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« Reply #165 on: December 06, 2014, 09:11:03 AM »

                                                           Kathy Elliott has left the Church of Scientology

    Kathy Elliott has left the Church of Scientology.

    From the Independent Scientology blog Possibly Helpful Advice:

    A Story for Those Flying Under the Radar. . .

    * * * * * BEGIN QUOTATION * * * * *

    By “Felicia Farnsworth”

    My Dear Ones,

    I know that there are many of you reading this who are flying under the radar.

    That is, you’ve “left” the church but no one knows about it and you are successfully avoiding detection.

    I, too, have been doing that for over 4 years.

    I was on lines at LA Org from late 1996 until the basics came out in the summer of 2007.

    Ever since I had discovered Scientology in 1970 and had experienced a tremendous win delivering Op Pro by Dup to my twin on the HQS Course, I had wanted nothing more than to become a trained auditor and to spend the rest of my days helping others to live better, happier lives.

    In 1996, I received an inheritance and plunked down $35,000 for my training package at LA Org.

    I felt so fortunate – at the time – that the Golden Age of Tech had just been released and that I was going to benefit from this wonderful new training lineup.

    I eagerly started on the Student Hat and for the next 11 years I attended course in the LA Org Academy EVERY weekend, only taking a break to go for an “OT Debug” on the Freewinds.

    You would think that I should have made it out the other end as a fully trained Class V auditor after 11 years of training but, sadly, no.

    Maybe on the “old” course checksheets this would have been the happy result but not so with the Golden Age of Tech.

    After 11 years of struggling, I had had enough. I routed myself to Qual and demanded a study debug session. This was duly delivered and I handled all of the upsets and frustrations that had piled up in the past decade of training. It felt GREAT!!!

    I originated that I wanted to do the Book One course in Div 6 and just audit people without all the complications of an emeter, etc. until I had certainty that I could do this one simple action.

    It was while I was happily studying in Div 6 that the Basics came out.

    I had to start the Book One course all over using the new book, and of course I had to pay for the new course since the old one was no longer valid. I protested but no one wanted to hear it.

    I completed this course and was ready to return to my Academy training.

    Whoa, Speedy! Not so fast!

    I was informed that I would have to do ALL the Book Courses for ALL the books that been on my Academy Level checksheets. And, of course, I would have to pay for these courses.

    I grimly bit the bullet, flew through the courses and was finally ready to resume training.

    Ha! Dream on, Grasshopper.

    The course supervisor and the D of T now informed me that I had to do all the rest of the book courses before I could restart my auditor training.

    I protested, but to no avail. I was told that I really needed to do these courses in order to become a really good auditor. It was pure, unadulterated BULLSHIT. I stood there, looking at these two men and I just couldn’t believe what they were saying. And I KNEW THAT THEY DIDN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER!!! They had become nothing more than puppets, mouthing the words of someone else in order to sell more courses.

    At this point, I was DONE with LA Org. DONE. DONE. DONE.

    And, looking back, I think this was the turning point for me. I realized that it was all about money and had nothing to do with creating auditors. I decided then and there to leave and never come back, but I was smart enough to keep my mouth shut.

    I knew that I couldn’t just walk away from the church. I knew they wouldn’t “let” me. I knew that I would be hounded and possibly even declared if I didn’t keep signing up for the next course and the next course and the next course . . . .

    So I negotiated to have them let me transfer to the newly-formed Inglewood org which was only 10 miles from my home instead of 25 miles like LA Org was.

    I quietly disappeared from LA org and started on my next book course at Inglewood org, a tiny little org in a dingy storefront space. The carpet was dirty and torn and the “walls” separating the course room from the rest of the org were only black curtains hung on flimsy metal poles.

    After completing the next book course, I told the reg that I really wanted to do the Personal Efficiency course. No one at Inglewood Org cared what I did as long as I kept being a stat-producing student and income source for their org. The last thing they wanted was for me to go back to LA Org. And by this time, LA Org had forgotten about me, assuming that I was still on the basic courses.

    Just as I was completing the PE course, a whole “new” Book One course and DVD were released. I ran my eye over the checksheet for this new course and saw my “out”. At the end of the checksheet for the course was an “internship”. The newly graduated student was required to go out into the field and audit Book One on raw public for 6 months, after which time he was supposed to return and attest that he could audit the process with certainty.

    I went through all the motions, got through the course, made everybody super happy with yet another completion and left to do my 6-month internship.

    The time passed. I wasn’t missed. I’d done it. Escaped. And no stigma attached to my “leaving”.

    Eventually the OES at LA Org called me to see what was happening. She wanted me to come back and complete my training. I sadly told her that my eyesight had gotten so bad that I could no longer read an emeter. This was a blatant lie but because I am “elderly” and because I had maintained my credibility with everyone, this statement wasn’t questioned.

    She then tried to sell me something. I told her that I had no money and that all my credit cards were in collection. This was true. I had overextended myself when I had been pressured to buy the Congresses and the Basics. Then the economy had crashed and my job had gone up in smoke.

    That was the end of that.

    No more calls.

    I was out of the church and flying under the radar.

    BUT . . . I was still somehow a part of it.

    After 40 years (including 3 years in the SO), it was impossible to stop being part of it.

    I was saddened that I was no longer to be an active part of this group that I had supported and loved for so many years. I missed the friends I’d made while on course for all those years.

    Then, on Nov 10, 2010, someone sent me a copy of Luis Garcia’s 27 page letter which he wrote to David Miscavige declaring him a “full-blown suppressive person” and in which he states, “. . . I am hereby resigning from the Church of Scientology, because you have managed to hijack it and have turned it into a squirrel group.”

    At first I was in shock. Here was this OT VIII, extremely upstat Scientologist, attacking DM.

    But in his letter, Luis presented his case against DM very sanely, complete with specific LRH policy and how DM had grossly violated that policy. Everything he said made sense and aligned with what I had observed for myself since 1996.

    I started to “lurk” around the internet sites created by the independent Scientologists.

    I discovered the blogsites of Marty Rathbun, Mike Rinder and David St. Lawrence.

    I bought and read all of Marty’s books. Having been in the SO, I knew what Marty was talking about and I felt he was telling the truth. I too had left the SO because of the utter suppressiveness and insanity of it.

    Also, a good friend of mine had been uplines and had observed first hand a lot of what Marty writes about.

    I had known David St. Lawrence personally when he had run the mission in Redondo Beach. I admired and trusted David. I knew he really cared about helping people and that he wouldn’t have just walked away from the church unless there was a valid reason for doing so.

    I felt like I had found a new group of friendly people whose intentions and purposes aligned with mine regarding spiritual freedom.

    I still lurked.

    I had to.

    I had my own business and one of my main clients was a devoted Scientologist who was very active in the church. And he and his family were my good friends. I didn’t want to lose this friendship or the income from the business he brought me.

    So for 4 years – from Nov 2010 to Nov 2014 – I have been in the closet, not telling anyone that I have left the church.

    In Aug 2012 I took my first step to being an active “Indie”. I got in comm with Trey Lotz, an Indie field auditor, and asked him to send me the forms I needed to fill out so that I could get auditing from him.

    It took almost another two years to screw up enough courage to actually go and received a session from Trey, a declared “SP”.

    Wow! What an experience! No stops. No hassles. No pressure. Just pure theta and high ARC and tech being correctly applied. It was amazing!
    But Trey was located in LA and I had moved out the area. I couldn’t keep traveling up to LA every time I wanted a session. It was over 100 miles each way.

    I had read David St. Lawrence’s blogsite and knew that he delivered sessions via the internet. I got in comm with him and asked him how that worked and he explained it to me.

    On May 13 2014 I had my first session with David and it, too, was amazing. Very theta. Fun. Relaxed. We laughed a lot.

    David then asked me to write articles for his blogsite. He said that I could help many people by relating, in a humorous way, my experiences as both a public student and as a sea org member. He said that too many people were holding onto their upsets with the church and that I could help them to see the funny side of this whole mess.

    I started to write these stories under the pseudonym of Felicia Farnsworth. I had to be VERY careful about how much I revealed in my stories so that no one connected to the church would know who I was. I kept the stories light and silly. I’ve always preferred comedy to soap opera! Writing about my experiences in this way proved to very therapeutic for me. I heartily recommend it to all of you.

    However, I was still flying under the radar and it bothered me that I was being completely two-faced. My Scientology friend/client believed me to be a Scientologist in good standing and here I was, secretly ridiculing the church under a cloak of invisibility.

    Then my friend started serious progress on his bridge. This included hours and hours of objectives, even though he had completed his objectives years ago. I knew from my training that this was horribly wrong.

    My friend then went to Flag to get super power, and I could tell from his evasive answers to my questions about this cycle that he was not happy with the results.

    I felt like I was betraying him by not telling him where I stood and why. It was like watching someone drown while you are holding a life preserver in your hands. He may not want the life preserver but he should at least have it thrown to him.

    Finally, I was working on a project for him – writing up hats for every post in his organization – and things came to a head. Since his company is a WISE company, this meant plowing through the OEC volumes to get references for the hat checksheets. I was no longer in agreement with all the policy that LRH had written since I had seen how destructively it had been used by everyone in order to control people. I knew it was going to be used that way in the future. I hated the project and I hated myself.

    My personal integrity was at a new low.

    I got sicker than a damn dog. And I hadn’t been sick in years.

    I had to do something!

    I wrote a letter to my Scientology friend, telling him exactly where I stood regarding the church. It was a very caring letter in which I told him of my concern for his financial and spiritual well-being as long as he was connected to the church. I included a copy of Luis Garcia’s letter, hoping this would open his eyes.

    I also told him that I knew he would have to disconnect from me once the church knew of my position and that I would understand.

    Once I had sent this, I felt such tremendous relief!

    Now I didn’t have to hide anymore. Now I didn’t have to be careful about what I said in my blogs for David.

    I was free – truly free – at last!

    Free to fly ABOVE the radar!!!


    So who is Felicia Farnsworth?
    Hi, everybody – it’s me – Kathy Elliott!

    * * * * * END QUOTATION * * * * *
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« Reply #166 on: January 13, 2015, 06:32:53 AM »

                                                      Declaration of Independence
By Fred Haseney
January 10, 2015

On January 27, 1986, I attended the event at the Hollywood Palladium, in Los Angeles, California, in which David Miscavige announced the death of L. Ron Hubbard (“LRH”). By the end of the evening’s proceedings, I knew that I would never, ever attend another event sponsored by the Church of Scientology. I can’t say exactly why, but I knew that as I exited the Palladium’s doors that that would be the last Scientology event for me.This “Declaration of Independence” is being prepared in such a way so that the Ethics Officer (“EO”) responsible for issuing my “Suppressive Person (“SP”) Declare” or “Declare and Expulsion” will know that my stats have been up, and that I should be helped, not harmed.I got into Scientology in 1977, as the result of a good Body Router’s efforts, in Salt Lake City, Utah.I got out of Scientology* in 2014, as the result of the late Mary Sue Hubbard’s estate going on the market, in Los Angeles, California.

I have Tony Ortega’s “Underground Bunker” to thank for enlightening me as to what’s been going on in $cientology for about the last twenty years (note to EO: the fact that someone outside the church has devoted almost two decades of their professional live to exposing $cientology’s transgressions should be proof enough to anyone that something is wrong with the church).

In late 2014, I heard on the radio that Mary Sue Hubbard’s house in the Los Feliz district of Los Angeles had gone on the market. Since I live nearby, I checked for that property’s address on the Internet. I innocently Googled the address request, and tumbled head-first into “The Bunker,” where I got an Instant Hat on what life is all about outside $cientology.

A note to the EO: I didn’t intend to search the Internet for “$cientology”; my Google search only asked for the address of Mary Sue’s house. I know I’ve been told to stay away from the Internet; before last August, I admit it, yes, I did look at a few things online that weren’t “official” $cientology websites, but I didn’t look at them in any depth and quickly left those web sites, whatever they were.

Through “The Bunker,” I learned how $cientology had mistreated Class VIII, OTVIII, Trey Lotz, who had been very influential in my life in 1979. Then, I read former Flag Ship Service Org Captain Debbie Cook’s e-mail sent to thousands of her fellow Scientologists for 2012. While I’ve never been a Flag public, I could not question or doubt the validity of Ms. Cook’s message about how twisted $cientology has become.

Later, I read the heart-breaking Declaration of Independence written by Cindy Temps, a friend of mine with whom I shared the American Saint Hill Organization’s (“ASHO”) Specialist Course room in the mid-1980’s. Someone declared Cindy “Suppressive” and created the “disconnection” that has separated her from her children, Melissa and Alan? You’ve got to kidding me! Cindy is one of the sweetest, most helpful and knowledgeable people I’ve ever had the pleasure of sharing a course room with.

Through “The Bunker,” I began taking notes while reading emails, blogs, Declarations of Independence, watching testimonies on YouTube, and, through my research, I began to realize that something is very wrong with $cientology.

OTVIII is a feather in the cap of anyone who has made it that high in $cientology; $cientologists at any level have placed a high value on such an accomplishment. The results of my online research, however, revealed that $cientology sees little value in an OTVIII because many of them have been declared an SP and/or have left $cientology altogether.

My research also revealed how vital it is to $cientology to get rid of, to offload, to expel, to Declare SP, virtually anyone who ever worked for, with or has been trained by LRH. My notes also informed me that many, if not most of the top-ranking officials in the Church of $cientology are missing; their offices empty. Many of these executives are unaccounted for; some are rumored to be in $cientology’s in-house, inhuman prison in Hemet, California, called “The Hole.”

A request to the EO: please look for yourself at the number of ex-high ranking $cientologists who are no longer in the Church who are now speaking out against David Miscavige’s empire, including Marty Rathbun, Mike Rinder, and Karen de la Carriere.

And then there are the public $cientologist testimonies. Through these, I learned the facts behind Flag’s “6-Month Checks” for $cientologists on the upper levels of auditing. I worked for two angry and sometimes evaluative and invalidative $cientologists on said upper levels. I’ve witnessed the rage incumbent in such a “stellar” level of $cientology, and only now do I acknowledge the frustration that my former bosses must have faced as they tried their best to get through their respective $cientology levels, despite the barriers laid at almost every turn.

My research revealed alteration after alteration of LRH Standard Technology. I now doubt the validity of: The Basics books package; the Golden Age of Technology (“GAT”); GAT II. Yes, I’ve only read and heard about it online, but I also seriously doubt the validity in canceling countless Clear certificates. I’ve heard and read about the horror stories of $cientologists made to, basically, redo the Bridge from the bottom up.

What is up with the feeding frenzy perpetrated by the International Association of $cientologists (“IA$”) and the International Landlord Office (“ILO”)? Since when is it a public person’s responsibility to purchase the building that they’re going to be serviced in? Hey, ILO, are you crazy? Between the IA$, ILO and associated entities in $cientology, it has become drastically and dramatically more important to spend a public person’s money on anything except $cientology training and counseling. You ought to be ashamed of yourselves.

In 1977, I did various courses including the Communication Course and the Hubbard Qualified Scientologist (“HQS”) Course; it was on the co-audit of Opening Procedure by Duplication that gave me my first glimpse of life in the spiritual realm. As a result, I become a bonafide Scientologist.

In 1977, and while I read LRH’s book, A History of Man between the Comm Course and HQS, the FBI raided Church of Scientology offices in Los Angeles, Hollywood and Washington, D.C. When a relative suggested that I get out of Scientology, Stu Gelb, a Course Supervisor, showed me the LRH reference on Handling the Dangerous Environment. I applied what I learned; my relative never again questioned my religious affiliation, and we stayed on very friendly terms as always. In hindsight, though, why didn’t I look further into the reason behind those raids? Originally from New York state, I had headed west that summer as a writer, determined to find out what makes other people “tick.” Along came Salt Lake City and Scientology, a philosophy that explained those “ticks,” and, when applied, showed results.

A note to the EO: I’m about to write my contributions to $cientology; please note the “up” statistics.

In 1977, I joined the Sea Organization (“SO”) and moved to Los Angeles to work at ASHO. At that time, a fence surrounded “The Complex,” the group of buildings that would become the future home of the Los Angeles Organization (“LA Org”), ASHO, the Advanced Organization of Los Angeles (“AOLA”) as well as a multitude of $cientology organizations dedicated to serving themselves (the orgs that handled berthing, housing, food, management, etc.).

My first day in the SO became an all-nighter in which we finished the renovations of LA Org so it could be opened. I then went to work on renovating ASHO, from the beginning to the very end of that project. I began the SO as a member of the Estates Project Force (“EPF”), the team of about 200 new SO recruits who helped renovate the Complex.

Through this first time in the SO, I never made it to ASHO, who traded me with someone else from Cedar Estates Services Organization (“CESO”); “traded” because I had spent too time on the EPF. At one point as an EPFer and during an auditing action, I attested to “Keyed-Out Clear,” a “state” that the Church abandoned in 1978. But, between that and the handling by Trey Lotz in 1979, I knew that without a doubt, Scientology had completely changed my life (and for the better, that is).

While at CESO, I worked in the galley (the kitchen); we fed the staff at the Complex. In 1978, I served the staff and also washed pots and pans. During this time, however, I witnessed one of the backfires of $cientology: I saw dozens and, perhaps, hundreds of good SO staff mostly erroneously assigned to the Rehabilitation Project Force (“RPF”). People I knew at ASHO were suddenly dressed in blue, unable to speak to me, and worked long hours cleaning and renovating the Complex (they even had their own kitchen unit).

At the end of 1978, I received an okay to route out of the SO, and returned to public life. In early 1980, I accepted a SO amnesty and rejoined the SO, this time joining ASHO, the first org of my choice when I signed up in 1978.

While at ASHO, I worked as the Director of Promotion and Marketing, in an office with Patricia Kettler Foster, the editor of the Auditor magazine, who would later become a Declared SP. Because of my association with her (I worked with her only once), a Committee of Evidence convened. Convinced of my guilt in contributing to the waste of $20,000.00, a fellow staff member actually tripped me in the hallway; spiritually deflated, I left ASHO without authorization; I blew and returned to Salt Lake City.

A note to the EO: that staff member, Patricia Kettler Foster, and I were billed $10,000 each for the distribution of a minor Auditor magazine filled with typographical errors. To the best of my ability as an EPFer who should never have been promoted to an actual SO post (after being “forced” to do it behind closed doors by two senior ASHO staffers), I proofread the type for that Auditor’s publication. Five years or so later, someone from the Commordore’s Messenger Organization (“CMO”), while pulling strings and doing follow ups on written reports that included the names of ASHO staff from 1980, interviewed me, indicating that Patricia Kettler Foster may have been solely responsible for those typographical errors. She had measured the font size of the Auditor incorrectly; the printed material from the typesetters which I proofread came to her too large, and so she had to cut the copy down to size.

I remember seeing words, sentences and even complete paragraphs laying on the floor around the Auditor Editor’s feet; type that never made it into that issue.Two weeks later, I contacted the EO at ASHO and later, through the Guardian’s Office (“GO”), I worked through lower conditions for having left ASHO unannounced; later, I paid my Freeloader Debt in full and became a Scientologist in Good Standing. The first job I had: night clerk at Atlas Natural Foods a few miles east of the Complex. Melanie and Johnny DeCrescenzo owned Atlas,which also operated as a Purification Center where we delivered the Purification Rundown.I began seeing professionally Cleo Warner, a counselor at the Scientology-owned Ability Expansion Programs; with her husband, we moved to New Port Richey, Florida.

The business we were going to start didn’t happen as soon as she expected, so I moved to Clearwater where I worked at Peter Gillham’s Nutritional Center in the Old Gray Moss Inn, across the street from Flag. I also worked at the World Institute of Scientology Enterprises International (“WISE Int”), where I helped get their financial audits in Division 3 in running order (I qualified for this type of work because I had good stats from similar work down at the GO and at ASHO, when I worked in their Income departments to put similar records in order and to help other Scientologists pay off their Freeloader Debts).In the mid-1980s, I moved back to Los Angeles and worked again for Atlas Natural Foods until Johnny’s unexpected death. Melanie closed the store and joined LA Org staff (she would later marry Nick Lekas). I began working, part-time, for Scientologist Murray Gould’s American Pretzel Company, and did so for at least the next decade....

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« Reply #167 on: January 29, 2015, 06:47:33 AM »

                                                           Zac Hopkins has left the Church of Scientology.
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« Reply #168 on: February 09, 2015, 07:34:59 AM »

                                                     The perfumed bubble bath bottle turning point

It was January 2000.

After twelve years into Scientology, seven of which as a staff in a class V Org, I was really pissed off by the obvious inconsistencies of the Church, of the Tech, of the Policy and by the required permanent war-mindset. My dad and my mom were gone and I had no close family members left, I was alone and I had no more money.

But at that really low point in my life I had a lucky strike and a safety boat came in the form of an inheritance.

After having cashed my money (enough to survive for a while) one day I took off and vanished from the org and changed city.

After seven years spent as an Auditor, breathing Scientology 24 hrs a day for 365 day a year, I was suddenly out in the real world for good.

I remember how big the things of the "outside world" seemed to me. My "anchor points" had been pressed into my head in the self mumbling world of Scientology for a long time and now I was finally free to let them go.

For almost two years I struggled to reinstate myself in the real world, both psychologically and work-wise, and finally I worked that out.

So what about the bubble bath bottle?

I remember vividly one day in February 2000. I was in my first weeks of freedom and I was with a rediscovered friend of mine, that at the time I still saw as a complete "wog".

I was out but in reality my mindset was still "in".

We were taking a stroll when that friend of mine told me to wait him while he entered a Body Shop to buy a perfumed bubble bath bottle.

I remember that I thought: "A PERFUMED BUBBLE BATH BOTTLE??? We have a world that is collapsing by war, insanity, poorness, pollution, out-ethics. We have people that are unaware of their true spiritual identity, we have PTS and SPs .. and all you can think about is a damned BUBBLE BATH BOTTLE????"

Obviously I didn't tell him my thoughts, but I felt really disgusted by his "wog" attitude.

I was used to talk with "warriors" that despised the softness of life; we as staff considered good food, good rest, free time and even body hygien as superfluous optional in our war to free mankind.

At the same time we as staff members despised the publics that were not on our wavelenght.

"I have to go to see my parents", "I have to go home to stay with my family", "I have to go to the hairdresser", "I have to go to theatre with my friends" were sentences that made us horrify because they meant less time in Academy or in session or in the reg's hands.

If half of the dedication we had at the time - as staff members - were spent on real helping activities I think the world would be a better place. Unfortunatley it was not so.

It took me a long time to regain my senses.

In fact that "wog" friend helped me way more that all scientologists I had known in my life. Real help from scientologists is very rare, partly because all of them have constant money problems, partly because they are indoctrinate to become selfish.

This no to say that scientologists are the only selfish people in the world, but their training strongly supports selfishness.

So we came to the present: year 2014. Last week I bought Christmas gifts for my friends: books, food and even some fine bubble bath bottles!!

The perfumed bubble bath bottle turning point is now done!
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« Reply #169 on: March 08, 2015, 06:38:06 PM »

                                                Just registered today and here is my story.  From ESMB. Link below.

I was an SO member for 17 years, and it has been quite a few years since I am out. But
only recently, actually, its only been since yesterday, I realized the ill intent of LRH and others in on this
absolute brilliant deception, which is Scientology. It has perfect control mechanics, disguised as standard

Scientology is so convincing, that discovering its true nature, has been like pealing an onion. I think i've been
pealing the onion, for several years now, sometimes even putting a layer or two back on, as i couldn't face
the truth, not only because of how important i held Scientology, but how much i was not willing to accept to the
degree I had been duped, and to conceive that people could be so evil and debased to carry out such a crime, year
in and year out, People I held at such high esteem, are actually worse than any "SP" I've ever hard off before.

It actually took me 8 years, yes, 8 years on and off, before the bad dreams totally subsided, dreams of being under
ethics, being judged so harshly under sever pressure. That feeling of being looked upon so disdainfully. You see i had
a history of wanting to leave, I wanted to leave many times, but actually communicated it about 6 times. Other times I'd
convince myself to stay. The reason I kept staying stemmed from my own conviction of doing the "greatest good"
and the other hard working staff,I didn't want to put more weight on their shoulders. I hated the pressure one goes
through, when one communicates they want to leave, but that was never the reason I did stay. I endured 3
months of routing out. I get secondaries after seeing pictures of flag interiors, lol.

I wish to help in the effort of getting the truth to SO members.

I also wish to find friends who where SO members at Flag.
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« Reply #170 on: March 30, 2015, 07:28:36 PM »

                                                From 2013.

                                                               Is Scientology Self-Destructing?

Scientology leader David Miscavige has been trumpeting his church’s “milestone year,” but the mysterious religion is alienating scores of its most faithful followers with what they call a real estate scam. With anger mounting and defectors fleeing, this may be more than a fleeting crisis; it may be a symptom of an institution in decline.
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« Reply #171 on: June 24, 2015, 04:32:56 PM »

                                                                       Why I Left Scientology
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« Reply #172 on: January 17, 2016, 08:28:03 PM »

                          LeBust: Scientology's dark tower on Chestnut Street

A DARK TOWER ON Chestnut Street was the beacon that David Braverman said he needed to navigate his way out of the Church of Scientology.

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« Reply #173 on: March 09, 2016, 07:15:07 AM »

                          Exit from PAC BASE - PART 1

    This WE I was watching a documentary about abuses and people being locked inside room for days, weeks, months.
    That made me think of my EXIT from the PAC BASE. This is my story but many did get through the same Exit.

    1. When I was seen in Ethics, by my Ethics Office, the PAC Security, I was told that I was going to sleep in a room alone. This meant, I was being put on WATCH ! Someone from HCO was outside all night long to make sure I was not going to run away.
    2. I was in that room for about 1 month. I could go out on the stairs few minutes a day.
    3. I was then put into an auditing room (One near the Security Guard office). I was not allowed to go out. I was staying in there from 9 am til 10 pm. This went on for 2 months. My food was brought in there, I was told to write my Overts and Withholds. Every time I tought I was done, I was told to write some more... It went on to a point where I was kind of "making up overts and withhold". I had write over 1000 of them.
    4. After those 2 months, I was put inside a room in the basement with some others who were going out. I did not know they were so many. About 20 people. We were made to read books, listening to lectures, write more OW...
    5. I moved from that room to a doorm with the guys getting out. There was also a doorm for women. We were all in there at night, speaking, reading, nattering...
    6. One guys had been there for 1 year and was still not out.
    7. I waited 3 more months to start my Sec Check. Proccess to get out of there.
    8. After 10 sessions, I thought I was done... I was again being SecCheck... it went on and It was going nowhere. bugging...
    9. I Waited another 3 months for my Comm-Ev... which one lasted 1 more month.
    10. We were not allowed to go outside, but stay in that room all day long. The only place we could go was on the stairwell to get some space above LA.
    11. My auditing went wrong and was assigned a new auditor. It took again weeks...

    In the meantime some people were going, happy to finally be OUT ! Those guys had been there 8, 9, 10 months or 1 year 1/2...

    When I left, I had been there for 10 months... Looking at it now, I was soooo brainwashed that I agreed with it. Now, I would have ran out... and tell them to get F---.
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« Reply #174 on: March 10, 2016, 07:14:38 AM »

 Re: Exit from PAC BASE - PART 1

    Why not, going over Part II :
    When I left, I had nothing except $500 which was given by the Co$ My family paid for my plane ticket, I was living at my mother's place for 6 months. I got a laptop from one of my family member... I had nothing, did not know what to do except reconnecting to my family. I had been pretending to work to salvage this society, this world
    Then I started to meet some people, nice people, real people with their head on their shoulders ! It was finally fun to be with REAL people !
    One of them asked me what I wanted to do, I was not sure and she gave me some ideas... Oh ! WOG knew what to say in fact Scientology is sooo much into their stuff that they forget that some REAL people exist.
    Then I trained for 2 years in a domain I did not know. It was fun... I found a job to get this training into practice. I love it and my boss was pleased with my work.
    In between, I got some email from CJC WUS asking me where I was standing with my A to E steps. I answered him... and it was going nowhere. I managed to get in communication with my ex wife who wanted to help me and to get through my A to E steps. I was happy to speak to her. Even if she was my ex wife, she was a very good friend.
    I went on the internet to found some old friend and found this website. My old login is 8-8008 euh !!! I lost my password and also the password for the email address I used for this website... And why now I am 8-8008ASHO
    I found some friends here... I travelled back to the US to meet those people. It was fun.
    I then decided to write a doubt condition and decided I was not part of this Co$ bullshit management. I mentionned it to my ex wife who disconnected from me. My kid disconnected from me, others did too.
    I wrote to CJC and told him the same.
    I found more friends on the internet whom I am in communication with.
    I found some people who are still in Scientology and they were so happy to have some news but the EO found out they were in communication with me so they disconnected because they were told to do so BUT wished they could still speak to me.
    In the meantime, as I mentionned it earlier in this thread, found a new girlfriend, got a little one who is now 4 years old, great job, bought a house... and travelling... and the BEST reconnected with the entire family and we are soooo happy, enjoying life.
    If anyone of you want to come over, in Europe, let me know, we can meet, make BBQ, visit stuff...
    Have fun and enjoy LIFE

    Well I thought about writing a book or few ones My experience in Scn, connected with Exec, reges, IAS... could be fun to write about. Well would take too much time ! Maybe get a blog... Will see with time !!!
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« Reply #175 on: May 28, 2016, 05:28:48 AM »

                                           Indie deprogramming document                          RolandRB

    I would like to free the Freezoners and Indies. The Indies are half way out in any case if they are ex-churchies. I have a deprogramming document that I have placed below but I can not read their minds and do not know what keeps them following Scientology when the very foundations of it are so absurd. Your insights would be valuable.

    What trapped you into the Scientology cult and what still keeps you trapped as an "Indie"

    1) Social acceptance and shunning
    Most of us like to feel we are accepted by our group. When we came across Scientology as
    a new group we were "love bombed" a lot so that we felt accepted. We formed friendships
    in this new group. Even relationships and then marriage and children. All of this held
    together with an implied adherence to Scientology. We know that if we fall out of favour
    with Scientology then we lose not only the acceptance of the group but we lose our friends,
    out spouses and the love of our children. This is more than people can bear and so we are
    careful not to fall out of line with Scientology. And when they ask for money for their
    schemes then we give them that money, even if we can not afford it, to keep is as an
    accepted member of the group and well regarded.

    2) Separation from normal society
    Scientology wishes to impose its methods on our lives and deny us access to the normal
    mores of society. We are encouraged to become separated from normal society. To do that
    then society is demonized in small ways. Like telling us it is all run by drug companies
    and psychiatrists. That the world is aberrated with people acting out their "reactive
    minds". That it is a "wog world" and the Scientology way of doing things is better. We
    are told that reading newspapers and watching TV exposes us to "entheta" and that we will
    be happier if we are not exposed to it. Scientology teaches us a different language that
    we can not use in the outside world so after a while we become separated from normal
    society and fearful of it. Our "safe" society becomes Scientology society.

    3) Repression of thinking, doubts and disagreements
    We may have thought when we were newly in that some parts of Scientology were wrong. To
    get around that they have to demonize thinking. So "thinking" becomes "figure-figure" in
    Scientology - a supposed activity of the "reactive mind". And because Scientologists want
    to go "Clear" and lose their reactive mind then they stop thinking and in so doing believe
    they are defeating their reactive minds. It is quite normal for people in society to have
    doubts. If you have doubts in Scientology and check on facts then they will lose you. So
    having doubts becomes demonized as "out ethics". To doubt is to be in a "Condition
    of Doubt" and this causes you to be shunned from the group until you have proven to the
    group that you have overcome this doubt. And there are punishments for disagreement. If
    you disagree then this means you have gone past a word you did not understand. So you have
    to pay for any spend tens of hours rereading all your Scientology material until you have
    found that word you did not understand. And there is always the e-meter to pick up on your
    disagreements with Scientology. After a year or so of this constant pressure you will cease
    to be able to be critical of Scientology. You will not even have any doubts nor be able to
    even think of anything that you are in disagreement with. And we are pressured to do course
    after course and we get so tired that we do not have the energy to think outside
    Scientology in any case. Everybody gets pressured to join staff. If you join staff and
    leave before your contract is up then there will be a huge freeloaders debt you think you
    have to pay. The trap is then complete. You can not leave even if you wanted to. You
    become a tool of the cult to trap in more people and you will work long hours for very
    little money to do just that. Add to that what is in your confessional folders. This is
    something you will not want outsiders to know about and whether it was the result of your
    imagination or not, this information can and will be used against you if the cult chooses
    to do so. The trap has been sprung and you are well and truly caught. You are now a slave
    to the cult and now it is your job to enslave new members.

    4) The hopes and promises
    We would all like immunity from colds and flu, perfect recall and immunity from accidents.
    This is the obvious positive benefits of why we joined. But the longer we stay in and
    "study" Scientology then gradually these obvious goals get replaced by other goals and the
    advantages we hoped for change. The goal posts get moved. The gains we hoped for that were
    promised to us change with time until we end up pursuing Scientology goals that we would
    never have bee interested in when we joined. The promises of Dianetics Clear was the bait.
    But then it got switched to Scientology Clear. And then if we ever got to Scientology
    Clear then we did not get the promised gains. Instead, Clear becomes s state where we
    realize we are mocking up our own reactive minds (bearing in mind that we had to be
    persuaded that there was such a thing as a "reactive mind") and our goals now become the
    powers that will open up to us on the OT Levels. Hubbard promised great things about the
    OT levels. On L12 he said that he would not let a person leave the ship unless they were
    stable exterior with full perception. This was a sky high goal. Of course, for those who
    parted with all that money, there was no such state to be attained. Scientology always
    dangles the carrot in front of us and when we reach what we have striven for the goal
    disappears and the carrot has moved onwards.
    If even 5% of the promises of Scientology were true then they would have a huge following.
    The reality is that much less than 5% is true. More like 1%.

    5) OT Powers
    Nobody has gotten OT powers from Scientology auditing in any form even after more than
    fifty years of trying. From time to time some strange things might happen but this is the
    case from religion and new age practices of all sorts. There is nothing special about
    Scientology in this regard. Out-of-body experiences used to be common in early Scientology,
    especially with the "Book and Bottle" process (Op Pro by Dup). This was an extremely
    repetitive and boring process and it would be no surprise if this had a dissociative mental
    affect on people if continued for many hours or days. People from all walks of life and all
    religions have religious experiences from time to time and believe they have transcended the
    limitations of the normal world. But NONE of these people have an ability that can be
    demonstrated on demand. If anybody had such an ability then surely the Randi million dollars
    would have been won a long time ago.
    Why not put this to the test? You will know a number of people who claim they are OTs
    and are stably exterior from their body. If this is the case then they should be able
    to read playing cards placed at the back of their heads using their thetan vision or
    telepathy or something. Ask to test it on one of these people who make the claim of
    being stably exterior. None of them will oblige because they know they can not do this.
    Belief in OT powers and the belief that one day that they will be yours to command is
    one of the things keeping you trapped in Scientology. Putting it to the test will
    disabuse you of this belief.

    6) The Axioms of Scientology
    Scientology "appears" to be scientific because it is based on axioms. But these axioms
    are starting off points rather than self-evident truths. If Scientology followed a
    scientific approach then there would come the opportunity to establish these axioms
    as truths but nobody has attempted to do this. The case in point of testing supposedly
    stably exterior people if they can read a playing card placed at the back of their heads
    is something that could have been tested. If they can read the cards then people would
    feel justified in the idea that a thetan was something separate from the body and is
    just using the body. But this fundamental building block of the system of thought has
    never been tested and never will be because people know that it would fail.
    You maybe think that because Scientology appears to be scientific then it holds some
    validity and is perhaps more "advanced" that other religions or belief systems. However,
    it is not following a scientific approach and is not honest science. The axioms are
    just being used to dress a sham.

    7) The Axioms of Dianetics
    Dianetics has a set of axioms as well and yet Dianetics is dropped in favour of
    Scientology very early on in a person's "processing". No more will you hear about the
    moments of unconsciousness where words command you. It is all unceremoniously dropped
    in favour of Scientology processing at twenty times the cost. If the axioms are good
    for Scientology then why do they get dumped for Dianetics in favour of a more expensive
    form of processing? This should make you think.

    8) Past Lives
    If you could genuinely remember past lives then there would be something of value you
    could sell to the world. If you had studied science at school in your past lives then
    you could come up with the design for a home nuclear fusion generator or an eternal
    battery or some such other obvious useful device. Even if all your past lives lacked
    a science education and you were a soldier or a slave for all your past lifetimes then
    there would still be something you could sell like card, dice or board games that you
    could remember and market today. Instead, there is nothing useful from anybody who
    claims to remember past lives. One might conclude that all these supposed past life
    memories are a fabrication.

    9) Past Lives doing Scientology
    If you are an "Indie" and remember "past lives" then at some stage you will remember
    past lives in "Scientology" or some such other system and will have encountered L. Ron
    Hubbard and/or David Miscavige in your past life efforts in working towards some sort of
    religion to free Mankind. I am happy to let you know that you are not that stupid. If this
    were the case then Scientology or whatever it was known as in your past lives would have
    been put on a scientific foundation (i.e. axioms that were proven) millions of years ago
    and from your past lives you would know what was proven and how to prove it to put the
    religion on a firm scientific basis. Oh, but you were not on tech lines! You didn't have
    the tech explained to you because you were too busy helping in other ways. Same for all
    Indies here now. None of them here were tech people so they don't know about what tech
    works. Hubbard did but for some odd reason, he got nothing to work so maybe he was full
    of shit in his past life the same as he was in this one.
    The reason you have these "memories" is because through doing "auditing" your brain has
    learned to fabricate them.

    10) How thetans got tricked and enslaved by meat body societies
    L. Ron Hubbard described the "principal incidents" that got thetans trapped. Just Google
    "incident Scientology wiki" and read up on "Aircraft Door Goals", "Bear Goals",
    "Gorilla Goals", "Train Goals" and others. Think of the logistics of this. Think of the
    industry required to accomplish this in the millions and how thetans somehow did not twig
    on that anything was wrong. How many aircraft fuselages on the ground would be needed to
    implant millions or billions of thetans? How would it be kept a secret from other thetans?
    Same with the "Bear Goals" and "Gorilla Goals" with the Hoi Poloi in striped funfare
    attendent shirts somehow strapping thetans into their seats before they take a ride and
    get zapped by electronic explosions to give them opposing commands. Just what does it
    take to get your "bullshit alarm" to go off?
    Quite apart from the nonsense story and the impossible logistics then think of how much
    money it would have cost to engage in such an activity. This is funding a civilisation
    at war. Somebody would have leant that money and wanted back payment with interest. But
    there would be no financial benefit from this activity so it does not make sense.
    And if a civilisation is that militaristic then if thetans were real then would they not
    be useful for spying on their enemies?
    Children playing with dolls spontaneously create better stories than this one. That you
    accepted this as truth implies you have weaker minds than children. Were you like that
    before you got into Scientology?

    11) Xenu and body thetans
    If you accepted the story of Xenu and body thetans then this should be a strong indicator
    that your mind has become weakened by doing Scientology. This story that adults believe
    in in Scientology is something to be laughed at by children. It is just such a weak and
    absurd story. The logistics of the movement of bodies across space with people not
    noticing people disappearing after their income tax audits is clearly absurd. The
    placement of bodies round volcanoes, some of which did not exist 75 million years ago
    and the logistics and infrastructure to accomplish this is absurd. If the bodies were
    "frozen in alcohol and glycol" then why not dump them all on a frozen body in space like
    Pluto? Each solar system likely has an ice belt so dump them there. The story is absurd
    and weak beyond believe. It is fourth rate science fiction sold expensively as spiritual
    truth. An mentally competent adult human being should be ashamed of themselves for believing
    such puerile nonsense.
    And what of the body thetans? How come they can be Cleared in seconds if we are the boss
    thetan and it takes us years? If they are real then you could send them somewhere to report
    back on what is there. You could set up a very successful line of espionage if they were
    real. You can't because, of course, they are not real. I know some Indies think that
    something like the Xenu story happened but maybe did not happen as Hubbard described but
    they go on to audit out their body thetans for hundreds or thousands of hours without
    anyone in more than fifty years establishing the validity of these body thetans.
    If you consider yourself to be mentally competent then do not let the human race down
    by believing in and practising such nonsense.

    12) The wasted years
    It may take twenty years or more and hundreds of thousands of dollars wasted before a
    person realizes that Scientology has not given them what they wanted out of life. They
    will never get that twenty years back. If the person is an intelligent person then they
    will not want to allow themselves to feel the shame of all those wasted years of their
    life. They will not see Hubbard as a liar and a con man who duped them out of their money
    and the best years of their life. It is better for their own pride if they carry on down
    the same path and justify their sacrifices. These are now your leaders and "tech terminals"
    in the Indie movement. Hopefully, you can face your decisions of the past with more honesty.

    99) The "Wog World" needs you back
    You were once a part of the "wog world". Your good intentions got you into Scientology.
    I hope you spend time thinking through the above points and see what is keeping you
    stuck in Scientology and so break those chains. The "Wog World" needs your good intentions
    and your efforts in making this world a better place and I hope that one day you will
    rejoin it.

    Copyright (C) Roland Rashleigh-Berry, May 2013. Permission is granted to anyone to
    reproduce this in any form so long as the original is used plus this copyright notice
    displayed with it.
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« Reply #176 on: July 18, 2016, 08:13:59 AM »

                                                                    Martin O. here


    Martin Ottmann here. I have been active on WWP and I've been lurking here for a number of years too but never had the intention to join ESMB. Until now.

    Here is my short bio:

    Public member: 1989 - 1990
    Sea Org/FSO: 1990 - 1992
    active critic (ars/media/government witness): 1993 - 2003
    retirement: 2004 - 2010
    back from retirement/WWP: 2011 - now

    I hope to be able to contribute something meaningful to the general discussion.


In 1996 I provided an affidavit for the infamous Steven Fishman. He had filed a complaint against RTC and CSI in Los Angeles and needed some testimony to prove that DM was the managing agent of Scientology. So I wrote an affidavit about my experiences with SCN, the FSO and my few encounters with RTC and DM. Nothing extraordinary.

It is here:

My English was not that refined.

It's true. One day I was at the WB building to deliver some reports on program targets to the Flag Rep FSO and behind a closed door I heard the then CO FLB Janet Herring screaming at Debbie Cook on how the stats of the FSO were a disgrace.

I have to admit that I felt some satisfaction over the fact that Debbie obviously got reamed too from time to time.
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« Reply #177 on: June 27, 2017, 07:55:30 AM »

                                    Was in for 10 years, left quietly 5 years ago.

    Hi! Thought I would share my story (albeit in very vague way to protect my selfish self). I like reading people's stories of leaving and although this forum is for everyone, I don't see enough of these! Seems mostly for people who left decades ago or who were never really in. I was IN. Born in, on staff, all my friends are in, employers, family etc etc

    By the time I was 21 years and actually started doing purif, objectives, drd, m1 and other auditing (after 4 years on staff) this was when I ran into serious trouble. I went out of my mind because I wasn't making any gains from auditing. $18,000 in and regressing seriously from tonnes of stupid auditing suggestions from a baffled c/s and it dawned on me that Scientology just isn't true for me. I told my friends over 4 years ago that I wasn't interested. Some didn't care, some stopped talking to me because 'they couldn't help but read why people leave Scientology' (Fuck off please). Sorry if I can't swear, it's just unbelievable to me in hindsight that people I have known for 10 years think I'm some db, pts/sp, low toned bla bla fucking bla : /

    I was pretty chill about it and all and tbh I still am considering the time and money wasted. But then I watched Going Clear and Leah Remini and now I'm slightly pissed. I will never act on it because of my large circle of friends although this has shrunk significantly since watching these shows. I try to stay chill but it can be very hard when my friends tell me they were giving off a withhold about masturbating the other day LOL I literally just say 'that's not an overt love'.

    Anyway, feel free to comment. I have so, so, soooooo many stories. But I can't give too much away. xx
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« Reply #178 on: September 03, 2017, 12:46:38 AM »

                                             A new defector leaves Flag in dramatic fashion

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« Reply #179 on: January 17, 2018, 05:37:54 AM »

              Finally saying hello and would love feedback

 After having been "out" for 17 years, in for 30 previously, it seems the brain washing and ridiclous ideas I bought into have no more "left" me than I have grown another head. I thought I had somehow left the pesky influences that captured me, kept me on a treadmill within the organization for 30 plus years.

Short update: My life is at a crossoads. I seem to have inexplicably ended up in a culdesac, and wondering WTF and how did I get here. Googling around on the internet, I found a site by Terrance Gorski. It detailed hypnotism and mind control from the early ages. I realized that the explanations of hypnotism to explain what happened to me/us while under scientologys inflemce were more true and pervasive than I had ever acknowledged. thought Arnie was a bit "over the top", but am realizing he may not have been. I thought I was a pretty smart cookie-reading here for years, reading everything I could get my hands on to try and pull myself out of it. But I am realizing the idea that I was "free of them" ((OT 7 joke) is ridiculous. I am still drawn to the use of auditing to help me find and spot my problems, and would to this day love an L1C, or a good 53 to an fning list. This I just finally admitted to myself.
I seem to have NOT absorbed what others have done to eradicate and remove these viruses of the mind. Despite reading here, other places etc. It seems to be as varied as why any of us got in in the first place-which always seemed to me to be different from person to person. I do not want to "hook up" with any exs still practicing, and would love to hear what "deprogramming" techniques have worked (in their own estimation) for others.
Spot the times you violated your own common sense? There has GOT to be something beneficial reflection wise.
I am posting here now because I want to move forward and be a part of a community that is healing, not just standing outside looking in.
Mike and Leah are a tremendous testament to the fact one can regain their faculties.
I am doubting mine ever had time to develop and grow,having gotten in at such an early age.
So hello!
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