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Ontopic Discussion => Ex-scientologists and Freezoners => Topic started by: Ididntcomeback on August 14, 2012, 09:32:10 AM

Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 14, 2012, 09:32:10 AM
                                             SENSE OF WONDER

                                                    Part 1

                              The end and the beginning are the same

It is strongly recommended that one read "My story.  SENSE OF DOUBT"
before embarking on this next journey. It will be hard to make sense of any of what follows
without the perspective "SENSE OF DOUBT" ended with.

This will not be written by me. It will be written by "we."
Or more precisely, what "we" could be.

I have not the vaguest idea of what will unfold. All I know is that "who we could be"
has a pure desire to rescue us from who we are being.

 For the last three months I have been intimately connected to the worst of us.
I have had my very soul ripped out and spread in front of me in tatters.
But I held my space. I resisted every human instinct for self preservation
and viewed the world from the worst possible perspective.

From this, great wisdom has manifested.

All the lights in the world went off. Let me describe how magnificent they are as they come back on.

Come back here and we shall share the joy and wonder.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: knownunknown1 on August 14, 2012, 05:14:29 PM
Looking forward to know you better through your "Our story". Tx

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 15, 2012, 09:26:48 AM
Thanks knownunknown1. Hope this isn`t a waste of time.

                                    SENSE OF WONDER

                                        Part 2

                                      Wasting time.

It remains a mystery as to when the universe began. We appear to have imagined that understanding
how things began will somehow resolve the lost feeling we all share.

But it won`t. In fact it is the very act of connecting the dots of history that compound the lost feeling.

For in truth... in ultimate reality, there is no such thing as Time.
Time is made up, just like a story, or a paranoia. (Which turn out to be the same thing.)

Trying to put a `Time before time began` on a time line is the same as trying to see a smell.

So let us dissolve this story and dissolve time in the same instant.

The universe began now.
Everything that has ever happened, is happening or will ever happen is happening NOW.

There is no time. Time is a story, a paranoia, an illusion, a pretense.

And it ain`t easy to keep the time illusion existing now.

All of the stress and anxiety we endure is not our poor upbringing or our bad education.
It is energy spent on holding the illusion of time in our faces.

Holding the illusion of time in front of us is like holding a rubber band outstretched with our hands.
The more insistent we are about stretching the illusion of time, the more it will wear us down.

Every bit of tension we feel is not the circumstances we instinctively blame, but rather the effort spent in creating time to hold it in existence.

If one is to view life with present moment awareness it becomes apparent that the universe began now.
It and everything in it is in a state of perpetual beginning. There is no other time.

Time is a swimming pool that we can chose to place a toe in.
But being the drama addicts we are, we feel compelled to jump right in.

Of course what we are looking at here could be the illusion.
We could imagine that what is written here is wrong. And one day, in the future, a book will be distributed to school children explaining the truth about the origins of the universe.
But isn`t that just a projected illusion. Pure speculation. A day dream. And when did we project it?
In the only time possible... The eternal moment of NOW.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 16, 2012, 11:22:52 AM
                                              SENSE OF WONDER

                                                     Part 3

                                                Running out of time.

We have been sold a bill of goods called time. We have learned to accept it.
We grumble about it. We resent and protest it. But we have never considered returning it to the shop and demanding a refund.

Till we do, we are stuck with it. Like the appliance we bought that we monkeyed around with and are now too embarrassed to take it back for a refund.

What makes it even harder is that we have misplaced the receipt and suspect the warranty has run out.
And gee... no one else has taken their time share back.

What we will do now is take time back. We need to be firm about this.
The time salespeople know all the tricks. They will try to convince you that Time is real
and essential to your wellbeing.

But don`t listen to them. They may try to convince you that you will come to accept Time if you give it a bit more time.

They`ll tell you Time will grow on you.
They will remind you of the wonderful Times you have had.
They will say Time is precious.
They may get mad and accuse you of wasting their Time.

If you keep insisting, they may offer to take some time back, but accuse you of having too much Time
on your hands.

If we consult the encyclopedias, we discover that the experts have concluded that time is linear.
We have the big bang on the far left, then the dinosaurs, followed by an ice age, then cave men,
then, Rap music.

On our extreme right we have houses on Mars and a telephone that works.

Visualize this time line now. Hold your hands, palms together to separate the past from the future.
To your left we have everything that has gone before. To our right we have everything yet to come.
The crack between your hands is NOW.

By opening our hands we can visualize creating some NOW. We are pushing the future further off and pushing the the past back with our left hand.

If we focus and tune into this NOW space, we can NOW begin to perceive a vast untapped resource
which for now I`ll describe as "Pure potential."

Pure potential resides outside of time.  This is the realm of endless possibilities.

Don`t be surprised if we feel as if an unspecified force is now manifest within our hands.

Play with it. Stretch it. Feel our palms tingle.

When we feel it there, we raise our hands to the sides of our head (perception center) and simply
be willing to experience what happens.

Connect our breathing. In, out, relaxed...No pauses.

We may be asking...How long should we do this ?
If we do, we are still focused in Time.
When the question and the answer become one, we are NOW outside of Time and
no question or answer can manifest.

Interestingly the one thing that will prevent us from focusing our attention outside of time
is.......  lack of time. And of course if we make the time to do it, we are putting out fire with gasoline.

            "There is no time like the present."

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 16, 2012, 02:48:07 PM
                                           SENSE OF WONDER

                                                  Part 4

                                            Time is not on our side.

One might have cause to wonder why on earth anyone would want to be outside of Time.
Well what we find is that every single, significant, life changing occurrence happened outside of Time.
Everything else is pure  stimulus response.

Maybe we had the feeling that Time had stopped. But we know from experience that Time plods on like a
well oiled machine. So that surreal, magical, feeling was actually the sense of joy and wonder from hovering outside of Time.

Oh. So now we are starting to understand why we continued reading this. We knew there was something
unique here. Something that could lead us to who we could be.

When we pretend Time is real, we believe we are victims of it. Sentenced to stumble along on
its treadmill for all Time.

So for those who desire to stay inside Time, just realize what we already know..

Time is not on our side.
It is running out.
Time waits for no one.
Father Time is a merciless taskmaster.

For those who desire to be outside of Time.
Realize what we already know.

                There is no shortage of Time.
Time is the blank screen we write our story on.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 17, 2012, 09:41:25 AM
                                      SENSE OF WONDER

                                             Part 5


There are an infinite number of reasons why we cannot become who we could be.
However not a single one of them is relevant.

In deed, one spends their life magnifying the relevance of these reasons and re affirming them
with every thought. There is an unwillingness to see that our thoughts are our own prison.
We are imprisoned by what we think we are unwilling to experience.

Some try to imprison others by threatening others with what they think others are unwilling to experience.

Typically the people targeted are the ones that remind people they are in a prison.

The human experience is clinically what one calls institutionalized.

The rage one experiences on this subject is from a lifetimes experience of being force fed.

The desire to use drugs or alcohol is actually an act of protesting this force feeding.
It is an escape from the longterm effects of being force fed.

The reason we stay `who we are` instead of becoming `who we could be` is so that we can protest
against the force feeding. A desire for justice if you like...

There are an infinite number of reasons we remain `who we are` instead of becoming `who we could be`.

"I have cancer, I have an abusive partner, I have no education, I am physically sick. I am mentally ill,
I`ll wait till everyone else does it first, I am too old, I am too young, Everything is bullshit. I`m broke.
I am lazy. I`m too busy. It sounds spooky. I`m hooked on speed."

But let us realize that `who we could be` is unaffected by those and every other excuse `who we are`can create.

One can be a hundred years old on their deathbed, being drip fed morphine and still reconnect with who they could be.  As can we all.

Just one drop too many of force feeding and who one is being ceases to be.
Full pure potential is restored.

An apple falls from a tree with pure potential as its seed.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 20, 2012, 10:40:50 AM
                                             SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 6

                                               Cause over Time.

The whole human experience is from the viewpoint of being the effect of Time.
We see its effects in everything we focus on.
We even see its effect in the mirror.

We live with all our regrets. We see our ambitions receding as our time expires.

We can resurrect a time when we were full of life and optimism. Then we
resurrect a time since then when we felt older and tireder.

If we pause for a moment we realize that Time was an essential ingredient to every single experience ever had.

Time is the blank screen that we write our stories on.

The whole human experience can be summarized as being the effect of Time.

We are free to continue this tradition. We can continue to create being the effect of Time.
But we must carry that burden. Time weighs heavily on our human experience.

We can wait for time itself to expel us from its illusion. The illusion of time brings with it the illusion of death. Or we can withdraw our addiction to time NOW.

Some of us are frustrated by this subject matter. We demand to be able to know only that which is real.
We say, show us the evidence that Time is an illusion.

To those of us who need time to think about this we say " Point to time."
We ask those who believe Time is not an illusion to place some time here for us all to experience.

Where on the Atlas is time located?
In which laboratory can we inspect it?

All science can ever do is show us where it has been.

Interestingly even that we cannot view then. We can only view it now.
There is no Time. Time is an illusion.

We are the effect of that illusion.
It is now time to be cause over it. To achieve this we must see that we caused ourselves to be the effect of it.

We hold a pebble in our hand and believe that if we release the pebble from our grasp it will, given time, fall to the ground.

We will find great benefit from closing our eyes and holding an imaginary pebble in our hand.
Now we release the pebble and allow it to stay mid air. Withdraw our hand.

We can now remind ourselves of what being cause over time is. (Not was , or will be.)

Hold the pebble there till we feel at peace with it.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 21, 2012, 10:15:23 AM
                                                  SENSE OF WONDER

                                                           Part 7

                                                   The church of Time

Now we can understand that Time is a belief. Not dissimilar to a religious belief.

But if we look, we see that all Religions are cults that went mainstream.

To escape from a cult, or deprogram oneself, we have at our hands the same tools for
escaping the cult of time.

Just as a religious belief gives us a buffer between our vulnerability and ultimate truth, our belief in time
means we can figure it all out later. So long as we don`t think about certain things, we find a sense of security and bow down to Father Time.

Once we have recovered from the brainwashing `Cult of time,` we find ourselves outside the cult compound and have no need to wait to know ultimate truth.

Anxiety, paranoia, stress, worry, disappointment, guilt, regret, depression, fear, sadness, pain, tiredness, anger and hate have nothing to latch on to.

All that remains is Joy and wonder.

We see all suffering as self delusion.

The blank screen, like a baby crying, beckons us.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 22, 2012, 09:30:29 AM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 8


Time is the blank screen on which all indoctrination is written.
When we know this we see how insidiously time has been used to enslave us.

One is hard pressed to find any path to enlightenment that does not have Time as
the magnet to keep one from being enlightened.

We see that philosophy has assured us that one day, if we conduct ourselves in a certain way
we too can be free like the deity that is enslaving us with this hogwash.

"One day we will reach such and such a state. One day if we work hard, and don`t eat pork, we
will sit at the right hand of the father. One day if we pay enough money we will gain super powers.
One day if we imagine someone has forgiven our sins we shall hear a heavenly choir and get to fuck angels.

Thousands of years of all the above not working is, apparently, no deterrent to new recruits.

In fact it is true that the more we believe that we will one day reach the end of the road on our spiritual quest, the more we sentence ourselves to forever remain on the road to enlightenment.

The stronger ones belief that enlightenment is over there, the more we imprison ourselves in an unenlightened state.

At this time we think of Mozart, who as a child was too uneducated to realize he couldn`t play the piano.

Likewise , we are enlightened ,but educated into believing we are not.

Just as one exits a cult one must remove themselves from the constant indoctrination and peer pressure.

This is done by taking ones focus off some imagined benefit on the horizon, and placing ones focus here and now. 

One can break free of `who they are`, and reunite with `who they could be` now.
Or one can wait till `who they are` is chewed up and spat out by the ultimate cult, TIME.

Either way ultimate truth cannot change. It cannot be `sheep dipped` in Time.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 25, 2012, 09:08:38 AM
                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                              Part 9

                                          I`m a believer

When we chose to believe that the illusion of time is real, we identify with the mind which reinforces our belief. Thus we are sentenced to have a past, which we believe is real. And of course if we believe it, it must be true.

We then spend the time we have created, passionately convincing ourselves that time and a past are real.
Yet if we demand of that past that it discloses its location to us, it suddenly becomes very stupid.

Our search for a "then" is in vein. The only thing we ever find is "now".

When our great minds discover a dinosaur bone, we imagine how it got there.
If we convince others how it got there, it becomes a collective imaginary reality.

Then we defend our imaginary bone story against all other possibilities.
We use terms like rational and logical and sense.

Yet every single thought, theory, hypotheses, and speculation about this imaginary bone is occurring now. 

Similarly, we can theorize, hypothesis, and speculate about our own imaginary past.

Typically we believe we are victims of our past.
"The reason I`m disadvantaged is because of a series of events that happened in my past."
Yet if we demand to observe these events, the believer of them is suddenly rendered stupid.

"Look. I know I killed a man. I`ve been sentenced to forty years. What other evidence do you need?"

"Look. I know I`m paralyzed... because of the accident."

" I can`t trust anyone. Because I have had so many bad experiences."

We are adamant that our past is real. We are victims of time.

We then sentence ourselves to carry our past with us, wherever we go.

The things in our past that we are unwilling to experience define us.

When we decide to become `who we could be`, `who we are` is reactivated.

We are trying to write on a slate that is already cluttered with what defines us.

The more we insist that what we have written on the slate is real, the realer it is.

Till it ceases to be real, we are sentenced to be who we are and remain so till time spits us out.

It is merely our belief in TIME that is our jailer.

For those who do not believe in TIME, "who we could be" takes over.

 Who we could be is pure potential. Unlimited possibilities. Creation.

When we meet "who we could be , we are inspired. We pay money to be in the presence of `who we could be`. We giggle and dance and throw our panties at the stage, as `who we could be` defies time
and restores our sense of joy and wonder.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 26, 2012, 01:07:10 AM
                                               SENSE OF WONDER

                                                      Part 10

                                               Tomorrow never comes.

Everything that is happening is happening now. Even procrastination.

Time is an illusion. In truth there is no Time. There is just now happening NOW.
To fantasize about a time in the future when evolution and technology have worked their magic, and all is well in the world, is pure folly.

As one zeros in on enlightenment, it becomes irrefutably clear that Time, past or future, are what is inhibiting enlightenment. Whether you are holding a sharp stick or a laser gun, it matters not.

Every manifestation of matter in this universe came into being as a manifestation of the TIME illusion.
We notice, if we look, that everything is on its way somewhere...And that takes Time.

So by being fully aware of now, one observes the universe, and all within it, as transparent.

Such consciousness renders the viewer, immune from having to go somewhere.

Full potential is restored.

All this can leave one, with a specific viewpoint, thinking enlightenment is difficult to achieve.
Whereas one who is enlightened has simply released thinking and difficult.

Existing in the time illusion is surviving in a never ending story. And every story, to hold ones interest, must have an uncertain outcome. Which manifests as anxiety and paranoia.

There is no escaping it. For in this universe, "no matter where you go...There you are."

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 28, 2012, 08:43:39 AM
                                                   SENSE OF WONDER

                                                          Part 11

                                                    Benefit as motivation.

Notice how in the TIME illusion one is motivated strictly by what ones perceives as being of benefit.
If one cannot perceive a potential benefit in pursuing something, one is left with an absence of motivation.

Why mow the lawn if doing so won`t make your perception of the lawn more pleasing to the eye?
Why take a shower if one doesn`t feel any benefit in being cleaner?

Why protest wars if peace isn`t perceived as being of greater benefit?

Yet, despite nicely mown lawns and clean bodies, and innumerable wars that have ended, we
have remained unenlightened. The lawns need mowing again, our bodies get all sweaty and dirty again
and new wars start up somewhere else.

One day we find ourselves sitting on the porch of an evening, listening to The Bee Gees, and drinking beer. We realize that all our highly motivated efforts have amounted to a hill of beans.

The lawn still needs mowing. We start to neglect our personal hygiene, and we just sigh when we see the horrors of war on the news.

Eventually we just go inside, lock the door and close the blinds.

Yet every activity we indulged in, every project we ever witnessed was motivated by a perceived benefit. 
In theory we should all be existing within a giant utopia.

The ultimate insult comes when we meet primitive tribes who exist as we did thousands of years ago
and they are happy and stress free.
They are glad when we take all our perceived benefits and leave them the fuck alone.

They don`t perceive any benefit in conducting themselves as we do, being motivated by perceived  benefit.

You may have noticed that all that we have been reading here, there is a distinct absence of benefit.

To perceive a benefit one must create TIME.

The popular logic is... "If I do this, then at some time there will be a benefit."

Example... "If I go on a diet, one day I will be slim.

If I rob that bank, then I will have lots of money.

If I invade Poland I will placate the relentless rage I feel in my soul.

If I pray to God and go to church, one day I will arrive in Heaven , trumpets will blow and I will
bow down to God and he will make me feel whole and I`ll know I was wise and chose the right religion.
Shame on those stupid Mormons who are burning in Hell."

If I take chemo, one day I`ll be bald and cancer free."

So the common delusion is one can barter their way to happiness and fulfillment.

I`ll do this and this and this. But I fully expect to be rewarded with that.

Everyone does it. So it must be right !!!

Enlightenment is perceived when one stops trying to trade something for it !!!


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 30, 2012, 10:52:35 PM
                                                  SENSE OF WONDER

                                                         Part 12

                                                   Deal or no deal.

We have been duped into believing that we can trade our life story for salvation.
No deal.

What all "religions" tell us is that our conduct here on this plain, has some significance in the grand scheme of things. And that we will be allocated Time to enjoy our reward, should we use our TIME appropriately.

Well that is true ....if you believe it is. But the moment you stop believing it, it ceases to be true.

Religion has tried to coax good behavior out of us so we can trade that good behavior for salvation.

We have fallen for it. Because it seems just.
Those who do good and never hurt others and say the right things and believe in the right God will be rewarded with TIME in Heaven. Maybe eternity. The presumption being that our behavior there will continue to remain beyond reproach.

And those of us who say the word "fuck" and steal and molest children and murder, and lead sinful lives will be punished for eternity. The presumption being that our behavior will continue to remain beyond repair. This terrorizes small kids and stupid adults into being good for a little time.

Yet this is how our minds make sense of the grand scheme of things.

But do you see that if there was no time, none of us would have any time to be good or bad?

But more to the point there would be no time for a trial and no time for anyone to judge us. Not even ourselves.  There would be no time for reward or punishment.

Let`s see if we can make this clear.

Think of something good you could do.
Now think of something bad you could do.

Okay. Your time starts now. Stop!!!

Notice you had no time to do either.

The only thing that permits any form of conduct, good, bad or indifferent, is TIME.

And the only judgment and sentence that could be handed down would also have to be made from inside the Time illusion. 

For any deity to take an interest in our petty lives, they would have to believe in the time illusion.
They would have to have bought into the idea that there is an uncertain outcome.
They would have to have something on the trading table.
They would have to have certain things that they are unwilling to experience.
They would have to be willing to be the effect of those things and thus define themselves.
They would have to be something specific with a specific viewpoint.

Do we happen to know any deities who fit that description?

 Do we need some TIME to figure it out?

Time will exist while we figure it out, and cease the moment we do.

Anytime we want to believe in something we always make the time to do so.

The things we don`t want to believe in, we never make the TIME for.

                          Believing in TIME creates the TIME for us to believe in it.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 01, 2012, 08:35:48 PM
                                       SENSE OF WONDER

                                           Part 13 a

                 Having fun with death and getting it on our C.V`s early.

A year ago I was laying in a hospital bed dying. Yet I was able to crack up virtually every health professional that was trying to figure me out.

I mention this just so you know I`m not talking about some glib theory. I was right there in the doorway
completely at peace.

It was something that I kept noticing when I read biography`s about people I admired.
So many of them had had near death experiences before they became interesting enough for me to be reading about them.

The subject of death has made more people stupid than American TV.

For thousands of years humankind has been threatened with it. Lives have been destroyed because of it.
And all the great minds that have spoken of it, and have themselves fallen victims to it, can be summarized thusly.

"It is a great mystery."

Bollocks !

Death simply doesn`t fit in anywhere on our C.V.`s

Attended Sutton Park Elementary School. 5 Years. Graduated with short trousers.
Attended East of Eden Intermediate School. 2 Years. Graduated with long trousers.
Attended West of the Wall High School. Graduated stoned.
Attended Smug University. Graduated bewildered.

Worked at Mc Donald`s for six months as a "Shift MANAGER. Twice chosen as `Staff member of the roster.`

Went $60,000 in Debt with student loans.
Traveled through Asia, and Russia. Learned to say "Help!" in twenty two different languages.
Took up extreme sports.


                    Endless blank pages follow this final entry.

"We`ll let you know."

Death is non sequitur to life.

Inspect this.... Life could be summarized as a long series of trying to make sense, followed by a
sudden and irreversible dose of nonsense.

And the experts say. Its all a big mystery.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 02, 2012, 08:53:44 AM
                                                SENSE OF WONDER

                                                    Part 13 b

                                                Death gives life a context.

We perceive a benefit. It connects with us on a deep emotional level. A mind is created to gather the wherewithal to fulfill this emotional desire. The object of our desire is made manifest.

But for that to occur we must disown something.

Think of a roulette table.
We place a bet on every number. And win our money back every spin of the wheel.
No profit. No loss.
In deed we conclude that it isn`t worth our time.
So now we disown all the odd numbers and own all the even numbers.
We put something on the trading table and create the time for the roulette wheel to spin.

We now have time and focus giving us interest and an experience.

The higher the stakes the more intense the experience. We have created a context which from within we get the experience payoff.

Now when we win it feels better than it did when we won our own stake back again every time.

More examples...

Imagine going to see a stunt man who sat in a stadium for an hour reading a newspaper, while risking a direct hit from a meteorite.

When you calculate the odds on this stunt man being hit by a meteorite during his death defying stunt, you lose interest and feel as if the stunt man is deluded.

What about the rich people who drive their flash cars through a testing station and pass their Warrant of Fitness every time without a hitch. They never get to experience the exhilaration experienced by the poor rust bucket owners when they finally get that sticker in their windscreen.

What has caused more frustration to the human experience than any other thing is this context underlying all experience.

By desiring a perceived benefit from an emotional experience, one must disown a portion of the context of the experience. One automatically creates an uncertain outcome. And that is what TIME is.

It`s what creates time. And it is an illusion.

We protest.... How are my circumstances a delusion. I`m hurting. If they were a delusion surely I could see through them and escape suffering.

But it is your desire that trapped you in the circumstances where you find yourself, but you are experiencing the part of the context that you disowned.

Simply re own the whole context and the delusion becomes apparent.

And if you can`t see how a delusion could run our lives just realize this.
We spend most evenings watching people pretend to be who they are not on TV.
We spend our nights running through corridors and finding Salvador Dali has decorated every room.

          Light can only exist when we disown the darkness.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 04, 2012, 08:35:45 AM
                                      SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 13 c

                                       Making up time

By contemplating a benefit we create TIME. We postulate that a benefit is to be experienced if certain
circumstances and experiences are overcome. For example, we as a species perceive that on the day that there is peace on earth and good will to all mankind, that some sort of Utopia will be realized.

So this logic creates the TIME for all the fights to be resolved and justifies why we are not living in that Utopia NOW.

On a more personal level, we have the logic that when some made up conditions are met, we will experience wholeness and lay on a beach sipping smoothies in complete rapture.

Knowing the above NOW one can see something that has escaped the attention of all philosophies and religions and Oprah. ... 

By postulating a benefit, we create a future and more importantly an identity to be there to perceive the alleged benefit.

That`s how we create the illusion of time. That is how we create our miserable selves.
Because until the benefit is realized we create a broken identity that needs something.

Just look at the evidence you are living that we accept as life as we know it.

Miserable identities banging their heads against what they don`t want all day long in the hopes that it will miraculously produce the imaged benefit that they do want.

Interestingly the moment one stops creating the sense of unfulfillment through a TIME manufactured perceived future benefit, one perceives fulfillment NOW and the perceived benefit is surpassed here and NOW.

The whole of human history is explained above. All the drama. All the suffering, all the disease, all the insanity, all the wars, all the addictions, all the religions..... all the TIME.

This is why enlightenment has eluded so many for so long.

This is why telling you about this is mind blowing.

I`m having to show you the binoculars you are looking through.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 08, 2012, 08:18:11 AM
                                                   SENSE OF WONDER

                                                            Part 13 d

                                                    Life as deprivation.

By perceiving a potential benefit, we at the same instant have created a sense of deprivation.
This has been the basis of life as we have created it. 
Perceive something exterior to ourselves which we desire to experience. Then unwittingly, but inevitably, we create deprivation.

This applies to every human endeavor from swatting a fly to living eternally in Heaven with God.

We perceive a benefit outside of ourselves and then experience being deprived of it.
Our unwillingness to experience that deprivation defines us.

So we create TIME to experience the deprivation we ourselves have created.
It is our sense of deprivation that creates the TIME to experience it.

LIFE is our story of deprivation.

Many a TIME beings have cried out in utter frustration "God... Why are you punishing me ?"

It is from this perspective that we try to find meaning and reason.
At these TIMES we would do anything to extricate ourselves from this LIFE that holds us in bondage.

Anything that is, except be willing to experience our deprivation.



A butterfly dies in Ethiopia, in the full knowledge that there is no deprivation other than denial.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 10, 2012, 10:53:46 AM
                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                                Part 13d 2

                                         But seriously folks

The instant one perceives a benefit, one has created separation.  "That is something I desire.
Therefore it is something I am not." Two identities are created. The haves and the have nots.
The haves become a projected fantasy. "If only I had that, I could experience it. Till then all I can do is dream..... Thus a mind is created. The mind yearns to serve by weighing up evidence and circumstances that can bring form to the desired manifestation.
The mind becomes fixated and obsessed by the barriers and obstacles between have and have not.

The gap between "have" and "have not" is the manifestation of TIME.

This explains why no time is wasted in acquiring the things we already have.

To see this we must lose something we already have. Now we will create the time to re acquire it.

Right now we can hold something we already have and try to create time.
We inspect the object and know that it is outside of time...Timeless.

Interestingly, if we simply register what we already have we escape the effect of time and find ourselves with a lack of wanting.

If we hold on to that lack of wanting, we find what we `have` extends far beyond what we thought we were deprived of.

See if you can get this...

    By being willing to experience what we have, we discover that it is only our unwillingness to experience not having what we don`t have that creates the illusion of deprivation.

For the deprivation is something that we have.

I know that reading this feels like being hit around like a golf ball. However it must be acknowledged that at least we feel as if we are on the green.

To sink the ball in the eighteenth hole one must, of their own volition, make the final putt.

It is only your precise question that will manifest your precise answer.

The question that will transcend all questions cannot be asked from inside a mind that is created out of a lack of benefit.

By sitting quietly in a distraction free environment for twenty minutes a day, while connecting ones breathing (In out in out...No pause.) one will gradually dissolve the illusion of wanting.
One will at the same time dissolve the mind. One will dissolve the identity that the mind uses to deprive its owner.

The mind is powered by your desire to manifest what you desire.

The mind itself solidifies and becomes serious in direct proportion to its experience at failing to bring you what you desire.

The age old modus operandi of the mind is to become so hard to live with that it is abandoned and
leaves its host believing in "Higher forces."

That desire, to believe in higher forces, creates a new mind which has victimization as its theme.

And from the perspective of victimization one perceives a benefit from being associated with causation.

But now one is separate from causation and thus TIME is created. And the mind fixates on bringing the causation of separation into manifestation and thus the experience of victimization is perceived.

When one clicks over and perceives the obstacles as the benefit, and is willing to experience them,
ones experience is filled with a sense of joy and wonder that surpasses any benefit ever conceived.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 12, 2012, 01:01:01 AM
                                             SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 13d 2a


As one discards unenlightenment, an absence of weight is perceived. This absence of weight is accompanied by an absence of tiredness. From this absence of weight and tiredness one perceives an absence of a past. One is reminded of their childhood where one experienced weightlessness and boundless energy. When those surrounding the child speak of the PAST, the child struggles to comprehend why the past should carry any weight.

But soon the child is in school being taught that we must learn from the past.
If that was the truth, then the child would be taught that learning from the past has actually produced  the world that does not learn from the past.

As one approaches enlightenment one perceives that their education is what they are transcending.

Do you feel heavy and tired?  If so...
You have been thoroughly educated.

Make sure they bury you with your Diploma.

For they surely will.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 12, 2012, 07:48:10 AM
                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                            PART 13d 2 a 1

What we are looking at here goes against ones education.

Our education has informed us that one needs a good education to be successful and reap benefits.

So why is it that every single step towards a more enlightened society was first taken by individuals who
were deprived of a full education. Why are the A students working for the D students?

The A students have accepted the forced feeding of facts. The A students have become the effect of information. When faced with problems the A students see nothing crazy about throwing old solutions that haven`t worked at the same problems over and over.

This is why we have the criminal justice industry as the biggest threat to society`s peace and cooperation.
This is why the media is unable to accurately inform it`s public.
This is why health professionals are worse for their patients than the ailment the health industry has itself created.
This is why mental health professionals are fucken nuts.
This is why politicians who are elected to represent the people are able to have people killed.
This is why the education industry churns out a complete apathy about learning.
This why finance experts generate poverty.
This is why Scientists use the words, could, might, possibly, hopefully, grants, should, predict, think,
and maybe.

They are all victims of an education. They are all living forever in the past.

Only those who haven`t been educated into believing in the past can actually see the problems and solutions that exist now.

Only the uneducated can see the truth that is before them now.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 14, 2012, 09:24:38 AM
                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                              Part 13d 2 a 2

                                How come we don`t know we are Gods?

Viewing physical as God, one has no preference as to an outcome. One knows all, and knows that
everything works out fine. One cannot experience the joy of discovery and the adventure of an uncertain outcome. One is looking from outside in.

However the pure desire to experience, requires one to have a perspective, a viewpoint.
With that, one can experience the joy of re discovery or re cognition, if you like.
One has a point to view from.

So a pretense occurs. One goes from looking from `outside in`, to looking from `inside out.`
The `inside out` perspective must deny the `outside in` awareness to the `inside out` experience.

The specific viewpoint creates times to perceive a benefit. The inside out being has manufactured circumstances and experiences.

These circumstances and experiences solidify to the extent the inside out being perceives them as real and takes them seriously. It all adds weight to the argument that the inside out perspective is a victim of circumstances.

By reconnecting with ones global knowingness, despite our experiences and circumstances, one
inevitably transcends all adverse circumstances and experiences without the need for personal involvement. In fact it is personal involvement that guarantees perpetuation of undesirable circumstances and experiences.

You will never see any evidence of God outside of yourself.
Looking for God from inside out is what creates the  physical game board that we all experience.

When one cannot experience God, one simply IS.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 15, 2012, 08:23:41 AM
                                              SENSE OF WONDER

                                                   Part 13d 2 a 3

                                               Recharging the battery.

By living in the time illusion, one is discharging the positive charge that they entered physical with.
We have all seen how people get old and bitter. We accept it as part of life.
And nothing could be more right.

When we enter physical we are supercharged with endless enthusiasm and energy.
After our third failed marriage, or our twenty second rejection letter, our battery is running low on power.

The only place we can recharge our battery is in the eternal moment of NOW.
We can connect up with someone who is connected to the perpetual potential of NOW and recharge our battery. We say , we were inspired by someone. Don`t ever think you were inspired by something.
The something is only a conduit for the energy.

So living in the relative universe is a permanent burden. It`s such a burden that we need to go comatose to it once a day for about eight hours.

If one wanted to recharge their battery and remain forever young, one can do so by connecting up with
pure potential.

Every moment in time means to be carrying "our story" around. Even after sleep we habitually resurrect our story by waking up to who we are.

If one wanted to recharge their battery, one could sit in a distraction free environment for approximately twenty minutes per day and simply connect their breathing.

The tired, heavy you will latch on to this energy to feed itself.
So to avoid allowing that identity to waste more time, simply note it and clear your mind again.
Your present moment awareness is best connected to by refusing to think of anything specific.

A specific thought or concern is a magnet that will only drain, never replenish.

By connecting up with the eternal moment of now one is to restoring potential.
It is giving you the power to let the sick, tired, addicted, tortured, worried, depressed, negatively charged you,  transform into the healthy, energetic, free, pleasurable, stress free  happy positively charged you.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 17, 2012, 01:23:18 AM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 13d 2 a 4

                                             A perfect world.

The universe is being created in every instant to please God.
Our education has put space and distance in the middle of this instantaneousness act of perpetual creation.
We are taught that the universe was created billions of years ago. Highly educated Scientists assure us that this is so. They have the evidence. It can be assumed that given billions of more years and more evidence gathering that one day in the year 29 billion, we will finally have this puzzle solved.

There will be much singing and dancing and gnashing of teeth. The gnashing of teeth will be the religiots
who couldn`t understand the science so just blamed existence on a fickle God.

Won`t they be pissed off when the Scientists explain how nothing created something.
I think this will be a seven blackboard algebraical equation.

Will this mean that we`ll finally have something worth watching on TV?

I want to tell you a story...

          "We had just sat down for a few quiet beers when we realized the world was perfect in every way. The end."

See how much time you can spend on that story.

Now imagine that that is the only story. There are no other stories. Just;

"We had just sat down for a few quiet beers when we realized the world was perfect in every way. The end."

 The life of Jesus has been called "The greatest story ever told."
And yet the one I just told you is infinitely better. It`s perfect.

After all isn`t it what we are all striving for. Isn`t it what Jesus himself was striving for?

So how come the true "greatest story ever told" no one wants to claim authorship of?
What motivates Scientists, housewives, businessmen, criminals, teachers, religious leaders, shop keepers,
traffic cops, politicians, authors, dictators, village idiots ?????

Everyone , from their perspective, is trying to create the perfect world.

But if the world was perfect what would all the people on TV have to bitch about?
What would the cops have to do? Would problem solvers become redundant?

What would we all do with our time?

How could we sin? If we were perfect.... Why.... we`d be Gods.

And we all know God is everywhere...All the time.

Would God like my story of a perfect world?
Well.... Do you?


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 18, 2012, 03:35:47 PM
                                              SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 13d 2 a 5

                                        The big bang is happening now

Everything that has, is, or will exist, can only exist now. Evidence to the contrary can only exist now.

Time travel is an illusion, as time and travel are the same thing.

We are all perfect NOW. Everything is perfection.

Imperfection is an illusion to give perfection a holiday destination.

There just wasn`t any time to be basking in our glorious perfection .

Our perfection can only be experienced in relation to that which is other than perfect.

So perfection gives birth to that which is less than itself.

Perfection cannot admire itself when it is all there is.

So a less than perfect creation distances itself from perfection which is so perfect it cannot create itself.

Perfection can only create something less than itself.

As there is nothing other than perfection, perfection can only create within itself something which is
less than itself.

Still... Perfection sees nothing within itself anything but perfection.
But perfection, by looking out from within itself is able to see itself as less than perfect.

In fact it is a requirement of `less than perfect` to live in a less than perfect world.

Whenever `less than perfect` recognizes `perfect`, it giggles and swoons.

`Less than perfect` strives to become `perfect` again.

`Less than perfect` naturally has less than perfect ideas on how to achieve this.

Sometimes `less than perfect` sees perfection as less than perfect.
When `less than perfect` sees `less than perfect` as `perfect,` `less than perfect` is perfect again.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 19, 2012, 05:19:29 PM
                                              SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 13 d 3

                                        Our feelings about feelings.

Without feelings we don`t know how we feel about anything.
Rocks have no feelings. The cold has no feelings.
None of us want to be like a cold rock.
Without feelings we are nothing.

Feelings are our last defense against being nothing.

That`s all they are. Yet they are more sacred to us than any other phenomenon.

They are more sacred than God and Jesus and Jehovah and a cathedral.
In fact it is our feelings that make things sacred.

If we quiz beings about why they feel the way they do about things, we need to be careful.
No one wants to hurt someones feelings.

If we hurt someones feelings they could bomb our homes or sentence us to burn in hell. Or even
try to turn us into a cold rock that has no feelings.

Our feelings are the sum total of our experiences and circumstances.
And yet our feelings are the instigators of our experiences and circumstances.

No wonder we feel like we must obey our feelings and yet at the same time feel as though we can`t trust them.

Our feelings are right there the moment our attention is focused on anything.
It`s there before the mind has a chance to draw on circumstances and experiences.
Feelings over ride all thoughts and manifestations.

All thoughts and manifestations are the direct result of feelings.
The whole life experience, or human history, which is happening NOW, is being generated by feelings.

All experience is feeling. All feeling is experience.
How else would one know how they felt about anything?

Till one becomes cause over feeling, one is effect of feeling.

When one does the present moment connected breathing one is confronted by the feeling that they don`t want to do it.  It feels like there must be a better way to spend ones TIME.

And of course one would be right. Look at all the interesting things people have felt like doing in the past.
And just imagine all the interesting things people will feel like doing in the future.

Feels like an eternity.
We have all sentenced ourselves to feel forever.

By losing our addiction to feeling, we can just know.
This won`t feel strange. It can`t !!!

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 20, 2012, 08:22:50 AM
                                     SENSE OF WONDER

                                           Part 13 e

                             Transcending the "reality" delusion.

There exists astronomical quantities of circumstances and evidence of what composes reality.

What we all need to do, we are constantly reminded, is face Reality.

So why is this phrase used to disown someone with a conflicting reality?
Are we not in that moment taking ownership of an alternate reality.

Reality as a subject has not been as clear cut as people`s reality insists it is.

It turns out that Reality is a possession. Something we hang on to with Herculean resolve.

If we feel our reality being taken from us we lose our minds and freak out.

We feel ill at ease if some other reality threatens the one we own.

Historically it has been the reality that it is important to eliminate any conflicting reality by any means.

We gain the benefit of great satisfaction when our reality wins against a visiting reality.

We feel our reality is the best and we support our home team when a rival reality comes to town to take on our boys.

We agree with all the spectators that our team is the best.

We own our team and wear their colors. We cheer our boys on and yell abuse at the visitors.
We own our reality and disown the other reality.

When our reality loses, we take it personally and demand that the coach be fired.
We hope our injured will be on form for a re match.

We know if we win every match, even the final, (Before the whole process starts again) that the world will know that our reality is the best. We walk around like a `smarty pants`.

We used to build statues of the heroes who defended our reality against all opposing realities.
That is till we realized defecating pigeons didn`t share our reality.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 25, 2012, 08:58:39 AM
                                               SENSE OF WONDER

                                                     Part 13 f

                                              The wonder of sense

You still here ???

Amazing.  You have been reading all this junk that just doesn`t make sense.
And yet you still knew that there was something here.
Something that doesn`t exist anywhere else in the universe.

Everywhere else things have to make sense. I mean who`s going to waste their precious time on nonsense?

Making sense of everything has been a long unrewarding quest.
People have been trying to make sense of everything for an eternity and they will continue to try and make sense for another eternity.

One perceives that there will be great benefit on the day when it all makes sense.

So let us imagine that day.
It will be billions of years from now. Some scientist will create a theory that explains everything.
It will be ruthlessly tested in the laboratory by teams of scientists.

"Eureka !!!!"  There will be celebrating and caek.

Others observing the festivities will be curious to know what all the celebrating is about.

Not being able to fully understand the science behind this great discovery the masses will have to take it all on faith. But when they tire of dancing and going "yip, yip yip yip yip yip yip".

They will have to go back to their lives. Some will stop believing in the new theory because their lives are still shit.

The believers will try to convince the ignorant nonbelievers that they are wrong.

Maybe a war will start between the believers and the non believers.
It could last for another eternity.
There will be many casualties and much suffering.

But at least it will all make perfect sense.

You see all the wars and all the suffering have always made perfect sense.

I mean people haven`t been fighting and suffering over nonsense. Look at Vietnam !!!

Even today you can ask someone who is fighting and suffering as to why they are fighting and suffering.
They will gladly tell you. When they have finished it will all make sense.

But if it doesn`t ... you may end up in a war with them.
A nonsense war over making sense.

  Making sense can only occur against the backdrop of TIME.
When you roll time out like a roll of wallpaper everything makes sense.
Everything is plotted sequentially and the present is just a fly speck at the midway point.

Now despite the fact that you are sitting on this fly speck, nothing makes sense.

Yet we have had half of an eternity for it all to make sense.
The assumption is that in the other half of eternity things will finally make sense.
Of course we will all be long gone by then.

So we pass on to our children the hope that things will all make sense, one day.

People in the future will have houses on Mars and phones that actually work and it will all make perfect sense.

Meanwhile we just plod along in the hope that this day of perfect sense won`t be too long coming.

After all ...It`s what keeps us going...


Is any of this making sense?
If it does still haven`t got it.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 28, 2012, 07:49:28 AM
                                           SENSE OF WONDER

                                              Part 14

                                The Topsy turvy world of Arther Brown.

From an unenlightened perspective one experiences unenlightenment.

One concludes that if enlightenment exists at all, it exists outside of ones present viewpoint.

So someone seeking enlightenment desires to absorb an enlightened viewpoint.

This can mean traveling or educating oneself. Some are even willing to pay for someone else to
enlighten them.

The mind, acting on the emotional desire to end suffering, looks for evidence of enlightenment and
computes ways of acquiring it.

It says things like; "If I read this book I will get an enlightened viewpoint."
                          "If I perform this ritual often enough, I will gain an enlightened viewpoint."
                          " If I stay close to a guru who owns seven Rolls Royce's, I will acquire an enlightened perspective."
                       "If I discipline my mind and body, my spirit will be disciplined enough to assume the enlightened perspective."

"If I underline certain passages in sacred books, I will  have earned enlightenment because of my devotion."

    Well good luck with all of that.  And by the way...Mind.... How come none of the above have worked in thousands of years?

And why is that when I, the unenlightened viewpoint, get to where enlightenment is supposed to be, does I, the unenlightened, blow it by doing something embarrassingly unenlightened?

Why do those supposedly enlightened ones insist on trying to fuck one of The Beatles girlfriends, Imprison a four year old boy in the chain locker of a ship, Assault their staff, Throw a pointless temper tantrum in the high temple in front of murderous Roman conquerers, declare war on non believers, Take drugs and alcohol and hire male prostitutes ?

 Human history has been a running record of the fallout of fake enlightenment.

Finally the mystery is solved right here before your very eyes.

          The moment one adopts a viewpoint one has unenlightened themselves.

The more one takes their viewpoint seriously, the more serious the consequences.

For an enlightened one doesn`t take viewpoints seriously.
An enlightened one has a great sense of joy and wonder at viewpoints.

An enlightened one actually finds viewpoints a source of great mirth.

                                    Laughter is enlightenment

                                      Seriousness is unenlightenment

                                                                    Just ask the Pope.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 02, 2012, 10:08:52 AM
                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                             Part 15

                                 Painting by numbers..

For something to be `less than perfect`, it must, by default,  become something specific.
After all, there must be something specific about it that defines its `less than perfection`ness.

`Less than perfect` can only perpetuate through its own unwillingness to experience its perfection.

So `less than perfect` has a viewpoint that is unique to`less than perfect.`
By recognizing its own `less than perfect` viewpoint, a point of view is assummed.
That point of view becomes the defining creation of identification.

One becomes an identity, albeit less than perfect.

It is only from a `less than perfect` viewpoint that one can perceive a benefit.
That benefit is in the direction of perfection.

Thus we are all preoccupied with our `less than perfect` perception of perfection.
It is the subtext of all of human history.

It is the hidden agenda behind every breath we take and every race we exterminate.

It is our own identification with our `less than perfect` selves that is behind the great pretense that
manifests as LIFE.

All sadness, all, suffering, all pain, all regret, all imprisonment, all fear, all need, all frustration is
manifested by identification with our `less than perfect` selves.

All Happiness, all pleasure, all ecstasy, all pride, all freedom, all courage, all waste, all confidence is
manifested by identification with our `less than perfect` selves.

We paint our existence before us with a `less than perfect` agenda.

Unfortunately we are not all as privileged as the Queen, who thinks the whole world smells of fresh paint.

We are so used to the smell of paint, from attempting to paint a perfect world, that we don`t notice it anymore.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 05, 2012, 08:16:07 AM
                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 16

                                         Lifeaholics Anonymous.

It seems no one likes to be accused of being an addict.
They`ll use all sorts of made up excuses to explain how their addiction isn`t really an addiction.
"It is a choice."

"I could stop if I wanted to. Actually back in the 80`s I gave up for six months."

These days I only do it when I wake up in the morning. after meals, and during breaks at addict meetings.

Those who are not affected by an addiction see how insane the addict is behaving.
The addict uses all sorts of tricks to hold his addiction at arms length so he or she won`t look insane to the unaddicted.

The addiction becomes their little secret.

It`s something they can`t explain to others so it becomes a private matter.

They feel incomplete without imbibing in their addiction.

The focus of their addiction becomes scarce and ultimately sacred.

I`ve been addicted to cigarettes my whole life. When I was eighteen, I worked at a freight yard.
Once in a while I had the job of unloading railway wagons full of cartons of cigarettes.
I found it fascinating that when "smoko" came I couldn`t bring myself to smoke.
For several hours after the job I just had no where for the smoke to go.
I had no sense of being deprived. I was over run on smokes.

It took quite a bit of effort to make cigarettes scarce enough so that I felt deprived enough of them to want one again.

I had to re manufacture my addiction.

It is no surprise that addictions have been justified as chemical imbalances.

The body craves that chemical rush.

But that does not explain why the stress of the junky dissolves when they score !!!
The guy who is hanging out for a fix feels complete as he begins the habit ritual.
Long before any chemicals have a chance to interact with his deprived chemicals.

Don`t worry... This is going somewhere.

I want to deprive you of it just for a bit. That way you`ll get a big hit when I post the next part.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 06, 2012, 11:42:31 PM
                                                  SENSE OF WONDER

                                                         Part 17

                                                         The fix

The reason one is not enlightened is because of other priorities.

This statement isn`t an easy one to grasp. But it can be seen in relation to the creation of time.
People deceive themselves and the world by saying " No I haven`t got the time for that....I`m too busy."

An enlightened one hearing this fob off spots the deception.
The truth is not that one doesn`t have time....It`s that one has other priorities.
And so this little truth twist has aided in the un enlightened continuation.

Let us do a short exercise to get an enlightened perspective.

Grab a piece of paper and write a list of reasons why you are unenlightened.

Do it NOW !!!

What you now have before you, if you did the above, is a list of your addictions.
This is the list of how your identity has defined itself as unenlightened.

If you erased all the things on this list, you wouldn`t have a clue who you were any more.
Because you would be pure potential.

Now the one thing you didn`t write on your list, and I`m going to write it here for the first time ever, is;

                 "I`m too busy pretending to be enlightened , to be enlightened."

As one is plummeting to their death it becomes clear that everything one is, has amounted to zero benefit.
All those diplomas, all those, brownie points, all that dedicated service, all those certificates, all those late fines from the library, all the love one has given, all the money one has accumulated, all ones responsibilities, all the respect one has acquired, all the lives one has helped.... All mean nothing. In deed.... they are the very reason you find yourself plummeting




Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 09, 2012, 08:05:17 AM
                                           SENSE OF WONDER

                                                    Part 18

                                    The world`s oldest profession
                                         (The great pretender)

Enlightenment has eluded us due to us having other priorities.

The priority has only ever been, feeding our addiction.

We have all been too busy to give up our addiction.  The truth of this is plainly evident by the evolution
of psycho therapy. 

There is nothing that fuels our addiction like being asked to talk about our circumstances and experiences.
The irony is that, it is our experiences and circumstances that have culminated in why we are seeing a therapist. They are the story of how we got to be where we are NOW, which is where we don`t want to be.

There is not one shred of therapeutic value in indulging ourselves in our past.
All it is, is justification for our addiction.

Let me state boldly and emphatically that there is nothing in ones past that will lead to enlightenment.
People`s story, or circumstances and experiences are a lesson in unenlightenment.

What?... you thought that enlightenment was somewhere in your past but you missed it????

The past is an bottomless pit of fuel for our addiction.

And what is that addiction? may well ask...

It is the addiction to being YOU.

It is the mold which predetermines everything you are doing in a pretend now.

Let`s look at some guy who "voluntarily" looks after the appearance of the local church.

People, once in a while, praise him for his tireless dedication and conscientious diligence.

What a hero. Where does he get his drive? How can one person be so community minded?

But .......  nothing on earth will ever convince him that his efforts are unnecessary and wasteful.

Any attempts to make this guy redundant will be taken as a personal insult and a threat to his dignity, or sense of self worth.

Every hero will shrug off his heroic deed as something he "just had to do."
He "could NOT stand around and do nothing."

So all the people we worship and use as role models have always done what they were going to do anyway. Nothing could stop them. IT is like an addiction.

This is the great pretense. 

Dramatizing our circumstances and experiences is what we call character building.

It is more important to us than enlightenment.

Unenlightenment is freedom to do what our circumstances and experiences dictate that we do.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 14, 2012, 08:45:20 AM
                                               SENSE OF WONDER

                                                         Part 19     
                                         Losing something to gain nothing

The genesis of all addiction is perceived deprivation. The addiction creates a need for instant gratification.
The addiction and its gratification are something.

So the addicted is left with the conundrum, "How to lose something to gain nothing."

The ever helpful mind steps in and pretends that one can lose something and gain something else.

Yet the proud announcements of "number of days" without indulging in the addiction, confirm that one has still not resolved the feelings of deprivation.

  " I have deprived myself of my addiction for thirty one days. Look I have a medal."

Medals and trophies are an attempt to make something out of nothing.

Which is the definition of a soap opera.

What we are reading here is frustrating to the mind.

The mind is addicted to logic. The mind can figure things out. It needs facts and statistics.

Why then is it, that facts and statistics shown to an addict can be effortlessly ignored ???????

One can show the mind of an addict, charts and case histories. The mind of an addict can agree 100%
that their addiction is hurting, not only themselves, but also their friends and family.

Yet the addict`s mind will do a 180 degree walk away from the irrefutable facts.

Because the mind cannot fill that feeling of deprivation. It needs that fix to instantly gratify the feeling of deprivation.

This has confounded, mind owners, social workers and community groups, and Hollywood, for as long as "Coronation Street" has been running, and longer...

We all know that the mind will one day come up with a something that will be a cure for addiction.

After all we are addicted to that idea.

If we give up that something.... we will be left with nothing.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 16, 2012, 07:45:58 AM
                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                               Part 20

                                           Life as an addict

The great thing about an addiction is that if everyone has the same thing it ceases to be an addiction and now becomes "just part of LIFE."

To remain unenlightened all we need do is retain our addiction to life.

It makes us feel normal and gives us a sense of belonging.

To see what a pretense this all is, all one has to do is watch a movie from the 50`s. Pre Elvis...

There is something stuffy and suffocating, creating a subtext to each and every scene.
It`s as if there is a hidden agenda motivating all within the film.

If we try to get a modern teenager to sit through a 1950`s movie, we see the kid starting to show symptoms of severe anti social behavior.

The kid is unwilling to tune into the sensibilities of the time and he finds everyones pretentiousness, irritating.

And yet this could have been the biggest box office draw of its day.

This kid can`t conceive of the fact that his grandchildren will fall asleep watching his present favorite movie.

The only movies that survive the test of time are those that don`t prostitute themselves to current mores, and fashions. Recognizing the guy with bad table manners as the villain, doesn`t have a very long shelf life.

Another insight into this phenomenon can be had today by watching a movie made in a country that is unaffected by your own culture.

We look at this foreign movie and go "these people are nuts !!!"
They are all making a fuss about shit that doesn`t matter.

"For Gods sake....Let me out of this hell.!!!!"

You get the same thing when you have someone from another culture tell you why they are depressed.

When they are finished , we feel exasperated.

It becomes clear to us, as outsiders, that all these issues, despite our attempts to empathize with them, are all made up.

Luckily we are only experts on everyone else`s mind.
Otherwise when we were depressed and despondent we would see that all our issues are made up to.

Then what would we have to do all day ???

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 22, 2012, 08:54:24 AM
                                           SENSE OF WONDER

                                                Part 21

                                           For better or for worse

Because everyone here in physical shares the same addiction, we can divert our attention from
our own addiction, by seeing that others have it worse.

This is the ugliest side of our addiction. It has everyone here in its grasp.

It turns us into sanctimonious killers. It allows us to betray those we love. This addiction is the glue that
holds us here in an unenlightened identification with form.

Why hasn`t anyone else pointed it out in thousands of years?

Because..... It is this very addiction that inspired all previous philosophical thinking.

All philosophies that have resulted in us remaining unenlightened were just justification for the addiction.

None of what we are reading here makes any sense to the mind.

It just doesn`t fit in with our circumstances and experiences.

Because of that, we are able to remain unenlightened. We turn a blind eye to everything outside of our circumstances and experiences and enable our addiction and become murderers.

Let`s see if we can come at this from inside of our circumstances and experiences.

Someone does us wrong. This immediately gives birth to a judgment call by our circumstances and experiences.
Which after all is what has created what we currently are.

We know the person who did us wrong, did us wrong because it doesn`t fit in with our circumstances and experiences. Now the mind will build a case against this wrongdoer.

"Look no one who likes me does this sort of wrongdoing."

The mind will consult others who have different circumstances and experiences from the wrongdoers.

It`s like the mind wants a lynch mob assembled to eradicate wrongdoers.
Of course this sort of thing would never happen in real life.

We, in our pretend ed enlightened times would never have wrongdoers sentenced to death by hanging, lethal injection or the electric chair.  We would never consider killing their entire families, and burning their villages. We would never bomb their cities back to the stone age... All because they had different circumstances and experiences.

Oh yes we would !!!

It`s much less effort to simply disown them. Write them out of our wills. Give them the evil eye or the silent treatment till they hopefully die screaming of cancer.

We fail to see that every time we disown someone else`s circumstances and experiences and we ostracize and condemn them due to our more enlightened viewpoint,.....  We are empowering our own addiction to our own circumstances and experiences.

Which is the pretend enlightenment that we are addicted to.

"Look ! I AM RIGHT...
( on this marble floating in space with not the foggiest clue what it`s all about.)

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 23, 2012, 07:40:52 AM
                                           SENSE OF WONDER

                                                Part 22

                                           The recovery

Great minds have pondered the subject of addiction.

And you wanna know what they have come up with?

An addiction to curing addiction.

The main thrust of these behavior modification techniques are motivated by the evidence that addiction ultimately results in death.

Which, of course, would deny one of life.

Interestingly when people`s lives is threatened, they display all the symptoms of an addict.

Could it be that all addictions are based on an unwillingness to experience being deprived of life?

Now we are getting close to the heart of the matter.

An addiction is an unwillingness to experience deprivation.

Once you are unwilling to experience being deprived of something you are stuck on the game board
of life, at the mercy of your dealer.

Our unwillingness to experience being deprived of eternity puts us at the mercy of a loving God who can smite us if we fail to deliver what that God is unwilling to be deprived of...Our eternal devotion and obedience.

So you see.... Even God is an addict.

Yes you are.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 23, 2012, 12:35:04 PM
                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                             Part 23

                                        Flushing out GOD.

According to historical records, We and GOD have many things in common.

We and God have unlimited potential, which is laying dormant presently.

In the past, both God and us have had trouble managing our frustration and anger.

You may recall how God has taken lives. Just like Hitler, Stalin, Bush, and Pol Pot did.

Like God, we have a gender and a humanoid form. We know that we can sit at the right hand of the father. Many biblical references speak of HIS body parts and bipedal structure.

And yes, just like us, God falls victim to jealousy, and vanity. We also share self worth issues in common with God.

Like God we can have children. Like God we can create new life.

And like God, when our children disappoint us we have the potential to smite them.

Like God our love is conditional.

Also in common with God is our incapability to stop evil.

How about our capacity to be pleased or displeased? Yep... That to.

But .... Now I`ve got you.

God can make something out of nothing....

Oh yeah....  Have you read a script from "Home and away" or "Days of our lives", or The Middle East.

Does God write them?

Yes my child.  I`m afraid we do.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 26, 2012, 07:58:04 AM
                                                   SENSE OF WONDER

                                                      Part 24

                                                    Living on the inside

The one thing we all clash against every waking, and, sometimes sleeping, moment, is our mind.

We are all aware that we are not utilizing our full potential.

It feels as if our mind is a wet blanket friend.

Our mind conjures up all these ways we can receive great benefit. And yet as soon as we set
off on the road to perceived fulfillment, the mind say...."Not so fast... !!!"

This has frustrated and baffled us our whole lives. In fact the more life we have had, the more it frustrates and baffles us.

The way we justify and accept living with this is to say "If only...... then......."

If only I could win lotto ..., then..... I could do the things I want to do."
If only I`d listened more at school , then people would respect me....etc.

Since the mind is merely a store house for our circumstances and experiences, the only stuff in it
is what got you to where you don`t want to be now.

Eventually one feels so trapped in their own home that they burn it down, while still residing there.

This is referred to as a mental breakdown.

The mind manufactures our unique identity. And we are addicted to that whole package.

Being able to attain our full potential, is thwarted by our own minds.

While we remain identified with our minds all we can become is dictated to us by our experiences and circumstances. Attaining our full potential remains outside of our experience and thus, circumstances.

  Fortunately we have death to remind us that ultimately our circumstances, experiences and their vessel
the mind are all temporary accommodation.

We have made something out of nothing.

If we perceive this and voluntarily move out of our minds we are filled with a sense of joy and wonder.

Present moment awareness is then realized, and it has nothing to to with our present environment.

After all..... Our present environment is the manifestation of a mind.

By disowning the mind, one moves from being the effect of their experiences, to the cause of them.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 27, 2012, 03:18:46 AM
                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 25

                                        The Bicycle of life.

Some philosophies, in their one inch wisdom, preach of this bullshit "cycle of life."
As if there is great wisdom in surrendering to the inevitable birth, survive and die is the way to go.

It conjures up images of some nostalgic sense of fitting in to the system.

There is no shortage of evidence that the cycle of life effects everything from a rock to a galaxy.

Nothing expresses our reverence for this grand scheme of things like " Desiderata"

I s`pose its better than "Fuck you very much for your kind donation."

However like everything else that has been thought and written, it is actually motivated by a bullshit, unwritten, till now, premise.

That premise is...

  Our circumstances create our experiences create our circumstances create our experiences create our circumstances........

You may have heard the expression "Stop the world. I want to get off." Or we may have experienced that sentiment within ourselves, or from others.

That is your "cycle of life." More accurately "treadmill of life". And even more accurately "bicycle of life."

So we pedal at our own speed in the direction of perceived benefit, completely resigned to the fact that "No matter where we go....There we are."

Our circumstances create our experiences create our circumstances create our experiences create our circumstances........

We experience that everyone else is doing it... So it creates the circumstances for us to experience it as well. It`s quite addictive.

When we fall off our bikes, we don`t lay there reciting the " Desiderata".

We say to ourselves.."There is something very unfair and wrong in this universe."

But we dust ourselves off and get back on the road.

Anyway...That`s enough time spent reading this for now.

"On your bike!"


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 28, 2012, 07:26:48 AM
                                            SENSE OF DOUBT

                                               Part 26

                                             Mr Brightside

It will be of great relief to many of you to know that everything we have read in this thread is made up.

That`s right. Not one word of it is based on any corroborating evidence.

The idea that we are making this all up is actually made up.

This is the type of concept that makes us feel disturbed and uneasy.

All one`s stable datums are scattered to the wind.

We feel deprived of our sense of stability and security.

So let`s put that back immediately.

The truth is that God made us all.

He lives in Heaven with Jesus and he watches everything we do.

We get points for doing the things he likes and we get demerit points when we do things he doesn`t like.
The worst thing that we can do is say that he is bullshit.

For that one alone we can be sentenced to an eternity of not existing.(Or at least wishing we didn`t.

Okay ???  You got your sense of stability and security back ?

Even though joining God in Heaven is sold as some sort of Disneyland for adults we notice there is a lack of willing volunteers to go there.

Does that mean they have some doubts ?

Ooops ...There goes that sense of stability and security.

The other thing that hurts like a nail through the hand is the fact that true believers  answer some questions based on their circumstances and experiences while others are answered with "God."

Why is it that there is a definite bias towards answering the easy questions based on their circumstances
and experiences. But the tough ones all have a one word answer... "God."

This subject matter makes people feel very insecure and destabilized. (Which is actually fear.)

But as it happens this fear is very deep seated and all other fears have their genesis in this one subject.

Until one transcends this fear, all spiritual enlightenment is stopped dead.

And that is because it is pretended enlightenment. It is a sense of security that makes one deaf, blind,  and DUMB.

It actually gives permission to Gods to become mere mortals.

Do you realize that if God had the same circumstances and experiences you`d had, God would be just like you !!! ???


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on October 29, 2012, 07:46:12 AM
                                             SENSE OF WONDER

                                                  Part 27

                                              "Go directly to Jail.
                                                  Do not pass go.
                                              Do not collect $200."

Hell is a state of mind.
Heaven is a state of no mind.

Everything that has ever existed, is existing, or will ever exist, can only exist in the eternal moment of now. One cannot be deprived of anything in the present because everything is present.

The illusion of deprivation and the anxiety of the junkie can only exist within the illusion of TIME.

We create time by pretending we are being deprived.

That pretense is what creates a vacuum where the feelings of deprivation can, hopefully, be resolved.

To be a mind owner at all, one has to have bought into the emotion that they are deprived.

The less one feels emotionally deprived, the less serious one becomes.

The mind then is not required and ceases to be identified with.

We can see the opposite occur when seeing someone who has bought into the illusion of deprivation, manufactured a mind to solve it, filled the mind with circumstances and experiences and then identifies with it.

Then we take everything seriously, can`t change who we are, and believe our own bullshit.

At this end of the scale, we believe every thought the mind has, and are compelled to act on it.

Think of all the misery caused, due to those of us who have become victims of every thought they have.

We can immediately spot how deluded someone`s mind is by their lack of humor.

Enlightenment is hysterically funny.
Unenlightenment is some serious shit.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 02, 2012, 07:59:44 AM
                                                     SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                         Part 28

                                                      How I write

This is me talking now. The human.

Every morning I get up, have something to eat, a cup of tea and a smoke, then I do twenty minutes or
so of present moment conscious breathing.
It is during that time where a quote or phrase manifests.
It is a present time perception. Maybe like something behind what the human form experiences as the environment.  So rather than perceive a television set... I feel the energy that is behind the manifestation.

Anyway... So say I get this phrase. "Life is extreme tiredness."

I sometimes have to jot it down so it will leave me alone to get on with the breathing.

Then I sit at the computer and look at the phrase. Then I just start to write. It pours out of me.
I don`t stop to think about what I write.
I don`t worry about spelling or grammar.
It`s so hard to keep up with the outpouring of what I`m tuned in to.

Then I hit post before reviewing what I wrote.

Sometimes just before I start to write, I look at the previous post just to help get in tune with this stuff.
It`s then I sometimes catch a spelling mistake etc.

But it also occurs to me that what I have written is not about the quote or phrase I started with.

So I`ve become aware of the fact that the quote or phrase is actually the door which opens to a bunch of stuff that was previously hidden from view.

Now the reason I`m telling you all this, is that this door has been firmly shut with me on the human side of it.

Okay .... So here is what I`m seeing.
This door is symbolic of the barrier between knowing and not knowing.

Ignorance and wisdom if you like.

Human vs God.

Before one can move somewhere. One has to be somewhere else.

Presently I am experiencing everything that is holding me on the human side of the door.

Not the manifestations. But the energies.

I`m trying to make peace with it all.
But the frustration of being on the NOT KNOWING side of the door when you are being squashed against it......

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 04, 2012, 08:23:03 AM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                                Part 29

                                          The search for truth

Holy fuck !!!!

I`m sorry this is going to seem like a jumbled mess. But I need to write it down before I lose it again and disappear back into TIME.

Mans search for the truth, and your search for the truth has been thwarted by the truth about truth.

Firstly Truth does not exist until you perceive it.
It`s not hanging around out there with an agenda to be discovered.

Truth is actually the point of creation.
We approach what we perceive as the truth by actually recognizing the path back to the point of creation.

So one gets the impression that the truth is unfolding through a sense of recognition of its layers.

So it`s an apparency that when one removes the lies that are cloaking the truth , then truth will be revealed.

But as one stands outside of ultimate truth, a door is perceived.

On this side is not knowing the truth and on the other side is full knowledge of the truth.

This has been fucking with me for all time.

Finally saw it just now.

                                    TRUTH IS A REVOLVING DOOR.

When we push on it, we just come out somewhere else with a new truth.

                                       Truth is the point of creation.

Now this is hell to try and grasp from an identification as something perspective.

You won`t find anything that even approaches the truth from there.

And that is because we are constantly casting camouflage over the truth we came into being with as an
act of SELF PRESERVATION.  In other words we create new truths to hide from ourselves the contradiction we are unwilling to experience. In other words lies.

This is the glue we use to stay addicted to form and hide the truth from ourselves.

But we kind of know that we are removed from the truth.
And that is exactly what keeps this pretense going.

And to compound the problem when we finally unscramble this mess and pass back through the door of truth, we discover we have merely come out the other side with a new truth.

           It is impossible to find "THE TRUTH" when it is ourselves who are creating it.

           In ultimate reality there is no truth !!!  AND THAT IS THE TRUTH !!!

You can only find where it WAS.

Because when you finally grasp the truth it has become a new truth....Something else.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 05, 2012, 07:48:41 AM
                                                      SENSE OF WONDER

                                                          Part 30

                                                    Nothing but the truth

All life is the manifestation of TRUTH.

It is impossible to lie.

Every lie is an alternate truth.

A lie is just a truth that hasn`t had the benefit of manifestation of circumstances.

It seems like word play.... But below this is truth about guilt, regret and denial.

The truth is that once you buy into the idea that you can create something that is less than the truth,
you have opened this whole bullshit can of worms about sin, transgression, and overts. And that`s the truth.

Unless you bought into it.  As soon as you buy it, you own it.

Truth has always been held up as something real.
Something to fear. Something to intimidate with.
It is also pointed at as something to revere.

We have fallen for this so badly that we think any discussion about TRUTH is redundant.
After all the TRUTH is the TRUTH and nobody can do anything about it.

For example, it is probably TRUE that you will never be a famous movie star like Brad Pitt or Angelina Jolie. But Brad and Angelina never experienced that truth.

It`s probably true that you will never be as Rich as Bill Gates. But Bill never fell for that TRUTH.

It`s probably true that you will never be a mass murderer like Hitler, Stalin or Moses....  But Hitler, Stalin and Moses didn`t know the TRUTH that they couldn`t be mass murderers.

We have banged our heads against the TRUTH for all time. But as one approaches it, one sees it like trying to chase a rainbow.

Contemporary expertise is that one should face the truth. Step one is to admit you have no power over alcohol. Immediately you have twelve steps to take on the path to truth as an alcoholic.

                           TRUTH IS THE ACT OF CREATION.

                            ALL CREATION IS HAPPENING NOW !!!!


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 06, 2012, 07:35:42 AM
                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                               Part 31

                                     " I am the way, the truth and the light..."

                                                                                                          Jesus Presley.

Life, as we know it, did not exist before TRUTH.
In fact, life as we know it, only exists , as it does, because TRUTH made it so.

And is it not obvious that life continues to perplex us because we haven`t been told the whole truth, and nothing but.

To know the whole truth, and nothing but, is to end the game. It leaves no mystery to resolve.
The truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth is being back in the drivers seat.

From that point of unlimited choices and full potential, we cannot go anywhere without taking truth with us.

There really is no comparison.  There is nothing to do.  We are a spectator with no preference to outcomes of participants.

To have a preference we willingly discard the whole truth and bundle up a bunch of half truths for our journey.  It`s a little like being an explorer. Someone who leaves the comforts of home behind so that they can appreciate them when they get back.

It defies logic.  So why do we do it?

                          "Because it`s there !"

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 07, 2012, 07:44:54 AM
                                       SENSE OF WONDER

                                          Part 32

                                         The truth bubble

The fashionable truth is that some time trillions of years ago the universe was created.
It`s what the mind comes up with when asked to ponder this subject.
One gets overwhelmed by visions of astronomy and a deep male voice that reverberates throughout the universe, with a self confidence that is beyond question.

But the mind can`t ponder this for long as it is too big a question and the answer is too big to comprehend.

If that is what you buy into, then you are a victim of that truth for all time.

This vision is so popular that Cecil B De Mille made a killing with it in some movies he made in the pre Elvis era, when movie stars were also considered Gods.

Once you have bought into that past, you have by default also bought into the idea that this may all be resolved sometime in the distant future, by brilliant Scientists.

So we reenact that truth in a mini version with our lives.
"We were created so long ago and we don`t know how and we will get old and die and then ...oh who gives a fuck? It hurts my head."

This is how we become prisoners of the truth and victims of time.

Now if you buy into the truth that time is real, you can continue to fight the war for a better future
(Houses on Mars and phones that work).  You can lay down your life like all those brave men who died fighting for your benefit in World War One. True heroes...

Name one of them !!!!

...........        ................    ............

Talk about the unknown soldier.....!

We are all living in a TRUTH bubble. The more you believe in that truth, the realer it is.

Escaping from that bubble will make no sense at all. It is outside of your experience.
Meanwhile it does make sense to die in a foreign land fighting in a war you didn`t understand, for your King or Kaiser. 

          The truth bubble is your own creation. Only you can dissolve it.
By doing so, you move from being who you are, to who you could be.

                   The more one becomes who they could be, the less truth there is.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 11, 2012, 07:16:20 AM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                               Part 33

                                            Bubble repair

The truth we have manufactured manifests as the bubble we reside in.
We navigate that bubble through life, seeking out other bubbles that reaffirm our truth
whilst avoiding any barbs that could burst our bubble.

Our focus is directed forward,into and through our truth bubble, with our backs firmly against the exit.

The truth bubble we have manufactured, we take very seriously. So seriously that we guard it with our lives. Any rips or tears to our truth bubble  must be repaired as our number one priority.

Till those patches and repairs are done we feel deflated and experience intolerable discomfort.

Without our truth bubble we don`t know who we are. It defines us.

"I am a person. I am .....years old. I am heterosexual, I am a soldier.  I am a republican, I am a Muslim,
I am a banker. I am a kid. I am a holocaust survivor, I am a criminal, I am beautiful, I am dumb,
I am normal,.... I am disappointed, I am a parent, I am way too complicated to ever understand, I am, I said. "

It is our desire to have the security of a truth bubble.
We do not reside at the center of our truth bubble.

We reside with our backs to the exit.
It is from there that we have a perspective. It is from there that we have a point to view from.
It is a forward looking way of having experiences and circumstances.
When those experiences and circumstances evolve into what we are unwilling to experience, our
truth bubble falls to bits and the revolving door of truth takes our focus out of our truth bubble and into another realm.

This is known as a complete mental breakdown.

What we are looking at here is already outside of your truth bubble and may feel uncomfortable to conceive.

For centuries we have been willing to lie , and kill to keep our truth bubble inflated.
If our truth bubble is that, "Jesus Christ is Saviour." then our repair kit is throwing
"This is the devil talking" patches at all the holes, what we have just read, has made in our bubble of truth.

Of course if we were pondering this in a time before Christianity, like Jesus did, we couldn`t patch up all our doubts by throwing Jesus at them.

Fuck. That just made me laugh.

More soon.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 14, 2012, 07:41:58 AM
                                                SENSE OF WONDER

                                                       Part 34

                                           "You can`t handle the truth!"

A very prevalent ingredient of our truth bubble is that "The truth will set you free."
This alone is enough to keep you enslaved for as long as you believe it.

It is so deeply held next to our emotional core that it remains one of the few beliefs that remains a hidden truth, despite the fact that it does not match our circumstances and experiences.

You see for something to be true we need to marry it up to our experiences and circumstances.

We have specific experiences, which create specific circumstances and they become our yardstick for truth.

If I say to you now that "you are the author of your self. " it does not match all the experience you have had with the belief that you are merely a character in someone else's play.

In an earlier chapter I asked you to write a list of reasons why you are not enlightened,

Essentially your answer was "I don`t know."

("If I bloody well knew...then I would cease to remain unenlightened !!!!!"}

Add to this the fact that being enlightened is not part of you circumstances and experiences.
Only pretend enlightenment is.

Now I want you to write a list of reasons you are not being who you could be....

Do it NOW !

Even if you just pondered it. What you have looked into is the dimensions of your truth bubble.

Every single reason you are not being who you could be, is a self created truth...based on your circumstances and experiences.

You cannot see the point of creation of those truths because you are being them.
That self created truth gives you a point of view.
And that more importantly is a point to view from.

You are really superman.  However you are wearing your own Kryptonite around your neck.

It is called the TRUTH.

We have sought the truth since time began. And in every moment our imperfect selves seek the truth we create the time to do it.

What we are seeing here does not fit in with your circumstances and experiences...


Welcome to the beginning and end of history.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 15, 2012, 07:28:23 AM
                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 35

                                       We`re all just blowing bubbles

Our realization that we are less than perfect sets in motion our desire to be perfect again.
It gives us something to do and a game to play.

We take it very seriously sometimes.

Our perfect perspective has been swapped for a less then perfect perspective.

Our less than perfect perspective has given us a less than perfect perspective on what perfection is.

Our less than perfect perspective cannot understand why a less than perfect perspective cannot ever be back in sync with a perfect perspective.

No matter what less than perfect does or what it tries, perfection is always just over the horizon.

So we create our best shot at it, with a pretended perfection called TRUTH.

One of us was so adamant that his pretended TRUTH was so perfect that he wrote a book called "Mein Bubble" and set off to convert the world by force. Not all of us have his drive but that`s only because
we had a whole different bubble. The rest of the world retaliated and after a long struggle, Hitler and his Reich bubble were turned to Reich rubble.

Seventeen hundred years before him a Roman Emperor by the name of Constantine, who lived in his own bubble, realized that to keep his grip on the known world he needed to harness the loyalty and obedience
of bubble headed Christians. So he assembled and edited  part two of "The Holy Bubble", and converted all the Christians to Roman.

You see people won`t risk injury and death over someone else`s real estate acquisitions. But they`ll do
it to Spread the Christian crusade Truth bubble.

The prophesies were fulfilled, the Messiah had come been and gone and a third of the world are relying on a humorless, barely alive git in a funny hat, not to pop their truth bubble.
And what is that Truth bubble?...

"We are less than perfect. We need to do what perfection says
to sit in the presence of perfection when we die.... So long as we admit that we are less than perfect and "repent."

This crafty Roman Catholic move has had the whole of humanity jumping up and down on the same spot since 300 AD. 

Tired of it yet ?

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 16, 2012, 08:06:50 AM
                                                SENSE OF WONDER

                                                  Part 36

                                                Just gimme some TRUTH.

Our Truth Bubble is our pretended enlightenment.
It is the best our less than perfect perspective can do in regards to setting the standard for a perfect world.  This is our pretend enlightenment.

Hitler knew that if you were Aryan, the world would be perfect if you ran it. And that if you were Jewish, black, gay, cripple or insane, you should be dead.

The fact that the outside world did not match the Hitler truth bubble caused him high anxiety.

The fact that people with truth bubbles like Hitler can exist, causes the world high anxiety.
And yet there is a little Hitler in all of us.

We have a pretend standard of what perfection is and the world constantly fails to fulfill our expectations.

Everything we are unwilling to experience is born in this dimension.

All suffering exists inside of the Truth bubble.

To extract your self from your truth bubble is to never be disappointed again.

See the beauty in an

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 17, 2012, 08:00:43 AM
                                         SENSE OF WONDER

                                             Part 37

                                          A time before Truth.

The world is the world it is because of your truth bubble.
And that truth bubble is unique to you.
There are no identical truth bubbles.

The only thing we have in common is that our truth bubbles need time to exist.

This one may not be so easy to grasp...

Time can only exist because it has the potential to not exist.

What this means is that our truth bubbles are inevitably Kamikaze missions.

The objective is to have a few laughs then crash and burn.

I know this all sounds like a weird bit of Japanese Noh theater.

But think about it....

When you read an obituary, you are looking into a truth bubble that no longer exists.

He was a good husband, loving father, worked tirelessly for the community, was a good Christian, and
controlled the lower East side with his crime syndicate.

Any obituary you like.....

But NOW none of it is true. It was a truth that does not exist NOW.

What you are looking at in its coffin is the cold hard truth at the end of its mission.

Then come those agonizing feelings of deprivation for those left behind.

But in a quiet moment of present moment consciousness we can realize that time in this physical realm was only ever a chance to experience how magnificent we are.

This realization ends our addiction to the TRUTH.

Now with that in mind, try going into a 7/11 and buying a pack of gum.

It`s a whole new experience.

All my love.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 18, 2012, 12:42:54 AM
                                         SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 38

                                           Rejecting eternal life

The lives we have created for ourselves have become an automaticity.
Call it instinct. Call it self preservation. Call it an unwillingness to experience nothing.
But names are irrelevant at this core level emotional nexus of the universe.

It is the thing which makes us experience terror if we try to ignore it.
But normally we`re long gone before the terror sets in.

The things that matter to us manifest as the matter that we use to insulate ourselves, from being nothing, with.

Yet as the inevitable termination of our truth bubble approaches, we release more and more things simply because we clearly see that they don`t matter.

Our final breath is our realization that absolutely nothing matters.

It`s quite a sobering moment. The pretense is over. Present moment consciousness is fully realized.
Nothing is being taken personally, as there is no person to take it seriously or otherwise.

Eternal life is rejected as an irrelevance, as there is now nothing to live it.

It is now that we can see how we were the less than perfect version of our perfect, magnificent selves.

We see that our journey was the perfect way to experience this.

We look back at the less than perfect world we have left and realize that because of it, we are experiencing the perfection we always knew we are.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 18, 2012, 09:06:16 AM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                               Part 39

                                             Lost in translation.

It must be taken into account that the material being brought forward here has been buried since time began.

It is the exact reason why we have had the time to ponder it.

Trying to find "the meaning of life" from inside of it, is like trying walk out of a giant labyrinth that has no obvious exit. The fact that it does have an obvious exit after all, can only be observed clearly from above it.
From that perspective it is clear that there is no, no obvious exit.

So to not see the no no obvious exit  one has to be inside the Labyrinth.

From inside the Labyrinth there is no exit because you are perceiving the Labyrinth form inside of it.
Anytime you accidentally find yourself out of the Labyrinth, you ask yourself, "Outside of what?"
and are immediately back in.

Imagine your frustration at the conclusion of a game of Clue (US) Cluedo (British), opening the mystery envelope, only to reveal that Colonel Mustered was murdered in the letter Q(10), with a "get out of jail free card", by a "green tiddlywink."

You go. ... "This doesn`t make sense !!!  These things are from outside of this game.!

 We grumble about the game of life and yet reject any outside intervention because it just doesn`t make sense.

We are compelled to view the outcome of our roll of the dice.
We are inside the labyrinth because of our addiction to the truth. We never suspect that our definition of the truth is manufactured instant by instant to suit our desired everlasting life.
Our very identity is composed of the rules of the labyrinth.

To transcend who we are being we must become who we are not being.

You see the dilemma. !!!!

We must be willing to reside outside of our experience.

It appears to go against nature.

Yet once we are outside of our selves we are filled with an indescribable sense of joy and wonder.

We discover that the idea that a detachment from our own personal labyrinth, would render us cold and dispassionate, is a pretense. Pure superstition.

Yet it is from a disassociated perspective we realize that our individuation was actually the one who was defined by disassociation. It was afraid of falling in love. Was afraid of success. Was afraid of being happy. Was afraid of being sad. Was afraid of being rich. Was afraid of having fun. Was afraid of laughing. Was afraid of getting attention. Was afraid of rejection. Was afraid of being hurt. Afraid of spellling mistakes..Afraid of responsibility...

Was afraid of LIFE !

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 19, 2012, 09:35:16 AM
                                         SENSE OF WONDER

                                               Part 40

                                Exteriorization from inside out

It may seem a contradiction, but your ability to be exterior to your body is a constant choice you are willingly making.

This one has pissed off more philosophers and garden shed think tanks than any other aspect of the human experience.

One feels as though being exterior to their own body is the ultimate expression of freedom.
And someone who can`t exteriorize convinces themselves that their attempts at enlightenment have amounted to a crock of shit.

The conundrum is ... "How can one go from inside oneself (defined) to outside of ones self (undefined)?"

It is your own perpetual act of defining yourself that creates the 'I" that you reside within.

The day that you cannot answer one question on a personality test is the day you are exterior.

The day that you can love your own executioner is the day you get a stay of execution.

Until that day is today you remain on the outside of enlightenment and on the inside of YOU.

Close your eyes and connect your breathing before reading on.  Do it now !!!

There is nothing but perfection. Less than perfect is an illusion.
It is the perfect `less than perfect` illusion.

The separation between perfect and `less than perfect` has created the space for manifestation of that which matters for `less than perfect.`

For `Less than perfect,` that which matters manifests as the solid truth.

`Less then perfect perceives the Truth and instantaneously has a point to view that Truth from.

It is that viewpoint that gives us the truth to create ourselves within.

The self we create is now on a crusade to convince ourselves that our truth is perfect.
We have even used convincing others of our truth as a, less than perfect, way of convincing ourselves.

When outside truth collides with our own, we disown all other truths and reaffirm the one we own.

 We are constantly defining ourselves inside our own truth, and are baffled when this never leads to our un-defining moment.

Maybe this will help us to see it....

Joe at work, brings to you an outside truth that you are an arsehole and need to suffer.
Instinctively you reject Joe`s truth and disown it and Joe and the horse he rode in on.

Joe is adamant that his truth is the right truth and you are equally convinced that your truth is the correct one.  By disowning Joe`s exterior truth you have reinforced your own interior truth.

You feel as if Joe has trapped you. But it was your choice to trap yourself.

The common reaction is to draw a line in the sand and go to war.

The hope is that whoever wins the war will win because their truth was right.
And yet every truth ever invented can be exposed as a lie, given time.

So you actually become the arsehole that Joe said you were right from the beginning.

Truth prevails. You lose again.

To be continued...

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 20, 2012, 09:34:01 PM
                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                         Part 40 continued

                                         Choosing sides

When we have a point to view from we inevitably have a point of view.

"I like these, but I don`t like those. I`m for this, but I`m against that. I believe in this and this, but I don`t believe in that and that. I want this, but I don`t want that. I am this and this and this, but I am not that and that and that. I could be described as this and this. But I couldn`t be described as that."

Have you noticed how no babies are consulted on the news regarding their opinion on the big issues of the day?  It would be pointless. The baby hasn`t had time to form a point of view.

So no one takes babies points of view seriously. Because babies don`t take the big issues of the day seriously. They just aren`t playing that game.

When we resurrect our experiences, we allow ourselves to see only the experiences that formed who we are. Or more correctly "who we are" only gets the exact answer that "who we have become" can ask.

So we get zip on babyhood, maths classes, and sermons. These are times when you were exterior. But you can`t recall them from the viewpoint you have become.

Who you have become doesn`t get to see the memories of someone we didn`t become.

If you could experience the character building memories of  someone named Joe you`d completely understand why Joe said you were an arsehole who deserved to be punished.

Because you have become the net result of your own experiences you know the truth is that Joe is the arsehole.

Uncross your eyes and get this.

If one melted down every harsh word ever said, and every act of punishment or retribution ever metered out, and reduced it to its lowest denominator....

If you were to cut through all the bullshit and justification behind every conflict anywhere ever,

What you would be left with this...

                               "You are less than perfect !!!!"


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 22, 2012, 06:38:33 AM
                                               SENSE OF WONDER

                                                   Part 41

                                               How to avoid coming out

If circumstances cause our identity to confront its own mortality it will instinctively make a grab for self preservation. The way it does this is to manufacture time.

"Yes. I will die.... But not in the present moment. It will happen at another time way up in the future."

Now the identity can ponder death from a safe distance.

Since death is just an exteriorization from form, one sees that death is an undesirable inevitability with no perceived benefit.

This is why people can be threatened with death.
And when they are, there is an instinctive effort to delay it.
Faced with death, one tends to struggle and fight and urinate and beg.

But then they wonder why they can`t exteriorize.

They can`t because they don`t want to.

If you believe that you are the identity you have created then I`m afraid you are stuck in it, and nothing short of destruction of the body will pry you out.

Once you are out of the body, nothing matters and nothing is true.
Just like when you achieve present moment awareness and connect your breathing.

Or hadn`t that occurred to you yet?

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 24, 2012, 09:05:28 AM
                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                                  Part 42

                                   "I`m okay. You`re the arsehole."

When men of faith debate life with men of science, they share their differing points of view and each
come away enlightened and the world is a better place for it.

Actually... that isn`t what happens at all.

A few centuries ago the men of faith could have the men of science tortured till they recanted and then burnt at the stake, just as a sort of an exclamation point.
 Apparently they hadn`t learned that torture and putting to death a martyr, was the very action that the enemies of their faith had used to dis-empower themselves.

So when Science meets faith one has the collision of two incompatible truth bubbles.

Science has the circumstances and evidence to prove that their truth bubble is the right one and time
will only provide more circumstances and experience to show they are the clear winners.

Faith has the circumstances and evidence to prove that their truth bubble is the right one and time
will only provide more circumstances and experiences to show they are the clear winners.

Science has the power to blow up everything God made.
And God has the power to create the things that science can blow to pieces.

A marriage made in heaven ...or a test tube, depending on your own personal truth bubble.

So lets move forward in time till when the first Sea org contracts are expiring.

Here we are the year one billion, two thousand and twelve.

Science and religion, as they existed a billion years ago, no longer exist.

 From the comfort of our house on Mars we have a disagreement on a phone (that finally works)
with someone who has a truth bubble that is incompatible with our own.

So once again TRUTH is the clear winner.
It has given us something to kill and be killed over for a further billion years.

So what ? .... You ask.

Well ....Our belief in the truth is all that is keeping us killing and being killed.

God and science were created to justify it.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 25, 2012, 08:30:05 AM
                                                     SENSE OF WONDER

                                                              Part 43

                                                         God the scientist

What has obscured the exit from the labyrinth of life is our present perspective on what an exit should look like.

For an identity that has obsessed with self preservation, the exit is invisible, because what the self is seeking to perpetuate is the the perimeter fence of the labyrinth.

It is like trying to go from here to there. As soon as you are there, are are here again.

The identity that is seeking to escape the labyrinth wants to be free outside the labyrinth but take the prisoner identity with it.

The reason you aren`t being who you could be is that you instinctively take who you are being with you everywhere you go.

Who you are being is what gives you a life..... and inevitably a death. Your address is Mortality Row.

When your tenure is up, regardless of your faith and regardless of the letters behind your name, you find yourself ill prepared for the eviction.

There is absolutely nothing in your circumstances, experiences, or location on the map, that is of any benefit. Everything you perceived that you were is redundant.

The labyrinth de-materializes.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 26, 2012, 07:34:30 AM
                                                  SENSE OF WONDER

                                                       Part 44

                                            Spending the night in Heaven

The subject matter here has no grounding in circumstances and experiences.
So does one take the lead from organized religion and rely on FAITH?

I mean for the individual, it is a big deal. One`s whole future is created on the basis of the truth one resides in.

This truth is something the identity holds onto with such tenacity that it makes super glue look like snot.

So one has one identity, One life , and one point of view.

But look what happens when one turns  off their identification with their truth bubble....

All sorts of other potential identifications and potential realities and experiences come to life.

If it all gets a bit out of hand, the dominant truth bubble, with circumstances and experiences, intervenes and calms down the whole situation ... "It was only a dream. None of it was real. Here... look now that the lights are on. Remember you are Joe`s number one enemy. You are an age. You have a job. You have an address ...A specific place and time to reside in.
You like Abba."
 The current truth bubble one is residing in, will override all other potential truths and all other potential realities. All your less than perfectness is back.

One experiences great relief and a sense of security. 

One has woken up to reality !!!!

One ceases to be who they could be and nestles back into who they are being.

Yet when one attains present moment awareness, it becomes obvious that having a one dimensional
point of view that was less than  perfect, was the dream.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 27, 2012, 07:58:31 AM
                                                 SENSE OF WONDER

                                                        Part 45

                                                 Living on a fault line

Millions of words have been said and written about forgiveness.
Apparently it is a very therapeutic thing to do. We have been taught that we must forgive ourselves and others for all the wrong done to us.

Actually all this has done is proven that it is easier to give advice than to take it.

From outside of the effects of the wrongdoers actions, we cannot see why it is hard to forgive and forget.
However when it is our home that is under siege this idea of forgiveness is rejected as inappropriate, given the situation. In fact we will even struggle to forgive the condescending Pratt, who was naive enough to suggest it.

Any perceived wrongdoing is actually a collision with the expectations our truth bubble has molded for us.

Ironically any thoughts of forgiveness is evidence that forgiveness is a complete pretense.

Forgiveness is transferring a wrongdoing to the "too hard basket" and adding it to the dialog we have for our therapist later on, or knocking our blood pressure up a few clicks for the medical people to medicate.

Where we reside is an accumulation of injustices we have perceived.
The wrongdoing we have been the victim of is what has made us who we think we are.

We can`t be the one who forgives. Because what one is forgiving is who is doing the forgiving.

That leaves us without a residence.

When Joe announces, that because we are an arsehole who needed to be punished, he has burnt down our residence, our opportunity to forgive him can only present itself because we resided where his act of arson was inflicted.

That opportunity is inappropriate when we find amusingly, that Joe burnt down the wrong house.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 28, 2012, 08:01:34 AM
                                                    SENSE OF WONDER

                                                        Part 46

                                                     That`s all fine. But...

In our human form we are living in a contradiction.
We want to be free but the we, we are being is defined.

How can we take away our defining identity and still know who we have freed.

The thing that has motivated us to escape our confines is that we often wind up unable to live as who we are being.  Who we are being is unable to experience the potential benefit that who we are being has now made us aware of.

Being depressed has inspired us to seek happiness.
Being broke has inspired us to seek wealth.
Being lonely has inspired us to seek love.
Being sick has inspired us to seek health.
Being ignorant has inspired us to seek knowledge.
Being afraid has inspired us to seek confidence and security.
Being mortal has inspired us to seek immortality.

All philosophy. All religion all the self help books that have been available up till now have
been dreamed up to take the depressed broke, lonely, sick, ignorant, afraid, mortal you and turn you into the happy, wealthy, loved, healthy, knowledgeable, confident, immortal, you.

Just follow these four easy steps;

1.) Admit you are a sinner and accept Jesus Christ as your savior.
2.) Fake it till you make it.
3.) Work hard to achieve excellence.
4.) Pay money.

And yet we discover that no matter how much we sinned and repented, and how much we faked it, and no matter how hard we worked , or how much money we spent, as our truth bubble disintegrates,
or as Frank Sinatra sang it, we "face the final curtain, none of any of it has
made a shit of difference. Nothing we though or did prevented the end.

In fact it is what brought about "The end."

To be continued...


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 29, 2012, 08:06:21 AM
                                 SENSE OF WONDER

                                    Part 48 continued...

                                    Layers of clothing

So as humans we want to take all of our clothes off, but don`t want the world to see our naughty bits.

This modesty is a physical manifestation of our spiritual dilemma.

It goes by the name "Self conscious."

Clothing oneself is so deeply ingrained into our psyches, that if you were to be stranded on a desert island wanting more than anything to be rescued, all you`d have to do is start working on your all over tan and sure as anything someone will show up.

And if you are too comfortable with that, instead of writing "H E L P" in coconuts on the beach, write a description of your most embarrassing sexual misadventure.

Before long, your desire not to share your secret with the world, will cause a plane to start circling.

Interestingly we would rather keep our secrets than be rescued.

Death with dignity wins over a life of shame every time.

We are so self obsessed that we even desire to be remembered fondly after our deaths.

The futility of this can be clearly seen by walking through any old cemetery and seeing the vandalized and neglected "always in our thoughts" headstones.

Is this going somewhere?

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on November 30, 2012, 07:17:49 AM
                                        SENSE OF DOUBT

                                            D Part

                                         Making a point

It is quite a surreal experience to communicate from a point of view when the point is there is no view to point from. It is only by being nothing that one can point at nothing.
Because from the instant you are something you can point to something else.

So what I`m trying to do here is be something and point at nothing.

When one first enters and focuses on this four dimensional realm, one has no conscience.
As a toddler we have nothing to hide, and nothing to hide from.

We don`t even see our body as representative of our self.
We have no problems. We have no identity for problems to be seen from.
An example would be nakedness. Because we have not yet identified with the body, we don`t connect its modesty with a self.

But as we allow Time and space to manifest we start to cotton on to the fact that the circumstances and experiences that surround us , are unique to us.

Nobody but our self, knows exactly how essential it is that we possess that new toy.

One cannot be determined unless one becomes self determined.
One cannot be ish. First one needs to be a self and then one can be selfish.

We gradually evolve from not being no body to becoming some body.

There is probably no better therapy anywhere in this world than being in the presence of a baby at bath time.  Just tune into the sense of joy and wonder that baby has as it explores its anchor points.
Those little legs and arms flailing around with all the excitement and anticipation it can muster.
Place your ear against its breath. Wow !.... Watch out it doesn`t bite.

The baby in its naivety is willing to experience anything.

Picture the naked baby laying next to a senior citizen.
The entrance door and the exit door separated only by a life time.

Apparently prolonged exposure to life is the soul cause of death.

Every baby is perfection.... on the road to imperfection.

Its first steps are becoming conscious of a self. From that perspective one is now self conscious.
That self conscientiousness is inevitably less than perfect, because the viewpoint itself is the imperfection.

Once one has eaten from the tree of life, against all advice, one is left with a conscience.
Shame, regret, guilt, remorse, embarrassment, doubt, fear, forgetfulness, resentment, pessimism, deprivation, gullibility, hate.

And we wonder why we don`t have a perfect world.

It is only because we come from perfection that our imperfect self can exist.

We spend our time here accusing each other of only one thing.
Being less than perfect.

Meanwhile our self is trying to hide our imperfect selves.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 01, 2012, 07:55:38 AM
                                             SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 50

                                          The genesis of dis ease.

Probably the most traumatic insult we can be given is "Oh...Grow up!"

Closely followed by "Act your age!"

We discover that if we want to get approval and fit in, we need to conform, and play by the rules.

To do otherwise is to be ostracized and ridiculed.

This phenomenon has caused many an artist to suffer from all sorts of personality disorders and self worth issues.
But what isn`t generally understood as that we are all artists. Some retain their artistic integrity while the majority become bullshit artists.

Those who abandon their artistic integrity have realized that if they cease creating, there will be nothing of theirs to be held up for scorn.

Were you aware that an artist`s biggest fans are other artists !?
It`s because they understand how vulnerable the creator of the art has rendered themselves.

Meanwhile those who have abandoned their own artistic integrity are blind to the perfect vulnerability and perceive the artist as in invulnerable target for criticism.

The more scathing the criticism, the more the critic has hidden their own vulnerability.
This fashion has desensitized us from feeling another`s pain.

A perfectly good excuse to destroy them.

     "We can only destroy others to the extent we have destroyed ourselves."

And as always, the criticism is that one is "less than perfect."

And it kind of makes sense.

If we destroy , eradicate, belittle, outlaw, blow up, bankrupt, assault, quarantine, imprison, pollute, divorce, exterminate everything that is less than perfect, there will be an end to less than perfection.
Thirty billion years later and  the war for peace is still going strong.

Good news is just around the next corner.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 05, 2012, 11:05:37 PM
                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                              Part 51

                                  Wait and see vs See and wait.

I hope this doesn`t come as a disappointment but after all this reading, after all this time,
I now must tell you that there is no benefit to be obtained. Getting to this chapter as all been for nothing.

In fact , if you got some benefit from reading this I have failed as a communicator.
My desire was for you to come away from what you`ve read so far with nothing.

Look you can get any old book randomly from the library and find you can benefit from it.
Even if it`s only a work of fiction. You can come away with the benefit of being entertained.
With a non fiction book you can benefit by knowing how to cook the perfect pasta dish, or tie knots.
Or at least benefit from knowing that the book was useless and now be better informed about how not to get the benefit you desired.

From Buddha to Doctor Phil, the unspoken message was that "there must be a benefit", or why else do it?!

Everything you have ever read, studied thought or listened to was advice on how to create the perfect world. Even that stupidest of all books, The Bible, is all about some morons vision of the perfect world.

Don`t even get me started with the Koran.

Millions of well meaning beings have gone to their graves confident that they have made the world a better place. Our whole motivation has been benefit.

"If only we could all do this and this there will be a benefit at the end...I promise."

I`m not stupid... I know how much it pisses people off to announce that their whole existence here has been a waste of TIME.

But that`s all it has been.

"But what about all we have learned through science? Millions are alive today due to the benefits of medical science..."

And pray tell... where are they all tomorrow?

As dead as door knobs. Medical science has just bought people some more TIME.
Oh... and allowed people to live without feeling their pain.

The way to become aware of one`s enlightenment is to abandon their addiction to unenlightenment.

I`m afraid that enlightenment will remain beyond your grasp to the extent that you take your unenlightened self seriously.

Remember how I`ve been suggesting that you take twenty minutes per day and do nothing except be aware of your breathing....?

The reason you haven`t been doing it properly is that you couldn`t see the benefit.

Plus as you know not one of the great dead philosophers ever mentioned any benefit in doing it.

I`m sure you can find a lot of agreement out there from random strangers that there is no circumstances or evidence to suggest that any benefit can be gained from doing something for no benefit.

In fact that`s all you`ll ever see. And it goes for all TIME.......  Seriously !!!

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 06, 2012, 08:24:18 PM
                                             SENSE OF WONDER

                                                  Part 52

                                              Why on Earth...?

The reason you are stuck here and incarnate is because since recorded history we have all been subjected to a constant barrage of mind control in the ultimate conspiracy.

  This is a conspiracy so insidious that it makes the assassination of JFK, the demolition of the Twin towers and the Da Vinci code, seem like jokes without a punch line.

The subject matter I`m about to divulge for the first time ever is the hardest thing I`ve tried to put into words. Let me explain.

What I`m trying to communicate here can`t be seen from a viewpoint or a mind.

I get flashes of it. But as soon as I try to organize it in my mind, what I have leaves my vicinity, twists around and comes back as something else. Yet it is still the same thing. Just a different angle on it.

So this is history in the making and it may take a few different takes before it becomes part of the consciousness.

Just wanted to go on record as taking the first tentative steps on behalf of us all on the road outta here...

Please forgive me if I stumble around a bit. Or if I write myself into a few corners.

From here on, for those who chose to stay with this be advised there is nothing to be gained from it.
There is absolutely zero benefit in what I`m about to say. 

The only reason to read any further is for pure unadulterated fun.

So to get the ball rolling we have two seemingly dis related concepts. They will soon become more.

Firstly we have the concept of doing something which has no perceivable benefit, and the other is a conspiracy that not even the conspirators are aware of.

Fun existed before recorded history began.

 And your personal fun existed before your personal recorded history began.

This is why it is so difficult to explain and why it is the perfect conspiracy.
There is no memory of it because it existed before there was a mind to record it.

The mind was created because it was perceived to be of benefit.

Let`s take your own personal story so that you can get in tune with this.

There was a time, before you can remember, where you loved pretty much everyone and pretty much everyone loved you.

Yes.... You were little and cute and didn`t particularly pose a threat to anyone.

But you didn`t know that at the time.

What you desired was always brought to you and you were only too happy to deliver what was desired from you.

You had no desire to have a life then. There was too much fun to be had.

What a buzz it must have been to get so much attention and approval for every little thing you did.

What you couldn`t have been aware of back then was that you were falling victim
 to the greatest conspiracy that existed since time began.

Little did you know that you were being groomed to become somebody.

The trap the conspirators had laid had a zillion names but behind everyone of them was the unspoken bait.... benefit.

All the conspirators knew that you would benefit from learning to walk and talk.
The conspirators wanted nothing for you but that which would benefit you.

Their hopes and dreams were that you would turn out normal.
Later on when you turned out normal they were always bitterly disappointed with you for being too normal.

It never occurred to you that you would need to be anything at all.
But you gave them the benefit of the doubt.

I want to leave that hanging there for now.

At that young age you could potentially become anything.

But over time due to perceived benefit you began to limit your options.

You begin to become something specific. And as you read this the odds on you becoming anything other than what you are, is almost zero.

To return to zero you`d have to abandon everything you had benefited from.

Benefiting from something is so ingrained in you that to do something that had no perceived benefit would leave you so mixed up that you`d have little other to do than have fun.

Chances are you are so tangled up in this conspiracy that you believe that you can also benefit by having fun.

And yet if you think about the time when you were a kid and still hadn`t learned the benefits of taking yourself seriously, you may get glimpses of doing stuff with other kids just for fun.

You may recall that these other kids were your friends simply because they were there.
It was just fun hanging out with them. You weren`t their friend because it would benefit them.
And they weren`t your friends because there was some perceived benefit for you.

                                 "Adults are just dead children"

                                                                             Michael Brown.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 07, 2012, 08:09:34 AM
                                             SENSE OF WONDER

                                                Part 53

                                             Who shot fun?

As I give examples of how this conspiracy works, it is inevitable that one will think of instances that appear to contradict what I`m saying. This is all part of the conspiracy.

For a magician or an illusionist to perform the seemingly impossible, something must remain unseen.

The illusion can only persist as long as how it is done remains hidden.

Life is the ultimate illusion. 

Life is the physical manifestation of thought.  Thought is the slave of emotion and feelings.

So one might ask... Why then do some people die while appearing to be having fun.

Alright, let`s get started with this....

Life appears to come to an end due to a system failure.
But what preceded that system failure was a thought.

That thought was that this life has no further prospects for fun.

But the thought process was for a perceived benefit.

The mind cannot conceive of fun. It uses benefit as a shoddy substitute.

A mind owner looks for benefit.
A non mind owner just has fun.

Mind owners asses everything on the basis of what benefit it is.

So a life time that starts out as fun is gradually replaced by drudgery until it is so unbearable the host
abandons it.

Look at the world.

Billions of dollars have been sent to poor countries for their benefit.
Now all that is required is that billions more be sent.

Benefit it a bottomless pit.

And all the decisions that you dreamed up were to benefit you and others.
So why are others never satisfied with you?

Why is your marriage, job, status, career, health, financial situation, energy level, community, workplace, parents, children, political agenda, religion, life, a constant source of disappointment.

Surely all that surrounds you was put there for everyone`s benefit.

Parents always remind their kids how they got where they are today "without all the benefits you kids have."

But the kid didn`t have the circumstances and experiences the parent had. And can clearly see they actually produced no benefit at all. The kid sees something the parent takes so seriously as a pile of horse shit.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 08, 2012, 07:59:28 AM
                                             SENSE OF DOUBT

                                               Part 54

                                             The pain you aren`t in.

Let me state again that there is no benefit in reading what I am writing and nothing to be gained by doing the present moment conscious breathing for twenty minutes a day.

Both activities are pure fun. Or at least their fun content will reveal themselves as one allows them to be revealed.

By staying present moment aware during the breathing, all one is doing is losing stuff. By stuff I mean silly ideas one has believed in. Sometimes these silly ideas are thousands of years old.

Let`s say you are a strong believer in the philosophy extant in the year zero.
It`s all written up in a big thick book and the fact that their is no passage you can read in it that justifies why anyone would accept every other passage carte blanche.
For one thing it has different authors.

It may begin to dawn on you that you have lost every other bit of technology that was popular two thousand years ago.... except philosophy.

Look around a believers home. Look at their workplace and life style.

Absent is two thousand year old building technology. Absent also is the two thousand year old methods for dentistry, medicine, plumbing, boat building, clothing, heating, sewage, bridge building, crop production, animal husbandry, farming, transportation, astronomy, telecommunications, publishing,mail delivery, etc..etc..

If everything that was needed to be known was known two thousand years ago, why are Mormons riding bicycles and not donkeys?

If Jesus message was so important, why the fuck didn`t he write it down?
Maybe it had something to do with the fact that there is a better than 95% chance that he was illiterate.

The legendary Jesus was tried and sentenced to eternal death for challenging the bullshit of the organized religion of his day.  Same is what would happen now.

The real message of Jesus was that organized religion is the antithesis of enlightenment.
His dead and tortured body hanging off the cross has come to symbolize him dying for our sins.
However if one loses the mythology, one sees what is actually there, a man tortured and put to death by of the sins of organized religion.
He must have been out of his mind to challenge the authority of the church. So must you be.

Meanwhile I need to explain why I`m bringing this subject up at all.

It`s because your whole lack of enlightenment is wrapped up in the ultimate "benefit betrayal."

Organized religion is the origin of the benefit conspiracy.

" You are less than perfect. You will benefit by believing what organized religion tells you."

"Just think.... If you do what we say, which is quite varied and changeable, then you will one day
be someone who has won God`s favor. You`re reward is you will be free from death.
This you will discover to be true after you die. Trust us. Have faith. Give money."

So many of us believe this crap that it must be true !!!

Seriously true. Eternally deprived of life true. Bereft of FUN true.

Of course as a child of God you will be restricted to the children's room in heaven.
Only the heads of organized religion will get to bunk with God in the adults dormitory.

Still better to be a second rate resurrection than a first rate Pratt.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 09, 2012, 07:46:02 AM
                                     SENSE OF WONDER

                                          Part 55

                                      Removing the mask.

Inevitably as one deprograms themselves, a sense of irreverence is resurrected.

We are aware that we exist independently of any creation story.

It was only impossible to see a creation story when one is looking through it.

But one can look clearly at a creation story, that one isn`t living, and have the same irreverence for it that present moment awareness will meet out to all creation stories.

When hearing the creation story of the Dogon people of Africa, despite the fact it is carved decoratively
in wood, it is quite plainly illogical and quite loopy.  But not to the Dogon people. To them it is the word of God....Or at least one of his close representatives. Who also happens to be the Blacksmith and performs female circumcision on all the little girls in the village. Why ? Because their ancestors, who were illiterate, and had un mutilated genitalia, said it was so.

If you tell the Dogon people your real creation story, they will think you are as silly as a woman with an un mutilated clitoris.

That`s why one has to torture enslave, and eradicate them.... Like the fans of the one true loving Christian God used to.

By reclaiming ones true self, one exists independently of any creation story or ultimate truth.

                                                 THE REAL CREATION STORY

" I believed it, and thus it was so."

                                                How to uncreate your self.

Resist the temptation to believe what is so.

As you sit there doing your twenty minutes of connected breathing, `what is so` will be like a group of excited school children beckoning you to come and play with them.

Now just say to them "I`ll come and play when I`ve finished doing nothing."

They will regroup like a herd of crusaders and start fucking with you all over again.

When that fails, they`ll bring in your old Aunt Dolly and start to torture her unless you come and play.
You`ll be amazed at the lengths you will go to to recreate yourself over and over again.

So how come there is only one true creation story, when everything you believe has to be constantly re created?

"If you truly love your creation story, set it free. If it loves you, it will come back. If it doesn`t it never did."

             Smiley face.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 10, 2012, 07:52:19 AM
                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 56

                                             Life, with benefits.

We have ended up being who we are being because of all the benefits we pursued.
That`s right!
This is why it is so difficult to reach enlightenment.
To do that, one has to deconstuct the self that one is being. Because the self that one is being is unenlightenment made manifest.

It seems like it is merely a play on words. But if you were enlightened you wouldn`t need words to know this.

Okay some examples...

We became introverted because it benefited us not to suffer the consequences of being extroverted.
We became old and wise so as not to suffer any longer at the hands of youthful ignorance.
We became uncaring so as to avoid the responsibilities associated with caring.
We became tough so as not to be exploited for our weakness.
We became cynical to protect ourselves from our own over optimistic dreams.
We become dead when life holds no further perceived benefit.

Look to test this out. Just ask some sweet little old lady on the bus what should be done with pedophiles.

Then forget what you asked and just take in how savage we have become.

"They should be hung! There should be public flogging. They should have their cocks burnt off with a red hot poker. They should be put in jail and throw away the key. They should be hacked into little pieces and burnt at the stake. I`d do it myself. They should be murdered."

Wow !!!!

So you`d be willing to do something to another human being worse than fiddling with their naughty bits.

You see what I`m getting at? The identity one has grown into is a fucken killer, given the correct provocation. Even sweet little old ladies.

Ask the little old lady to tell you about her very first kiss. Or maybe a game of Doctors and nurses.
Maybe it happened behind the bike shed at school.  He was seven.

Then ask her how she cured herself of pedophilia.

Do this as the bus is pulling up at your stop.

No. I haven`t gone all Catholic. Just making a point.

Enough of this serious shit.
Let`s have some fun.

The self riotous selves we have become, we became because we thought it would benefit us.
Each individual is a seething, writhing , mass of accumulated benefits.

And we take that constructed self to the grave. Everyone does it. So it must be the unavoidable truth.

Death liberates us from our selves. It is the unavoidable deconstruction of accumulated benefit. Dead people are never interviewed on TV chat shows.
Because there is just no benefit in it.

But it is a forced deconstruction. A bit like being falsely accused of being a pedophile.

Your reputation is destroyed. You are totally vulnerable. There is no defense. No potential benefit is perceived. The world has no time for you. All that is left is fun.... with no benefits.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 12, 2012, 12:16:44 AM
                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                                   Part 57

                                    Evicting the enemy inside of you.

Why is it so damned hard to have fun? Especially when our self is constantly being attacked and undermined by people hell bent on making us miserable.

When we interact with someone else who we are in harmony with, we don`t really give the encounter a second thought.
But when we leave the vicinity of someone who wants to do us in, we do give it a second thought. And a third and a forth....

We end up writing whole scripts in our heads. The dialog is intense. It takes up so much of our attention that our awareness of present time is just a poorly painted prop in the background of a completely made up dramatic stage play.

The greatest minds that exist, have had thousands of years to work on this.
One should be able to go to the local library and find the answer on how to still have fun while you are surrounded by completely fucked up, retarded evil arseholes, who won`t listen to reason.

One could be forgiven for thinking that the great advisors on this subject obviously never had to deal with the sadistic, arrogant, cunt who is on your case.

Then you find out that the authors of "how to get on with others" technology, were involved in their own feuds.  After thousands of years of benefiting from everything discovered about  getting on with arseholes, even the most educated of us, still can`t resist the temptation to exterminate them.

Deep inside of us we know the perfect way that we should be treated.
When someone treats us less than perfectly, we can list off every aspect of how imperfect their treatment of us was. We can tell our friends and they will agree with us.
We have done something beneficial. We have warned our friends that they will benefit by not interacting with such a less than perfect person.

We have drawn a line in the sand.

   Our efforts to keep less than perfect out, is actually what is holding less than perfect in.

"You`ll know when you really hate someone because you will have become everything you hate about them."

So if you think it would be fun to evict your enemies, next time someone gets to you, do your present moment awareness breathing. Do it till they are evicted. If they try to move back in, evict them again.

Be aware that there is absolutely no benefit for either party in you doing this.

The line in the sand will merely de-manifest....along with all the accompanying circumstances and experiences that also turned out to be of no benefit.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 12, 2012, 07:55:21 AM
                                                   SENSE OF WONDER

                                                      Part 58

                                                   First blood

When we are able to quiet the mind and maintain present moment awareness we aren`t aware of what is absent.

If we lose present moment awareness it is due to what was absent replacing our peace of mind.

This has deeper ramifications than are immediately apparent. But given TIME these ramifications will manifest.

With perfect present moment awareness , absent is; regret, anger, frustration, resentment, betrayal,
avarice, greed, depression, lethargy, jealousy, fear, hate, status, confusion, despondency, shame, or any of the other emotions that substitute for being human.

All these emotions exist only because the truth bubble we put there for our benefit , never benefited us at all.

The truth bubble has just given you something to protect.

Our desire to protect it is what creates every single enemy we have.

When someone accuses us of being less than perfect, rather than admit to ourselves that they are potentially correct, we close ranks and do all manner of things to keep our truth bubble in existence and send them out of existence.

Every conflict you read about, hear about , witness or experience is your truth bubble fighting to stay alive. It has no integrity, it has no honor. It cares not for any life other than its own.

Your truth bubble is what got you into every fight, argument or, disagreement that ever pissed you off.

Your truth bubble is willing to sacrifice you and those you`d otherwise love, to protect you from the horrors of enlightenment.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 14, 2012, 07:38:51 AM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                                Part 59

                                         "Say no to benefit."

The benefit conspiracy is what has created the world we live in.
And I don`t know if you`ve noticed, but the world we live in isn`t much fun.

It has created the mindset of "What`s in it for me?"

It has driven people, you share life with, to stampeding over other people`s kids at sales at the mall.

Benefit has put grim faced people in cars stuck in traffic on the motorway.

The manufactured belief in benefit is what has created "us vs them."

Every evil, underhanded, selfish, act was dreamed up by a mind under the influence of benefit.

Some may say..."But that`s just life. That`s how it works."

....  I rest my case.

A mind infected with the benefit virus will put its host to work for its whole life.
And at the end of that life one is abandoned by that mind and present moment awareness is restored.
A present moment consciousness knows that benefit is an illusion and that absent that, the world is full of joy and wonder.

...Which is a real fun thing.

So am I saying that people should stop doing things that benefit them ?

Hell no. Unless it isn`t fun.

All the things you were struggling with for the perceived benefit will cease to be a struggle once they are fun.

Pretending that a desire will benefit one, is what holds that desire in the future.
Pursuing something because it`s fun will allow the desire to manifest now.

Just feel the difference between say... getting fit because of some perceived benefit...
Or getting fit because it is fun.

    "Give me FUN or give me death!!!"

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 14, 2012, 07:03:16 PM
                                             SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 60


So what exactly is fun and where can I get some? You may well ask.

For some, fun is drinking vast amounts of alcohol and then sharing ones imagined skills on the dance floor.
For others it is teasing a girl at school till she commits suicide.
What about a family holiday with the kids? That should be a source of fun.
Beating the crap out of the opposing team in business or sports. Man that must be fun.
What about teaching some unsuspecting victim everything you know about stuff they never wanted to know.

Fun !  Fun ? Fun ...

"Fun is for suckers. It`s a seriously fucked up world out there and if you don`t agree, I`ll fuck with you till you do."

How about I just tell you what fun is...

Or would you rather spend the other half of eternity trying to find it?

Okay just for fun.... Let`s see if I can put the fun back in fundamental.

                               Fun is what exists before and after seriousness.

Fun is absent seriousness. 

Fun is always there. But you can`t see it if you are serious.

Anything not being fun is proof positive that someone seriously fucked up.

So won`t it be fun learning how to restore a basic fundamental of existence....

But first let`s see why fun was replaced by seriousness.

Let`s take Joe for example. 

Joe used to have fun. There seemed to be no end to the fun that was available.
Joe, who is now old and serious, will tell you about the fun he used to have.

"Sure things were tough, but we had fun. Man we sure had fun."

But Joe obscured his own fun with the potential benefit of more fun.

So now fun had a price. Joe figured he could forsake fun, knuckle down, work and study, pass his exams, and then from the benefit of his new identity he could have more fun than before.

So he put off having fun so he could enjoy more fun later.

He imagined himself having fun in his new job... But the fun never materialized.
So Joe figured he`d get married. Then he could benefit by having someone make him feel whole.
But that ended up just making him feel a whole lot worse.

So Joe perceived a benefit from having kids. Now Joe could have someone look up to him.
But the kids just couldn`t see the benefit in looking up to someone...They were too busy having fun.

So Joe kept on pursuing fun.
But he never had as much fun as he`d had by not pursuing it.

You see the problem Joe didn`t understand was that by believing that the fun was greener in the other paddock, Joe set himself up to be deprived of the fun he left behind, in pursuit of the fun he would ultimately deprive himself of where the perceived benefit was.

Joe now has a lifetime of being disappointed.  No.. not you dear reader.  Joe !!!

Joe knows that if he looks under the next rock he will find fun, happiness, and fulfillment.

But there was a once upon a `before time`, that happy, fulfilled, Joe, looked under rocks because it was simply a fun thing to do.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 15, 2012, 08:27:49 AM
                                               SENSE OF WONDER

                                                     Part 61

                                       The loneliest place in existence

So how does one have fun? 

Simply by not having serious.

This one has to do alone.

It is the loneliest place in existence. Since the world exists in its present form due to all participants being in on the conspiracy.... It is not as if everyone that knows of you, and is sworn to keeping the conspiracy going, will just let you blow the whole deal.

All selves have a vested interest in keeping the game of life going. There is imagined great benefit in doing so.  When earthbound observers detect anyone having fun, the tribal instinct is to teach that irreverent smart arse a serious lesson.

 And if they won`t recant and confess their sins they are tortured. If it is a hopeless case then they are put to death. It all makes perfect sense when expressed in dollars and cents.

The main complaint of the angry mob , apart from the fact that the fun lover is less then perfect, is that he/she is focusing the conspirators attention on something that simply does not exist.

Only the conspiracy exists. Enlightenment does not exist... "We can`t see it. It provides no benefit. It does not form part of our experience."

The conspirators have a vested interest in keeping everybody in the game.

"Grow up. Act your age. Get a job, pay your taxes, get married, have kids, get old and die. And shut the fuck up." (Pull Ally McBeal face.)

One day scientists will figure this all out and the world will be perfect again. But it`ll take some serious research and some serious money along with some serious time. Of course when that discovery is made, those who can`t see the sense in it will need to be tortured and put to death.... For their own benefit.

Okay. Uncross your eyes.

Sit motionless in a distraction free space and focus on drawing in each breath and exhaling it.
Do it for about twenty minutes daily.

Think of nothing. The conspirators will not help you. They have filled your head with the benefits of being unenlightened.  They are serious fucken guys.

You are one of them.

You will find no strength or encouragement from anything in existence.

This is something you can only do alone. Fun will not encourage, nor discourage you.
It exists before and after seriousness.

There is nothing to be gained from doing this.

It`s all about losing stuff. Stuff that you held onto for its benefit.

You will be undoing the conspiracy and deconstructing the identity you believed you have benefited from.

Like the identity that can`t play a musical instrument. Like the identity that will never let anyone close to them again. Like the identity that never got over that time they were humiliated.
You will discard that identity that knows doing anything is hopeless.

You will lose that identity that has certain subjects that aren`t talked about.
You will lose the identity that has kept you from laughing like you did as a kid.
You will lose that identity that isn`t interested in learning anything?
You will lose the identity that harbors the burden you are carrying.
You will lose the identity that needs to belittle, torture, and kill others.

You will lose that identity that just can`t be bothered losing itself.

If you think that would be fun.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 15, 2012, 12:23:52 PM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                               Part 62

                                            Inside out

The thing that is anchoring you inside of a self, is what you have taken on board from outside of the self you have created.

It doesn`t help that you took your self seriously.

Your efforts at taking back control of your mind, retaining present moment consciousness, and removing seriousness from your truth bubble will be met by a valiant effort by the identity you erroneously call me, to hold onto you.

It will be trying to convince you that it alone can bring you what you are willing to experience.

If you ignore that warning it will poke you with the things you are unwilling to experience. There is some serious shit in that package.

What you will start to realize that what you are unwilling to experience has been ruling your life.
Previously you just obeyed it.  You lit that cigarette, ate that donut, gossiped about your neighbor, stole that bike, avoided getting up on a stage, argued with your partner, said bad things about politicians,
got shit faced at social functions....etc.

But NOW you have to be willing to just experience what you are unwilling to experience without reacting to it.
Hold your space.

It`s done alone. No one and nothing can help you.

The fun will trickle through. It was there before you got serious and it will be there when you cease being serious.

Great wisdom and understanding will accompany the fun.

Or you could just think about all this later. Maybe go to Tibet. Pay a brilliant psychiatrist to help you to feel comfortable with being part of the conspiracy.

Or you could pray to God. Better still ask Santa to bring you something nice for Christmas to distract you from any notion of going free.

As you move closer to present moment awareness, all the above will be seen to be part of what kept it out of you.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 15, 2012, 02:03:08 PM
                                    SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 63

                                       Going home

The material we are going to be navigating through here is where it is at.

The raw stuff of life.

As life uses all its resources to teach you a lesson, it is inevitable that you will be hit when and where you least expect it. There is no defense. Now if you want to quit, these things will continue to happen, but you won`t be aware of it. All you have learned will go into automatic and you will pack a sad or drink yourself blind, or organize support for the case against life for being so unfair to you in particular.

To continue on the road out it will be a case of separating what your dire circumstances are and the effect they are having on you specifically.

Specifically you will get swamped with all that is less than perfect with the world.

The truth bubble will be highly offended by your lack of obedience. It will set the mind off on a circuitous journey of playing the latest for instance over and over.

"He said....  So I`ll say..... Then if he says ....   I`ll say...."

What is required now is that one resist the instinct to protect themselves from what they are unwilling to experience.

But it isn`t the manifestation of what one is unwilling to experience that we are dealing with on this level.

What we are dealing with NOW is the emotional turmoil that has possessed you.

So you drag that emotion into present time and convince yourself that it is handled.
But two minutes later you are back on the treadmill arguing with yourself all over again.
That frustration needs to be exorcised as well.

You`ll know what I`m talking about when it is happening to you.

There is a serious chunk of what you are unwilling to experience wrapped right around your soul.

If you could rip it out and make it manifest in your hands it would look disgustingly like cancer.

Who knows what it would have become if left untreated.

Your work now is to leave the manifestation alone and just be willing to experience it.

Your only concern is the emotion. The glue that holds the whole fucken mess together.

Drag it screaming and kicking into the bright fun light.

Once you are no longer unwilling to experience it, It will have no use for you.
You have lost identification with it. The world has lost a little piece of crazy.

The physical manifestation of it will dematerialize. The mind will cease the compulsion to re create it, and the soul will go...."Wow !!! That was fun.  Who`d have thought....."

All my love.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 15, 2012, 10:22:23 PM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                              Part 64

                                     Love, peace and forgiveness

Gee, if we had more of those things in the world, imagine what the world would be like.

All the great philosophers have come to the same conclusion.

Poets and songwriters have been promoting them... even after the debacle of the 60`s.

You wanna find out all about hate, war and revenge just go out into the world with your love, peace, and forgiveness, message.

Sure you may get a few claps at a rock concert. Other than that it is a hollow message preached by those who are trying to cure your issues rather than tackle their own.

For fucks sake, even the writer of "All you need is love" , John Lennon, slammed the door in his ex collaborator, Paul Mc Cartney`s face when he tried to make peace.

So here we go again ..breaking new ground.
It pisses me off that experts on everything that can quote really obscure references, to make doubly sure you know how fucken smart they are, couldn`t figure this out.
A little kid from Mangere armed with a "Dollar scholar" certificate from 1967 had to work it out because all other philosophies failed him.

So here it is.  Don`t worry it`ll be fun. You`ll see...


The self that is who you think you are, has an agenda. That agenda is to pursue and collect what it perceives as beneficial.
It will love someone with all your heart, until the said love interest deprives it of the specific kind of love it demanded in return. It makes perfect sense to the self to use all its tricks to get that love.
Some people even pretend to be interesting and nice.

If it is not returned, the self will not rest until it has convinced itself that it has educated the other non deliverer into being incapable of loving anyone else.
Yes I include suicide and murder in this dance of love.

Fuck that. If anyone is stupid enough to tell me that they love me... I say. "Keep your love. Just get me some smokes."

Why am I so cynical? Have I been hurt in love? Have I unresolved issues I need to talk over with the a professional ? 

Are you asking out of love?  If so.... Just get me some smokes.


Peace is a great idea. And should be spread around like angel dust except on your enemies.

The day God sucks the devils dick I`ll think about giving peace a chance.


"I forgive you."

What the fuck does that mean?

Does it mean what you did to piss me off never happened?
Does it mean that I maintain a higher station in life than you, and you conceding that, was really the objective?

Oh shit...I can`t be bothered...

Listen if someone formally forgives you. Tell them to say it again to cover the next time you repeat the same transgression since you are there.

Chances are they`ll refuse to forgive you for something you are going to do.

" So your forgiveness is conditional. Just like your love !!!

Well... Can you forgive me for something I`m not sorry for?"

"No. You have to be sorry first."

"So once again the forgiveness is conditional. That`s okay... I forgive you."

Look.... People are going to do what they`re going to do, because of what their experiences and circumstances dictate they do. Even pretending that love, peace and forgiveness are of any use whatsoever.

I know at the "end of the world conference" we`ll all be sitting around a huge table agreeing that love, peace and forgiveness, would have been all it took to make the world perfect.
Trouble is; love, peace and forgiveness will never make the "End of the world conference" materialize.

All the tables are ready, The napkins and water decanters are arranged on the once freshly ironed table clothes... But we are all too busy down here with hate , war and revenge.

That`s because our selves perceive them as beneficial.

Not you. The other guy.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 16, 2012, 07:28:32 AM
                                       SENSE OF WONDER

                                           Part 65

                                       Cooking up a storm.

When it comes to liberating oneself from War, Hate and revenge we can immediately see that we can change the world or change oneself.

Presently changing the world is the favored choice. I`m not sure which media outlet covers the victories in that battle.

But as for changing oneself. There are two things at play. Both are what are commonly called issues.
They are both concepts that have an agenda.

So when we look inwards from our outward looking perspectives, we really struggle.

We look in our Issue freezer , but don`t smell anything off.

It is only when our circumstances cut the power to our freezer that all our rotten meat starts to thaw.

Then we compulsively throw them on the stove with the heat turned up.

So we have stuff in the freezer and other hot issues boiling over on the stove.

And as we run around trying to put out the fire, the last thing we need is someone knocking on our door and talking about peace, love, and forgiveness.

This is a little analogy of why peace love and forgiveness are just fodder for greeting card companies and nothing more.

When one decides to go free, everything in the freezer will start to thaw out.
And it has about as much charm and sophistication as rotting meat.

So one sits there serenely doing the breathing and all sorts of bad smells keep demanding our attention.

Sometimes life`s circumstances will put us on the hot plate and, to be helpful the mind throws previously frozen meat into the cauldron.

If you have a situation where your capacity for peace love and forgiveness has been severely compromised, you will discover what a lonely world you really live in.
Thus the urge to share one`s problems with their friends.
Trouble is, friends then tell you about their problems as well...

If you do what they did then all your dreams will come true.

But do you see.... Now you are trying to change the world.

How can I get the world to accommodate my rotting meat?

So that is the easy way. That is the method currently in vogue.

The hard way is to just be there with your rotting meat, bring it into the
present, instead of bathing in the stew pot with it.

Just be there with it...Be willing to experience it, and it will dissolve to the extent that you are willing to be with it, without judgment.

This approach will ultimately empty out your whole freezer so you can go out and have some fun.

   Your issues are your issues because you identify with them.

     Once that identification is ended so is the need for love, peace and forgiveness.

They are replaced by FUN. Which was there before and after seriousness.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 17, 2012, 12:41:59 PM
                                                SENSE OF WONDER

                                                        Part 66

                                                       Be prepared

A key piece of the conspiracy is that all we experience is in preparation for something.
One can`t go through all this shit for nothing.

So the self convinces itself of some bigger plan, some grand scheme of things...and all this is in preparation of some unknown final accounting, some reason.

So the sad news is, this is not a dress rehearsal.  There is actually no end for some reason to exist in.

All of your preparation is for nothing. Indeed it is the preparation itself that obscures the reality
that there is nothing to prepare for.

The only meaning anything has is the meaning you give it.

This makes it easier to discard the things you prepared because you thought you`d need them.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 27, 2012, 01:06:27 PM
                                                SENSE OF WONDER

                                                        Part 67

                                                   Who`s got the power?

When someone says, or does something that really pisses you off, it thaws out a lump of rotting meat that you`d been keeping on ice. This rotting meat smell gets into everything. You smell it in your clothes.  It fills every aspect of your life with its stink.

The instinctive reaction to this is to hurl it back at whoever started the thaw. But if that can`t be accomplished safely, friends, associates and loved ones generally suffice.

Everyone does it, so it must be right.

One valiantly tries to not take any of this stink personally. But there is actually no other way to take it. If you take it at all it can only be personally. Anyone who is offended on behalf of someone else is a control freak.
If one succeeds in not taking it personally, it`s because there was nothing personal to take.
No... the offending, statement, accusation, assault or insult has landed a bulls eye on a hunk of what you had put on ice in the "Too hard basket."

The urge to throw your semi thawed block of rotting meat back at the cause of your irritation feels way out of proportion to what was done to offend you, even to you....

So you turn the deep freeze off and start thawing out more stuff to justify your counter attack.

In a short time your whole life stinks. You have been un-thawing your own meat locker.
You have been building a case.

You are now effectively insane and quite miserable.
But more to the point you are powerless.

To reclaim a sense of power you start to cook your own rotting meat.

The mind gets busy giving you the script for the ensuing high court battle.
It shows you different ways of torturing and murdering people...and getting away with it.
Have an alibi. "No it can`t have been me...I was somewhere else with a friend.”

Ah the mind. It`s quite happy to get you in trouble and put in jail.
During the trial, you`ll discover it is suddenly out of bright ideas.

You`ll wonder where it went, till you see it sitting smugly at the prosecutors table.

Your mind is NOT your friend.

Next time you have the occasion to see the accused in some TV coverage of a trial you can`t help but see by the vacant blank look that the poor guy has lost his mind.

And the sad truth is that if you are a mind owner , yours will be sitting accusingly, right beside his.

Some reading this may get the idea that what I`m saying is too sympathetic towards criminals. After all they are only in the dock because of the rotting meat they threw at someone.

No...What I`m saying is sympathetic towards you !!!!!  While you have, in your meat locker, serious circumstances and experiences that you were unwilling to experience, you have within yourself complete justification and motivation for doing the most heinous things imaginable to your fellow brothers in arms. Criminal things.

And that ain`t a lot of fun.  Look at your history books.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 27, 2012, 01:07:53 PM
                                                             Sense of wonder

                                                                Part 68

                                                               In or out ?

Part of the conspiracy that is FUN to uncover, is our agreed disassociation from other peoples meat lockers.  We reason that if our own meat locker is so full of potential to stink up our lives, how the fuck will we ever be able to deal with other peoples.

Plus...That`s your problem. Not mine !
So we disown other people`s meat lockers and keep them outside of our selves.
Sometimes people try to dump their rotting meat inside of our selves. When they do, we give them a piece of our minds, or at least mutter under our breath.
Why is all this so hard to grasp?  Why can`t I just say what I mean in plain straight English?

The reason is that I`m writing all this from outside.
If you are reading this from outside it has a clarity you didn`t previously know was possible.
It was outside of your experience.
When one connects their breathing and leaves their mind behind, it also becomes clear that nothing matters. It`s no coincidence that the same clarity occurs at death.
That clarity occurs outside of the mind, and the perception is that this moment is before and after seriousness.  The instant anything matters, the perception is from inside of a mind.
Then you take what matters seriously and what matters becomes the matter that you take seriously.
From there you are stuck inside a mind where matter can only be taken seriously.

There is no such thing as an unserious matter.

Nothing under the moonlight....The serious moonlight!

When one does the present moment conscious breathing, it matters not if you are sitting on the throne in the royal palace or living in a sewer beneath the throne room.

It is only your unwillingness to swap places that  keeps you locked inside yourself, where you know what matters.

And setting your compass is done for you by your circumstances and experiences.
Because they matter to you.  From inside of your mind all that baggage is there for your benefit.
Lord only knows how much time would be wasted having FUN without it.

So once again... Why don`t I just write down what I mean and present a clear and concise case like the well known guru`s have done.
It`s because nothing I`m telling you matters. If you insist on making it matter then you will need to find a guru.

Someone who can make your own personal enlightenment matter.
There are some great ones out there and I know you would benefit from it.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 27, 2012, 01:08:40 PM
                                                 SENSE OF WONDER

                                                      Part 69

                                          Are you fucken serious?

Mind owners should give what I`m saying here their serious  attention.
For those with present moment awareness, let`s just have some fun...
When our meat locker is thawing out faster than we can cook it, we experience pain and fear.
Then we take it seriously and have a serious problem that needs some serious attention.
We ask the universe for relief from what we are unwilling to experience.
Hey presto... There he is. The guy who can take away our pain.
We look forward with eager anticipation to having someone with lots of experience and pleasant circumstances, to bestow us with their presence and give our concerns their serious attention.

We tell ourselves that we have found the way. We have found the guy who can put distance between our present self and our future self. What a relief to finally find someone who has all the answers. Fuck...This guy is a God.
After we have poured out all our troubles and worries,
he pauses to draw on all his experience to come up with the correct remedy for our situation.
We even suspect he thinks about our problems after our session is over. “Finally someone is taking us seriously!!”
The feeling we get that excites us so is HOPE. And what is hope but unexpressed potential.
So the guru has given us back ourselves. “Halleluiah...Praise the Lord!”Trouble is he can take it away again.
Everything goes along fine while we are tuned into the unexpressed potential the guru has resurrected in us. We feel great benefit. It is our desire to share this benefit with others.
We recruit others for the guru. We observe the world from our perception of the guru`s viewpoint.
“I was lost. But now I`m saved.”  I used to be addicted to coke. Now I`m addicted to Jesus.”
So long as the guru, stays out of jail or bankruptcy court, or doesn`t fiddle with other peoples naughty bits, we have a nice safe identity to mimick, and we feel pretty fucken good about ourselves....finally.
Our spiritual evolution is put on hold while we dedicate our time to perpetuating our guru and attempting to convert the world into the happy hope available from ` Guru`s unlimited.`
The guru`s message of love peace and forgiveness does not extend to those who follow a different guru. Or those who point out that our guru`s message is actually a bunch of rubbish.

For those who threaten our happy hopeful guru following new identity, we instinctively dish out war, hate and vengeance.  Welcome to planet Earth.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 27, 2012, 01:09:27 PM
                                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                                               Part 70

                                                          Outside in

If something outside of yourself can make you feel good, realize that it has an equal potential to make you feel bad....if only by its absence.

Here is how the conspiracy works. And why we are all co conspirators.
It all began with a perceived benefit. And it is the perceived benefit that perpetuates the game.
It is only the perceived benefit that holds all co conspirators in the  world, where hope of realizing the perceived benefit causes one to assume a less then perfect identity.
Obviously if one was aware of their own perfection, benefit would cease to exist.
How can perfection benefit from anything?

Only by becoming less than perfect can a perceived benefit be imagined.
The instant you see the perfection in this, perfection is restored.
As there is absolutely zero benefit in seeing this, it becomes invisible to a benefit motivated identification with less than perfection at its foundation.

This is why all philosophy and religion has been able to do is move you from one cell to another,
Without alerting anyone to the fact that you are still in jail.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 27, 2012, 01:10:31 PM

                                                     SENSE OF WONDER

                                                             Part 71

                                                       Nothing but FUN

When one restores present moment awareness (No I`m not talking about “Look at that chair. Thank you.”) either through won`t power or death, it becomes clear that benefit is an illusion.

This awareness is apparent when one gives up their addiction to benefit either cold turkey, ie...Death, or weaning oneself of it through a benefit-free desire to have FUN.

So you got that?  Death is an involuntary,( to the identity), present moment awareness.
It occurs when the illusion of benefit is removed without the identities consent.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 27, 2012, 01:11:47 PM
                                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                                               Part 72

                                                 The man who fell to earth

The inspiration for me asking the big questions and writing the answers I get here was that I have found myself in some pretty fucked up states. I know. We all do. But I wasn`t just interested in easing my own suffering, I also wanted to know what was behind the suffering so that I could help others to rise above theirs.  If you are or have been in a fucked up state, that you are even willing to tune into again, you will know that there is no where to go. There is no one who can help.
It`s just so deep and so unique to you, that you know you are on your own.
One can imagine that the guru one has ended up with is on the case, and just that bit of hope is more therapeutic than anything being applied out of their school of thought. But now one has to
Become a new identity...”I am a Christian. I am a Buddhist. I am a Republican. I am a materialist...”

The more that hope eases the suffering , the more dependant you are on the guru to keep it from coming back.
Oh and by the way. I`m not suggesting that people don`t seek help. There are some amazing people out there. That will blow your mind. Not many... But there are some.
But if you are encouraged to pass responsibility for your suffering over to that guru, you continue to pacify the effects of your situation, rather than dissolve the cause.
The moment you detect a dependency on your guru manifesting....It  is time to move on or die.
The greatest thing a guru can do for you is to not take all the garbage in your mind seriously.
That can encourage you to stop taking it seriously to.
Thus I have treated my life like a science experiment and have actually taken on  potential sources of pain that weren`t rightfully mine.
You see the one thing your guru won`t do, is be so sympathetic to your problems that he will adopt them as his/hers.

That`s why you`ll never find anyone who REALLY understands.

Presently I am on the verge of being, homeless, jobless, penniless and under attack on all fronts.

Anyone out there wanna join me ?
You wouldn`t believe the amount of pressure I am under. That`s because you aren`t under the pressure I am under. You are under your own pressure.

You`d have to be out of your mind to be under someone else`s pressure....wouldn`t you.!?

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 27, 2012, 01:12:57 PM
                                                  SENSE OF WONDER

                                                        Part 73

                                              Abandoned together.

Here we are ... Christmas day 2012.  It has taken 2012 years of war, hate and revenge, in direct contradiction to Jesus message of peace, love and forgiveness, to get to the point where the information you are about to see could be revealed..
Sure we`ve had a few laughs along the way. Sure there have been some amazing experiences.
Sure there have been some incredible people. Sure Woodstock 2 was a great lesson about living in the NOW.  Sure there have been some astounding science breakthroughs. Sure we have made it so criminals have to be smarter. Sure we are on the brink of experiencing a world without money.
Sure we got to see the entertainment industry kill creativity. And yet we are all still in prison. Sure some have some pretty comfortable cells. But “no one gets out of here alive.”

Yes this is an historic day. A day for reflection. Hopefully this is the day when you see that none of that reflection is you. 

Let me see if I can tune you in to what even the amazing Jesus, never .....

                    Every death is a suicide.  EVERY DEATH IS A RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY.

Death is an act of re creation.

From inside a mind, an identity and a form, the above is out of alignment with all one has experienced. As a result death is taken very seriously. But how is this for irony?
None of the great minds who are experts on easing suffering have never seriously looked at death.

They just fucken haven`t. 
Look we have the brains to put a man on the moon. Can you even begin to imagine the amount of technology that needed to exist for that to occur? If you were to write “An idiots guide to putting a man on the moon”, it would take several volumes.  And even then, one small point overlooked could cause the mission to fail. Just one un investigated tolerance of an O ring under pressure at a reduced temperature, and bang!
Yet...we put a man on the moon. The world’s media were quick to let us know that the first man to walk on the moon was dead.  But it was generally accepted that he was dead and there was nothing anyone could do about it.  Not a thing. He`s dead. End of story!!!

The scientific minds fell silent. Still are. Bunch of cunts.
Get the greatest scientists in the world to talk about the atom or the haemorrhoid...They can go for hours. Ask about death...  Silence.   If they do say anything, they sound more like a giddy housewife than a scientist.
Okay... So what makes me the big expert on death? I bet you`re dying to know.
I never said I was.  In fact the bigger expert you are, the more you blind yourself to not being a big expert. When you un-create the big expert, you restore your clarity.
When the big expert dies, the nothing specific you, sees what the big expert prevented you from seeing.
By being a big expert, one has now a point to view things with. The motivation for becoming a big expert was benefit. The identity that is benefitting from being some thing, is being something specific. That specific something has to be less than perfect or else the benefit cannot be pursued.

When the benefit is no longer emotionally fulfilling, the identification is dropped by you.

From this side of the magic trick, you see the big expert drop dead.
From behind the magician you see that it was a less than perfect rendition of yourself has run out of benefit inspired use. So you simply remove you from your self, and resurrect the potential that can be anything, but hasn`t be come any thing.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 28, 2012, 07:40:51 AM
                                                   SENSE OF WONDER

                                                        Part 74

                                                  A less than final accounting

I`m sure that the one thing being taken from the concepts I am illuminating, is that reading this material does your head in.

You read a line.  It makes a bit of sense. But what is he really saying? Am I not getting something?
Is he just trying to be clever?  I can`t see how reading this type of thing will be of any benefit!

So let`s just slow all this down and look at this logically. Just give me something that I can bring up at parties.

Okay... Here we go.

You are perfect.

But perfect relative to what?

You are unlimited potential.

But...potential to do what?

Our desire to experience our own perfection is being viewed as a potential benefit.

So we create a less than perfect viewpoint which exists simultaneously with our perfection.

The less than perfect viewpoint is now frantically attempting to express its perfection
through a made up thing called benefit. This contradiction creates the relative universe.

This relative universe is being created NOW.  In every moment of now we create the relative universe
which we call reality.

Our life`s work is keeping perfection and imperfection apart.
For once we reunite imperfection with perfection, there is no work to do.

Fun resumes and benefit is shown up for the fantasy it is.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 29, 2012, 07:47:48 AM
                                     SENSE OF WONDER

                                        Part 75

                                     The way in/out.

Once one has assumed a less than perfect viewpoint, fun ceases and seriousness becomes the rule of the day.
Just watch the sports "news" or Canadian ice hockey if you need examples.

Just try to settle an argument between your kids if you still don`t get how seriously we defend our own perfection and point out the imperfections of others.

If you summarized every critical thing ever said by anyone to anything, it would all be encompassed within the words.... "Less than perfect."

So we are attempting to eradicate and  disown anything less than perfect.
Meanwhile our life`s work is to strive towards perfection.
We want the perfect job, the perfect partner, the perfect home, the perfect car, the perfect neighborhood, the perfect guru, the perfect answer, the perfect children, the perfect parents, the perfect entertainment, the perfect boss, the perfect employee, the perfect family, the perfect me.

But our attempts are in vain. Our lives are swamped with the myriad of imperfect manifestations.
Our attempts to attain perfection are doomed to fail. There is an infinite supply of imperfect partners, homes, cars, neighborhoods, guru`s, answers, children, parents, entertainment, bosses, employees, families and me`s.

So we travel far and wide, to escape imperfection, and locate perfection.

It gives us something to do.

If we stop criticizing it and cease taking it all seriously we experience the perfection that was always there, but invisible to the less than perfect point of view.

I probably could have said all that better. But had I then you may not have seen it.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 30, 2012, 09:01:33 AM
                                                 SENSE OF WONDER

                                                        Part 76

                                               A fun look at depression

If the identity you are wearing is experiencing depression, it is the loneliest, saddest, unbearable curse.
The sense of claustrophobia is tangible.  It is being surrounded by an inescapable fortress.
It is the ultimate definition of powerless.

It is so insufferable that it can lead people to acts of desperation. You wouldn`t believe the number of people you interact with daily who have resorted to chemical relief from their despair.
Man...It`s a bitch. If someone you love is suffering from depression, you find you are grossly under qualified to help them.

And if you are the depressed person listening to someone trying to cure your depression, they tell you what they would do, what makes sense to them. However, as they aren`t depressed themselves, what they tell you makes you feel even more misunderstood and alone and unsolvable.

Then it occurs to you that all solutions to depression can be summarized as distraction.

Artists , songwriters, poets, philosophers and therapists have themselves ended up depressed over failure to cure depression.

Depression is an identification with experiences and circumstances. That identification is an addiction.
Depressed persons are addicts and addicts are depressed persons.

All identities are depressed or distracted addicts.

Depression manifests to fill the void left by absent freedom.

No wonder depression feels like an inescapable jail.

If one ceases to focus on the walls of the jail, but instead focuses on the space between the walls,
one can focus on liberation. When one fully embraces the freedom available inside the walls, the walls de materialize.

Depression becomes FUN.

The great works of art were all created here.

Do the present moment conscious connected breathing daily.

 Liberate yourself. Ween your self off its addictions.

Discard the depressed me and re join the joyful we.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 31, 2012, 07:48:41 AM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                                   Part 77

                                   Caught between a rock and a paradise.

The one skill a depressed person loses possession of, is the ability to make fun of their depression.

Fun and depression cannot co exist.

It`s like Christian fundamentalism and sanity. You have to chose one or the other.

One is based on interactive feedback and the other just raw emotion.

And here is what the great philosophers have all missed...

The interactive feedback, in every instance, is unique to the you that is interacting.
And what makes the you unique is the platform of experience and circumstances one has built their unique viewing platform from.

If you give Oprah`s book of the week to a Tibetan  woman, she`ll find the solutions to problems she never even knew existed.

She`ll be wondering where to get the food she can cure her teenage daughter of secretly throwing up.

 Enough already...  Now that I`ve tied your platform of circumstances and experiences in a knot...
Let`s have some fun with depression.

The reflection or feedback you get from the world is a mirror image of your self.

If you are a little depressed it is because you have deprived yourself of a little happiness.
On the other hand you are manically depressed it is because you have deprived yourself of manic happiness.

This has been so unthinkable that Buddhism  had to create a whole new thought to remove the feedback
and keep their minds.

                                                 "Walk the middle road."

The rationale is that if you don`t get too happy you won`t have to deal with being deprived of too much happiness later.  If you don`t get too rich, you never have to deal with an absence of that richness.
If you remain humble you won`t have to deal with humiliation.  If you wear a simple orange robe you won`t be forever wondering why you aren`t on the cover of Vogue.

Look, of all the religious leaders in the world, the Dalai Lama is probably the only one I`d share my sandwiches with. But it was his choice to hold on to his religious beliefs and take the middle road right out of Tibet pursued by a nation of humorless Chinese that will take any road they can get.

So "the middle road" applies to everything except ones strong religious beliefs. And as a result one makes themselves vulnerable to strong religious persecution.

The intensity of ones experience of persecution is a mirror image of the depths of the intensity of ones experience of not being persecuted.

Your willingness and desire to experience pleasure opens up your lack of desire and unwillingness to experience pain. This is a 100% match.

The thing that gives you the most pleasure is the thing with the potential to cause you the most pain.

If you can see this , you have just climbed down from your platform.

Donald Trump was walking down a street in New York with some buddies after the 80`s crash . They passed a beggar.
The Don commented to his mates, that the beggar was richer than he was.

After all, Donald Trump was millions of dollars in debt at the time.

But Donald was not walking the middle road. His capacity to lose millions was a mirror image of his capacity to have millions.

Meanwhile the beggar was taking the middle road, or footpath, to be more specific.

What a depressing thought. More FUN coming soon.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 31, 2012, 06:54:29 PM
                                           SENSE OF WONDER

                                                   Part 78

                                 Russian roulette for the whole family.

One of the clues that reveals the secret of how to become really depressed is that any discussion with the afflicted will inevitably trace back to their family.

Therapists and counselors are delighted to listen to this rubbish. It sets their cash registers ringing.

Depressed people have talked about the abuse they suffered at the hands of their parents for about a hundred years. They should actually be depressed about all the time and money they have wasted talking to depression curers.

I know I`m sounding a bit disrespectful of therapists.

Let me tell you what a therapist is;

A person who is acting the part of someone who isn`t as fucked up as you are.
Change seats some time. See if what I`m saying isn`t true.

The only useful thing a therapist can do for you is to point out that your head is full of complete rubbish and you need to stop identifying with it.

Instead, we have therapists trying to reorganize all that rubbish, and manage it.

And in theory it all has a happy ending. In the real world however..."Serenity now.... Insanity later."

The reason families are such a red flag for depression is that the rubbish is intimately connected from one family member to the next.

So you go.... "Great. We need to dissect this."

Never to my knowledge has anyone who played Russian roulette announced that getting a bullet in the head was the worst part of the game. Not one complaint.

All the emotional turmoil is in the unwillingness to experience that bullet in flight.

Do you get it?  It`s the emotional turmoil that causes the stress.

It`s the gnawing, anticipation of something one is unwilling to experience.
Hey... isn`t that what depression is?
More soon.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 02, 2013, 07:31:24 AM
                                         SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 79

                                          Let the fun begin

So have we got this sorted?  Someone who is depressed has formed an identification with their experiences and circumstances.

They are facing their reality. The trouble is their reality is a mirror of themselves.

It seems everyone can see that except you.

Other people can solve your depression in four sentences.
And even in your depressed state you can still solve other peoples problems in four sentences.
Yet nothing gets solved. Reality continues unharmed.

This is why depressed people are overwhelmed by loneliness.
No one has their problem but them selves. This reality is why one feels that the whole world is against one.

And that is not fun.

Now we are getting there....   Depression and fun cannot co exist.

The reflection you see, whether it be fun or depression, is a perfect vibrational match for what you are offering. 

We don`t like to hear that.  We know that we have very good reason to be depressed. Look at the reality. "Look at my circumstances and experiences. If you were me, you`d be depressed to."

So do you see?  It is being the you that you are being that is what is creating the depression.
It goes without saying that the degree of seriousness that you are creating this depression with, will be the degree your depression is so serious.

Now this wouldn`t be a problem if you weren`t living in a world of contrast.
Your depression can only exist because happiness exists somewhere else.... and you know about it.

You ask for happiness. But you are asking for nothing till you create the mirror for that happiness to be reflected in.

The mirror will reflect nothing till you give it a contrast to reflect within.

Actually it is reflecting happiness, but you don`t register it.

So for fun you reflect unhappiness back at your self and say. "Alright here is what has to exist for my desire to be a contrast to."

The opposite of your desire is the first thing to be reflected back at you.

It is our own decision to take this reflection seriously that prevents the second thing manifesting.
And the second thing is the fun that would have removed the depression you yourself are now using to prevent miracles from entering your life.

Your depression is the first thing you continue to focus on.
It feels like someone is holding a gun to your head.

That someone can only ever be you.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 03, 2013, 07:48:43 AM
                                              SENSE OF WONDER

                                                    Part 80.

                             How to stop being depressed about your depression.

The moment you become aware of the fact that you are becoming depressed you need to
distract yourself from it immediately.

Get out of yourself.

Take a train ride or bus to a town you have no reason to visit Buy a piece of cake and have a coffee.
 Go for a walk in nature.
Visit the museum or art gallery.
Kick a ball around. Fly a kite. Go for a swim.
Try catching a fish.
Get yourself an ice cream. Ride a bicycle.  Go somewhere that has a beautiful view.
Go and watch a sports game at a local park.
Don`t go anywhere that you are committed to stay for a specific time period.

Get out of the you that believes it is stuck.

Just have some FUN.

Once you are distracted from your circumstances and experiences, do the breathing.
Get used to the fact that you don`t have to obey every crazy thing your mind throws at you.

What your mind is throwing at you is your depression.

The depressed you will insist that you need to change the world before you can be happy.

Just stop listening to it. It makes you depressed.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 04, 2013, 10:54:39 PM
                                             SENSE OF WONDER

                                                Part 81

                                             The way out

I`ve been using depression here as an example of something that takes away ones power.
It`s a great example to use as it appears unsolvable to the afflicted.
The lack of motivation to remedy the depression is the problem.
And in all honesty it affects all of us, but the deliriously stupid.

I have been so depressed at certain times in my life that I couldn`t even cry.

Even as I write I have certain circumstances and perspectives that I`d be completely justified in just blowing my brains out.

Yet.... I have a deep understanding of what is going on and in certain moments of clarity I can see these
circumstances as a gift. So I`m not writing about planet earth from the Playboy mansion.
I`m actually down here getting my butt kicked just like some of you are.

A clue to what is going on is in what your circumstances are.
I guarantee you that in every instance where your world is turned upside down it will be by the last thing you needed right now.

Now notice it wasn`t the second or third last thing you needed right now. It was or is the very last thing.
What the exterior world brought to you, scored a bullseye in the what I didn`t need right now department.

Now if you got fired, you could have coped with that. If you broke your leg you could have coped with that,... But the love of your life dumping right now is the last thing you needed.
That`s why it happened.  Bullseye.

It`s as if the thing you had no defense for is the one thing that comes knocking at your door after hours.
This is too much of a coincidence to be a coincidence.

This is a gift from who you could be. It is `who you could be` offering who you have become an opportunity to discard identification with specifically the issue that is holding you away from being who you could be.

So the last thing you wanted is really the first thing you needed.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 05, 2013, 07:43:27 AM
                                              SENSE OF WONDER

                                                   Part 82

                                              Speech therapy

What you will notice when the last thing you needed is happening to you is that the self becomes a speech writer. It tirelessly writes speeches in your mind. And what does it do when the speech is over? It writes it again. And again. And again. 

It will start to thaw out your emotional rotten meat to back up everything it says to you.
If the last thing you wanted isn`t active, the behavior I`m talking about will seem absurd.
However, if the last thing you wanted is happening to you then you are instinctively writing speeches.

"If only I`d said this........ If he says this...I`ll say that.  If only I could....then.....
If I say this and that... Then they will I can`t say that, but I can still say this, plus this and this."  But if they say this then I shouldn`t have brought up that....
So I`ll do this and say that. Plus I`ll show them this and explain that so they can see I am perfect after all. It was all a huge misunderstanding......

The speech writing goes on whether you are home and away

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 07, 2013, 07:25:07 AM
                                              SENSE OF WONDER

                                                       Part 83

                                               Cataclysmic events

I was contacted by a reader of "My story" who was on staff at the same time as myself.
She has been keeping a low profile as she decompressed from her cultic experience.

Her message to me was one of concern over impending cataclysmic world events which
were framed by the Mayan calender,  polar shift, and 2012.

As I wrote a response I saw something that I thought might be fun for readers of Our story...

Here is my message.


                   As you read my response it may occur to you that I haven`t understood what you have Talked to me about.  I have.

You have a recollection of who I am planted in your memory.

It may colorize your perception of who you are talking to now.

So just forget you ever met me and listen.

I love you. (Not in the let`s have babies together way.)

I have nothing but admiration and a sense of joy when you are the centre of my focus.

Whether the earth survives or not is of no consequence.
It can only be of consequence because of one's identification with form.

By doing the present moment connected breathing every day for about twenty minutes, One becomes less and less identified with their circumstances and experiences.
The way to gauge how identified with form one is, can be achieved simply by gauging how one feels.

Heaviness, fear, stress, pessimism, worry, bitterness, overwhelm, and exasperation are all signs that One is identifying with form.

It is through the eyes of form that one feels powerless and small.

One feels that they are at the mercy of circumstances and experiences.

One has surrendered their power to their circumstances and experiences.

At which point circumstances and experiences have as much power over you as you have surrendered to them.

Recovery of this power does not exist in the past or the future.
It exists in the only time there is....  NOW!!!!

Continue to do the breathing. Let your mind know it is on notice.

The power you have surrendered can destroy the world.
The power that you reclaim can have fun with your grandkids and your garden in the eternal moment of NOW.

All my love...


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 09, 2013, 07:06:58 AM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 84

                                            The joy of creation

Just when I`d lost all hope of ever hearing from my hero again...

I can`t begin to tell you how grateful I feel.

After suffering a heart attack on stage in Germany in 2004, Bowie quietly slipped out the back door
and remained silent for a decade.
It was a long hard road for me not having a new album each year to get me through to the next.

So expect a new rejuvenated me. 
I`m actually happy this morning. Like amazingly happy.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 11, 2013, 07:25:36 AM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                               Part 85

                                           Feeling feeling.

The subject of feeling is the make break point on the road to enlightenment.

Even if you do everything the master says, even if you apply yourself 100%....
it is your feelings that will betray you.

An example would be... Having all the ingredients for the current think on the subject of happiness.

Someone could have the nice house, the perfect spouse, the dream job, money in the bank, health,
great friends and yet still feel as if something is missing.
They have embodied happiness ...yet they are not feeling it.

Likewise one could go through the motions of being enlightened and still not feel it.

This is a big obstacle.
An impossible task.

It`s where I am bogged down.

Let`s see if we can feel our way through it.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 12, 2013, 05:37:39 PM
                                                   SENSE OF WONDER

                                                        Part 86


Sometime today, can`t locate it precisely,`who we could be` expanded `who I was being`s  perspective.
I just know I had soaking wet shoes and socks at the time.

What arrived is possibly the greatest insight into life I have ever had.
It literally blew what was still left of `who I was being` into the mud I was standing in.

This is such a vast concept, I only hope I can convey it clearly to you dear reader.

Once you get it, if you`re anything like me , you will hear music playing from the the hearts of all you have lived and loved with.

This is right down at one`s core.
It is the elevator ride out of here.

This is where the worst and best you have ever felt merge together.

And here I am about to write about it and I don`t have a clue what it is.

I can just feel it. I know it is there.  It is the feeling of coming home from war.
It is holding your new born self and saying everything is going to be okay.

So without further ado...

Why is `who we could be` keeping its distance from `who we are?`

Why can we not in our darkest moments call on `who we could be` to rescue us?

Why are we, infinite Gods, experiencing only a tiny fraction of `who we could be?`

Interesting questions...

Let`s see what who we could be has to say...

It is our desire to perceive our own perfection.

The greater the desire, the less perfect the perspective which is born to identify with.
The creation of the identity is a trade off. The birth of the identity is the trade off from potentially anything to specifically something.

Specifically something has surrendered its full potential.
That potential is now outside of specifically the identity one has assumed.
Now limited potential can interact with unlimited potential.

Limited potential must disown or surrender full potential so it can interact.
The more one has empowered other than self, the more power other than self has to interact with self.

Now here is the part I don`t know how to say....  Not because I don`t know the words.
But because it is a feeling..... Not a concept.

MMmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm   ARrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.


 The bond between what one is holding on to and what one has let go of is FEELING !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All you can ever interact with is the unlimited  potential you surrendered by becoming a limited potential identification known as somebody.

Here are a few examples.

" Joe ripped me off... So I feel disappointed."
"The weather is bad.... So I feel lousy."
"My girlfriend dumped me..... So I feel really fucked up."
"I have more bills than money... So I feel overwhelmed."
"I`m going to die..... So I feel frightened."
"My car got stolen...So I feel pissed off."
"My partner is boring... So I feel apathetic."
"Someone may be saying bad things about me ....So I feel suspicious."
"I can`t see an end to my suffering...So I feel apathetic."

I am sexy... So I feel dangerous."
I have good friends... So I don`t feel lonely."
"I have money in the I feel secure."
" I just saw a really funny comedian I feel humorous."
"I have some great DVD`s to watch...So I feel hopeful."
"I just read a book about enlightenment...So I feel inspired."
"God told me to shoot school kids with my oozie...So I feel euphoric."

So here we all are on this dot floating in space and having feelings about it.

It`s what we all do. So it must be right.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 14, 2013, 06:50:55 AM
                                              SENSE OF WONDER

                                                   Part 87

                                               Paint by numbers

Just think about it...

The whole human experience is having emotional responses to our experiences and circumstances.

Every time we do it we surrender our power. We are the effect. We are stimulus response.

For someone who is having unbearable experiences and circumstances, they just want it to end.
It makes them feel trapped and powerless. They feel terrible.

With all their feeling, they plead with God.  "Please let me feel good!"

Their prayers go unanswered.
God is not the effect of feelings. God has no checklist of factors that must be in place to evoke a required feeling. You can never provoke an emotional response from God.

Face it. God does not care about circumstances and experiences, that is why God is a God and you are a you.

People say "God works in mysterious ways." That is mans attempt to personify God. Make him someone that we need to work hard to understand. But God doesn`t WORK at all.

Just as you sit there now.... Think of all the experiences and circumstances that have driven you half crazy... Now plead with God to give a shit about your plight.  Do it for several thousand more years.

Notice how no matter what you throw at God, God doesn`t seem to give a shit.

God is not the effect of anything. That`s why God is God.

Meanwhile you are the effect of anything. That`s why you are you.

God is potentially anything.
You are the part of God that is specifically something.

Where you go from here is TOTALLY dependent upon how you FEEL about it.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 16, 2013, 06:38:39 AM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                             Part 88

                                           Run for the shadows.

The feelings we have are our own surrendered power being reflected back at us.

Some external manifestation catches our attention. We have an emotional response to it.
If it is interpreted as a beneficial manifestation we have a positive feeling about it.
If it is perceived by the self as a threat to the persistence of the self we have a negative
emotional response. It makes us feel bad.

So here we are God`s being effected by things we have no control of.

The no control element is where the real damage is done. We feel powerless.

It is that powerlessness that locks us into the form and sets our compass for more experiences and circumstances.

It is at times like these that we create and reach out to a shadow God.

This shadow God is the embodiment of all the power we have surrendered.

We feel powerless before shadow God. We pray that shadow God will rescue us.

But we are so addicted to preserving the form we have identified with, that we do not realize we have turned our backs to the shadow less God and are now looking at the shadow of our form splayed out before us.

We use the shadow as confirmation that our form is real.

By not realizing that our shadows are where we have prevented God`s light from shining, we are defining ourselves and identifying with a specific amount of potential.

We have as much potential as we can squeeze through the viewpoint we have assumed.

From there we have quantified potential.

"I feel this good. I feel really bad. I feel depressed. I feel lucky.I feel frightened. I feel. I feel. I feel."

All of these feelings are our own disowned potential being observed before us as shadows of where unlimited potential is not shining.

If you have been doing the present moment conscious, connected breathing, you have been taking back your power. All those wacky crazy thoughts that were distracting you were just your own shadow.

When we are the light source we see no shadows.

When you have turned your back on the light source, only then can you commence shadow boxing.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 17, 2013, 08:02:50 AM
                                       SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 89

                                       It`s so hard. (The eternal struggle.)

Why the hell is life so hard? Why are we surrounded by barriers? Why can`t everyone just get along and be happy? Why is their rap music?

The answers currently available are the same answers we have heard over and over aging for at least three thousands years.

They get dressed up differently. They get delivered in a more sophisticated way and yet they are the same old tired answers.

And they are the perfect answers to the way we have posed the question.

We pose our questions from our accumulated experiences and our present circumstances.

Our questions are posed from a perspective of darkness.
Our questions can be summed up as why cannot I see the light?

So our questions are already premised with our backs to the light.

Because our backs are to the light, we cast a shadow.
We see our shadow as evidence and proof that this is what is. For if what is did not exist it would not cast a shadow.

We must have substance. How else could we see the absence of light that our form traces on the ground before us?

We can see where the light shines and where it is blocked. We are defined.

We become the shadow that we cast. We live forever in the dark, shadow boxing.
From the darkness we cry out "Show me the light!"

Our shadow just keeps getting longer as the days grows old.

If we stop arguing with our shadow and stand in the light, we find its brightness blinding.

We are the effect of the light.
It is only when we are the cause of the light that all shadows disappear.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 20, 2013, 08:45:55 AM
                                                    SENSE OF WONDER

                                                            Part 90

                              Everything you never wanted to know about death.

This is a special moment.  This is where we will reveal our authentic selves.

It is your authenticness that has been inspiring my authenticness to release our inauthentic selves from
the shadows we have danced together with.

Our inauthentic selves have a vested interest in separation from our authenticness.

Our inauthentic selves know that reconnection with authenticity spells death for inauthenticity.

The dance is over. The circumstances and experiences we have become, fall away like yesterdays news.

                                     DEATH IS ENLIGHTENMENT
                                    UNENLIGHTENMENT IS LIFE.

I can`t help but be completely authentic as I write what follows. There is no other way to write it.

When people ask me to explain why I am so weird and different I tend to tell them that my life is a science experiment.

It`s just something I have fun doing.

I had three physically impossible experiences this week that I`m going to share with you.

But firstly I`d like to acknowledge our authenticness for releasing my self from some remaining inauthenticness.

Firstly I was involved in a car accident that never happened.

As I went to make a right hand turn into a side street, a car that was waiting at a stop sign for me to go around it started to accelerate straight at me. The woman driver had completely missed seeing me.

The collision was a forgone conclusion.

There was no time to take evasive action. There was no thought process.

All there was, was me continuing on my way unimpeded. No crash. No screeching of brakes.

I thought nothing of it.

It was only later that day when I realized that somehow I had defied the laws of physics.

Then I realized that this woman had driven through my shadow.

Because I was the light, the shadow was not real to me.

Yes it sounds like a load of hooey.

And you can leave it at that if you wish.

However, two other coincidences had happened just prior to that.

I had mentioned earlier about two people that were independently making my life a living hell.

One was threatening to cut off my source of income and the other was threatening to cut off my accommodation.

I won`t bother you with the specifics. But in summary I faced being on the street with nothing.

Now ...I`m no dummy. It was clearly within my power to destroy both of these people.
But what fascinated me was the rage and retribution that they activated within me.

I was doubly devastated by this as, I simply didn`t DESERVE it.

I resurrected a mind that plotted and rehearsed doing the most evil acts to these two naive arrivals in a world of hell.

But I couldn`t get over the fact that all these instinctive self preservation reactions were the fuel that has turned experiences on earth into world of hell.

So I got physically ill. I tossed and turned instead of sleeping.
I kept getting my words and concepts screwed up when talking to people.

I was as fucked up as I`ve ever been.  And miserable.
Me....???  After all the wonderful information I have delighted you with.

Now as one is going through this anguish one loses sight of their authenticity.
I was becoming a psychotic torturing , murdering,  sadistic, arsehole.

I was becoming everything I hated these people for being.

Wow !!! 

"You attract problems of comparable magnitude to your ability to resolve them.

So I fucken cried and I writhed in their agony. The agony that resides within the shadows of self experience.

I brought these two insane, miserable entities into present moment experience and I held their hands
and soothed them as their inauthenticity drained through me into authenticity.

The criminal threatening my income has disappeared to be replaced by the nicest guy you could ever meet.
The woman threatening my accommodation resigned from her position.
The car that was destined to take the fun out of my focus was denied entry.

And I became more authentic.

I want to thank the authentic you for revealing these things to me.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 20, 2013, 09:52:46 AM
                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                               Part 91

                                            Research notes.

Something I haven`t figured out is haunting me at the moment.

On the one hand I keep getting this feeling that something truly amazing is about to happen.
Like I`ve been leaning on a door and it`s about to open.
Yet on the other hand I feel that on the other side of the door is an a vast ocean of how fucked up I have actually become.  It`s like I was previously unaware of a whole other realm of ghosts and hidden feelings, that are opening up for my acknowledgment.

Incidentally... Even though I`m going to be talking about some of the mysteries of the universe that have defied comprehension for eons, And even though this is the stuff you wanted to know in your darkest moments. And even though your comprehension of these things will restore you to who you really are...if you met me... you`d be as thoroughly disappointed as is possible.

I`m saying this because there is this unspoken model of how an enlightened one should look, act and conduct themselves.

But it`s all crap. Get that image of great dignity and profoundness out of your system now.

Only an enlightened one can see and acknowledge an enlightened one.
Everything else is just hype.

When I go to the local dairy, they see me as someone wanting smokes.
If the guy behind the counter was enlightened he would see me as his best friend.

I`ve mentioned him before. But one of my best friends is a healer named Graham Mead.
If you live in New Zealand and can get to Mt Eden in Auckland, I thoroughly recommend that you put meeting Graham on your bucket list. 

I don`t want to make it impossible for him to fulfill your expectations by suggesting that he is more than he is. But I will say that was he is more than you will have experienced previously.

It was Graham who woke me up. He has the ability to remind you of who you could be.

One little example.

Probably because it was uniquely addressed to me, it won`t mean a great deal to a third party.

But one of my first appointments I sat there and grizzled about all the shit that was making my life miserable.  Graham listened patiently for as long as he could be bothered, then leaned forward looked straight into my soul and said "BULLSHIT !"

Oh fuck...I laughed and laughed.

He turned everything I took seriously, and there was some serious shit there, and instantly all the shadows in my life disappeared.

One time I took my, very depressed, son to see him.

After he came out I went and chatted with Graham while my son waited in the car.

Twenty minutes later I returned to the car, apologized for taking so long and asked my son what he`d been doing. His reply..." laughing."

I`m sorry this is sounding like an ad. Just letting you know there is someone you can go and see if you want a rocket ride out of the shadows.

I think he charges $170.00 per visit. Still you may have to wait for a month to get an appointment.

Let me just google him. See what I can find.

When I put his email address and phone number in "My story", someone from Scientology L.A. phoned him a few days later.

How weird is that?

yep...Here he is.

FEBRUARY 28th - MARCH 3rd    2013   -- EMBODY - Summer Retreat

Embody is a grounded, authentic approach to regaining an intuitive sense of who we are and ending the outer search for inner peace.
This 3-day Retreat offers a practical approach to embodied self- awareness beyond thought, inspiring and shaping a conscious, purpose-imbued life. Using stillness, movement and breath exercises, we will be guided through the integration of deep-seated, suppressed emotional memory while gracefully dissolving into the fluidity of authentic movement. This ends the fear of feeling our feelings, reconnects us to our shared essence- the intelligence that animates us, lives in our cells and breathes our bodies.
This work initiates a shift in the fundamental paradigm that governs our perception and experience of ourselves and our world and encourages us to return to a state of inner, intuitive, felt-awareness of who and what we are rather than a mental construct based on the past and the imagined future.
Self-responsibility is the focal point of this work and is cultivated and encouraged throughout. The movement is gentle, though emotional integration can be an intense and often challenging process.
Aio Wira Retreat centre is located in the heart of the Waitakere ranges and offers the ideal environment for this work. There is a river to swim in, bush walks, a spa and sauna and beautiful vegetarian meals provided.
Embrace this unique opportunity to give yourself the nurturing gift of healing that intimate stillness and self-awareness offers.
Retreat details:
Starts 6pm Thursday 28 Feb 2013 and ends 4.30pm Sunday 3 March 2013.
Cost: $525 includes all meals, accommodation, teas etc.
Anyone interested in attending please contact Mandy at or on (09)8108480 or 027 485 7272. A non-refundable deposit of $100 is payable upon registration.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 24, 2013, 08:02:08 AM
                                           SENSE OF WONDER

                                             Part 92

                                           The war of YOU.

I`m just throwing this out here for now.

It seems to be the basic causation of conflict. Conflict between nations, groups, creeds, races, ideologies
and even the inner conflict that takes the fun out of existence.

One inevitably runs into this phenomenon while attempting to maintain present moment awareness conscious breathing for twenty minutes.

One begins the breathing with the best of intentions. Yet before one has an awareness of it that awareness is usurped and ones awareness is on an out of control tobaggon ride to effect.

It is only when one detects that their breathing has become sporadic that one`s awareness of the fact that their control has been stolen from them.

The thing that has taken over control of you has a second line of defense. It begs that you try to dissent and understand it.  This is where psychotherapy has been stuck for about a century.

Any attempt to make sense of the lapse of control is also out of ones control.

This phenomenon is invisible to all unless one has the objective of maintaining present moment awareness.
Prior to that one is blindly obeying the surrendered control under the assumption that it is who one is.

So the you who has surrendered control is constantly making affirmations to accommodate the self that control has been handed over to.

"I am a druggie.  I am poor. I am shy. I am too old. I am too young. I am too stupid. I am depressed.
I am addicted. I am lonely. I am sick of living. I am a survivor."

You see what happens .... All ones potential is denied ones access and one becomes a defined self bereft of unlimited potential and exists as limited potential.

So when doing the conscious breathing all that you have surrendered your power to surrounds you with an agenda of self preservation.

It is only by having present moment consciousness that one becomes aware that they have gone before they realize they have been taken.

I know it`s tricky.

But realize this , by tuning in to present moment consciousness one is tuning out of the limited potential entity that one believes they are. That entity is NOT who you are.  It is  merely an accumulation of who you are not.

Who you are not needs your attention to persist.
Take your attention  off (Tune out) who you are not and who you could be emerges.

And it`s FUN.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 27, 2013, 09:47:02 AM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 93

                                           How long ?

There has always been a quest for the self generating engine.
A machine that will generate enough power to perpetuate its own future existence.

For this to happen the machine would have to have perfect balance between cause and effect.

This would merge cause and effect into being interchangeable and ultimately neutralize the need for either to exist at all. The moment they become one in its purest form, the imbalance would be imperceivable. The imbalance is what makes things perceivable. Complete resolution makes things disappear completely.  Partial resolution makes things partially disappear.

It is not possible to give examples of this. Because the things that are totally resolved are not perceivable even as examples. Any example offered is evidence it is not fully resolved.

And yet we are addicted to the resolution of all things.

We want to know. We have an addiction to resolving the things we experience.
We want to solve that murder. We want our existence to make sense.
We want to find a cure for disease. We want to win that war. We want to leave a good impression on those we meet. We want peace on earth. We want to know who won the game. Did Boris ever get back with Hilda?  We want to resolve the factors of our experience that are causing us to feel unfulfilled.
We want justice.

We hope one day, given time, to feel able to rest in peace.

Just as one has to be enlightened to recognize enlightenment in others, one also needs to be enlightened to recognize acts of the enlightened ones.

For the enlightened, the enlightened acts are instantaneous. There just isn`t time for the unenlightened to witness them. For the enlightened cause and effect are instantaneous.

Let`s see if you can get it if I come at it another way.

An unenlightened one is stuck gazing at the clock. It is not recognized as the miracle this act is.
Because the unenlightened one has bought into the idea of time, he/she has delayed their act of creation.

The unenlightened one feels bad. It may take years before the bad they feel manifests.

There is such a buffer between cause and effect for the unenlightened that `things` just seem to happen.
Out of the blue they run into the effect of their own causation, but unrecognizable when disguised by time.

How you are feeling in time has its genesis now.

The closer one is to now, the less time is available for the effect to manifest.

Everything is a big mystery to the unenlightened. "Shit happens."

The unenlightened is focused into the shadow of effect.
The unenlightened has their back turned to causation.

The unenlightened is convinced that we are small and powerless, trapped inside a universe that is so big and powerful.

The unenlightened uses time to separate cause and effect.

The unenlightened is the near perfect self perpetuating machine called life.

When one becomes enlightened, either through choice or death, there is an enormous sense of resolution.
Cause and effect become one. There is no time to separate cause and effect.

The potential one surrendered to the big, powerful universe, is reclaimed by the big and powerful YOU !

Kind of makes that powerlessness you are presently experiencing seem rather petty...

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 28, 2013, 12:21:57 AM
                                                      SENSE OF WONDER

                                                         Part 94

                                                      No end in sight

All things persist to the extent that they evade resolution.
We have a sixth sense about this which permeates our culture.
We go through the motions of resolving the issues facing us and scratch our heads when everything we tried so valiantly to do to resolve them doesn`t make a dent.

It`s as if the whole culture accepts the fact that we do all we can do within our power and then close the meeting with a prayer.

Even this does not alert us to the fact that we are resolved to being unresolved.

We know that resolution resides within the hands of a greater power than ourselves.
We seal our own fate by accepting the fact that we are not that greater power.

When we can observe a greater power than ourselves at work we instinctively  create time and space between the effect that we observed and its final resolution.

As soon as one tunes into a piece of music the ear is predisposed to anticipating a point of resolution
It`s that final chord which allows one to rest. It frees one from the song.
This is why popular music recordings often cycle the final four bars as a fade out.
It denies the listener the resolution the ear expected and leaves the song stuck in your head.

Resolution will never occur within a head.

As one tries to focus on present moment conscious breathing, all that is unresolved will pull one back into their head.

Interestingly it is the unresolved desires that form what is now referred to as a "bucket list."

Sadly, whatever is on that list, is only there because one was wearing the bucket on their head.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 28, 2013, 09:06:59 AM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                                   Part 95

                                          Practically there.

Gee...I`m so sorry the subject matter here is so hard to grasp.
What can I tell you?  I`m writing about nothing, with no benefit to anyone.

This is the philosophical equivalent of the sitcom Seinfeld. A show about nothing.

And yet it become the most popular show in TV history.

It was pure fun. And yet it was about nothing.

Once one has put resolution to their addiction for something, there is a place of rest.
Anything that approaches that state of rest is transformed into FUN.

Now let me have a bit of fun showing you what you are doing to avoid having FUN.

When you do the daily twenty minutes of connected breathing you are doing nothing.
Well .... Are you? 

Like hell you are.  You may start off doing nothing. But sure as heck, something will come along.
A thought, a distraction, a new theory about baking, an unresolved issue.
It will steal you away from nothing and drop you in a steaming pile of something.

What the mind manufactures and feeds on is making something out of nothing.

The thing that is inhibiting your ability to reside in nothing is the minds unresolved issues.

If you could watch a movie of what garbage your mind is using to distract you, you would be embarrassed.

Now let me really bring this home for you.

You inevitably have experiences and circumstances that are unresolved.
Need to get the cat fixed
Got to register the car.
Put flour on the shopping list.
Must remember to watch `Law and Order` on Wednesday night.
Pay the phone bill by the 30th.

On and on. You tick off that list and a new one magically appears.
There is no resolution here. Just perpetuation.

Each day you have to drag your raggedy arse out the door and resolve the things that your circumstances and experiences have sent looking for you.

Your ability to live in the now is being constantly eroded by the earlier mentioned conspiracy that we are all in on.

There is no escape. No matter what you do or where you go you are stalked and followed by the agents you sent out earlier under cover.

Will it ever end?  Well yes. The death that has held a gun to your head your whole life is actually the peace maker.

The moment it happens you are completely absolved of everything you failed to resolve.

   No wonder the most popular epitaph is  "REST IN PEACE."

You wound up residing in `something` that can die. And you thought it was you.
Perfectly demonstrated on Spike Milligan`s grave stone ..."I TOLD YOU I WAS ILL." (Written in Welsh)

So when you lose identification with the something you are being, you are moving house before you are foreclosed on.

Now you want to experience this phenomenon ????

Wanna see what I`m telling you in action.

Same bat time. Same Bat channel.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on January 29, 2013, 07:39:58 AM
                                                     SENSE OF WONDER

                                                             Part 96

                                                       Compose yourself

Have you ever seen a classical pianist play?
What you notice is that when they take their seat, they take a moment to compose themselves.

There can be all sorts of justifications for doing this. But until it is you that is doing it, you will never really get it.

What the pianist is about to play is actually impossible for a mind to do.
So that moment the pianist takes is where the artist disengages from the mind.

It is where the pianist tunes into unlimited potential.

The various arts all provide their own unique opportunities to get into this zone.

The audience have not required of themselves to be the instigator of this transformation.
Mostly its because they are so stuck in themselves that they cannot make the transformation.

So the audience just goes along for the ride, placing their trust and admiration in the driver.

Where these various artists can take their audience is to a zone that is not part of their daily experience.

It becomes difficult to tell others who weren`t there exactly what it was like.
They`ll give examples of the effects that were observable. But ultimately they`ll concede that
"You had to be there."

What they find hard to put adjectives to, is the sense of inspiration, joy , wonder and fun, that being in the vicinity of that zone provides.

The artist has reconnected us with the power we have abandoned.

We often float through life for days afterwards.

In time we settle back into our own powerless selves.

When we are in that zone nothing can touch us.
To the extent that we are seduced out of that zone, we are rendered powerless.

Yes there is still more to come....

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 02, 2013, 09:20:33 AM
                                         SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 97

                                    Making peace with the mind.

As you read what I`m saying, you will no doubt be influenced by your own circumstances and experiences.

There exists an unlimited potential of factors that have become "Your story."

"Your story" is unique to you.  Chances are you have bonded with others who have a similar story
and felt no particular attraction to those whose stories don`t appear to have elements in common.

This is clearly seen by the fact that you tend to stick with the style of music you were surrounded by during your formative years, while your ears were still open.

Any attempt to introduce you to a different style is met with a feeling of not being able to relate to it.

It can provoke strong emotions. One can love certain styles of music and hate others.

This phenomenon doesn`t just apply to the arts.  It applies to every single thing that you became.

This is the conspiracy of which I have started to introduce you to.

The desire to define oneself is promoted and encouraged by all the conspirators.

"Johnny is doing well in school. He is going to university next year. Soon he will be a Doctor.
No life will be worth saving more than his own."

Call it character building.  Call it growth. Call it finding oneself. Call it becoming successful. Call it gaining approval.  But let`s call it what it is...."LIFE."

This is why people cannot think rationally about death.
It freaks the mind out.
It`s like trying to spell a word on a calculator.
You have to turn the whole thing upside down to recognize the word spelled by numbers.

All the character building one has done through many experiences, and inspired by many circumstances,
has made the music I`m playing to you now, hard to hear.

Construction is environment one is perpetuating. The mind is the identities project manager.
The mind can play an endless game of "what`s around the next corner."

The mind convinces its host that freedom, happiness, and enlightenment are just around the next corner.
 with houses on Mars and telephones that work.

The mind builds on the past. It justifies its existence with "Look how far we have come."
Thousands of years ago when someone died people`s minds would come up completely blank as to what happened.

These days, when someone drops dead the mind comes up completely blank.

That`s progress for you.

The mind is all about construction.

That`s why one needs to abandon the mind in pursuit of deconstruction.

When one tries to shut the mind down for a mere twenty minutes a day.

The mind will say FUCK YOU !

When one tires to get over a broken heart the mind will say "FUCK YOU !"

When one tries to separate themselves from any unwanted addiction or fixed condition,
the mind will guessed it.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 03, 2013, 09:41:50 AM
                                        SENSE OF Wonder

                                          Part 98

                               "Turn on, tune in, and drop out."

Let me have another go at this.

When the penny drops there will be no need to understand what is written here.

Everything I have written is targeted at deconstruction of the mind that gives you a sense of identity.

That identity is the antithesis of enlightenment.

Everything you have constructed to make you uniquely you is what has given you your own unique problems.

For that to occur, one has to allow that uniqueness to give one a unique viewpoint.

However do you see that to have your unique viewpoint one has to place themselves somewhere.

All locations are surrendered and one location remains.

For that location to exist, it must be somewhere between construction and resolution.

To play this game one buys into the idea that construction occurred in the past. 
Accompanied by its twin... Resolution exists in the future.

We all live in hope...

"One day when everyone realizes that Christianity is the one true religion all the worlds problems will be resolved." 

"If I become rich and successful people will finally respect me."

"One day scientists will come up with a pill that will cure all disease."

"Once we go deep into space we will understand the universe."

"One day some baby will be born, who will grow and lead us out of the wilderness, before someone kills him."

" If I can use self discipline, maybe one day I will look and act the way the defines who I really am."

We all know that we can`t be who we really are because of our past.

We all know that we are who we are because of our past.

" I`m afraid to talk to women because of a nasty experience I had. I don`t really want to talk about it.
Unless you ask. Alright then...When I was twelve...."

"The reason I`m successful is because I worked hard and persisted with my dream."

" I can`t understand mathematics because I had a really scary teacher."

"I`m addicted to drugs because I was molested as a child."

"I`m tough and ruthless because you had to be...just to survive."

So the mind puts causation in the past and resolution in the future. Now we can have the Time of our Lives.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 04, 2013, 09:19:48 AM
                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                                  Part 99

                                            "Is there concrete all around,
                                            Or is it in my head?"

Hey... You are still reading this. Awesome.

Let me remind you again. There is absolutely no benefit in anything I am writing.

This is a de education. 

What I`m doing here is coaxing you into unlearning everything you have spent time learning.

You see, I never learned that life was serious.
Many many people have tried to teach me this lesson. Some have resorted to threats, intimidation and outright violence.

Do you remember before you took everything seriously? You know... when life was fun...

You were young and vibrant. 
Have you ever noticed how when someone tries to reign in the young and vibrant by giving them SERIOUS consequences.... the young and vibrant get the giggles?

Have you noticed that?  Did it used to happen to you?

Many a formal dinner has been ruined by some serious ponce insisting that the young and vibrant take some pretentious food eating ritual seriously.

 I`d like to record my own epitaph for posterity.

                "Had atrocious table manners. Is still alive."

Okay... Back to unlearning.

  The only reason someone would conclude that being educated was important would be to take something seriously.

In fact educating the young and vibrant into becoming serious takes precedence over any subject being rammed down their throats.

Education is so serious these days that soon there will be metal detectors at the school gates and teachers carrying concealed weapons.

No !  That would be seriously fucked up.

Kids are being educated to be serious.
They are taught that there are serious consequences for not taking their education seriously.

  "Johnny fools around in class. He is not taking his education seriously. At this rate he will never amount to anything."

                          Go Johnny.!

Makes you wonder what the world would be like if everybody just had fun all the time?

ummm   errrr...    mmmm....    .....      FUN? !!!!

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 06, 2013, 09:14:30 AM
                                                SENSE OF WONDER

                                                      Part 100

                                         The world has a serious problem.

What I`m saying here is easy to discard. After all... That is exactly what we have all been doing since we were educated out of having fun.

And everyone is in on it. Politicians, vagrants, bikies, bosses, parents, doctors, gays, cops, educators, religious leaders, neighbors, cabbies, dictators, shop assistants, news readers, soldiers, lovers, sports people, flower show organizers, siblings, commuters, positive Everybody.

And that is the conspiracy. That is the why. That is why you are fucked up!!!!

"Oh no...I`m fucked up because I have serious problems. I`m fucked up because of all the things that went seriously wrong in my life. I`m seriously fucked up because I`m about to be beheaded by religious extremists live on TV.  I`m fucked up because I have serious health problems. I`m so fucked up that I seriously believe my own bullshit."

" Anyway...How dare you accuse me of being fucked up. Who are you to accuse me of being fucked up?

                                            You are nobody!"


We are all nobody.

Nobody has the potential to become somebody. The infinity of choices are reduced to one selection.
We make this choice based on no experience. It is our choice that gives us the experience.
Naturally it is from within that selected experience receptacle that we make further natural selections  .

We stake our claim and invest time and energy into our selection. We take ourselves seriously.
And spend our lives trying to get others to take us seriously, as well.

This is the conspiracy. It is the game that we all play.

My own efforts in this regard have been an abysmal failure.

I just never could take anything seriously. I tried and tried. Honest I did.

Sometimes I`ve even gotten so serious it made me sick.
But it never took. 

I`ve even had a parade of people try to educate me into taking things seriously. Some even resorted to threats, intimidation and violence.

But once again.  I just couldn`t take any of it seriously.

You see to have a serious problem. The serious goes before the problem.

Before you decided to get serious you did not have serious problems.

The `serious epidemic` causes us to be blind to fun.

If we have a serious problem..., physical, mental or emotional, we seek out someone who has seriously studied our particular manifestation. We want the best help available to preserve the identity selection we are now stuck with.

The logic is that "this serious ailment could kill me. And then I`d be nothing. If I was nothing, I couldn`t be serious about anything."

We wind up facing surgery to remove our serious tumor.

And it ain`t fun.

The tumor appears to be why we can no longer have fun.

But if the surgeon put down his scalpel and quizzed us a little bit. He`d soon unearth the fact that we`d actually stopped having fun long before our serious tumor manifested.

If students of dis ease had not put on their serious glasses they would not have been blind to fact that the actual problem was seriousness all along.

Still...It pays the mortgage.

The psychotherapy angle on dis ease has been to seek out everything one was serious about and have a revelation about it.

     It is presumed that giving these incidents our serious attention will result in a cure.

We are encouraged to modify our constructed reality so as to achieve some sort of resolution in the future... over time.

 "Just take things a day at a time."
 "Set boundaries."
 " Take these pills."
 " Say these affirmations every day."
 "Join a support group."
"Move to Brazil."

 By doing the twenty minutes of present moment connected breathing daily, one is erasing their part in the conspiracy to take things seriously. 

                Serious is all about holding on.
                 Fun is all about letting go.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 09, 2013, 06:54:53 AM
                                       SENSE OF WONDER

                                           Part 101

                                        Coming back to life.

When we live as an accumulation of our collected circumstances and experiences, we have set our own limitations. We have defined who we are and feel protective of that manufactured identity.

This is the mechanism that defines us and ultimately traps us.

We sentence ourselves to a lifetime of hating pumpkin, or being afraid of flying, or being addicted to
food, alcohol, drugs, tobacco, gossip , searching for meaning, being an accountant, having a temper, being sarcastic, talking too much. etc.

It`s ironic that every character flaw we struggle to overcome on one hand, we justify on the other.

We can further delude ourselves by making the story behind the character flaw too horrible to confront.

This can cause us to wind up running a multinational corporation worth millions of dollars, all because we were denied a train set when we were four.

By identifying with form and defining ourselves based on circumstances and experiences we have traded joy for the pursuit of happiness.

Our identification has no choice but to seek satisfaction in the realm that we must conclude produced the deep seated feelings of dissatisfaction.

From there we use the world around us as a market for trading and interacting.
Happiness and a sense of resolution are our goal. We want the things that sooth and pacify us.
Our happiness is conditional on receiving these acquisitions.

                                        Happiness is conditional
                                            Joy is unconditional.

By joining the masses and succumbing to the conspiracy, we have moved homes. We now live in the dead zone.

We have agreed to disown 99 % of life to try to recreate that 99% of what we have deprived ourselves of and try to capture that same 99% inside our one 1%.

"i" becomes a capital "I".

The conspiracy is perpetuated by the feedback our interaction with the world gives us.

Our 1% gets off a greyhound bus at 6:00 PM Sunday night, local time, in Memphis Tennessee.
We quickly realize that we are surrounded by 1% of everybody there.
We feel justified in staying safely within our 1% and protecting what we have accumulated.

It`s a rough area. We feel frightened. There are a lot of shifty people hanging around.
We sense that those that surround us feel they could benefit by taking possession of the valuables that we have accumulated.

We ask ourselves  "When will it be safe to walk the streets?"
"When will people stop being so self obsessed and greedy?  "

We wonder if religion or science will give us the answers we seek.

We gulp down our coffee, stomp out our cigarette, and rush back to the bus.
Only to discover that all the Scientists and Religious leaders have hijacked the bus and fled , leaving us stranded on the streets and alleyways of reality.

They are headed to a brighter future totally dependent on conditional interaction with 1% of everything they encounter.

By doing the present moment conscious breathing the shell that insulates the 1% you have chosen to be,
breaks down. The 99% you have chosen to disown welcomes you back home. No apologies. No conditions, no trade off, no penalties or rewards.

It becomes effortless to fall in love with everyone you meet.
You can see the 99% of them that they still cannot.

But because of you seeing it now ,they will start to see it now to.

Maybe you can explain all this to others better than me.
I see that you can now. 

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 12, 2013, 08:40:42 AM
                                                  SENSE OF WONDER

                                                       Part 102

                                                   It don`t come easy

Every moment of existence is bright, vibrant and exhilarating. It has an excitement and joy that no
poet can come close to analogizing.

Even if you are alone and lost in the Amazon jungle, three days without food and sleep deprived.
Even if your children have just been killed in a tragic American political strategy.
Even if your cancer specialist has been diagnosed with Lymphoma.

You don`t see it ?  You don`t believe me?  It has not been your experience !
It is not true for YOU !!!

But if you can stop being YOU, it appears like magic.

YOU are preventing joy from manifesting.

The character you have assigned yourself, is so preoccupied with it`s own perpetuation through time, that it becomes the center of your universe.

You has convinced itself that if it did not exist there would be no benefit to be acquired from living.

So YOU has good times.  And YOU has bad times.

If you demanifested , there would be no time at all.

It seems impossible to YOU that anything could exist outside of time.

Time becomes a precious commodity.  If only YOU had more.....time.

YOU valiantly try to avoid the inevitable. But deep down YOU know that eventually YOU will run out of time.

Your play will be canceled. YOU will have to return your costume and discard your character.

Your character will be redundant. It`s  interaction with the others cast in your play, who will now be queuing up at casting directors doors, will cease. You won`t be recognized anymore.

The actors will be convincing casting directors of their potential.

Yes. I can ride a horse.
Yes I can sing.
Yes I can dance.
Yes I can play a soldier.
Yes I can be romantic.
Yes I can play someone who is terrorized.
Yes I can play someone sadistic.
Yes I can play a paraplegic.
Yes I can play a cross dresser.
Yes I can be extremely funny.
Yes I can speak with a Russian accent.
Yes I can look sick.
Yes I can be athletic.
Yes I can be a junkie.
Yes I can be a bum.
Yes I can be an aristocrat.
Yes. I can play Beethoven's sonatas.

"There is no pay."

"What?  You expect me to play a role for no benefit?..............  Are you out of your mind? !!!!"

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 14, 2013, 08:19:50 AM
                                                  SENSE OF WONDER

                                                        Part 103

                                                   "Peace of mind"

No such thing. Sorry to blow this one off the playing field.
It sits right up there with other famous oxymoron's like "Military intelligence" and "Religious freedum."

The entire purpose of the mind is conquest.

The mind is there to ensure that you come out as the winner.

And when by fluke you actually do come through victorious, the mind immediately refocuses on the next conquest.

The mind tricks us into thinking that it will stop hassling us once we have fulfilled certain requirements.

"Once I have that red bike I will have peace of mind."
"If I can get Bobby to ask me out on a date, then I will be able to feel complete."
"If I become qualified as a lawyer I won`t let your parents make you feel like a piece of shit anymore."
"If I see the right therapist, I will get peace of mind."
"When I get my holidays, then I can relax."
"When all of Europe bows down before me then I will be able to sleep peacefully."
When I get to Heaven, I will be protected from the devil."

Notice how all these respites are conditional...
Notice how they all create a future for the mind to perpetuate itself in...

Sorry to break it to you... But the mind is an insatiable task master.

It knows if it can keep you feeling incomplete and inadequate you will form a dependency on it that
will ensure its survival.

And it will steer you into all sorts of trouble and predicaments.

But know this.

          The moment you beg your mind for help, is the exact moment your mind turns its back on you.

It`s the one thing you can rely on the mind to do....
Abandon you !!!

You don`t see it do this.
When you are still obeying the mind it steers you away from focusing on its shortcomings.
But when you are at your wits end, the mind walks away coldly.

Our fear of being nothing motivates us to leap back into the mind and hold on like a drowning man.

The separation of you and mind terminates as you and the mind become each other.
There is total identification.

The fuse is lit. The time bomb is activated. There are no happy endings.

Yet people seem resigned to the fact that their life is headed to "destination death."

I s`pose it gives them something to do.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 17, 2013, 07:47:07 AM
                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                                  Part 104

                                              Wonder of sense

The mind demands that things make sense.
It wants a comprehensive path it can follow.
The mind knows that it has to reject anything that does not qualify as logic, to it.

If there is no evidence, then what the mind is asked to pass judgment on is condemned as ludicrous.

The mind operates inside the box.

It likes to stay busy. Just throw a random subject at the mind and it goes into gear dredging up circumstances and experiences relevant to the topic of focus.

Somehow or another the mind will come to a logical conclusion. That`s what it does.

It won`t stop till it has passed judgment on every subject offered to it.

The unspoken criteria of the mind is... " Is this of benefit?"

If it cannot conceive of any projected benefit from focusing on the given subject matter, it
will abandon that avenue in search of greener pastures.

The projected benefit is vetted by scanning for evidence or circumstances that justify the projected benefit.

The mind scans its experiences and circumstances looking for evidence of benefit.

It detects super models, sports heroes and celebrities getting lots of attention and admiration so it concludes one would benefit from having a tan or tight buttocks, or wearing sunglasses, just like the celebs and role models have.

The mind sees people who have wealth getting respect, so it pleads with you the identity to get busy and make some dosh.

The mind wants to build you into an impenetrable fortress.
It tells you , it will give you peace of mind once you have fulfilled certain requirements.

When you ultimately fail, to give the mind what it wants, it will punish you.

                                   YOUR MIND IS NOT YOUR FRIEND !!!

You are your minds` whore.

You wanna know just how savage and unrelenting the mind is???
Just read a newspaper or watch the the news.

Every single item in it makes perfect sense to mind owners.

Every single news item is about some mind, created out of circumstances and experiences, expressing itself. 

You can grab the most fiendish, villainous, evil, sadistic, torturous, manipulating, individual
and find in the  guys circumstances and experiences complete justification for every heinous act committed.

And had you the same circumstances and experiences, you would have been just like him.

This is how an all powerful GOD, gets to experience powerlessness.

When that all powerful God has had enough of the experience it looks to its circumstances and experiences to provide liberation.

You still waitng???

How`s that going by the way?

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 21, 2013, 07:08:20 AM
                                             SENSE OF WONDER

                                                    Part 105

                                              Destined for destiny

Because the minds function is to assimilate data and reach conclusions, it becomes the perfect self perpetuating machine.

The conclusions it reaches create the circumstances that give one the experiences that beg for more conclusions.

So it becomes perfectly reasonable for its host to be destined to a life of unfulfillment.

You have your dreams and aspirations. But the mind has "the facts."

The minds smug, holier than thou, catch phrase is "I told you so..."

The mind has your destiny plotted out in front of you.

Trying to escape that destiny and fly solo is met with severe reprisals from the mind.

Let`s examine an example of this.

Few people will get to experience the feeling of exhilaration of leaving the stage after giving a public performance.
And that is because few people can make it through the feelings of sheer terror the mind gives one prior to said performance.

As the moment of truth approaches the mind makes its appearance as a deluge of doubts.
It demands to know "What the fuck have you gotten us in to?"

It loses your lines. It starts to malfunction like the HAL 9000 in "2001 a Space Odyssey."

The mind refuses to cooperate. It abandons you. Now abandoned and totally defenseless you get your curtain call. 

Anyone who has suffered from stage fright knows exactly what I am talking about.
You just want any excuse to make all this go away.

You pray fro the governor to call and give you a stay of execution.

Now here is something that any of you who have performed in public will understand...

Once you are out there and start doing okay the mind will try to sneak back in to get some credit for helping you. But here is the thing the strength of your performance is in direct proportion to how much you are out of your mind.

The mind can`t keep up with what you are channeling.
You are tuned into a frequency far beyond where the mind can go.

There is no time for the sluggish processes of the mind.
When you are on stage performing are out of your mind.

And when the curtain falls, that feeling of total ecstasy and peace, is the timeless sense of joy and wonder available to all who escape servitude to the mind.

It is no wonder that we view the great performers as Gods.

It is unfortunate that when they leave the stage, and their minds repossess them, that
they fail to live up to our expectations in their personal lives.
The mind (ego) starts taking credit for the new experience. "Remember I helped you to do that.
If it wasn`t for me you`d still be standing in the wings trembling like a little girl. I made you!
Come on let`s go out and gloat. Maybe throw a TV or two into hotel swimming pools. Oh yeah and let`s get shit faced in the bar. We deserve it."

Our minds know we are nothing special. Look at all the evidence.  "I told you so."


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 23, 2013, 07:33:41 AM
                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                               Part 106

                                           Moving forward

It could only be a mind which would authoritatively utter such empty proclamations as "We are moving forward."  For the one thing the mind never does is move forward.

The mind is a warehouse of experience and circumstances.
Believe me, if you have identified with those circumstances and experiences, they are coming with you.
When the mind is confronted with jarring, unexpected traumatic phenomenon which don`t fit in with with the filing system, it looks for an out.  It goes on the news and says "We are moving forward. We are rebuilding our lives. We have put the past behind us."

Now the mind doesn`t have to drive this pallet of `that which is not self serving` around and around on  the minds fork lift.

The mind speaks of we. It has to to survive. It has an agenda to perpetuate itself. It has a radar on for co conspirators. It`s mission is to surround us with like minded people.

It will also obsessively attempt to convert others with different viewpoints to its way of thinking.

There are no barriers on how far it will go to achieve this.

Every act of physical violence is motivated by a desire to be the right way of thinking.

The mind will stop at nothing to teach others a lesson.

The mind will sincerely speak of moving forward and yet it can`t walk away from an argument.
It has to stay there like a religious zealot preaching its message "I am right."

If you tell a mind it is wrong, it will defend itself, even to the death.

The mind is willing to sacrifice the life of its host to be right.

The mess that has manifested as `life as we know it` is billions of minds being right, regardless of the consequences.

Once again... The mind is an accumulation of circumstances and experiences bouncing off each other.
The self serving agenda of the mind lures us into identifying with the overwhelming evidence of a life time.

Your mind draws from those circumstances and experiences to manufacture your hopes and dreams.
It draws on them to manufacture your fears and avoidances.

The mind manufactures your desires and wraps them in contrasting situations that inspired the desire.

We want to be happy.... But are sabotaged by unhappiness.
We want to be clean....  But are rebuked by our addictions.
We want to be successful..... But are greeted by failure.
We want to be enlightened ...but are immersed in ignorance.
We want freedom... and that is what makes us slaves.
We want to feel the passionate fire of love.... instead we walk around with fire extinguishers.

It seems that everything we want is held in place by what we don`t want.

Take any unwanted condition....

You`ll need to pick one that your experiences and circumstances have created.

Now ask your mind why it is there.

The mind will build a case for the existence of that unwanted condition.

Then it will helpfully bring forth a plan to eliminate this condition.

It will say..."Let`s move forward..."

And it will come along to.

In trillions of years of moving forward, the mind will still be there to keep the unwanted and the wanted apart.  Because that is its function and that, my friends, is where the mind LIVES.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 25, 2013, 10:02:02 AM
                                              SENSE OF WONDER

                                                   Part 107

                                             Holding go....Letting on.

"Who am I ?"
"How did I get here?"
"What is the purpose of life?"
"Is there a God?
"Will I ever find happiness?"

These are questions that mankind has had in common since we could pose questions.

The answers are as illusive now as they were when they were first asked.

And there have been some brilliant minds who have pondered these things.

And yet here we sit in our different circumstances with our own unique experiences and despite the advances in technology, that ultimately can make us all redundant, we still don`t really know why the chicken crossed the road.

Here is why....

The questions posed were all the direct result of experiences and circumstances. So one has sabotaged the answer within the very question.

We are motivated to ask a question due to the specific viewpoint or point of view, that we find ourselves in.

The roulette tables in casinos around the world are spinning as you read this.

So what? No big deal.  Try telling that to the guy who has put this weeks rent money on number 7.
His total focus is on the outcome of that specific spin of the wheel.
He, like you, is completely uninterested in any other roulette wheel spinning anywhere in the world.

So ones focus is directed at specific, personal to you, events.

That is why you are here with me now reading this.

It`s because your circumstances and experiences have led you to a viewpoint where the questions you have posed could find resolution here... 

But it won`t work that way.  This is not the latest self help philosophy.

There is no need for a new technology on self.

All of life is a giant self help course.

It teaches the self to reach for this and hold on. It teaches the self to withdraw from that and let go of it.

The `self` is a self perpetuating self help student.

Let me see if I can take you out of your specific viewpoint. Once the specificness of the question is let go of, the more than specific answer can be grasped.

So instead of asking the universe "Why is my life cursed?" The question becomes "Life is why we are blessed?!"  And it answers itself.

I know this is hard to get your thinking gear around. Your thinking gear is what makes it hard to get around, period.

For something to register with your thinking gear, it must be compatible with your circumstances and experiences.  But your experiences and circumstances are your thinking gear.

Man has been arguing with the voice in his head since he had a head to argue in.

It`s been called the persons conscience. Maybe you have a voice in your head right now.
That voice poses and answers questions from within itself.

That voice in your head is trying to solve the problems that it itself is causing.

I`ll sign off now so it has time to argue with its SELF.

Personally, I have more FUN things to do.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 27, 2013, 07:11:37 AM

                                         SENSE OF WONDER

                                           Part 108

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on February 27, 2013, 04:50:18 PM
                                                     SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                          Part 109
                                                      All and nothing

Our belief that we are the net result of all we have seen and done, predetermines what we will see and do.
This belief has given us our yard stick to measure ourselves against what is wanted and what is unwanted.

So we bulldoze our way through life as stimulus response automatons, unaware that the tracks we are laying today were the same Caterpillar tracks that have circled around behind our heads and relaid themselves.

People will say "There goes Joe. He is a broken man."

And this is the crux of what anyone seeking enlightenment is up against.

The often tacit consent conspiracy that you are, and will remain who you are, until acted on by "Higher Forces."

So right now let`s say your past has made you exactly who you are. By diving into that past to try and change who you are is like trying to do a new dance when playing the same old record.

The past is the story of how you got to be who you don`t want to continue being !!!

And everyone you meet will be there to encourage you to keep playing that game to death.

Death is the great liberator.

Remember in "My story. Sense of Doubt." I mentioned how the biographies I read on people who interested me, in the majority of cases all had something in common.
Each had been through a near death experience.

It was after the recovery from that these people became larger than life.

It`s as if everything they had been banging their heads against was gone.

And yet they all remembered the near death experience. Otherwise how else could I have been reading about it.

So these were not cases of amnesia.

   Here is the next thing I said I`d bring up again from "My story."

When I was being audited in the Church of Scientology. I disappeared for several hours and awoke the next morning "Clear."
To me it felt like no time at all had passed. That is because I was totally present moment aware and there is no time to pass.

I was nothing. I was nobody. I had no identity. I had nothing to live for. I also had nothing to die for.

That was the beginning of my TIME as a Scientologist.  Over the next twenty years I built a Scientologist personality to be. 

And just like all the celebrities I`d read about, who`d gone present moment aware, I gradually reassembled a past that I could identify with and focused into and out of that.

But just like them and the lucky few who have looked back at planet Earth .... I never lost that global overview.

Once you have hidden the earth behind your thumb, you really have the `hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy.`                                             

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 04, 2013, 09:45:18 PM
                                                 SENSE OF WONDER

                                                      Part 110


As some of you know I have just returned from a three and a half day workshop with Graham Mead.

What is so difficult, is that I want to say how amazing the experience was without sounding like millions of others who have been to some self awareness seminar and come back with a glowing review about something that was in retrospect, complete bullshit.

 Anyway let me attempt the impossible and share my perspective on what I came away with.

Firstly I was delighted to experience the fact that what I have been writing here is right on the money.

I was actually able to put it to the test.

I was able to experience everything I have written.

There were few words spoken by any of the twenty five or so people there.

None were needed. The few things Graham said were so profound and authentic that they just left you totally vulnerable. 

For example he said " This is an invitation for you to show up in your own life."

Just a few words. But until they resonate within you, it is inconceivable the avalanche of bullshit that
sweeps down from all your darkest corners.

Once you have allowed this avalanche to subside you find out how fucking amazing you are.
I mean, you actually fall in love with yourself and everyone else as a consequence.

Oh...Here is an example that some of you ex scios should find enlightening.
I had this deep emotional desire to be exterior to my body. Something that Scientology fostered and encouraged constantly. We all had visions of being able to fly off into space and considered looking back at the body as a requirement to be OT.

So for years I`ve treated my body like a fifth member of "The Rolling Stones."

Graham mentioned that if you don`t inhabit your body, something else surely will.

Immediately he pointed that out, I experienced all these ridges, self loathing, entrapment, tension,
tiredness, embarrassment, sadness, that I`ve unknowingly carried with me for years, suddenly come into my awareness. Not as moments. But as a wave of pure energy.

Had to laugh when Graham was inviting everyone to show up in their own life and a woman suggested that it sounded like it could be interpreted as being "self centered."
Graham asked "If not the "self", where then?"

Really cracks me up. What a guy.
Throw away your bucket list and meet Graham instead.

One other thing...

I once said that our experience of present moment is (I  I)  big.
When actually it is (I                                                                                                        I) big.

I need to just add a bit more to that. It`s (I                                                                          I) big, plus

                                  Come on in. The water`s fine.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 11, 2013, 11:11:55 AM
                                                 SENSE OF WONDER

                                                    Part 111

                                                The search for now.

The only way out of here is NOW.
The way out does not exist in the past or the future.

NOW is missing from the past and the future.
By searching for NOW in the past, all we find is a bunch of THEN.

And if we look for NOW in the future all we find is a bunch of WHEN.

It is WHEN and THEN that distracts out attention from NOW.
WHEN and THEN are the ingredients for making the illusion of TIME.

This results in the manifestation of stuff.
Time is a bunch of stuff in its journey from THEN to WHEN.

The stuff that manifested THEN has a WHEN to evolve into.

When we examine the past for any evidence of NOW, all we find is stuff that was THEN and will evolve into more stuff WHEN it has had the TIME to.

This is the core of our time based existence.

We know in every moment of time that , WHEN this , this, and this happen, THEN that, that and that will result.  It`s what we call logic. We protest violently anyone who tries to defy this logic.

We produce tons of stuff to demonstrate that those not obeying the laws of logic are dead wrong.

This is a heavy burden for the nonconformist to carry.

When that burden becomes too heavy to carry we just completely abandon it.

We appear to die and abandon all our STUFF.

Death is just enforced present moment awareness. We find that all the stuff that gave us our identity is meaningless.

We are no longer attached to all our stuff.

We don`t have to die to abandon all our stuff.

But we do need to know that it is simply all our stuff that is inhibiting our ability to be conscious of NOW.

So how does one define stuff exactly?

STUFF is any and everything that can be defined exactly.

Stuff is all that stands between "then and when" you, and NOW you.

`NOW you` is enlightened.
 `Then and when you`, can only exist and evolve in a state of unenlightenment, in TIME.

The more stuff you try to become free, the less free you become.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 13, 2013, 09:05:13 AM
                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                                   Part 112


Waiting still......
Waiting some more...
I can`t wait any longer...
Wait...just one more minute...
How long do we have to wait?
What are we all waiting for?
I`m tired of waiting...

It is because of our love/hate relationship with waiting that we have stuff to interact with.
An assortment of THEN stuff is mixed together and is baking in TIME till WHEN it is ready for our consumption.

Meanwhile ...We wait.

"When, ......, ........., and ........ happens, THEN I can ......, ............,  and .......... ."

Meanwhile we wait.

We hope for a favorable outcome... Meanwhile we wait.
Often we try to meddle with stuff in an effort to guarantee a favorable outcome. 

Some time we will be enlightened...till then we wait, and meddle some.

We develop uncontrollable twitches and anxiety as we question the effectiveness of our meddling.
We become paranoid. We feel incomplete. We are hanging out for the fix.

We are junkies in the game of LIFE.

There are as many addictions as their is stuff.

We are hanging out, getting the shakes, cravings, and suffering withdrawal symptoms when deprived of
our favorable result.

We scratch our heads and claw at our emaciated bodies in frustration.

"Why should we have to be constantly waiting?"

We are addicted to LIFE. Life IS WAITING.

To remain unenlightened all one has to do is remain WAITING.

Enlightenment is realized when the WAITING is over.

When the WAITING is over, enlightenment is realized.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 15, 2013, 07:59:02 AM
                                       SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 113

                                        Wait is weight

" Our act of waiting for the perfection to arrive inhibits our perception of it already being here."

Today only appears dark because it is viewed through the light one shines on today and tomorrow instead.

This is why doing the practice of daily present moment connected breathing consciousness is so effective on turning off all the lights on tomorrow and yesterday.

This leaves one`s day brighter.

The burden of carrying around ones past and future is over. No more waiting.

One experiences lightness.

One can now experience creation and cause as NOW....
The only place cause and creation can exist.

The past and the future are pure imagination. A time consuming delusion.

By waiting for circumstances and experiences to lead one to enlightenment, one remains mortal.

By entering now, one experiences weightlessness/ wait-lessness.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 19, 2013, 07:58:00 AM
                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                               Part 114

                                            Building prisons

For anyone who is still here reading this by now it may have occurred quite frustrating. There is nothing tangible. No list of instructions. In summary..It feels like it`s going nowhere.

And that is what needs to be embraced.

There is no where to go!!!

How can one get no where by going some where ???!!!

As soon as you have gone some where you have opened the possibility of going somewhere else.

The moment somewhere is brought into existence, one can be denied that somewhere. Or one can be forced to stay there.

A prison is some where that one can be forced to stay.

The fact that you are forced to stay somewhere against your will creates the overwhelming desire to be somewhere else.

What is not ever conceded is the fact that we are all forced to be somewhere by the mere fact of existing at all. 

Is it not true that we are trapped in our galaxy, in our solar system, in our orbit ,on our planet,
In our bodies, somewhere in space?

The reason we don`t feel trapped is that we are willing to experience all these somewhere else`s surrounding us, without the overwhelming desire to be located at these somewhere else`s.

So it turns out that we manufacture our own prisons, as soon as we decide we are unwilling to experience somewhere or somewhere else.

That is the prison !!!  The unwillingness to experience.

So rather that further imprison ourselves by our overwhelming desire not to experience what we are experiencing, if we were to be willing to experience our circumstances, we have at the same instant opened the secret door to our freedom.

We are only ever prisoners to our own unwillingness to experience.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 21, 2013, 07:56:50 AM
                                       SENSE OF WONDER

                                          Part 115


The present moment is the only place where one is willing to experience anything.

Anything else is pure bravado.

The unwillingness to experience something is the creation of disability.

I know... Hard to see. (because you are looking with it.)

Let me try to flavor it another way.

An unwillingness to experience death, traps one in life.

Now one views death from the life they are trapped in.

And this confirms that death should be avoided at all costs.

This is why people are so nuts on the subject of death.

When the living get a death sentence they tend to view it as something they don`t need in their life right now.

People in this position are given the green light to be totally irresponsible.

From inside of their life, they conclude that forces greater then them are causing them trouble.

Come on stay with me....

But the moment one becomes present moment aware, one is outside of that life, which is a pawn in the machinations of higher forces.

I`ll use forced present moment awareness (death) as an example.

The moment you are dead you realize you have never felt so alive.

There is an enormous sense of relief that one is not in trouble.

Momentarily one entertains the idea of being in trouble, but it has no motivation.
All efforts to experience trouble are impotent.

In an instant, all potential trouble one could be in are mocked up and dissipated.

This includes trouble with "higher forces."

It is with great joy that one reunites with the fact that there is no force higher, or lower, than oneself.

The trouble one imagined they would be in is the cause of all ones troubles.

Trouble is a falsehood.

It has motivated anti social behavior and evil intentions one experienced in life, as a kind of rebellious last stand.

Once one knows there are no higher forces one can be in trouble with, one loses the motivation to create trouble.

Oh... and the people who sentenced you to death because of all the trouble you caused, will be waiting
in the present moment to say. "Shit man. Sorry `bout that. We thought we could cause and cure trouble
at the same time.

And you say..."No trouble."

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 26, 2013, 08:04:46 AM
                                                  SENSE OF WONDER

                                                       Part 116


Part of the conspiracy is the illusion of options.

An identity imagines that it could have evolved into something other than it has.

"I could have been somebody. I could have been a contender."

Not true. That is an illusion to mask ones total obedience to mind.

An identity is the sum total of circumstance and experience.

One can be counted on to respond to any given situation, any time of the day, in a totally predictable manner.

This is called ones personality.

One imagines that the factors that led one into their specific personality would be of vast interest to other personalities that don`t identify with the one that has created the you that one mistakingly believes they are.

So one is sentenced to wear a personality out into the world.

It takes you out shopping pretending to let you choose what you purchase.

But in the end, one is only buying different brands of the same product.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 29, 2013, 07:58:53 AM
                                       SENSE OF WONDER

                                           Part 117

                                        Meeting of the minds.

All mind owners are part of the LIFE conspiracy.

The mind will hook you up with other minds that will reinforce its rightness.

Whatever the mind has used to make itself an essential part of your existence, it will go shopping for reinforcements.

It will try to surround you with "soul mates", "Kindred spirits", "Sympathizers", "Like minded people."

Groups are formed. People fly in from overseas in nice suits to share their expertise and reassure you that
you are on the right path. Heroic tales will be told of how people on the wrong path have been brought around to alignment with the groups tenets.

Mind owners at these rallies come away empowered to continue to spread the message.

It becomes clear that on the day that all minds are identical, there will be a kind of utopia here on earth.

Hitler and the Nazis knew this.
Religious groups know this.
Naturalists know this.
Politicians know this.
Rugby supporters know this.
All mind owners know this.

The only ones who don`t know this, are the present moment conscious.

The present moment conscious know that approval is a trap.
The trap is an absence of options.

By allowing oneself to be buried within a mind, one has eliminated all options and is now a slave to that mind. 

To release oneself from the mind`s grip, all one has to do is sit quietly for twenty minutes per day, connect ones breathing and ignore the mind.

Or one can do what the mind says, in the `mean time,` and wait till some brilliant mind comes along with a quick fix for only twenty easy payments of $99.99.  Plus a free lifelong, subscription to our monthly newsletter.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on March 30, 2013, 09:26:21 AM
                                                 SENSE OF WONDER

                                                        Part 118

                                           All for nothing. And nothing for all.

Present moment awareness, or present time has been thoroughly corrupted by the mind.
The best the mind can come up with to hide the present moment experience from you is to
place your focus on your present environment.

It says there is a TV set. There is a tree. There is a car. There is a footpath. This is what surrounds you now. This is the present.

But when one closes ones eyes the present moment evidence cannot be presently seen.
One can use the other senses to perceive their present moment environment.
One can feel their arse on a chair. One can hear the traffic hissing by their window.
One can smell the neighbors cooking. One can feel the temperature of the day.

There is so much evidence that present moment is the sum total of all ones circumstances, experiences and expectations.

In other words ...Not present moment awareness at all.

Think of a baby learning to walk. At first there is no expectation that the ground will be there under foot when the first, joyous, step is taken.

The baby`s sense of joy is gradually desensitized by experience. Soon the baby learns that the earth will be there under foot every time it takes a step.  The earth being there is taken for granted.

What was once new gradually becomes old.

In its haste to continue to experience its new world, the child surrenders walking over to the mind.
The mind can now do the walking for the child automatically.
The mind is a little joyless package of learning and experience. Not only can it walk for you.
It can run your whole life...if you let it.

Now the day you try to sit there and tune out of the mind, it will say. "Oh no you don`t. You gave me the job of keeping your life going. And I take my work very seriously."

It will insist you get up and walk. And talk. And argue and love and spend and save. And get attention.

The mind will make you wake up every morning as the same person.

You have now become the mind`s bitch.

But don`t worry the mind will provide ample distractions so you don`t realize it.

However if you continue failing to meet the minds expectations, it will turn on you like a woman scorned.

Enter the mind...exit present moment awareness.
Enter the mind... exit Joy.

The present moment, that the mind gives you, is an amalgam of experience, circumstance and expectation.
The present moment, absent the mind, is just the perception of the un-manifested waves of desire that
precede the world the mind has made real.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 01, 2013, 09:50:37 AM
                                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                                           Part 119

                                                     Bittersweet surrender

By assigning control of aspects of ones life over to the mind one has stopped consciously creating what they are experiencing.

This locks one into the belief that there are higher forces.

This is a holiday from responsibility. One is now the effect of fate.
Shit happens.

One becomes the victim of circumstance.
Then one looks up at the heavens and indignantly demands to know why they have been singled out for punishment.

This locks in ones mortality. One now has created the time to remain dis-empowered until an answer is forthcoming from higher forces.

From this perspective one is now resigned to the fact that there is no option other than to WAIT.

This waiting trap is self perpetuating. The mind reinforces and adds weight to this whole whacky side show.

It is a two pronged attack. On one side is the evidence that patience is a virtue and that things take time. On the other, one is punished severely for impulsive behavior and reckless attempts at instant gratification.

From there on the word "consequences" is used like a cattle prod by all conspirators to keep you playing the game as a victim.

These are the elements that have made the imaginary world appear real.

And don`t expect to win any friends telling people it isn`t real.(The world, that is.)

Here we all wait. We wait for things to be resolved. We wait for answers. We wait for happiness. We wait for enlightenment. We wait for love. We wait for success. We wait for the opportunity to do some more waiting.

Yet not one of the things we wait for can be realized in any way except for here and now.

Now is all there is. Everything else is pure imagination.

That includes ones concept of enlightenment.

                "Imagined enlightenment is unenlightenment actualized."

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 08, 2013, 08:12:14 AM
                                                 SENSE OF WONDER

                                                       Part 120

                                         Identity crisis ! What identity crisis?

The human mind has been imagining it wants to be enlightened ever since it wasn`t.

The mind can discount any and all paths to enlightenment because those paths do not fit in with the minds circumstances and experiences.

Enlightenment will never "feel right" to the mind.

Instead the mind will demand to see proof. It wants evidence. It wants statistics.
It wants everything it thrives on ignoring as a part of its daily battle plan for its host.

The mind says, "Anyone who points to the way out of here, that doesn`t include bringing the mind along, should be criticized and destroyed.  The mind hates, with a passion, anyone who says such fanciful things.

The mind will treat any such messenger as if it were a war criminal. Meanwhile it has no problem with real war criminals running countries and talking on TV.

The mind will tell anyone who points to enlightenment to get real. It will be enraged. It will hope the messenger is brought to death.

Once the messenger is eliminated it will say to its host "But there might have been something in it...
Maybe one day all the great minds drawing an income from solving the great mysteries of life will stumble on something. What`s on TV?"

So here is the dilemma all us conspirators face.  We have identified with a mind, that has an agenda.
That agenda is self preservation. Enlightenment spells the end of the mind`s reign of insanity.

The mind is always one step ahead of its host. It puts the earth under your next step. It puts the reality it carves into the expectation its host`s experiences.

The mind is putting the time its host is walking into the experience the host is having.
That experience can only include imagined enlightenment.

Real enlightenment is invisible to mind owners.

                  Enlightenment does not make sense to, or benefit, anyone`s mind..

The mind is not your friend.
The mind is the death sentence, your mind never tells you, is part of the package that comes with being a mind owner.

Till your desire to have a mind is gone, the mind is minding your business.

The mind can only be released by your own desire to show up in your own life.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 09, 2013, 09:07:45 AM
                                       SENSE OF WONDER

                                             Part 121

                                        Be a good sport.

Let me show you a little trick the mind plays on you every day to ensure its self preservation.
This is something that all mind owners have in common. So it must be normal.
It must be one of the factors that help one identify with their unenlightened version.

The mind has achieved its Godlike status by mimicking its imagined idea of what a God is.

This is sacred ground. It is taboo for the mind to concede the truth of what follows.
This subject matter causes the mind to turn on a massive dose of fear in its host,to protect itself from annihilation.

Once this aspect of the minds hold on you has been dismantled, it is very hard to become intimidated
about anything.

So the first thing to grasp is that God represents unlimited potential.
But to change from potentially anything to specifically something a bridge must be crossed.

That bridge is "judgment." 

It is that act of taking sides which transports one from being a God to becoming mortal.

The creation and use of a mind is integral to this transformation.

A distinction is made between what is desired and what is undesired.

Mind owners cannot resist the temptation to partake in this reinforcement of identification with something specific.

A mind owner is involuntary picking sides constantly. It is passing judgment on every specific thing that is displayed before it.

This is not discernment. This is unadulterated bias and prejudice.

The mind pretends it is gathering information so it can make an informed decision.

But that is a trick.

The mind is and always will put its feelers out for what corroborates what it already has adjudicated to be so. Anything else is justified as a mere anomaly.

I know this is hard to get.
Here.... Try this...  Just observe what comes across your desk or screen today and try not to take sides.
Watch the news and try to be totally impartial.

Better still, watch the sports news and realize that the only reason sports news exists at all, is because of the minds obsession about passing judgment and choosing sides.

Oh... and to keep learning that just because someone has great ball skills, doesn`t necessarily mean they are Gods in their private lives.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 11, 2013, 08:54:58 AM
                                       SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 122

                                    The player being played

The eternal mystery of what life is all about and why we are here can only exist in a mind.
Absent a mind, there is no mystery.

The mind has no motivation to resolve this mystery.
In deed it has a vested interest in perpetuating the mystery.
To that end, it will manufacture more energy to hold resolution at bay.

Take a few present moment conscious breaths NOW !

Unlimited potential precedes a judgment call.
Time is manufactured at the instant judgment is made.
Over time the judgment will magnify itself. However the moment of creation is "self" and "not self."

So the clock stats ticking with a denial of self.
The invention of lying has its genesis here.

The original lie is the act of disowning.

That which is always self has pretended that half of it is not self.

This is understood as desirable vs undesirable.

Because the distinction between desirable and undesirable is made up.
All that follows is made up on top of it.

One cannot but lie about what is desirable and what is undesirable.

The difference between the two is the basis of the lie which creates un-enlightenment and all the drama and experience that is created on that base.

The only way I could write what you are reading is by being out of my mind.
The only way you could get what I am writing is by being out of yours.

The mind will, in an act of self preservation, attempt to make this message undesirable.
Alternately it will change the message so it is desirable.

This is what all religions and philosophies are.

There is an attempt to lie about enlightenment to make it seem desirable.
This makes other religions and philosophies undesirable.

Been going on for centuries with no end in sight.

     "The only way to want or not want anything is to lie about it."

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 12, 2013, 11:46:01 PM
                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                                Part 123

                                             Life is a big lie.

Maybe pretense would be a better word. But the truth is, life is a lie.

This is hard to grasp when truth has been so bastardized by so many for so long.

The truth that is used daily as currency is, and can only be, a lie.

Even the concept that the truth will set one free is a big load of rubbish.

      "Truth is where the mind takes one back into the lie."

The truth merely reinforces ones circumstances and experiences. And it always happens in a mind.
Outside of a mind there is no such thing as truth. All there is, is a spontaneous act of creation.
It`s when that creation becomes an act of self definition that truth and lies manifest.

Outside of a mind, one is in no doubt that all experiences are an act of creation. They are created from a place of infinite potential.

Outside of a mind one is in no doubt that everything that comes to them is a message from potentially anything to specifically you.

When that message is undesirable, the specific you, instinctively knows that it came from higher forces.

"Why is God punishing me? 
I must have done some terrible things in a previous life.
"Why is this happening to me? I`ve tried to do the right thing and always told the truth."

Specific you denies all responsibility for the undesirable experiences it has.

But one has to realize that the undesirable experience one is having could not be experienced if one was not there to experience it.  `Specifically you` is an integral part of the experience.

Immediately `specifically you` registers an experience, the mind adjudicates it desirable or undesirable.
The experience ceases to just be an experience and either becomes good luck or misfortune.

All conspirators have agreed to deny responsibility for the causation of the experience.

"Shit happens!!!"

The mind`s tool for denying causation of experience is "truth."

The mind will create truth to hold one in its experience.

The truth is, one would not deliberately bring undesirable occurrences into their experience....Not in a million years. 

That truth has just brought its creator a million years worth of unenlightened lie to live in.

The search for the "truth"  is what keeps this universe going, and you stuck to it.

And the truth will keep changing the whole way through the ride.

In a hundred years every single thing that you presently know to be 100% true....will be gone.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 14, 2013, 09:56:05 AM
                                               SENSE OF WONDER

                                                      Part 124

                                                 At the movies.

A good way to illustrate the subject at hand is by looking at the fact that the entertainment industry out grosses every other industry in existence.

The whole field is based on giving people what they want to experience.

In 1963 Andy Warhol made a five hour twenty minute film called Sleep.

Sleep premiered on January 17, 1964. It was presented by Jonas Mekas at Film-makers' Cooperative. Of the nine people who attended the premiere, two left during the first hour.

It was not a box office success.

Watching someone on hiatus from experiencing anything, is not something people wanted to see.

The entertainment industry must keep their finger on the pulse of what people want to see and experience, just to stay vital and survive.

These days "test audiences" have the power to have the creators original vision amended considerably.

When Elvis gyrated his hips and the girls went wild, Elvis the pelvis delivered.

Elvis was not entertaining those who were too shocked and horrified to attend his shows.
He was focused on those who weren`t.

To that end, a great way to keep a finger on the pulse of where society is at, is to monitor the charts.
Love em or hate em. The charts give one instant feedback on what people want right now.

The entertainment industry thrives on peoples desire to be taken on an emotional ride as a spectator.

Without spectator-ism, there would be no entertainment industry.

To be entertained one must be reached on an emotional level.

One must be able to tune into another`s experience and say "I`m glad I`m not having that experience", or "Gee.. I wish it was me who was having that experience."

So one is distinguishing between desired and undesired.

While one is doing that, one is being entertained. If the entertainment is riveting, it blocks out, one`s own current experiences and circumstances.

One`s own life seems like Sleep in comparison.

One often comes out of the theater, or concert, with a warm fuzzy , excited feeling.
Nothing tangible was acquired.
Yet there is a feeling that one has been in the presence of greatness.
The entertainers have to a greater or lesser  degree re tuned you into infinite possibilities.

The entertainers have created something out of nothing. We tune into that power and we love it.

We realize the entertainers are Gods.

We too, have that potential.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 19, 2013, 08:29:58 AM
                                                   SENSE OF WONDER

                                                      Part 125

                                              Why we can`t all just get along.

Because the mind is compelled to stamp its mark on everything that comes across its desk,
we are eternally sitting in judgment.

And although, to the mind, this activity summarizes its whole function, to its poor host this compulsion of the mind is a tacit consent for the mind to have free reign in an imaginary world of conflict.

The mind is accepting and rejecting whatever it is exposed to. It is called thinking.
But it is everything but. It is a process of delineating desirable from undesirable.

The mind has no capacity for neutrality. Anything that is deemed as irrelevant or inconsequential is discarded as undesirable.

By navigating its host away from undesirable and in the direction of desirable the mind promises to see one right.

The mind has build you an identity to be, and now it will make you right for having that identity.
It will accept any stimuli that reinforces its identity and reject anything which challenges it.

And it knows how to manipulate you.

When anything comes along which challenges the minds rightness it will see that as a threat to its existence and it will take you into battle and allow you to be maimed or killed.

The mind will say "I came into being because of this, this, and this."
When another mind threatens me with that, that and that, I will reject it, with prejudice.

The mind will up the stakes to protect this and this against that and that.

We can get along with like minded people. We cannot get along with unlike minded people.

But here is the thing the mind must blind itself to to keep up the charade.

The adversary your mind has created, is identical to yours, as far as function goes.
They just have different sources of energy. Different input , if you like.

It one was to live the life of their adversary, one would be the adversary they now reject.

Every mind is completely right and 100 % justified in being who and where it is.

And that includes rejecting any mind that challenges its makeup.

This applies to the school bully or the Hanoi bombing.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 20, 2013, 09:57:48 AM
                                                SENSE OF WONDER

                                                    Part 126

                                                Rejecting acceptance.
                                                Accepting rejection.

These are two things that the mind finds impossible to do.

Anything that is not in alignment with the minds hidden agenda, will be eradicated from the minds focus.

Just picture a Christian sitting through a Muslim religious service.
The Christian mind will feel severely threatened. It will be contorting and dodging and squirming till it feels suffocated. If it were visible, it would look like a very unskilled juggler on a bicycle on a tightrope suspended across a large drop.

The Christian mind would be screaming at its owner..."Get me the fuck out of here...for Christ`s sake."

It makes no sense to the mind to attend the meetings of faiths one does not subscribe to.
Unless it has a plan to reaffirm its rightness by being able to say  "I`ve tried the rest, but mine is the best."

The reason one rejects other faiths and beliefs is that they do not match ones circumstances and experiences. What they are preaching is stuff one can`t identify with.

Yet if you had lived the life of a person who had been surrounded by a different culture then you`d be predisposed to find solace by conforming to the beliefs held in that culture.

One has to interact with the culture they are immersed in.
The minds desire to avoid rejection and ostracism is in direct opposition to ones desire to express their creative potential, untethered.

One cannot interact with others unless one is somebody.

A requirement of being somebody is to reject being somebody else.

This now leaves one vulnerable to needing to be accepted by somebody else.
But because they are somebody else, you have no real control over whether they accept you or not.
But a lifetime spent trying to get acceptance from others, certainly gives the eulogists at your funeral something to regale the mourners with.

What they won`t say is that the reason you wound up dead is because your mind ran out of ideas on how you could find acceptance.

I assume you are rejecting that statement.

The problems one faces in their journey on this plane, are all a direct result of the culture (System) they are immersed in.

Once one has failed to gain acceptance from others, one is left with big questions.
For those who don`t opt out and select distraction as a quick fix, they must consult the experts on how to gain acceptance.

And those experts routinely point to accepting higher forces as the remedy.

While the mind is further distracted sifting through what `higher forces` supposedly have to say one must do to gain acceptance from higher forces, it fails to notice that what `higher forces` have supposedly said, is what caused all of their problems in the first place.

It doesn`t matter which `higher force` one consults.
One is as nutty as the next.

It`s a case of keeping up with the Jim Joneses.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 21, 2013, 10:08:43 AM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                               Part 127

                                          Together alone.

I have stated many times here that "the mind is not your friend."

Yet to Joe Citizen, that seems like the craziest thing they could ever not hear.

Joe Citizen has a lifetime worth of proof that their mind is their friend.

It has helped them find food, trick people into having sex with them, organizing a mortgage and maybe even win a few trophies.

The mind owner has only ever experienced life from inside of his/her mind.

Well not entirely true....

What about all those times when your life fell apart and you were in a fight just to stay sane or alive.

At these times you seek council from your mind and it is "Out to lunch."

This amplifies the sense of isolation and powerlessness.

"My mind used to do all these things for me.... and now it`s all fucked up!"

The real tricky thing is that this is probably not happening to you as you read this.

If you were involved in some calamity right now your mind would be so busy regurgitating the problem over and over, that it would be too busy to see the solution.

The mind easily goes into meltdown.  Three bits of bad news, in rapid succession, is usually enough to send your mind to the crazy house.

The reason people are blissfully ignorant of the threat the mind poses to their very existence is because they are religiously obeying their mind.

The mind is fueled by experiences and circumstances.
It has a vested interest in separating you from those who are not you.

This is a self preservation scam the mind plays on its host.
It assigns the causation of any hiccups it has in providing you with a sense of fulfillment, on others.

Others, who have not lived the life you have, cannot understand you. Others cause your problems.

The mind can fill literally hundreds of psychiatric case folders with evidence to corroborate that premise, just on you alone.

All that evidence has stuck in the mind. The mind knows it is what made you who you are.
Without it, you would be lost and alone.

To the mind it is essential that you know who you are.
Because if you didn`t then you would know `who you are not.`

When you know `who you are not`, you are enlightened, and have no need for a mind to define `who you are.`

  Every experience you have that you judge undesirable, is an act of self definition.
Self definition is mortality defined.
Taking up residence in a mind is how we all wound up together alone.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 22, 2013, 08:58:52 AM
                                                SENSE OF WONDER

                                                     Part 128

                                  Your mind has a contract out on you.

The mind is holding its owners hostage. It uses reward and punishment to achieve its ends.

One is blackmailed into keeping the mind placated at all times. To do otherwise will invoke great wrath from the mind. It will not let its owner have any peace until its mandates are carried out to the letter.

To blindly obey the mind is to have peace of mind.

What no mind has ever leaked out before is the fact that the mind is the biggest mass murderer in all of history. 

The mind will make you think that the inhumanity and genocide was committed by evil, notorious, tyrants....  Individuals who had evil in their hearts. 

Yet...Each of them was a slave to his master, the mind.

Let`s take a look at the second greatest mass murderer of all time, God.

According to "God`s word" he personally executed the entire planetary population, save one family, and a bunch of animals, who then repopulated the earth under Gods law, which included "no incest."

Following that, he ordered Moses to slaughter tens of thousands.
Then think of all the millions who were killed fighting his holy wars.

Statistically, God has been responsible for more deaths than alcohol, tobacco and firearms.

Quite a feat for a "loving God."

But who is this God?

Ask one believer and you get one version. Ask another and you start to realize that the God they believe in exists as their minds version of what God is.

From inside a mind one believes, or doesn`t believe in a God.
From outside of a mind, one is the God that does not require belief or lack of.

So for thousands of years the mind has hidden behind God.

"God must be obeyed....."  No. Actually it is the mind pretending to be God that must be obeyed.

This is incomprehensible to a resident of a mind. It causes the mind to punish its owner with intimidation and fear. If the mind can locate the source of this challenge to its authority, and it has the authority to, it will order the carrier of this message to be put to death, or at least excommunicated.

You getting this?

There`s more...

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 23, 2013, 08:27:40 AM
                                                    SENSE OF WONDER

                                                        Part 129

                                                      The enemy within.

For a mind owner, life consists of getting up each day and being kicked around all day by the mind till they are so exhausted they need to sleep.

Having a mind is like hanging out with a "friend" who is constantly getting you into trouble.

Mind owners are under the illusion that the mind is protecting them from harm.
When a moment of clarity from outside of the mind disabuses one of that notion immediately.
The reality is, you are going through life protecting your mind.

The mind interprets all challenges to its authority and rightness as a personal insult to you.

No matter what mess you are in right at this moment, if you were to drop the illusion that you are actually purely in this moment, whatever problems you are experiencing would de-manifest.

The mind accompanies its host everywhere they go. It`s like a trailer full of memories and learned behavior patterns. The inertia of this weight pushes you into problematic situations as soon as you try to apply the brakes.

The mind makes the enemies that you end up engaging, before you get a chance to see what is happening.

The mind will manufacture whatever is required to justify the fights it gets you into.

The mind will defend itself against any challenges to its authority.

It hates statements like; "There is a better solution." "You are wrong." "You are making a big mistake."
" You have been found guilty." " You idiot."  "You`re full of shit." "How could you be so stupid?"
"Your time is up."

If you need to see this for yourself...Say them to some mind owners today.
If you are still alive, married, and employed, at the end of the day, say these same things to a mindless rock.

Totally different response.  Not only does a mindless object not respond to insults. It also has no desire to find out what an insult is.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 25, 2013, 09:44:52 AM
                                                   SENSE OF WONDER

                                                      Part 130

                                                   What have we learned?

There is no exam you can take to be certified as enlightened.
There is no course one can take that one graduates as enlightened.
There is no check sheet to complete.
There is no secret to uncover.
There is nothing to be experienced or learned.

The mind will become an expert on the subject of enlightenment, just so it can out-quote you and keep you unenlightened.

To that end "religious instruction" turns out to be "safety in numbers" for the unenlightened.

Each Religious philosophy requires every living being to subscribe to its doctrines for utopia to manifest on earth.

The real lesson of all religions is, "If we are all the same , conflict cannot exist."...Peace and love...

No matter what you have accumulated in your mind, no matter who you believe you are, no matter what you have done or not done, it was all a waste of TIME.

This really hits home as one is plummeting to their death.

One enters a timelessness. The last thing the mind says before it abandons you is "I am totally unprepared for this. You`re on your own." Then it`s gone.
Absent the mind one loses specific identification.

One assumes the euphoric feeling they are enjoying is pleasure.
What one is actually experiencing is a lack of pain.

One assumes the peaceful feeling they are enjoying is bliss.
What one is actually experiencing is a lack of conflict.

The wisdom one experiences is merely an absence of not knowing.
The vitality one feels is really an absence of tiredness.

The power one feels is really abandoned constriction.

The love one feels is actually the abandonment of desired and undesired, and the judgment of.

The awesomeness one feels.... The feeling of exhilaration, the feeling of being home...
The feeling of Joy and wonder... is the reunification of self.

That which was pretending to not be you has returned with the admiration for you that could only be experienced by taking the journey into time that part of you has just completed.

It is only by creating and experiencing what you are not, that has made it NOW possible to experience appreciation for what you actually are.

You cannot experience how amazing you are when you are all there is.

One does not need to die to experience how amazing they are.

But try telling that to a mind.

No one has succeeded in thousands of years. Nor are they ever likely to.

The mind knows you aren`t special. It`s its job to know that.

Just ask it... If you don`t believe me.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 26, 2013, 08:58:14 AM
                                                       SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                           Part 131

                                                        The resurrection

The activity of losing oneself to find oneself which is played out on a high frequency grand scale,
is visible in its lower frequency in the relative world.

To play any game one has to disown some part of the game for the game to exist at all.
There must be an element of `this is what I am` vs `this is what I am not.`

People can get pretty intense about playing their games.
How ones games are going, gives people the feedback they build their sense of wellbeing on.

The mind will be unsympathetic to the opposing side. When bad things happen to the opposition the mind will insist that it is the will of God.

The mind will egg you on to win at all costs. It needs the relative universe to give it feedback that you are on the winning side. You are the best. You are right. That, `that which is not you` is your bitch.

Because that is a one eyed view, it is not something visible with present moment consciousness.
The only way you can experience the glory of victory is through relegating your games to TIME.

The mind says to all conspirators that ,given TIME, the world will be convinced of your greatness. The world will know that you were right. That you were onto a winner. That you are magnificence defined.

The mind is willing to unspeakable things to anything that `is not you.`
It will beg, borrow and steal whatever it needs to make its point.

It will even lay down your life for the cause.

Your mind is not your friend.

Not matter what circumstances you find yourself enduring when this message reaches you, stop kidding yourself, the mind, that you surrendered your power to, has put you there.

Yes !!!  It was your dim witted association with your mind that has placed you in a foxhole in the desert.
It is your mind that has put you in divorce court. It is your mind that has laid you out comatose in A&E.
It is your mind that has taken the spring out of your step and the sparkle out of your eyes.
It is the mind that gets mad hearing this message.

The mind will conspire with other minds to disown this message...

  ..."And now here`s Tom with the weather."

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 27, 2013, 09:00:50 AM
                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 132

                                             Owned by the dis-owner.

The only thing standing between you and enlightenment is identification with a mind.

Because you have disowned a part of yourself, you have relinquished control of the part of you that can look back at the owned part of you with on outside perspective.

We assign responsibility for sorting this mess out to the very thing who`s existence depends on perpetuating the mess.

It`s like assigning responsibility to find a cure for cancer to someone who`s livelihood depends on there being reason to continue to research the problem.

They will unwittingly sabotage there stated purpose so as to continue to pursue the real agenda.

This is why cancer researchers abandoned the search for a cure for cancer and all mind owner conspirators allow it to happen.  An authentic search for a cure is abandoned in favour of the search for a "drug cure."

Cancer researchers have the ability to completely ignore (disown) miraculous results achieved by people using alternative methods. That`s what happens when put your life in the hands of the mind.

By the way, if you have cancer, you`ll be relieved to know that "Scientists are excited about a new drug in development that is looking very positive in clinical trials." This was as exciting to hear twenty five years ago as it is today.

The same perverted research is ongoing in the field of mental health.

Billions have been spent and yet a trained expert in this field confronted with someone in a crisis situation has pretty much the same dialog with the victim as a carpet layer would have.

When you give something a job to do that has a completely different agenda, don`t keep pretending that you are surprised by the lack of resolution.

The mind was an inevitable solution to a problem.

One had a whole segment of themselves which had to be disowned.
The mind was created to manage what was disowned.

So its whole existence, its whole reason for existing, its whole being, is rooted in disowning.

A mind does this automatically. Its not something arrived at through consensus or consultation.
Everything constructed on top of a mind has dis-ownership as its foundation.
It is the function of the mind to keep the disowned part of you from being owned and resurrected by you.

The mind will make up stories to protect itself from being exposed. You give it the power to do that.

Just observe the mind in action when you meet one again.
It will talk endlessly about what it is disowning.  Listen to any meeting of the minds.

This process normally starts soon after one learns to talk.

The mind starts to frantically make up stories about how something is not your fault.

When you are sitting outside the headmasters office the mind will be taking great liberties with the facts as it creates a story where it disowns responsibility. It rehearses the story and finely tunes it.
It convinces its owner that the truth is all about disowning.

Anytime anyone ticks you off, the mind gets busy disowning them. It knows no limits in its quest to perpetuate the illusion of individuation.

The mind is rendered powerless by NOW.
It`s only place of residence is the past and the future.
To that end , it not only rewrites history to cover its own arse...It also makes up stories to justify its owner taking forthright steps into a future.

The mind has successfully diverted its owners attention from its dirty work for thousands of years and has no plans on stopping anytime soon. It never lets you suspect that you are really owned by it.         The mind has a specific job to do. And that job is to disown.

My mind did not write any of the above. And accepts no responsibility for any repercussions from an understanding of it.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 28, 2013, 08:37:43 AM
                                         SENSE OF WONDER

                                              Part 133

                                           Dawn of the dead.

The mind makes up stories to keep its host ignorant of the end game.

It demonizes  the opposition so that they can be thoroughly disowned and stamped on like bugs.

The mind glorifies ones own side or cause with righteousness and aspirations of glory.
It returns its host from battle with the expectation of admiration and dignity.
But just ask any returned serviceman.... It was all a sham.

How long will people fall for this crape?

For as long as they are a mind owner!

I think it was Al Capone who said "You can`t con an honest man."

I thought that quote was a con as well. But NOW I see it as quite profound.

The mind is a lie factory. Its whole reason for existing is to hide the truth with constant lies.

I`m not referring here to not owning up to breaking Gods commandment about sentencing your daughter to marrying her rapist, for being raped within hearing distance of a village.

I`m talking about lying to you that a book full of such utter insane rubbish should be, and actually is, the most published book in the history of the world.

Oh...Don`t get me started...

Anyhow....  The mind convinces its owner that without it the owner would be reduced to being a zombie.
But have you been down to the mall lately?
Have a look at what minds have done to our world.

The more hold the mind has over its victim, the more self absorbed they are.

They more one is identified with a mind, the less one can tolerate pain.
Not just physical pain. Any sort of pain. Because everything is personal at that level of identification.

Because of this super sensitivity of pain, the mind owner is living in fear. Afraid to take risks. Afraid to try anything new.
Afraid to stand out. Afraid to have an authentic opinion. Afraid to smile.

The mind has convinced its owner that it is better to be stupid than to risk looking stupid.

So the mind allows its owner to become a zombie to prevent it from seeing the zombie it has become.

The mind is in the process of convincing its owner that it is right.
It knows that, given TIME, it can find or manufacture the evidence to prove it.

The mind will convince its owner that if the owner ceases to identify with the mind it has already accumulated that the owner won`t know who they are.

They will cease to be defined.
Destiny will be tampered with. And only a God has the potential to do that.

Mind forbid !!

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 29, 2013, 09:29:32 AM
                                               SENSE OF WONDER

                                                     Part 134

                                          Inside, outside...Leave me alone.

The perspective one has, regardless of how fucked up it is, can be broken down to "inside" or "outside."

The outside perspective gives one a viewpoint of detachment.
The inside perspective gives one a viewpoint of involvement.

One can be outside of many circumstances or situations, and feel no sense of ownership for them.
They are not something one is forced to deal with. Therefore little mind is paid to them.

However when one is inside specific circumstances one does feel owned and the mind is put on the spot to make everything work out fine.

But this feeling of ownership is all a TIME based pretense.
This applies equally to a problem , a bicycle, or a philosophy.

From inside of these beliefs one is convinced that these things are permanent and real.
But from outside they are like yesterdays news.

So the transformation from spectator to participant is dependent on one relinquishing ownership.
Permanence and reality are the result of participation.

One has to relinquish ownership of their full potential to be a participant.
Until one does, there is no reality to pretend to exist in.

Pure potential cannot exist in the "Real world." But pretend potential can.
It`s called "The mind."


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on April 30, 2013, 08:39:10 AM
                                             SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                  Part 135

                                               The endless enigma

The mind is the tool we use to remain unenlightened.
There has to be a part of us that is compartmented off as disowned.
Otherwise we would own everything and never be in the dark.

So for enlightenment to occur one has to take back ownership of the mind.

The mind has other plans.

It`s mission is to keep you in the dark. By doing that it has succeeded in keeping you searching for the light.

The way it deceives all mind owners is to tell them stories.

These stories always have a happy ending....given enough time.

What the mind won`t tell you is that this activity creates the time you spend in search of that happy ending. It also omits to tell you that there is no end.

Remember how you were going to live in a `happy ending` when you got your drivers license?
How about when you finally got married?
Or when you opened your first business...
Remember how you were sure you`d be happy when you brought your dream home..
Or when you finally got an X Box.

You were conned by the mind into continually walking round the coast, hoping to find the perfect beach round the next corner.

You will never find enlightenment using your mind as a guide.

The way you spot bullshit enlightenment is by being alert to "benefit."

The mind will only take you in the direction of perceived benefit.

The mind will say  "You should do this course because it will make you happy and teach you skills."
The mind will say "You should believe in this because you will go to heaven and be able to fuck forty virgins."
The mind will say..."You should learn about this and this so you will have self confidence and a strong sense of identity."

So benefit is the giveaway that any path that leads to it, is the path away from enlightenment.

But once you realize that the promised benefit is not there, the mind will then accept the story that
the path will benefit others.

Ask yourself this...

If there have been so many great minds, working for so long, for man`s benefit.....

How come man is still in the dark????????

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 01, 2013, 09:24:23 AM
                                                  SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                    Part 136

                                                Ending the search.

                  The only way to end the search for enlightenment is to stop beginning it.

The, ever helpful, mind will tell you that if you do this and this, you will be better placed to make a dash for the summit. Once certain circumstances have become owned, then one will be in the perfect position to afford the luxury of spending time contemplating the big issues.

But at the same time it disowns the fact that it has created the non perfect conditions you find yourself in to begin your journey.

If it hadn`t, it would never occur to you to make the journey in the first place.

The mind is the perfect self perpetuating machine.
It creates the very problems it is trying to solve.

The mind will insist that you take control of the very things it has relinquished control of.

This is how it hides the fact that it is the very thing you need to take control of.

The mind will say... "No. It is only by being in control of that which is disowned that is required for enlightenment." This is a story. You can tell the story in a trillion different ways.
But it is the same story told over and over.

The mind will continue to make up stories about things to piss you off.
It will blame that which is out of your control for making unenlightenment the only game on the table.

This is why you are always getting the last thing you needed whenever you make a dash for the summit.
The mind gets a reprieve and makes up a story to throw you off its scent.
It rubs your nose in the fact that there are still things out of your control.

It hangs on to stuff like that.

That`s why when you see someone lose their temper you see decades worth of frustration spew out
over some current circumstance, unworthy of such wrath.

Let`s see if we can get to it this way....

The constant stream of undesirable things that drop in your lap, inspire the mind to make up stories about it. It mixes it in with other stories that confirm your disownership of the undesirable.

Once it has fitted this new thing into its agenda it sends you out to fight its wars for it and generally strengthen your alliance with the mind.

If instead one saw the undesirable thing as a gift. Immediately one has begun the process of disempowering the undesirable and converting it into the desirable.

Once it has become desirable , it has no further use for you.
You mind is busy finding the next `last thing` you need right now.

Keep this up and there is nothing out there but the desirable.

Life becomes fun when the mandate to control things evaporates.

The control you demand over other things, is the control other things things demand over you.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 02, 2013, 08:59:47 AM
                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                                      Part 137

                                             Major Tom to ground control

The pursuit of control cannot but be accompanied by its twin,`lack of control.`

To the degree that one controls any particular thing, one must relinquish control of every other particular thing.

While a parent is controlling their own children, they are unwittingly manufacturing children out of their control.

An example...

The teacher controls their class.  The teacher leaves the room and out of control kids magically materialize from nowhere.

Things can only get out of control once you have tried to control them.

The reason someone`s life is out of control is because they have assigned control of it over to something they have no control over.

Attempting to sit quietly for twenty minutes without the mind butting in every few seconds will make it clear who is in control.

Interestingly when one can simply be in the present moment unfettered, it has not been because they have taken back control of the mind. It`s because they have disarmed the whole subject of control.

Being present moment aware is being outside of any need to control.
Having no need to control means one has no need to be controlled either.

    The out of control mind has an agenda to be in control.

      "To the extent that the out of control mind attempts to control the world, an out of control world will control it."

It is only when one tries to control something that lack of control is born.

The mind is insistent that not being in control is a death sentence. However it is only the mind that becomes redundant by you being OUT of control entirely. 


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 03, 2013, 09:00:57 AM
                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                             Part 138

                                          Trolling the con.

It is obvious to the mind that the only things giving it problems are the things that are not under its control.

So the mind instinctively declares war on that which is out of its control.

The mind does not tell its owner that the things it`s at war with are the very things it has failed to control.

Till it tried to control them...There was no war and there was no problem.

The moment one decides that they must control something, they bring themselves into direct conflict with the aspects of that which does not wish to be controlled.

So you drop your bombs on another country and immediately lose control of how that country will respond.

You decide you want to control a musical instrument and are immediately in conflict with the aspects of the instrument which are not under your control.

So one has now manufactured the TIME required to master the instrument or the country one wants to rule.  It gives one something to do.

For it is not enough just to make up time, one needs something to do with that time. And conflict is the only game on the TIME table.

This is why the world has been involved in conflict since TIME began.

If not conflict between nations, then conflict between companies. Or conflict between ideologies.
No matter what the conflict, it all begins with conflict within ones self.

That was the entry ticket to all other conflict.

Sit quietly, connect your breathing and there is the conflict waiting for you.

That conflict can be soothed in one of two ways.

Either integrate it by bringing it into the NOW.
Or go out and put closed circuit security cameras all over your city, or declare war on terror, or crime or drugs.

Or buy a gun and learn how to shoot people. Or build Guantanamo Bay.
Or get filthily rich. Or drink yourself stupid.
Or gossip about horrible people. Or lay on the sofa, in front of the TV, eating chips, and watch people get sent home for not being in control enough.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 04, 2013, 09:34:52 AM
                                                    SENSE OF WONDER

                                                       Part 139

                                              The search for the search.

When something is obvious, it has always appeared moronic to state it.
Stating the obvious is a very unsophisticated thing to do.

An unwillingness, by us, to state the obvious has led to a habit of failing to observe the obvious.

If one could perceive the obvious, there would be no mystery. Infinite possibilities would become one reality. What could be, would simply become what is.

I want you to quickly calculate how much time you have spent looking for things that were not lost.



No time at all..... Obviously.

But did you tune into that space ?

That space where there is no TIME.

The mind does not like this. There is nothing for it to do in absent time.

For the mind to kick back in it has to do something less than obvious.

It has to pretend that things can be lost. 
If things are not lost then how can it spend any of its time finding them.

You see, for something to go missing, it must have existed in the first place.
Otherwise there would be nothing missing. Nothing to feel deprived of.

There is nothing that will cause anxiety, worry, and despair in the mind like loss.

In fact that is what anxiety, worry and despair are.

But let`s look at the obvious....

The thing lost, no matter whether it be a lover, a fortune, a sense of direction, a belief, or an opportunity, ..... It must exist somewhere for it to be lost.

So all that has really happened is one has lost control of it.

 It is loss of control that has terrorized human minds since time began.

This is why minds have been so preoccupied with controlling things.

When one has present moment awareness, through either death or choice, it becomes obvious that control is something made up by a mind. It makes up control to create the lack of control that embodies it.

The mind is the powerless, lost, identification, that creates the TIME for you to search for that which was never lost.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 05, 2013, 10:52:29 AM
                                               SENSE OF WONDER

                                                  Part 140


The whole of human history is about control. The very circumstances you find yourself smothered by as you read this has its genesis in CONTROL.

You`d think CONTROL as a subject would have been hashed over by the great thinkers and written up in thick dusty books.

But for example, it is totally absent from the Koran, The Bible,  Mao`s Red book, Mein Kampf, The Origin of species, the Communist Manifesto, What is Scientology?, How to win friends and influence people, Playboy, or The cat in the Hat.

It isn`t mentioned as a subject because it is so obvious that everyone already assumes it is there as the subtext.

It is the unspoken premise that avoids inspection because of its obviousness.

When you ignore the obvious you just assume that LIFE is conflict. And the philosophies one grabs hold of are in an effort to be victorious in your daily conflicts.

Every thought the mind has ever had or written is about overcoming opposition.

Pick up every book you own....Watch every movie in your DVD collection, Listen to the lyrics of all your CD`s.  Everything the mind produces is conflict based.

The eternal fight for CONTROL.

If one just spontaneously creates a work of art without consulting the mind.... It won`t communicate with other minds that are conditioned for conflict. Your art is viewed as Avante-garde and will meet a lot of opposition from critics. If it`s too "out there" it will be labeled controversial.

The severity of the conflict can range from a bad review to thermo nuclear global war.

The whole range of drama associated with conflict is rooted in CONTROL.

Let`s look at an historical example.

You`ve heard the story a thousand times. But let`s stay neutral this time and not take sides.

Some have described at as "The greatest story ever told."
I have no conflict with that.

It`s the story of good vs evil.
It is the story of God vs The Devil.

It is the fight for control of everything.

The key player in this story is "Jesus of Nazareth."  The son of God.

When God saw that despite the millions he had slain, people still had not learned that they needed to be contolled by a loving God.
The Devil was taking control of all of God`s minions and leading them astray.

God needed to act, and quickly. It had been three thousand years since he last intervened.
So God sent his only begotten son to save all of his begotten children.

Jesus laid in wait for a further thirty years before he assumed the role of Project Manager.

Within three years he was to become, in the minds of Christians, one of the only three people ever crucified by the Romans.

Little do they realize that the romans used to hand out crucifixions like parking tickets are handed out these days.

There weren`t many breaks one could get with Roman justice. They had come up with crucifixion as a one size fits all solution to breaking the laws of GODS. (That`s right. They had Gods coming out their arses.)

Pretty much the only Law you could break back then was to challenge the right of the Roman Empire to control you.

Which is exactly what Jesus, and thousands of others, were sentenced to death for.

Jesus had gone to Jerusalem for passover weekend with every other old style follower of the God of Moses. Unfortunately the Romans had called in all their reserves for crowd control.
It was bad timing for Jesus to throw a hissy fit  inside the walls of the High Temple.

According to their own references Jesus took exception to the fact that the Temple had their own currency... A little like the Casinos of today. A worshiper of the God of Moses would exchange real currency for Temple currency, which they`d use to purchase pigeons which the Jewish priests would provide and then murder.  So the Temple priests got to keep their worthless Temple currency as well as the real currency being used at the time. And the pigeons got to help crazy people do crazy things.

Jesus caused a scene in the treasury department accusing the money changers of turning religion into a business.  And they didn`t even have Televangelists back then.

Jesus did not share Gods love with the money changers. He challenged their right to control how God was being worshiped. 
But they were just employees. They were just doing what they were paid to do by the Temple system.

Even if they went "Oh my God...Jesus , you are right" and resigned on the spot, they would have been replaced before they could compose a letter of resignation.

Instead they called the authorities.

Jesus was arrested , and murdered like a pigeon.

And three hundred years later someone thought. "I`m sure people would like to read about this."

In summary the Christian faith was born out of one Gods need to control, and his errand boy who was ill equipped to enforce that control was assuming that control was necessary at all.
Why not just create a more appealing philosophy on your own, rather than declare war on an existing one?  Why not learn to write so there is no confusion about how one can benefit by allowing one true God to control your life.

That way we wouldn`t be stuck with "The Greatest story ever Controlled."

Some may say...." No !!!!!  You`ve got it all wrong!!!!!!!  Jesus message was one of love."

And then treat me just like Jesus treated the money lenders at the temple, for challenging their right to control my thoughts and written words.

Anyhow.... Just wanted to show you that no one is exempt from having to hold their ground as the recoil from the gun they fire roots them firmly on terra firma.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 09, 2013, 09:56:54 AM
                                                    SENSE OF WONDER

                                                       Part 141


Someone reading all this might well wonder, "But what has any of this got to do with me?"

They might say that it is impossible to relate to any of these concepts. After all they are residing in the "real world."  Immersed in experiences and circumstances that cannot be ignored.
It is only by having "real"ated to these circumstances and experiences that one can get a sense of identity.

From them one can know what will bring them happiness and a sense of control.

And the one lesson the Real world has taught its participants, is that happiness is directly proportional to the amount of control one has.

If you are not happy, you can go to a professional and he will without a second thought try to help you get your life back under control.

If you haven`t totally lost control of your mind, it will offer you examples of identities in control to emulate.
One can be inspired by people`s stories about how they took control and lived happily ever after.
Those who take control are worshiped by the mind. The mind looks at them with awe and tries to copy them.

The mind reasons that if one was totally in control, one would be left wanting for nothing.

To this end all life`s participant have sentenced themselves to a constant struggle to gain control.

As incentive, the mind offers the imagined, projected future benefits of gaining control.

In Moses day, this was called "The Promised Land."

By having hope of a better future to aspire to, one has denied themselves the present moment experience of now.

Kids haven`t learned to do this fully yet and so laugh and play and push each other into bushes.

They look at how serious their parents and elders are and just can`t get it.

The parents and elders make it their business to ensure that they do get it.
Serious people have circumstances and experiences to back their case up.

These lessons set the kids up to be seriously screwed up for life.

They are taught that they must control themselves and take life more seriously.

Years later when they fail. They fail because the misinformation about controlling things is a sham.

One day, after some time taking the best advice, the kid realizes that he/she is now living a life that is devoid of fun.
They are doing things 24/7 that they don`t want to do.

Trapped. Out of control. Dangerous. cynical, and dying. Out of control.

A perfect time to surrender control over to God.

Then fun and joy will be their reward in the hereafter, God willing....

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 10, 2013, 08:31:11 AM
                                             SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 142

                                            Superior  / Inferior

The mind engages one in a constant battle for superiority.

The inferior aspects of the mind cower before superiority.

It avoids any situations where aspects of its inferiority will be exposed.

This involves the mind`s host in many experiences that are seen as complex.

One can inhabit a superiority, or an inferiority, complex.

The mind constantly points out the failings of others to make its host feel smug about its superiority.
It loses patience with bad drivers and condemns them to eternity in Hell.

Meanwhile the mind owner feels intimidated by stunningly beautiful women.
Some religions have gone to extreme lengths to eliminate this reminder of inferiority, by covering their women up.

 Inferiority and superiority are all rooted in CONTROL.

The mind inspires one to take control. It punishes its host for not being in control.

The whole subject of suffering is misplaced.

The things that cause your suffering today, are the things which are controlling you.
The mind says "if we get these out of control things , back under our control we will end our suffering."

This has created thousands of years of suffering and the struggle for control....
With no end in sight.

What has been successfully controlled is YOU.

The mind has evaded detection. It`s perpetuation has been guaranteed, by controlling its owner to be in control.

Feelings of superiority or inferiority are the symptoms to look for when flushing out the cause of all your suffering.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 11, 2013, 10:24:59 AM
                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                           Part 143

                                        Reality / Imaginary


Reality can only persist by continually re imagining it.

In fact, the more real something appears, the more one is imagining it.

This doesn`t make sense to the mind. The mind comes up with its tried and true persuasion, that reality is tangible. It is something you don`t fuck with. It can hurt you, if you don`t take it seriously.

"I have learned all these things, and more... I will protect you. I will never abandon you."

So the mind accompanies its host everywhere it goes. It controls its host by coming up with ideas on how problems can be solved by gaining control of them.

The mind avoids detection by controlling the scene from behind the scene.

The host is so preoccupied with controlling what it is occupied with in the "Real" world, that it has no faculty to examine the pre Real world.

People don`t realize what they are up against when it comes to the mind.

It will commit genocide, homicide, and suicide, with malice aforethought, to save itself.
You gave it permission to.
If only you knew it, the moment you identify with a mind your life has become a runaway train, and you are a passenger bewildered by all the sirens and police helicopters.

The reason mind owners feel so fatigued is because all a mind owner can think of to do, is hold their foot permanently on the brake pedal.

To the host, the train`s inertia is real. The faulty brakes are real. The tracks are real. The inevitable carnage of the combination of these realities is real.

It is only when one makes a leap of faith out of the train, that one sees that the train, the track, the inertia and the train wreck were all re-imaginary.

Likewise, it is only when one makes a leap of faith out of the mind, that they see the mind, destiny, motivation and suffering were all re-imaginary.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 15, 2013, 08:46:10 AM
                                           SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 144

                                       How to make things disappear
Life for a mind owner is a constant series of train wrecks. Sure there are some near misses.
Sure there are a few good times. But overall mind owners are so immersed in pressing problems that they never get a chance to stop and smell the roses.

The mind is constantly coming up with plans and schemes that will benefit it. But just as fast as it manufactures desirable things that are just out of reach, it will also sabotage its host to keep said benefits out of reach.  This gives the mind the time to stay in control and perpetuate itself.
This holds its host out of the present moment and unenlightened.

And its all real !!!!!!

If you listen to the problems another mind is giving its host, one can`t help but wonder why they can`t see they are their own worst enemy. One points this out to the troubled mind owner and one risks being erased from their Christmas card list.

The mind knows its problems are real. The train is real. The faulty brakes are real. The inevitable train wreck is real. The one thing that is unreal to the mind owner is "The obvious solution."

The mind already has an agenda of perpetuating the problems it has created.
The host goes through the motions of being a concerned citizen trying to do the right thing.
It will even take its host on  TV to debate the issues with Dr Phil or Jeremy Kyle.

Other mind owners love this shit.
Gives then them chance to gloat in the fact that there are some mind owners worse off than themselves.

Sometimes I have mind owners come to me with their problems... its nearly always problems interacting with other mind owners. Sometimes these are "REAL" problems.

I can see immediately how identified with and trapped they are.

But if one asks them if they ever played sport as a kid it gets them less identified and less trapped.

One can ask what problems they are having with that sport now?

It seems that sport is the furtherest thing from their mind. They have no connection with it whatsoever.
It had disappeared until you resurrected it.

Quiz them about how they got out of that team.

Often there is no story to tell.

They just stopped playing. One day they didn`t show up.

But you say....Did you make an announcement at the school assembly ? Did you put a notice in the paper?
Did you hire a plane to write your resignation in the sky? 

How did you leave the game you are now free of ?????

"I just stopped playing."

"No. You are making this up. That team was real. There were real games to be played. With statistics, injuries, and evidence. Maybe even trophies."

"Lance... I`m not coming to see you anymore. You make my head hurt.!!!"

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 16, 2013, 01:00:27 AM
                                               SENSE OF WONDER

                                                     Part 145

                                               "But.... What about..."

Pointing out to someone that they can simply step out of their pressing problem is always new news.
It isn`t something that one can be RE MINDED about.

It is being RE MINDED of things that the mind grabs hold of with both hands and starts hurting people.

The mind owner, offered such an opportunity to just step out of their pressing problem, goes silent for a bit.
It hadn`t come up with this suicidal thought. It never will.
It would rather destroy something YOU.

Now it will drag in all sorts of crazy, just to stay in control of its, out of control, pressing situation.
When you tell the afflicted with pressing problems that they can just jump off the train,
the mind sees the light at the end of the tunnel and it knows to never go into the light.

So the mind turns on the enlightened one and gives it hell.

The mind will focus on the pressing problems like an addict focusing on a fix. If the mind owner starts to catch on to the mind`s tricks, the mind intensifies controlling the victim`s focus over and over on the pressing problem till the victim is thoroughly DE PRESSED.

The mind won`t allow its host to see the obvious solution to DE PRESSING problems.
It won`t allow its host to see that the common denominator of all its problems is itself.

The glue that is holding all the pressing problems to the host is the host him/herself.

If the host "just stopped playing" the problems would have nothing to play with.

The depressed problem generator is so preoccupied with trying to control their REAL problems, that it is unreal to them that their depressing problems are being fueled by themselves.

The mind knows that that is NOT the case. The mind proves this by shoveling piles of "But what about...s" into the furnace.

The mind will trample over any obvious solution to pressing problems by overwhelming the potential escapee with infinite variations of

      "But, what about..."

                            ....all the scientific evidence that prove you are just a freak chemical imbalance!

                            ...All the evidence that God made you and he works in mysterious ways.

                             .....  The fact that you promised to love honor and obey, till death do you part.

                                 ...... what the experts say.

                                 ...... What people will say about you.

                                 ....  the laws of physics.

                                  .... the fact that my C.V. says I`m an amazing guy.

                                  ....  the reality that you are destined to be miserable.

                                  .....  the test results from the hospital.

                                   .... consequences. Did you forget about consequences?

                                    ... what the Christians did during the Crusades...?

                                     ... Common sense.
                                     .... Scientific fact?
                                     ..... leaving someone else to figure all this out
"But what about..." is the fuel that keeps you down here and God, up there.

But what about...


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 16, 2013, 11:05:59 PM
                                             SENSE OF WONDER

                                                 Part 146

                                                 Dis couraged

The mind is the tool in vogue for being less than you are.

If it weren`t for the mind you would know everything and have no obstacles to overcome.
And that would deny you the experience of finding out stuff and overcoming things.

Incidentally these activities are a great deal of fun when you are winning at them.
But Hell if you are, for what ever reason, unable to achieve any sense of accomplishment and satisfaction.

The thing I find astonishing is that no one has already written what I am writing now.
It`s not as if what I`m saying isn`t obvious...

The mind has the core function of moving from not knowing to knowing. From inability to ability.

When one moves into a mind, it is empty. A blank slate. It has no ability. Just a function.

That function is to be in the process of finding out.

And that is a process of re-cognition.

The mind must operate as an identity separate from you. That is why one can have a dialog with their mind. That dialog will last a lifetime if you let it.

It is only when one transcends identification with the mind that it becomes apparent that regardless of the subject matter in that dialog it was all a waste of time.

The mind will say "But what about all those years spent learning..."
                          But what about all those abilities one has mastered."
The only thing they achieved, was that they took time.

Confronting this takes courage.
Not confronting this empowers the mind to leave one dis_couraged.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 17, 2013, 09:24:36 AM
                                       SENSE OF WONDER

                                            Part 147

                                   It`s all in the mind. You are the all.

There is nothing one can discover that will bring them knowingness and enlightenment.

The mind says there is. "Stick with me... I`ll see you right." it assures it`s faithful servant.

"One day you`ll have this massive realization and all your dreams will come true."

"Scientists and thinkers are working on it as we speak. Plus millions are praying for an end to this suffering every day."

The mind is the consummate politician. It is the flashy defense attorney proving that his client is innocent.

The whole world is on a giant roundabout spinning endlessly in space under its own momentum.
The mind has convinced all the passengers that if it spins fast enough for long enough, everything will blur into unity and the reformation will occur.

Your participation in this makes you a co conspirator of the "Cosmic conspiracy."

It remains out of your consciousness until you try to get off of it.

Just sit quietly, eyes closed and connect your breathing. It is only now that you can perceive the swirling current that forces you to participate in the carnival of progress.

If you relax your resolution, you regain consciousness after even more revolutions.

I hope you`ll now be conscious of why so many of your co conspirators are giddy.

Some are so giddy that they get sick or have accidents.

Every day the the newspapers report about all the people who fell off the roundabout.

But the carousal just keeps on spinning and the casualties are soon buried to make way for new ones.

 The mind accepts this.  It pulls a `soap opera face` and says "That`s life!" 

For all those who have been on the roundabout waiting for a brighter future...

The future is here. We are in the future.  Nothing has changed. It`s all just going faster.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 18, 2013, 10:02:56 AM
                                               SENSE OF WONDER

                                                   Part 148

                                    The mind is everything you imagine it to be.

Many efforts have been made to define the mind.

But it is the minds prerogative to change.

We call it `changing our minds.`

Some people change their minds like the weather.

And like the weather, the mind still does unpredicted and unexpected things...Often with catastrophic results.

Like the weather the mind is on a mission to get even.

It yearns for a place of rest. Kind of a meteorological Heaven.
The psychological equivalent of a coma.

So trying to solve the problem of the human mind is as futile as trying to solve the weather.
Both are always ruining ones plans.

The weather causes the weather. The mind causes the mind.

To be outside of the weather one has to step off the planet.
To be outside of the mind one has to step off the plan it.

When a beneficial result is required only a mind can plan it.

Without a mind to make `plan its` all that remains is a spontaneous act of creation.... for fun.

Spontaneous is outside of time. It is NOW. Not based on a past. Not based on an imagined future.

Meanwhile a plan is grounded in an imaginary past, which it replicates in an imaginary future.
To make a plan one takes the trail of footprints from behind them and places them in front of them.
Whether it is to follow them or avoid them it matters not.
The thing that makes it an eternal walk, is that the mind is using an imaginary past to lay an imaginary future.

This is how one keeps the roundabout called life going round.  It`s very addictive.

The ground beneath one`s feet becomes real to the degree on pushes against it.

Talk about traction !!!

               "But...What about..."

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 22, 2013, 09:06:37 AM
                                                 SENSE OF WONDER

                                                      Part 149

                                                 Spinning out of control

The laws that apply to the physical realm are not relevant outside of physical.
Because mind owners are so used to bumping up against physical universe laws they bounce things off those laws as a sounding board.

"If I drop this bowling ball, it will fall on my foot and pain will shoot up my leg to my brain making swear words come out. There it all is. The evidence is there. The experiential track is there."

So when one tries to conceive of what non physical is like, they keep dropping bowling balls on their foot.

The laws of gravity etc. as observed by Isaak Newton set the benchmark for what one can rely on when approaching physical.

First law: An object at rest remains at rest unless acted upon by a force. An object in motion remains in motion, and at a constant velocity, unless acted upon by a force.

When one interacts with physical, one can be so convinced by the evidence, that one believes themselves to be physical too.  And as a result render themselves subject to physical law.

It isn`t something that one has to create moment by moment , it is the very platform where one creates from, moment by moment.

One has become subject to being, or not being, acted upon.

One`s well being becomes subject to Newton`s first law. And as one is subject to physical law, one
has physical reactions to physical stimuli and will continue to do so until acted upon by other forces.

The physical, that one believes they are, will have the experience, or lack of, their interaction with other forces act out on them.

The subject of medicine is this principle in action.

Medicine tries to use other forces to interrupt bodies in or out of motion.

Medicine never asks "Why is every body sick in the first place?"

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 30, 2013, 09:09:15 AM
                                                  SENSE OF WONDER

                                                     Part 150

                                                  Here and there..

Due to ones identification with here, one fails to register what is happening over there.

From the perspective of here one is left with no option but to speculate or assume what is occurring over there. This is all part of the ingredients of a game.
Once one has identified with a character, one has abandoned responsibility for other characters.
One feels as thought they have control of other characters... But this is delusion.

All other participants are brought into orbit around the character one is playing as.
So one sees "My children, My friends, My community, My staff, My neighborhood,  My opponents, My partner" etc.

So it is only aspects of others, that can relate to a self, that one interacts with.

To the mind, a variance of how others interact with the self can turn a friend into an enemy at a whim.

Observe the contrast between wedding photos and divorce settlements.

There are many variations of the wedding vows. But they all say the same thing.

"I am willing to be controlled to the end of fulfilling ..........`s expectations of me."

And it can be quite sexy ....for a while.

For many people their wedding is the best day of their lives.
Shortly followed by the worst life of their days.

It must be understood that the moment control is taken, `out of control` is born.

Every instance of suffering is the out of control born from the control.

Notice all the people who are fucking someone other than you...
Doesn`t even register. But when the one you pretend to control goes out of fucking control...that hurts.

Don`t worry... This is leading somewhere.

We are surrounded by other potential realities that we are blind to.
We are so focused on the reality brought to us by our identification that we are kept busy trying to hold onto that reality.

Potentially, right now, you dear reader, could be sitting in a space suit with one hours oxygen left, drifting hopelessly end over end, out beyond Jupiter.
You could be lying under a car out in the suburbs where the jack has collapsed and you are struggling to breathe.
You could be hunkered down in a bunker in the sand as people, who don`t know you use weapons made by your friends back home,to try to kill you.

You could be potentially in a hospital bed trying to work out what happened and what parts of your body are missing.

There are infinite possibilities of where you could be.

But where you are reading this from is where you specifically are.

Where you are specifically, is somewhere where someone who believed there was benefit in controlling experiences and circumstances has placed you.

Specifics increase in direct ratio to abandoned unspecified potential.

You are you, because you aren`t someone else.

The age old question "Who am I?" can only be asked by holding circumstances and experiences between the self and the answer.   

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on May 31, 2013, 07:29:33 PM
                                                  SENSE OF WONDER

                                                       Part 151

                                                  Will I? I will.

The material I`m going to try to communicate to you NOW has remained unseen by all who have been puzzled by it.

I`m afraid it has been a case of identification with the question creating the question.
The fact that one has asked it means that one has located themselves in a different realm from where the answer resides.

It`s to do with the creation of the identity that asks the question.

The creation of the question is exactly what obscures the answer.

For a question to emerge, one must create not knowing first.

An example would be the question "What is the time?

To ask that question one has to pretend to not know that there is only NOW. Time is pure imagination.

This is very obvious to someone who is outside of time. One has to be in the illusion of TIME to ask what the TIME is.

Outside of TIME there is no question to ask and no TIME to ask it. TIME is beyond imagination.

I know.... It fucks with your head. Good.

One`s head is as imaginary as the TIME it resides in.

By moving into an imaginary not knowing head one has now created the imaginary time for the imaginary answer to arrive in.

Maybe take a moment with that...

Time does not exist until one asks "will I?" By then one has already created the paradigm and the "will I?" has already become "I will."

This is the ground floor to the lives we have, will and are creating.

No wonder no one else has seen it, to my knowledge.

One has to be on both sides of a one sided coin.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 11, 2013, 09:02:11 AM
                                                                       SENSE OF WONDER

                                                                          Part 152

                                                                       Leaving normal.

It is only by beginning on the road out of unenlightenment that things that were previously invisible, come into view.
The unenlightened viewpoint had been keeping one in familiar territory.

Being immersed in familiar territory is a real burden to carry.

It gives one a backdrop to stage their play on.

The backdrop gives one a context to make sense of things within.

But it`s a process that is as hollow as chasing shadows.

It is a process that can only ever begin the ending. For every birth is the beginning of a death.

And that death is predetermined within the moments when the dye is cast.

That dye is the unenlightenment one cloaks them self in.
Death is the guaranteed, sure fire, everyone`s a winner, way of terminating unenlightenment.

But only that which is grown in unenlightenment can fall away.

To the extent that you have believed your own bullshit, you will feel disturbed by the thought of dying.

Why isn`t this information available anywhere else ??????

I`ll tell you why....  Because the only way this information can be made broadly available is by attaching some benefit to it.
"Read this and you will be happy."  "Believe this and you will go to heaven when you die."
"Use this and you will become wise and powerful."
"Grasp this and you shall fear no man." 
"Drink this and your cancer will be cured."
"Think this, and you will be enlightened."

This is not an insignificant step......

Any time spent on the road to enlightenment is actually unenlightenment.

If you are thinking  "Today I am more enlightened than I was yesterday", then you are manufacturing the enlightenment delusion.

                                       Enlightenment is what is left after you`ve given up on everything else.!

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 12, 2013, 12:03:14 AM
                                                       SENSE OF WONDER

                                                        Part 153

                                                       The crossroads of the universe.

There is no nexus of the universe where one transcends suffering and stands on the road to truth.
If there was such a place you can be sure some arsehole would have bought advertising space on the billboard placed there for your benefit.

Ever noticed how empty, insulting and dishonest advertising is?
That`s because the whole industry is founded on a lie.
That lie is that benefit can be obtained ...for a price.

And yet all the benefit one has accumulated over a lifetime, falls off the beneficiary as he closes in on death.
The mind finds it beneficial to manufacture a Disney cartoon as a substitute for the actual experience.

To soothe people`s worried minds, and empty their heavy pockets, organized religion has sold the world a crock of shit for millennia.
It has done this by pretending great wisdom and an inside scoop on where to get the best seats.

Religion says..."You can benefit by taking us seriously."

How do I know this?

Well here is something no religion or philosophy has ever told you.

You can only experience grief by first worshipping the illusion of benefit.

If you refused to allow the delusion of benefit to distract you, there would be no loss to experience.

All you experienced would be what it is and not something on a journey to become something else.

There is no coffin in existence that you would be unsettled by. Least of all, your own.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 14, 2013, 08:50:28 AM
                                                                         SENSE OF WONDER

                                                                            Part 154

                                                                   The gravity of the situation.

The factor that determines whether one holds on to things or not is whether or not the thing in question is of potential benefit.

Old and useless things are discarded like yesterdays news.

And yet there are some who are so desperate for benefit that they daren`t throw away anything, lest it be the thing that could have set the benefit treadmill back in motion.

The hoarder is trying to hold as many things as possible in their orbit, just in case...

I think the modern term for this is space junk.

What the observer at the centre of all this fails to observe is that they themselves are holding all they see in orbit around themselves.

What the observer fails to observe is that the gravity holding its planets in orbit is benefit.
Anything that is stuck in your orbit is stuck there purely based on it being of benefit.

The quadrillion, gazillion, to the power of a trillion billion things that are not stuck in your orbit are inconspicuous by there absence.

They can`t stick to you unless you implant benefit in them.

The more benefit anticipated the more mass accumulated. To the extent that one is the nucleus of their own "Soul"ar system,
one has to tense up, and plant themselves firmly on stable ground.

What the great observatories of Earth have failed to see is that what they see is there because it is being observed.
And if it is deemed beneficial. it will be there again next time it is observed.

If it isn`t deemed to be of benefit it will become folklore and used to frighten kids.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 15, 2013, 08:59:10 AM
                                                                SENSE OF WONDER

                                                                   Part 155

                                                       Creating and Looking and creating.

One cannot observe themselves.
That`s because there is simply nothing to observe.

To view anything at all, one must hold it in a context.

It is the context that rewards the observer with something to bounce off.

The discovery of self and the meaning of life has to be the most creative and divergent story ever told.
Actually it is the only story ever told.

We are perpetually creating contexts to observe ourselves in.
To the context of the mind this makes any real observation impossible.

For a true observation of self can only occur......"out of context."

By losing all context, one is no longer anchored within the observatory that their context orbits around.

 The reason what I`m saying appears to be meaningless dribble, is because it is.

This is not a viewpoint. It is not something that is arrived at.

It`s something that was always there.

Just like Peace.   Peace was there before the peace and quiet were disturbed.

War is just Peace that someone has tried to ram into a context.

Un-enlightenment is just enlightenment that someone has tried to ram into a context.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 15, 2013, 11:01:06 AM
                                                                           SENSE OF WONDER

                                                                               Part 156

                                                                         The Enlightenment mafia.

Have you noticed how my writing on the subject of enlightenment is bereft of threats and intimidation.?

Not once has an "or else" raised its ugly head. There is not one mention of "consequences."

And here I am a Dollar scholar, expelled from the best school in New Zealand, writing about enlightenment without putting any fear into the mix.

Try reading other authors. I dare you.  It all starts off nice and flowery..."God is love"... but he will seriously fuck with you if you disobey him..."

Read any book on philosophy or religion and before you know it, you are immersed in a world of terror.

If one goes to any of the gate keepers of Enlightenment and questions their rituals....
There is a good chance you will draw great wrath upon yourself from the "God of Love" representatives here on Earth.

You meet the guru of some Eastern religion and insist you will be bringing a woman to join the "Men`s" meditation classes.

That guru will damn you to hell for all eternity.... with Love."

So here is the secret to getting to understand un-enlightenment...

Look at the set of rules any religion or cult adheres to. And understand that all ritulas are watered down torture used to coerce members to follow those rules. 

There you have un-enlightenment defined.

You are now a prisoner to freedom.

You step out of this charade after time has intervened and you are as stupid, naked, and naive as when you adopted a particular practise on the road to enlightenment.

But surely there are some sincere people who want to help others to become enlightened...

Yes.     Rare ...but yes.  They are not part of a system thought,
They are enemies of the freedom system.

No system gives enlightenment.

The system is the context that denies the observer something to observe when enlightenment is the observance of nothing.

Every road to enlightenment is actually the road to unenlightenment.

Sit quietly, take your attention away from all that you have put in orbit around you.

Just as philosophy, to recover, must resist all temptation to smite apostates....

You too can release all in your orbit from obligation.

You won`t realize how all of your obligations are being held in orbit until you release them.

One has to release to realize.

The crap one holds on to is not recognized as crap while one is holding on to it.

But man once they let go, one wonders how they could have been such an idiot.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 17, 2013, 08:19:18 AM
                                                              SENSE OF WONDER

                                                                 Part 157

                                                               Bringing God

The moment one decides to be enlightened, they find themselves attracting the last thing they wanted instead.

It`s uncanny. It`s not the second to last thing. But the very last thing one wanted right now.

If it had been the second to last thing that one wanted, then one knows they could have coped with that. But just the fact that
it was the last thing , makes one realize that God has got it in for them, personally.

It`s that attention to detail that gets to you.  If one created a list of all the things one didn`t want to have happen right now, one couldn`t do it with any real conviction. Because none of it is real and pressing. So the author of this list couldn`t even tell you which was the least wanted thing.

This is too uncanny to be mere coincidence.

The only way someone could know which was the most unwelcome item on a list of tragedies, would be if they were a reverse Santa Claus, or a God.

Now for the unenlightened, being brought the last thing they needed is a curse and an insult.
It`s an excuse to remain unenlightened.

Yet to a God, bringing the cell one is trapped in, into view, is the kindest act one could imagine.

Only an enlightened God could conceive of such kindness.

Only an unenlightened mortal could interpret kindness as cruelty.

   Only an enlightened God could see cruelty as kindness.

When they are viewed as the the same thing they have no TIME to exist.

When anyone asks me how to learn to play a musical instrument I tell them that instead of thinking what they feel like doing
with the instrument they should bring forward the last thing they feel like doing.

Then do that. Once that skill is no longer the last thing they feel like doing they should select the next last thing that has come forward.

On the day when there is no last thing they want to do on their chosen instrument, they are enlightened on the subject.

You realize that means they have no back off on the instrument and nothing they can`t do on it.

There is some real power in what I`ve just told you. But you`d need to be a God to recognize it.

All my love...

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 20, 2013, 11:14:04 AM
                                                         SENSE OF WONDER

                                                               Part 158

                                                   Recognizing equals reorganizing.

It is the act of recognizing something that facilitates reorganizing ones thoughts.

This phenomenon places one at the effect of circumstances.
It leaves one with the the perpetual desire to recognize what is causing their disorganized thoughts.

It`s what people have been doing for as long as time has existed.
It is what has made the time to recognize and reorganize.
So it is the very mechanics of thought that have imprisoned people in their TIME based minds.

Everyone lives in the hope that at some future time it will all make sense and they will be able to recognize and can reorganize.

The mind will not allow one to proceed without the proceedings making sense.

The mind places an invisible wall between what is and what could be.

"I experienced this and this AND THAT IS WHY that and that."

 "............................. and that is why ................................."

Those four words are the the brush and paint that puts one in the picture.

Every activity that defines life as we know it is based on having these four words as a fulcrum.

What has been drawn into this mindset includes all efforts to free beings.
Psychotherapy and medical treatment have this ...AND THAT IS WHY.... as the unchallenged fulcrum which
has kept healing in a perpetual state of reorganization.

Dr. Fixit has recognized a new explanation for your condition, AND THAT IS WHY we need to reorganize you.

Dr. Fixit specializes in the very condition you are afflicted with.  He is so single minded about it that it allows him
to completely disregard the side effects of his methods.

Dr. Fixit is rewarded by society for ignoring 99% of who you are.

Dr. Fixit knows you have an unwanted condition AND THAT IS WHY you are sad.
Dr. Fixit cannot see that you are sad AND THAT IS WHY you have an unwanted condition.

On a personal level....  I have recently received test results that show a life threatening condition I have has been
almost totally eliminated. The medication I was taking was never to resolve the condition. It was always and only there to manage it.

If my Dr. Fixit had not taken the "hypocrite oath" he would have been curious to know how I recovered from this incurable condition. You`d think he`d at least be curious.

But he wasn`t and isn`t.

Now you`d think I`d be pissed off about this lack of interest from the medieval profession . But I`m not. I get it.
You`d think that I`d be over the moon that I have been given a new lease on life.
But right from the get go I used this condition as an invitation to broaden what I am willing to experience.

I gotta tell you. "It was a lot of FUN."

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on June 27, 2013, 09:42:41 AM
                                                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                                                               Part 159

                                                                          The war to end all peace

Try to get it that peace is waht is left after you take everything, that has been piled on top of it, off.

Peace is not something you build or create. It`s already there ...constantly.

"Peace talks" are exposed as an oxymoron.

If you are both in full agreement then what the fuck is there to talk about ?

The Peace talks are the war.

We face this dilemma as a species, as a race, as a country, as a sex. You name it it.

I know this isn`t going to be popular. What...with so much at stake and all .

There are people who`s job it is to understand and practice diplomacy and negotiation.
They have been involved in every single perpetuating international trouble spot.

One would assume there is something they can do to solve these world problems.
If they only could figure out what it was. Some real brilliant minds have wrestled with these issues.
And yet we have people`s mind full of shit running a muck on every page of the newspaper.

We face the same dilemma on a moment to moment basis in our own lives.

The mind has never allowed us to inspect its basic assumption that one can build something out of existence.

And this presumption permeates all earthly endeavours.

 The mind has set us on a course of pursuing enlightenment. It gives evolution and progress the big thumbs up.

Imagine the day when all we are is a brain in a jar, pondering existence and looking to a bright future tainted with grey matter.

The mind is not your friend. The mind is in a constant battle for survival.
It will treat you like its` bitch till you are used up.

The mind is dead set on keeping you in the game.

No matter what the problem. ... The mind will say.  "You can play your way out of this."

So the mind gets busy creating all sorts of commitments, agreements, promises and obligations.

It says; "This is the way out,. Your future looks bright. See the light at the end of the tunnel."

The mind says the future is the exit.

But the future is the eternal trap. 

The future is the minds way of keeping the last thing you want happening at arms length.

As soon as you chose to be present moment aware that last thing will be stuck on you like a fixation.

The secret to restoring self and transcending form is to stop fixation on the circumstances.
Just be with the emotion.

You are for example racked with anger and resentment.

Don`t allow the mind to build a reality that justifies that anger and resentment.
Just feel the anger in it`s pure form. It cannot persist
 unless you stick it to something.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on July 31, 2013, 09:12:37 AM
                                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                                                   Part 160

                                                         Back to square one.

You may have noticed that I have been absent from this thread for a while.

The shore story is that I have been physically unwell.

The actual story is that I`ve been on a journey. It is a journey we must all take if enlightenment is to be realized.

The journey to enlightenment can only be through unenlightenment.

 It is not possible to bring anything into existence without, at the same precise moment creating it`s exact opposite.

This is easily observed outside of oneself. Not so easy when internalized.

One cannot be well behaved without , at the same precise moment creating the possibility of bad behaviour.

One is only being one thing because they are not being something else.

Over a lifetime one defines themselves by becoming more and more specific.
The more specific one becomes the less potential they have to be something else.

It is your specific illness that locks out potential wellness.

I`m just transitioning through this as I write.

I have been to a place where there was an horizon with nothing on it.

Absolutely no reason to exist.  Total apathy. Too sad for tears.

So the things that are coming to me this moment are not inspired or motivated.
There is a purity in these words unequalled in any writing I an aware of.

" The feelings one has are the feelings one has disowned, being reflected back at the them.

 The feelings the identity created in reflection have become the platform one interacts from.

The energy being reflected is the basis of the reality one experiences.
Everything the identity is, is invested in this reflection being so real that it can be disowned.

If one tries to see through the reflection, one has no horizon and nothing to live for.

Which is the exact opposite of what life is.

This can`t be resolved logically.

There is no aha moment.

This can only be seen by having no reason to see it.

Once all motivation to see it is dissolved,  what can be seen is not the detail, but the platform.

The identity one is has been created by the God that is you. The identity cannot see the God that is you, that created it,
while it is being that which it created.
So experience one`s Godlike qualities one must be God like. There is no other way.

Now what prevents one from experiencing their Godlike qualities is their less than God like actions.

Let`s see if you get it from this angle.

The pain you feel is the pain you willed on others reflected back at you.
The powerlessness you experience is the powerlessness you willed on others reflected back at you.

The lack of self esteem you experience is the lack of other esteem you willed.

You will the esteemed experience on others and that is the experience you have willed on the self that denies responsibility for them.

I`m just starting to see into this and figured I should record what I`m seeing as it unravels.

It`s fascinating to me how organized religion has made this subject the source of so much  made up misery.

A great deal of gratitude is owed to the authors of it.
Without them we would have no unenlightenment to move out of.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 03, 2013, 12:44:15 AM
                                                              SENSE OF WONDER

                                                                Part 161

                                                              It`s no game. Part one.

The whole objective of life and an essential part of the conspiracy is denying that we are all playing a game.

Life does what it does, regardless of labels. However the leaders lifers follow are adamant that life is no game.

Many philosophers have assumed incorrectly that Life exists to teach us a lesson.
However the only lesson Life has is that Life is no game.

Leaders of the lofty  lifers say;  "You think this is a game? You thing life is one big laugh for your amusement....  I`ll show you !"

"I`ll put your circumstances and experiences in direct conflict with mime."

One cannot be enlightened while taking anything seriously.

As soon as one takes anything seriously, one is vulnerable to blackmail.

The greatest gift you can ever bestow on another is to refuse to take them seriously.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 28, 2013, 09:30:00 AM
                                                                           SENSE OF WONDER

                                                                             Part 162

                                                                   Life is what you focus on.
                                                                What you focus on is your life.

It would appear that for many the focus of their life is trying to extract their focus from undesirable circumstances.
The focus on these circumstances isn`t a free will type of deal it is more of a rubbing ones nose in it.

So one is motivated to extract themselves from undesirable circumstances.

This is so much a part of life that there is no effort to understand the mechanics of it.

There are billions of undesirable circumstances in the world. They are great sources of undesirable circumstances. Yet
there is no effort to identify with them so no focus is put on them.
It is only when something one identifies with, has been placed on the roulette table that one gives a damn about any potential outcome.

So once again we see that identification is the source of all pain. (Hypnosis demonstrates this on a regular basis.)

One assumes that control of ones focus by another is the source of an hypnotic state.

However by coming at this from a non hypnotized perspective, it becomes clear that one is not hypnotized... One can only be "further hypnotized."

Someone else cannot further hypnotize a self who isn`t already hypnotized.

And the self that is hypnotized can never be anything other than self hypnotized.

Till one un self hypnotizes they are sentenced to be a slave to their experiences and circumstances.

The same mind identification that tells you you have free will, only ever gives you one option to follow.

The hero who saved the kid from drowning pretends he had a million options at that decisive moment.
But by saving the kid he has lost himself.

Surely if he was a genuine hero he would front up to the TV cameras and say he failed to save the kid and was willing to face the world as a self confessed coward.

Now that would take REAL courage.

Is a movie star a hero because he just stuck to the script?

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on August 29, 2013, 10:08:49 AM
                                                                        SENSE OF WONDER

                                                                              Part 163

                                                                            Out of focus

The way we become dumbfounded is by misdirection of our focus.

A magician must control their focus if he is to be successful in bewildering his audience with an illusion.

We can only be mystified by being deprived of other points of view.

Focus is the leash that drags our sorry asses around the life we experience.

We only become imprisoned by focusing on the walls to our confinement.
If one is in prison to write the perfect novel, one never is in prison.

If one is on planet earth to focus on a life, one never experiences the prison Earth is.

It`s all to do with FOCUS.

Until you focus on something, it does not exist.

And something`s perpetual existence is once again granted by our focus.

It is our focus that gives us our single minded , self centred, point of view.
It is our inability to adopt other points of view that lock us into mortality.

From there we are deprived of the faculty to work in mysterious ways.
We are in denial about being the God`s that we had to not be so that our mortal selves
could be mystified by what we are reading right now.

Focusing on these words from inside the focus centre, will perpetuate the bewilderment.

On the other hand,allowing the concept, inspired by these words, to shine without having
any reaction to it, will resurrect potential.

Potential is un-focus.  Freedom is un-focus. 
Identification is focus. Slavery is auto focus.

What we focus on are our problems.
Our problems are what we focus on.

If we did not focus on something...That something would cease to exist.


Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 02, 2013, 08:55:06 AM
                                                                            SENSE OF WONDER

                                                                              Part  164

                                                                       The schizophrenic universe.

No God can create something without bringing something else into existence as well.

Something can only be what it is in the presence of something it is not.

So all that is NOT the thing, owes its existence to the thing it is NOT.

The Gods` desire for experience is dependant on identifying with something specifically.
The God now uses the word "MY."

The God ceases to take ownership of all other potentials and interprets its experiences through that identity it has specifically become.

Commonly the God has to create a mind that can do the mental gymnastics required so that the God can experience anything and give a darn.

A mind that has identified with self importance has unwittingly given birth to self unimportance.

If the mind has a choice it will go for self importance. But when the mind has no choice it begins to identify with self unimportance and
loses its way.

The universe is schizophrenic ...and so potentially is every self important mind created in it.

The help commonly available is to put you back in control of the sum total of your circumstances and experiences as imagined by your therapists circumstances and experiences.

All this dropped into my lap when other potentials that I was previously blind to, started to appear around me.

The conditioned mind has no awareness of realities outside of its circumstances and experiences.
The mould is set and one is a mere puppet until someone pulls the cord.

The trick, I have learned , is to remain immune to the temptation of identification with alternate realities.

To do otherwise is to journey into schizophrenia.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 18, 2013, 08:42:25 AM
                                                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                                                             Part 165

                                                                         What about NOW ?

The life experience is about trying to erase discomfort that exists NOW.

The discomfort that is regretted or anticipated is only significant to the extent that contemplation of it impacts on the NOW one is experiencing.

Further proof that NOW is all we have to work with. 

The imaginary past and future pretend they are real. But that is all to keep one on the treadmill of LIFE.

This is not some casual musing. The past / present projection is way down before thought. It is instinct.


It gets you doing what you do before you have awareness of who is doing what you are doing.

This is where fear resides.
The identification one has clutched at instinctively is a made up identity that has as its basis a fear of not existing.

When it has grabbed a hold of you like the parasite it is, you too will believe you can cease to exist.

The identity is an amalgam of circumstances and experiences.
And if you are who they demand you be, then you are a slave to them. You are drowning in your own circumstances and experiences.

They are your executioner.

They are why you have to, moment to moment, sabotage your own sense of pure joy and fun.

The way out of this imaginary paradigm can only be NOW.

Not the identities NOW.  The Now that exists outside of the identity.

To tune into must tune out of their instincts.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 20, 2013, 08:59:29 AM
                                                          SENSE OF WONDER

                                                              Part 166

                                                        Life is a roller-coaster.

With our complete cooperation we allow our circumstances and experiences to set the course of our lives.

The myriad of potential realities now have no platform to be viewed from.

The only viewing platform on the table is the one our circumstances and experiences have moulded for us.

The only things we allow into our experience has to meet the approval of the sum total of our experiences and circumstances.

So our paths are pre determined and set on the rails. What ever we think we are has an agenda to persist in time as that identity.

Once a Christian always a Christian. Once a fitness freak , always a fitness freak. Onece a criminal, always a criminal.

Better the devil you know....

The only thing that can change our destiny is something that  our experiences and circumstances draw a blank on.
This identity threatening phenomenon "DE RAILS" us.

It is used as a criticism to say someone has gone off the rails.
The whole world wants you to stay on the rails. You are a co conspirator.

You have a right to be here.  You can overcome huge obstacles and endure great hardships.
One day you will die in a way that fits in with everyone`s circumstances and experiences.

There is great dignity and honour in perpetuating the pretence.

It is only when one is outside of the pretence that one can see it was a pretence.

Life`s roller-coaster ride was an amusing side show. Nothing more.

This includes all tragedies, all lives, all eras, and all civilizations.

Walking around the ruins of an ancient site one can make up scenarios of what happened here.

The more accurate the scenario, the more it is made up.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on September 28, 2013, 09:02:02 AM
                                                               SENSE OF WONDER

                                                                   Part 167

                                                                Off the rails

The whole life experience is attempting to not go off the rails.
Any time someone goes "off the rails", humanity turns away in shocked embarrassment.

The stigma attached to being "off the rails" is only the first level of motivation to stay on the rails.

Staying on the rails is to perpetually dramatize one`s circumstances and experiences.
One`s interaction with life is a case of banging ones junk into other`s junk.

"I am a ............, because ............"
"Well I am not a ......... because I didn`t ........."

Of course you look at this and say..."But that`s life."

I rest my case.

While one is playing the role they have been scripted, they take it very seriously.

"I am the Queen. I wave at people."

"I am the Pope. I stay awake."

"I am a cop. I arrest bad guys."

"I am a scientist. I wish I could get laid like rock stars do."

"I am a writer. I wish I could write what people want to read."

One has very sound reasons for being what they are.

When one is doing okay...One is happy to have those reasons.
When one is not doing well one is not happy to have those reasons.

Either way , one is vulnerable. One is at the mercy of circumstances and experiences.

This is slavery. This kind of slavery is imperceivable.
That`s because one has nothing in their circumstances and experiences in contradiction to this.

Nothing else exists. So one becomes the nothing that the fake something dictates.

The only time one can collide with the fake somebody they are pretending to be, is when one
takes a stand and remains present moment aware.

Present moment awareness is off the rails. Ones struggle then becomes to remain off the rails despite
the herculean efforts of one`s humanness to ground them and overwhelm them with an array of
circumstances and experiences.

Those circumstances and experiences have put your feet  exactly where they are right now.
They are destined to walk the earth till it kills you.

Title: Re: OUR STORY
Post by: Ididntcomeback on December 29, 2013, 07:38:05 AM
                                                                      SENSE OF WONDER

                                                                                Part 168

                                                                            The end of "Our story"

This will be the final instalment of "Our story."

It is life`s grand illusion that a story can end.

From inside a story all it can ever do is change.

We have all been suckers for this hoax since time began.  We dream of a happy ending.
And if by some grand fluke the happy ending arrives , we are still there.
We go from being a gold medal winner to a cross dresser or an abusive partner. Or paranoid about dust.
It`s endless.

We call this constant struggle evolution.

We pretend that we are progressing. We are becoming more evolved. We are getting closer to Utopia.

And yet our sophisticated selves are as miserable as the flea infested cave men who knew nothing of science or religion.

Both ponder the same big questions followed by a comparable void of silence.

How can I be happy? Is there a God? Why are we here? Why is there so much suffering all around me?

Tens of thousands of years of evolution have done absolutely nothing to answer the big questions.

All it`s really done is teased us with the hope that we are getting closer to resolution of "Our Story."

Existing in this story based reality all we are doing is changing props, scripts, actors and sets. The story goes on.

Let me cut to the chase.... "WE ARE HERE TO ASK WHY ?"

No one who isn`t here has ever asked that question.

It is being here that motivates the question. The perpetuation of that question is "Our story."

I am beginning a new thread. The next series will be titled.

                                                   "OUTSIDE OF THE STORY."

                                                       SENSE OF JOY.