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« Reply #255 on: April 19, 2012, 11:50:37 AM »

                                         SENSE OF DOUBT

                                            Part 223

                                         Sense of insecurity

One of the great contradictions one has to make peace with is that they are programed to feel
fear at the thought of being nothing. But as I pointed out, you have to be something to have fear.

When you are nothing....There is nothing to fear.

How this has stuck you to an identity is really quite vicious.

Shit man. Billions of dollars and billions of man hours have been spent by people to un-stick themselves from this puzzle. And here you are getting it for free from someone with only a Dollar scholar certificate from 1967.

So here it goes.

You have searched your mind for answers. Because they weren`t there, it was assumed that either the answers didn`t exist or maybe, just maybe, someone else had the answers.

Or maybe you think, this will all be sorted out in the future by scientists who drive flying cars.
But by far the most fashionable choice is. "I just won`t think about it. I`ve seen other people who don`t seem bothered about this. I`ll just do what they do.... I`ll invent the flying car.
 Then Scientists will be able to sort it all out in luxury and it will be on the TV news between items about victims of crime."

However for anybody asking the big questions, like the victims of crime you just saw on the news, they look for outside help. Maybe a religion. Maybe a therapist. Maybe the latest self help book.

However I assure you that what ever form of treatment is in vogue, it will end up on the scrape heap of irrelevance, sooner or later. Like every self help book that has ever been published that didn`t have an army of supporters crushing any opposition to it.

What ? You though all the religions and philosophies are still there because they work ?

Well how come you are still fucked up ?

How come the supporters of these religions and philosophies are even more fucked up than you are ?

And how come if you try to tell them that their philosophy of love is fucked up, they want to kill you ?

I have a unique perspective on this. If someone says what I`m telling you is fucked up. I say
"I agree with them totally !!!"

If I was put on the stand to defend myself. I`d admit that I believe in nothing.
Therefore I have nothing to defend.

It`s only when you believe in something that your troubles begin.

You are immediately vulnerable.

What happens after twenty years of believing in something, you find out it is a con ?
You are devastated. Your world falls apart.

The leader of your belief system is sent to jail for fraud or sexual abuse of minors.
How could this be ?  And there you are back in the presence of the stranger.

People have fallen for the bullshit that they are somehow broken and need fixing.

How can a work of art be broken ?

Some art expert looks at your broken work of art and says " This splattering of semen on this Picasso
needs to be removed."

But you say "But my work of art is called "Picasso was a wanker."

Get used to the fact that you are a living work of art.

  "All efforts to resolve who you really are, outside of yourself, are efforts to mislabel your own art."

« Last Edit: April 19, 2012, 07:39:35 PM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #256 on: April 20, 2012, 11:53:37 AM »

                                       SENSE OF DOUBT

                                             Part 224

                                         The art of being

Have you noticed that while doing the breathing that you have a perception center ?

It feels like you are in your head.

If you were to imagine a force radiating from you, it would feel as if it radiated outwards from you in every direction like a giant expanding sphere.

And at the center of that sphere is your perception center.

It is the "I".

This perception center can position bits of mental energy in its vicinity.
You get amnesia and that mental energy sits beyond your grasp.
But the "I" is still there perceiving this absence of a mind.

This is very upsetting for those who use their mind to identify and recognize themselves.

So do you see ? People have an instinctive urge to hold some sort of mental energy close
to them as a means of having an identity.

Just read someones C.V. 

That`s a mind.
" Look !!!  I am valuable. I have done this and this. And I can do this and this.
And I`m not like all the rest. I don`t mean to show off...But did you know others have said the same things about me, as I`m telling you now. Look! Here are all their glowing reviews of me."

And it`s all bullshit.

Just made up crape.  Just like the mind.

I had a guy show me his C.V. recently. I read it and then asked...

"How come you left out the bit about being suicidal ?"

So you see the mind is projecting what it wants others to see.

And that`s why the world and all it`s systems are pure bullshit P.R.
It`s a big game of pretend.

Everyone does it. So it must be okay.

Remember that, next time you go through the supermarket check out and answer
the obligatory question about "how are you ?"

Bullshit talking to bullshit all day long.

Give me a fucken break !!!

And that is what mind owners have sentenced themselves to.

Try saying to the checkout girl. "I`m completely normal. I fit in."

Watch her mind explode in front of you. The whole system falls apart.

And after all isn`t the system a projection of billions of minds coalescing together
to manifest the societies we live IN.

Even the dimmest among us know deep down that there is something wrong with society.
Something at a deep core level.

And that`s where we are going now.

As one sits there with present moment consciousness, one is aware of a perception center.
You go...Here I am looking out from this spot.

"Why is nothing happening ? Is this the end of everything the breathing exercise has to offer ?
What a fucken waste of time. Get real. You arsehole.  I`m going to finish reading this bit and then I`m not listening to another word you have to say. Any fool can see that what you should be saying here is ........  ........     .......      . "

Give me one more chance.
Now that I`ve shown you how to rid yourself of a mind. Maybe I can show you how to get rid of you.

Of course you say..."But I don`t want to get rid of me."

And yet at first you didn`t want to get rid of your mind. And if you have done the breathing you have lost your mind.  But notice it is still there   It`s just, you don`t live in it anymore.

In fact you`ll be surprised at what the mind can offer you now, that you couldn`t see from inside it.

Likewise, by getting rid of identification with you,  aspects of yourself become apparent that you always suspected were there, but the mind had been saying.."We`ll sort this out later."

Okay.  This is a biggie...

      Imagine that you are everything everywhere.

     Get that feeling of expansiveness.

   It`s as if you are a giant sphere and everything within, is you.

It`s as if you embrace the whole universe. 

Oh what`s that ? No urge to destroy. No urge to rape and pillage yourself.
Just an overwhelming sense of joy and wonder. And yet no sense of mystery.

Now zero in on a marble drifting through you. See its clouds and oceans and land masses.

Now be filled with a desire to explore it. To feel it. To breathe it`s atmosphere.

Pick a country. Pick a city, pick a town, pick a street. Pick an address. Pick
a head to inhabit.

Sense that desire to be a part of this aspect of you.

Now use those emotions to turn yourself inside out.

Turn your unexpressed potential into expressed potential.

Now instead of looking in at yourself , you are looking out from yourself.
You have a perception center.

But the exact same emotions that pushed you inside out are now holding you there
and colorizing everything you perceive.

Everything you radiate out is filtered through these core emotions.

Emotions create a mind. A mind is a slave of the emotions.

The mind is the tool used by the emotions to create manifestations.

    The physical universe is a giant art supply warehouse.

       "Art has no boundaries."

          "Identification with your art only serves to give you boundaries."

                "Thus you became a living work of art."

So for now. I just want that "being inside out" concept to sink in.

If you still have a perception center which is radiating out from you, then realize that the stranger resides within that perception center.

You cannot come to know the stranger from without.

I`m actually at this stage myself.  I`m trying to establish the best way to navigate through
these core emotions.  But believe me its like tampering with the rudder of a giant ship.
At this level, one slight adjustment can have life altering ramifications.

Oh.......oh.....  I`m onto something.   I`ll get back to you soon.

« Last Edit: May 30, 2012, 10:34:27 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #257 on: April 21, 2012, 09:29:12 AM »

                                              SENSE OF DOUBT

                                              Part 225

                                           There are no strangers.

I`m going to pass this over now to the stranger to answer my questions about how to navigate through the emotional core that separates us.

Hello. Are you here ?

"And hello to you."

Can you explain for me who and what you are?"

"I am the `am not` part of the `I am` that is you."

 So....  You don`t actually exist. Right?

"Correct. But I could. That`s when I become the `I am` part of you."

Okay then. Well what do you do?

"Whatever you want."

Okay then. I want a billion dollars and my own personal harem.

"No you don`t"

What do you mean... No I don`t?

"If you did, you`d already have them."

Well what do I want then?


Well why haven`t I got it then? Why am I here asking you questions?

"You actually do have enlightenment. You are just trying to find a way of bringing it to others."
I`m giving you exactly what you asked for. Always."

So... How do I bring enlightenment to others?

"Actually you`ve been doing a superb job so far. And speaking with me is the next step.
So ask your questions."

Okay. I`ll just go with this for the time being and see how it works out.

What is the capital of Nigeria?

"I`m sorry. But as I explained, I will only give you what you want."

Are you telling me I don`t want to know what the capital of Nigeria is?


Actually... You`re right.
Okay. Here is another question.
Are you God, or just a bigger version of me, or someone else completely?

"I am indefinable. As soon as I am defined, I cease to be that which is defined."

So was I correct in describing you as the stranger?

"Actually that is the perfect word. Far more insightful than anything else I`ve been called."

So what other names have you had?

"As many names as there are people."

Speaking of people. Anyone who is reading this will be convinced I`ve gone mad.

"What? You had alternative directions you could have gone, but you decided to take the one where people would think of you as mad?"

What ? Now you are posing questions. What`s the deal ?

"I give people what they want. Even questions."

I think you`re gonna find it hard to prove that you give people what they want. They are living with the results of not getting what they want. Explain that?

"The results they are living with is exactly what they want. The things they didn`t get also gave them what they wanted..... An experience."

Can you explain that a little more?

"I am the part of them that could have an experience but chose not to. They are the part of me that could have an experience and chose to."

So what is the experience people chose to have?

"Take a look around you."

But that`s the problem. So many people are having bad experiences. What about someone being tortured right now? How do you justify that?

"I don`t. For every person being tortured, there is someone who wants to torture.
Both have called forth that experience. Whereas you have not called forth that experience.
Thus for you, the experience is not happening. Thus for you, it is not real that someone else could."

It still just seems so pointless. Why would people call forth an experience like that?

"It`s just as pointless as any other experience. You`ve got to remember that people individuated to have experience, not to have a point to it. The torturer wants to experience total power and the tortured wants to experience total vulnerability. You have focused on two extreme examples of what all of humanity is existing between. "

How do you mean ?

"Well haven`t you played torturer or tortured in your own experience?"

Sure, I guess. But not to an extreme.

"You experienced what you called forth."

And the fact that I`m having this dialog now is because I called it forth ?


So can you explain the mechanics of what`s actually taking place?

"As you correctly pointed out, one cannot know "the stranger" from without.
So you are asking questions from an outside perspective, and I am answering them
from the within perspective. So in effect, you are moving between the two.
From not knowing and knowing. Between unenlightened and enlightened."

But which is me and which is you?

"We are each other."

I`ll be back soon with some more questions....

"We`ll be here."

« Last Edit: April 21, 2012, 09:50:34 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #258 on: April 21, 2012, 11:22:06 PM »

                                                    SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                      Part 226

                                                   The emotional core

How does one navigate through their emotional core?

"Straight into it eh... Okay. First I`d better explain what an emotional core is. Understanding it is part of de-constructioning it. Before one enters physical there is a desire. That desire is born out of a kind of frustration at being a spectator.  You are observing all your friends having a game and you can`t resist joining in. That emotional desire has a purity to it. It is not a corrupted desire. It is not a half hearted desire. Like I say it is a pure desire.  And it can potentially be anything.

Think of dropping out of the sky into the sea. The second you break the water you are immersed in another dimension. Another reality if you like. Before you hit the water, you could have potentially landed anywhere. But that commitment to enter the water has now removed that potential.

That raw desire that motivated your jump was an internal thing. But just like the water that surrounds you upon entering the sea, now you are coated externally by that desire.  This is like you are choosing your costume for the play.  So do you see? Your initial desire has now cast the dye.

You have manufactured the character to facilitate your desire for the experience you chose."

Actually that makes a lot of sense. Continue...

"Making sense will not lead to enlightenment. However, making non sense will."

We`ll pick that up later.  Continue with this emotional core stuff...

"Well... The emotional core is like an invisible costume that has type cast you for certain roles.
No matter what play you are cast in, you are always the same character."

But don`t people get sick of staying in character. What about after they`ve had their experience?

"Think of it like a costume room. When they want to change costume they have to take off the old one first. This of course means standing there naked."

Are you saying that nudity leads to enlightenment ?

"I`m using this as an analogy. To be enlightened you have to take off the costume you are wearing."

I had no idea it would be that easy.

"Oh yeah... Try talking someone out of being everything they have worked their whole lives to become."

What are you saying? That they all need to drop out and become hippies?

"You don`t think hippies are wearing a costume ?"

I think I`m getting it. So what`s the answer?

"Simple. Just stop identification through a character that your emotional core is so passionately compelling you to be. ie. Stop taking yourself seriously."

Are you suggesting that people abandon their passion ?

"Quite the opposite. I`m suggesting that people reclaim their passion. Their original desire becomes corrupted to the extent that they are serious about it."

But there are some things that require a serious attitude. The world is facing some serious problems.

"Serious attitudes are what is creating your world`s serious problems."

" Lighten up.  It isn`t called enlightenment for nothing."
« Last Edit: April 22, 2012, 08:28:40 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #259 on: April 22, 2012, 01:17:37 PM »

                                              SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                 Part 227


Hey I`ve been mulling over the Immersion in water analogy you used to demonstrate developing an emotional costume.  I wonder if that is why some religions dramatize this immersion in water as a way of washing away someones sins and declaring them re born. What have you got to say about this ?

"Very good. But the washing away ones past is of course really just to set the mood. The real emphasis here is on the re-emergence. The person performing the ritual is actually dramatizing the desire to torture others. The expectation is that when the person re emerges they will be more compliant and cooperative with the system that has given them a new life."

"Imagine for a moment the person performing the baptism, decided to hold you under. Maybe he suspected you had more sins than you weren`t coming clean about. After you have struggled free and re emerged, you will have no desire to offer loyalty to the system that nearly drowned you.
You are re born with no desire to cooperate with this system.
So you see... someone has taken this phenomenon and tried to apply a controlled segment of it for their own agenda. And that defines a ritual."

Are you saying rituals are bad ?

"Not at all. Knock yourself out. Go bang your head against a weeping wall for as long as you like.
But realize that if the wall wasn`t there, you`d be banging your head against nothing."

Maybe we should leave religion and rituals till later. How about some information people can use now.
I`m thinking of people who are going through a bad time. What should they be doing to get through it?

"People will always have obstacles. There will always be something between them and where they want to be. Let it remain an obstacle. Don`t turn it into a problem. And most importantly, don`t get serious about it. Then you`ll have a serious problem on your hands."

But what about someone who is really suffering. Someone who has already turned their problems into serious problems ... What can they do ? Maybe an addict or someone about to be evicted...

"What people don`t realize is that it is there own unwillingness to experience what they are going through that holds it there. Think of it this way... You can either change the world or change yourself.
So first, stop identifying with the character you are playing. That breathing exercise you wrote about is perfect for that.  Once you are outside of yourself , you are also outside of identification with the circumstances that are holding you in the problem. That identification has pulled your imaginary past and future in on you. That is why you feel overwhelmed and the solution is not to be seen.
Once you can say "This is the experience I am having now", and mean it, you have changed yourself from being someone who was less than the problem , back into someone who is up to the challenge."

Makes sense. But what if your problem is out of your hands. Like say a medical condition ?

"Same thing. Be with it now. It has something to tell you if you are willing to listen."

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« Reply #260 on: April 23, 2012, 05:37:27 PM »

                                         SENSE OF DOUBT

                                              Part 230

                                             Bigger me

How come when I do the breathing each day I`m having a dialog again ?
I figured once I`d escaped the mind I`d just have nothing interrupting me?

"You have escaped the mind. The dialog you are having now is with me."

But surely then I have left present moment awareness.

"Not so. You have entered present moment awareness. And as you correctly said earlier. It`s bigger than you think."

But isn`t this just a case of, before I had my mind talking to me, and now I have you talking to me?

"Yes.  While you were still identified with the mind, the mind was giving you answers to questions you hadn`t asked. Now I`m here to answer the questions that you really want answered.
By the way... Does your breathing stay connected while I am talking to you ?"

Yes. As a matter of fact it does. That`s why I knew something odd was up.

Look I`m sure people who are still reading this will be convinced I have gone mad. Can you just explain this to them. I`ll listen as well.

"Have you ever spent your life knowing that you could be more than you are ? Have you ever looked at your life and thought "Is that all there is?" Maybe you have all these abandoned passions. Maybe everything looks gray and one day melts into the next and you say "I have lost my sense of joy and wonder." Well that`s because it`s true.  You could be more than you are. You have unlimited potential.
It`s just you`ve been expressing it in ways that are not fulfilling. You have been viewing life with tunnel vision. So you get into a rut because it`s all you know.

This leaves you with a feeling of "I`m this... But I could be so much more."
So now we have `who you are`, and `who you could be`, trying to cohabit the same space.
Two strangers sharing a relationship. But `who you could be` is always willing to help you.
If you ask.... If your request is genuine and sincere then `who you could be`will be there for you.
Once you quiet down `all that you are`, then you can listen to `who you could be`.

The more you allow `who you could be` into your life, the more you become `who you could be.`
Does that make sense?"

Actually...It fucken does.

I need a moment with that.  Thank you.

"Nothing but love here partner."

« Last Edit: April 23, 2012, 05:43:23 PM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #261 on: April 26, 2012, 11:38:28 AM »

                                             SENSE OF DOUBT

                                              Part 231

                                             .....   ...... ......

Okay. That last dialog we had really threw me. Since hearing what you said my whole space has been overloaded with information. I can`t seem to look at one piece without the whole thing collapsing on me.
It`s like I`m overwhelmed by uncertainty. The questions I have get mixed in with the answers.
I`ve actually got tears in my eyes as I write this.

"Wow. What an experience."

Now I`m laughing. What the fuck?

"You are the part of me that is having the experience. I`m just putting you in the places you need to be to have the experience that I desire."

"Well why not just have the experience yourself and leave me the fuck alone?"

"But you are me. You`ve forgotten that, but I never will. We`re partners."

But I thought partners were supposed to help each other?

"Why don`t you try it then?"

Shit. You just cracked me up again. How come I`ve forgotten that we are partners then?

"Only by forgetting, can you experience the exhilaration of remembering again. I experience that exhilaration through you. I put you where we can experience what I cannot.
Like I say... partners. "

So are you God? Are you me? Are you Satan trying to tempt me into evil?

"I am that which is undefined. I am the unexpressed potential to your expressed potential."
"You look at something that is, and wonder what else it could have been, and that is me."
"I am what you could be.  I`m something else."

This is nuts. And yet it makes me feel wonderful talking to you.

" I know. You are having the experience only we can have."

Hang on. The reason I`m doing this in the first place is so that others can have this experience.

"That`s why you are having it. You desired to come to know the stranger. Didn`t you notice those two Jehovah`s witnesses I sent to see you yesterday? They arrived as strangers and left as friends." 

What`s your point?

"You still haven`t got it.. Have you?  To the degree that I am a stranger, you surround yourself with strangers.
"To the degree that I cease to be a stranger, you will cease to be surrounded by strangers."
"Then together we can experience the joy of rediscovering old friends."

This is so weird on so many levels. So are you other people as well?

"I am nothing, and potentially all things."

I`m sure this will all tie in together at some point. Actually nothing I wrote here was what I thought this would be about. We`ll speak more soon.

"In the meantime.... Don`t be a stranger."

« Last Edit: April 26, 2012, 11:41:08 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #262 on: April 26, 2012, 09:43:02 PM »

                                                  SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                       Part 232

                                                  Separate tables

Is there anything you can say that will help what`s going on here make sense?

"The problem is for this to make sense it would have to fit into someones present reality.
But their present reality is what is preventing it from making sense. You see you have, understandably,
come from the viewpoint that if it can`t be experienced, it isn`t real."

So one has to take this on faith?

"There are all sorts of words that are stop off points on the road to just simply knowing."

Okay. This is good... You see I feel guilty writing stuff that I haven`t actually grasped myself.
It`s like I`m standing on the edge of a deep abyss and I just leap off totally vulnerable every time I hit the keyboard.

"And yet you know you will be okay."

Yeah. I really do. I just know.

"Shall we move on then?"

I have so many things to ask you.

"I have so many things to tell you."

How come I`m depressed?

"But you aren`t."

But I should be.

"So is your question really, "How come I aren`t depressed when I should be?"

I s`pose.

"My desire was to experience circumstances that should be depressing and yet remain un-depressed."

That seems cruel. I should be depressed about that in itself.

"And are you?"


"I`m finding this very funny."

I know. It`s making me laugh.

"Good. This is excellent. A perfect example. I see the humor. You experience the laughter."
I roll the dice and you move."

So is this process for my benefit or for yours?

"We are one another. We are partners."

Can you tell me then, why do we have this partnership?  I mean what is the point of it?

"For you this will be like when you are lost and trying to raise help on a rickety old short wave radio.
You`ll hear bits and pieces of words and then the signal is lost. But if you persevere you will tune in enough to get the facts through despite the static.

Imagine being a cloud gazing down on the world. You see everything that happens. Yet you are uninvolved. You can merge with other clouds and reform again. When you do merge, it is impossible
for someone to say where you end, and where the other cloud begins.

No one can do anything to please or displease you. You are just a cloud. You have no stake in outcomes
of any sort. One second or one billion years are indistinguishable from each other.
You experience nothing. You can`t even look back at yourself and say "I am a cloud."

To do that you would have to separate from part of your consciousness.
The moment you do that, you have an experience. Then you report back to yourself after experiencing how magnificent a cloud you are. Then maybe you got a little bolder and wondered what it would be like to experience yourself from down on the earth. Next thing everyone`s doing it.

You experience what it is like to fall to the ground as water. You experience what it is like to be a river, a lake, an ocean. You experience what it is like to stay away from home for a while. You experience whatever we want to. Knowing full well that when you have had the experience, your physical form will evaporate and you will be raised again to re unite with me.

I am the part of us that knows what it`s like to freeze on a mountain top, melt into a stream and flow down a river to the ocean. But I cannot experience it. I`m a fucking cloud for God`s sake.
I experience these things and many more through you."

I had no idea you were going to say any of that.

"No. I knew though. You were there to experience it for me."

So wouldn`t it be easier to just stay a cloud?  You`d never experience pain, rejection, loneliness, poverty, addiction, fear, frustration, sickness, bondage....?

"I don`t. You do. I experience none of those things."

Well why do they exist at all?

"What would we be talking about if they didn`t?

I don`t know. Nothing... I suppose.

"Tell you what. I`ll discuss nothing with you, when you invent the one sided coin."

You make me laugh.

"Bingo !!"

« Last Edit: April 26, 2012, 09:51:56 PM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #263 on: April 27, 2012, 08:48:19 PM »

                                        SENSE OF DOUBT

                                             Part 233

                                              No idea

What about people that believe that they are just chemicals, and may think that
my conversation with you is just a chemical imbalance?

"I`d say they aren`t looking at the full story. Take for example a human tear drop.
You can dissect it into its chemical parts and maybe get those chemicals from another source, mix them together in the correct proportions and create a tear yourself.

But you don`t then have a human tear. Because it isn`t the full story.
It`s just a narrow view. So narrow that one has to look at it through a microscope.
Something motivated that tear. And it is rarely that someone is crying over chemicals."

That`s a bloody good way of putting it. But what about the full story? What about chemicals that
people take that effect them?

"That wouldn`t be the full story either.  To know the full story one would have to experience it from the beginning. The chemicals which compose the physical universe are potential expressed.
As unexpressed potential, it was desired that something be created that was outside of what is pure potential.  So `potentially anything`, let a part of itself become `specifically something`.

The partnership was born. "Specifically something" was now able to bond with `something else.`
`Specifically something` was able to inhabit `something else`. And thus experience was possible.
`Specifically something` could now interact with `something else`.
Pure potential cannot experience any sort of effect, except through potential expressed becoming `specifically something` and interacting with `something else`.

So let`s say something specific was a body and the something else is the chemicals that it is composed of. Finally something specific had a way of experiencing its very existence being dependent on something else.
An experience that pure potential never has."

I`m sure there would be some brilliant scientists around who would argue with you over that.

"Not possible."

How come?

"I don`t argue."

Okay. I`m sure people reading this have a million questions as well. I mean this is profound stuff.

"How lucky they all are to experience all the emotions this type of subject brings up."

God. Every time I think I have a grip on where we are going you head off somewhere else.

"Don`t stress over it. Lighten up. We have all the time in the world."

So why do so many people believe they are part of some giant chemical reaction?

"That`s because in its enthusiasm for experience, `specifically something`, rather than just interacting with `something else`, started to believe that it is dependent on `something else`.
Have you not heard of drug , or chemical dependency?"

So people interact with chemicals for an experience?

"Quite addictive is it not?"

So is this why people get addicted to drugs?

"What I`m saying is that if you didn`t believe, your very existence was dependent on chemicals, you would cease to be chemical dependent."

Holy crap. Now I have a hundred more questions.

« Last Edit: April 27, 2012, 08:59:19 PM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #264 on: April 28, 2012, 11:43:02 AM »

                                         SENSE OF DOUBT

                                             Part 234


I`m really stumped when it comes to giving titles to these dialogs we are having.
I just get a feeling about what we are going to cover. But then you surprise me.
Why is that?

"The line between us is becoming blurry. We are getting back together."

So that`s why I don`t know if it is you talking or me?

"Don`t worry. It will all come together."

Also I`m concerned that I may misrepresent you when I try to find the words to convey what you are trying to tell me.

"Once again. I`m completely used to being misrepresented. It`s happened for thousands of years.
As we make this journey back together there are bound to be a few bumps and mis-communications.
But over all we are on course. Earlier on you wrote about "The art of avoiding war." We are writing the rough draft." 

As soon as you said that, I felt another download of information forming around me.
Okay shoot.

"The world and all its people are the casualties of a war that is being waged."

So this would be a global war. I haven`t seen it in the news.

"That`s because it is the news. It is the subtext of everything that is newsworthy."
"The news is a summary of the daily casualties."

Okay. I give up. What are you talking about?

"It`s the war over who you are. Some believe you are chemicals and some believe you are spiritual."

So we are talking about Religion versus Science...

" Yes. One side represents purely physical, while the other represents purely spiritual."

Would misrepresents be a better word?

"Well not really. They both have accurately represented one side of the argument.
However if they represented both sides , there would be no argument.
Physical and spiritual are both necessary for the marriage that gives birth to life.
Life is the offspring of physical and spiritual.
Right now that marriage is going through a messy divorce and the kids are suffering."

So what`s the answer? How do we get them back together?

"Ultimately it is up to the children, who are experiencing the fall out of this war, to be the peacemakers
between their parents. Point out to them, that if they had not come together then you wouldn`t exist at all. Get them to act civilly towards each other for the sake of the children."

I don`t see how that can be done in practical terms.

"No one has. That`s why the war is the current reality.  By becoming present moment aware, you can tune into the reality that life is the offspring of physical and spiritual. Now they can come back together in harmony. This gives birth to a sense of joy and wonder. The old conflict is discarded like yesterdays news and you move into the new reality. It `s quite an emotional thing. Those emotions inspire a mind. That mind gives birth to the new manifestation."

And what is that new manifestation?

"Same as every manifestation. The celebration of the marriage between physical and spiritual.
New life."

« Last Edit: August 10, 2012, 09:19:18 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #265 on: April 30, 2012, 10:56:52 AM »

                                            SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                 Part 235

                                              Who are you?

Can you explain again exactly who you are?

"I can explain vaguely who I am. I am different things for different people."
I range from being you, to being your best friend, all the way down to being a complete stranger."

That is pretty vague...

"See if you can get this? I am nothing specific. You are asking from a specific viewpoint.
Your specific viewpoint demands specific answers. For example.... Many in your specific position
say "I won`t believe it till I see it with my own eyes. Or hear it with my own ears. Or feel it with my own hands."
Yet I can only be known from the inside. I can`t be perceived from outside because I have no boundaries."

So how can anyone ever get to know you?

"By losing their specific identity. And what holds you in a specific identity is your experiences which you store in a made up thing called the mind. When you lose your mind, you lose identification with the self that the mind insists you are.
So every time something blows your mind you reconnect with me directly."

Give me some examples...

"Sure. A traumatic experience, an overdose, a mental breakdown, long term depression, the loss of a loved one, a near death experience. Anything that your mind cannot compute. This is how people have come to know me.
But here they come to me still with a viewpoint of need. They are hurting and their mind doesn`t have  a remedy. I will only ever give people exactly what they ask for. And what they want more than anything is an identity. But they can`t go back to the old identity. So they return to physical with a modified identity. An observer could say..."They have seen the light. Or been reborn."

So what do people make of this?

"Well that`s where people start having problems. They perceive me as something to be feared.
Something to be revered. Someone you don`t want to offend or disobey."

So what you are saying is they consider you to be God.

"Unfortunately yes. But do you see... Once again, this need to manufacture an identity.
Suddenly I have a beard and sit in the clouds with a gavel sentencing people to burn for eternity."

And for the record... You aren`t that.?

"I`m undefinable. As soon as I am defined, you can be sure that what is defined is not me."

But why am I able to talk to you then? I`m not suffering from some traumatic incident?

"What I meant was that, that is how people have come to know me, from a viewpoint of confusion and fear.
You have just come to me because you simply asked."

Hasn`t everyone? You know... asked for you to come to them.

"Sure. But they have, in the majority of cases, come with an agenda.
They have tried to use me for their identities own means.
They have wanted to join me and stay outside as well.
As a result of that, people have very strong mixed emotions on the subject of me."

So how does one connect up with you and not bring along an agenda?

"Just like you did. Lose identification with the mind. Then you have present moment awareness.
What you`ve done then is transcended a `specific view point` and thus an agenda.
Picture this... Imagine an empty honey comb. Now imagine you are a bee backed into one of the holes.
What you can observe is restricted by the circumstances you are in.
Now fly out of the honey comb and look back at it. Now you can see into all the holes that were not visible before. So you have gone from having one specific viewpoint to having many points to view."

And that achieves what?

"Well you are now viewing things as I do.
You are looking at life and lives from a point of non identification."

What do you mean lives?

"You cannot see previous and future lives you can identify with while you are viewing them through the one you are identified with presently."

Okay. Stop the bus. I want to get out for a while.

"Take all the time you want."
« Last Edit: April 30, 2012, 11:01:55 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #266 on: April 30, 2012, 07:57:04 PM »

                                            SENSE OF DOUBT

                                              Part 236

                                            A day in the life

So tell me what is to be gained by losing ones identification with their life, or lives?

"They are holding you back."

In what way?

"In every way. You could have been this. You could be doing that. You could be living the dream.
But for most people they never do. They are aware that something is holding them back.
It slaps them in the face every time they look in a mirror. Yet they know nothing else. They are the broken down versions of themselves who want to become the fixed version. Yet it never happens.
Maybe tomorrow...."

But I`ve done all this and I ain`t living no dream.... I don`t have a billion dollars and a harem.

"Hang on a minute. Weren`t you, just a few short years ago, stuck in a mind control cult, with severe depression and frustrated over not being able to connect with the "who you could be."
Aren`t you the one who, more than anything wanted to be able to ease peoples suffering?
You never had the dream of having a billion dollars and a harem. Don`t deceive yourself.
Look at you now... You`ve escaped the prison of the mind and are now in daily communication with `who you could be`. You have no idea what`s still to come. It isn`t in your experience.
Had I given you your billion dollars, you`d be out in your speed boat all day fucking.
You`d be so distracted, who`d be there for me to talk through?
You left `who you were` behind and are now becoming `who you could be`.
This all came about because you lost identification with `who you were`.

You are right of course. I am living proof of what has come up in our dialog.

"One day you should read what you`ve written here.  The stuff in here blows peoples minds."

I`ve still got some issues. You know ...personal stuff.

"Look. We`ve been giving an overview so far. Are you ready to start targeting specific areas?"

In a minute. Can you just explain to readers what use any of this is to them.

"Okay. Let`s say we have someone here with a long or short term unwanted condition.
Any sort of unwanted manifestation. The current viewpoint is to try to eradicate or modify that
unwanted manifestation. Use your own example.
So here there is a focus on the manifestation. But what is unseen is the bigger picture that the unwanted manifestation is only a small part of.

That bigger picture is all the circumstances and experiences that the unwanted manifestation owner
believes is who they are. 

So do you see? You have before you an identity built on circumstances and experiences which include the unwanted manifestation.

Now they want to stay someone with all their circumstances and experiences, but without the unwanted manifestation.   They want to become the happy them but insist on bringing the unhappy them along too. Bringing along who they are is such a high priority that it never even gets considered as an option.  As a result, people would rather be someone with an unwanted manifestation, and know who they are, than be someone without an unwanted manifestation, that they don`t know.

"You can take the girl out of the ghetto. But you can`t take the ghetto out of the girl."

And your point is....

"By gaining present moment awareness, one loses "identification" with the mind. The mind is the bigger picture that is your circumstances and experiences. So let`s say you have a mind full of why you shouldn`t be who you could be. Lose identification with that mind and you have lost every reason that you can`t be who you could be."

You do realize this completely revolutionizes the field of healing.

"Healing is modifying who you are. Just be healed. You won`t know yourself."

« Last Edit: April 30, 2012, 08:27:49 PM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #267 on: May 01, 2012, 02:21:58 PM »

                                                  SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                         Part 237

                                                          Log Jam

I`ve got a feeling what you want to say. But each time I try to get it, it just feels like a log jam.
It doesn`t make sense.

"You are trying to fit what I`m telling you into your identity, trying to fit it into your experience,
before you release it. Just tune in and let it flow."

Alright. I`ll just pass it over to you.

"The reason people hold on so aggressively to their identity is because in their experience losing it has always been a bad experience. When it has happened in their experience it has made them feel weak and vulnerable. It has made them feel embarrassment, humiliation and like a failure.
So their experience has taught them to modify their identity into a tough impenetrable fortress.
The identity is now hell bent on protecting itself from ever being vulnerable again.
This gets so out of hand that now the identity is surrounded by strangers whom it perceives to be potential threats to its existence. They believe this is true on a deep emotional level. So as the part of them that is pure unexpressed potential, I give them what they want.
That potential is specifically expressed as strangers who are a threat to them specifically.
This then becomes part of their experience, which is me keeping my side of the bargain, of giving them specifically what they want.
Then you come along and try to convince them that they aren`t surrounded by strangers who pose a threat to their existence. And they say "Yes I am. I have the experience to prove it." And they are correct."

So how on earth do you unscramble that mess?

"By leaving earth. Eventually the person is living such a joyless life that they manifest something to destroy the identity. The fashionable way people experience this is what is called death."

You call death a fashion...

"Isn`t current fashion just an agreed upon identity one wears?"

Never thought of it like that before.

"It wasn`t in your experience.  I told you we would be going outside of your experience.
That`s the whole point." If you stay inside your experience, you risk death."

That`s actually quite funny for some reason.

"It gets even funnier. The identity builds itself to be so tough and so impenetrable that it ceases to allow any joy to get through to its host. So now the host manifests ways to destroy the identity it has created. Trouble is, it believes it is the identity. So the host dies along with it. "Better to be the dead person you know than the living person you don`t." That`s the current fashion.
It doesn`t matter how , big, strong, famous, important, influential, admired, respected, feared, smart,
criminal, heroic, talented, worshiped, loved, mysterious, witty, glamorous, sexy, tyrannical, or stupid your identity becomes; It is destined to be $1.80 worth of chemicals."

                    "You know you`re fucked when you believe your own bullshit."

« Last Edit: May 02, 2012, 09:34:46 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #268 on: May 02, 2012, 11:18:35 AM »

                                                 SENSE OF DOUBT

                                                       Part 238

                                                   Streets and palaces

But everyone dies one day. We all have a `use by date.`

"All identities have a shelf life. But the guy stocking the shelf doesn`t need to die along with his
expired products."

That`s a new way of looking at it.

"Not really. People have been looking through that from inside of it for centuries. I`ve just given you
an outside perspective of it. This is the reason behind all suffering that you have been asking for.
All suffering is an inevitable result of identifying with form."

But how can one not identify with form?  We all have a body. We all have our possessions. We have a family. We all feel the pain of the dentists drill.

"But hang on. Do you feel everybody else`s experience of pain from threats to their body, possessions and family? Do you suffer for someone else`s neglect of dental hygiene?"

Of course not. Well if I know them personally I guess a little.

"So do you see it now? Your suffering is in direct proportion to the extent of your taking it personally."

Well obviously. But what else can one do?

"Certainly nothing in your experience."

Quite the conundrum.

"All your experience can offer you is the same experience over and over again. That`s why you stay you.
So your past experience creates the mold for the future experience specifically for you personally."

So how do you ever stop it?

"Simple. Don`t take things personally."

I suppose you are going to tell me now how to not take things personally.

"Only if you want that experience."

Well. Not for me personally. But I`d like to know for everyones sake.

"That`s the only way to see it. Otherwise you`d take this personally and suffer for it inevitably."

Fuck. You are so smart.

"Your compliments are wasted on me.... Nothing personal."

Okay tell us...

"By not taking all the shit in your mind personally, you have freed yourself from an identification with the mind. That`s all you were doing with the present moment awareness breathing exercise.
You were exorcising your own ghosts.
From hence forth your old mind cannot be the cause of your suffering.
This next part is a bit tricky. And we may need to come at this from a few different perspectives till you see it. For now it will do to just get a feel for it.
The experiences stored in your mind have tainted the experiences, as you perceive them, in the exterior world. So say you have in your experience depression. Because you took it personally and identified with it. Those projected experiences are still manifest in the exterior world. So you now have the opportunity to de-construct the exterior manifestations as well.  The de-constuction of your identification of the inner world can now continue in the outer world."

I think I`m getting this. But could we explain it better?

"Alright. Let`s take another stab at it. Say you have felt inferior to others your whole life....
This was the internal identity you had identified with. That internal identity has surrounded you with confirmation that the internal identity was right all along. So you have identified with that external experience as well.
By doing the breathing you have lost identification with the internal shy person. The next step is to lose identification with the external shy person.
So you do the breathing for twenty minutes and the shy person is no longer taken seriously.
But wouldn`t you know it... You meet someone new and the shy exterior identity takes possession of you.
Spot it immediately, become present moment aware, connect your breathing. The more you hold on to present moment awareness the more the exterior ghost will lose its grip.
So this could apply to any unwanted form of identification.
Look it sounds challenging. Don`t identify with that either.
All that is required is that you notice when you are taking something personally.

Be aware that everything you produce has a shelf life. YOU DON`T."

" To the extent that you identify with what you produce , you will experience suffering."

« Last Edit: May 02, 2012, 11:26:37 AM by Ididntcomeback » Logged
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« Reply #269 on: May 03, 2012, 09:28:38 PM »

                                      SENSE OF DOUBT

                                          Part 239
                                      Halls and mirrors.                                     

I`m just wondering why a revelation like this isn`t on the news?

"The news is about conflict. This is the opposite of news."

Well how come none of the billions of dollars spent by Scientists , philosophers and universities have discovered this?

"Because they simply weren`t looking for it. I don`t think you realize how unique you are.
You absolutely have no bias or agenda. You weren`t looking from a specific point of view.
Thus you saw it. It`s a bit like looking at a rainbow. You see it from your specific point of view.
You move, it moves. Those who looked for this information on behalf of the world, where looking for it from inside a mind and a point of view, and as a result have been chasing rainbows."

But there have been some pretty smart people walking this earth. People who could quote vast tomes of knowledge, that would make me look uneducated.

"Are you trying to prove my point? Listen... When great minds have fully mapped the universe and accounted for every single atom in it, they will still be saying... "Yes . But how did it get here?"

What about quantum physics. Surely that will come up with the answer?

"The answer quantum physics has come up with is "We just don`t know." No matter how fancy your mirror is , it can only ever show a reflection. Even at the end of a hall of mirrors you still have only a reflection. You will know yourself when you can distinguish between you and your reflection."

Can you elaborate on that?

"Sure.  Everything you perceive and experience is merely your own reflection.
The moment you know that you are everything you perceive and experience, you will cease to have a reflection."

I really think I need an example of that. It`s kind of hard to get to grips with.

"Let`s start with this; What you perceive and experience is unique to you.
With you absent, none of those perceptions and experiences would exist.
So if you didn`t exist, there would be nothing to reflect.
Your perceptions and experiences are a reflection of you."

Give me something I can relate to quickly before I lose this.

"Okay. You are lonely and surrounded by strangers. One day you just start being friendly to these strangers. Next thing they start being friendly to you."

Now you are surrounded by friends.

"You became a friend and now you are reflected in everyone you meet.
The strangers you used to see have disappeared. Vanished.
They were only ever a reflection of you. It was you who perceived and experienced them, friend or stranger,
as your own reflection."

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