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« Reply #240 on: March 30, 2012, 09:14:02 AM »

                                              SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                 Part 208

                                               Losing your "voice."

The reason you are having trouble doing the breathing exercise or not doing it at all
is because of the voice in your head.

The voice in your head wants you to believe that it is the only thing standing between you and certain death.

Thick as two planks religion has told everyone that this voice is the voice of your conscience.

Little do they realize that the voice in their heads told them to say that.

"Listen to your conscience my son. It is the voice of God"

"But my conscience is telling me to rape, pillage, drink, smoke, gamble and conquer Europe."

    "No my son. That is the devil."

"So are you telling me my conscience is schizophrenic ?  ... And how come you`ve got a hard on ?"

Has it occurred to you that the most heinous acts ever perpetrated by human beings were all
dictated by voices in the heads of those psychos ?

The voices in your head will tell you that you have things to do.
Why not think about this later.
Life is just too busy right now.
Circumstances aren`t right.
Not one great mind has ever said that doing nothing will lead to enlightenment.

That`s right folks. There is absolutely no reason to sit there for twenty minutes a day and connect your breathing.  Interestingly as soon as you think of a reason to do it, you are not doing it.

Its actually funny to listen to the voice change it`s tune as one proceeds to do the daily routine.

It will start to justify why you are doing it. Just to appear to be on your team.

It will tell you that once you have this amount of focus and discipline you will be able to do amazing things. 

So you say to the voice. "Why then were you doing everything in your power to stop me just a few days ago ?"

Grab this silence. Expand it with your hands and merge with the nothingness.

When the vocalizations give up the ghost something will emerge.

Let me introduce you to "The Stranger."

« Last Edit: March 30, 2012, 09:19:30 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #241 on: March 31, 2012, 09:18:58 AM »

                                                  SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                    Part 209

                                                   Sweetly Reminiscent,
                                              Something mother used to bake.

What better way to start the day, than with some microsurgery.
Once you can just be, without the masks, without the insidious chatter the stranger will come to you.

You have met the stranger before. But you have always fallen for his tricks.
The stranger resides within your emotional core.
The stranger`s scale can be tipped with the slightest hint of desire.

The stranger makes an appearance only when the mind collapses.

You usually only experience the stranger at moments of intense emotional collapse.
Those moments after you are punched in the face. The moments where you are deserted by a loved one. That moment when you realize your car has been stolen, or you have been burgled.

The stranger makes an appearance just as an horrendous accident occurs.
The stranger is there to greet you at death.

The stranger is pure potential. Nothing but pure potential.

The stranger can potentially do anything.

You don`t need to vocalize anything to the stranger. In fact you can`t. A vocalization is born in a mind and you only meet the stranger when you have lost yours.

Let me give you an example of how the stranger serves you.

You approach the stranger as in a dream. But the dream is so surreal that you feel intense fear.
You need to get back to where you have a sense of identity. Where there is some prediction on how things will react.

Bang !!!  The stranger delivers and throws you back into physical.

The stranger will fuel your desire to be dependent.

As you return to physical, you reassemble what you can of a mind, but that mind now has a modified emotional base.  The mind is the slave of the emotions. Every physical manifestation was preceded by a thought.

Your desire for dependency will manifest any number of addictions.

Those addictions inevitably lead you back to the stranger.

You see how far reaching are the implications when dealing with the stranger.

This has made people fearful of the stranger.
The stranger is inconceivable.
They feel powerless in the strangers presence.

The stranger has manifested their powerlessness and thrown them back into physical to dramatize it.

Now here is what is new....

Right now you can befriend the stranger.
Say hello to him on the street.

Care that the stranger is in pain and do what you can to ease his suffering.

You have it in your hands right NOW to rid your world of the stranger.

Sit quietly, breath and love the stranger,

You may have tears in your eyes when you do.

After all the stranger is YOU.

« Last Edit: August 29, 2012, 08:02:24 PM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #242 on: April 01, 2012, 09:06:16 AM »

                                            SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                 Part 210

                                           Expectation of the profound.

I want to try and demystify this new character i`ve introduced you to.

This way whether you decide to befriend it now, or save it till when you next meet, it
won`t be such a profound experience.

You see the mind has need of profound experiences to budge from its present stance.

That is why people will continue to be who they are throughout their lifetime.
With the exception of profound experiences.

Profound experiences motivate the mind to change. Casual conversation never changed anyone.

Don`t believe me ?

Explain to someone, logically, why they need to give up some addiction they have.
It`s never worked since the dawn of time and yet people still attempt to do it.
This method quickly descends into physical violence.

Which is a last ditch effort to give someone a profound experience.

Someone becomes religious because of a profound experience. Till then they are only going through the motions to fit in.

In fact you can ask any religious junky when they became a  .......
They will gladly share with you their profound experience.

It starts with a horror story....  Life had become intolerable. Then they had a profound experience and now everything made sense. They were saved. The new them emerged. They were re born.

" I used to be addicted to drugs, drama, poverty, guilt, grief, approval, crime, illness, violence, .......

Now I`m addicted to God, Jesus, Buddha, Benny Hinn, Creflo Dollar, Brian Tamaki, Scientology, Medical
Science, Politics, Astrology, Amway......

"It completely turned my life around."
"See for yourself....Look at all the results !!!"
"Now all my dreams can come true."

All I have to do now is  " Obey God, meditate repent my sins, Give money to the church, become a slave, take my medication, vote Republican, worship the stars, and become a Diamond distributor."

But what they don`t see as part of their salvation package is the overwhelming, all consuming mandate to convert others to their faith.

   "An untruth must be marketed and sold.  A truth deteriorates to the extent it is marketed a sold."

Advertising companies have polluted the truth  so thoroughly that people now accept the fact that they are being lied to. It`s almost a game. Yet there is no product that they can ever sell to the world that will clean up their own bullshit.

Let me show you this in action.

Some guy who has his mind overwhelmed is invited along to see a representative of God.
This representative of God is loaded with so much bullshit that he is on a mission to convert as many people to his little fantasy land as quickly as he can.
Even one day off and the whole fantasy could collapse.

So fired up by the power of God he overwhelms the vulnerable with all his well timed theatrics and
the remnants of the marks mind are scattered to the wind.

The mark is brought into the presence of the stranger and told the stranger is God.

"God is so big and powerful. I am so weak and ready to die."

A miracle happens.

This poor sod has just lost his mind and been placed before the stranger.

The stranger grants his request and shifts the emotional core.

The mark is now presented to the cheering followers... and the faith healer
has created himself as someone who people will follow to the ends of the earth, forever in his debt..

And they do have to follow him ...because he is on the run.

Fueled by fear. Afraid that someone like me will come along and say
anyone can meet the stranger , anytime they want, obligation free.

It`s called blasphemy. 

    "Blasphemy has never been packaged and sold. No advertising company will touch it."
          "There is no profit in blasphemy."

« Last Edit: April 01, 2012, 11:33:04 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #243 on: April 02, 2012, 01:33:12 AM »

                                              SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                    Part 211


The one thing that separates answers from questions is agenda.

As one approaches the stranger a hidden agenda is revealed.

This hidden agenda is so well hidden that it has preempted every single question that has ever been asked.

That hidden agenda is "SELF PRESERVATION."

Even the suicide note is an effort at perpetuating a self.

Ironically it is that instinctual urge for self preservation that led to the suicide in the first place.

 By the time someone has seriously considered suicide, they have reached a state of overwhelming emotional crisis.  It is interesting that by now they are having vocalized conversations with the stranger. "God ...How can you let me suffer this way ? Why are you punishing me ?"

Interesting in as far as no one, to my knowledge, has ever addressed their pleas to Einstein or Darwin.
The parts of the brain aren`t mentioned either.  No one has ever sent a last ditch effort plea for help to Pfizer or Eli Lilly.

Sorry to be focusing on such a morbid subject like suicide.
It`s just it perfectly illustrates the usual conditions upon which people interact with the stranger.

But do you see the hidden agenda at work. " Give me answers or I will show you exactly what I think of your love.!!!"

People have tried to negotiate with the stranger. It has never worked.
If you were to make a list of all the unanswered prays individuals have... You`d never stop writing.

I guess by now you have concluded that I`m writing in a self indulgent clumsy sort of way ?

Is what I`m trying to get at is that God is the stranger ?

Well no. I`ve already told you that the stranger is you.

You think God gives a shit whether little Johnny gets a flash red bike for his birthday. Or if your AIDS test results come back clean.

People are so confused and insane on the subject of God it`s a pointless conversation.

So I`ll tell you what God is not. 

   "Take every single thing you`ve ever been taught about God and know you have a perfect definition of what GOD is NOT."

Really get that !!!

"But I`ve been taught that God is love. Surely you don`t have an argument with that ?"

Look I can`t even be bothered explaining how fucked up that idea is. You should have jumped off my story when I warned you to.

 Asking someone to tell you if they believe in God or not is the same thing as saying "Talk for five minutes about a subject of which you know absolutely nothing about,"

When people ask me if I believe in God. I ask them to define God. Then quiz them about their answer.
I never have to answer their question.

Why I`m bringing it up at all is that organized religion has put a cork on human enlightenment for years by holding a gun to your head regarding your self preservation.

This has given a hidden agenda to every question you have ever asked.
Yes even a simple question like "what is the time ?" can be traced back to a motivation for self preservation.

If that hidden agenda didn`t exist, you would ask and answer the question in the same instant.

"It is the eternal moment of now."

The hidden agenda has separated the question and answer and thus created the illusion of time.

The same thing applies to space.

Where am I ?  Can`t be asked with that agenda dispatched with, because there is no doubt that you are "here."

For twenty minutes or so a day take a break from where and when you pretend you are and just be ...HERE....NOW.

Once the hidden agenda drops away there is no sense of doubt that you are actually everywhere forever.

« Last Edit: April 02, 2012, 09:15:17 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #244 on: April 04, 2012, 09:40:42 PM »

                                      SENSE OF DOUBT

                                           Part 212

                                       Emergence of "The stranger"

It was Jan 2008. A news story was being broadcast around the world.

Apparently a group of anonymous computer hackers had brought down Scientology`s presence on the Internet.

I was intrigued. For years I`d been watching powerlessly as Scientology utterly destroyed anyone who
took them on. The Lisa McPherson Trust had been infiltrated and scattered to the winds.
A movie, exposing Scientology, being filmed in Florida  had to be shelved soon after the producer counted no less than fourteen Private Investigators sniffing around.
Various legal cases had been dropped or settled after battle weary Scientology victims ran out of money or will power.

There was nothing on the horizon.  I was quite despondent about there ever being a world clear of Scientology.

Then out of the blue, a kick in Scientology`s nuts came from nowhere.

It didn`t take me long to find out what was going on.

These should bring back a few memories...

Meanwhile here in New Zealand I heard there was going to be protests as well.

I grabbed a few friends, some masks, and we headed to Scientology HQ in Panmure.

Here is what happened.

You can see me arriving at 2:52 wearing a Zorro mask and carrying a sign saying
« Last Edit: April 05, 2012, 09:53:06 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #245 on: April 08, 2012, 12:27:39 PM »

                                         SENSE OF DOUBT

                                           Part 213


Unlike the rest of the anons showing up at the monthly protests, I was someone that should Scientology discover my identity, they already had seven files on me at least.

As soon as an ex Scientologist speaks out and becomes known to O.S.A. they will cull your folders looking for any weaknesses you have.

Say for example you have broken the law, Scientology can dangle this in front of you.
This type of strategy is designed to take the sting out of your tail.

But it`s more than that. Your folders contain all of your fears, everything you find emotionally overwhelming, and essentially all of your secrets.

So effectively for an ex scientologist who declares war on Scientology they have left their whole arsenal
in Scientology`s hands.

Scientology always insists that your "confessional folders are locked away safely and seen only by trained individuals who are assisting you in your path to enlightenment.

So in their mind they aren`t exploiting this fact.

They know that O.S.A. are there protecting the only business in the universe that can set people, including you, free.

So they ruthlessly destroy the bad you with a clean conscience.

It was after the second protest outside of the org in Panmure that Mike Ferris put all his training into practice to save me.

I got a "Knowledge Report" in the mail from him.  Along with the all the spelling mistakes was a xerox`ed photo of another anon. It was taken from the org with a telescopic lens.

Luckily I knew who the anon in the photo was. So I phoned him and found that he to had received a Knowledge report and a photo of me.

So this inability to differentiate who was who convinced me that Ferriss had not seen through our disguises. The method for tracking us must have been through car registrations.

Of course we had done all we could to hide our vehicles. Leaving them some distance away and only donning our costumes when we were a safe distance away.

So it appears Ferriss had gone to great lengths to place scio spies all around the vicinity of the org to connect anons with vehicles.

A few other anons started to be served with official looking legal threats from Scientology.
They were served on them as they left their homes during the week.
Or as they were approaching their vehicles.

The guts of these legal threats was that they were "non trespass" notices.
And of course having them served on you was all part of the Hollywood drama to intimidate.

"We got your number.!!"

The non trespass notice carries as much weight, legally, as a "Happy Sad birthday card.

I began to get prank phone calls.
I`d definitely get one every month, an hour and a half before a protest.

No one ever said anything.... just used their TR`s on me.

Then one Saturday morning as my team were getting the car loaded a guy come onto my
property. I was inside at the time. He approached a few of the guys outside and asked for me by name.

One of them called out to me and I came to the door.

So here is this jerk with a clipboard and asked if I am .....  .........?

"Who`s asking ?" was my response.

Then he went into this official sounding speech and held out a legal threat .Instead of taking it,
I said. " Thanks . But no thanks. I don`t know who you are or what this is all about."

He dropped it at my feet.

We loaded up the car and carried on into town.

Later on that day, after we returned I noticed these papers blowing around the lawn. So I picked them up.

One was the standard non trespass notice. But the other was to inform me that I have a documented history of indulging in terrorist activities against Scientology. That the New Zealand Police had been informed of my extremist hate campaign against them and that it would be me that the Police would come looking for should anything bad happen to the Church Of Scientology.
Signed. God The Queen and The Pope.

At the next Queen Street protest I noticed Ferriss had been joined by an elderly woman.
He escorted her up to one of the anons present.
There was some dialog between them.

When I got the chance to speak to the anon later it turned out that Ferriss had brought along this guys ex headmistress to help get one of her ex students out of a terrorist group.

« Last Edit: April 09, 2012, 07:40:06 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #246 on: April 09, 2012, 08:20:31 AM »

                                           SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                  Part 214

                                       Scientology in a corner.

Nothing outrages the world more about Scientology than its Fair game doctrine.
It`s been a constant source of out P.R. for them.

Here is the Policy

                     Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex

                       HCO Policy Letter of 18 October 1967,
                                     Issue IV

                          PENALTIES FOR LOWER CONDITIONS

                          (Applies both Orgs and Sea Org)

LIABILITY  Suspension of pay and a dirty grey rag on left arm and day
           and night confinement to org premises.

TREASON    Suspension of pay and deprivation of all uniforms and insignia,
           a black mark on left cheek and confinement on org premises or
           dismissal from post and debarment from premises.

DOUBT      Debarment from premises. Not to be employed. Payment of fine
           amounting to any sum may have cost org. Not to be trained or
           processed. Not to be communicated or argue with.

ENEMY      SP Order. Fair game. May be deprived of property or injured by
           any means by any Scientologist without any discipline of the
           Scientologist. May be tricked, sued or lied to or destroyed.

LRH:jp                                                   L. RON HUBBARD
Copyright (c) 1967                                       Founder
by L. Ron Hubbard

Followed later by this...

                   Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex

                     HCO Policy Letter of 21 October 1968

                           CANCELLATION OF FAIR GAME

The practice of declaring people FAIR GAME will cease.

FAIR GAME may not appear on any Ethics Order. It causes bad public relations.

This P/L does not cancel any policy on the treatment or handling of an SP.

LRH:ci:cden                                           L. RON HUBBARD
Copyright (c) 1968                                    Founder
by L. Ron Hubbard


It is bad enough that such a policy ever was made in the first place, even if it truly had been cancelled later.
This HCO Policy Letter (HCO P/L) does not cancel the policy, it only cancels the use of the term 'Fair Game'.

 It states clearly that the practice described in the policy (deprived of property, injured, tricked, sued, lied to or destroyed) is not cancelled.

The "Church" of Scientology does not change anything because it's wrong, no, they change it because it gives bad PR!

And here from the 1989 "  "PTS/SP COURSE - How to Confront and Shatter Suppression"

 If there is no agreement to be audited and the student who is found
to be a suppressive person will not respond to A to E (because student
has blown and can't be found or because the student flatly refuses), the
student is considered terminated.

    A waiver or quit claim is given or sent the student stating

                                                       Date _____________


    I, __________________________, having refused to abide by the Code of
(name and place of org) do hereby waive any further rights I may have as
a Scientologist, and in return for my course fee of _________________, I
do hereby quit any claim I may have on (name of org) or any Scientologist
personell or any person or group or organization of Scientology.


             2 Witnesses_________________________________________________


    Only when this is signed the student may have his course fee
returned, but no other fees as he accepted that service.

    The ex-student should realize this makes him Fair Game and outside
our Justice Codes. He may not have recourse of any kind beyond refund.
And after signing can only return to Scientology as per policy on Fair

Here is the final couple of Paragraphs from chapter 10 (ETHICS) from the book "The Mind benders" by Cyril Vosper.

The editor of Truth newspaper, J. Mahoney of Wellington, New Zealand, was declared "to be in a condition of Enemy and a Suppressive Person for condoning the printing of articles detrimental to mankind ...". Fifteen charges against Truth are listed: "

1. Which is seeking, by printing articles which are totally untrue, to turn people away from Scientology when this organisation provides at this time the only means man has to free himself from a cycle of warfare and insanity which has been prolonged for an insufferable amount of time" and "9. Which seeks to destroy maliciously and with lies a philosophy like Scientology [Surely, to God, there aren't others!] which is aiming to bring spiritual, mental and physical freedom to man and seeks to free mankind from complete spiritual oblivion" and "10. Which seeks maliciously to conceal from man the truth about the mind which has been available for years since the evolution of Einstein's theory of relativity [So that's where it all started!] which established conclusively that energy has mass and thereby provided further data directly related to the mind that thought created energy and therefore produces mass, mental mass, and has enabled further research to produce the exact structure of the subconscious or reactive mind".

Poor old Einstein has been blamed for the Atomic Bomb and the hideous rise of technology, but to blame him for Scientology as well seems a bit much! "15. Which by insistence on printing only one-sided reports on Scientology whilst knowing full well that there is another side to the story and whilst knowing that Scientology is one of the fastest growing organisations in the world, which fact has obviously only come about through the fantastic results obtained by hundreds of thousands of individuals throughout the world.

Therefore because this newspaper considers it only worth while to print the opinion of a fractional minority to the exclusion of the majority a full public apology is required." Mr. Mahoney was graciously informed that the formula for the Condition of enemy was: "Find out who you really are." If he applied this formula based on the charges of this Ethics Order, he probably found out he was the Devil Incarnate.

The Ethics Order is signed, Pat Bloomberg, HCO Secretary, Auckland and has a sweet tail-piece: "If you find yourself critical of this - look for a misunderstood word." One wonders seriously whether it is Auckland, New Zealand, Earth or Auckland, Mars!

This illustration of Scientology Ethics at work is taken from the report of the Commission of Inquiry into the Hubbard Scientology organisation in New Zealand which was issued in Wellington, N.Z., in June 1969.

The report makes fascinating reading and its conclusions are drawn with care. "... the activities, methods and practices of Scientology in New Zealand have contributed to estrangements in family relationships"; "... the attitude of Scientology towards family relationships was cold, distant, and somewhat uninterested"; "... the commission is again definitely of the opinion that Scientology has affected the custody or control of children or persons under the age of twenty-one years ..."; "... the commission's clear opinion that the activities, methods, and practices of Scientology did result in persons being subjected to improper or unreasonable pressures", nevertheless, the Commission decided not to ban or restrict Scientology activities in New Zealand.

This conclusion was based as much upon the Commission's unwillingness to add to "the body of statute law which restricts personal activities for social reasons", as upon the apparent change of heart of the Scientologists in New Zealand resulting in a letter from L. Ron Hubbard to the Commission: "With regard to the practice of disconnection, I have taken this up with the Board of Directors of the Church of Scientology, and they have no intention of reintroducing this policy, which was cancelled on the 15th November, 1968." This letter is dated 26th March, 1969 and purports to come from Saint Hill Manor, East Grinstead, Sussex, though at this date Hubbard was cruising around the Mediterranean with has flotilla of ships and yachts. His statement to "have taken this up with the Board of Directors" is laughable. He is a law unto himself. He issues edicts.

One remark by the commission is relevant: "Because of the hierarchical structure of Scientology and the extent to which policies and directions were issued from above, it seemed to the commission that, if practices which had been regarded as objectionable could be cancelled by fiat, they could also by the same fiat be reintroduced."

This is the essence of the danger of Scientology. Its actions are determined solely and completely by one individual. It does not have the moderating influences of a democratic structure. The mind of Hubbard seems composed of genius and an insensate lust for power. This unique combination has brought distress to large numbers of people already and if the lust-for-power aspect should again grow in prominence and with the vastly greater wealth and influence that Scientology commands, all Hell could be let loose.

If Hubbard were just one individual, he would be pathetic but avoidable. There are 5,000,000 Hubbards and in that quantity are not pathetic but menacing and very difficult to avoid.

So why not just drop Fairgame ?
« Last Edit: April 09, 2012, 08:23:24 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #247 on: April 13, 2012, 08:20:44 AM »

                                          SENSE OF DOUBT

                                             Part 215

                                          Freedom from Religion.

The Fair game doctrine is not a Scientology ad on. It is an essential part of its very survival.

It can never be dropped. There is no plan B.

Without Fair Game, critics and disgruntled ex members cannot be dissuaded from exposing the Cult in any other way.  They can`t be shown that they are wrong for exposing Scientology.

Quite to the contrary the more proof Scientology provides that it works, the more the critics have to
expose the lies.

Scientology is a con job. It is rotten to the core.

It promises freedom and happiness.
When all it has ever delivered is Slavery and misery.

It proves this every time it fair games an outspoken OT 8.

Scientology has no fear or conscience about using its dirty tricks and intimidation against what
they themselves promote as a free being...An all powerful thetan that fills all the criteria of a God.

Proving irrefutably that L Ron Hubbard`s gift to mankind was slavery and fear.

I personally got into Scientology to help people. And believe me people need help.

But there I was in 2008 having to explain to visitors to my home why they had been served with legal threats from Scientology.

That`s right. People who came to my home, some on foot, were followed and within days a legal threat from Scientology was served on them.

On one occasion a relative, of one of my friends was also served.

I ended up having to cover the number plates on any cars that arrived in my driveway and then
checking the coast was clear before letting them drive off.

Want to know how intimidating that was for me ?

Not in the slightest. !!!!

To me it was an inspiration. 

It was while immersed in the unique perspective these circumstances provided, I was able to
see a world that few have ever seen.

  Never could the exact embodiment of the final barrier to enlightenment have manifested so perfectly.

The final barrier is FEAR.  And FEAR is all that organized religion has to offer the world.

You may not be quite ready to see it yet....


       " All organized religion can ever do is promote the lie that you are not who you are."

         "In an enlightened world, no religion can exist."

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« Reply #248 on: April 13, 2012, 09:49:35 AM »

                                           SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                 Part 216

                                            Undoing the damage

Now is this starting to make sense ?

Organized religion has made you a stranger from yourself.

It has told you that you are small and at the mercy of greater forces.

One wrong move and you could be placed before these greater forces and punished
for eternity.  And yet. That "is" the punishment and will perpetuate into eternity until
you say... "Enough !!!"

Let me see if I can put this into perspective for you.

Imagine the most powerful wrathful entity you can.

This entity could torture you beyond description at a mere whim.
If you didn`t obey this entity you could even wind up more fucked up than you are now.

And you are as fucked up as you are despite the fact you are already obeying this powerful entity.

You can call this entity anything you want. But if you want to give it an honest name it would be "The stranger."

Now this is where people are misleading themselves and each other.

Because of their individuated identifications they can only think in those terms . So their minds name this entity.  They give it an individuated identity.

This entity has been known forever as God.

Born just before the world began, father of one, illiterate, thirty something year old son.
Resides in the sky. Sees and hears everything. Prone to fits of wrath and genocide.
Demands total devotion and servitude. Speaks only to those who run religions, serial killers, and dictators.
Is horrified by what you do with your genitalia.
Judges people and punishes them.  Gives you free will to do what you are told (Though that varies widely). And created everything, yet won`t take responsibility for any part of it. And he loves you.
Belongs in a mental asylum !!!

And that`s the best we as , mind owning, card carrying members of humanity have come up with.

Now I want you to really get this.

No entity, no God, no system, has any power over even the most insignificant of us if we did not exist !!!

                                  " Nothing can intimidate you if you are nothing."

  You must manifest to be intimidated at all.

    "The fact that you have manifested is an integral part of your own intimidation."

Notice that through out all of history...the nation of Voderkia has remained hassle free.
Not one invasion. No unpaid foreign loans. No health epidemics. No missionaries have every bicycled their serene, litter free streets. No one there needs saving.

For any of that to occur, Voderkia would have to exist in the first place. It would have to materialize.

Just think of all the hassles one could avoid if one never materialized ?

I guess you could call the realm of the un-manifested........ HEAVEN.

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« Reply #249 on: April 13, 2012, 10:12:03 PM »

                                             SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                Part 217

                     You never know you are a prisoner till you try to leave

Gee I hope I`m not coming across as all preachy.  Look if you want enlightenment just
do the breathing exercise daily for twenty minutes.

Once you have lost your identification with the mind, the rest is easy.
You don`t need anyone or anything steering you.  You will have moved homes.

From there you can call for the minds help if you are trying to remember the name of a movie star,
or pass an exam, or think of the right words. You can turn on and off any emotion you deem necessary.

But you will have lost your claustrophobic identification with the mind.

You will also through experience come to realize that 90 % of what is in the mind is bullshit anyway. Probably higher.

So let me round off a few points before I take this to the next level.

Here are a few questions and answers that I`ll pose and answer by entering your mind.

How will I know when I have lost identification with the mind ?

When you lose judgment.  Not common sense. But the type of condemning attitude rampant in society.
After all isn`t condemning someone else just saying "I have no concept of what they were thinking."

To judge another, they must have dramatized something that didn`t make sense to your mind.
Absent a mind, one does not JUDGE !!!

"How long will I have to do this daily breathing ?"

You don`t have to do it at all.  You are doing the breathing to reconnect with now you.
This reconnection will occur as a natural consequence of life and death.
Like I said earlier. " Death is enforced present moment awareness.
                          Enlightenment is chosen present moment awareness."

Present moment awareness is effortless and natural. Being present moment unaware is what is difficult and unnatural.  When you are fully present moment aware you`ll find the twenty minutes a day actually diminishes it.... Because you are present moment aware all the time.

Remember when you were eight years old and you just glowed all day. How hard was that ?

What are the benefits of being present moment aware ?

You`d have to be present moment aware to even understand the answer conceptually.

Look if you are wanting to be better this or better that, then you have yet to grasp what this is about.
As soon as you are seeking present moment awareness for anything other than the complete sense of joy and wonder, you are back on the Monopoly board, identified with a green plastic marker.
And there is nothing wrong with that. However let me warn you that there will be times when you are losing the game and you`ll say "Why is this happening to me ? I`d do anything to not be suffering the way I do ! And then you`ll remember reading this thing on the internet about present moment awareness and you`ll re read these last few chapters with a new perspective. 

"What happens when , no matter how hard I try, nothing seems to be happening ?"

Stop trying. Just let nothing happen. Make peace with nothing. You are just re-tuning.
Your sense of expectation is just the echoes of your mind.
You are transitioning from having experience to being the source of experience.

"What about thoughts that I have while doing the breathing ? Should I keep a notebook ?"

Yes.  Write in it..... " Things I thought of after I`d finished my twenty minutes of connected breathing.  NO EXCEPTIONS !!!"

"Should I wait till my life is all sorted out and I have the luxury of peace of mind before I do this ?"

Yes. I believe the year 2525 will be good for you.

« Last Edit: April 14, 2012, 10:55:45 PM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #250 on: April 14, 2012, 10:25:33 AM »

                                          SENSE OF DOUBT

                                            Part 218

                                           But.... But.....But.

"Why should I seek enlightenment now ?"

Because "now" is enlightenment.  Anywhere else you seek enlightenment will lead you back to here and now.

"I believe that I will achieve enlightenment through the grace of God and faith in our lord Jesus Christ.
Are you saying God and Jesus and the church are lying to me ?"

Yes.....and No. As you know, all religions except yours are deluded.
Yet the one thing your beliefs have not taught you, is how to convert the deluded to an understanding of the one true God.  Killing them hasn`t worked. Blowing up their discos hasn`t worked. Feeding them to lions didn`t work. Torture and burning didn`t work. Pleas to their common sense isn`t working. Declaring them "Suppressive persons" and apostates hasn`t worked. Rounding them up and gassing them was unpopular. Threatening them with eternal damnation hasn`t worked. Shunning them doesn`t work.
No wonder you are an emotional wreck !!!

The whole problem has been that you are trying to coax people into joining you in a place where you yourself aren`t. And that is the end of that big mystery that has frustrated Religious proponents since
time began.

Face the fact that you have been having a secondhand relationship with God.
Now you have an invitation to be in the presence of God directly.

Just close your eyes, connect your breathing and quiet your mind.

         "God begins where judgment ends."

Oh and say hi from me. Remind God that I still owe God nothing. (It`s a personal joke.)

"But by doing the breathing aren`t you just hyperventilating the brain and causing chemicals to react ?"

If you are slightly worried that breathing is causing you to hallucinate, I`d suggest you stop breathing immediately.  See if that helps. Maybe get permission from a medical specialist before commencing any form of breathing again.

"Why are you always making jokes about something as serious as my eternity ?"

I just can`t help myself. Don`t you see ? It`s taking yourself seriously that has made your life serious. Deadly serious. It turns out that enlightenment is actually the funniest experience you`ve never had.

"I don`t like you. Or anything you say. My life is going just fine thank you very much."

Is there a question there ?

"Yes. Till breathing is recommended by the Scientists who can build bombs that will blow the world to pieces I`ll just carry on as I am...And fuck you !!"

Is there a question there ?

"Yes. All your weird ideas make my head hurt. What gives you the right to tell people what to do ?
 I read earlier that you nearly knocked yourself out with the video "Butt slut sista`s 7". So who are you to give advice ?"

You are right. I am nobody. Possibly the first ever to look at this enigma with no agenda whatsoever..

And in the final analysis all I`m really saying is....

"Having an agenda is the very thing that prevents you from reconnecting with the agenda free now you."

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« Reply #251 on: April 16, 2012, 05:20:13 PM »

                                             SENSE OF DOUBT

                                               Part 219

                                          No longer the stranger.

Radio New Zealand broadcast an interview with the ex scientology author John Duignan after he published his book "The Complex."

It was through this site that Genny Long, an ex from Christchurch, and I were put in touch with
the host of the "Nine till noon show" on National radio, Kathryn Ryan.

I was asked to come into their Auckland studios for an interview...

So I arrived at the studio not knowing what to expect and aware of the very real possibility
 that O.S.A`s Mike Ferriss would be there as well. The receptionist at Radio New Zealand asked me to have a seat. It was an anxious wait. Just not knowing what was going on.

Next thing I`m asked to step into a booth for a sound check. Sure enough there are a pair of headphones on the table. So I slipped them on and a guy came on laughing and joking.
Then he was gone...

Next thing a female voice is introducing me. I recognized the voice...Oh shit this must be Kathryn Ryan.
Am I on the air?  Is this it ?  I wanted to just say..."Hold on a sec...Is this the interview or just chit chat ?" But then I`d sound like a dick on National radio. At that stage I didn`t realize that that spot was reserved for Mike Ferriss during his obligatory chance to respond.

So I`m still wondering if this is the sound check. 
I`m just trying to say...   this threw me.

But when I listened to the broadcast the next day, my confusion was not too evident.
Of course by then I was aware my interview was actually taped. When I heard it the next day, I was disappointed that my best work had wound up on the cutting room floor.

The editing is flawless. You couldn`t tell that any editing had been done.

But it was not surprising when you think about it.
The edited bits were the legal things I went into.

Thus the one day delay on broadcasting. They must have sent the tape over to legal for editing
before it went to air. After all they want to make an interesting program, not incur a law suit.

Here is the interview. Me first. Followed by Genny and then Mike Ferriss representing the cult in his own inimitable way.      15.4 Megabites

Hope you enjoy....

« Last Edit: April 17, 2012, 07:46:20 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #252 on: April 17, 2012, 09:04:04 PM »

                                        SENSE OF DOUBT

                                            Part 220

                                        How to spot a cult

I don`t want to go into detail about how. But I got hooked up with a documentary making crew.

They were making a documentary for the "Inside New Zealand " series.

I guess one of their researchers had been reading "my story" because I got a phone call from a woman asking me for more details about some of my early involvement in Scientology here in New Zealand.

She wanted names. So I gave them to her.

They did find the guy who had gone nuts and tried to walk to Hamilton.
I was told by them that he was not willing to take part in the doco, however he did confirm my story.

They never did find my ex girlfriend who was raped.
Girls marry and change their names. Much harder to locate.

I was aware that there were three ex Scios willing to go on record. But the late comer was
getting the heat put on her by Ferriss, via a family member, who was still willing to drink the Cool aid.

When that didn`t work Ferriss started threatening legal action,
According to him this girl had signed a confidentiality agreement.

The  agreement was never received. All the Gibson Group`s lawyer, who was representing this girl, received was a standard staff contract and conveyancing papers for the sale of a house.

In a strategic move that was unique in legal history Scientology was leaving irrefutable proof they they were incompetent and disorganized.

So when Scientology bully tactics were having no effect, they changed strategies again and decided to try to make friends with the documentary makers.

A delegation was sent down to Wellington armed with theta.
Mike Ferriss, Wendy Honnor, and Vicky Dunstan all arrived ready to explain what Scientology was
to the  "How to spot a cult" producer and director. 

Unfortunately the documentary was not about what Scientology is. It was about what signs to look for to know if you are dealing with a cult.

Everything Scientology was doing to not be mentioned in the doco was actually proof that it definitely ticked all the boxes.

The Gibson Group were meticulously fact checking everything about Scientology.
A number of times I was asked to find references in Scio books and technical volumes for them.

Finally the day of my interview came.
I suggested we not use my home due to its vicinity to the airport. (Noise)

So we met at someone else`s home.
I`d taken along a pile of Scio promo and references in case they were needed.

I was interviewed for over three hours.
But the subject matter was so provocative that even after the shoot the crew surrounded me with questions. 

One of the points I was making was that Scientology is not up front about who they are and what they are up to. They are on a mission to get into positions of power over their unsuspecting victims.

I opened up a recent newsletter from the org for them to see.
The sound guy almost had a heart attack.

"Is that Ally Axford ?"  Yep.
She`s not a Scientologist is she ?".....   Yep.

"Oh my God. Oh my God...I know her.".......   Not as well as you thought... apparently.!!!

We all just burst into hysterics.

The fact checking continued for weeks after the interview.
The Gibson group weren`t putting anything about Scientology into their two hour documentary that couldn`t be proven in a court of law.

See... What did I tell you ?  The media can be silenced for a while. But they come back better prepared ....when you least expect it.

The ex CCHR staff member who was going to be interviewed was under immense pressure.
I can`t go into detail. But if you want to hear what she has to say about all this just
read her story here...

It was a huge sigh of relief from all concerned when despite the odds, she did her interview and it was in the can.

It was in December when the first hour finally screened on TV.

I wish I could link you to it. But there was copyrighted footage in the doco about another cult and for that reason it was pulled off youtube.

I think it was the day before the next episode was about to screen when I got a call from the director.

"They are doing a promo piece on TV3 about Part 2 of How to spot a cult. I`m stuck down here in Wellington. Could you do me a huge favour and go on live TV to be interviewed about it ?"

Sure. When do I need to be there ?

"7:30 am."

Is that a real time ? I thought that was just made up so people thought they had been asleep longer.

I`m not a morning person....

« Last Edit: April 18, 2012, 08:26:44 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #253 on: April 18, 2012, 09:05:45 AM »

                                            SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                Part 221

                                                 " Cut ! "

Immediately following the broadcast of Part 2 of "How to spot a cult", Scientology lodged
two formal complaints with the New Zealand broadcasting standards authority.
One was for the teaser a week before mine. It was an interview with a psychologist
who acted as a consultant for the doco.
And the second complaint was for the doco itself.

It took a while, but when the findings were released TV 3 was completely exonerated.
Scientology`s complaints about unbalanced, biased broadcasting were found to be groundless.    (Yure Radojkovich is the current course supervisor for scio)

Now because of efforts to intimidate Genny by Ferriss in Christchurch, another media organization had taken an interest in how Scientology used intimidation tactics to silence its critics.

We had a protest here in Auckland shortly after that and another anon and I met up with another film crew.  We were fitted with concealed microphones and then arrived at the protest site , at the bottom of Queen Street to await further instructions.

Just before the scheduled start time, a guy came up to us and pointed to a vehicle parked close to the intersection.  We were told to always stay within site of it.

All that was required now was for Ferriss to arrive and apply Scientology to us for broadcast on National TV.

It was a long shot. You see when Genny had been Fair gamed the previous month she had called the cops.
Ferriss was told at that time that he was on notice. One more instance of his harassment and lewd behavior and he`d be up on a charge.

There are photos somewhere on this board of him being addressed by a Police Officer.

Sadly that was enough for Mike to pull his head in and he wasn`t filmed applying pure Scientology that day.

I`ve had many discussions with the media here in NZ.
In fact I was behind the "Herald on Sunday" article published in the same two pager about Aaron Saxton. Here is some of it.

As well as that Campbell Live did a segment...

The media here are more than ready to give the New Zealand public an insight into what Scientology is really all about. The two criteria being. It must be current and local.

Please personal message me if you have something...

Mike Ferriss, Aaron Saxton, and Wise Beard man talking on NewsTalkZB_29-11-09  23.41 MB

I had to wait for the "call in hour" to get my 2 cents in.
First few minutes of this file the sound is low quality. But not for long.
Really good listen.   23.4 MB.

                                                   How to spot a cult Part 2.

Seems part one has some copyright issues due to the Waco Texas footage shown in part one.

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« Reply #254 on: April 18, 2012, 09:02:11 PM »

                                                     SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                          Part 222

                                                   The edge of the universe

For thousands of years man has gazed at the night sky and pondered where the universe ends.

And if there is a border around it.... where is the exit ?

Even contemplating a question like this , throws the mind out of circuit.
The mind actually falls to pieces when asked about the dimensions of the universe.
No mind in existence has the creation of the universe as part of its experience.

So it just draws a blank and you end up with the facial expression of a catwalk model.

Then the mind kicks back in and says "Gee if I could figure this out, I`d become famous."
It flicks imagery at you of being photographed by paparazzi and accepting awards and receiving peoples admiration. Just like Hubbard did. You`d think ..."Hey it might even lead to me finally getting laid."

People would worship me. I`d have to stipulate that I wouldn`t do interviews with anything but the very best Scientific Journals.  Oh... And I`d buy a dream home near the beach and listen to Neil Diamond records all day."

This is the mind at work.  Imprisoning you again..... Back in the physical universe.

If you`d just lasted a bit longer, while your mind was blown away, you would have seen the EXIT right there.

The EXIT to the universe is not to be found inside the universe.
It`s always just around the next bend. It`s just beyond the highest number.

I know this is a bit heavy for a ........ evening.  See it blows your fucking mind.

              The EXIT from the physical universe is within you.

   But ,  you say... "I don`t want to exit the physical universe."

  Your wish is granted.

             "Everything physical that surrounds you is there because you are holding on to it."

"But that can`t be true. I`m surrounded by some things I definitely don`t want. I`m not holding on to them. I wish they would go away."

Just like the dimensions of the universe that is a bitchy thing that has puzzled people for generations.

"Why is the stuff I want, so hard to get, while the stuff I don`t want is so hard to get rid of ?"

 And once again the exit from this endless cycle is within you.

Look at it this way. You lose it all anyway when you die. Everything you have worked so hard for.
And everything you worked so hard to avoid is all gone. Vanished.

And remember what I told you. Death is just enforced present moment awareness.

The next time you die, notice that you have never felt so alive.
But also notice that it is impossible to manifest fear.

Manifesting must occur before fear can manifest.
Pure fear cannot exist.... Only "fear of."

This is why no one can have an intelligent conversation about God.

Any manifestation can only ever be less than God. And people Fear it.
Like I already told you. Everything you`ve ever been told about God is wrong.
The God that exists in your mind is a false God.

I guess this is moving along a little faster than you want to go right now....

I`m not writing this stuff to be clever.  I`m not forcing anyone to read this.
What has happened is that I have for some reason, which I`ll cover later, called forth the exact
information that un-glues people from their suffering. I`m making a record of it.
It`s here if you need it.

To do this you will need to get to know the stranger.

The stranger is the almost indescribable.
The stranger is you, minus all your circumstances.

Now here is the thing.... Your circumstances have left you with an inside out view of the stranger.

For twenty minutes a day. Take a seat and have a break from being you.
Put yourself in a distraction free room.
To re-tune yourself hold your hands in front of you., palms together.
Imagine all your past streaming out from your left hand and all your future streaming from your right hand.

Focus on the crack between your hands and project present moment awareness between your hands.
Expand that present moment awareness by pushing your hands apart.

Once you feel an energy between your hands, pull them back till your head is in the space between your hands.  This energy will become more and more tangible the more you get in tune with it.
If it`s still not solid enough for you , move your hands about. Maybe open and close them as if you have chewing gum stuck between them.

I`ll tell you a story about this.  My son was trying for a couple of days to get this energy flowing.
He was pissed off. So I told him to move his hands between mine and "Stop trying."
I got him to close his eyes and just feel. He was quite excited to finally feel it.

Before long I removed my hands. When he opened his eyes he could still feel it and he was delighted.
At that exact moment our front door flew open completely by itself. Freaked us both out.

You`d think being an amputee would make this a handicap. Not so. Your imaginary hands work even better than your real ones.

Now for the twenty minutes rest your hands on your lap (imaginary or real) and simply breathe.
Breathe as if every breath is the only breath in existence. Breathe as if you are pretending to sleep.
In and out through the nose.

In, out. Totally relaxed. Now shut your mind off.

As soon as you get distracted by the mind , your breathing will stop and start erratically.
Don`t take a loss. Just bring your attention back to present moment awareness and reconnect your breathing.

This is the WORK.  Don`t go ..."Oh I fucked up. Now I`ll have to start again."
Just bring your breathing back to the connected in out pattern with no pauses.
Listen to someone sleeping, particularly a kid, and you`ll get the idea.

And remember this is hard to do wrong. It`s easy to do right.

When you have escaped from the constant nagging of the mind... The stranger will appear.

And what after all, is a stranger ?  Only a friend you haven`t made yet.

The stranger will not judge you. You will just know this. No need to be told.

This will be the most precious experience you are having NOW.

Because NOW is where the stranger always is.
Now you will be aware that it was you who was the stranger.
The stranger was always only you.

Now you and the stranger are one. 

You can never know the stranger from outside of the stranger.

From outside of the stranger you assumed it was like a sun radiating in every direction.
Upon entering the stranger you NOW see that the stranger is now radiating inwards.

But how big am I ?  you asked, and immediately you have embraced the whole universe.

Oh... I wonder what`s on TV ?
« Last Edit: April 19, 2012, 10:43:42 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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