Hubbard:Messiah or Madman?" are full of truths revealed and internal
Scientology mysteries unfurled.

The internet is a source for you to explore the truths that hundreds of
former Scientologists, some from Int Exec strata, have written and

Truth, being made of pure Life itself can never be "entheta". It is
pure theta, even if shocking in its first impact ;like the sunshine
that dazzles the eyes of someone emerging from a deep and dark cavern,
having followed a closely taped path to nowhere but blind obedience.

But why, you may ask, not let us down slowly? Well, we who "found out"
were not let down slowly and we survived the truth and its powerful
re-orientations. So can you.

I invite you to explore the internet and finding your own freeing
truths. I ask that you open your eyes and see for yourself. I invite
you to see both sides of the Scientology coin.

For example;
Operation Clambake - The Inner Secrets Of Scientology
and other linked sites.

BEWARE of those who say "Do NOT look!" or try to label the truth or me,
or other brave ex-members who have the integrity to seak out despite
personal dangers as "entheta" or SP's. To my knowledge I have NOT been
declared SP, and have even asked Scientolgy terminals if there was such
a "declare" on several occasions to no avail, so I would welcome you to
be in communication with me.

I am proud to have been a companion of many, many Scientologists along
the way and I am equally proud of those who have had the guts to speak
out publicly. I regret the lies we were told and the fraud that took
advantage of our trusting good nature. I believe they must be fully
exposed and dealt with appropriately.

In closing, I salute your positive goals, your will to survive, your
bravery in facing new viewpoints and especially the divine spirit
within you that is immortal, beautiful and full of the Light that
shines as bright as the Sun. This inner Light is your real Source.

Michael Pattinson

mpattinson AT gmail DOT com
Got some anons asking for my art link
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« Reply #14 on: September 09, 2009, 09:14:37 AM »

                          EARLY YEARS

Hi. I have been wandering around ESMB for a while and made a few posts. Time to tell my story.
I got into Scientology in 1977 in Adelaide. The org in those days was in Pulteney Street having moved not so long ago from a house is Restormal Avenue Fullarton.
Adelaide was affected by the fallout from the Anderson Enquiry. Initially a lot of Victorians moved to Adelaide and the org did well. Then the SA Parliament passed legislation effectively banning Scientology. It went underground and changed its name to “The Church of the New Faith”.  In the late 70s the Psychological Practices Act had been changed to exclude scientology so it could make something of a come back.
The org in Pulteney Street was a complete hole. The cheapest bit of real estate available. However the rent was affordable and the org was able to expand.  Several of the staff were sent to Flag for exec training including Andrew Simes who was appointed ED.
When I got involved the org was being run by SO garrison missionaries, David and Tina Myers.  Andrew arrived back to great fanfare in early 1978.
I had a friend who got involved in Scio; Chris Francis.  Chris was an old school friend and we played in bands for a number of years.  Chris had wins from auditing and disseminated to me.
I enrolled in the com course which was a sort of medium hard trs course for public in those days.  It was meant to be a reasonably quick introductory course before getting into the more meaty stuff.  Communication was my particular button and I was keen on achieving the ep of the course, which was to be at ease communicating to anyone or some such.
I spend about 4 weeks on the course, spending some hours at TR 0 trying for a major stable win which I interpreted to mean exterior with full perceptions.
The ED, David want me to complete on the course and told me that I would not get all the gains of scientology out of the com course and that I should attest and move on to other things.
I then went on the Student Hat which had all the old unedited SHBC tapes with explanations of R6EW.   Also got my first exposure to KSW  which I guess I was more concerned to ensure I didn’t leave a word misunderstood than the real content of that policy letter.  I was told by the supervisor that I would have to redo the course from the point of the MU so I was  careful about ensuring I knew the words. Because there were some pretty meaty case concepts in the student hat especially in the tapes, I felt I got a pretty good education about scio in that course. 
I then went on to study the HSDC – Standard Dianetics Course. I had to do three practical sessions to pass the course. I took my last pc into session at about 11am on Thursday. This was the Flag Rep of the local org, Duncan Grant, when orgs actually could have someone on that post.  Good fellow.
Anyhow, we got out of session before 2pm and I managed to complete within the obligatory time frame. Didnt get to do too much auditing after that.

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